This one may be a long one, so be warned.

As the title suggests, I hate my parents, to an almost unbearable extent. I'm only recently an adult (18 m), and I've been holding in all these feelings for a long time. The more I look back in my life, the more i just utterly despise their decisions. I view them as parental failures, who stunted my growth and happiness because of their own emotional coldness or untreated mental health issues.

I despise my mother in particular, with her having so many issues that affected my childhood, one's I've only really noticed within the last four years. After that, she ceased to be my hero, my source of comfort and love. To this day, she is controlling, hoarding, unstable, overly emotional, paranoid, and obsessive about my perception of her despite never taking my input about it. She cannot take criticism and rarely admits when she is wrong.

Whenever i started to question what she said or thought during my early teenage years would set her off into a manipulative, emotional mess. She cannot stand me growing up, and in my view still sees me as the younger child who could not go one day without her. It infuriates me, and i cannot handle it. Whenever i displayed any mental health troubles of my own, she acts annoyed and dismissive. As of now, we do not have a proper relationship, despite living in the same house. We maybe speak a couple sentences a day, and I lose no sleep over it. The only reason trying to be pleasant is so my spring break trip isn't ruined by her.

My father is better, but I still blame him for so many things. He is the complete opposite of my mother, to a fault. He is emotionally absent, and while at least receptive to any troubles, rarely comforts me, or validates my feelings. He was, for a while, the only person I would even slightly divulge about my issues with mom, but he almost never took my side in anything. He sits there and does nothing, and even though he never says it, I know he doesn't want to help me. He just wants the constant arguments between me and my mother to go away. Its completely about himself.

They both found a pseudo-diary i created in mid 2021, and thought the best idea would be to confront, shame, invalidate, and pressure me into destroying it. If there was any trust between us then, it was shattered. They have both sat on their asses wondering why I don't tell them about my day, or my mental health struggles, or my grades, or anything really. It was only recently that I confronted them about this, and my mother called me "vicious" for it, before bursting into tears when I decided it would be too taxing for me to divulge my reasons for not liking her (i had tried to tell her many, many times.)

Eventually, they both apologized after a few days, and gave me back a copy of the diary. But i will not forgive them. They do not deserve it in my eyes. I have no reason to outside of whatever societal obligation you are supposed to have towards your parents. Frankly, I don't know if i want to forgive them for anything. I have a strong desire to punish them for their parental choices, from their emotional issues to their school choices to how they handled any mental or developmental problems I had. I have near zero sympathy for them.

Continued in comment:

How long does rabies survive outside of the body in saliva before it becomes uninfectious to a cut?
Everything I'm seeing say that it can live to hours or days outside the body.

I’m currently in a verry tough spot my freind is in a really bad state of mind and has been for a while. My freind expects me to care for them and help them everytime they feel down and they often show me there self harm out of nowhere and ofc I talk to them and try to make them feel better but whenever I try to talk to them about something I’m struggling with they just laugh or don’t care . They are my only close friend right now and a couple weeks ago I told them that I feel very alone and though I have no one and they just laughed and called me a loser . I want to cut them off or explain how this is making me feel but every time I try they just send me self harm pictures or tell me they’re struggling to . I want to just not speak to them anymore but I’m worried they will self harm and it’ll be my fault if they do something bad . Please comment I need advice

I thought I was doing so well. I’m an 18 year old girl with bipolar, anxiety, and depression and all I can think about lately is hurting myself. I went to rehab in 2023 for self harm after an attempt, and have been hospitalized for attempting two other times in 2022 and 2024. I never thought I’d even make it to college but here I am, and first semester went great. Second semester started and I’m spiraling again. Now I’m back where I started in high school, trying to make plans and writing letters. I know it gets better, I know it does but I just don’t want it to get better for it to get worse again and again. I cant get along with my mom anymore and I keep starting fights with my boyfriend. I just know the world would be better without me; I’ve done some things in my past and I just can’t live with myself. Every time I get in the car to go home or to go to class or work I just feel unsafe with myself. I had dreams of going to vet school and getting married and being happy but none of that even seems possible with the way that I am. I’m a disappointment to everyone around me and I just don’t think any of this is worth it. Someone just tell me to stay a little longer

Even if i imagined someone telling me they’d like me romantically, it just feels so ridiculous to me. Maybe it’s because i don’t like my personality/ character traits/ habits and neither my looks. idk what to do about it because what if (what even now feels weird to assume) at some point in my life somebody might actually “fall in love with me” who i also like and i just deny it to myself

Hey this is my first time here so I'm sorry if I'm doing something wrong!!!

