I’ve always been a social person but these past few weeks I’ve been feeling lonely and empty at the same time. I have loving friends and family who is i know there for me but I don’t think even them can help me. I lay in my bed for almost 1week now after long weekend/restday from school, even when I’m at school i always feel loneliness inside of me I always disassociate if that’s the right term. Nothing makes me happy anymore, i want to do things at the same time i feel like it would just be a waste of time and nothing will change. I feel like i’m in a dark corner of a small box and can’t escape or talk. I cry every single night wishing things would go back to normal. How do i stop this feeling?

Has anyone had success in using mindfulness to break bad habits? I’ve been looking into somatics (which is just mindfulness + movement) as a potential way to stop habits that don’t serve me. I figure that if I can really be embodied, that maybe my behavior will reflect that. Has anyone ever tried this?

I loved these books and am looking for more recommendations along these lines or rooted in Buddhism. I prefer books that aren’t tied to organized religion but don’t mind a few references. Thank you!

Long story short, I am in a very high stress job where essentially my success boils down to decisions of others that’s totally out of my control (high-level executive recruiting). The unknown and uncontrollable becomes far too stressful at times and because basically my livelihood and ability to make a living depends on this. It’s really hard to disconnect. Has anyone been through something similar and found techniques that work well to not stress so much about something that is sort of really important for my life?

I’ve been scouring the AppStore for a bell that can go off every hour to bring me back to center . Seems silly but all the ones I’ve found require you to have your phone off silent - my phone is forever on vibrate and I’m not willing to change that lol - I hope I articulated this well and that someone can point me - I’ve used plum village and the “mindfulness bell”

I’m curious if anyone else struggles to stay in the present when others are around. I would love some perspectives and advice on how to overcome this obstacle.

In the past year I’ve made significant progress in extending my mindfulness practice beyond seated meditation.

But it totally goes to shit as soon as I’m spending time with anyone, at home, at work, at social events, etc. No matter how much I start with the intention, I become lost in thought quickly and can’t return to stability or awareness until I’m alone again. It’s not just during conversations, either. It’s whenever anyone is around, with the exception of strangers. I don’t have seem to have this problem in public amongst strangers.

Is this a common problem? Or am I uniquely emotionally dysregulated, getting triggered and dissociating an abnormal amount when in social situations?

Either way, how can I approach this obstacle more skillfully?

This exercise completely changed my life, I thought it was way too simple to work but the results I got from it were incredible. I feel way lighter, calmer and peaceful whereas before I was a complete emotional mess and was trying different anti depressants where none of them worked. My doctor recommended I try this and I'm so happy I have it a chance I will not be needing anti depressants anymore and I'm not going to lie at the beginning I thought the calmness wouldn't last bit it's been 6 months and I feel better than ever and this is my go to exercise when I start feeling weird. It makes the emotion grow stronger in your awareness and then it hits a peak and just evaporates.

Incredible exercise I recommend anyone to try it if you're struggling with suppressed emotions that pop up like I was or even if you're just having a bad day you can try this to help unwind.

Thought I'd share it after what it's done for me, hopefully this helps someone.

I feel like my ocd causes me to shift my irritation towards small things.

Like for example I was playing an online game and had to logout before the game ended. It said that if I left it would affect my game rep. It really bothered me and I had intrusive thoughts of yelling at my family member because of that.

It's not just that. Spills and messes cause me irritation to a point of freaking out or melting down. Luckily I have only does this once.

Even spelling mistakes drive me crazy.

Have anyone else experience This? How do you cope?

Is it perfectionism? How do I fix this?

A close friend of mine, whom I am comfortable being affectionate with, was watching me while I was driving. I could see it out of the corner of my eye and my immediate thought was: “oh gosh I hope I don’t have a chin hair sticking out or look gross from this angle. Shit he can probably see so many things I’d rather him not see…” 🫤

I immediately noticed the pain attached to the thoughts and went into observer mode (where I simply listen and notice what’s going on inside vs experiencing it like I just was).

💡Once I entered this observer state, I realized that these thoughts were rooted in a subconscious belief that I needed to change my body (or anything really) to be acceptable or loveable.

I used to think to myself - if someone can have the most beautiful woman and she can be wise, nurturing, intelligent, then there’s no need for me 😔. <——— THIS IS THE CULPRIT TRIGGERING THESE FEELINGS!

