My ex was addicted to porn. I was anally raped by him as I laid passed out at 17. He took videos of it. I never knew it happened until he joked about how we’ve done anal. I was confused but had a weird feeling and dropped it. I went through his phone, looked on his snap memories and watched him do multiple sex acts with my limp body. When I told him he raped me he argued and argued he didn’t.

I fully explained how he raped me and he cried.

He cried. I never cried. I just floated away from it mentally. I felt like that girl I watched was not me. I guess I am happy that I was passed out.

I truly believe this would never have occurred if it wasn’t for pornography. Yes, he is a gross individual. However, where did he concoct the idea to do this, that is was okay, and it was somehow normal.

I’m 24 now, and think about this occasionally. I wonder who he sent those to. I wonder if they’re posted anywhere. I truly feel like he did this because he corrupted his mind with pornography.

I just wanted to put this somewhere. I feel like many of you will understand or have been violated by a man who was so corrupted he did not think what he did was wrong.

Thanks for reading.

i obviously don’t support either as i believe the sex industry is bad in all ways—but it really bothers me how many men hate on women who do sex work and call them undatable with no self respect and then turn around and consume porn. it literally shows how they view sex workers as objects solely for their pleasure. it is extremely hypocritical, like you are seriously hating on women who are the content you consume? and usually these women are victims🤦‍♀️

New here.

Only just learned about how awful porn is (never engaged in pornography before finding this subreddit so that's good I can have a clear conscious on that front.)

I have a question, why do people even watch porn, why don't they just use their imagination?

i feel so infuriated and sick knowing that people who think like this are on campus.

how could you disrespect the sacredness of marriage like this? not to mention these porn addicted men taking images of random women and writing these gross, hateful, and objectifying captions. i hate it here.

And not even speaking from an ethical point of view, which has been thoroughly discussed. I mean, you have a woman in your life with whom you have sexual relations, who is supposed to attract you, you are in love with her, you like her... and you masturbate to pornography? Even without looking at it from an ethical point of view... It seems really strange to me

Why wouldn't you prefer to masturbate thinking about the sex you have with your partner? Doesn't your partner turn you on more than a random porn actress in a video? Remember the sensations you have during sex with your partner isn't much better?

I don't know, but without a doubt, if I were a woman, this would be another reason (beyond moral/ethical reasons) why I would never be with someone who watches porn. Not to mention that just the fact of watching porn while in a relationship seems like addict behavior to me in that sense

Can someone also explain to me what is the reasoning of these people to justify watching porn while in a relationship? It's something that I've never quite understood. At most, I saw a guy commenting that 'you don't always feel like the same thing,' but it just doesn't seem the same to me. For me, my partner is the person who turns me on the most in the world, and obviously in that sense, they will always be the first one that comes to mind. Isn't it the same for others?

I have always been very confused in that sense, do people really not see their partner as the person who turns them on the most in the world? (even speaking in general, both women and men)

I don't know, if I were a woman, I would feel like my boyfriend has a relationship with me and with 5 more porn actresses

I have avoided speaking from an ethical point of view because I see that most of the posts are directed in that direction, and I would simply like a post speaking from another point of view, that in my opinion, it is degrading for oneself to have a boyfriend who watches porn

It's just so misogynistic and really shows how little they think of us as humans, as mothers, as daughters and as sisters... Especially when father/son or brother fantasies don't exist.. Because women just don't find incest to be sexy EVER!

At some point in my life I also used to watch porn very often, but thanks to subreddits like this I learned how violent it is and how much it could affect my still developing brain. But unfortunately it didnt happen to my best friend that is seriously addicted to it, to the point that it affects his everyday life. We just started highschool and he doesnt seem to stop talking about wanting to have sex again after he had broken up with his 10th girlfriend this month. He also puts sexual undertones on EVERYTHING, even though the subject isnt even sexual. At first, I found it funny because haha dick but now im getting tired of it and im getting seriously worried about him. His relationships never lasted more than 1 month because of his porn brainrot, but he doesnt understand that its caused by it. Im not silent about it, and I often point out that hes addicted, but he doesnt take it seriously and gets mad at me. Its not like he watches it 3 times a week or smth, he watches it TWICE a day, even while eating, like a fking youtube video. His parents dont care about him, and I dont know how to help.

