Anyone ever done a voluntary commitment to inpatient? Did it help? Are you still able to pump milk for your baby?

I feel like my inlaws don't respect me. I went through hell bringing my baby into the world and almost died due to malpractice bleeding out 3x my total volume. And now I have bad ppd and ppa. Anytime I start telling my story to them they hardly listen and they change the topic. They are topically positive, in my opinion. Sometimes negative things meed to be discussed. I feel like they really don't care mich about what I went through and they just want to hog my baby. They are from another state across the country so I get they want to soak up baby time. But when she cries instead of bringing her to me they try to fix her up themselves and tell me "she's fine ". She isn't fine. That's her hunger cry...or her diaper cry...or her tired cry. So when I tell them gently, she needs a new diaper they don't belive me and continue singing to her and walking her up and down the halls. I corrected them when they fell asleep with her on the couch and when they tried holding her up high on a bar chair and I said please don't do that it could end badly and it gives me anxiety. They say she's fine. I'm like no please listen. Finally I cried to my hubby and he finally listened. I was seperate from my baby for a few days in the hospital while I was dying and then for weeks after I needed a lot of help with caring for her. So now that I can be the mom I want my baby to know I'm the mom and I don't want others trying to replace me. For instance when she fussed they wanted me to get them a bottle so they could feed her...but I said no I'm trying to only nurse her and use bottles for if I have to leave for an appointment or if I need a nap. For the most part she never gets bottles. They acted like that's rediculous. But it's really hard to breast deed and latch her right now. She's 3 months and has regressed back to nipple shields which are a pain in the ass. I just want one thing to be natural and promote bonding so I'm really serious about breast feeding her. It's going well till others try to tell me what to do. I was putting her in her carseat and FIL would not stop trying to help buckle after I said repeatedly that I got it. Like when I'm caring for my baby as the mom, keep away and let me be. I don't need advice or help if I'm not asking for it. I am very maternal and have been a nurse for over 8 years with lots of peds and neo experience, plus I grew up baby sitting human babies and had a farm full of baby animals that I took care of and bottle fed PLUS I read a bunch of baby books throughout pregnancy. I do well with her and I don't need outdated advice. They used to keep my husband in a seperate room so he could cry and they could sleep AS A NEWBORN!

Anyone else experiencing postpartum panic attacks and how you’re coping? I don’t want meds. I am fairly healthy, been trying to get enough sleep. Take daily multivitamin and elderberry. 9 weeks postpartum. Only drinking 1/2-1 cup of halfcaf some days. Dealing with heart palpitations and pressure, stress, feelings of body going cold /like I’m going to pass out, etc

I’m really going back and forth on whether or I should return to work.. I’m a teacher. The thought of leaving my little guy is giving me so much anxiety. Worrying about missing out on milestones, worrying about my MIL taking care of him.. so much anxiety.

Of course money and insurance weigh on me. Anyone else feel/felt like I do/did? How did you handle it? What made you decide to quit or continue working?

I am really struggling with PPA, I think it stems from being a children's nurse and working in children's intensive care units and children's Hospice. I always seen worse case scenarios and things that are rare seem very common to me. I know every baby will come into contact with RSV by the time they are 1 year old and will likely be fine however in my head I have seen so many babies not be fine and end up ventilated and sedated for weeks due to bad infections. I have also nursed babies infected with HSV from being kissed.

So here's my issue; I am very over protective, I don't want anyone but me and dad to hold our baby. My friends are very understanding and as I'm so close to my parents I can tell them no and they don't get offended. Sometimes I need help and my mum or dad will take her for a few minutes while I run a bath for her or they will change the odd nappy for me but they don't Lift her without asking and will respect my boundaries. My partners mother on the other hand gives me major anxiety. She is the nicest woman and I am very fond of her, she's a great grandmother but there have been a few occasions where she has kissed my baby on the face, she also picked her up once when I asked her not to as I said I was worried about everyone being unwell recently, she said 'I'm fine I've had my vaccines' and proceeded to pick her up. She wants to come round weekly to see the baby and it reallllly stresses me out, as I know she just wants to hold her and I feel under a lot of pressure to let her. I have explained to her my anxieties but I just don't think she gets it? My partner thinks I'm being a bit over protective and thinks if I let my mum take her I should let his mum too and I know that but I'm hoping some other mums out there can agree that it's just different with your own mum?

I also have an auntie who doesn't seem to get it and laughs about my anxieties. She lifted her off me so quick one time I didn't have time to stop her then she refused to give her back to me when I asked (while my baby cried) I literally had to reach across a table and pull my baby off her.

