• Teen beach is an important part of mhoc history.

• Erasing it with a bland corporate logo is erasing our history.

• Ray should resign or apologise for their sin.

recognise the coop party :(

This house recognises:

• That the current blacklisting model is flawed and has lead to controversy within the house.

• A better metric is needed to discern what countries should receive aid.

• The results of the Eurovision Jury Vote indicate loyalty to the glorious United Kingdom.

• The countries who gave us 0 points are unworthy of our aid, for we maybe could have won

This House Commits to

• Blacklisting the countries who's jury vote gave us 0 points, and inadvertently contributed to our pitiful second place finish.

This House Notes:

• ITV has the rights to many important live cultural events, such as the football.

• That the ITV Hub app is absolutely gobshite, especially the fact you cannot chromecast live TV.

This House Agrees to:

• Immediately nationalise ITV Hub and redeploy staff at GCHQ to developing a functioning app.

what's taking so long??>?

motion to delete mhoc

This house recognises that:

• NubBank, led by the inimitable Sir Pada of Nubbins, is a vital part of Britain's banking sector, and MHOC's banter sector

• NubBank has been out of commission for literal yonks, because no one can be arsed fixing it.

• Sir Nub says that the only person who can fix it is /u/ohprkl because he's completely useless with most forms of modern technology.

And ergo calls upon the government to:

• Lock /u/ohprkl in a dark secluded room until NubBank is fixed.

• Maintain the submission of a daily reminder to /u/ohprkl in MHOC main chat, advising them to fix Nub Bank.

This house recognises that:

• Model Twitter was insanely toxic and did nothing but divide friends and create pseudo-drama against teenagers.

• Model Twitter has been deleted, promising a new era of openness and tolerance in the MHOCsphere.

• The Quad deserve credit for having the common sense to take this action before half of MHOC had a breakdown.

And ergo calls on the government to:

• Congratulate the Quad on their contribution to the renewed wellbeing of all MHOCers.

• Commit to never returning a canon-meta fuckaroo to MHOC ever again.

Title says it all really

This House Recognises That:

• Rafa Benitez has done a brilliant job of leading lambs away from the abattoir for the last three years at St. James Park

• He has finally managed to get away from Newcastle after 40 months of trying to do so.

• This is a brilliant achievement for the banter heuristic

And ergo calls upon the Government to:

• Issue Rafa Benitez with a knighthood for breaking the hearts of Newcastle United fans everywhere.

• Force Newcastle United to appoint Tony "Tenko" Pulis as their new manager.

• Also knight Mike Ashley for ruining Newcastle United Football Club.

No hat when? No hat now.

That this House notes that: –
(1) The Red Lion has been a well known institution of Parliament for many years;
(2) The Red Lion enjoyed popularity from many members of this House.

This House urges the re-establishment of the Red Lion.

That this house believes that:

• Video Game Console companies have repeatedly shown that they can not be trusted to preserve Physical Games, let alone Digital ones.
• Video Game preservation is important.
• Video Games are part of our culture.
• Digital only consoles threaten the preservation of Video Games.

I beg to move

that this House recognises: -

(1) taking positions on issues is quite a bold stance
(2) ending divisions will lead to less division
(3) having votes takes quite a lot of time anyway
(4) people who disagree with us get quite upset

and therefore

that this House has no confidence.

this is EDM no. 69 because that's the weed number lmaooo

This House Recognises That:

• MTwitter has word limits
• MTwitter is shit
• The Red Lion is Better

And ergo calls upon the Speakership to:

• Remove MTwitter

This House Recognises That:

• MHoC needs more wholesome
• Civilised Chat is underused
• Civilised is not a hip word.

And ergo calls upon the Speakership to:

• Rename Civilised Chat to Wholesome Chat

This House recognises:

• That the Paris Climate Agreement is a vital step in the right direction towards combating climate change

• That two 2017 studies in the "Nature" scientific journal shows that no countries are currently on track to meet the Paris Climate Agreement targets.

• That the situation is something of a prisoners dilemma, with any country that does not follow suit with regulating the economy being rewarded with a stronger economy over other countries.

