My apologies if I’m not very concise; I'll try to be as straightforward as possible. I’m sorry if the text is too long; I tried to shorten it as much as possible. I think this is the most important decision of my life

We moved to Spain when I was around 8 years old. I did have a father, but he wasn’t present during our stay in Spain. When I was about 13, we moved to Portugal, and he lived with us. This was the worst period of my life—there was a lot of mental abuse, and on rare occasions, physical abuse as well. Because of this, my two sisters and I started developing schizophrenia, depression, serious self-harm issues, and other problems. I wasn’t strong enough to do anything about it; I didn’t have the strength, money, or mentality to stand up back then, even though I tried, and every attempt only made it worse.

Now, I’m in my twenties, stronger, and bigger, and I work almost non-stop, without any free days, to earn money. About eight months ago, he got drunk and started doing things that I tried to stop, and he just started beating me. Something snapped in me, and I ended up beating the crap out of him and made him leave the house and the family.

I have no doubts about him—I’m 100% sure I don’t want him in my life at all.

My main issue is my mother. I always saw her as a victim and cared for her, but over the past eight months, I started reevaluating my entire life with her and realized that she never really cared for me or my sisters. She knew what was happening, knew exactly how he was, but never did anything to stop it. She constantly made us “forgive” him for everything he did. Even after he tried to beat me when I was trying to stop him from hurting my sister, she tried to prevent me from making him leave and stopped me from calling the police. And during these past eight months, she’s maintained contact with him, which may sound stupid, but it hurts so much because she often puts the calls on speaker, and we all hear him.

I have issues with certain associations—small noises, colors, feelings, and patterns of sound trigger memories from when I was 14, fearing him from my room, making me feel sick to my stomach. I tried talking to her and explaining how much this makes me feel, but she never stopped. Only after another argument with him on the phone, which brought back all the fear, stress, and other emotions that I had been working to overcome, did I put down an ultimatum. I told her that she must stop all contact with him, or I would leave. I’m the one who pays all the bills and their debts now, so at that moment, I thought she had no choice. I believed she cared about me, not just the money I bring in. She promised to never talk to him again.

Last week, I saw her acting strangely on the phone, but I couldn’t confirm if she was talking to him. Then, a few days ago, she thought I wasn’t nearby and started talking to him on speakerphone again, so everyone heard him. The disgust and anger I felt were unreal. I approached her and touched her shoulder, but she waved me away and told me to leave. I can’t explain the rage I felt at that moment. I just froze and waited until the call ended, then tried talking to her, but she just waved me off again. I snapped and shouted because she wasn’t listening.

In that moment, everything about my life changed. I began seeing everything she did in a different light and realized she never really cared for me or any of us. I put down another ultimatum, and she told me to leave if I wanted to.

This is my whole life, basically. It’s been very hard for me to process because I always cared for and loved her as my mom, and that blinded me to her coldness toward me. I burned myself with a soldering iron over the past few years because it made me feel safe, for some reason. After nearly a year without feeling the urge to hurt myself, I felt that urge return so strongly. If I’d had that soldering iron in my room, I would have used it again.

I’ve ruined my life in so many ways. I don’t have friends, though somehow, I managed to get a really good and loving girlfriend for the past four years. We’ve mostly had a long-distance relationship, but she came to live with me for a good amount of time. Due to the stress, work, and other problems, I wasn’t able to focus on our relationship, and I was really depressed and cold. I’m glad she left because I don’t want her to be with me like this. We’re still together, but it’s difficult now, and I know I got lucky with her.

My main issue now is my two sisters. I want to move to Spain with them. I can afford to pay for the rent, food, and other things, though it will be stressful—but I can handle it. However, I can’t make them leave or give them an ultimatum because it would only make things worse and hurt them. I can see that they also want to leave, but the guilt, feeling of responsibility, and fear of change make it hard for them. There may come a time when I have to leave without them, and I dread that.