It's RSV season and I'm aware that PICU is full of sick babies with RSV and I'm terrified. Am I being crazy if I don't let anyone hold her?

Hey guys a little back story I had two babies back to back. My daughter was only 3 months old when I got pregnant with my son. I weighed about 220 when I got pregnant with my daughter. And after when I finished the pregnancy with my son, I weighed 282. Now, I weigh 225. A year has passed and I lost a considerable amount of weight. I am always upset that I can’t get down to 200 quick enough. My body is still healing after having babies back to back. It is so hard for me to get used to my new mom bod, I never weighed in the 200’s in my life and I am upset about it. Do you think I am being to hard on myself ? I take weight loss shots, and still it’s hard to shed.

I bought my daughter a Christmas Dress online and it came too small. I went and got my auntie to let it out and it fit my LO. When I was showing my dad the dress, he made a comment that the fun of things is in buying stuff in person and not online. That's what they always did. He was rolling his eyes whilst he said this. I told him that I actually enjoyed picking out my daughters Christmas dress online. Then I said 'I am starting to get irritated with your criticism and comparisons, it's annoying'. He totally brushed off my grievances and told me stop being so daft. If he had done it once or twice then fair enough but he would have small comments about feeding her, sleeping with her, playing with her, Christmas, etc... It was really beginning to ad up.

He tried to shut the conversation down and invalidate my comments but I wouldn't let him. I wanted him to listen to the fact that these little things were starting to become bigger. When I wouldn't let him brush it off he said 'Give over, I'm not your husband who will lie down and take your shit'. I was so hurt because he used something I said in a vulnerable moment and twisted it. You see, We are staying at my family home and I had opened up to my dad about how I'm struggling with postpartum and how I was getting too critical of my husband. I told my dad that I needed to step back and really re-learn to appreciate my husband.

When my dad made that comment, I squared up to him and told him never to speak about my husband or marriage that way. He actually had the audacity to roll his eyes. I called my husband and we agreed that I would leave the next morning.

Come 9am, I gave my mother my child so that I could pack the car. She was surprised as the previous days argument happened after she had went to bed.

I feel absolutely terrible about leaving my parents home, as my mother started to cry. My daughter is their first grandchild and they love her a lot.

The reason I escalated the issue to leaving was because my dad can be selfish when it comes understanding how hurtful he gets. I wanted to nip this behaviour in the butt straight away. With my dad, actions speak louder than words. In doing so, I feel absolutely gutted for my mother. My daughter and I were suppose to stay with them for a week or so more. She was bawling when I left and it really hurt having to choose between letting it go and reinforcing a boundary

Was I in the right?! Or did my hormones lead me to over react?

I’m a first time mom. I spent the last nine months with hyperemesis and the last trimester with gestational hypertension. I ended up needing an emergency c-section due to my baby not getting enough oxygen as I was having contractions. Then, I spent a week in the hospital with Postpartum preeclampsia. Now, my colostrum is drying up despite me trying every way to stimulate my nipples, pump, and latch my baby on and my milk hasn’t come in. I can’t even hand express more than a dribble. It’s been a week since she was born. I’ve had to formula feed because she had lost 9% of her body weight 3 days after birth and was jaundice. I know a fed baby is a healthy baby but I was so set on breastfeeding and I feel like a failure. I talked to my OB about it today and she was going to prescribe me a medication to help my milk come in. Well, she called me later and said that I actually can’t take it because it’s the ONE medication that I’m allergic to. I feel absolutely defeated. My baby spent around 6 hours in the NICU due to not transitioning well and she needed oxygen and a feeding tube so I didn’t get a chance to do skin to skin bonding with her after delivery. Because I was recovering from my c-section and then the preeclampsia I wasn’t able to take care of my baby like a mother should and my husband and our family did almost all of the feedings, changing her, and holding her. I feel like she doesn’t have the connection to me that everyone talks about having with their baby. It feels like she likes everyone else more than me. I have extremely bad Postpartum Anxiety and I haven’t slept more than a couple of hours in a week because I feel like if I fall asleep something bad will happen to her. I try to sleep and I just wake up with an impeding doom feeling and have to stare at her and watch her breathe so I know she’s okay. I can’t handle it. I have extremely deep stretch marks all over my stomach and an apron belly now. I hate how my body looks. I feel like it’s failed me in every aspect. I don’t know what I’m seeking from posting this but I just had to get it all out… I know I should just be happy that I “gave birth” to a beautiful baby girl. She’s absolutely perfect and I’m so in love with her. But, I can’t shake the feelings I’m having. Can anyone relate? Sorry for the long rant. I’m just really struggling.

