Has anyone experienced this before ? Really wanting to do something, but when in the process of doing it, your intuition is telling you otherwise, as if something feels off.

So I've always had this dream to move to this particular place (country different than my home country). I moved there without a job (I have savings), I know one or two friends, and I speak the country language. (I'm a 35yo f btw). Anyways everything could be fine, but I have this off feeling that something isn't right. It's also happening while I'm having job interviews there. I'm also suddenly finding myself really missing my family and longing to go back home and familiarity. I'm not even that attached to my home country, since I've only lived a total of 5 years. I'm someone who has travelled a lot (Come from an expat family, so have been travelling since 2yo and lived in 7 different countries) so I really do not understand what is going on. I'm someone who is used to going onto new adventures and have moved countries every 2/3 years. But somehow this doesn't feel like an adventure any more, more like an emotional turmoil. I wonder if maybe i'm just not tired of it all.

I got excited in the first few days of being in this different culture that I love, but the distance and also the difficulty to find a job with an adequate salary allowing me to live alone is taking a toll on me. However, back home, I don't really feel like I click with the people and feel quite depressed when I stay too long there. Has anyone experienced this before ?

I just broke up with my boyfriend of over a year and tomorrow is my birthday. I just want someone to wish me a happy birthday.

For those not aware of impastor syndrome it means a person doesn't feel confident or competent, regardless of what they achieve. They don't experience the joy of success because they are always waiting for their inadequacy and fraudulence to come to light.

Basically they don't feel good enough or feel like they dont deserve what they have

hello guys. i dont know if this is the correct subreddit (i apologize if it might be) but i needed help with something I've been struggling with for a long time. (its currently 3 am so cut me some slack on structuring sentences properly).

I've been feeling "really lazy" or have had lack of drive to do literally anything. the best ive been able to do was just rot in my bed like a sloth and keep scrolling. self care has especially been a battle for me (like hygiene, presenting myself nicely and shit). i don't even feel like pursuing my hobbies anymore (reading webtoons, watching anime, playing video games, working on new art).

i just feel so miserable living this way, it practically feels like having life on autopilot. i want to know what might be causing this, and how to approach this cause im really lost at the moment, i have no idea what is going on. so please help me out. I'll be really thankful (dont give cliche advice like waking up at 4 am and shit lol)

This could be such as, out of work long periods because of your health, or failed relationships because of it etc

If I don't work, am at school, with friends, or do sports.

How my free days look like:

Wake up, feeling whatever.

Want to do something but there is nothing exciting, turning a tv show on, but it's not enough pleasure

I need more, I want pleasure. There are not many thoughts there, just an urge.

Coffee helps short time, it gives me a bit pleasure, motivation, and hope for the future, tho I become a bit jittery.

By Not being able to satisfy this urge I descent into derealization and depression

Then the evening comes and I start to feel better, things start to feel a bit more satisfying as I am getting tired.

I was diagnosed with ADHD, I got ritalin which gave me insane long lasting anxiety. I am so lost in this.

Hiii. I haven’t been on reddit since my last story, I got the help I needed after my attempt and i i am recovering from self harm, although everything is going a little better. I got out of an abusive household. Sadly me and my ex boyfriend broke up. I dont know what to do. I depended on him a lot and he also depended on me. He broke up with me, I understand his perspective it just hurts knowing i wasn’t enough for him. I do love him so much and I know he loves me too but we both needed to go our separate ways. I feel lost but also i think being alone makes me happy. I always found comfort in my own despair and sadness. But right now i feel neutral, i still get those sad moments but i feel good. I just want it to be summer so i can visit my cousin or something and just have a good time. But for now i am going to work on myself and just let everything happen and guide myself through it. I hope everyone is doing good. Just know that as long as you try that is way more than enough.

Such as going back to school and changing how you reacted to certain events.

I’ll try to keep it short so here goes:

My friends feel fake, I’m losing people that I love, My family seems to support me less, I’m way too overwhelmed with life, I’m having nightmares about my first gf leaving me (we broke up and I haven’t dated again since; we’re still relatively good friends though but I still feel like I’m losing her as a friend too), And my no-no thoughts are getting worse.