❌ But WOW was I so wrong! ❌ And this moment of presence just helped me see it with divine clarity!

As I write this my heart is wanting to burst with joy because I see it all so clearly and if this is how you feel, I want you to see it too!!

💡Because here’s what I also know: by being aware of the programs or beliefs that attract these types of thoughts or feelings of insecurity, I then have the power to change them! So that’s what I did. This feeling of joy blooming in my chest as I witness this painful inner experience is happening because I know I’m on the precipice of FREEDOM from a pain that has burdened me my whole life…🥹🥹🥹

I realized that in this moment of clarity I didn’t agree with this narrative anymore and haven’t for a long time. But it’s been living on repeat deep in my subconscious from ALL of the times I believed it to be true. From all the times I looked at myself as if I’m something unacceptable because I don’t have perfect skin or a flat stomach.

Now I have an opportunity to change this belief because I’m aware of it! That’s exactly what happened — while in this moment of clarity, I received a NEW, productive, generous perspective about my body insecurities…

I realized that the things I feel insecure about or hate myself for or the flaws I see on my skin, my shortcomings…they’re not reasons for someone to not choose me. They’re not even reasons to feel ugly or less than!!!! That has just been one way of looking at them and thankfully, our sustained attention is what creates facts for our lives.

They’re 🌤️ opportunities for me and whoever is with me to choose love! They’re not the easiest things to love at all but I believe that’s the point! Every time I decide to love them, something expands in my chest and my body rewards me with something words can’t express!

Every time I choose to love someone and their shortcomings, every time I choose to accept them as they are and still love them (I still have firm boundaries between us tho 😼), I can’t help but feel LIFTED. I feel ACTIVATED! This light inside gets turned up another notch and I think THAT is the point!

This is the medicinal feeling of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE and it came to me from a moment of presence. From a moment of choosing to understand myself and witness myself with compassion. From a moment of choosing to love myself by not entertaining the negative thoughts.

And the same is possible for you. Give it a try. Tune in and notice with the intent to protect yourself. With the intent to love yourself no matter what. That love we seek from others is all within us. And once we tap into it, others can’t help but reflect it or let us go if they can’t.

💡 What is an insecurity you struggle with and how can you respond to it in a way that invites in acceptance of who you are now? 🫶🏻

I think this movie will resonate here, found it refreshing and grounding.

Link to an interesting thread about it: https://old.reddit.com/r/TrueFilm/comments/1azk4na/for_those_that_have_seen_perfect_days_2023/

Sometimes you don't realize how far you've come until you look back and see where you've started...that's exactly how I felt yesterday.

I discovered my old notes from 2014, where I had listed resolutions for the person I wanted to be. It was about my life in general: health, relationships, career, hobbies.. It was the only time I'd ever made a resolution board, and honestly, I didn't do anything with it. I just put my thoughts on paper. But yesterday, when I looked at those notes, I was amazed by how much I've already achieved.

I'm not talking about massive success, it's the small things, like carving out time for my hobbies, having a small family of my own, a garden to enjoy our late dinners in, a steady exercising routine.

So I was truly inspired by how far I've come. Yet at the same time I couldn't shake off this feeling of sadness, because I hardly ever looked back to even notice it.

I often feel like I'm not doing enough and that I should try harder, optimize more, and grow faster. It's never enough, and always needs to be better. Yet, here I am, actually making it happen. Not fully, but quite visibly. I am growing, but these changes are hard to see in the day-to-day grind.

So it was a moment of inspiration for me and reminded me how important it is to look back more often, to celebrate what I've done and not get stuck with what I still would like to do. It was truly moving for me, and I wanted to share it - maybe it'll spark a similar moment for someone else, will help to appreciate the journey and all the positive changes we make.

I keep catching myself getting sad over things that I know are going to be ok. I hear so many times how things work out in the end so deep down I know it will but I can’t just convince it will be even though I already know it will. The same goes for people sometimes I miss people that I didn’t even like. There’s people in my friend group that are arrogant and just not a good person but then they moved away and I’m sad but in reality I know they weren’t good for me to even be around and I didn’t even like them so why. Another example was when me and my gf broke up bc she was not treating me good at all but I still got so sad and so down on myself. Deep down I knew if someone loved me they wouldn’t have done the things she did but I still can’t convince myself of it and I stay sad. I only see the good and can’t just remember all the bad things except when I’m high but I want to sober too.