The problem is that I’m the one paying for almost everything. My mother works, but her salary doesn’t even cover the rent debt. I don’t know what she’ll do or how she’ll live, but I realize it’s not my problem. She’s an adult and responsible for her own life. She’ll probably just go back to my father.

This situation is very hard for me. If you’ve read all of this, I really appreciate it.

I’m losing my health, a relationship of four years, my friends, my sanity, and possibly my whole life if I stay with my mother, especially if my sisters won’t leave with me. I’m also deeply worried about my health. I’m only 20, but I’ve been experiencing intense heart pains since I was 15 due to stress, and they worsen each year, while the schizophrenia is also becoming more severe. I already have a range of mental issues that I can’t resolve right now that makes the life much more difficult.

I want to live in Spain with my friends, girlfriend, and sisters in our own apartment and be happy. But I can’t and don’t want to force them to come with me if they don’t want to. So, it feels like I’ll either have to abandon them or stay and let myself continue to deteriorate.

Hey all seeking advice on how to deal with sweaty balls.

They aren't like littlebit sweaty but almost drenched. And they get like it without doing much, like after a shower in couple of hours they again are sweaty. The sweating also makes the area itchy and alot of movement make it somewhat irritated.

I don't sweat this much from anywhere else.

This is somewhat a new problem since even during this summer they rarely got this bad.

Is this something i could help myself with or should i talk to a doctor about this?

I was wondering if anyone has heard of Roderer? I’ve been looking around for a leather wallet for my boyfriend and came across this brand. I don’t see many reviews but it seems to be listed on websites such as Forbes naming it as top whatever on minimalist wallets.

I’m contemplating Leatherology as well but I’m not too sure. I’m looking for a bifold with great leather quality (at least decent enough for longevity). Don’t care too much about the money clip. What wallet do you have and love and/or what do you recommend?

Any help would be appreciated. Thank you very much!

A bit of background:

I grew up without a father in the 80s and 90s and always felt like I lacked that part of myself. My mother did a ton to really make up for that gap, but the autorithative, decisive figure always lacked from my life because my mother was and still is a really gentle soul. This caused some emotional issues for me because, for a long time, I didn't know how to form proper connections with people. I'd either get too attached and put myself in a vulnerable position, often being used by other people (not because they were bad people but because I kind of forced them to use me because I was too giving) or treated them like accessories. The two extremes were awful, and only with time I learned how to properly communicate my needs as well as my boundaries.

Since then, I grew both mentally and emotionally, and eventually started my own family. I'm a dad now, and have been for quite some time, so I feel like I could share some advice that could be useful to the ones who had the same misfortune as mine. I'll divide them into 2 groups - practical advice for everyday use and life advice.

Practical Advice

Cook your own food - Ordering food and eating at restaurants can be as much as 5 times more expensive than preparing it at home. LEARN TO COOK, it's an essential life skill and make sure you memorize how to make the few meals you always enjoy eating by heart. It will save you a lot of money and time.

Repair the small things on your car yourself - Mechanics are useful, but they won't always be around and towing is expensive. Learn how to fix some smaller but important issues on your car yourself - it will also teach you a lot about maintaining a car properly.

Branded stuff is often a waste of money, but sometimes you have to leave a good first impression - No matter how rich you are, buying only branded things is a waste of money. It's just not needed, you can find high quality items for normal or even cheap prices everywhere. However, if you need to leave a good impression on a high-paying job interview, a good, branded parfume, a nice watch, and a sharp suit will definitely help, let's not lie to ourselves. However, in 95% of occasions I'd go with these options:

Fragrance / Perfumes

Have at least one bottle of a high-quality, original, and branded perfume that you'll use whenever you need to leave a good impression. It'll raise your chances for whatever you're trying to do because smelling good is very effective. However, for 90% of your time, a high quality copy will be more than enough to do the job because people can't tell between the smell of an original and a high quality copy. Sometimes the copies smell so close to the originals that even perfume heads can't tell the difference. I'll list the dupe brands I bought for and was the most satisfied with, but there are many more out there, especially since many of them operate locally (do your research on this).