I need help

Hi everyone, I've been feeling a bit disconnected from life lately. I don't feel depressed, but I often find myself stuck in my own thoughts, not fully experiencing the present moment. I want to feel more alive and engaged with the world around me.

Im 27, I have no life experience, I didnt experience life at all, I only am in my room for every day of the week besides going studying, I just feel bad and like I waste everything. I want to talk to people and to girls especially. I want to have sex and connection and just everything that comes with it. I dont know how to do that. I am having this feeling that it is too late or that I am in a deep regret when it is getting too late. My therapist told me to imagine that these moments of girls smiling at me, which sometimes happens, wont "run out" with me becoming older, because that is what is pressuring me. I felt better for about a minute when she said that and now I actually feel so much pressure because I dont get how to just live my life that I almost cut myself. Everytime I confront my true feeling of being so broken by not having ANY of the experience in life I wanted (for over 5 years now), I run away. I have no Idea anymore what to do. I dont know how to talk to girls. I know I could and I believe I could even be good at it. But I just dont fucking do it. I cant live with myself this way. I cant talk myself into that everything will come with time and I just dont get how am I supposed to live my life succesfully with everything that is going on (studying, etc.). I have no time because I need to learn so much so I dont fail (computer science). And at the same time I dont even have friends who I can go out with if I wanted to. I cant really comprehend how bad I even feel about this. I dont know what to do anymore. I wished I was never born this way to be honest, because I cant even have a connection with anybody and its not exaggerated. I feel narcissistic because I just think of if I can get to a feeling I want when talking to someone. If I dont succeed this year and I know I couldn't, but if I could and I see myself failing still . I just hope I can achieve what I need to achieve to feel good about myself. I know its my fault for not letting my real emotions be, but I dont know how I can be like this any longer, I dont know. I have to get better. This cant be my life.

When i was 11 i went to a restaurant to have lunch with some relatives and the waiter was kinda creepy, he came to take our order and caressed my cheek and at first i thought I was hallucinating it or something and it felt like it wasn’t happening,, it wasn’t real. And no one noticed because i’m assuming they were looking at the menu. After he left i still felt weird and it didn’t feel like it actually happened and i tried convincing myself maybe it was not intentional even thought it clearly wasn’t like an accidental brush while moving your hands. Then he came again to our table, i can’t remember why but he did it again, still i was so uncomfortable and scared i wanted to cry but i didn’t say anything to my aunt after he left because i felt like i was going crazy and maybe this man did nothing and i imagined it all for some reason. I managed to go through the day normally because we went to the beach after and i had enough fun to be able to forget but it hit me even harder when i got home. i literally could not stop thinking about it and i was scared and i felt disgusted by my own body and i still felt like i was crazy and that it didn’t happen and i just imagined it. To this day i still feel like it didn’t really happen and I feel like i’m being crazy and delusional every time i think about it. And i’ve been wrecking my mind all these years because I don’t know if it was assault because he didn’t touch me in any “inappropriate” parts.

(Sorry kinda long). I’ve been depressed for a while and I’ve just recently started to feel somewhat proud of my progress. Ngl even though I never meant any harm I was kinda hurting people around me thanks to my bad habits and self destructive mindset. Therapy and isolation from social things in general have helped greatly. Recently I’ve just really started to feel incredibly lonely which may not be weird since I haven’t had a solid friend circle in 10 years and the few romantic and sexual relationships I had that didn’t end horrible feel like distant memories. I’ve slowly started to feel comfortable with talking to others again but I’m still too afraid that I’ll fuck everything up if I actually put myself out there. Had a small relapse today which followed up from 4 relapses last month.(former porn addict). I just felt like shit until my step grandma invited me watch my dads play. So we went together and well it’s always fun to see my dads preferments and even more fun to hang out with my step granny who I see very rarely. After the theatre it started to rain like hell. I love rain but asked my step granny if she wanted us to stay in the theatre but she just grabbed me and we started running(at her phase of<3) and ended up walking most of the way home getting completely soaked and just laughing and enjoying the silly time. Idk why but it all just made me so happy. Just having a completely positive fun time with someone where I actually felt like I was the best version of myself without any interference from my self destructive tendencies. Plus someone else took the initiative to do something fun which I honestly haven’t experienced in years. Had some fun family time at home but just as i was about to go to bed I just stopped and started at myself in the mirror. For the first time in years honestly I actually liked what I say. Both physically given that my hair is at its absolute best after drying without brushing because it turns super curly. And I’m actually noticing some pretty big progress from working out. But the main thing that caught me of guard and made me vent here was my eyes. It sounds cheesy but my eyes had a shine in them that I don’t think I’ve seen ever. I looked genuinely happy and relaxed and that made me feel happy. For a moment I actually looked at myself with pride and confidence. And also just clicked how dumb the relapser are and how much it differs from the person I actually am. It’s hard to describe the feeling but it felt good and feeling good about myself on that level is something I don’t think I’ve experienced in 5 years at least. Just felt like sharing and I’d love to know if anyone else have had a similar moment?

