I don't know that this is truly the right sub to ask this but I know a good portion of you all are good at thinking things through, solving what I call algebra problems in thinking, finding the value of the unknown variable in the middle when you think you already know the beginning and the result. I've become good at this too since i started some mindful practices 2y ago but I think this one may be too big or too different than what I'm used to figuring out so I'm asking for other thinkers/figure-outers.

I'm mid 40s, when I was young elementary school age, my parents were sorta hippyish in some ways and sorta conservative in others protecting me from sex, drugs, violence and bad words on tv. I think maybe though they thought of violent historical/factual programs as "different" and ok. Possibly to instill some type of anti-war sentiment in me. My dad watched lots of war stuff. I saw lots of bomb and bullet combat deaths on tv but the executions were the things I remember most. Regardless of one's thoughts on the death penalty on or off the battlefield, what I saw with a very young mind was someone captured and helpless who knows it's coming being killed by a group of people that they in the moment posed no danger to.

I can remember one quite vividly from probably before I was old enough to read, multiple guys with their hands tied behind their back and with an 8 foot tall bamboo pole tied to their hands behind their back, pole standing up in a vertical fashion. The pole was not fastened to anything else. A soldier would grab the pole and use it to guide/push the guy from behind to a spot where they would give the pole a quick shove knocking the guy to his knees and then shooting him in the back of the head. He gets shut off like a light switch and falls dead face first to the ground. I'd seen a few dramatized state executions (electric chair) on tv too. The guard comes to get the guy out of his cell "I'm afraid it's time buddy" is my one of those I don't forget.

The picture of that bamboo one especially has popped up in my mind my whole life. I've never until recently thought of this as maybe a bad thing maybe affects me. But it's quite obvious from what I just typed that it has in some way. What do you all think of very young kids seeing things like this keeping those memories for life as vivid as my first kiss?

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0QToeHgcLYRbGxwwOAiSS2?si=aad87d3b4e354d66

You experience suffering, that is, pain and uncertainty not because you have done something wrong or because there is something wrong in the system of the Universe or because some one else has done something wrong or because you have lesser capacity or knowledge – but because some error has entered in our understanding.

All pain and uncertainty is psychological discomfort, if not immediate physical danger. One escapes, covers up this discomfort with solaces, complaining. To become aware of this diversion lets the error dissolve. Original energy takes over.

Hi, my inconsistency in the gym/movement is something I’ve been struggling with for many years. It’s something that gives me a lot of shame. My body craves the movement but I struggle with following through and I’ve been having such a difficult time understanding why. When I work out consistently, I love the way I feel. My body feels less tense and I love the challenge of it. But I also just stop and I struggle to push myself to start again. I’ve been thin my whole life and recently I’ve been gaining weight due to my lack of movement and I feel now more than ever the need to get a handle on fitness as a lifestyle but I just can’t break through. I’ve started taking dance classes which I love and it’s made me realize I want to get more flexible. I told myself I would do regularly stretching and I have been just not as consistently as I’d like. I want to understand this deeper. What prompts can I use to understand this resistance on a deeper level? It’s something that I really want to do because I want more freedom and flow within my body. But it feels like such a mental challenge. I’m struggling to understand what’s wrong with me.

Mine is Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring:

A Buddhist fable of a baby and a monk on a floating home. It kept me invested the whole way through, helped me understand some deeper truths and made it easier to cultivate practice after watching it.

TLDR: I automatically leave any pain that isn't sudden/stabbing on read and never notice it. I've now gotten sick as a result. How can I try to notice it more?

So I have gotten myself pretty sick because I don't really register pain unless it's sudden or stabbing. A headache or soreness or whatever... I don't even really register it. A few weeks ago we found out my vision is a little fucked and that's because my brain is fucked. Everyone keeps asking "Are you sure you're not in pain?" because I probably should be. I'm staying in Emergency Department Observation for a second night. But I feel like I always do. If this is an emergency then I have just been living in an emergency as long as I can remember. LOL

I notice stabbing pain. Like I stepped on a nail. That hurt. But it didn't hurt having it just be there or pulling it out or walking on it was cleaned up. It's like I go "Well that's handled, let's leave it on read." Turns out that's not good.