• Chez Pierre - definitely one of the best dupe brand I've come across. It's mainly because of their consistency and high quality, I'm kinda sure that any parfume that I order will have the minimum of the quality I require. I did have a small issue with a copy of Lost Cherry by Tom Ford because it lasted for only about 4 hours, but fixed it by just carrying the bottle with myself and re-applying once the first layer wore off.
• Match Fragrances - these guys match the smell and the intensity of the originals better than anyone else. The overall quality of their perfumes is quite high, I never had any issues with any of the ones I ordered, but you could sometimes smell they aren't originals.
• Scent 26 - some of their dupes are top notch, better than anything I've tried and some are relatively weak. They lack a bit of consistency with their parfumes but if you hit the right one, it's almost better than the original.

Electronics

Try to find people in local or virtual marketplaces that sell their used stuff. Electronics prices drop rapidly as soon as they've been used, even if only once, because most people would rather buy new and not risk it for a higher price than something that's been used. BUT if you put in a bit of time and effort, and actually look through stuff, you can find items that have been used once or a few times at most for as low as 50% of the original price.

eBay, Shpock, and Craigslist are the ones I used to find this kind of stuff.

Car parts

DON'T TRY TO BE FUNNY WITH THESE. BUY ONLY THE ONES MADE BY THE OFFICIAL DISTRIBUTORS, YOUR LIFE IS AT STAKE!!!

Life Advice

• Always keep yourself well-groomed.
• Forget about the bias and buy yourself some skin care products. Taking care of yourself feels good and is good for you in the long run.
• Learn how to be comfortable with yourself. Being comfortable with being alone is the most important adult skill and you'll have to learn it one way or another. Make sure to learn it the easier way by building yourself, your hobbies, interests, and ultimately learning how to be independent. You'll be a better father, a better husband, and a better friend because you'll know you want all the people around you because they bring something extra to your life, not because you need them since you're not comfortable with being only with yourself.
• Start your own business at least once. Not all of us are cut for this kind of work, but it costs nothing (or very little) to try and see if this is something you'd thrive in. Worst case scenario - you're back at working a 9 to 5 | best case scenario - you're growing your own thing.
• Don't be afraid to love. Being hurt is a part of growin up. You don't wanna end up being 35yo with no emotional maturity whatsoever and incapable of forming a long-lasting relationship. I've seen many guys through the years end up like this and never find their true peace because they don't know how to live with their own emotions. Don't do that to yourself.
• Find a therapist. No matter how strong or "normal" (whatever this means) you think you are, you need a therapist. Everybody needs a therapist. Therapists are good, they improve us and help us grow. I'm a strong advocate of the idea that everyone should have a therapist and a mandatory therapy session at least once every month.
• Pay for a good personal trainer. Sure, they can be costly, but they'll teach you more about your body and the proper ways to exercise it in 3 months than you'd learn in 3 years working out alone. And that knowledge will stay with you forever.

I think I've covered the most important things. There are many more advice I'd love to give, but I'll leave them for some other time because I'm getting really tired already.

If you have any questions or need help with anything, leave a comment and I'll try my best to give you my advice.

Thank you for reading all of this and have a great day!

Hello everyone, I don't know if this is the right community to post this in, but I’m searching for a genuine leather wallet that can accommodate a few bills and at least five cards, but with a pocket that doesn't block RFID signals. This is because I frequently ride the subway, and it’s a hassle to remove my card from the wallet and reinsert it, especially when my hands are full (which is usually the case.) I have been looking online and everything I've found so far doesn't match what I'm looking for. Can anyone recommend solutions? Thank you so much!

