So i live in an apartment complex and my sink got clogged and it took the maintenance guy forever to come and i couldnt wash the dishes and after cleaning the sink i finally got to do some dishes that had been waitinf but now everything smells like mold and jm afraid to cook with my pots and pans. How ling should i bleach them for?

I was instructed to post this here, so here it is:

Spicy Avocado Hummus

1 Can Chickpeas

1/3 Cup Tahini

4 Tablespoons Quality Olive Oil

3 Tablespoons Lemon Juice

4 Garlic Cloves

1/2 Large Avocado

1/2 Cup Baby Spinach (Optional for added nutrition and texture)

2 Jalapeno Peppers

2 Serrano Peppers

2 Habanero Peppers

1 Roasted Red Pepper (I roast them in the oven)

(Additional Spices can be experimented with but this is what I used for my last batch)

1/2 Teaspoon Cumin

1/4 Teaspoon Cayenne Pepper

1/2 Teaspoon Garlic Powder

1/2 Teaspoon Onion Powder

Blend it all in a Food Processor or Blender. If using a weaker blender, blend everything else first before adding and blending tahini and chickpeas. Paprika can also be added afterwards if that is your preference for hummus.

And, of course, you can always leave out the peppers and cayenne if you don't want it to be spicy.

My apartment lacks kitchen privilege. I spent around nine hours today simmering garlic for "40" clove chicken (probably was closer to 60), and the air still burns even now, a couple hours after packing up the food and washing up. All my windows are open, but the air is still.

This batch of "40" clove chicken:

Hardware:

• 3L slow cooker
• 5.5 cup rice cooker

Ingredients:

• 1kg chicken (3 - 6 legs, depending upon what the butcher has)
• "40" peeled cloves of garlic
• 1 medium onion
• 250mL chicken stock
• salt
• pepper
• 2 - 3 rice cooker scoops (360 - 540mL) uncooked white rice

Steps:

• peel and chop onion
• place onion, garlic, and chicken in slow cooker
• season with some salt and pepper
• mix
• add chicken stock
• run slow cooker on low for 8 hours

After slow cooker finishes:

• wash rice
• put rice in rice cooker
• add onions, garlic, and liquor from slow cooker to rice cooker
• add water if more liquid needed
• run rice cooker on regular setting

Note: chicken will fall apart when being removed from slow cooker; use a spoon to scoop it out

Another note: serve this with tasty, steamed or crunchy vegetables. It needs contrasting colours, tastes, and textures.

I'm picky as hell, but I do have some stuff I like- which if I'm honest, is usually simply flavoured and plain. But it works, so hey.

As an idea of what I normally do:

-A handful each of pea shoots, alfalfa sprouts, baby spinach, and whatever mixed greens are in the fridge -Some chopped cucumber, celery, and bean sprouts (basically anything mildly flavoured and not offensively textured aka tonatoes) -Flax & Chia seeds, and whatever other nuts/seeds I can get -Sometimes some cheese, like mozzarella or white cheddar or whatever.

And then I dress it with a little lemon and oil, seasoned with whatever spices sound good at the time.

I'm curious of other stuff I could try out aside from the 'normal' salad options (because tomatoes are the worst thing ever), and I'm hoping my fellow shitlords can help me out with some tasty ideas!

Granny Bear’s Chocolate Mousse Cheesecake - Real Recipe

My Granny started making this cake long before I was born. She started teaching me how to make it when I was 8. It became a family favorite. She would only make it for Family Reunions or Special Birthdays…. And….Sometimes for Christmas - if we were really good that year…

The biggest secret to making this right is taking your time. You can not rush any steps. Especially the cooling between layers. Figure you’ll spend a day making it. It’s so worth the time.

Do not use a graham cracker crust with this - it doesn’t work. Seriously, don’t even use other types of nuts. That’s coming from someone who hates walnuts. The walnut pastry dough is the only one that does work.

This is the one time you want to splurge on the right chocolate and cocoa. I introduced my Granny to Ghirardelli Chocolate in the 1970’s. Even though we have both tried other brands, neither of us have ever found anything that works as perfectly or makes it taste as heavenly.