I caught myself doing it during the lumbar puncture today. That came with a lot of new sensations. One of them was sort of painful at first but then it got demoted to "this is just how LPs feel and it is normal and expected." After that it was still a weird feeling I didn't like but it was kind of mildly unpleasant. I couldn't quite ignore it but I also didn't need to pay it too much mind.

ALSO: I can't remember pain. They keep asking for my pain level on a scale and A) there's not really any pain. and B) All pain feels like it's the same severity. Especially in my memory. I can't identify any of the injuries I've had as being more painful than others. It's just an even that happened. So that question is really hard for me. IDK if mindfulness can help with that at all though.

My mother keeps disregarding my boundaries, ive asked her to not call the clothes I wear crazy as its a form of representation of myself, yet she agrees and then the next day she will humiliate me before I walk out the door and I feel terrible. I finally cracked and got angry with her and said some hurtful things such as her partner wont speak to her because of this very same reason of her negativity.

It’s really taxxing to keep on having to uphold boundaries that are not being respected at all, im thinking of just stone walling her and living my best life. What would you guys do? Also I know I live in her home and I have to respect her but am I forced to conform and abandon my authentic self? (I plan on moving out soon)

Hi everyone. I don't know how to begin but I have been a very hectic year - months of continuously doing one thing to another. I work full-time, I have to travel for work to another city a few times a month, i take a language class that takes up two whole evenings a week. All of which I am enjoying thoroughly but I am constantly stressed and tired and cranky at the same time. I've been feeling overwhelmed and am constantly thinking about the next item on my to-do list.

Now to come to my question - I've had three bad falls this year. First time, I fell stepping out of a store and twisted my right ankle. Figured I was wearing a sandal with no support. Another time I walked into a metal pole because I was distracted. Next time, I fell down the stairs, head first outside my apartment door, while trying to get out of the house in a hurry. I hit my head on the floor and the doctor said I was really lucky to have not suffered a concussion or broken anything. Today, I sprained my ankle and fell while getting off my bike at a stop sign and it's bad. .

These things have been happening to me all my life but they were always too minor for me to pay attention to. I always shrugged them off saying I'm clumsy. But specially with these two last falls, I am quite scared about my health.

Each time, now that I look back, I was rushing and in a hurry and I was thinking about something else. I am reaching out to ask for help because I feel that mindfulness could help me be more focused and do things more slowly.

tldr: i have had three minor accidents this year and each time because I was distracted and thinking about other things (good or bad) and not fully present in the moment. I am now scared for myself because with each accident, I've been increasingly more injured.

This Is It. https://pxt.pinealxt.com/ds/presentation/index.php#aff=loganheab

I seem to have lost understanding of most people.

I see it most oftenly among people my age(21-26). Listening to others, feeding off of those motivational bullshit videos, rich people advice, relationship advice... I see people collect all the knowledge, ideas, information and skills on the planet, yet they do not act. I see people not knowing a thing jump head first, some fail, yet some succeed - Knowledge without experience is merely philosophy; experience without knowledge is ignorance. - Not wary of the preacher most bite into his bullshit. Not knowing the sacred irony of this life that those who preach love do not have love, those who preach peace lack peace and those who preach god... Really need god.

There are sacred ironies and causal relationships that cannot be broken and will persist as cynical clichès until either society crumbles or chatgpt has had enough of my psychotic ramblings and decides to go on a thanos quest to bring peace to the planet.

What I am trying to get at is the fact that a lot of people have completely disregarded themselves and decided to wage war on the only person GENUINELY interested in their well being - their own damn self. "IT's YOU VS YOU" "PAIN IS JUST PAIN" - that type of 'hustle' cope bullshit that the vast majority are consuming so that they do not crumble under their own insecurities.

It is not you vs you, it's you and you versus everything else trying to put you down, manipulate you and toy with you. So just about 95% of the world right now.

The moment you decided to wage a mental war against yourself you're doomed. "YOU NEED CONCRETE EVIDENCE TO SUPPORT YOUR OWN MENTAL PICTURE OF YOURSELF BECAUSE AFFIRMATIONS DO NOT WORK" who said that ? Some rich guy selling a course..? Is he going to give you that concrete evidence? Only for 500$ when the 'actual' value is 500000000000000$?