i love him sooooooo much. he’s almost 2 weeks old. i do have moments where i look at him and almost cry & sometimes actually do cry because of how much i love him & how happy i am that he is healthy since i was formerly using pain killers in the beginning of my pregnancy and vaping ( i got clean from both & joined a program when i found out i was pregnant at 22 weeks ) he came out with no health complications and im so happy to have him home.

the thing is ive had so much anxiety since bringing him home. i reached out to my psychiatrist and he perscribed me something for it, but honestly i don’t think it’s helping. i have a follow up appointment with him next week to reassess how im feeling. nothing and i mean nothing prepared me for this level of anxiety. i’ve managed to ease some of it though, for example - when i brought him home i was soooo scared to fall asleep for the first couple of nights. i was scared i wouldn’t hear my alarm or hear him crying when it was time for a feed. even though i have my mom & partner both here to help. now i’m able to fall asleep when he sleeps because i realized if i don’t i LITERALLY cannot function. even 2-3 hour stretches of sleep is enough for me to function, but i can’t function with zero 24 hours of no sleep.

i’d be scared for anyone to swaddle him because i didn’t want it turning into a loose blanket. i don’t even swaddle him myself bc im scared, but im getting velcro swaddles and my mom has swaddled him multiple times and fell asleep and he was still wrapped tight & fine. she swaddles him with his arms out bc he doesn’t like being fully swaddled lol.

i was scared to leave my bf alone with him while my mom stepped out, bc im like what if he doesn’t hear him cry, or goes to the other room for a second , but i realized if i do all of the work my bf is never going to learn his cues and i need to give them time alone so he can learn the baby as well as i have, & so far he’s done an amazing job and hasn’t let me down.

i was scared he’d be too hot or too cold, but im like okay he’s waking up every 3 hours, if he’s too hot or cold i’ll just change him into something else. everytime i wake him up he’s fine.

i was anxious about him crying during diaper & clothing changes - now im not because i realize he’s a baby and he’s going to cry when i do those things, i just have to talk him through it & do it quick and then he’s literally fine.

i’ve eased all these anxieties on my own. yet STILL i have this overwhelming anxious feeling in my whole body and can’t pin point why. i’m starting to believe it really is my hormones because mentally i know everything is okay. he is always fed, changed & sleeps safe. i am meeting all his basic needs. these things reassure me, but my body still screams anxiety.

i’ve been so tired that whenever it’s time for me to feed him ( usually this feeling mostly happens at night or around 3am ) whenever i have the bottle in his mouth i think to myself “ i can’t wait for this to be over so i can sleep “ and i feel like SHIT about it. i’ve waited so long for my son & yet im counting down the minutes til he can go to sleep so i can as well. i feel like a bad mom for it, like i should be enjoying these moments more, like im going to regret not enjoying his newborn stage. did anyone else have this feeling ? there are times when im well rested where i feel so calm feeding him. sometimes it actually is the only thing that calms me down, i love after i burp him when i rub his back & hug him and hold him tight, i feel so much love for him. but there are other times where im like omg can he just go to bed already so i can have some sleep and quiet. i dont want to feel this way. i want to enjoy all the moments which is probably impossible but yeah.

sometimes when he’s wide awake im like ugh okay i have to read him a book or do something stimulating for his brain & i literally just don’t have the energy to. i either do it anyways or make someone else take over. but i wish i could have the feeling and energy of wanting to. i just want the best for him.

I have so much anxiety about my little one being at daycare. She has been there almost 6 weeks and every day is still a struggle for her. I get updates in the app that she is refusing naps in the crib and is fussy/emotional most of the day. I have been trying to work with the staff and I think they are doing their best but she is just challenging. She has reflux and does not sleep well on her back. I just spend all day at work thinking about her and it’s almost like I can hear her crying in the back of my mind. Any advice on how to calm those thoughts so I can actually get things done? Or advice on the daycare transition? It wasn’t this hard for my son.

I’m a FTM and my son is turning one on December 9th. While this should be a time of celebration, this past year has been incredibly overwhelming and painful. I lost my mom a year ago in December, and my small support system became nearly nonexistent.

After my C-section, I was hospitalized twice for postpartum hypertension that came out of nowhere. It was terrifying, but I thought I’d get a break afterward and finally focus on enjoying my time with my son. Instead, my son caught Covid, and we spent Christmas in the hospital—on the same ward where I had been treated for postpartum hypertension. That period was traumatizing, especially as it coincided with the first anniversary of my mom’s passing.