Even though she had a Kitchenaid Stand mixer, and, eventually, a food processor, she always went back to making this particular desert by hand and with a hand mixer. I’ve done it both ways, and tried other time saving tips, and I, too, have gone back to making it by hand. It simply comes out better.

In case anyone doubts it, this is NOT a healthy dessert. Unless you’re considering mental health - then it makes it a SUNSHINEY DAY!! Please don’t ask me how many calories are in this or amount per slice. I have no clue but I’m betting it’s a lot. This will NOT be on any diet plan. But it’s worth every bite.

I hope you enjoy!

**1st Layer - Walnut Pastry Dough**


**Ingredients**

*3/4 cup walnuts - chopped very fine - not quite powder but almost

*2 cups all-purpose flour

*2 tablespoons granulated sugar

*1 teaspoon salt

*2 tablespoons cold butter, cut into pieces

*3 tablespoons melted butter

*6-7 tablespoons ice cold water

**Directions**

*Preheat oven to 350°F.

*Coat a 9” x 13” pan lightly with oil.

*In a large bowl, combine the walnuts, flour, sugar and salt until well mixed 

*Add cold butter and blend with pastry blender to pea size..

*Drizzle melted butter over the flour mixture. Use your fingertips to rub the melted butter into the mixture. 

*One tablespoon at a time, add ice cold water and mix with a fork until dough is crumbly and holds together when pressed.

*Press firmly and evenly into 9” x 13” pan - along the bottom and all the way up the sides

*Bake 15 minutes and let cool completely.



**2nd Layer - Chocolate Cheesecake**


**Ingredients**

*2 (4 oz). Ghirardelli Dark Chocolate Baking Bars - chopped 

*4 (8oz) packages cream cheese, room temperature

*1 1/4 cups plus 2 tablespoons sugar

*1/3 cup Ghirardelli Sweet Ground Chocolate & Cocoa

*4 large eggs

**Directions**

*Preheat oven to 350 degrees

*Stir chopped chocolate in metal bowl set over saucepan of simmering water until melted and smooth. 

*Remove bowl from over water and cool chocolate until lukewarm but still pourable. 

*Blend cream cheese, sugar, and cocoa powder until smooth. 

*Blend in eggs 1 at a time. Go slowly - they need to be incorporated completely

*Mix in lukewarm chocolate. I prefer to do this by hand.

*Pour filling over crust; smooth top. 

*Bake until center is just set and just appears dry, about 1 hour. 

*Cool completely, then refrigerate. The cake MUST be cold before adding on the next layer. The colder the better. 




**3rd Layer - Chocolate Mousse**


**Ingredients**

*1 (4 oz) Ghirardelli Bittersweet Chocolate Baking Bar - chopped 

*2 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut in small pieces

*2 tablespoons strong coffee or espresso 

*2 large eggs, separated

*1/8 teaspoon cream of tartar

*4 tablespoons granulated white sugar, divided

*1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

*1 cup heavy whipping cream


**Directions**

*In a medium-sized stainless steel bowl set over a saucepan of simmering water, melt the chocolate, butter, and coffee. Remove from heat and set aside to cool for a few minutes. 

*Whisk in the two egg yolks. Cover and refrigerate.

*In a large perfectly-clean dry bowl, using a hand mixer, whip the two egg whites with the cream of tartar until foamy.

*Gradually add 2 tablespoons of sugar and continue to beat until stiff peaks form, yet the whites are still glossy and not dry. Set aside.

*In another bowl (preferably ice cold), whip the heavy cream, remaining 2 tablespoons sugar and vanilla extract until soft peaks form.  

*Remove the chocolate mixture from the refrigerator, and gently stir a couple of spoonfuls of the beaten egg whites into the chocolate mixture to lighten it, and then carefully fold the remaining whites into the chocolate mixture, gently but thoroughly. 

*Carefully fold in the whipped cream.  

*Gently mound out over cheesecake layer, spread carefully and even out top. Don’t work it too much. You want as much air as possible left in. 

*Refrigerate. The colder the better.