I would like to shave down there again however the last time I did it the regrowth was very pokey and painful and I was wondering how to avoid that pain

Hi,

I have been wearing the same pair of underwear for 3 months. If my underwear start to smell I always put it in the washing machine. If there's a stain on it from being sick I always bleach it since its a grey color that doesn't wear out from bleach. I always like to be clean and want to smell fresh but the underwear is starting to wear down. I really need a New pair but I hate New clothing. Is there a brand that is good for me? I love my underwear to be loose feeling and stretchy and soft. I hate cotton because it shrinks and also I don't want anything that feels scratchy.

if you know a site that stocks this style and the quality isn't garbage please tell me, also ignore the tote bag in the pic it was a freebie

https://preview.redd.it/8z938px3gvtd1.png?width=105&format=png&auto=webp&s=d84a44d272b57474a5c52a6bda3b1f7033529b88

Hello, fellow men. I’m seeking for advice on shaving my balls, I’ve shaved before. But never bought a razor myself, so I was wondering what’s a good budget friendly razor to shave my balls. I’d appreciate this so much because I’m fresh into adulthood and learning the many ways into men’s lifestyle.

Hey y’all!

I’m 21, and I recently quit hockey this year, which was my main winter hobby. The winter sucks, as my main hobbies consist of outdoor activities during the summer (fishing, golf, wakeboarding, etc). Winter has barely begun, but as my summer hobbies get weathered out, I’m honestly feeling really bored. I need something else other than work and school in my life. Any recommendations on stuff I should get into? Preferably low barrier of entry and something I’m able to do by myself. Thank you

I love Saxx underwear. It's really comfortable, and I've not found any other brand that feels as good. I've tried similar undies, but they end up hurting. The only pouch underwear that feels right for me is Saxx.

That said, I can never figure out where the Vienna sausage goes. It's clear that the dumplings go in the flaps, but is the banana supposed to go in that same compartment? Or are you supposed to sling the twinkie over the side of one of the flaps while the marbles dangle inside them? The issue with the former is that it gets a bit squishy, especially when Pinocchio tells lies and his nose grows, if you catch my drift.

I really would appreciate some advice and tips on the matter. Sorry for the silly euphemisms, just trying to make this post a bit humorous and SFW.

I’ve been going through some photos on my phone, and I just realized how raggedyass I look in the summer. Literal hobo look across the board, no matter what period of life I was in. Just shorts and a “wife beater” on top + tons of deodorant to keep from smelling up in like 5. minutes after showering. 

Compared to that, soon as fall comes, I start wearing different sorts of jackets, more formal shirts, different slim jumpers, all topped off with a good bottle of perfume. Right now, that’s either my old Chez Pierre “Hero” bottle (kinda universal smelling) or Maison Alhambra Woody Oud specifically for autumn. Dare I say that I also attract more attention from the opposite gender when fall and eventually winter come, as opposed to summer. And it’s something I just now recognized — that I absolutely can’t dress for s**t when it comes to summer. Nor dress, nor have my act together just because the heat basically disables all my brain functions lol. 

Anyone else having similar troubles, or more general I guess – do you find that the way you look/dress/groom differs much at all dependin on the season? I know it really depends on the weather and climate (and where you’re from ofc), but it can’t hurt to ask

So I received these shoes as a birthday gift from my friend.

I want to style it so I can use them outside of playing basketball. Please recommend how I can style this (pants, socks, tops, etc). I appreciate all the comments

https://preview.redd.it/blzowwvda7qd1.png?width=847&format=png&auto=webp&s=cc1d7fb0da7f18bd224f8eb91c7d318fc962bcfe

I'd just like to say thank you to every person that commented today you don't understand how much this has helped me being able to talk to people about this strangers or not you have made a difference I've taken very comment into consideration and everyone that had words of advice just know that as a 18 year old boy loads of friends but nobody to tell my secrets to this rly rly rly has relived some stress ❤️ this community is obviously very set on helping young men grow and overcome, I will be way involved into this group due to the sheer amount of time everyone has put into my issue. You've made a difference thank you everyone.