When my son was five months old, I went to the ER for palpitations (likely a panic attack) and a spot was found on my lung. The waiting and testing that followed pushed my nervous system into overdrive. I was convinced I had cancer—every new sensation in my body felt like confirmation of it. I was at the ER so often, terrified I had something like a brain tumor or metastasis. Thankfully, the spot turned out to be benign, but it was rare and required surgery in late June to remove part of my lung. Now I have to go for regular follow-ups, and the scan anxiety has been debilitating. My mom’s experience with metastatic breast cancer only fuels my fears.

In July, I started experiencing palpitations again and was referred to a cardiologist. I was convinced I had pulmonary hypertension and fell into another dark spiral. Thankfully, all tests, including an echocardiogram and Holter monitor, came back normal- anxiety.

Now I’m dealing with acid reflux that has triggered another wave of health anxiety. Every new symptom sends me into a spiral of worst-case scenarios. I’m terrified I won’t feel well enough to enjoy my son’s first birthday, and I desperately need this December to be free of more painful memories.

It’s hard to share these feelings with other moms because I often hear “I can’t imagine,” which makes me feel even more isolated. I’ve been in therapy, focusing on trauma, but I still feel like I don’t know who I am anymore. The health anxiety is consuming, and I’m exhausted from crying so much.

My life has been so difficult and filled with so much trauma. All I want is to be able to experience my son, to be present for him, and to give him all the love and attention he deserves.

On top of this, my relationship with my husband has been strained. It’s been painful to realize that some people can only show up during the good times and struggle when things are hard.

I’m just praying that 2025 is a year of healing, joy, and peace because I feel so overwhelmed and scared right now. I don’t want to die and leave my son.

I was hiding my PPA for so long from everyone around me. Even fudging paperwork at the doctor’s office because I was worried my kids would be taken away if they saw how bad it was. Now it has devolved into panic attacks. I have finally started therapy but really want to avoid meds. Did anyone else feel like therapy made them worse before they got better? I feel like finally letting all these feelings out and letting someone in has been really hard so far.

I'm on day 2 of starting Zoloft (25mg) for bad postpartum anxiety and some depression. I'm experiencing dizziness, agitation, and my vision feels affected / slightly blurred. Did anyone else experience these? The blurred vision probably scares me the most. Does it go away? Should I continue taking it? I will be reaching out to my doctor as well but wanted to hear other (hopefully positive) experiences. I really feel that I need this medication and now I'm scared of how I feel.

So i had my baby in March and i am currently 8 months postpartum, everything seemed completely fine this entire time up until 2 weeks ago i noticed i’ve been having a ton of anxiety. I usually never feel anxious or have panic attacks, so this is out of the ordinary for me. Like ill be sitting there and randomly get waves of anxiety and have a panic attack. Or if something’s going on with my physically that really seems to make me very anxious. Ive caught a cold, gotten a uti, and stomachache and those literally made me spiral into a panic for no reason. Id say maybe feeling some health anxiety. Or anytime ive eaten the past few weeks, once im done and full itll trigger a ton of anxiety in me. Not in an eating disorder kind of way, ill randomly just get extremely anxious after eating and not sure why. My husband said maybe i developed diabetes while being postpartum since i feel panicky after eating but that doesnt seem to make sense. Im definitely going to call my obgyn and tell them about all of this but i was wondering if anyone else feels the same. Just feeling like im going to be stuck this way forever and the anxiety attacks/ depersonalization are making me feel like im crazy 🥲

Hi Everyone! I'm a mom of a beautiful and very happy 4 month old. The first two months were great then around the end of month 2, I began having panic attacks. The type so severe that I'd get sweaty feet and hands, and had the urge to feel for my heartbeat. My heart would be racing. Even talking about it now makes me so anxious and makes me want to have a panic attack.

Before pregnancy, yes I had moments where I was anxious but never ever had a full blown panic attack. I am struggling to the point where I just feel miserable and can't get out of bed. I'm desperate for advice to help me with these attacks.

It's definitely just thoughts I have that pop in like what if something happens to me and I won't get to see my baby grow up. I am petrified and I'm sure mom's out there have that fear. But it's controlling me at this point and I'm so tired.

Going to see a primary physician tomorrow for blood work and have an OB appointment next month.

Thank you for reading, I hope all you mommas are doing good♡

This is a post about my sister. She’s struggling with PPA and probably PPD also, but she refuses to acknowledge that it’s possible for either of these to happen and she’s dealing with them. She’s convinced herself she’s “not a good mom” and by getting on medications it makes her “a bad mom”. I take Zoloft and have been on it for a few years now. So I know how much it’s really helped me. I tried to get her to talk to someone after her first baby came and she refused. So she just struggles, her milk supply is pretty well gone and because she’s not able to BF she’s “a bad mom”.