You don't need a 10pack to feel good, you don't need a lamborghini aventador to feel enough, you don't have to be 6'+ to be granted permission to carry confidence unconcealed, you don't gotta be making 100k USD+ minimum to be granted access to the dating world.

Reality exists in your head. Anything else is just pure copius bullshit.

The only true way to change your life is to change your mind, your identity. That doesn't start with becoming a millionaire.

Jim Rohn has a saying I'll tattoo on my ass one day - “If someone hands you a million dollars, best you become a millionaire, or you won't get to keep the money.” -

Life comes from you it doesnt happen to you, if you're dead inside... Too bad life will suck until you perish. You want a better life? change. Change who you are. Kill who you are.

The quality of your thoughts determine the quality of your life. A thought that has been thought too often, becomes a habbit, a habbit becomes a lifestyle and a lifestyle becomes an identity. Let me provide an example a lot of people are familiar with :

If the 'love' of your life has decided that all of the sudden you dick is too short and that your best friend's is able to 'satisfy' her better... and you're dumb enough to have made her the sole priority of your life.. You wound up thinking about her daily. She's getting dicked down, but you still thinkin abt her, obsessing, being sad, imagining happily ever after scenarios. You wake up sad, you work sad, you go to sleep sad.

This goes on for 1 month, by this time frame it has become a habbit. Your brain produces chemicals associated with that depressive feeling, after a certain time period the body takes over. The same way you're breathing without thinking about it, you'll be thinking about her without thinking about her producing an insurmountable amount of depression proteins. And before long you'll be grumpy, salty and ridden with hatred individual. - If you want a really good explanation of this read "Breaking the habbit of being yourself - by Joe Dispenza"

The thoughts that you think determine your life. IF you can convince yourself that you're the person you want to be and you emotionally experience that event and you hold it in your head long enough, it will happen.

You will change your external surroundings by changing your internal surroundings.

Ok. had to get this out of me. Bye.

Hello everyone, I just started learning about the topic of Mindfulness and I made a small web to to help me with the mindfulness breathing. I would love to get your feedback about it in order to improve it and make it more useful in future revisions. :)

Link: https://ivanr3d.com/demo/breath/

Thanks!

Hi all, wonderful and (mindful !!) redditors.

I really love meditating. However, I have a very hectic life.

So here is what happens with me- I am very tired in the evening after I come back from work. When I meditate, I sit up straight on my bed (lower back pain issues). But no matter what, I end up dozing off, and then I wake up, I restart, but then I start falling asleep again. It is a very unsuccessful meditation- if I can even call it that.

The same thing happens in the morning. I do sit up straight and meditate but I keep falling asleep because I am so tired and groggy.

I can only meditate nicely when I am well rested- and that is on Sundays- that's when I have my only weekly holiday.

What is your meditation routine like, if your life is hectic?

Do you have any "hacks" you would like to share?

Thanks in advance!

I'm going on year 5 of mostly just using some mindfulness techniques that I "created" to manage them and looking to chat with that are also.

The major way I do it is just telling myself it's ok, that it's just pollen and there is no need to have such a strong reaction. I'll sneeze a few times now and then. Typically have low grade other issues but it's nothing compared to what I used to deal with. I used to have to take medication daily and now I take it maybe 4-6 times during the height of grass season when it's just so overwhelming that I can't deal.

I've also learned how to clear sinus congestion at will and other stuff.

Anyone else?

This person I know can get emotional abusive towards me, and when they are, I can feel dissociative, shitty, and dizzy. I can at times get mean to when they tell me a negative thing about myself.

They are really negative person and not a positive in my life. I want to get along with them but it doesn’t feel like it’s working.

I cry allot and it’s affecting my work, all I do is want to sleep. I already have depression so this adds to it. I have gone no contact before many times but it’s hard honestly.

So instead of trying to leave over and over, how can I just let them say whatever and not let it affect me?