(It would also kill me to find out I've worried about nothing my whole life it feels) So hi, I'm 18 years old in university now, throughout early high school I had people said to my face I smelled, I had people say "who farted/somebody poo themselves" and it always seems to be when I was near, slowly but surely this killed my confidence which I was very confident at one point always seemed to get the ladies (I am saying this as I had quite a good feeling of self worth before all this and I can still attract the women I desire but this is at the back of my head always it's not to brag), I still can get gfs and keep them as well so I'm so confused, I shower every single day properly and it's gotten to the stage now as this all started when I was about 13 that I have scrubbed my body to the point where my skin has broken out due to fear of smelling, I miss out on social events, always feel like I can't have fun due to needing to worry about this, the only reason I have the courage to speak out is due to similar posts like this, I feel like I have a normal person's hiegine and at points in my life id shower 3 times a day and still after leaving high school the anxiety stays, I am able to make new friends and things and id say the past year and maybe a half i stopped worrying about it as nobody rly mentioned it and i assumed people were being horrible to me because i wouldn't stand up for myself but today i had someone walk into my lecture hall and say "smells like poo in here" to the person they were with and. I overheard which has made my anxiety all come rushing back. I AM CONVINCED NO MATTER WHAT I DO IM A NORMAL CLEAN PERSON BUT I FEEL DIRTY AND DISGUSITG BEACUASE OF ALL THIS I need someone to talk to I can't rly talk to anybody about it. My mental health has been my priority lately and this is going to be a big step if I could just get some advice and just thanks for reading I'm really going through it right now

I'm seeing if there's any better stubble trimmers out there. I don't have a beard...I'm clean shaven and that's what I prefer.

I like being able to just trim the stubble fairly quickly and without any nicks. I typically use the .4m-1mm length of the conairman (linked). I've used it for a while...but the battery dies quickly and seeing if there is anything better.

https://a.co/d/hFTYgaG

I've tried to search on amazon for stuff but it's exhausting with the ads and the lack of clarity for me in terms of what I'm looking for / hard to tell what is good.

24 M living in a one room apartment and people are very apprehensive to me when I tell them this is my living environment. I tell people as long as I got a gaming pc setup and a screenI’ll be fine (bed optional sometimes).

I wanted to see if I could get feedback from other males my age and to understand if it is really that bad to live like this.

That's it, 19 year old, getting started with the second year of my college- came a long way for this, think I gotta work more on my chest, abs and legs from now.

Trust me it feels great, I was almost about to cry while at the gym.

I (24M) am always exhausted and have no energy I feel like shit after eating dinner. I’m trying to get more active and eat better to see if that helps. Do any of you fine gentlemen have some good recipes to fight that bloated feeling or any tips to get my energy back up!

I have been a happy user of Phillips oneblade for over 4 years now, replacing blades every 3 months, no issues while shaving or trimming. Recently however, after putting on a new set of blades, it regularly cuts into my skin and makes shaving uncomfortable. Anyone else experienced this? Has something changed about the replacement blades like materials or Manufacturing process? Or is it just the machine itself getting old?

I'm hairy pretty much everywhere. Chest, entire arms, legs, lower back, shoulders, and the back is about to fill out.

I’m so frustrated right now and really need some advice. I was talking to this girl online, and we were vibing so well. I genuinely thought something real could come of it. Then, out of nowhere, she mentions she’s got a boyfriend. Just like that, everything crashed.

Now I can’t stop watching her TikToks, even though I know it’s driving me nuts. Every post is a brutal reminder of what I can’t have, and it’s seriously messing with my head. I feel like a complete idiot for still caring so much.

How do I get past this? How do I stop obsessing and move on when she keeps popping up everywhere? Any advice would really help. Thanks.

So I have worn belts both ways but it feels unnatural to not maintain a gig line with the edge of the belt and your fly seam even if your shirt is like a polo where it does not have a line to match up with. I have worn my belt in the middle and split the fly seam and I have worn it inline and inline feels better but I think splitting the seam and centering the buckle looks better. Is there a hard and fast rule for this or is it more of a "dealer's choice" kind of thing?

