This is the 2nd hospital visit they need to stop I just lost a FP and I’m barely ok as is… it’s bruising fast 😂 ahhh aand fhe baker act? Like never again

My husband and I have been fighting a lot lately. He is a veteran with PTSD and years ago while he was AD on a deployment he told me he was feeling depressed and I messed up and told my friend (a fellow spouse) that he said that. She told her husband who told someone and anyways my husband didn’t want it getting around. I guess at that time i didn’t fully understand what he was going through and just figured he was feeling down and didn’t know the seriousness of anything bc he didn’t really elaborate on how he was feeling and everything that he was going through. So he has lost all trust and won’t talk to me about anything. Fast forward, now we have two kids, he’s out of the military and we are having issues. I’m feeling a lot of anger towards him bc he doesn’t help with very much and I’m constantly stressed and overwhelmed with everything. He’s upset that I treat him like he’s a regular person that doesn’t have PTSD and I don’t understand what he goes through. Our youngest 2M is a handful. He’s constantly stressing me out. Doesn’t listen, laughs in my face when I’m trying to discipline him and he’s just hard to handle. My husband sometimes helps me with him but there’s times where I’m just so exhausted and the times that I just need him the most to just take him or just get the kids to bed by himself without my help, he won’t. Or he’ll do it one day and then if I ask him another day he’ll say “I did it that one day” even though I’ve done it say 3 or so days with zero help from him it’s like he does it once and he’s in the clear for awhile. I have my own issues too. Obviously not as bad as his. I grew up in a hoarder home so I never really learned to clean, never grew up with a cleaning routine or anything and the house was FILTHY. So I really struggle to keep the house clean and he knows how I grew up, he’s seen what my parents house looked like (we met when I was 19 and I was still living at home) I don’t want our kids growing up like I did but I’m having a really hard time with all these responsibilities with almost no help. Here’s another example of something he did that caused a lot of anger from me. I asked him to watch the kids so I could do the dishes bc the sink was gross full of dishes that had been there for a while. He said no bc it would take too long. All he really does is play video games when he’s home. But despite how much he plays and I usually try not to complain about it, he’ll still sometimes complain that he doesn’t get to play, and I’m just like wtf?? You are always playing! I don’t get it. Unless he means like he wants to play like for 12+ hours?? Idk. He’s saying I don’t care that he has PTSD but I truly don’t know what he goes through and I’m having a very hard time bc I just feel so much anger that I have to deal with so much stuff all on my own and I feel like I’m drowning and it’s like bc he doesn’t trust me to talk to me, my perspective is just him coming home and just going to the bedroom and playing games and complaining if I ask him to watch the kids if I need to do something or just refusing to watch them. And it’s really frustrating bc I’m asking him to watch them so I can do housework, not to run off to a friend’s house, or go get my nails done or something. I really just don’t know what to do. I feel like this is just what my life is going to be like forever but idk how to deal with him especially since he won’t talk to me about anything. I want to start seeing a therapist myself but idk how to even start that process. Do I need a referral from my PCP? Or do I just look one up and call and make an appointment?

My husband’s PTSD has been out of control. He has been talking about the universe giving him the answers he needs and is listening to gateway tapes? Does anyone have experience with this? He doesn’t want to get conventional help for his PTSD and I am not sure what I can do at this point. He had an episode this week and was acting crazy and my daughter compared his eyes to the movie the shining. We have never seen him like this before. Of course I am to blame for all of his behaviors. When I say I want my husband back he says things like that person is dead. This is the new version of him. How can I get him to seek help? This is out of control.

I am a high school student conducting research on the effectiveness of Virtual Reality (VR) therapy in comparison to the traditional approach of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). This survey is designed for individuals who have PTSD and have undergone either CBT, VR therapy, or both. This to gather insights into their experiences and outcomes. The survey will take around 15 minutes, can you please fill do my survey.

Link - https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScbh4XgVurOEArJPWIf5sR94Buf6o2pws7_XcNgvGPUxHfALA/viewform?usp=sf_link

There is a way out. Seek out Ayahuasca. Get there. Godspeed brothers and sisters.

I suppose just how the title reads.

From any caregivers, does it get better?

My spouse is still AD (18+ years) he's not getting help and won't for reasons that are his, but God Knows Ive tried. I'm struggling with my role as a caregiver. He's not violent or volitale but he's not a good partner and a moderately okay parent.