How can I have the mindset “he’s being negative and saying things I don’t like, so let me step away and not bother until after work” or even bother unless they apologize

I'm a 24 year old male who's always suffered from depression and anxiety. Just last year, I found out it was caused by undiagnosed ADHD, and have ever since been in treatment (bupropion and Vyvanse).

I've had ups and downs, I smoke weed daily and drink 2 - 3 times a week. I've also had a period of experimentation with substances, mostly psychedelics, and that changed my outlook on life. However, throughout the last couple of years, I have felt things getting worse: more anger, sadness, feelings of being overwhelmed and well, all in all life's losing its sense. I put on a lot of weight, I have gone back to old insecurities and life in general feels like a lost battle, nothing makes me happy. Every plan I make is postponed until I just give up and feel like garbage.

Today I saw something on tv about meditation and thought: "I should try that, like, right now". At that moment, I was feeling as I do everyday. Overwhelmed, tired, sad, angry and numb, all at once. I closed my eyes and drifted away. It felt... Peaceful. I have no idea how long I was away for, but there were two specific moments in which it felt like I fell into a trance, or asleep, like that hypnagogic hallucination state, you know?

I'm not gonna act like it's a miracle and I feel awesome, but I feel weirdly proud of myself for doing that, and I wanna do it again. What would you recommend? Books, techniques, any word of help will be appreciated. I'm not gonna pretend this is gonna save my life, I know I'm the only one who can do that for myself, but I really felt some potential in there.

I'm going to try it again before going to bed later today, and intend on doing it again tomorrow. Any comments are welcome, what's your experience, did it help you with existential dread and with the whole living a sad and miserable life thing? I wanna take control of my life again, I did it once, but I'm failing at doing it again. I hope this can help guide me somewhere.

The year I’m specifically stuck on is a certain time in 2022. I feel like that year was one of my best years ever because of what and how much happened during that time. It was such a beautiful year to me and I can vividly remember and recall events that occurred. I even have a playlist dedicated to that year, and the songs that I played during that time. I also vividly remember what specific songs were mostly playing during a certain month/time of that year. Anyway, had some shit happen, and I haven’t been truly happy since 2022. After 2023 came around, everything went downhill. My life feels like shit now. Anyway, I’m not here for pity, but what I’m trying to figure out is how to get out of this toxic loop. Everyday I yearn and go back to 2022 in some way, whether that’s by listening to the music I listened to during that time, looking back at old memories, or simply remembering specifically what happened that year in certain moments. I try so hard to make life feel like that time again, or at least similar, but of course, I always fail. How do I get out of this negative loop? It’s been detrimental to my mental health and well-being and I can’t seem to let it go no matter how much I try.

Today, I watched "Trainspotting" again, a movie about heroin addiction. It got me wondering if constantly engaging with my inner thoughts is similar to that kind of addiction. It's not as extreme, but it still affects our lives and can be addictive. What do you all think, especially those who've dealt with drugs or seen "Trainspotting"?

Weird question. Sorry if it’s in the wrong spot. I have been going through a time and I just want peace and happiness. A lot of my relationships are strained and I just feel at a loss. It sounds like I’m the common denominator but I don’t know how? I don’t feel like that I’m even half as bad as how the other parties in my relationships are treating me. Am I delusional or are my boundaries causing a ruckus?

I’m considering just shutting up. Keeping quiet. No opinions on anything. No heavy engagement with people besides my husband and my child and just sit back and kind of see what triggers me and what happens when I feel like I need to react? Staying off social media and focusing on myself. Not telling people what’s going on in my life, not showing anger or emotions in certain situations. I’m a fairly social, outgoing, not afraid to speak up most of the time but I feel that’s going nowhere for me.

I want to be poised, positive, happy and I want people to want to see me and like me? I feel like taking a step back and just observing and trying super hard to be how I want to be is like the best way to “reset” myself. I just hope I don’t wreck who I am all over. Thoughts?

I've always been a gloomy, negative person. Even in my best moments, there's this lingering darkness I perceive in everything. Unconsciously, I always feel like everything is wrong with the world and my life.

I was reflecting about it. My negativity is always juxtaposed with the life I imagine I must be living. A life where everything has finally reached perfect order. What does that idealized idea of life actually represent? Is it actually so important that I have the perfect body? Do I really need to be able to maintain perfect habits for the rest of my life? Is my chronic procrastination really the prelude to my downfall?