I'm a 14 y/o girl. I live with my mother rn.

I recently started to remember my past. This has (probably) caused my oddly vivid dreams, which are extremely violent and realistic

I’m scared of sleeping now and I only sleep when I'm close to passing out

My health isn't very good. I keep forgetting how to breathe and random parts of my body go numb/ stop functioning sometimes

And I don't want to “reach out” even if ppl say they're willing

Well, the nice s*icide hotline and my school authorities told me they can't help. My family is out of the question. My friends are only teens

Tbh, I feel quite guilty for not helping my friends properly. I tried to help the guy that kept doing bad stuff to us by taking him seriously when he kept threatening to off himself and hurt us and spread ideologies such as ableism

Then I found out he wanted attention because some of us (including me) got sympathy for “having issues”. Even tho I worked hard to help him, he told me I was (insert r-word) and it was just an act

I also feel guilty about being unable to reciprocate love

Quite a number of ppl have confessed to me this year. I know I'm not supposed to owe them anything but I just feel sorry that I'm unable to return their feelings. (It's also awkward when I play truth or dare with my friend grp)

I care about ppl around me, but I don't feel anything nice, like love for instance

I don't love my father or my relatives because they never wanted me (they made it clear too), nor my mother because she keeps yelling and being violent toward me and making me feel guilty for spending money on food

It's costly to have to eat and sleep to stay alive

“Emotionally mature”, “responsible”, “talented” are all words ppl use to describe me, even “pretty”, “smart” and someone worthy of being confessed to by so many ppl in a year

My hobbies (writing, drawing, whatever) are things I won't have time for. When I turn 15 I should get a job so I don't feel guilty for literally eating

The things I know I loved when I was younger (piano, ballet, books) are things I've had to give up because ..money

I feel like I only exist to make others happy. That's the only kinda positive emotion I feel. Fulfillment for having been useful

And I'm failing miserably. From the moment I existed, from the moment I was made to be a girl, a disappointment to my family, from the time I stopped being able to say “I love u” without throwing up, I was destined to never succeed

I keep doing harmful things to myself. I can't let myself take my anger out on anyone else. If anyone has to suffer it's always going to be me

It's never enough

I know my friends tell me how good I am. How I make them happy and deserve the world. But it's just because I'm a girl and they like me

One of them told me that he wasn't sure why he liked me. He just realized one day that I was a girl and available lmao

I want to be selfish for once and disappear. And secretly, I want to know that ppl would care for me, just me, not because they love/ hate me because I'm a girl

(I don't have the desire to be trans. I just don't want “girl” to be such a defining feature)

My birth date, May 20th (520) means “I love u”. Ppl like to point that out

I don't think I will ever believe in those words

Nearly 15 years. How much longer until I feel

Uh sorry about being long-winded. If anyone bothered to read any of this at all, thank you, truly

Was messaging my partner when they randomly said they had to go for family issues. Couple second later I get a text, "oh no, its my sister". After that, "my mum has called an ambulance". My partner has since left to attend the matter. Im scared. Im scared for my partner's sister, and my partner themselves. They've been through so much shit lately (raped last week), and with them being someone who has previously attempted several times, im worried they will try again.