I empathize that I don't understand what he's going through. I've already been "toughing it out" for years and my biggest fear is what happens after his military service ends?

Will it get better? I can't imagine it would. I vasilate between the dutiful wife and running for the hills because what if it doesn't get better?

I'm in therapy, I'm work alanon when I can, I've had an offer for a spouses therapeutic retreat that I'm considering, but it all seems fruitless if things don't get better.

Husband is a combat veteran with PTSD. Left suddenly with no warning. I am absolutely devastated. I have cared for him for so many years and I am having a hard time without him. He says he has no emotions for me anymore. He has shut me out completely. I feel so pathetic to have begged him to come home and he is done with me. He said everything is my fault. He had an affair at work but said it was just emotional and nothing happened. He downplays it and I’m the crazy person. I don’t understand. He says because of my own anxiety. I didn’t think my anxiety was affecting him. I apologized, I’ve made changes in my life but he said it’s too late. My anxiety I felt was due to my own issues but also having all the responsibilities of the household and no support from him. I never complained and took everything on because I understood my role as a wife with someone who has PTSD. I have given everything to this man. I work my ass off to help provide for our family. I love him deeply. Sex is amazing. I cook clean and take care of everything. Yet I’m not enough? I loved him with everything I had to give and he just kicked me out of his life like I was nothing. He says I’m his best friend and he loves me deeply but his actions show I am nothing to this man. I don’t know why he married me to just abandon me. Please help me understand so I can move on with my life.

Hey everyone, I was diagnosed with complex ptsd and made a video on how I was able to recover from it after years of drugs and alcohol to cope. Mine is not from combat but the principles of EMDR should work for combat. I was a wildland firefighter and have seen many deaths but mine is mostly from abusive dad and an older sister that did something sexual to me when I was little I didn’t know how to deal with

My YouTube Process | How I Cured PTSD With Zoloft, Sobriety, And EMDR https://youtu.be/GfNBegN4Aio

Not sure how to say this so I’ll just ask bluntly… how do you reach out for help and not burden your friends with what they’re likely to think is a trauma dump?

Recipient of the “C-PTSD” label and been holding that hot coal in my hand for 40+ years. 24 years of active duty in there too along with my fair share of seeing the worst side of humanity in war and peace… lost far more friends in peace — before and after — than I ever did in Iraq or Afghanistan. Multiple traumatic events are often just playing on an endless repeating cycle in the background of my consciousness… sometimes it’s louder and more vivid but it’s always there. It’s always playing.

Was retired from the Army for several years before I ever sought help. Could never take that step in uniform for all the wrong reasons.

Met a Purple Heart Marine after moving to our retirement town to continue raising our young family. He was the guy I could call middle of the night when I can’t sleep because the fuck-it monster has invaded my darkest thoughts. And I was the guy he could call middle of the night…

My Marine buddy died from sudden cardiac arrest a few weeks back. I’ve wanted to call him a few times but he’s not answering anymore…

Lots of friends say I can call them anytime, but can’t help but feel that may not be true. At the very least, I never had to explain the military side of shit to my Marine.

So… advice? How to find someone who can understand? Someone who will answer the phone at 3am?

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I was with the 59th out of mycholaev through the territorial defense from April til August, when I was told the contract o signed wasn't valid, and my visa was up. I was told I could go back to ternopil and wait for immigration, which I did for a couple weeks. But my mh was unwinding and immigration was taking their sweet fuckin time, so I left.

Idfk.

When I got back from Afghanistan all my brothers came back with me. And I had 6 months to unwind before becoming a civilian again.

Smoked my last Ukrainian cig today and... Still ain't taken off my dogtags. Still ain't home. Still got friends over there. One of em took some tank shrapnel about a month ago. He lived.

I just..fuck. I know I did my part, as much as I could.

But knowing I couldn't do more. I was too weak to stay.

I didn't plan on coming back.

I just...I'm lost. Idk wtf I'm trying to say.

Why the fuck am I still here I'm not supposed to be.

Now what.