Do I really want all of that? What is it really there that I want? Well, easy. It's acceptance. I don't want my life to be perfect. I want to be able to accept life. All of that is just the requirements I gave to life to be deserving of acceptance.

And what is acceptance? The lack of resistance. And that's where it hit me. I'm resisting everything that exists between land and sky. Every tiny detail. I'm resisting life itself. I resist existence.

I don't really know how to stop. But I'm glad I now know what I need. Acceptance. I guess I just have to allow Acceptance to come in slowly. Starting with the trivial things and growing into more life changing aspects.

If you have any advice, story and insight I'll gladly hear it.

Hi y'all 👋 I've been working on a self-help guide, & one of the first stages is breath control. I've developed a few really cool techniques but none of them were really good for helping me get OUT of a spiral, only regain breath control AFTER my spiral.

It made meditation really difficult becuase I have a very frantic breathing pattern & if I get too "relaxed" my body will instinctively feel uncomfortable & tense me up a bit, so I've only ever been able to "half-meditate."

But today, I got a really triggering call from a family member who asked if I wanted to pick up my mother (shout out all the ab/s/ babies, love 🧿🍀) & I immediately had to hold my breath because if I didn't I would have immediately burst into tears. But I tried my breathing technique, & it worked so well that halfway through the call I threw a fist up in the air in celebration because the technique finally worked! I was able to regain excellent breathing control & end the call gracefully & cheerily, & I was so happy to have such an excellent story to tell my therapist 😅☺🥳

So here it is, I call it the zigzag:

Breathe out once, to clear out room for more air in your lungs. Breathe in twice. Breathe out three times. Breathe out four times. And so on, the pattern should be pretty self-explanatory from there.

While inhaling oxygenates your blood & gears your body for action, exhaling activates your parasympathetic nervous system & relaxes you. By exhaling first, you allow yourself to settle into the atmosphere before you begin your breathwork. By inhaling twice, you ensure you bring in more oxygen for quick reaction to the setting.

The zigzag is to be used for panic attacks, to bring one back to a state of mindfulness. If one does not wish to be alert, they can flatten it, & Exhale the same # of times as they Inhale. If someone wants to hyperactivate their parasympathetic nervous system (during intense meditation or before going to sleep, say) then they just Exhale twice Inhale once.

So far the only person that has validated this technique os my cousin 😅 but I don't really have many others I can tell. I hope this technique can be applied successfully, whether in meditation, exercising (which is when I mainly use it), or when trying to pull themselves out of a panic attack of undue stress. Thanks for reading y'all 🧿✌🍀 thanks for making the world a softer place 🌟💛

Overthinking and anxiety feels like I'm stuck in a thick puddle where I can't seem to find a way to get out of it. I'm so into worrying and stressed mentally emotionally that I'm feeling exhausted. I'm supposed to find a solution to my problems but I'm doubting and overthinking. Stressing myself out even more. Not even sure if this is like imposter syndrome.

Hello everyone.

Firstly I would just like to state that this post isn't for my benefit but for my mothers.

To give some background my mother has been experiencing anxiety and panic attacks since the beginning of this year and over the last couple of months with the help from health care professionals (MIND, NHS Mental Health Team etc.) and medication she has been fighting it. She's much better than she was at the beginning of the year (shouting, hitting herself and talking about running away etc.) but lately she has been fixating on these thoughts in her head and just won't stop.

My mum has horses and has had them longer than I've been alive (I'm 26) and goes to her horses two times a day for a few hours each time but lately she says she's been having theses thoughts like "Do I like the horses?" or "Do I enjoy the horses?" etc. and she has been fixating on these thoughts (saying it's the first thought in her head in the morning and when she goes to sleep) and is clearly effecting her mental state.

My family (me & my dad) have told her she needs to learn some coping mechanisms/ techniques to stop her being fixated on these thoughts or learn to accept these are thoughts you'll have due to your mental state and just accept the thought and learn to ignore it.