Edit: best way I can describe it would be that I actually felt somewhat worthy of love for the first time ever as far as I can remember and it really boosted my determination to keep getting better.

Hi guys, I am a 23 year old recent college grad. The last 2-3 years of my life have felt like an endless cycle of tough times.

During my college years, I was working during the days and going to school online and at night. I didn’t have the “college experience” that I saw others having. I envied those people but also knew how hard I was working to get myself in a good spot once I graduated.

I got a job at a company that is great to work for, but there is nobody my age to really connect with, and after work I stick to my routine of going to the gym. I have also been trying to be outside more to try and help my mental health.

I have a group of friends, but we are all so busy during the week that usually the time we all get together is over the weekends, but most of them enjoy going out to bars/clubs, (which I’m not against on occasion but have not been enjoying that lately) I always feel surrounded by people but truly alone when I am in those kinds of social settings.

Does anyone have any advice on things that have worked for them to “get their life together” or whatever during their early 20’s? All I had heard was these years were super great but I haven’t felt that way thus far.

I'm a 29 yo man. Ever since last August, right around when I started dating this woman, I started to have a pit in my stomach. The relationship was toxic and I interpreted the pit in my stomach to be related to the anxiety surrounding the relationship. I ended the relationship 5 months later. It ended horribly, she took zero accountability for the ways she hurt me and made me out as the villain, which hurt a lot. I didn't get the closure I wanted. But I figured after the relationship ended the pit in my stomach would go away, but it didn't. Now 4 months later, 9 months total, and I still walk around with this pit in my stomach all day every day. It's HORRIBLE. Basically makes it impossible to experience any joy. It's making me wonder if I'm suffering from some mental health issue, or some gut issue, or both, which is causing the anxiety, and maybe that was the problem all along, not the relationship.

Has anyone else experienced a pit in their stomach for 9 months? Is this normal?

My (15F) best friend (14F) is still in love with her ex (14M) and I feel like it's ruining her life. I tried to help her but idk how. She still feels guilty about her ex. She gets nightmares every night about it and when she isn't sleeping she's crying. She stopped eating properly. I'm scared to lose her but I feel like I lost her when she lost him. How do I help her?

I nearly died a few weeks ago. It wasn’t self-inflicted, a physical health issue flared up suddenly and severely. I was given life saving treatment and admitted to hospital. In all honesty, all I could think about whilst I was there was my heart. The clinical staff who saw me just kept talking about abnormal readings and my chest pain. I just kept thinking my heart has literally broken. All of the crap I’ve been through has finally manifested physically and this is it. Before the ambulance arrived, I knew what was happening to me was potentially the end. Everything felt very real and I felt very present, there were no alarm bells and no siren, just the horrible sound of me struggling to breathe. My preschooler was sat next to me on the tablet I’d given them as a distraction when I started to get worse and I just kept thinking I’m going to be gone. I started crying between gasps but soon help arrived. What I’ve come to understand is that I wasn’t crying because I was frightened of dying, I was crying because it was going to be a relief. That what I’d wished for years was finally happening. I would cease to exist. This probably sounds awful as I’m a mom, how could it be a relief to leave my kid behind? At this point I truly think I’d be doing them a favour, they’re young enough to forget me right now. I love them very much, but I believe the world will be kinder to them without me as them mother. It’s usually at this point I pinch myself and try to snap out of the self-indulgence of my sorrows, but tonight I can’t see that happening. I’ve got nothing left in the tank and no support. Since my health scare I feel like a bit of me has died. There’s this space in me and I feel sort of hollow. There is no connection with anyone, and I feel alienated as if I don’t belong anywhere. These were all feelings I had previously felt to some degree, however now they’re really amplified. Medication no longer seems to help, and it certainly doesn’t give me a loving family or get rid of the abusive ex who still tries to hurt/control me. Life was meant to get better, this feeling was meant to be temporary but instead I’ve spent the majority of the last 19 years without happiness. All I wanted was a bit of peace, but I now know there is only one place I will find this.