So the real question is how do I help her? Is it even worth it to try and help? I’ve tried being nice, helpful, offering to take the kids and she won’t even take help that way. I’m exhausted from constantly dealing with it. We both had babies about 6 weeks apart and I am at the end of my rope. At this point all I can come up with is tough love. And if it word vomits it’s not going to be nice 😬 helpppppp

I am 1 week PP with my 4th child and I am struggling...feeling extremely overwhelmed depressed anxious...my older kids were sick upon bringing new born home having extreme anxiety about health of baby due to this and toddler who is home with me full time. My 2 older kids are school age and I share them 50 50 with their dad from previous relationship. I feel like I am failing as a mother and have nobody to turn too. I am 1 week post c section and my fiance needs to get back to work to pay our bills (we are struggling bad) me being on maternity leave is an added stress. We have had to play serious catch up with our mortgage company and just can't seem to get ahead. I just feel like im over doing it and trying not to burden my fiance he left work today because I had a total mental breakdown from not sleeping my toddler still wakes up at night plus having the newborn now im basically up all night. My toddler has also been TERRIBLE adjusting sl far. Shes acting out so bad. I am on medication but just started after baby was born. My relationship feels like it's falling apart my life feels like it's falling apart I feel I'm failing as a mother, financially struggling. Idk what to do or how to help myself but I feel I'm dragging everyone around me down.

Besides medication and therapy (already in therapy) has anyone else learned how to control the intrusive thoughts about something always being wrong with their baby? I will literally stare at my baby while he sleeps and my brain will come up with all these insane things that could be wrong. So far it’s thought of sleep apnea, milk allergies and infantile spasms…. All because of his startle reflux and an occasional snore/grunt he does. The thoughts are completely irrational but they bring me to a full on mental breakdown sometimes.

I’m so tired and I know that doesn’t help, I was on meds before pregnancy for 8 years but it’s been so nice to be “free” of them, I’m exhausting all options before going back on them. Any advice is much loved

Yeah idk. Me and my SO met on hinge 2 years ago. We kind of instantly hit it off and have been inseparable since. In fact we got engaged fairly quickly and shortly after our engagement I had a car accident leaving me unable to walk for almost 5 months. We also discovered we were pregnant. He was amazing the entire time and took care of me in ways that nobody should even have too until we’re old and sick. I will forever be grateful for him for that.

Well our baby came in June. Everything has been great and we love him so much and our relationship has never been better honestly. Our sex life is phenomenal, our late night pillow talk is back to how it was when we were dating, we have date nights together and we text more because I’m home with the baby and he’s at work.

I am and have been suffering for quite some time with PPA. It been a little better baby wise, was hoooorrrible for the first month or two, and has now switched to other things including self image issues and my need to try to look better. I’m at my highest weight ever and as a girl who used to be able to go get her hair, nails and lashes done whenever I’m now a mom with very minimal time for myself. It’s been really hard. I’ve also been trying to loose weight bc it will make me feel better over all to be healthier, especially with what trouble I’m having with the repercussions of my injuries, that loosing the weight will make and help me get around better as a mom. (Before pregnancy 185, before birth 260lbs, now 240lbs and still going)

So lately I’ve been feeling insecure in my relationship even though everything seems good with us. A lot has happened to us in our timeframe but I know we do love each other a lot. When I think about him (prior to this all of a sudden insecurities) he makes me feel safe, loved, heard and cared for. We truly believe we’re soulmates and I wouldn’t want to do life without him. But..

The other day we took the baby to his work for a holiday thanksgiving party. He introduced me and the baby and slipped up and called me Beth. Well my middle name is Beth, but his ex girlfriend who cheated on him with his bf while they were cling togethers name is also Beth. He corrected himself super fast and seemed extremely embarrassed and I didn’t even say anything to him about it because we were at his job and I didn’t want to argue about something like that when we never argue. We always talk things out. But for some reason my PPA wouldn’t even let me bring it up. It was like if I shattered our perfect relationship with an argument about it or mentioned it I was gonna loose my mind.

Another thing, he’s been weird about my best-friend. She currently going through a break up with her baby daddy. We both love her son like our own as he spends a lot of time with us. He keeps jokingly saying after we spend the day with them that he’s been “thinking” and that he and his mother (my bff) should move in with us. He says it jokingly as if he just wants them to do that bc he loves her kid but the amount of times he brings it up is starting to bother me. He also said something recently like it’s fine ik you guys love each other y’all can get married to each other and I’ll just marry you. Like no I don’t want to live and be with just you and not another woman thanks! Even tho I know he’s kidding it rubs me the wrong way??

