I am now a mod on r/exspecialedkids. It is a place for all us former spec-ed kids. I am looking for suggestions on resources to put in the sidebar from those of you who were in the program.

Hi I am 28 years old with NVLD and it is really hard to always remember to do tasks, learn different cooking skills, etc. I do try the very best I could.

I was diagnosed with this thing when I was 16 and was in denial of it for 9 years because the thought of having a disability caused me a lot of shame. I didn't even think NLD was real because I've never met anyone else who has it and no professional I've ever talked to (school disability councilors, therapists, psychiatrists, ed. consultants, etc.) has actually known what it is. It makes me feel really weird because people think I'm normal but I don't feel normal but I also don't understand the disability at all. I don't know much about NLD honestly outside my own experience existing. I mostly just know that I hate that I have it. It definitely affects me academically but I think more than anything it fucks me up socially.

I don't really know what I'm trying to say or why I'm making this post. I'm just excited that I found this sub (even though it doesn't seem super active lol?) because I've always felt really really alone. So I guess this is my weird way of saying what's up.

Hi guys, I'm a 23-year-old student, and due to continually running into a wall throughout my life due to (probably) NLD, I've finally started learning more about what the disorder actually is and how it might affect me. I've been diagnosed three times so far by IQ test but unfortunately where i'm from it is not a well-known disorder, so no therapist has helped me cope with it so far.

I find that reading more is somewhat comforting, and a lot of times I have been exclaiming ''oh, that's me!'' while reading about traits and common problems in people with NLD. I especially have trouble with hyper-focusing on the wrong things, never feeling like I have enough time/feeling stressed out, visual-spatial activities like team sports or riding a bike, and reacting ''off'' socially because I feel anxious and tired due to sensory overload.

Since no two people are exactly the same; I was wondering what your guys's main issues are and how you cope with them?

Hello everyone! Are you an undergraduate student taking at least one online or blended course at a Canadian university this academic year of 2020-2021 and are 18 years of age or older? If so, you are eligible to participate in this study that looks at self-perceptions, beliefs about growth abilities, stress levels, and possible experiences with learning disabilities and ADHD if applicable. The survey will take approximately 20 minutes to complete. All data will be confidential.

If you are interested in participating, please use the following URL to complete the survey:
https://uwo.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_eEW0bgzbZD6ESRT

If you have questions related to the research, please contact me, Courtney Hartwig, at chartwig@uwo.ca or my faculty advisor, Dr. Lynda Hutchinson, at lhutch4@uwo.ca.

https://preview.redd.it/7okwa6xgavx51.jpg?width=1700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d41fe0a333149daf3d95f94ef0fa25ceea85d387

Hi everyone! I’m building a new website for people with NVLD. Its going to be a self-advocacy site similar to ASAN. I’m wondering what kind of content you would like to see on the site?

Im Putting my 2 weeks notice in today and going to try my luck at becomeing a streamer part time at first while i finnish my tafe course then moving too full time streaming next year 5 days a week as many hours as i can per day! Im over dealing with people constantly being fraustrated with me in the work force. I went to the doctors yesterday and wrote down all my symtoms making work hard for me and said to him i think the only thing that can help me would be if there was a place that hired people like myself and understands it. He basically laughed in my face and said that thats not reality then went on to perscribe me meds right away. i said look man im in a panic state all the time. he said are you suicidle and i said no im just at the point now where im going to quit my job and he said well as long as your not suicidle im not worried. 😑dose anyone take people seriously anymore without them being suicidle or having visual issues they can see? anyways time to put all my eggs in one basket and stream on twitch fingers crossed it turns out to be a really good idea and makes my life happy and forfilling god knows jobs are making that impossible! Im making my own pokemon fan game at the moment but im still learning how to do it so i could stream that and it could be like a learn with me journey type stream at first orrr im really good at magic the gathering so i could stream magic arena and give people tips and tricks and let people watch me destroy people playing online hahaha what do you guys think? vote for it🙂

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Hello, to anybody who wants to read this.