I’ve just finished my senior year of college, and I’m moving back home with my parents to save money. I didn’t have the best college experience, I went through a lot of social isolation and am essentially leaving with no friends/community.

My anxiety has been at an all time high - I don’t have a job yet (the market rn is freaking me out), and I’m feeling hopeless about my future in general. The thought of being an adult makes me depressed. I don’t see how I can find happiness for myself.

Is life for the next 10 years just going to be working, and trying to find things that make me feel better? I know pretty much everyone has to face the same thing, but it just sounds so difficult to me. How do people find things that fulfill them? It feels like no matter what I do, my sources of fulfillment are so temporary and fleeting. I’m not sure if this makes sense, it’s hard for me to pinpoint exactly what’s making me feel hopeless. Essentially, the next few years of my life seem like they’re going to be pretty depressing.

Any advice?

I played sports for around 7 years. I loved that sport dearly and I was doing fairly well. I thought it'd be something I'd be doing forever (like it'd stay as a hobby) even if I didn't end up pursuing it professionally. However, I had a really bad depressive episode coupled with anxiety which led to me quitting. At that point, I barely left the house or talked to anyone. I didn't attend trainings anymore nor did I even practice on my own.

Up to this day, I regret quitting. I'm always reminded how much I missed out on and all the opportunities that passed by me.

i’ve lost all connection to my friends. most of them were my ex colleagues and school mates and as years went by, we grew older, some of them got married and had kids, some of them just disappeared and i totally get that, i myself am buried in work and depression that’s fine. i don’t think about those times too much.

but i noticed that my circle has changed from normal regular people to social outcasts mostly. they’re not even my friends we just drink. i can't just hang out anymore i NEED to drink to talk to people. like i don’t meet with anyone if i’m not loading myself with alcohol. i feel my brain slowly decaying in real time.

i didn’t get any new real friends since college. i can’t connect with anyone. i can’t find a single other reason for me to even know anyone if not alcohol consumption. i can’t build any real human relationships with ANYONE. i am isolated, lonely, and completely useless. there’s no reason for me to be alive. i can live with no good companions, i’ve been doing that for many years now. but life is miserable and boring in this false independence.

it’s not that i can’t find people it’s that i am not able to make them something more than just buddies. i lack this depth and i don’t know what to do. i’m not even sure if it’s a real problem. does that make sense? i don’t know

I suffer from borderline personality disorder, depression, and anxiety. All of them seem to control my life but I try every day and sometimes that’s all I can ask. One huge problem I have is when I go into social gatherings. Something about me causes me to freak out. I can’t speak and I regress into what feels like a five year old or I’m high on drugs. Loud music is when it’s the worst. I have to completely depend on others just to function. I can’t order food, get places, or speak to others. I don’t know if this is overstimulation or dissociation but I feel like a completely different person. Everyone and everything feels absolutely terrifying and I feel like a toddler lost in time square. The only way I feel better is getting out of the situation. If I find a quiet place and get on my phone and cuddle with my service dog. Nothing just feels real and I need to hide. I’m not looking for a diagnosis because I know only a medical professional can do that, I’m just looking for ideas for what causes this. Is it because of my BPD or is it something else?