**4th Layer - Ganache and Fresh Berries**


**Ingredients**

*2 (4 oz) Ghirardelli Semi-sweet Chocolate Baking Bar - chopped  

*3/4 cup heavy whipping cream

*2 tablespoons unsalted butter

*1 or 2 pints fresh berries - any kind you like - washed and dried


**Directions**

*Place the chopped chocolate in a medium sized heatproof bowl. Set aside. 

*Heat the cream and butter in a small saucepan over medium heat. 

*Bring just to a boil. 

*Immediately pour the boiling cream over the chocolate and allow to stand, **without stirring**, for a 2 or 3 minutes. This will make a smoother - creamier frosting

*Stir gently with a spoon or whisk until smooth. (you do not want to incorporate air into the ganache)

*Cool ganache until lukewarm but still pourable.

*Take cake out of fridge or freezer.

*Very gently pour the ganache into the center of the cake. 

*Working quickly, spread the ganache with a large metal spatula or knife, using big strokes to push the ganache around. (This will create an even coating of ganache.)

*Top with Berries.

*Let the ganache set before covering and storing the cake.


**Side Note** - you can freeze portions of this cake as long as there aren’t any berries on it. 

**To Freeze:** Place remaining cake in freezer for about 1 hour. When frozen - take out, cut into slices. Double wrap slices and place back in freezer til needed. 

Thaw in refrigerator. Or do as my sons’ do: eat it like an Ice cream sandwich. :)

I read the side bar. What is this sub for?

This is not a real alfredo recipe. Dairy and I do not get along well, but that doesn't mean I stop looking for delicious alternatives.

Mats:

• 1 lb spiral pasta - I used cavateppi

• 1 head cauliflower, florets removed from stem

• 1 onion, cut into 1-inch chunks

• 5 cloves garlic, peeled

• 2 Tbsp olive oil

• 2c almond milk

• Optional tasty add-ins - I used sun-dried tomatoes and kalamata olives

How-To

Heat oven to 425. In a baking dish, toss the cauliflower florets, chopped onion and WHOLE garlic cloves in the oil. Bake for 30 minutes, stirring every 10 minutes or so, or until the cauliflower is easily pierced with a fork.

When the veggies are done, blend with the almond milk in a food processor. You'll probably need to do it in two batches unless you have a really big machine. You want a very smooth consistency. If it's too chunky, add a bit more milk until you have a thick, but smooth, almost-paste.

While the sauce is processing, heat a big pot of water until boiling, then cook the pasta according to package directions. Drain and pour into a big bowl.

Add the sauce and any add-ins to the pasta and stir

I am a finicky bitch, and limp veggies turn me off. The one time I tried to make ratatouille, ugh, oh hell no. Veggies were mush and the sauce was bland.

So. Who's got a recipe for this?

So here are the crack cookies I was talking about from my last post. They are fucking awesome in my humble opinion.

This is actually two cookies squished into one.

Heat the oven to 375F.

For the first cookie you need:

-2 cups flour

-1/2 teaspoon baking soda

-1 and ½ (12 tablespoons) sticks of salted butter (melt that shit)

-1 cup of brown sugar

-1 egg

-1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

-1/2 teaspoon of salt

-2 teaspoons of cinnamon

-1 bag of milk chocolate chips (the 12ish ounce bags, add more or less if you want more or less, or dark chocolate chips, it’s your fucking cookie)

Mix all that shit together for your first dough. Put that shit aside

For the second cookie you need:

-1 and 1/2 cups flour

-1/2 cup of cocoa powder

-1/2 teaspoon baking soda

-1 and ½ (12 tablespoons) sticks of salted butter (melt that shit)

-1 cup of brown sugar

-1 egg

-1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

-1/2 teaspoon of salt

-1 bag of white chocolate chips (the 12ish ounce bags)

Mix all that shit together for your second dough. Roll each dough into 1” balls. Then tear each ball in half and mush a half of a ball of the plain cookie dough with half of a ball of the chocolate cookie dough. Put your 50/50 cookie dough balls on a damn cookie sheet and let them bake for about 9ish minutes (Might be longer depending on elevation).

Eat your damn cookies.

This was a nice, flavorful sauce to serve with salmon steaks. I paired it with steamed broccoli and couscous to round out the meal.

