I wasn't taught how to get a job, But I can remember dissecting a frog, I wasn't taught how to pay tax, But I know loads about Shakespeare's classics, I was never taught how to vote, They devoted that time to defining isotopes, I wasn't taught how to look after my health, But mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell, Never spent a lesson on current events, Instead, I studied The Old American West, I was never taught what laws there are, I was never taught what laws there are, Let me repeat, I was not taught the laws for the country I live in, But I know how Henry the VIII killed his women, Divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived, Glad that's in my head instead of financial advice, I was shown the wavelengths of different hues of light, But I was never taught my human rights there's 30, do you know them? I don't. Why the hell can't we both recite them by rote? I know igneous, metamorphic and sedimentary rocks, Yet I don't know squat about trading stocks, Or how money works at all, where does it come from? How does the thing that motivates the world function? Not taught how to budget and disburse my earnings, I was too busy rehearsing cursive, Didn't learn how much it costs to raise a kid or what an affidavit is, But I spent days on what the quadratic equation is. Negative b, plus or minus, the square root of b squared minus 4ac, over 2a. That's insane, that's absolutely insane. They made me learn that over basic first aid, Or how to recognize the most deadly mental disorders, Or diseases with preventable causes, Or how to buy a house with a mortgage, If I could afford it, 'Cause abstract maths was deemed more important, Than advice that would literally save thousands of lives, But it's cool, 'cause now I could tell you if the number, Of unnecessary deaths caused by that choice, was prime. Never taught present-day practical medicines, But I was told what the ancient Hippocratic method is "I've got a headache, the pain is ceaseless, what should I take?" Umm, maybe try some leeches? "Could we discuss domestic abuse and get the facts? Or how to help my depressed friend with their mental state?" Ummm, no, but learn mental maths Because "You won't have a calculator with you, every day!" They say it's not the kids, the parents are the problem. Then if you taught the kids to parent, that's the problem solved. All this advice about using a condom But none for when you actually want a kid. I'm only fluent in this language, for serious? The rest of the world speaks two, do you think I'm an idiot? They chose the solar over the political system So, like a typical citizen, now, I don't know what I'm voting on Which policies exist, or how to make them change Mais oui, Je parle un peu de française So at 18, I am expected to elect a representative For a system I had never, ever, ever been presented with But I won't take it. I'll tell everyone my childhood was wasted, I'll share it everywhere how I was "educated" And insist on these pointless things.

Farther more, I wake up at 7 a.m. getting ready for school, I see this cute pair of pants I want to wear...but I can’t wear them because it will “distract the boy” even tho the boys are free to wear whatever they want. So your grooming boys are a bunch of pedos and you’re telling young girls that a guy has the right to violate you and it’s all your fault because you wanted to feel comfortable and a guy just couldn’t control their dicks. (mind you these rules were written by a bunch of pedos and child molesters) but anyways the bus comes at 9 a.m. and I get to school 28 minutes later and my first class is P.E (which is the only class that students need at this school) and at 11:25 I go to geology (which shouldn’t be mandatory considering that 90% of it is useless in real life and trash) Next I have Mr. Holmes, I honestly don’t know what his class is for. Like is it English, literacy, or what? like I’m just there to be there (I don’t care about shake spears classic plays! Holmes class should not be mandatory, it’s just useless unless you want to be a writer) next I have ELA (which should not be graded, and the grade shouldn’t affect all my other grades from my other classes) Now it’s 4:30, time to go home and the bus takes longer to get to my house because I have a different bus in the afternoon than the morning with way more students so I get to my house at 5:30 p.m. and as soon as I get home I only have a 30-minute break before I have to do my homework (which I start at 6:00 p.m.) for all 4 classes I have and by the time im done its 7:20 p.m so it’s too dark for me to play outside. I have to repeat this cycle for 5 days (the whole week) and on the 2 days I get off on the weekend, BUT by the time to weekend gets here im too tired and stressed to go outside so I just sleep for the whole weekend and after a while, I start daydreaming about running away on a train and let it take me anywhere because that’s the only way I feel like I can get out this cycle and the weekend is over and then I realize that I’m depressed and I want to take a year off for my mental health but my teachers do a lot of stupid gaslighting and my parents care more about a stupid A+ then my mental health even though I learn more on google then I do in school. School needs to be reduced to 4 hours instead of 8 and those four hours should be used teaching kids real stuff. School is waste of time and isn’t unique because google does a better job than the stupid school system and that’s just sad and pathetic.

-Grades really cover up for failure to teach. A bad instructor can go through an entire quarter leaving absolutely nothing memorable in the minds of his class, curve out the scores on an irrelevant test, and leave the impression that some have learned and some have not. But if the grades are removed the class is forced to wonder each day what it’s really learning. The questions, What’s being taught? What’s the goal? How do the lectures and assignments accomplish the goal? become ominous. The removal of grades exposes a huge and frightening vacuum.

I'm tired of being depressed and feeling worthless, I want to cut my hair a bit shorter and maybe dye it and give it some curls. I want to start riding the bus again to the library and maybe other places. I want to start taking care of myself and looking pretty. I've realized that my life is falling apart, the bath is dirty, the toilet sink is clogged, the kitchen sink faucet is broken, fridge and couch have mole on them. I haven't been anywhere in 5 months I've just been in my room fighting and arguing with Odette (the woman who gave birth to me). I want to start taking care of my skin, doing my hair, and wearing cute clothes now that I stopped giving a damn anymore. I want to steal money from Odette to get my phone fixed so I can be safe and listen to music while riding the public bus. I really want to get a job so I can start saving up money to move out while also having a little to spend. I've already deleted social media. on my phone, there is this app that pays me for surveys and I made 41 dollars on there, but can only get paid in the form of gift cards and I'm fine with that since I mostly use the money to buy some small things online usually on Romwe which I love. I want to start getting movies from the library again. I have so much self-confidence now that I don't give two shits about society and their opinion.

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I want to buy myself nice things and live my life not caring, I want to start keeping bad energy away. go to school when I feel like it and not because I have to, start eating healthy and starting some small side hustles for money, start having good hygiene, wearing whatever I want, and not having to explain myself to people who understand me (people I don't give a fuck about, which is everyone but my brother).

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IM COMING OUT