Idk outside of all of this like I said has been great. We want another baby, he doesn’t even want to wait lol, and we want to get on with our plans to get married. He really is my bestfriend. Our families are planing to spend the holidays together and I’m just upset w myself for not just speaking up and letting myself fester in this way. Idk why it’s happening and it’s very unlike me. I think I’d I brought both of these things up hed be kinda shocked?

Idk I just need advice and someone to talk this through w who is unbiased. Maybe someone who understands or has also had PPA or anxiety.

We were both in really long relationships before eachother. Not ones that were good either. His ex cheated like I said and mine might have as he ended up with one of my ex bestfriends as well, so I think that that might have to do something with how I’m feeling as well. My ex and my ex bff getting together was a shock early into my pregnancy and I know I prob shouldn’t have cared but I was just taken aback that they could do that after being friends (10 years) and my bf (8 years) for so long… I think that I really felt blindsided and thought I knew my ex better than that and it’s seeping into this relationship. Like am I really just that bad at knowing peoples trie intentions when two very prominent relationships of mine ended and then they ended up together. Idk

I feel sick lol. Someone help I feel crazy

I wanted to make a list of my intrusive thoughts and experiences/other anxious thoughts that I had when I was going through PPA. I had a lot of anxious thoughts throughout my pregnancy as well even very early on. I think if I had read this sooner I would have gotten help sooner. I saw a lot of intrusive thoughts posts (mostly on IG) that mentioned they were normal. I was missing the understand that yes they’re normal but they are NOT supposed to scare you. Anyways, I hope this helps someone. I hope this makes you feel less alone.

•I thought my doctor would think I was an idiot for dressing my daughter in all pink when she was born.

•I was embarrassed that I was holding and cuddling my baby in the hospital and my doctor saw me

•on the nights when I rocked my daughter to sleep at night I could hear my husband cleaning up dinner or doing dishes. I convinced myself it was someone who snuck into our house and was murdering my husband and those were the sounds I was hearing.

•my daughter was 3 months old but was manipulative and hated me and was trying to hurt me

•someone would break into my daughters window and take her. I bought alarms and locks and spent a lot of time thinking of ways to prevent this.

•I was rocking my grandmothers dead body to sleep. This one really terrified me

•I was at the grocery store once by myself and panicked and couldn’t remember that my baby was at home with my husband. I thought I lost her

•everyone in the parking lot was trying to steal my baby while I was putting groceries away. I actually broke something on my vehicle by trying to keep the cart as close to me as possible

•the classic my baby couldn’t breathe / was very sick / etc

•I thought that I put my baby in the oven instead of dinner - I can clearly see I didn’t though! But gosh what if I did put her in the oven.

•every little noise startled me to the core. Out on walks I would hear a car drive by and it would scare me to tears. I would feel startled so deep in my gut.

I feel like the worst mother to ever exist. I feel so sad. So hopeless. I just want to dissolve. I do not feel one shred of happiness. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t have it very hard. I should be able to do this. My mental health has taken a nosedive over the last week and I feel like no one in my life is taking me seriously. My mom tells me to pray and that I’m not trying hard enough to be positive. My husband says he can’t understand why on earth I can be depressed when we have such a perfect little girl. I’m calling the GP when my baby wakes up but I doubt I’ll be able to get through. I don’t know what to do. I hate feeling like this. This is so wrong. What kind of mother am I? I really feel like my daughter would have a better life if I just leave her and her dad and go live by myself somewhere. I don’t want her growing up like me.

I was in a PHP (partial hospitalization program) and now am in an IOP (intensive outpatient program) for pretty severe PPD and PPA. Thankfully my husband was able to take FMLA and stay home. But his FMLA is running out and he is supposed to go back to work at the beginning of December. It’s looking like I will still need to stay in the IOP beyond that - probably until the end of January. Has anyone had to have their husband stay home beyond paternity leave/FMLA? I can’t stay in the IOP if he goes back to work because I don’t have anyone else that can watch our daughter. I don’t think I’m ready to be done with the IOP because my depression and anxiety have finally stopped getting worse but I kind have just leveled out. I’m hoping things now start to improve, but I want to stay in the IOP to make sure that happens. TIA for anyone who has any info they can share!

Hello,

I have a wonderful baby girl, who I feel very close to and protective of (in what feels healthy to me).