Mats

• 2 skinless salmon fillets, 4oz each

• 3 ruby red grapefruits

• 2 tsp olive oil

• 1 shallot, minced

• 1 knob ginger (thumb-sized), peeled and finely minced

• 1 Tbsp and 1 tsp honey

• 2 tsp lemon juice

• about 10 thinly sliced fresh basil leaves

How-To

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Spray some cooking spray onto a shallow pan and place the salmon in the dish. Season the tops of the fish with about 1/2 tsp salt and 1/4 tsp pepper. Bake at 350 for 18 minutes.

While the fish is cooking, supreme one of the grapefruits. To supreme, cut a slice off the top and bottom of the grapefruit, stand it on end, then cut the peel and pith (the white under the skin) off in vertical slices. You'll lose a bit of the flesh, but that's ok. Next, scoop the juicy flesh out of each little section, discarding the white membranes that separate the sections. Put the flesh in a separate bowl.

Juice the other two grapefruits into a different small bowl. A nifty trick (if you don't have a juicer) is to roll the fruits around on the countertop, pressing hard. This helps break up the membrane and makes juicing easier.

Heat 2 tsp olive oil in a small pan. Add the shallots and cook for about 2 minutes until the shallots are soft.

Add the grapefruit juice, ginger and honey to the shallots and bring to a boil. Turn the heat down to a simmer and cook until reduced by half. This will take about 10 minutes.

After the sauce is reduced, add the reserved grapefruit flesh and the fresh basil. Remove from heat.

Serve the fish with a generous helping of sauce.

I did chicken in this marinade, as it's a good base to hold the flavors. White fish or shrimp would probably be nice too.

Mats:

• 1/2cup Dijon Mustard

• 1/4cup packed brown sugar

• 1/4cup red wine vinegar

• 1tsp dry mustard powder

• 1tsp salt

• 1tsp ground black pepper

• 6 cloves garlic, crushed

How-to:

Combine all ingredients and mix until combined. I used a food processor so I didn't need to crush the garlic by hand.

Marinate meat of choice for at least 4 hours.

*This was enough marinade for 2 chicken breasts and 2 chicken thighs (because I needed to use them up). I cooked it by running 3 onions through my mandolin and lining a baking dish with them, then putting the chicken on top and dumping the marinade over it all. 45 minutes at 400 degrees and paired with broccoli.

This is a great recipe to throw pretty much any vegetable in. Hit up your local farmer's market and score some fresh ones!

Mats:

• 2 1/2 tsp olive oil

• 1 red bell pepper

• 6 green onions

• 3c vegetable broth

• 3 cloves garlic, finely minced

• 1 tsp tumeric

• 1c short grain rice

• 3c broccoli

• 1c peas

• 1 pint cherry tomatoes

• 2 Tb lemon juice (or 1 lemon, cut into wedges)

How-to

In a large saucepan, heat the oil over medium-high heat.

Cut the green onions and bell pepper into 1/2 inch chunks and saute for 5 minutes.

Add 3c vegetable broth, 3 cloves of finely minced garlic, 1 tsp tumeric, 1 tsp salt and 1/2 tsp ground black pepper. Bring to a boil.

Add 1c short grain rice, stir, reduce heat to medium low and cover. Cook for 10 minutes.

Meanwhile, chop the broccoli into bite-sized pieces, about 1 inch. Halve the cherry tomatoes and artichoke hearts.

When the 15 minutes are up, add the broccoli, peas, and cherry tomatoes to the paella. Stir a bit, making sure to scrape the bottom of the saucepan so the rice doesn't stick.

Cover again and cook for 10 minutes.

Remove from heat, add lemon juice and stir.

Serve!

Darlings,

This is my grandmother's recipe for dessert cherries / preserved cherries. We eat them on ice cream, and she makes them into a delicious black forest cake once a year (recipe TBD once I translate it, she can only write in Greek).

YOU WILL NEED:

• About 5lbs of ripe cherries. If you want less/more, then just do the math accordingly.

• A tool for pitting.

• Jars / canning supplies, with your favorite canning method in mind.

• At least two cups of sugar.

• A pot big enough to hold the cherries and sugar for boiling.