basically i lost a fight in the locker room & there’s video proof of it, and ever since it happened i haven’t felt good about anything lately, it’s constantly in the back of my mind and honestly i feel empty inside. the guy i fought was really close with me & i don’t think we’d get close again because the reason we fought was genuinely crazy. my so-called friends are clowning me because of it and honestly i understand because it did look bad on my end. the video hasn’t gotten out yet but im preparing for it and ik it might ruin me mentally when it does because it is clown-worthy. it’s almost like i lost friends because of it and it truly damages me inside. i just want to know how can i proceed with life knowing its a video of me getting my ass beat on the verge of being sent out & the school seeing it.

tl:dr - i lost a fight at school in embarrassing fashion whilst it being videotaped & im wondering how to proceed with life back normally

So a 'friend' of mine had a go at me last week after I took some photos of her that she felt were 'not flattering and not boosting her confidence'. Even though at the time I have her positive feedback about one or two of the photos. She went on to talk about some comments I made last year about her always wearing the same colour. We had already had this conversation and I'd already apologised BUT on this day I again said I didn't like the colour when she mentioned it. She said nothing to my face and all of this was done by text when she got home. She sent me these horrible text messages. I told her it's as if she's saying she has no faults, we all do. She told me to stop 'retaliating' and later called me a narcissist then blocked me.

Cut to today, a week later, and she messaged me saying 'i hope you're keeping ok' then goes on to tell me about an event happening locally. It's like that whole episode didn't happen. That's the second time she's called me a narcissist. We had lots of fall outs because she's almost IMPOSSIBLE to be around. She's quite neurotic. Obviously I blocked her number. But WHY does she think that behaviour is ok? Possibly because no one else will put up with her?? Surely SHE is mentally ill.

They are usually short and I'm not delusioned by them. Auditory hallucinations take me longer to tell apart from reality.

Most of the time I hear my mother's voice yelling. Other times it's usually people calling out to me.

Visually, I see shadow people. Just saw a silhouette hang themselves behind me when I glanced at a mirror in my room.

Stress and sleep deprivation increases my rate of hallucinating. Any input would be appreciated <3

I hate my job because of my social anxiety and i am so depressed and lonely, someone wanna talk?

Does anyone else wish they could end their life, but too chicken too? I don’t have the guts. And just the thought of my family finding me, I couldn’t do that to them. I just wish I would get stage 4 cancer or something so I could just leave this place.

I’ve been working from home for almost 4 years. It’s been such a blessing but such a curse. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want people assuming I don’t appreciate the job I have. I do. There are so many things I’ve been able to do because of it. But I am SO lonely. I feel like my mental health is really suffering. I’m 27 years old and I can barely get myself to leave the house without my husband. I used to love driving or window shopping alone and now the thought of just checking the mail makes me break out in a sweat. I often can’t organize my thoughts and feel like an emotional wreck. I’ll go from laughing at funny videos to suddenly balling my eyes out hysterically over nothing.

We recently moved states so I have no friends here. My family is back home and I have no idea how to get the energy to try and go out to make friends. I guess im really just venting. I know remote work is so sought after right now and I’m living a lot of peoples ideal situation but I feel like it’s almost ruined me.

I’ve lost my independence. I don’t know how to be me anymore. It feels like I have no worth. My job doesn’t even require me to make phone calls so it’s just me in silence or listening to music all day long. I have absolutely nothing to contribute when my husband comes home from work. There’s nothing ever to talk about so it’s just him sharing his day with me and I can’t input anything useful.

Everyday is the same.

End of rant.

Why is everything like this. I can't even begin to explain. What's wrong with my mind. Help. Why does everyone always feel like this. Why am I like this. I want it all to just go away. I can't do anything right. I want to stop thinking. Why do I ruin everything. Everyone I'l ever start to think of as a friend I'm going to hurt and drive away. Doesn't matter how much I want to like them. What's wrong with me. Why. Help. Please.

i’m bored and would like to make a friend on here

For most of my life I’ve been a pretty unhappy person. I don’t usually get what I want and most things go wrong. I don’t mean to sound immature and hyperbolic but this is genuinely the case. For the most part I haven’t really enjoyed my life, I’ve tried to take meds and I’ve gone to therapy but nothing really worked. I didn’t really try especially hard so I think it’s my fault. I only really had what I wanted in life once, but I lost it because of my own actions. I haven’t gotten better in half of a year and nothing good has really happened in my life despite my efforts. But I just wonder, do people get unlucky or is everything a product of your own actions. How much should I blame myself for the state of my life?

