https://youtu.be/Idn71C-X_vg?feature=shared

        I found a couple of interesting Muslim marriage apps. They ask an interesting question: this feature asks if the member has an illness, for instance, mental and physical challenges. You can also pick chronic conditions, then enter your condition. This is a benefit because people want a discreet or anonymous way to disclose. In addition, one app (from Saudi) allows people to be clear about their health early, which is a norm in the Kingdom¹. Another step in the GCC is blood screening. This mandatory test checks for genetic issues that might affect lineage. It also checks for STIs, but not H1 and H2. Therefore, this app gives people the opportunity to be transparent about their health in an anonymous way. Nevertheless, I didn't come across one HSV profile.

        Personally, I think there are two major reasons people don't disclose on marriage sites: fear and culture, causing right-brain fog. I really think it's a psychological block, another virus that attaches to the subconscious mind during H discourse. I read the pharmaceutical industry downloaded this virus into society using fear². They marketed the H meds with a stigma and stereotype virus. The entertainment industry got in on the shame game too. The result: $$$ payola - H meds. The evidence for this claim is HIV. This group has antivirus software, so they beat the stigma and stereotypes virus. They didn't allow big pharma and the media to cast a cloud over HIV positive folks. The result is a far different reaction from those who carry the virus and later become non-detectable and the HIV negative people they meet (in the West). In Western societies, people were educated to prevent the spread and reduce the emotional effects on people's lives; not so with H1 and H2. Furthermore, culture allows stigma and stereotypes to thrive in the Muslim community, but I'm not going to go there because we already know there's a marriage crisis.

Ref

¹ "Premarital Screening" https://www.moh.gov.sa/en/HealthAwareness/Beforemarriage/Pages/default.aspx

² "How herpes got its stigma" https://herpes.org.uk/how-herpes-got-its-stigma/

Hey guys,

So I'm a 24 year old lad unfortunately with the gift that keeps on giving (HSV1). I'm wondering if there are any Arab or South Asian ladies on this subreddit based in London (or elsewhere in the UK) who are in the same boat and are interested in marriage.

I found out recently that a family member gets cold sores every now and then. (Even before my encounter) What are the chances that I’ve had HSV1 through family (like since childhood maybe), and never knew because of lack of symptoms?

I’ve been stressing out randomly. I was doing ok but then I started reading about this again, and spiraled. Now I’m back feeling emotionally low and scared and uncertain.

The Poll Pt.2

In a private message, someone asked me about ensuring privacy in a hypothetical Muslim Matchmaking service for people with H. To maintain confidentiality, I wouldn't directly mention H. Instead, I'd imply that the service addresses tough issues through traditional Islamic norms. Involving professionals like psychologists, counselors, coaches, Imams, scholars, and a shura board in the matching process, both indirectly and directly, is crucial. While many may not accept this approach, following Islamic guidelines should alleviate concerns about the service's integrity. Additionally, I'd strive to make the service holistic, drawing from traditional Islamic teachings. The presence of professionals and a shura board could also facilitate funding to ensure affordability. Ultimately, Allah knows best.

The need for such a service stems from various factors. Firstly, institutions and SMEs have invested resources in studying the social challenges facing Muslims, revealing a dire situation. Secondly, there's a communal responsibility to tackle these issues, as relying solely on social science isn't sufficient, especially considering that many Muslims don't utilize this knowledge. Thirdly, although several services address these issues, it's essential to scrutinize them and establish standards for their operations.

Issues: mental illness, domestic abuse, divorce, no wakeel, age, ethnicity...

Feed back what do you think about the MM.

Coaching https://www.pioushearts.com/unfiltered-coaching/

About US https://www.pioushearts.com/difference/

Edited

This should be shared think about children.

Antidote I had a grandmother from the south who kissed her grandchildren with her lips put in her mouth. It was a strange feeling; I didn't like those kisses but I had to follow customs. Maybe she was trying to protect us from something.

11. Cold Sores

A recent Facebook post asked on a famous website that her baby is being infected with HSV-1, caused by kissing of an adult. That kid was rushed to the hospital as the case got worse¹.