All my life from the age of 6 i have wondered what the hell is going on! my mother cheated on my dad and got hooked on heroin when i was 6. my father raised me and my bother on his own until he re married when i was 11 I used to be very affraid and stressed to see my mum because she had 2 more children with a man who beat her infront of me then she would cry in my arms for hours when i was young and eventully i begged my dad to stop making me visit her i didnt fully tell him what was happening only that her bf was mean. i always had problems i primary school keeping freinds and i often felt like everyone was out to get me. the only person in my life i thought i could trust was my dad. When i got to high-school my problems got worse i got diognosed with non verble and my dad payed it no mind. i never wanted to be at school i had social problems couldn't make or keep freinds never did schoolwork or anything i told my dad i thought i had a serious learning problem and social issues he would tell me not to tell people and that i could do things i thought i couldn't he basically blamed me for the issues which cause me alot of self hatred. Then my mum got cancer and started to die when i was in year 9 it got worse and my dad let me stop going to school and i stayed at my mums caring for her for about 6 months until she died. when i came back to school they told me i should leave because they were going to expell me if i didnt because of my grades and attendence. So my dad pushed me into the work force and i moved out of home at 16 i got an Apprenticeship from a dads mate In that Apprenticeship i was belittled sworn at told i was usles told i didnt learn fast enough had metal tressals thrown at me the list goes on... eventully i got hooked on coke because i was making alot of money and working 9-10 hour days and i was very depressed i also got into a toxic relationship with a woman 3 years older than me who selfharmed which caused me much more pain eventually i quit my job moved into my Nans house because my dad wpuldnt have me live with him because i am ment to be self sufficient and he still blames me for this. i got hard into dealing drugs at this stage because i had ptsd from jobs thought i was useless and had nothing to live for. not just that i was good at dealing me and my mate who was abused as a kid aswell were making enough money from dealing to support ourselves and we loved it because we never got caught we didnt have bosses there was no time lines or responsibility that comes with illegal work and i have some amazing talking skills when it comes to selling and making my own money. so we decide we will get ourselves a house he started a chef Apprenticeship and i worked as the dishy at the same bar he was chefing at. thats when i found my current partner who is becoming a doctor she got me out of the drug game and told me i couldn't do it because it was too risky. so i decide i will be a childcare worker because i want to be a good father (a better one than my dad and my two little brothers dickhead dad) but oh my ive been doing a cert 3 for the last year and working as a childcare worker at a private school but seriously im still at the start of this. my anxiety is booming whenever i go to work i literally shit myself have done many times especially when i was in construction and my body and stomach feel in a knot im nervers im stressed im anxious whenever i have to work. I dont trust myself not to accidently swear infront of the kids i have now like twice last week a girl told me she was going to get me fired my boss is super passive aggressive and tafe work is impossible to stay on top of i constantly feel like i have bo idea whats going on at tafe and at work i hate it i want to seek help but i never do because im very one track minded and i just feel like its impossible to work on my mental health while working and at tafe i really wanna quit but its too hard to get another job during the pandemic. hounestly jobs are the worst part of my life i feel like i could be fine if i could just retire now and never work again its just too much for me to handle i dont know what to do all ik is that i need to be jobless or i need a job i can do easily stress free and alone. ps . I have no skills and i lack interest in almost everything i do other than hanging out with my 1 best mate or my 1 girlfriend or playing vidiogames or relaxing or smoking weed and trying to forget all my problems like i literally just work to spend all my money because im compulsive and feel like spending money will make me feel batter about working or im just disracting myself from my job and all the stress i have about it until my next shift get thought that then repeat it cant be healthy to be this stressed all the time i have had quite a few panic attacks already i cant live like this please help me😣

I'm diagnosed with ASD. My PIQ is 40 points higher than my VIQ. I know that extreme differences in subscores are a common feature of ASD, and than NVLD is considered part of the "broader autism phenotype". I'm just curious if there's a specific corresponding disorder for people with a subscore discrepancy in the opposite direction from NVLD, similar to myself?

Disclaimer: Forgive me if I seem a bit harsh in my tips about NVLD, but I’ve learned that even though these tips suck to have to use, it pays off so much. NVLD has always in my eyes been seen as an obstacle, and like all obstacles; they can be overcome. I encourage each and every one of you to never let yourselves be limited by your disability. We can do this.

That being said, if you don’t think you’ll be able to handle hearing this stuff (as it kinda flipped my world upside down when I learned it) then please don’t continue reading. These aren’t meant to offend any of you, and are rather purely what have helped me personally.