I might not make sense but basically this feeling happens a lot. for example what happened just now.

I don't know why but my dad was acting unusual and my mam was just sitting on her phone we were all the the kitchen and I just wanted to sob I had almost a crawling feeling in my ears like I just felt overwhelmed when nothings going on please help.

I have come across so many judgmental people who have judged me for what I feel like is almost everything (actions/appearance/ sometimes I even got judged for not doing anything or saying anything) it gets so draining to the point I get mentally and physically exhausted.

I have become more and more of a quiet person because I don’t wanna say anything and keep being judged for it to keep the peace.

I want to live a happier life and be myself, I was so bubbly and confident before. I started noticing myself slipping the more I noticed I was being judged or talked about behind my back. Like for example my in laws don’t like me very much and at work my boss picks at me for such small things, I try my hardest to become better but nothing works, they still see me as socially awkward or weird or not good enough. These two situations are some that bother me at the moment, but I could probably mention so many more because I just feel like judgmental people are everywhere.

I also wish I had more mature genuine friends I can talk to about life without feeling so judged. Please if there’s anyone out there who can be a friend or offer a word of advice I would gladly appreciate it. I’m really struggling.

I didn’t use to dream, but since being on these new meds I have been, which has been weird

But over the last few days my dreams went from weird to downright surreal. First I was a soldier, and I did deploy but not with my unit(weird thing that happens in the National guard). But I had a dream where I was visiting my unit in uniform, but with all my patches stripped. No name, rank, branch, unit patches nothing. And it was at the MOB site before they went overseas, but I was never there with that unit.

Two days later I had a dream of meeting with a girl from high school. A girl I was hung up on for years, but never n this dream we didn’t do anything but talk. And it felt like… an ending. Like things were finally over and done with.

Since then I’ve felt at peace… there are so many issues in my past but those two dreams.. it feels like an ending, or closure or I don’t know but it feels like so many things are done and I’m suddenly not carrying that weight anymore

Has anybody else had this happen?

Up until now I always thought you got stronger everyday. You gain valuable experience, build up some thick skin, and learn how to navigate common every-day-problems. It doesn't seem to be as straight forward as I anticipated.

When I was 16, I was confident, and had a clear path mapped out in my head. I didn't get offended easily, and didnt get that affected by bad news. I knew the world could be cruel, but I was certain the good overweighed the bad, and was quick to bounce back. I was eager to grow up, and wanted to move out, even at the age of 16 (I wasnt allowed of course, but the motivation and drive was there).

Now, as a 24 year old, I feel less adequate and prepared for life compared to back then. I easily cry, I get anxious over nothing, and I shut down when confronted with problems I used to handle well. I can watch the news and feel physically sick (like I have to lay down) when I get reminded of how terrible the world can be. I feel like a child sometimes.

I thought "what doesnt kill you make you stronger" was based on some truth:')) ??

Hi so I'm a younger teen and last year I really struggled with mental health. It was really horrible I was depressed and anxiety was taking over my life. I went to CBT to sort out my 'problems' but it didn't really help and then it was just starting anyway and I could deal with it. I've suffered with mental health issues all my life and when I was younger I tried to open up to my parents about it but they kind of just shrugged it off. My dad is the worst he genuinely just doesn't believe Im struggling and thinks I'm just having bad days. It got slightly better and I tried to talk to them about the shit that happened but they still just had the worst reactions possible. Recently I feel myself slipping back and recently I sort of started self harming a bit which I haven't done in ages. Please help me how do I get help. It feels really crap aswell because I know lots of people have much worse situations but yeah right now I really need support