I’m currently struggling to pay attention to things as well as remembering things and I think it’s partially due to lack of effort and partially due to whenever I hear a song or any music and it gets stuck in my head, it is louder than my internal dialogue for when I’m reading or forming sentences to say in my head ? Is this normal and I’m just overreacting or is there a way to stop it ? It’s nothing serious when I say voice in my head I mean the regular internal dialogue I just really need help

I need to become the best version of myself.

Hey! We all know life gets stressful, and art can be a fantastic way to unwind. I'm curious about how you incorporate art into your stress relief routine.

1. What's your favorite art activity when you need to relax?
2. Any specific materials or tools that you find particularly soothing?
3. Are there certain art techniques you turn to for calming down?
4. Have you ever leaned on art during a particularly stressful period?

Let's share what works!

Hi everybody, would like to know your ideas, experiences and perspectives on eating or not eating eggs, as well as the reasoning behind your choices. Being a vegetarian (I don't eat meat or fish), I frequently consume eggs since they help my body recover from weight training and provide me the strength to lift heavy weights. What are your beliefs, emotions, and habits when it comes to eating or not eating eggs? Also does it affect our meditation??

Does anyone else suffer from a dysfunctional family that centers around money, working alot and forced toxic positivey about doing stuff everyday to "improve your life"?

He doesn't understand my autism and had made no attempts to see the struggles it causes. Especially for burnout and exacerbating ocd flares

I know on the surface it's a good thing but in practice it becomes draining and depressing. My Dad used to drink and smoke alot but now never does drinking nor smoking. He may have the casual beer after a hard day of work but it's only one.

Now he spends his free time watching "self improvement" videos with people like Jocko Willinks and Tony Robbins and James Clear (Atomic Habits). Holding what they say is true due to hearing it from other successful people who made alot of money. He Believes in self discipline and "happiness is in the mind" type mindsets. He told me today to "get out of my comfort zone" and push yourself because "I'm not even trying".

For a while I did so too. I pushed myself alot trying to get a degree in computer science and then working full time in retail during summer breaks. But the anger and mental torment I got from pushing myself wore me down. Plus I had a streak of bad luck with prof teachers and was constantly stressed about passing 24/7. Ontop of that I had lazy roommates who were passive aggressive and touched my stuff while I was gone. I knew I should have said something bug I felt like there would be tension and I had enough of it.

Chronically anxious made me depress and it caused me severe burnout. I felt drained and dragging my feet trying to finish classes. I was mad and pissed off at the unfair circumstances I was in.

The work I did at the moment made no impact because now I have moved back in with my Dad who is a severe workaholic and is Disappointed by my lack of effort to even get out of bed at a reasonable time. I wake up so sad and I feel like he never understands why I'm so pessimistic.

I live in Canada where the economy is in shambles and buying a house seems like a "pie I the sky" sort of deal. I want to have goals but the OCD and depression make each day a drain as I wake up and do stuff then immediately feel like sleeping again.

I have a psychiatrist but they don't understand ocd and just hope the pills will work. I'm on 100 mg of zoloft, 50mg of regular seroquel in the day, 100mg of seroquel xr at night and 1mg of klonopin daily.

I try to help my Dad but then he always "moves the goal post" and gives criticism to my flaws then acknowledging all the work I do for him. Like yesterday I helped him out in the yard for 4 hours. But today I had to do homework so he complains I didn't help him at all today and ignores yesterday. Never grateful for what I do to help him.

He yells alot and "tells me to fuck off" which he says he doesn't mean it after. But it hurts when he yells and keeps going off. I even don't like bringing stuff up as he goes on and on about stuff. Good or bad. He just talks my ear off. If I don't do what he says and give him reasons he sees them as excuse and yells at me. Even him saying he's "talking nicely" is condensing and is out to judge me and make me feel guilty.

Just tonight I asked if I could quickly brush my teeth and he told me to "fuck off" because I was using up his time. He has only an hour of free time before going to bed and can't waste five minutes to let me brush my teeth as I get too tires after watching the show. So he yells and makes me feel bad. He doesn't even stay up the whole time we were watching the show so that's annoying.

I try to love him but his working attitude is insane. He goes to bed at 12am and wakes uo around 4am to either go to work which is an hour drive there and an hour drive back. Or he's doing paperwork. He complains that he hates it but "life is 80 percent bullshit and 20 percent fun". Which makes me even more pessimistic. I feel tired just listening to him about it. Even other topics as he goes on and on talking. Just doesn't know when to shut up.