I was driving home from running some errands just another normal day. Everything has been fine for a long time and I would dare say it has has been fucking great maybe the best I have been since getting out in 2012. I was driving past this suv and I looked over and just happened to see an army license plate. When I was passing in the right lane I noticed the passenger rolled the window down and was laying her arm out the window and I flipped out. I fucking gunned it and got up to like 80 in a 25 I was so worried they were going to see how fucking bad I was losing it! And I fucking utterly lost I drove a few mile and pulled off the road to try and catch my breath but couldn't. I made it home spent the whole night trying to calm down but I'm still on edge.

It's been 26 hours I'm weak from shaking and I feel so dehydrated. I stared at the the sheets all night last night. My wife keeps telling me how much better I look but I feel so much worse.

I called the crisis line but it didn't do anything. I am grounded enough to know it's ohio but not enough to stop this feeling

Hello everyone! I'm hoping someone can point me in the right direction.

Quick Backstory

My SO of over a decade is a combat veteran. We met several months after he was medically discharged in 2007, so I was never part of his military life so to speak. However, I have been his support system since he left the military. He has PTSD and various medical issues that are combat related.

My Question

I do not have anyone in my life that is in a relationship with a disabled combat veteran. I love my friends but they don't understand the journey I've had. I've looked for a subreddit that would be a fit for me and this has been the best one so far. I'm looking to find others that share in my experience. I would also like to be able help others on a similar life path. I want to discuss struggles, experiences, things that help, resources and such. It's been a lonely journey so far that no one in my life understands. Is this the best subreddit for this or is there another one that would be a better fit?

Hey. I am looking for any advice anyone has to spare. My significant other has just decided to start getting help which I think is great. But I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions as to how to be a good partner with all of this and any advice on what to expect through the process. Thank you

my bf got really drunk last night and just kinda word vomited his time and experiences in afghanistan and his time in the marine corps. i just sat there and listened because what can i say or do about it. the only thing i was able to do was throw in a joke or tease him like when he told me about having a grenade launcher that he never got the chance to use. anyways, the point is he is clearly struggling with his time their but also the…slowness? of being home. i’m not really sure what i can do to support him without also stepping on his toes because 99% of the stories are just over my head and i don’t really stand a chance in hell at understanding any of it. but i’m grateful he is at least trusting me with the stuff in his head since i’ve seen the annoyance and anger at people asking about his time as a marine.

First off, I'll talk to the VSO again now that I have an update, but looking for anyone who has had to file a letter of disagreement before.

Just received my updated PTSD rating from 10% (adjustment disorder) to 30% (PTSD). I have multiple symptoms from the 50 and 70% levels but they've decided that 30% is the correct amount. Frankly, I wish they'd have just called me to tell me to get fucked but guess the packet pretty much does that.

Both the VSO and the Therapist were confident that I'd be rated high, strictly based on what they've seen and what they've documented, as well as information provided by military friends and a family member that's a Dr, as well as providing the narrative for valor award in combat. I felt optimistic as I felt reassured that due to my inability to maintain consistent employment due to abrasiveness and inability to handle the garbage low-wage jobs that are all I seem to be able to apply and get.

I was wrong, again, I feel as though I've fallen through the cracks because I'm not yelling and screaming at every person in the VA, or not in inpatient treatment regularly. I'm not sure what the answer is but, needless to say, I am beginning to understand how people distrust the institutions that are there to "help" them.

Disenfranchisement is the word that comes to mind, why is it that every interaction with the VA has to be a fight, almost feels more worth just hiring a law firm and going about it that way as the DAV doesn't have the weight to throw around.

Guess I'm mostly just angry at the situation, god damn, I'm so tired of fighting, at least with deployment you have the opportunity to see who you're dealing with. FUCK bureaucracy.

Just wondering if others have had to appeal or send a letter of disagreement, or had to use a law firm to finally be heard correctly?

Sidebar note, at the C&P they asked if I was suicidal, I've so little trust that it's always easier to say no, guess I should have said yes no matter what the actual case was eh?

I deployed to Afghanistan in 12-13. I didn’t see as much as others have so I mostly keep my mouth shut but honestly I don’t know how to handle this and it’s scaring me. I feel like I am losing my sanity.

I thought I had my ptsd for the most part under control. That is until I moved to a bad neighborhood because that’s all I can afford. After the first shooting that was literally feet from my door step I started hearing things. It started off small. Like people walking by when no one was there. Then I heard shooting when my roommate wouldn’t. Then I thought there was an earth quake… but apparently I’m the only one who felt the ground moving.