Steps:

1. Wash and de-pit all the cherries. My yiayia is old school and does it with a sewing needle. If you have a pitter, use that. I crush them with my hands and squeeze the pits out, but keep the juice in the pot. We have also cut them in half before, and used lobster forks to get the pits out. The point is - for baking, we like whole cherries, and try to keep them whole.

2. Put all the pitted cherries in a big ole pot.

3. Dump in the following sugar ratios:

• Not too sweet / more bitter - two cups

• Sweet and tart - Three cups

• Diabeetus - Four cups

3. Heat the sugar and cherries on the stove, stirring frequently. The sugar should melt and the juice should run from the cherries. It should eventually create a syrup.

4. Boil the cherries in that beetus syrup for at least five minutes. Be careful that the pot doesn't overflow. Scoop off the weird pink foam that forms as you go.

5. Yiayia used to boil for a DAY to try and boil off the extra syrup. I like the syrup. Basically after the first five minutes, you can boil for as long as you like, keeping or discarding syrup. But you're essentially done.

6. Can them and eat them on and inside of everything.

I think they'd also be a bangin' pie filling, especially with some cut rhubarb thrown in.

Enjoy!

Sauce:

2 tbs butter (or oil if you like)

2 tbs flour

1 cup milk

3-4 garlic cloves, minced

Pinch or two salt

Pinch or two pepper

1/4-1/2 cup Parmesan cheese

Red pepper flakes to taste (not necessary but I like it.)

Melt butter in saucepan, add flour and stir until it's cooked down (don't let it burn!) add warm milk and turn up heat to medium, allow to boil and whisk like you would gravy. Add all other ingredients and take off heat. You can sauté the garlic beforehand if you want. I also add onions sometimes.

Dough:

3 cups flour

1 cup very warm water

2 tbs oil

1 packet yeast

Pinch salt

Pinch sugar

Mix in bread maker on dough setting, allow to rise.

Preheat oven to 350 f

Stretch dough very thin on pan, leaving about 1/2 inch pinched up around the edges for the crust. Let sauce cool, put on top of dough.

You can put whatever toppings you want. I do broccoli, sweet corn, chicken, mozzarella, and more garlic (because yum!) spinach is really good on top of this as well.

Bake until cheese is all bubbly and crust is browned. I've never timed it, I just keep an eye on it.

Trying this from memory, I'll comment if I forget anything. Units in freedom because I am free.

2/3 cup yogurt 2 tblspn coconut milk 2 tblspn water 2 teaspoons honey 1 teaspoon peanut butter 1 teaspoon cocoa powder 1 teaspoon vanilla 1 tblspn flax seed 3 tblspns dry milk 4 ice cubes 8 frozen strawberries

Grind all but last two together in a blender. Pause. Add strawberries two or three at a time. Grind. Pause. Scrape sides of blender. Add ice cubes. Grind. Pour into cup. Drink. Be cheery. Should make two cups.

If you don't have strawberries on hand, leave out the flax and add a banana in place of the strawberry.

Don't recall the calorie count, but it was around 300-350 I think. They were part of a diet thing my mom put us on, and she kept making them afterwards. So good, especially for people with sensitive morning stomachs!

So, last two posts feature tilapia, and the last three are fish. Eh, fish are good for you.

Mats

• 4, 4oz tilapia fillets

• 1 can diced tomatoes

• 4 cloves garlic, crushed

• 1tsp dried oregano or 1Tbsp fresh

• 1tsp dried basil or 1Tbsp fresh

• 1/4 tsp salt

• 1/4 tsp ground black pepper

• 1 green bell pepper

How-to

Preheat oven to 350. Coat the bottom of a baking pan with oil (either spray oil or like 1 Tbsp olive oil)

Place tilapia fillets on the baking dish, thickest parts in the middle

Drain the extra liquid from the diced tomatoes and dump them into a bowl.

Add the crushed garlic, basil and oregano (chopped if the leaves are too big), salt and pepper. Mix.

Spoon the tomato mixture on top of the fish, piling it deepest on the middle of the fillets.

Remove the core and seeds from the bell pepper and cut into either 1/2inch thick strips or cubes. I did strips because they're pretty, but cubes are easier to eat.

Place the peppers around the sides of the baking dish.

Whole thing goes into the oven for 15 minutes.