My mom is not better. If I miss a day of my retail job due to ocd flare she tells me to "suck it up and go to work". She's a whole new can of worms but both have done their part to ruin my development.

Anyways that's my rant. Does anyone have similar parents? What have you done in terms of burnout and ocd? I take supplements Like Ashwagandha, L-theanine, gaba, magnesium bisglycinate, and 5-http.

I have read a bit of atomic habits and the daily stoic 366 meditations by Ryan Holiday. Please any advice would be helpful. Thanks and have a good day

Tdlr: parents work hard and push themselves. They place thar burden onto me and I got burnt out. Haven't recovered and their pissed. What should I do?

I am interested to know if the work that we do to learn to be aware of your mind allows you to notice when your mind starts to age and maybe develop dementia etc. Does awareness ever stop being a clear observer?

My sister was judging me on dressing on with green shorts and a camo shirt yet she said “you are going like that?” So I said “what’s wrong with what I’m going” she said that doesn’t match and the shorts are wet from water. Yet I kept shut but in reality I should’ve said this to her yet I’m typing it on Reddit lol. People who have to dress up and put makeup on or feel like a brand new person I’m glad you do that for yourself but in reality that’s not who are you. It’s who you wanna be , the simple reason I go out however I want is because I don’t tend to impress nor feel better about myself cause I always try to feel better nor mattee what I’m doing or what I’m wearing. I don’t to dress up or put facial stuff on to feel better and proud of myself yet I’m satisfied with being simple even if it’s not matching. Lol people’s mind are so entitled to looking good for themselves or even people when in reality we are always good yet our minds puts something in our head to change our appearance to feel better.god bless all of y’all 🙏🏽

Whenever I try to do this, I feel like I'm just reinforcing the emotions and creating more of it and making it last even longer than it needs to. Usually my first reaction is distracting myself from the negative emotions. But doing that somehow feels more right than just sitting through it. I guess it's just the pain of the negative emotions that I'm used to avoiding so sitting through it feels unbearable?

When I try to sit and process the feelings, let's say anger, I just get more angry. When I try to sit through the anxiety and feel it, I get even more anxious and it feels like it lasts forever, until I distract myself again.

Might help to say I have quite severe ADHD and we tend to become very overwhelmed by our emotions.. not sure if that plays a big role but just pointing out.

I do feel like I have supressed my emotions most of my life and it might have caused some lasting negative effects, but it does feel so counterproductive to sit through it. Maybe it's just that I'm not used to it?

Went through a harsh divorce and custody battle a while back. Really soured me on people in general. Became a complete loner for a long time, didn't realize it but I had lost the ability to connect with people.

Been meditating regularly for a couple months now and I'm noticing that I can really connect with people now. When I'm interacting with people I can tell how they're feeling, really understand what they're communicating, I can tell when someone is insecure or has their own issues with connecting with people.

I'm noticing that there are a lot of people out there who can't or won't return the connection. Some of them are placing themselves above you or even below you and aren't connecting on a genuine level. Some of them are so trapped in their heads they don't fully notice you. Then every once in a while I come across someone who is fully present in interacting with me and a natural smile occurs on both our faces. So interesting. I've been actually looking forward to going out into the world and interacting with people lately which is brand new.

I really have no good reason for posting this it's just something I've noticed and I wanted to talk about it.

So I need to ask this question to someone who have actually been meditating for a long time and knows what they are talking about. I’ve always thought observing thoughts is a great way to manage anxiety thoughts. Noticing a thought in the mind, observing it, not analyzing it, but just accept it as a thought, and then return to the present. But recently I’ve been doing some research and heard from people that observing thoughts is not good, someone even said it can be dangerous in the long run and can make you go crazy if you don’t have a guided master that can help you. I guess this is because emotions that is attached to these thoughts “energy” can fuel these thoughts if you just observe them, and can lead you to going “crazy”. Instea, they claim to find the “source of the thoughts”. I’m new to mediating and this makes me pretty anxious cause whenever I observe my thoughts I feel like I’m doing everything wrong all of a sudden.

How are one supposed to deal with anxiety thoughts rising? Someone said “ignore them” but that sounds like pushing them away to me.