I belive she's made great progress since the start of the year, there have obviously been ups and downs but she's definetly better than she was and I just don't want her to go back to square one. I know it's selfish but I just couldn't deal with going through that all again (I was having anxiety attacks myself dealing with all this) nor do I think my dad could (especially since he has mental health issues that he takes medication for).

I was wondering if anyone here could possibly provide coping mechanisms to help her fight these thoughts. I think she already has CBT therapy over the phone and she has mentioned the subject of these thoughts but they just tell her to ignore them which no matter how hard you tell she just can't do.

We think we are so moral. With our “high” standard for proper code of ethics.

High code of ethics is probably the definition of grace- as in, even though you have the power to exploit- you use it to do good.

But in the end it’s all selfish. Why?

Because we do it, not because we are that good, but because our tribe is held accountable to these standards. It’s the main consensus of behavior.

The simbiotic relationship between various species of insects.

But how rare it is that you actually help out of pure grace? Or how often? And how can you even tell? That you are not acting upon some credit allocation to your god or whatever?

Kinda sad to me.

Ive lost so many close friends that it is hard to even know how to make new ones or have the effort to. I see a lot of events in the city where I live but I’m too nervous to go to them incase something happens again. Any advice on overcoming bad friendships?

Background:

Friend 1: we were best friends in university for 3 years. At the start of my final exams i didn’t have much time to spend with her so she got angry and just locked herself in her room. When I knocked on the door and texted, she didn’t want to hang out and when I was trying to study she would always play loud music until 1am.

Friend 2: another university friend, we were best friends for 4 years. We studied abroad and came back and we both got boyfriends abroad. Hers dumped her when we returned, mine didn’t, and since then she turned on me, only speaking to me when needing answers for her homework and went to bars next to my house but never ever asked me again.

Friend 3: whilst I was abroad, I made a friend who I did everything with. I got sick for a month and couldn’t drink. When I recovered she stopped asking me to events but sent me snapchats saying „good night with the girls!“. I asked her for coffee that day at 2pm and she texted me at 3 saying she forgot and accidentally went to the gym with her new friends.

Friend 4: a best friend from school. Best friends for 10 years. She started sleeping with a guy who didn’t want a girlfriend. Me and my other friend from school both had boyfriends and she was probably annoyed or jealous. She ghosted us completely after ten years. After 5 months of ghosting she met us and sat with her back to me and insulted my relationship the entire time.

Friend 5: another best friend from school. Completely ghosted me after I got a good new job, I moved city and messaged her 12 times that year to meet when I was home. No reply. Messaged back a year later after seeing I was out with another friend on social media.

Friend 6: this one hit the hardest. We did everything together. 4-5 times a week. My boyfriend and her boyfriend both split. After this, she got annoyed that me and my ex started talking again and started harassing me „why are you texting him? Why are you on his profile picture again“. She left me out of every single event and posted it on social media. When I texted to try to meet she would respond 10 days later.

The worst part about all these friendships, they all tried to come back after a while, with no explanation and no sorry, as though I should just forgive them.

I've been mind chatting my whole life, with my mind always in the future, never in the present moment.

But recently, at 21yo I've started to have some heavy sleep-maintenance insomnia, and It's due to my mind thinking non-stop on absolute random things when I try to fall back asleep.

I feel like I have absolute zero control over it, there's no amount of breathing or melatonin that can shut my mind down. It feels like saying to myself "don't think of a blue elephant" and my mind doing the exact oposite.

What's the absolute guide to mindfulness? Where can I find it?

I love the Innertune app and how it reads the affirmations to you. But it’s limiting. Are they any apps that are similar? I have a few I use but they don’t read to you and I like how you can be doing anything

I keep making careless mistakes or saying things before fully processing it etc. and it’s hurting the people around me. Are there any resources (podcasts etc.) targeted specifically at becoming more considerate towards others?

They say: "don't ask for it, don't think of it and it'll happen"
but at the same time
they say: "think of it, make it your life and be obsessed, do everything to make it happen and it'll happen"

These two sound contradicting and confusing.
Is there a different perspective?

I feel like there is a different “person” in me that is not my thoughts. My mind goes silent and I feel like I’m flowing with life. Can anyone relate to this experience?