I am at that point in life where I feel so agitated when people try to justify porn use and say it's healthy. I mean, it's bad effects are so obvious. Why don't people agree it's detrimental? I was reading a report by BBC where they said it's okay to watch porn once in a while or for recreational purposes. I don't know why people don't see its bad effects of porn on men, women, and relationships. Why they act they're blind.

After sex with my boyfriend he mentioned how he never had a sexual partner request to change positions or be communicative about sexual discomfort like I do. He wasn’t bothered by it but just something he noticed. It’s normal to feel comfortable in a position one day then the next day not because our bodies change and the position of our cervix varies throughout our cycle. It’s normal for backshots to hurt when you’re nearing your period because your cervix is lower. Most women are used to sitting through pain in sex due to feeling and about stopping or communicating. I believe this is influenced by porn because porn actresses don’t voice discomfort and are supposed to be submissive and performative of how much they’re enjoying the sex. I used to be super performative and endure so much pain, sexual violence, etc because I felt like I was supposed to. Porn groomed me and many other to feel like i wasn’t supposed to say how I actually felt because his pleasure matters more. With my boyfriend I’ve been prioritizing my own pleasure more and saying no when it doesn’t feel good or not satisfying. It’s been a process because I keep apologizing for wanting to stop and try something else and I feel annoying but my bf is very sweet and tells me not to apologize (HOW IT SHOULD BE).

I can't even begin to express how devastated I am. My boyfriend and I have been together for a while now, and in the beginning, it felt like we had the perfect relationship. We were emotionally and physically close, and I thought I had found my soulmate. But then, out of nowhere, he started pulling away. He rejected my physical advances and became emotionally distant. I was prepared to break up with him because every conversation we had ended with him saying he wasn't feeling it and didn't know when his libido would come back, if ever. But in March, we finally had a conversation, and that's when he confessed to struggling with a porn addiction. He acknowledged that it was destroying our relationship and expressed his desire to fix it. It shattered me to know that he was rejecting me for women who weren't even real. I feel completely broken inside. I love him, but I don't know how to work through this or how to move forward. All the trust and what our relationship used to be is gone. I don't judge him, but the emotional pain I'm experiencing is making it incredibly difficult for me to focus at work. I'm lost and hurting.

How do I cope? How do I try to regain the relationship we had?

I did a deep dive into some statistics and came away flabbergasted that men aren’t choosing the bear. They should be, 100% of the time. The biggest factor men are failing to see is there’s zero chance the bear might try to fuck you.

To REALLY even the score, men need to realize the man they’ll be in the woods with is bigger, stronger, taller, and faster than they are. That’s fair because that’s the case for most women with most men. Testosterone is a hell of a drug and even a smaller, shorter, weaker man is WAY stronger than a big athletic woman. Above all, men need to know that there is a high statistical likelihood the strange man sees them as fuckable, he’s quite possibly horny, and no one will ever know what this random man does alone in the deep woods where no one can hear you scream.

The question doesn’t imply that the bear is mad at you, it’s just a bear doing bear things. Obviously the bear doesn’t want to fuck you and literally never would. Given the choice between a mad bear and a mad human the bear is still a better choice because it’ll just brutally maim you or you’ll face a quick death. The bear isn’t going to get creative with psychological and physical torture simply because it can.

Statistically, a male human is the most dangerous creature on the face of the planet. On average, bears in the US (and we have gnarly fucking bears here) kill only one person per year. “Nationwide, 1,795 females were murdered by males in single victim/single offender incidents in 2019” - that’s just shy of 5 women killed by men EVERY SINGLE DAY. Is it likely either creature will kill us? No. The man just WAY more likely to harm us than the bear is. AND THE BEAR DOESNT SEE US AS FUCKABLE!!!!!!