Good morning, everyone. Below are some tips and tricks I’ve used that have helped me tremendously with nvld-related social ineptness.

1. Don’t ever let yourself get offended - If you feel offended, take note for a moment, and then pretend you’re not. If someone is being passive aggressive, treat it as if they’re being kind.

Real Life Example - Someone says “Your legs are so hairy I could make a sweater out of them” and everyone in class laughs

What I want to say: Quit being a dick (Offended Response)

What I should say: “Oh I guess you’re right! Haha, omg that’s so true tho, honestly, but hey, it’s a sign of manliness, so I’m not complaining aha”

See what I did there? I turned a situation where I was being teased and bullied into one where I’m laughing along with the “bully”

In my time dealing with nvld I’ve learned that 9/10 times that I perceive someone as being mean to me, is actually just someone playfully teasing me.

No matter how nasty someone is to me, I always try to stay level headed, and make sure not to ge get angry at anyone.

By doing this first trick, I realized that people weren’t trying to be mean, but it’s actually some people’s “normal way of being friendly”

I know it sounds paradoxical, but hear me out: we get over-offended because we misunderstand the true nature of their intention regarding why they’re saying certain things. We take it as an attack, when it’s really just a playful tease.

2. If you think there is a possibility of something you’re doing being perceived as impolite, then stop doing it.

• The most important thing to have with NVLD is very strong manners. If you’re able to maintain social expectations, even if they sound stupid and pointless, then you’ll be able to truly see the difference.

3. Don’t say stupid shit

Real life example: (The first time meeting someone, in my freshman year of high school) I asked a girl if she was a virgin, and I had only JUST met her, and instead of asking her fav color or something normal my horny ass didn’t realize that asking if she was a virgin is a big no-no.

3a. If you say stupid shit anyways, try to dissect the situation afterwards. Indicators that you said something stupid include: People being angry People treating you weirdly People not talking to you

For a lot of my life, I’ve felt comfort in knowing that despite being socially inept, I can’t control it. It made me feel a sense of “hey this sucks, but I can’t do anything about it so I might as well not try”

Well what I wish to say to people who might think that now is: It is BECAUSE of the fact that you can’t control your NVLD that it’s so important to find ways to deal with it. I have not found easy fixes that make nvld go away, but I have found that there’s little changes in how I react that can have a huge impact on my social life. So what I recommend to all of you is to see your NVLD not as a curse, or as an inherent bonus, but rather a double edged sword.

It’s like I’m Superman, and socialization is my kryptonite. But unlike Superman, I can overcome my “kryptonite.”

I don’t want to bring any of you down, and I know when I learned all of this, it was upsetting to hear because it meant that the only way I could be happy was to actively monitor my reactions. However, I quickly learned that it was completely worth it to do so. And with that, has come the biggest, most monumentous times of growth for me. With everything I’ve said, I’d like you to come away from this post, inspired. I want you to be able to see that NVLD is just a bump in the road. Each and every one of you have a depth and character far beyond what characterizes NVLD. So get out there, and seize the day.

Obtinebimus.

Also I made a discord for NVLD: https://discord.gg/prbRrc6

So I'm curious if NLD impacts my ability to do some of the things I like... well, do them well. Namely:

-Fighting games: I like Guilty Gear but lord knows I can't do a complex combo to save my life. I'm better than a button masher but anyone with experience can kick my rear 8/10 times. Practice doesn't seem to work.

-Magic the Gathering: I am not good at deck building. Picking cards to add or remove and which cards that will make my deck work more is a gamble. I don't have to win but... I really would like to win in a good game.

-Strategy and/or role playing games: How the heck do I make a strong build? Players can total me while I try too hard to be a generalist with simple gimmicks.

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How do I improve if I cannot comprehend what makes someone good at a thing?

So I've hit a low point in my college carrier. I've had two really bad school terms and I'm trying to sort out how to improve my situation.

My background (Because my brain state is important, I think): I was evaluated when I was around 10. This was the second time with the first being the LD-NOS or whatever it's called. I started having trouble with math in 8th grade (when Algebra happened and I got introduced to research papers). I didn't find out I had NLD until I was in high school when on one particular bad day of a schedule out of whack (day off from school, my track team went to a funeral for a schoolmate's dad, I had a massive communication break down between my mom and my coach) and I started to think I was retarded (sorry, I legitimately thought I might have been mentally impaired) and I asked my mom what's wrong with me. Turns out, my parents wanted me to not know so that I wouldn't have an excuse and it worked for a while, but I still had issues with math. I got into college for a computer science degree and I've been struggling since my second term about 3 years ago now.