Please help me, because spiritual guides like Eckhart Tolle made me get into mediation and observing thoughts is a huge part of his education.

Is this true, or can someone enlighten me on this thing :) I’m going nuts thinking it’s not good to observe my thoughts anymore, how do you even find the source of the thoughts, and why is that necessary when you can just observe, accept, smile to the thoughts, and let them run, and be present, while returning to your anchor point (breath in my case)

Appreciate if someone who actually have knowledge answered this cause I’ve read everywhere observing thoughts is good and after my recent discovery I’m CONFUSED :)

Not sure if this is going to make sense. Recently I have been working on healing trauma. It’s kind of hard to stay present when working through past emotions.

I’m not sure how to make this make sense, but when I think of like “they hurt me, I’m so hurt” it brings me stuck in the past and it’s harder to be present in my life. When I think “I’m so sad for little me and how hurt she was” I’m able to stay more present. Does this make sense? Is the only fix to be able to feel these things while staying present just changing my thought patterns? I feel like I’ll have a week being really present and fully living life in the moment and then a week of just extreme brain fog and being so sad, not wanting to leave my house or be present with people, etc. It feels like this wall builds up and to tear it down I have to shift my emotions/thoughts to the present. Again I have no idea if this makes sense but if anyone has any tips on how to keep the feelings more in the present and not have that wall build up (feels like I avoid everything in present to wallow in the past kind of)

Just had this realization while at work remembering a previous relationship & feeling anger towards that person. I’ve been meditating for around 10 minutes every evening for around 2 weeks now. Ive missed days , but nonetheless progress. I feel the meditation has helped me In this realization. Ive heard quotes and read it in books that “you are not your emotions” so I already knew it but I feel like I made the realization more clear today

Those of us who have pets can often see them dreaming - that they run, fight, eat, cuddle... Then they wake up and see it was a dream, therefore they obviously know the difference between dreaming and reality. And probably the confusion sometimes if something is fact or dream / imagination, like we people also have.
I've read that people sometimes have to pinch themselves to make sure they're awake when something incredible happens (does any of you really do that, or is it a literary licence? that was question number one).
Question number two is (not how do animals pinch themselves to make sure they're not dreaming, but) what makes people so greatly superior in knowing imagination from fact? How do you practice this awareness?

I stumbled upon this explanation on meditation subreddit. What’s your opinion on this. I thought observing breath and thoughts was a partial thing about mindfulness meditation. I’m only interested so this is not the devalue his “perspective” i always thought it was not going back to routs and simply live in the now, and that’s what it’s all about, so why go back to the source, instead of accepting.

He wrote this:

“ You get it backwards. Thoughts are not the cause but the action. You want to go to the source of your problem not what the mind comes up with as a result of it. It is known as peeling an onion for a good reason. You do not want to peel, you want to shrink the onion.

That is why so many people still do senseless thoughtwatching after doing it for 20 years and somehow think they do something beneficial when only one dismissal of their practice keep them all riled up for weeks and months.

True meditational practice is not watching thoughts or breathes it is focusing your attention inwards. When you watch thoughts you focus your attention behind the eyes and when you watch your breathe it is mostly breast and the belly but also (later on) includes the nasal region.

So simply go for exercises that move the focus of your attention thoughout your body and you will have a way better meditational experience.

The only exception like I said is if you are under the guidance of a true master like Mr Tolle or Singer or whoever you choose. In that case the presence of the master does all the heavy lifting for you”

Incorporating mindfulness into daily communication involves actively listening to others, being fully present in conversations, and responding thoughtfully rather than reactively. It also entails being aware of our own emotions and reactions, and consciously choosing our words and tone to ensure clear and respectful communication. By practicing mindfulness in communication, we can foster better understanding, empathy, and collaboration in our interactions with others.

​

So I love meditation, LOVE IT. But some situations in my everyday life is triggering thoughts a lot. For example, I work at 7 eleven, and every time there are long waits for the customer to pay, I usually start to think about the quietness and awareness, and also sometimes when my friends is speaking in front of our friend group, I always think everyone around just want him to shut up, because he always talk a lot. These are events that always trigger these thoughts, even if the situation may not even be that bad as in my head.

So how do I deal with these situations? Do I just force my focus on my breath during these situations, and they eventually disappear, or do I watch these thoughts happen? I’ve tried to watch them but it doesn’t help, they always come back…