Lay down your light at the Altar in the Night.
The deep, all-seeing dark.

The first fear, the great black that hides the
tender shadows of our hearts.
A secret tendril connecting humankind.

Keeper of dreams, the boundless blanket for our deepest slumber.
Our doorman to the memories in our minds.

Frontier of wonder, the celestial backdrop of
scattered stars.
Mystifying muse of deep desire.

Our first home, the obscured nothing before our
eyes opened from birth.
An unspoken truth of our origin.

End of ends, the final, collapsed out-breath of
a divine spark.
And the hopeful, hazy pledge of a new life.

Lay down your light.
Lay down your fright.
At the Altar in the Night.

i ii

Whispers of help😈

Poem

Your ears to listen Your mouth to taste Given in a second 15 seconds of haste Like water through fingers My words were absorbed Words of warning Which were unprocured It matters still not so in the precision which I speak. Your brain for decisions Your eyes used to see What a waste. All these tools And none put to use You were given the gift of life Which you clearly have abused And YOUR life IS yours. Truly.

Believe it or not You need not sit here all alone rotting in your thoughts.

get-up-now- quickly -i wont ask twice -put out your palm -take-this-knife- your way it did not work-

-- as we have both --

clearly-seen now press the blade up against your palm -and repeat-after-me.

#sweetly-sighs-in-latin

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1if1h3t/the_two_blades/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1if266h/normal_people/

it weighs - living in the chest

and squeezing ever so tightly

on our breath -

press

carried alone –

an unwanted parasite

let loose on the inside

leaching our strength

eating

thoughts fold and loop back

reason hides – unwanted -

cowering as relentless rage

takes the podium to speak

silencing internal voices

with the vitriol of self-righteousness

every recollection a historical wrong

feeding

time is water to the fire inside

the hurt faces of loved ones

breaking the trance

from the compelling speaker

trying to take us to a hell

of our own

making

Feedback:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1if4dkg/desert_sand/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1if3gu6/what_ive_missed_since_being_dead/

With splintered iron inside wasted shrine,

Forever schemed against forlorn at home.

Like hatred mounted from iron in brine,

In sadness not unlike the silent dome.

Now I'm afraid of fireflies at lake,

Await the wounds to bloom from flutter flight.

While I walk alone for silence's sake,

And hide from ruby mud of rain-less night.

Unblind and blind much shallow graves we heaped,

With tears for some and many swallowed shouts.

While seeing too much light and light less eyed,

And stole some laugh from cheerless nights of doubt.

Unbroken, broken parts are mine alone,

Like shattered glass to make mosaic whole.

comment 1- https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1hlsnz9/comment/m3p8d1z/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

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Open for critic.

Wonders ever marvel
A percolating rage
Of man
Of earth
Pressure like a swollen dam
Madness
Intermixed with means
Thoughts without thinkers
Riches in the form of richness
Creation as the perversion of necessity
Olympians, racing to build a new Titan
Forgetting Cronus ate his children

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1iezzjf/comment/madlyjo/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1if4dkg/comment/madlg1d/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Healing is cleaning with a dirty rag
Scared of being labelled as a drag
I hide sharp things inside my bag
Spilled milk begets a game of tag

Streaks of grease I could never erase
New horizons beg me not to stay
Better than I was, yet forever stained
Learn to be grateful rather than complain

Longing to be sterilized
It takes me time to realize
Some wolves wear a sleek disguise
So a younger me can sympathize

I tried harsher chemicals
Propped sick people up on pedestals
Running at their beck and call
The hell of being flexible

Oblivious to the life I annihilated
My naivety was easily bated
I flounder, deeply frustrated
Will my pain forever be negated?

Whirlwind in a bottle ready to pop
Pools of dark liquid expand as I rot
I start to identify things I am not
Allowing a moment to finally stop

Am I punishing myself?
Trading outside validation for my health
Unaware of my irreplaceable wealth
Such juvenile actions belong on the shelf

At last I know better
I want better weather
Build up strength, release my tether
My imagination can flow unfettered

LINKS

1. What I’ve Missed Since Being Dead
2. The Two Blades

Nothing
Then -- darkness.
I open my eyes,
Darkness still
The pale sun above me,
Making me feel
Warm at night.
Its beam of light
Crumbles down
The pyramid of might.

World's horizon is too near
And the dunes are gold and black
And I know I can't go back --
So I'll just sink even lower
Through the warm desert sand.