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My tangled mess of issues:

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So I have this strong anxiety approaching people of authority when I screw up. My mom tended to yell at me when I didn't do good on assignments and tests (I'm not aware if it's because of something else that I'm just forgetting, like I should be going to the teacher for help or something). This has led to two things that I feel get in my way: I'm scared to go in because I'll be criticized for not doing what I was supposed to or getting help sooner and that makes me put off getting what I need, and meanwhile I have gotten into a bad habit of trying to hide my struggles from my mom who demands a logical explanation from me and yet shoots down whatever I feel is a cause for my issues as just an excuse. How can I better initiate conversation with professors?

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I have a hard time setting up appointments because (I FEEL) I have to do so more than a day in advance when I need the help soon and when you have to juggle classes and whatnot, by the time I hit the day before I think "I'll just be intruding on their probably tight knit plans." How can I be more reliable?

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I've been having a rough time with lectures. My notes are just not cutting it anymore and I'm getting frustrated going to a place and wasting my time when I can better learn from a video or a book. How can I get more out of class? How can I keep myself going to class?

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My mom says she can help me but I'm really worried about her temper and impatience. I can't tell if my request for aid will result in admonishment or genuine relief. I had a research paper to write and she insisted on checking it. I didn't include quotes because it's easier for me to write opinion and insert my research and I didn't have citation cards or anything to "prove" I did research and she just went off on me. I want to stop lying to her... but to get her off my back she needs to know I can handle myself and when I don't... is it wrong for me to say I can't trust *her*? How do I get space AND help?

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I really have a hard time with math. I don't get what it is. I did excellent in Phys II, electricity and magnetism, because all that was plug variables into an equation on a sheet. Stuff like Linear Algebra and Abstract Algebra are just a nightmare because I also have to provide logical proofs. I've also suffered in "Senior Seminar" an ethics class on leadership where everyone has to lead a class lecture on the material and do weekly journals and a research paper... I HATE that class it is the most useless thing ever, I've gotten more about leadership by watching Gundam. How can I use my verbal strengths to cope?

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I really don't know what to do about my NLD, I don't think I can get much in terms of accommodations, the professors give me the impression that I can only get extra time on tests. So what do I tell them about NLD and what do I ask for help on? If I go in for help on a math problem in my homework, I get the solution, leave, try a new problem, get stuck again.

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I find myself getting burnt out at school very often and the urge to hide under my covers is overwhelming. This isn't helping my procrastination problems. How do I get better at productivity? Especially on long papers.

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Thanks for all of your time reading this and your replies.

~ Ye Bird King

Hey guys, wondering how others coped with nld. Hope someone replies! Thanks!

On an NLD Facebook group that seems to be dominated by parents, I saw a post from a mother who talked about how she hasn't told her son he has NLD. Several other parents chimed in saying that they were also not telling their child about their diagnosis, some with kids as old as 13.

Personally, I find this appalling. I swear to God, some parents of children with special needs think we're made of glass or something. I knew I was different way before I started having trouble in school. I couldn't put my finger on why, but I just knew I lacked something other kids had, or had something other kids lacked. Finally getting diagnosed in seventh grade made all the pieces come together for me. It was very empowering. Even without the benefit of sped services, I finally understood why I was different from other people, and that it wasn't because I was lazy or difficult, I was just wired differently. I ate up all the literature on my diagnosis that I could find. Hell, by the time I was 14, I had read more about NLD than my dad had.

If I found out that my dad knew about my NLD years before he told me, I'm not sure if I could forgive him. Hell, I forgave him for the hell of a private school he paid for, because I believe he genuinely thought he was doing the right thing for his kids by sending us there. But this kind of decision is something I have a lot of trouble understanding. To be fair, it does seem like the mother isn't doing this maliciously, and that she really has her son's best interests at heart. But I just feel so bad for that kid. Knowledge is power, man.

What do you guys think of this? Did your parents do this? Are there any upsides to this kind of approach?