Serve over rice, and make sure to pour the pan juices over top as a dressing. I did Mexican yellow rice for a bit of extra pop of color.

Though ironically you can omit the tequila if you don't like it.

Mats

• 4 tilapia fillets

• 2 shallots, peeled and diced into 1 cm bits (or small onion)

• 2 Tbsp olive oil

• 2 Tbsp red wine vinegar

• 2 Tbsp fresh oregano, or 1 tsp dried

• 1 tsp salt

• 1 tsp pepper

• 2 Tbsp Tequila (optional. If omitting, double lime juice)

• 2 Tbsp lime juice

How-to

Combine all the ingredients in a plastic bag and shake well to combine. Store in the refrigerator for 1-4 hours, flipping over halfway.

Optional - run the non-fish ingredients through a food processor before adding them to the marinating bag. This gives the sauce a smoother consistency

When finished marinating, pre-heat an oven to 425. Cover a baking dish with aluminum foil (for easy clean up), then place the fish in a single layer. Pour the marinade over the top of the fish in a thick layer.

More optional - top the fish with thinly sliced zucchini or summer squash

Bake for 15-18 minutes or until fish is opaque at its thickest point. Serve over rice.

One upon a time, I thought my husband was teasing me by telling me to get the Liquid Smoke out of the cabinet for him. Ha ha, I said, you can't fool me...

Mats:

• 3 Tbsp butter
• 1 onion, cut into 1cm sized bits
• 2 stalks of celery, cut into 1 inch bits
• 2 cloves of garlic, peeled and minced
• 2 Tbsp flour
• 4 cups chicken broth
• 2 carrots, cut into 1 inch bits
• 2 cups potatoes, cut into 1 inch bits. This is about 1 lb.
• 1 tsp pepper
• 1 tsp dried dill
• 1 lb of salmon, bones and skin removed and cut into bits. You can either use fresh salmon and cut it up or canned salmon.
• 1 cup whole milk
• 2 caps Liquid Smoke, because it is a thing.

How-to:

In a medium pot, melt the butter over medium heat. Add the onion, celery, and garlic and cook for 5 minutes or until the onion is translucent.

Add the flour and stir well to make a roux.

When the flour is making a sticky paste on the veggies, add the chicken broth, carrots, potatoes, pepper and dill.

Cover and boil for 20 minutes.

Turn the heat to low and add the milk and salmon, stirring well. Heat the soup and keep stirring for 5 minutes.

Add the Liquid Smoke, stir, and serve.

Maybe the pun was funnier in my head. This recipe is tweaked for a crock-pot, but you could also make it in a half hour in a regular pot over higher heat.

Mats:

• 2 sweet potatoes, cut into 1-inch chunks

• 2 cups green beans, cut into 1-inch lengths

• 1 can black beans

• 14oz vegetable broth

• 1 onion, peeled and sliced into 1-inch chunks

• 2tsp Caribbean jerk seasoning. Caution: spicy. If you don't like spicy, substitute 1.5tsp allspice and 1/2tsp nutmeg.

• 1/2tsp dried thyme

• 1/2tsp salt

• 1/2 tsp cinnamon

How-to:

Combine all ingredients in a crock-pot, stir well. Cover and cook on low for 5 hours. Serve over rice.

Non-crockpot

In a medium pot, bring the vegetable broth, various spices, and 1/2c of water to a boil. Add the chopped sweet potatoes, cover, and boil for 10 minutes.

Add the onion and beans, cover, boil for 10 more minutes.

Add the green beans, cover, boil for 5 minutes.

Still serve over rice.

Springtime again! Start the season with some fresh veggies

Mats:

• 1/2cup pine nuts. Also called pignoli nuts

• 1 Tbsp lemon juice

• 4 Tbsp olive oil

• 8 cloves minced

• 2 medium leeks, sliced

• 1 lb broccoli raab, chopped into bite sized bits

• 1 cup peas

• 8 oz farfalle (bowtie) pasta

• 1/4c white wine

How-to

Heat a pot of water to boiling, add the pasta and cook for 10 minutes or until done. When you drain the pasta, save 1/3c of the pasta water.