[1,2]

You trick your brain into thinking it’s some kind of helpless bastard
Telling it what it can and cannot be
Reforming the thoughts, creating new pathways
Adding different restrictions, conditions
Until there is nothing left to give…
You hold the positivity at bay A label… that’s all that’s left of you
The imagined creation
But isn’t it all in your imagination?
The good, the bad, the wrong, the right
Telling yourself “this will happen”
“I am” one singular emotion
But in reality…
The harm and the help arise from one brain
A mind which exasperates, undermines
Yet cares for you, allows you to shine
One and the same, the mind and its games
Labels turned into identities
Helpless identities, saddened identities
Ones which you’ve trapped yourself inside of
Claiming to be easily overwhelmed, weakened, overtaken
By emotions you could not rule
Fucking fool…
You say your thoughts are not under your control?
Yet they keep you standing, breathing, laughing
Constantly attempting to comfort what’s hurting
Such precision and form
You think you’re not in control?
Able to rationalize… what you did, what you do, what you “wish” you had done
With aim, with purpose
Give yourself some credit…
Why reduce what has no limit?
After all, your thoughts are your own
Your brain is more than an organ…
A use intended for creativity and expansion
Not to limit yourself…
With one singular notion
That a mental illness you’ve been granted…
Is all that’s left of your soul
But you’re not broken
Give it time
The light you’ve hidden is always arisen

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/FUxmERF0OL

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/rGLqBt8zU8

Btw: This poem was only for me, it’s not aimed at anyone. :)

Ice cream in winter.

I know a warm, cozy spot.

Two scoops of vanilla

With oreos on top.

And you'll just have hot chocolate.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/1Hoz4sKfDj

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/bw4yLxxmiB

Critique 1 and 2

Join me in mayhem;

Let's dance under the stars.

Let's shout ‘til our throats bleed.

Let's make this night ours.

.

Join me in chaos.

Are you one to believe,

That to live is to lose,

That to lose means to leave?

.

Join me in mayhem;

I'm twirling until I fall down.

My feet trail circles-

In the dirt,

Through the woods,

To the hills,

Where we will never be found.

I'd love thoughts and suggestions if you have any :)

Ruined me, I tell you.

RUINED!
DESTROYED!
CARNAGED!

I am torn up flesh,
And spilt blood.

I am death personified–
Unromanticized.

You have clawed me open
Unapologetically,

And I crawled back
Bloodied.

Take me in.
Feed me.
Love me.

Then discard me
Once again.

[ i, ii ]

To show them mercy, I become a fiend,

A curse upon my own, by kindness sworn

Yet contrite sorrow cuts through thickest rind

And hollows out my hallowed soul in scorn.

Such dulcet words for cloying, bitter thing.

For honey-laced ash inside ear it pours.

As words of rust and ruin with worry sing,

From inside, they are veil not moat heart roars.

Like whetstone, grace and duty sharp the pain,

To make me spare the foe that slay my kin.

Each sip, each grain is marked with blooded name,

The choice of poison left for me like sin.

The world is vaster than two ends of knife,

My soul is worth more than this bitter strife.

comment 1- https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1hlsnz9/comment/m3p8d1z/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

comment 2- https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1hlrdsu/comment/m3pdjgd/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

I am not satisfied with the imagery of this one, Please help me improve it and any other suggestions are welcome.

Cut the gristle from the meat

Stained yellow foam

From pulling at the sheet

-

The dog is not dead

Because I have yet to ask

This dog is not dead

Just simply, dissipating,

In this heat

-

And time to me

Is happening all at once

In horrific syncopation

Water, stagnant in the reeds

-

To cease is to create a footnote

Within some loop

So, I want to go

Where the hounds finally lay

-

And please only say to me

Don't ever get rid of this decay

-----

I originally drew a photo of my dog to go along with this

but my handwriting is not the best lol

here it is -> https://imgur.com/a/b1CF8or

feedback:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1if04bg/estrangers/

Marker : r/OCPoetry

At our park bench under a dim streetlight,
Time dances between day and night.
A fellow traveler sits on my right.

Does my presence shroud the light?
Is their sanctity invaded by my plight?

Lost in their world, do they even
notice me? They are leaving.
My memories crashed the meeting.

Strange thoughts, please stay home
So others do not tumble into my tomb.
I try to run into this past on my own.

I am wary of my memories
Like a stranger on the street,
Whose name is lost,
Yet still we meet.

I am with my thoughts alone.
Even strangers are unknown.

-

My Blog: https://appearsrandom.wordpress.com

Feedback:
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1iez5bn/comment/mac210o/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1ieue9o/comment/mac30pj/

I woke up to find God tied to a chair,
Mouth sewn shut with threads of fear.
He’s staring at me like he wants to speak,
But I cut his tongue last week.
and I said "I’ve been wondering—
How much of this is real, and how much is just a bad joke we’ve all been living in?”