I figured this was because of my time in Afghanistan and if I can rationalize why I am going through something then I am comfortable with it because I can use my exercises to address that and pull me out of that state.

Then one night I heard a small knocker on one of my doors creek from being lifted, and then of course the small tap from it being dropped. I fucking shot out of my goddamn bed because I heard it clear as day. It was 03:47 and I don’t have knockers on my damn doors! Ever since that day I can never tell what is real and what my mind is making up.

Is this a system of PTSD? Or do I have other issues now too? And where the hell can I go to get help? And for God’s sake please don’t say the fucking VA. The therapists at my local VA don’t know what the fuck they are doing because apparently I’m the only OEF era vet they have ever talked to!

Hi guys, I need help. My BF of two years is having a hard time and I don't know how to support him or help him. I've reached out to the VA and they weren't alot of help. He is in constant physical pain from being in combat. Nothing helps and we are now talking about cutting his nerve endings to help but even that doesn't seem to be 100% solution. We don't have an appointment with the pain clinic until April. Everyday he gets quieter, every day I feel him a little more distant and I don't blame him. He goes to work, and they depend on him alot, he's up there in the chain of command. When I ask him what's wrong he tells me "If I knew, I would tell you". He came up and laid on my lap once and cried. I only noticed because his tears were falling on legs. Sometimes all he wants me to do is hold him. He now has begun to wake up startled and disoriented. I can tell he's having a rough day because he just laid on my lap and fell asleep. How can I help him? He is an incredible person. He'd do anything for anyone, his friends love him, he's the funny one in the group but he's changing now and I don't want to lose him to depression. He's never yelled at me and he doesn't drink so I'm not in any danger. I just want to help him feel safe.

First post here, looks like a community I can reach out to. This might be a little disconnected and ranty but I'm kind of spiraling right now so bear with me.
Army/ NG vet '06-'12, OEF X-XI. 70% PTSD/TBI, 100%TDIU

I've been extra stressed lately, my wife has been out of steady work since Mar '20 and has been slow to look for work (she suffers from depression and always says things like "I know I should apply for jobs I just haven't"). So we've been whittling away our savings (which is gone now) and staying above the water thanks to my VA Disability. We are also in the process of getting our house ready to sell to move a few states away to be closer to aging family members.

​

The problem is I've gotten WAY too good at hiding my symptoms, to the point where my wife can't even tell when I'm having issues anymore. I look and act like there is nothing wrong, meanwhile in my head I'm going crazy with stress, guilt, intrusive thoughts like suicidal ideation (no actual plans just "it would be nice to not exist right now" type thoughts) and no interest in my hobbies. I feel fundamentally misunderstood in most areas of my life right now, especially since the one therapist at my VA I trusted accepted a promotion and left the state about 8 months ago. I haven't had a flashback in a while, which is good, but with the nightmare that the world has become it would almost be a relief to have one.

For some reason I'm not comfortable bring this up to my wife at the moment as she's not having an easy time either and I feel like expressing my feelings would burden her. I've always been very good at pretending to have the "stiff upper lip" and "keep calm and carry on" attitude outwardly, especially when I'm really struggling, but this has gotten out of hand. I can't get my head to stop and I don't feel like I'm able to open up to anyone because of how "steady" and "strong" I've been through the last 22 months. I kind of wish I could just have a nervous breakdown, maybe I'd feel better.

​

Anyway, sorry for the rant

Does anyone have experience with dating a veteran who has had commitment issues and self sabotaging? He has low self esteem/hates himself. I am at a loss as what to do. He sees a therapist through the VA which I’ve heard aren’t that great and is on meds. I’ve been trying to get him to show me some kind of commitment. He finally said he’d move in and a few weeks before Christmas he bailed. We haven’t spoke in a few weeks due to me being so hurt. Any advice or experience with this?

I did medevacs, humanitarian missions and dignified transfers. Been out 6 years and Ive lost 2 friends to suicide. I tried to help them but now their gone. I feel guilty I question myself if I tried hard enough. My life is falling apart. I lost my 6 month old daughter and me and her mother split up. Now my house is empty. I feel empty and I dont know how to deal with this pain. I'm in school for nursing I want to get into the field again. Why do I want to be in dangerous situations again? I'm lost and I dont know what to do.