basically just that, how do you get up and do work, take care of yourselves, etc etc, idc if its in school or you work at a particular job. how do you manage to put a smiling face and talk with people, do your homework or whatever, when you feel like shit and disassociate and don't want to do anything? need advice from people who deal with mental health shit but still manage to be productive becausw they have no other choice, please help :(((

ps. also would like to know how you guys maintain an appetite and a proper sleep schedule. im so tired i end up sleeping for 12 hours on some days, or 4 hours on others. theres no in between.

I hate therapy. Therapy doesn’t help me at all. When I said I wanted help, I didn’t want to meet my parents in a room and had to sit there while the therapist stared at me for 5 minutes asking what I cut myself with. The doctor I went to before asked if she could see my wounds? I know that can be normal but what the fuck. Before my mom asked if I wanted to tell my teacher and I said I wanted to think about it but she told my fucking teacher without waiting for an answer and now she knows I’m a fucking cutter so she can never see me normal again, thank goodness I don’t have her as a teacher anymore but wtf. My teacher is the reason I had to go to the doctor since she said it would be a good idea. Why does my mom take my fucking TEACHERS advice on how to help me? Not even mine? Therapy is so stupid. I had to take tests and shit and look at flying frogs in a book for a total of 4 hours just because I said ONE TIME I didn’t know what to say? Because I was nervous as hell, it was because I was being quizzed on how deep I go and how I do it and I was sweating so much and they fucking suck. The first person who did a test was fucking weird, he kept asking me questions about if I ever wanted to get married or live together with someone, like i could know that at my age? and if I had boys in my class. No, I'm in love with my best friend now okay? He was being weird about me only having 1 friend and not knowing if other are my friend like look at the average teenager. Do I need to have 5 friends to be normal? Therapy's ENTIRE concept revolves around making everyone "normal". They wont let me accept who I am. They wont let me be myself because I'm weird but they wont say it to my face. If they try to tell me I'm autistic I swear I will just tell them I'm not. Because I'm not. Literally what is the benefit in diagnosing me with anxiety or something when all it's going to do is mark me as vulnerable.

If your therapy helps you you are very lucky and I'm so glad for you but the clinic I go to has very and reviews. All the locations together has atleast 4-5 reviews saying their child killed themselves after going there and getting no help. I'm pretty sure they just do it for the money and the feeling they are doing something good.

Today I got a blood draw at the doctor. They put on cheesecloth to soak up the blood and a sticky roll thing to keep the cheesecloth on.

Now, since I never spend money on the right things, I was like “ooh, medical supplies! I can re-use those!”

Well, for the top layer, the sticky roll, that is a fairly reasonable reaction. It has no blood on it, plus it will never directly touch a wound, so, by my standards of safety, it is not super important that it is sterile, as long as it stays fairly clean.

But for the bottom layer? The cheesecloth that had been soaking up my actual blood? Well it of course has blood spots all over it. But I, a silly person, went “oh that’s fine! I don’t mind a few red spots! I will just boil it until it is sterile!” That has got to be one of my funnier plans to acquire medical supplies. There are so many issues, the funniest of which is: I share a kitchen with other people (college dorm with communal kitchen), so random college students could walk in and they would just see me boiling up a pot of previously-used bandages like I’m Florence Nightingale or something.

I took the first baby step. I told my teacher that I trust abt hypothetical suicidal thoughts and tbh, it didnt go well.

She kinda freaked, I was rlly freaked, but the next day, we we had thought it through and I saw her again, and it went well!! She did however have to report which I expected but she helped me tell the guidance person it was just a "misunderstanding" between us and helped me write an email back to say i didnt need to go to him - I went to her after the email was sent cuz at that moment bruh i was more than scared. He wanted to "check in" 💀.

No emails got sent to my parents, thankfully. Although I didn't tell her it was me who was feeling suicidal, i'm not gonna beat myself up bc of that. anyways yall thats ur daily dose of good stuff that happened :)

I’m feeling so useless. I’m 23 and I’m still self harming. I thought I was better. Why can’t I escape this?? I was clean for like a year

Im 14 years old and go to highschool, soon we will be having a water-fun day. I really wanna go but I have cat scratches and styros all over my thighs.... I already know im going tho. What im asking is how will people re-act (ps ill be wearing a two piece and Im female.)

I’ve been increasingly depressed and disappointed in myself recently but the winter depression is setting in and I’d seen signs this was coming. I hope I can cry it out but I can’t cry lol I’m just glad I’m unable to act on them because of certain idiosyncrasies that make it terribly unlikely. And yet I feel like it again.

Bro, my friends were chatting with each other about making a 'scar map' where you draw yourself and label each scar and when and where and how you got it.

I'm just over here imagining the sheer size of the parchment I would need to draw my scar map.