The fire burns,
But no one screams,
And I think we forgot how to feel.
Maybe that’s the point.

The floor’s on fire,
The ceiling’s dripping with broken choir songs.
Preachers scream on TV screens,
Selling salvation like it’s the new lottery.

The flags—they wave, but not for me.
They’re just blowing in the wind of somebody’s agenda.
And I walk through a town where the rules don’t bend,
They break, like bones under the weight of lies,
Under the weight of all these prayers we’ve been stacking up like unpaid bills.

They tell me to believe in freedom,
But freedom tastes like metal in my mouth,
Like handcuffs on the wrists of the voiceless.
The sky looks red, but they swear it’s blue.
And the truth?
Hell, the truth changes every hour on the news.
Just watch.

I hear the priests are selling grace now,
Right out the back door of the church-
Two-for-one, no refunds.
Heaven’s just a word they use to make you pay attention,
And Hell?
Hell’s right here, on this corner, waiting for the next sucker to pass by.

There’s a president playing chess with the dead,
But I can’t tell the difference— Between the pawns and the people anymore.
I wonder if I’m one of them,
Just moving along the board,
A piece in someone else’s game.

God’s in a straitjacket.
Tell me who’s pulling the strings.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/OZJ4ckt0Ae

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/oFEjQrqsAO

when i find you on hinge

I don’t swipe
I linger
Reopening the app
Waiting for you to disappear
A refresh, a cleared cache
An algorithm won’t shed a tear
You’re here for now
On my screen
Can I prepare myself
to see you again?
Is it fate,
or is it too late?

I feel a tether,
an energetic tie to you.
If it’s all in my head,
why do I feel it anew?
Were you really thinking about me?
How often
How long

What do you think about me?
Months that I’ve been gone.
Will you see that I’ve grown?
The grass is greener on the other side,
a freshly mowed lawn.

What if my haikus
about you have called you back,
thinking of me too?

Whatever karmic cycle we’re in,
has it worn thin?
Will the wheel of time spin,
or will we wade deeper in?

Our paths diverged—
will they cross again?
Or will they merge?
Waiting for the Hinge to close,
but I don’t want to lose sight of you again.
Don’t want this prose to just be… prose.

•••••••

thanks for the feedback, y'all! i wrote this about a person that has felt "right person, wrong time." They recently reached out to me to reconnect.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/tKANZMpQbW

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/z92cXVoW36

Ghosts from the past haunt me,

shadows reach out for me,

fear dances around me,

for vengeance might consume me.

A part of me died that day,

empty shell, roaming the streets,

A dead soul sees the world in black and white.

Colors stripped,

along with my emotions.

Seeking for peace,

chancing upon anything,

to have my colors back.

Still, the ghosts hunts for me.

I have no choice but to confront them.

I may dispel them, or they may drag me down,

regardless, I wish for my colors back.

1.

2.

It’s cold.
Darkness has found me.
Lost, afraid, misguiding myself.
Driven towards faint lights in the distance.
There.
Led astray, I cannot find my way.
Broken steps on uneven pavement
Towards the promise of a warm embrace.
Despair.
Where to go from here?
For though I’ve reached the source
The once bright, distant lamp has dimmed.
Again.
Again.
I search for the next light.
Leaving a piece of myself behind
A tribute to be freed from this endless night.
When?
Will I face the truth?
That every faraway gleam
Is a new false promise I make with myself.
Break.

Back to the foundation.
A new path in the darkness
Undisturbed by the beckoning glow.
It’s cold.
And I wander.

i ii

Lonesome vessel; not supposed
To be there, yet you are.
I still wrestle; still opposed.
To be here. Still far,
Still scarred.
Still marred.

Yesterday I heard you speak.
A soft yielding voice,
I had mostly forgotten.
Perhaps you found what I seek.
With your silent choice,
And my woes begotten.

You won't return,
To a world I watch burn.
Still at every turn,
I quietly yearn,

Just to know.
You found home.

Dedicated to my girlfriend. She took her life five years ago. She took mine with her.

Links:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/uK1St9RJKG

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/uzr4xDWA7W

How could you break me a million times

just to put me back together?

You would bake the cookies and sing the lullabies,

Just to clip my wings so I could never fly.

You would buy my thoughts

just to own my feelings.

Make me feel so grateful

I would be too guilty to walk away

Because for you,

Even through the abuse,

I always managed to stay.