Heat a small saucepan over medium-low heat. Add the pine nuts and toast for 5 minutes, stirring often.

Add the toasted pine nuts to a food processor with 2 Tbsp olive oil and 1 Tbsp lemon juice. Blend on high until smooth.

Add the pine nut mixture to the reserved pasta water. Stir so the pine nut mixture is soupy

In a large saucepan, heat 2 Tbsp olive oil over medium heat. Add the crushed garlic and cook for 1 minute, stirring often. The garlic should get nice and browned.

Add the sliced leek and cook for 5 minutes, stirring often.

Add the chopped broccoli raab and white wine, cook for 10 minutes. Stir halfway through

Add the peas and cook for 2 minutes, stirring often.

Turn off the heat, add the cooked pasta and stir so it's combined.

Pour the soupy pine nut mixture over top and mix well.

Mats

• 1 Tbsp olive oil
• 1 baseball-sized onion, chopped into 2cm bits
• 4 garlic cloves, crushed or minced
• 3 carrots, sliced into bite-sized rounds. If you wash them, you don't have to peel them
• 3 celery stalks, leaves removed, sliced into bite-sized bits
• 28 oz diced tomatoes (one big can or two small ones. I like the fire-roasted ones. You could also use 4 fresh ones, diced)
• 6 cups stock. Use chicken, broth or bullion cubes, or vegetable stock if you want vegetarian
• 2 cups water
• 28oz chickpeas/garbanzo beans. One big can or two little ones
• 1 and 1/2 cups ditalini pasta. Or other tiny pasta
• 1/4 cup fresh basil, chopped, or 1 Tbsp dried basil

Technique

Heat oil on medium in the largest pot you have. Add the onion and garlic, cook 5 minutes. Stir a few times while cooking to keep the garlic from burning.

Add the carrots and celery, cook for three minutes on medium

Add the tomatoes (and their juices!), the stock, and water. Increase heat to high and bring to a boil.

While waiting, take about half the chickpeas, drain them, and mush them with either the back of a fork or a food processor. Or don't, this just makes the broth a bit thicker.

Add all the chickpeas, basil,and the uncooked pasta to the pot. Boil 8 minutes or however long your pasta of choice takes to be done.

If you want to splurge, top with 1/2 tsp grated pecorino romano / parmesean cheese

Ok, it used to be chicken veggies rice, but I've been going paleo for a while and rice isn't an option. If you want to carb it up, whatevs, I won't judge.

Now! Simple ingredients, but you have no idea how friggin' delicious this is. It's tantamount to a magic spell for what it does versus what it has. Seriously- don't judge this recipe by its ingredients.

Cabbage (1head) Broccoli (florets, 3 heads) Various veggies (whatever) Chicken (at least 6oz.) Butter (about 4 tbl.)

Cut up your veggies, depositing in a bowl while a large frying pan heats up under medium low/medium heat. I've never made this without cabbage, but the veggie selection is easily altered; I've added mushrooms, onions, garlic, kale, carrots, brussel sprouts, all sorts of craziness. Whatever's available. Have it waiting in a bowl. Then...

cut up the chicken. Two breasts? Fine. A breast and a leg? Whatever. Just get some meat in there. Honestly? Don't care if it's chicken- just looking for some protein.

Pan's preheated, so slap in the meat. It sizzles and screams. You sprinkle a bit of salt and pepper and push it around for a few seconds, then...

dump that whole bowl of veggies on top. Sprinkle with salt and pepper and place a few pats of butter over the top. cover as best you can and walk away for ten minutes.

When you return, stir and walk away again.

What you're shooting for is fully cooked chicken and veggies with browned edges. There should be no liquid in the pan and the cabbage (broccoli, onions, etc) should have a brown patch. It will sound and smell different from where it was. If you're paranoid about burning, add butter, but never ever shut it down before the veggies have caramelized.

Once you've got it, eat it.

Does this sound like the kind of recipe that leaves you licking the pan? Then why am I licking the pan?!? It is the epitome of "greater than the sum of its parts".

One time a friend visited just after I finished preparing some of this. I'd eaten my share and was heading for seconds when she arrived. I reluctantly offered her some and she polished it off. I've never truly forgiven her.

She asked for the recipe.