This is a reason Hsv1 is an epidemic. Another reason is some people say Hsv1 is caused from being hot 🥵; I was shocked when a H pos person made that false claim. I tried to give a physiology lesson about the immune system. lol, the individual looked at me like I was an alien. So, I switched modes - interigation. Huh, so does most of your family have this? I can't remember the answer. But I do know there's a social norm in the family - the community cup. STOP DRINKING FROM THE COMMUNITY CUP DURING MEALS!

Shedding is real shedding is real shedding is real

¹"11 Major Reasons Why You Should Never Kiss" Babieshttps://theislamicinformation.com/kids-and-moms/never-kiss-babies/

Disclaimer: I don't support this site or have any connections with it. the link is FYI only, verify all information with SME, Allah knows best.

Just need some support, as iam dealing with anxiety daily.... As i was diagnosed with hsv 1.....I am muslim brother aged 26. Please ping me!!!!!!!!!!!

In general I advocate for Muslim matchmaking¹, a service that actively brings individuals together. This service is available for Muslims; however, I don't see any support for MwH. Nevertheless, I am still fascinated with the idea of a service that caters to that group. However, I need some data that shows my vision is more than just my imagination. I considered marriage matchmaking as a communal obligation. Another aspect I brainstormed is secrecy. People don't discuss H with family. Well, think of a matchmaker like a doctor or lawyer, people who know our secrets related to their profession. I devised a marketing strategy, an indirect approach designed to attract a particular group. Once they are on the hook, they enter an environment completely free from any H discourse; the whole process shifts offline to phone calls. Initially, the MM initiates, then involves family. WHAT! Remember, no one is trying this — it's confusing. But not to me, I have the vision and much of the how. Still, something was missing — would people want this service? The answer: yes, I saw the forums poll!!! Twenty people responded; 13 expressed a desire for a matchmaker/marriage advice. Well, in my mind, both roles are one. Question: I see marriage profiles with a couple thousand views, but there's less than 500 people in the group. Is Google the reason for the extra view?

¹https://blog.hautehijab.com/post/interview-with-hoda-ibrahim

I don't support this site, just an example of the concept

Assalamualaikum I’m 30. I’ve had hsv for a couple years. I wasnt practicing around the time I got hsv and had been doing things wrong It’s been devastating and I feel as though I’ll never get married. The thought of telling people in the community is scary and I know it wouldn’t go well. I pray and fast and take our deen seriously. I live in the states and I’m Arab. If any Muslim women are reading and will consider or if you have hsv feel free to contact me and we can discuss things further.

Can I get an age check, any ladies over 40ish?

I’ve had hsv2 for 25 years and I disclosed it to my husband before we met in person. He accepted and still married me. After 7 years married, he is now infected. His ob is horrible. It’s a full body rash for 7 weeks and the guilt is unimaginable and the despair as well. I feel as though for sure I will go to jahanam. I can’t explain how I feel. I was an extremely happy human being until now. The joy of this life is missing, I’m having terrible thoughts

Just wanted to check up how everyone’s doing, and how they’ve been feeling.

Just started following this subreddit and noticed multiple posts of people who just found out they are positive for HSV. Didn't want to be yet another person to do that, but I really need to vent out because I don't know who else to talk to.

Im 32m, just found out I'm HSV-1 positive (oral from what I can tell) as part of routine annual health checkup. I suspected since I had a cold sore last year but I guess I was living in denial. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since then. I've stopped doing anything. I haven't prayed once since I found out because I feel ashamed and disgusted and dirty and stopped going to the mosque for iftar. I've been in bed crying about this. I've been looking to get married and had just started talking to people. It was already extremely difficult because I went though a divorce recently. Wasn't much of a marriage and lasted 1 month. I had showered her with love and affection but she was a narcissist and decided to end the marriage for no good reason (found out later she was having an affair). I was devastated and spiraled out of control and ended up doing something really stupid. I got myself back together and finally got the courage to start talking to people for marriage again.

However hard it was, I was starting to be hopeful. And now I feel like I've been hit by a train. Whatever hope I have is over. I don't even see the point in living anymore. My entire goal in life and desire has been to have a family that I can take care of, and live a decent life as good Muslims. All of that has come crashing down. I just don't know what to do anymore. There's no way I can break the news of being divorced and that I have herpes. Any one of these would have been tricky to navigate but with both of these I'm almost guaranteed to not find anyone.