To be so alone

In a place supposed to be home

Just a forlorn person

Not quite sure what we’ve been mourning

The shattered fragments lost along the way

All the words we never got to say

All the people we’ve begged to stay

We’re so glad to be gone,

To cut the noose from the stem,

To no longer have to mold and bend.

To be the reflection of all others want us to be,

And shine the hopes and personalities,

Of who has never cared to make us happy.

How could you breathe the life into me

Just to strangle me to death?

You would build the house and carve the stone,

Just to burn the bridges and break our bones.

You would sacrifice your life

To create and supply mine,

But you would always hold it against me

The water would one day burst through the levee.

I would watch you shatter before my eyes

because with you all hope goes to die

And for you with agony I would cry

As I dragged myself to say the last forlorn goodbye.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1ieqmkr/comment/mabp05v/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1iexzci/comment/mabo7vw/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Why do we measure love
by the empty space it leaves behind?
Why is love so fleeting,
a spark,
yet forgetting it stretches into eternity,
a shadow we never outrun?

Is it because heartbreak, after all,
is the most loyal companion—
never leaving,
never wavering,
always waiting in the quiet corners
of our hearts?

Even the words betray their truth:
“Love,”
four letters, one syllable,
each letter solitary,
a whisper that fades.

But “longing”—
seven letters, two syllables,
its sounds repeating,
echoing like footsteps in an empty hall.

The pain feels safer than love now.
Once you wrestle with it long enough,
it becomes sacred,
a shrine to what was lost.

It becomes an escape,
a familiar refuge,
the home your heart always craved—
built from absence,
brick by brick,
etched with the memories
you dare not let go.

1 2

To the twitch within my eye
It's okay, you'll be alright
There's no need to be afraid
You're in my head, you've got it made

While other parts of mine might suffer in your place
Just think of feet, and how they crow, when they've just won a race
They work such tiresome jobs with grace, and yet I see you stumble
And frankly, on your mood I'd say, it's not so very humble

When we were younger, you would be
So full of life and liberty
You'd show me such new sights to see
And now, well you're still mostly free

Sure, the screens have grown a bit
As did the time we'd have to sit
And there was the time we sat in the park
And cried on that bench until it got dark

But that's the price we pay to climb
And everyone else seems to do it just fine
And I've not seen twitches in any of their eyes
And they're all so happy when we trade our goodbyes

And why can't you be happy too?
Tell me just what's wrong with you!
And why during every single meeting
Must you keep shaking and stirring and beating?!

Do I not try enough?
Do I not cry enough?
Have I not bent the truth into my lie enough?

You've seen just what I've had to do
To try my best to comfort you
But, a lot of me has had to die
To the twitch within my eye

1 2

i had split

like the split of the collar

that split you half

(search and see—gape and guise — should and Am).

/ i had slipped

like the buttons had slipped through

and slipped your step

(think and know and Feel—hole and pour and

filled — us and our and We).

/

i was sewn

like the sew of the seams

that sewed you whole

(eat and sing— glow and burn—Now and Is).

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/jGr5PnTX8d https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/faQJj9PEl8

Thinking of the first people to have sex with no intention of reproduction. I see plastered smiles on their youthful faces

He probably pulled down her straps, kissed her naked shoulders on the hotel bed—

brushed her hair back. she was tender, but the hunger in her eyes— bold. Both their skins hot.

She kissed her way down his jaw, treated him as he treated her. Both of them dancing, as if one were softer, tenderer, un-readier than the other.

For the first time in history, they wanted, needed, craved— nothing but small kisses, nothing but noise. Oh, pleasure! so worth it.

Perhaps that, that lustful sin placed in the Bible, then was it created for years we were robbed of sin.

And she laughed— she laughed as he pulled off each layer of her clothing, as he gazed at her bare body awkwardly. She stared at his.

She began to play nervously with her hands— this timid action juxtaposed with his serious expression.

She grew quiet.

He grabbed onto her hand, as if to say, "Come with me, over here. You're somewhere else."

Her hands shook slightly. This was serious.

and soon he lathered up her hands with his warmth, as if they both weren't warm-blooded— as if he was rubbing in lotion, the kind that smells like lavender but doesn't, so you rub it in more, searching for the scent.

But he wasn't. It was just skin on skin.

And maybe he was placing something on her hands, Something powerful therapeutic because her fingers soon stilled.