May sound like a silly question, but I did have to change my shoes for a bigger size cause the ones I had became too small. I'm to turn 26 in days and I read that a guy grows till 21. They aren't swollen or anything. Just seem to be bigger, wider. Is it normal? Like is it due to aging that they just look more "manly" or there may due to weight gain? I did put on a bit weight, but it mostly accumulated in my abdomen so I don't really look very chubby just got this so called beer/pot belly look, a hard round gut sticking out.

I'm used to sweating in the summer, but right now it's absolutely ridiculous- I'm literally constantly at least slightly damp and sticky. I Just found out that I was taking two medications together I wasn't supposed to, and one of the side effects of that is excessive sweating, so I'm changing medications and hoping it calms down soon, but is there anything I can do in the meantime?

I bought prescription-strength antiperspirant, and it kiiiiinda helps on my armpits, but the rest of my torso will still just sweat like crazy. It's also a bit irritating to the skin, and I have some "burns" from using it on more sensitive areas. Anyone have pro tips for staying dry?

Has anybody had any experience with Sikar Design House Cigar Accessories? They look pretty nice. They seem new to the space. The reviews they have on their site are good with respect to quality. Looking for some feed back

Hoping you guys can recommend an appropriate pair of shoes for my dad. Here’s the problem, he operates a lathe and works with metal so the little metal shavings stick into the soles of his shoes and poke into the shoe. It doesn’t cut or scratch his foot, thank God, but it makes holes in the sole letting water in when it rains. Can you recommend a shoe with a durable sole and steel toe? He refuses to wear boots which I’ve already recommended.

I'n having a hard time figuring out what to do with my life. I'm 23 years old and currently studying medicine, but I don't really like it and am stronly considering doing something else, business especially.

People would probably describe me as a lone wolf, a bit mysterious but also a a very sound, intellegent guy with his values and integrity in order. I don't know if that's accurate, but I like to spent time alone and use that time to improve myself. I like when people around me are well but I tend to prefer to stay in the background. I kinda picture myself as some sort of school principal when I feel at my best; watching over people making sure everything is good while I do the "hard" work in the background, sacrifing my own needs to make sure people around me are well.

I feel like I'm very ambitious and want to work my ass off yet I don't give a crap about the classic stuff people obsess about, like materials things, going out for dinner, having a lot of "high profile" "friends" etc; I just want a slow life (when I'm not working) - hence I'm debating if I'll enjoy corporate life.

Anybody else feel the same way? Have you "figured" life out yet? What type of career have you choosen? I'm welcoming all inputs...

I’m mighty curious how y’all manage and hopefully succeed at maintaining that “fresh” feeling during summer, preferably for more than ~30 min. after taking a shower. You know, that feeling of being released, primed, and ready, and just comfortable in your body and mostly sweat-free. In other words, what gives you that sense of “release” when people visibly notice how chilled and relaxed you are.

I guess a lot of it depends on your diet, how much you train, and what your hygiene routine looks, so I want some second opinions on the top. The older I get, the harder it seems to get same feeling (especially during these heatwaves), but I think there’s nothing like it when you achieve that peak freshness in the summertime.

Personally, I shower about 3x times per day, especially since I’m a bigger fella. Once in the morning, once after (if) I work out, and in evening. I only use Straight deodorant because I swear it’s the only one that prevents boatloads of sweat from leaking through my shirt. I also put some finishing touches of perfume/cologne behind my ears and under my neck. Usually something inexpensive like Athens (from Chez Pierre), a really decent, “light” smell that’s based on Naxos perfumes. It gives me that additional boost I need to my confidence and I smell just about right for the day.

Of course, all this goes out of the water if I’m forced to work the entire day and I have long hours to cover. It’s pretty much a free for all in those cases, but I still apply the same routine as above at least to be y’know… presentable in the office, and not look like a hobo.

So, how do y’all do it – how often do you shower/ change clothes/ what products do you use to keep yourself fresh?