To start off with, my brother is 22. He was finally diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder and narcissistic personality disorder who also has a small chance of becoming schizophrenic per doctors notes. He’s been seeing a NP for a while and didn’t believe her because “she doesn’t know what she’s talking about” so my mom got him in with a person who analyzes his behavior, has him take a test and everything and it has come to this conclusion. We thought we got an answer, great right? No. My brother said he’s a liar and it isn’t true. The doctor prescribed meds for him and we actually all noticed a difference, but then saw him resorting back to his old behavior. We were raised in a very loving home, my mom especially has been so supportive of all of us but she has been there for my brother EXTENSIVELY. He has gotten fired from multiple jobs because he would just not show up, or think he could leave whenever and is coming very close to getting fired from his job now as they talked with my parents. He tried flying to Russia and even went as far as the JFK airport for a girl he was “in love” with, meanwhile this time was the height of the war over there with Ukraine even as my mom sobbed and begged him to not go because she was worried for his safety. After this he got an actual girlfriend, he was taking his meds and actually doing really well but I noticed he would constantly bicker with her about him being right and he had no motivations and would get annoyed when she would ask which is when it started getting very toxic, they both were, so they broke up. I noticed he started resorting to his old behavior, staying in his room, eating a lot, risk taking behavior, being very mean to everyone who tried to help, etc. He then went to college with my mom helping his loan and would fail a class, then say he won’t do it again and then failed 3 more times. Through this my mom has been supporting him, taking him to appointments, talking to his doctors, setting him up with therapy, constantly checking in with him and talking to him, etc.

So here we are today, this has been building but I truly think it’s the worse it’s ever been. He completely stays in his room all the time, has been gaining an extensive amount of weight by constantly eating, ignoring us all, not taking showers because he doesn’t think he needs to, doesn’t talk when we try to involve him, constantly lies to us all and doctors, and actually has been lying for a month about taking his meds but told me yesterday he’s been just throwing them away and lying to my mom as she sets them out and reminds him, and also has been lying about going to therapy (which my mom pays for) and just driving somewhere else for the timeframe and honestly just treats my mom like absolute shit.

I can't. I just can't. Promoters for my Twitch channel won’t leave me alone.. That's just one of the MANY things that are bothering me. I’m seeing and hearing things. I'm scared. I can't calm down. Nothing is helping. I don't want to go back… I can't with work now. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

Hello everyone, I’ve never made a post here or visited this subreddit before, but I feel like now’s the perfect time for me to do so. At the beginning of this month my girlfriend moved to France to pursue pastry school. I encouraged her to go last year when she was thinking about it and I couldn’t be more proud of her now that it’s a reality. However, this has been such a huge change in my life. I’ve had to move back home, none of my friends live near me, I currently don’t have a job, and on top of all that, I have to be okay with not being able to talk to my girlfriend as much or see her at all. I have my days where everything is going good, but lately, specifically this week, I’ve noticed that it’s been much worse for me. Around 4-8 pm I start getting overwhelmed with some feelings and thoughts about how much I’m missing her and I focus on how long I have to wait until I can see her again. It’s a really frustrating thing to go through because it feels like it comes out of nowhere and I have no clue how to help myself.

I want to do my best to be happy and occupied while my girlfriend is gone so we can focus on that stuff in the little time we do get to talk. I do not want her to have to focus on how I’m not doing the best mentally on top of all she has going on with school and her own life.

I felt this may be a good space to vent and see if anyone has tips on how to help myself improve on this situation. I don’t know if anyone has been in a somewhat similar situation, but if you have and you have some words of wisdom, I will gladly take them.

I can sleep for two days straight. Even after sleeping for hours, I feel like I could sleep another four to five hours. I feel tired all day. I cannot open my eyes easily. I feel like I need a massage all day. People say I am taking drugs, but I am not. I cannot smile; I have to fake a smile. I have dark circles under my eyes. My whole body aches. Even if I drink coffee, everything remains the same. I feel low and tired all the time. I am so worried; what should I do?Why do I feel low, sleepy, exhausted, and sad all the time?