But, my anxiety is getting out of control! Is this a hormonal thing, or the result of feeling unsupported?

For context, all I need/want (and it’s been the same since before I gave birth) is the house chores done and ready to eat groceries/meals stocked in the fridge. I had my baby 6 months ago and this hasn’t happened once (even though everyone offers to ‘help’ and I comfortably tell them chores and food helps the most).

I feel like I’m going a little crazy at this point: a few examples: my in-laws are ‘desperate to help’, they agreed to help in this way, but have visited at least 20 times and not once brought ready to eat food. They once brought a can of beans and a packet of tofu. Another times they came over to cook for me, and spend 5 hours making a lunch (I asked them to drop off home cooked food, not stay for 5 HOURS!), and they literally did not even leave me leftovers because I was busy breastfeeding when it was time to eat. They also only cleaned up after themselves, as in only washed the plates they used and left the other dishes that were there before they arrived.

Another example is: my sister moved in rent free specially to help! She’s been here for one month so far, hasn’t cleaned or cooked once… I’m now cleaning up after her and buying her food!

I feel anxious and crazy! Am I? Am I expecting too much?

Hi! I am 9 months postpartum and have been struggling with extreme anxiety and a touch of OCD. I have never had issues with OCD before, and have rarely had much anxiety before pregnancy. Since having my baby, the anxiety has been so bad somedays that’s it’s nearly crippling and I found that I hyper focus on things (did I lock the door before I left, did I turn the oven off, triple checking things, etc). I have medication for days it’s extremely bad, but don’t like taking it much since it makes me so groggy the next day. I’ve tried other medications in the past that didn’t work either. Does this get better down the road? Are there any weird “remedies” that have helped anyone? I workout consistently, tried journaling, therapy, and meditation. Those things have helped a little. I think I’m also looking for confirmation that this is happens to other moms and that it gets better… Thanks everyone!

I feel so sad looking back on my baby’s first year. I’ve found it so, so difficult. All I ever wanted was to be a mom so I feel completely blindsided and let down by how low, anxious and overwhelmed I’ve been feeling. I’m from the US but moved to the UK six years ago. Since the pandemic my mental health has slowly been declining. I haven’t been able to put down roots in the way I wanted: I still don’t feel like I have any of my own people here. And being so far from my own family and friends has only added to the isolation that all new parents feel to some degree.

We also had a loss before I got pregnant with my daughter. I’m disgusted with myself that gratitude isn’t enough to make me feel like I’m a good mom. I feel like my daughter deserves so much better than me. She’s missed out on so many things because I’ve been too anxious to leave the house and disrupt her routine. Sometimes when she naps or is asleep at night I’m wired and can’t rest because I’m constantly anticipating her to wake up.

I don’t understand how I’m feeling worse instead of better. I’m finally getting therapy and am also exploring the possibility that I have PMDD—my cycles are so irregular but I feel the most extreme anxiety when my period is about to come. I just straight up don’t enjoy being a mom sometimes and it makes me feel so shitty and awful. My husband gets so frustrated with me and doesn’t understand my anxiety. He thinks I’m just not trying hard enough but it’s all in my body: I physically feel like I’m about to die over the smallest things.

My therapist believes that I likely have GAD and depression that’s been exacerbated by giving birth. It makes so much sense and I’m looking forward to hopefully getting to the bottom of what’s going on and learn how to manage it. I don’t want anyone else to be in this position but if your anxiety is worsening instead of improving, you’re not alone, and please get the help you and your baby/babies deserve ❤️

I’m struggling with accepting the “support” I have from my mom who bus 51 years old and I am 29 years old. I recently just had my third child 13 days ago and with a lot that has gone on this past year with a pregnancy and job change and many more things I made the Decision to move back to my hometown to have my Third child. Now the plans changed rapidly due to some really unfortunate circumstances of people not being honest but it’s okay I have my mother to lean on. We haven’t always had the best of relationships but when I decided I was going to start having children at 25 I fraught for a relationship with my mom. I guess I just want to know if she’s being mean or if I’m being sensitive I do suffer from Anxiety and BPD and have had PPD really bad with my two older children but honestly if you have ever had a baby the bounce back is different and takes time for you to get back to fully functioning. I hate to ramble but of course my main concern is every time I have had a doctors appointment for my Daughter I get myself and all three kids ready I take the longest of course to shower and every time I do shower my Mother hits me with the remark of words why do you take so long or you took forever in there. I’m at a loss of words cause I just had a baby it’s hard for me to still move some parts of my body. I guess initially after being home two days and having to get ready was a lot and everyday is with three kids and moving around I just want to know is she just taking a dog at me or am I just being sensitive to those words. I’m just trying to avoid any trigger to PPD.