I've gone through multiple scenarios in my head and I can't figure out how I can even have this conversation with anyone. I've considered doing the shitty thing and not disclose this (because 80% of the adult population has it and whatever) but I just won't be able to do it. The guilt of hiding something like this will eat me up from inside. I don't even know what I'm expecting here except just to vent out. The thought of just ending it keeps coming to my head but I'm too much of a coward to do that also.

I've read everywhere that according to hadith you should hide your sins because if Allah had hidden your sin for you, you have no right to reveal it. With this I feel like Allah had made sure this sin of mine will not be hidden. I feel completely abandoned and hopeless. Like this is what I deserve. Everything that had happened in my life seems to have led up to this. I feel like I was destined to be sad and alone all my life.

I would really appreciate being able to talk to someone here who has gone through this. I don't really know what I want to talk about that I haven't already said here but I just feel like talking to someone about this.

Asalam aleikoum Any sisters here that got married to someone who doesn't have herpes? If so kindly msg me privately I have some questions to ask.

Asalam aleikoum

If a women wants to marry a man who doesn't have herpes what are the ways to avoid giving it to him?

Anyone here in this situation?

Assalamu Alaykum everyone,

I hope everyone is well and you've had a good start to Ramadan. I thought it would be nice to do a check in every now and then. Maybe, at the end of every week where we can share our experiences, thoughts or even challenges.

I thought I'd kick off with a few questions. How was your fast today? Did you find it easier than expected, or just as you remember from last years? Here in the UK, iftar is at 6pm which is both nice but stressful. I don't have to wait long to break my fast but at the same time having to do a last minute scramble after work to prepare iftar is hectic.

Do you have a specific plan this Ramadan? I aim to complete the Qur'an insha'Allah. I'm also revisting the seerah, although Yasir Qadhi is a controversial figure with some strange views, I do recommend his seerah series on YouTube!

I pray that we all can make the most of this blessed month. I ask that you do not forget to make lots of dua our brother and sisters in Gaza, Sudan and the rest of the world. Let’s support and inspire each other with our reflections, I'll try do a check in will at the end of the every week insha'Allah.

Is there anyone has experienced with false positive diagnosis?

And what is the most reliable method to get yourself tested with?

Is IgG & IgM diagnosis accurate?

Helps needed.. thanks

What would you consider an absolute deal breaker when it comes to marriage?

I have given sti tests on 13 th,January2024 and all came neagtive...even for hsv 1 Igg came negative. My mind didn't believe it , then on feb16 I have given the all sti tests from another lab not the same where I gave the test for first time and all came negative even for hiv, but hsv1 Igg came positive. I was shocked that how come the results came from negative to positive. Then i again after a week on feb20, I have given HSV PCR dna test, where they took my blood sample from vein and those results are negative. Then really confused because Dna test looks for the actual DNA of the virus. But then again on the feb25 I have given Western blot test for hsv1 and hsv2 igg test their hsv1 Igg got positive.

Really confused. I have an exposure 5 years back. After that I didn't have any exposure.

This results I got to know after my rista is fixed. Don't know my match is fixed and i have my engagement is fixed on May 2024. My taughts are killing me. I have the hsv and i would transmit to the girl whom I am going to marry. I wanted to tell her my medical condition before getting married. If she could accept this.? Really stuck here in the situation that whom to tell and how to tell. I haven't met the girl yet. Don't know really stuck in the middle of the sea. Many situations at once, if the girl won't accept, I would say my parents to stop my marriage. I wanted to talk to her about this. Really facing anxiety day to day on this.

Assalamualaikum, I'm from Malaysia. Just found out 3 weeks ago that I have herpes. And I'm still struggling with coping with this new way of life. I find it very difficult here because, most of people in Malaysia don't really know or have a little knowledge what herpes really is and what it do to a person. And most of people here weren't even tested themselves and just assuming that they might be free from it.. in fact we here only need to be check for HIV before getting married.. not the entire std. I am very frustrated how some people approach this condition differently.. please pray for me so that I could face this phase with full of patience.