Hi, I'm looking for free online mental health support groups that meet through Zoom. I'm not in the best financial situation and I'd like to get some help for my depression and anxiety. I've attended some online meetings before and I find that listening to other people, without the pressure of having to talk or show my face, makes me feel less alone. Are there any free groups like that? Preferably meeting in evenings Europe time/early afternoon US time.

So I'm only three months in from my application from SSI(TN) the financial hole it is putting me is crazy and I'm not allowed to work while waiting...which sucks. so i previously worked FT and PT but i couldn't do it at either job and after ten months I quit both...i can't work anymore and disability can take years..i have no health insurance no income besides SNAP currently. And no retirement or any family that can help, and also no vehicle, does anyone know how to survive the stir-crazy of being in a house 24/7 and only getting out for appointments or groceries? anyone know how this feels or how to survive this for possibly years. thanks

I recently graduated with a BA in psychology while I do have interest in psychology I really just didn’t know what I wanted out of a career . I was in survival mode growing up and didn’t really want a job I just wanted to feel safe. Going away to college meant moving away from my emotionally immature parents which is what I needed. Moving away helped me heal in a lot of ways and finally feel safe. Through therapy and finding a supportive partner it really helped me. Over the years I had a few job experiences and they took a large toll on my mental health. Anytime I would try to have a part time job I found myself having immense anxiety I didn’t want to mess up because if i did it would result in harsh criticism, but it kinda became a self-fulfilling prophecy, because I would be so anxious that it was like I was in freeze mode managers would view me as stupid or feel like they had to tell me what to do every 5 minutes. Which would result in passive aggressiveness and harsh criticism until I would eventually quit or break down in a panic, sometimes my throat closing up. I stopped working for a while because at the time I didn’t need to and I could just focus on my studies. Now I only have a few months to find a job that can support me enough to split rent with my boyfriend or I have to move back home (different state) and move back in with my abusive parents. I still have no desire to work but I also have high expectations of myself . I expect myself to find a “real” job at the same time i feel very little confidence in myself. I don’t want to work in retail/food anymore due to my past experiences. I also feel limited in driving as I get anxiety going on highways, and limited area where i feel comfortable. I don’t even really know what I want when thinking of a career maybe something with marketing would interest me but i feel unqualified. I had interview for an admin position at a hospital but interviewer didn’t seem interested to begin with and ended up filling the position. I just feel hopeless and stuck . I’m also slowly loosing my mind in my apartment no longer having the routine and structure of school is making things worse.

I've been so angry lately, with everything going on here in the US. This isn't a political post, I'm just at a point where I'm so angry all the time. A lot of its based in fear, but it's also frustration and it's getting to a point where it's dangerous.

I've been dealing with anger issues for years. I have a psychiatrist and I'm on medication but I can't afford therapy right now. I've tried anger management and none of the techniques work. I dont know what to do anymore. I'm starting to become an asshole, just angry and taking it out on anyone in range at the moment. Not physically, just verbally but it's a real problem. Sorry, just hoping this is a safe place to get this out.

I m28 have adhd and dyslexia I also had a bad concussion in high school that forever changed my academic abilities. Since I was 18 I have worked 11 jobs including working for myself. I also unfortunately live in a very expensive Canadian city. I feel like giving up I’m closer to 30 then I have ever been and have really had a big battle in the last 3 years with my mental health I nearly ended myself. I would end myself if my parents were not alive. But I haven’t been able to make a decent income or have stable enough employment to be able to accomplish independence. My whole life I have craved stability I went to 9 different schools growing up and was barely able to graduate. I don’t have the motivation to try anymore because everything has ended the same I see a therapist and I talk to my family but even my family doesn’t know what to say to me anymore. I take meds for my anxiety and depression but it’s got so bad lately that I’m having a hard time controlling myself. No one seems to get me not even my parents I feel like they don’t love me anymore and I’m not sure it’s worth trying anymore. What do I need to do to fix myself why am I having such a hard time with life why is it so hard for me to achieve this simple goal.