I'm a F(23) SAHM and just had my son 4 months ago. I've always been an independent person, I hate being helped or pitied. My family was very antisocial growing up, I saw my mom's parents a few times a week but that was pretty much it, we didn't see my dads family except maybe 3 times a year. Nobody came over to our house and I wasn't allowed to spend the night anywhere. I hate when people tell me things I already knew. I have pretty bad preexisting anxiety, but I somehow function somewhat normally. I've been like this my entire life. My MIL was definitely expecting to be a larger part of my sons life. My husband (27) says they were always at somebody's house every weekend, he lived with his grandparents for like a month just because. Both his mom and his dad's sides would get together at their house for bbqs and what not, it would have been like 25 people, probably more. He spent the night at all kinds of different people's houses. Both sets of grandparents watched him and his siblings frequently. MIL is also definitely going through some shit, her and my FIL divorced several years ago. She's a boy mom to 5 boys. Idk if her new husband doesn't give her attention or what but she's always going on about missing her boys being little and nobody needs her anymore and she's always trying to get them together and she gets all bent out of shape if you can't. She says it's fine, but you can tell it really makes her sad. My husband and I have already decided we aren't leaving our son anywhere for a while, and we're probably not ever doing sleepovers. She doesn't know that yet, that'll be a whole other ordeal. My son has severe reflux that I've been trying to get under control for 4 months, and if you've had a baby with reflux you know it's awful and so stressful. Other than that he's the perfect baby, super sweet and happy when he's not in pain. So I don't really feel like visiting my needy MIL. I don't have the energy to deal with her anymore, I can't even fake liking her anymore. I can't look at pictures of her when she pops up on facebook. She was texting relentlessly, sending tik toks of grandma's playing with their babies and saying "maybe someday I'll get to be like this with Noah", texting that were "holding him hostage". And now she's posting pictures of him on facebook side by side with a picture of my brother in law saying "I think we can all see the resemblance" but throwing in that he has my eyes. I get it, but DILs don't want to hear about how their baby is a carbon copy of yours. I responded to a passive aggressive text the other day saying I just needed to be left alone for a while. She understood, or at least said she did. Then my BIL posted a picture of him when he came over for 15 minutes to help my husband with something, and that's when she plastered it on facebook (without asking, i don't care that much but still) telling everyone he looks just like her sons. I hate her. I don't want to hate her at all, she means well (or at least did before all the comments and facebook stuff) and i know she's being snooty because she thinks I'm keeping him from her to be an asshole. But i literally cannot stand to see her, hear about her, and I definitely don't want to visit or have her anywhere near my house. I don't want him going anywhere without me for a while, so my husband visiting and me staying home is not happening. My husband won't talk to her. I hate myself for being so hateful and I want them to have a relationship but I can't get over it or even fake it. And now LO is starting a sleep regression and I'm going to be even more irritable with less sleep in addition to reflux. Idk what I'm hoping to get from this, and of you've made it this far thank you for reading. I'm going to go to the Dr once I have insurance and tell them what's going on, but that might be a few weeks. Idk what to do in the meantime. Hubby loves me and says he's gonna help me through it, God bless him. But i don't want to be like this for his and my sons sake. I know I'm partially in the wrong, I think its a lot of miscommunication too, but she's so emotional that we know telling her we don't want to see her so much would be a whole thing (and I don't want to see her at all for while because it just makes me worse). I love my son so much, I was made to be a mama. I was not made, however, to be a part of a big social family. I don't know how to fix my hatred.

Yesterday, I was at the gas station and was checking out when a woman looked at me and my 8 weeks old premie baby and said “is this your first?” I said yes, beaming with joy. Then she said “waited a little long to have your first, didn’t you?”

I’m 29.

What the fuck compels people to make such weird comments? For the record, I do not look older than my age. I look like an average 29 year old I would say, and everyone I’ve asked agrees that I do not look “old.” I laughed it off because it was just such a weird thing to say.

I'm considering weaning and have seen mixed responses. Did it help with your PPA or make it worse?

Hi everyone! I’m conducting research for my doctoral dissertation on postpartum mental health, and I'm looking for participants who've given birth in the past year. If that’s you, I’d be so grateful if you could spare 5 to 8 minutes to take a completely anonymous survey. Your input can make a real difference in advancing our understanding of postpartum mental health challenges.

If you know someone who might be interested, feel free to share this with them. Thank you so much for your time and support! 🙏

Survey Link: http://redcap.link/afhcwv8f