(Remember that all self harm is valid, even self harm that does not leave scars :)

I fucking hate my self so much I want to swallow all my pills at once. I cut myself after fucking 2 month for some stupid reason. I want to die so bad why I am I here all I do is suffer and give people stuff. I want it all to stop. Thanks for reading I need to get this out.

i was literally like so dependent wtf it's been long enough i kind of forgot about it like what was even going on with me it's weird i still see them in passing too like im just in the same room as this person and like a year ago we were attached at the hip easily the closest friend i'd had honestly it's probably for the best though because reading back these old texts i feel less horrible about losing them and more just embarrassment honestly like why was i doing that!! and now im not super dependent on a random person and for that reason im probably doing better than i was then because holy shit i can't remember being happy at all. i guess that's a nice lesson in being mindful of where you come from because if i think im doing bad now at least it isn't like then. admittedly im not doing super but still. yeah usually ive got more direction in these but whatever i can't really think of anything else bye bye madeofstyrofoam have a holly jolly halloween

i've been sh clean for a year now and i'm really proud of myself, but i just keep relapsing on alcohol and i really need to get sober, i'd appreciate any kind of advice on how to get sober because i can't keep going like this

just looked in the mirror after a short workout sesh. I like my mass, my biceps have gained on mass quite noticeably and my forearms haven’t popped this much since ever. I went from being a near anorexic drug addict, fired from my job because of my lack of performance to a decently built muay thai artist that got into computer science and most importantly, learned how to enjoy life sober.

I haven’t felt this sharp minded and clear since literally ever. All this brainfog from the constant drugs i used to abuse, lack of proper motor functions and immense lazyness- fuck that, i do not miss it one single bit. Ofcourse i still have my flaws, quite the amount to attend to but i can say im beginning to feel proud of myself. Went from 51kg to 74, my biggest achievement so far. It took fucking years but it’s beginning to pay off.

the rest of my imperfections i shall fix with more time and a more hardened will.

I am happy to assist anybody in need of guidance, wether that be words of encouragement or simply an ear you need to speak to. Thank you for reading this, if you did. This is just a self reflection, haven’t done those in a while.

Ok so me and my friend (we’ll call him d) have been talking for like a year or two, we sat next to each other in class and go round to each others houses etc. In January (ish) d told me he liked me on animal crossing, it was so cute. I panicked bc no one had said that to me before, and I said me too, but I thought I was ace aro, so I pretended to forget about it and we kept acting like friends, but something felt off (probably just me overreacting) Tonight, i went trick or treating with d (yes we still do it lol) and he said I love you. Like properly, not even “I think I love you” or “I like you”. I said I’m acearo and I want to be friends and he said that was fine, but I’m so confused, like I feel really bad for friendzoning him and idk if I’m lying to myself that I’m ace aro and I actually do like him, I feel really bad for rejecting him, I feel like I should have said me too because I feel like I’ve made d really sad but he said it was fine but like what if it’s not lol. I also feel bad bc he’s such a nice person and I don’t want to upset him or ruin our friendship but idk if I do like him. So yeah, thanks for reading lol, if you’ve got any advice or help please let me know. Also sorry if this isn’t the right place to post this, Idk where else to put it

Thing is, I was living in Israel until a few months ago. And I'm on Tumblr, where I regularly keep seeing people on my feed joking about how wholesome it would be if I died. And I keep getting people there asking me to care, and... Whenever I try, I ruin my own ability to feel good and just become anxious and depressed for hours, but I'm not allowed not to. And I want to die. God, do I want to die. Being alive hurts. I literally considered collapsing all the progress I made in terms of mental health and start intentionally digging towards the bottom like I used to, but I promised not to, and I just... God, I wish I could stop caring. I wish I was allowed to. I want to die, damnit!

erm basically in metal shop its just me and another kid (and obviously a teacher) and yeah basically i didnt have my coat on (and this wasnt the first time he just never noticed) bc i had just spray painted this thing i cut of (if you wanna see it ((i only have a pic of it unsprayed))ill post it in the comments) and hes like "what happened to ur arms" all i could do was laugh and say dont worry about that and i didnt really wanna explain it to him bc 1 he has like uhm the medium autism ( idk how to word it im autistic myself lmao but hes more autistic than me) but hes also 14 which i usally wouldnt care but idk i guess now that im older it feels odd i mean i literally have had just a little less scars but basically visually the same lmao . i just thought this was something funny and i didnt know who to share it with so ya :3 oh also sorry if its hard to read LOL

I didn't wear long sleeves to work today because I was out earlier in the day and it hadn't crossed my mind. I work in a youth centre for context

A kid I was talking to asked me if I had a cat, which confused me at first until he said that it was because of all the cuts. I told him I have dogs and that's why

I feel awful

Did I accidentally expose him to something he shouldn't know anything about?

Idk what to do