I don’t know why but I’ve been feeling myself slowly distancing myself from people at school. I wish I was alone I don’t want to talk to anyone or have friends or even family sometimes I just wish I was alone, sometimes I genuinely feel happy but I randomly start crying and most of the time I’m sad but just have to pretend to be happy 24/7, I just wish I wasn’t here sometimes I wish I could live my life without worrying how it effects others I wish I could drop everyone and live alone.

I’m so lost in life, I dont know who I am, what I should become or how I should behave. I try to focus on school, friends and my girlfriend but now it’s summer and I’m gonna need to show my skinny body to my girlfriend. How is this even gonna work out I feel so lost and hopeless.

I know people have it a lot worse so I’m grateful too.

Hello,

I’ll most likely be prescribed anti depressants soon but I do take benzos. Will they drug test me and see that I take benzos and then not prescribe anti depressants because of that.

FYI - I live in the UK

Thanks in advance

Hello. I have been wondering about this for quite a while now. Recently I began opening up more to people as symptoms I have been experiencing for a long time have been getting on my nerves. After speaking to my friends and family, they believe I have anxiety, I have an upcoming appointment soon. But I keep doubting I have anxiety, despite having quite a few symptoms of it. Can anyone tell me why this is happening?, and the symptoms I have been experiencing are ; Easily irritated, mind going blank, difficult concentrating, nervousness, Weird feeling in stomach whenever upset, and believing people are plotting against me while upset. Can someone please help?

It started early last month i was having chest pressure and pain concerned of my heart and lungs. I am 22 btw male. At the time i am Taking Prozac fyi. So On the 25th of april, i quit vaping (8 years) went to the doctor because i was still having chest pressure so i went to cardiologist. Everything healthy and normal probably (Major Anxiety) in fact there is a lot going on in my life so i wouldn't put it past me. A couple days go by and still don't feel great So i go back to doctor They prescribed me Bupropion to help my anxiety and Nicotine "withdrawals". To be fair giving up the nicotine was pretty easy. no itching for one but still felt terrible. So my dumb self decided to stop taking my prozac Cold Turkey and start the Bupropion. Since then my life has been hell, throwing up every day. bed ridden, constant dizziness and weakness. So i am stuck not knowing what to do. I have been on bupropion for a week and no prozac for a week. 2 Weeks free of nicotine. Am i allergic to Bupropion or Are these withdrawals from stopping Prozac? I need help. i have been to 4 doctors

I always think that I handle myself pretty well.
I don't need to rely on anyone. I don't need anyone to know what I've been through. I don't need any pity.
I guess I already leave everything that happened behind. I don't even feel anything when something that used to trigger me is mentioned anymore.

I was on the internet today and engaged in an online discussion (as I shouldn't) and someone said "You don't know what it's like to have something heinous done to you."
I think I felt every emotion that I could feel in that moment. I felt exactly what it felt like, and I busted into tears.
I wanted to explode. I do know what it's like.

Apparently, there are very specific strings of words that will undo all the internal work that I've done to keep myself in check.
I'm just glad it was when I could hide behind a screen and had the time to regulate my emotions.
I guess I don't know myself all that well.

I’ve been taking such great care of myself lately by eating well, exercising, going to therapy, etc. but honestly…I still feel like shit. In fact, I kind of feel worse mentally than when I was drinking and binging / purging on junk food all the time. Like, I knew healing would be a difficult process, but the fact that following good habits is making me outrageously bloated and doing nothing to help my mental state really sucks. My therapist made it seem like taking care of myself would make me feel better naturally, but I just feel numb, frankly.

Don’t know when things are supposed to feel any better.

i am going on a school trip for 5 days. we will sleep in some kind of holiday village, so there will be some kind of canteen/cafeteria with a buffet for dinner, and for lunch we'll have packed lunch since we will visit stuff during the day.

now, i can't eat if there are people watching me, and while i can go eat my packed lunch elsewhere, i will have major issues at the dining area of the village, since i will be sitting with my friends. don't get me wrong, I AM NOT GOING TO STARVE MYSELF, but i need to find a way to pretend to eat at the table without eating. i will eat later in my room or smth, but i just know that i won't be able to eat in public, and i don't want to make a scene or that my friends or teachers notice that i'm not eating. any methods similar to slipping food into a napkin?

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