If anything, what this social experiment shows us the most is that men are absolutely atrocious at statistics and risk assessment. It’s stupid to choose the man, the bear is an overwhelmingly obvious choice even for men. Let’s look at some stats and, for the sake of discussion, pretend that unsolved violent crimes and murder don’t exist.

“There was a total of 21,156 reported homicide cases in the U.S. in 2022. When looking at murder victims by gender and ethnicity, the vast majority were male, while just over half of victims were African American. In addition, homicide victims in the United States were found most likely to be between the ages of 20 and 34 years old, with the majority of victims aged between 17 to 54 years old.” https://www.statista.com/statistics/195331/number-of-murders-in-the-us-by-state/

“According to the data given by the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime, worldwide, 79% of homicide victims are men, and in 193 of the 202 listed countries or regions, men were more likely to be killed than women.” https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homicide_statistics_by_gender

Victims of violent crime are, surprisingly, just as likely to be men as they are women. It’s practically a 50/50 split. https://www.statista.com/statistics/423245/us-violent-crime-victims-by-gender/

Every single man who is mad at our response is bad at statistics, absolutely atrocious at risk assessment, and is ignoring the fuckability component. EVERYONE should be choosing the bear. They are also shooting themselves in the foot by even more deeply reinforcing why we pick the bear in the first place. At least the bear doesn’t take it personally and get irrationally enraged if you pick the man. THE GREATEST THREAT OF VIOLENCE MEN FACE IS FROM OTHER MEN.

In closing, let’s be real, no real man would get angry at a woman for choosing the bear. Only a boy in an adult body would and they should know their opinion matters the least of all. Real men respect women.

Hi guys, you may have already seen something similar posted on r/antipornography but I thought it would be a good idea to get more insight on here

I study Sociology and Criminology and I was thinking on writing my thesis on pornography and how particularly lesbians and East Asian women are portrayed and affected by it - basically the fetishization of these two demographics

I’m struggling to come up with specific and distinct research questions, as I’ve seen my peers have very precise aims and objectives and mine feel a little broader?

As for the actual research, I was thinking of gathering data from various porn sites (categorising porn titles under Lesbian and Japanese for example, and looking at intersecting themes) as well as conducting anonymous questionnaires on the type of porn or online sexualization people have come across

Any feedback is greatly appreciated :))

So I’m (21F) posting here because I’ve tried to discuss similar topics in general relationship groups, but it’s always just a bunch of brainwashed men telling me IM the problem.

I was aware that my boyfriend (22M) watches porn for majority of our relationship, I’ve been with him for 6 years and a few years in he did tell me he watches it and asked if I did, which I told him that I didn’t (I’ve tried to before, but when I saw how women are depicted in it, I was almost sick to my stomach, I just can’t get turned on by that stuff, I find it disturbing). I don’t like to hear about him talk about it, I don’t like the mental image I get of him masturbating to it, so I choose to avoid the topic altogether.

Last night my phone died and my accidentally left my charger at a friends house earlier that day, so before he went to bed I asked if I could use his phone to scroll through social media (I have my accounts set up on his phone on stuff like ig, Facebook etc so I can quickly switch out of his accounts and go onto my own)

Scrolled on instagram for a while, and decided I wanted to scroll through Reddit for a bit. He was logged in. His recent searches and home page were filled with hentai, he seemed to be exclusively on Reddit for the purpose of looking at hentai. It’s all pictures with EXTREMELY exaggerated boobs, hip widths and MASSIVE butts. It made me feel super insecure. I am by no means curvy at all. I weigh just over 100lbs. I started to question if he was even really attracted to my body if this is the shit he chooses to look at. How on Earth can I compete with something that’s not even real?

I’ve tried dropping subtle hints to him to be like “do you think I need to gain some weight?”, and that I “wish I was curvier.” He just always says that he likes me just the way I am, but that even if I did gain another 10,20,30 lbs he says I would still look good to him. But I don’t know if he’s just telling me that so I don’t feel bad.