• That a trade embargo with the entire world would not work as a deterrent, and that the United Kingdom possesses a nuclear deterrent.

• That multiple tactical nuclear strikes would serve a dual purpose of eliminating polluters and causing a nuclear winter, cooling the climate.

This House Urges:

• That the government announces that the Trident defence system nuclear codes and submarines are to be entrusted to a specialised team consisting of MI6 operatives, and Greenpeace and Earth Liberation Front representatives.

• That this group should be instructed to fire the missiles at the largest population centres in every country that fails to meet the terms of the Paris Climate Agreement on it’s deadline, as well as any country that militarily threatens the United Kingdom as a result of this decision.

• That the government should then consider the Trident defence system to be officially disbanded.

This House Affirms:

1. Colombia have been dirty pricks this whole match

2. Nuking the opponent's families is a valid strategy

3. What's even in Colombia?

4. A nuclear warhead shall be fired at Bogota as soon as this EDM reaches 10 signatures

This House affirms that:

• /r/MHOCEDM has died a horrible painful death

• That /r/MHOCEDM meant a lot to a lot of members

• That May should be designated as a national month of mourning for /r/MHOCEDM, with the Union Jack flown at half-mast for the whole month.

I swear I recognize them, who is that? Maybe they went to high school me with?

This House affirms that tea is a necessary good for the people of the United Kingdom, and that therefore a publicly owned company must maintain a steady supply of subsidised tea, in case of emergency.

This House affirms that LGBTQ+ people in the United Kingdom deserve recognition as equal members of society, and that this country needs to proactively pursue policies to address long standing discrimination these communities have faced.

This house recognizes that:

• The Weakest Link is one of the best shows in history of British television

• Anne Robinson knows how to throw shade

And ergo calls upon the Government to:

• Order the MBBC to make another season of The Weakest Link

This house recognises that:

• Sex is gross
• Sex leads to the creation of more humans, which is generally a bad move due to their destructive and wasteful tendencies
• The sexualised nature of modern society leads many asexual people to feel as if they do not belong

And ergo calls upon the Government to:

• Ban sex

This house recognises that:

• Spartan John-117, otherwise known as "Master Chief" played a vital part in the defence of the human race
• The sacrifices made by Master Chief and other Spartans have not yet been truly recognised by this House

And ergo calls upon the Government to:

• Officially thank Master Chief for his services

This House Recognises That:

• Rainbows are beautiful

• Colours are beautiful

• Rainbows are inclusive

• Britain is inclusive

And ergo calls upon the Government to:

Make rainbow an official colour.

I might regret this when I'm less sleep deprived, but fuck it.

This House Recognises That:

• Madeleine McCann was abducted 10 Years Ago.
• This abduction was in part due to parental negligence.
• It is in poor taste to still be using the abduction of your daughter 10 years later to be selling books.
• Especially if it happened because you were negligent in your responsabilities.
• Madeleine McCann is, sadly, almost certainly dead.
• Continued reports on the McCanns are a waste of ink and pixels.

And ergo calls upon the Government to:

• Restrict the excessive reporting on the family.

This House Recognises:

• The Comments made by an IRL UKIP spokesperson that state that the Green Party has policies including that "unicorns should be provided on the NHS" amongst others.

• That this policy has merit.

And therefore calls upon the government to:

• Provide Unicorns on the NHS.

This EDM was submitted by /u/Yoshi2010, Lord Bolton.

This House recognises that:

• Meat is delicious and nutritious.
• Devious Members of Parliament have tried to ban it in the palace of Westminster on Mondays.
• Meals containing meat are an important part of British life, society, and tradition.
• It would constitute unreasonable working conditions to deprive lawmakers of such meals.

Therefore this House calls for:

Meals with meat in them to be served at no charge in the Houses of Parliament on Mondays

This House recognises

1. Ponds pose a serious risk to our children

2. The least a passerby can be reasonably expected to do is throw a lifesaver ring to a drowning child in a pond

3. Not all ponds have such facilities

Therefore this motion calls for the government to install inflatable livesaver ring next to all ponds in the UK