And there fell silence.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/utoW0qEvOl

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/vYS1mpsVNL

(Structure is off due to reddits formatting)

The Knife that cuts the butcher's meat

As blood spills out and stains the clothes

And the people grab to eat

The Knife that cuts the umbilical cord

As the doctor breathes relief

And the parents wish for nothing more

The Knife that cuts the ripe field

As dirt and weeds are shredded

And the new seeds revealed

The Knife that cuts the man's neck

For his child, he gave his life

As the reaper comes to cash his cheque

The Knife that cuts my chest

As lines appear

I wonder if this will also give me

Some new beginning

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1iefbr8/once\_in\_a\_blue\_moon/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1i9a10u/things\_i\_dont\_say/

the comforting trash on the floor
the comforting stab of a wound

unmistakable
i have never doubted a wrapper on the floor
i have never doubted a scrape on the knee

so i step over piles and piles on the trek to my bed, for when the mountains are gone i don’t know where to point myself
what else is there to overcome?

and i won’t know anyone else so the vermin are just creatures who make sure i am never alone as they sift and crawl through manmade landscape

for when the mountains are gone where will their home be, where else are they to turn?

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/iVE97UJZa0

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/jjlyyWhGjE

(Reposted cuz i wanted to change the title)

As the sun rise

The glimpse of your face breathes fire

Into my unlit eyes

Your auburn hair

Brings out the colors on the trees, under the autumn skies

And as the leaves fall

So shall I

When I hear your call

Feedback:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1iefbr8/comment/ma741le/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1iebkuk/comment/maa1j3p/

Why should we embrace the new day? and watch as familiar things become new when we remember yesterday

why does time always seem to run away? when we must face another day, where we watch the lives we grew fade away. why should we embrace the new day?

why should we watch the homes we were raised in decay why must we bury the fragmented bones of the people we once knew when we remember just yesterday,

we played in these yards but now we leave bouquets. why does time make what was once true untrue? why should we embrace the new day?

why is there no way to go back to yesterday why is everything we so desperately tried to hold together though Don’t you remember yesterday?

why is there no way to reclaim what was taken away? where has time taken you why should we embrace the new day when we remember yesterday?

1 2

It’s nights like these where the city’s dark and quiet-
And winters bite is harsh like confessions on Sundays,
Corporal punishment on Mondays;
Wanting Up when you’re down, Wanting Down when you’re up.

Breath foggy as memories dulled by Foggy nights Turned foggy days Turned foggy months, years
Until all that’s left is a foggy imprint.

Imprints on the mind, like imprints in the snow
You’ll miss it if you walk too slow.

Nights like these I stay inside.
A retreat from freezing, harsh nights-
Memories created only to be forgotten.
A retreat, only to face a different night-
Equally harsh, and much more lonely,
Memories not created, but instead remembered.

Memories
of a young child, so helpless
When pain was transmitted like radio waves,
And felt like ocean waves.
But she’s not her mother’s savior.

Of a young child, so alone
Wanting Up, but all she gets is Down,
Attachment theory at its best,
But she’s not her mother’s teacher.

Memories
Of a young girl, so deviant
(Or is it divergent?)
The signs radiating off of her as she squirms in her too-tight socks
Like she breathes through her ankles and suddenly she’s choking
But her mother’s not her savior.

Of a teenager, so awkward
Liquid friends that slip through open palms
(She didn’t know she needed a glass)
But her mother’s not her teacher.

I’ll be the first to say you love me, you loved me
And I forgive you for the times it felt you didn’t
I know you did the best you could
Having kids sounds harsh as hell,
I wouldn’t wish it on my own worst enemy.

I’ll be the first to say I loved you, I love you.
And I forgive you for being human
Wealth and trauma, it’s all just generational
Being human is harsh as hell,
I wouldn’t wish it on my own worst enemy.

Harsh like
confessions on Sundays;
Corporal punishment on Mondays.
Wanting Up when you’re down;
Wanting Down when you’re up.

And I promise you’ll I’ll be fine
I promise I’ll be fine
I’ll be fine
I’ll be.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Mphpz2dZhT

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/7cibWXtqOY

Like a persistent wildflower.

My roots took hold in the dark crack left from ruin,

And… I grew.

Even when ripped from my hold, I sought new ground and grew.

When faced with blistering heat or left in the lonely cold,

I grew.

Sometimes, I grew without necessary sustenance or under intense pressure.

I battled many blights yet maintained the will to survive.

With gaze upon the light and unwavering intent,

I grew around each trouble, forever toward the sun,

Resilience shining upon my face.

Glowing with a beauty that was attained through many hardships,

This survivor has thrived to create a colorful life.

My seeds, never knowing a place of anguish, have become joyful flowers around me,

Their offspring are starting to sprout, too.

A glorious field of my own creation,

Bursts with color, so full of life.

I sway peacefully while butterflies dance around me,

My face to the light.

A beautiful life derived from the dark ashes of ruin.

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