So I’m looking at bringing this up again for my gf. And I know one of the things we will be looking for is familiarity and connection for the third. Also she tends to want me to have most of the say in the guy so how would I approach someone to do this? I feel like just being like “hey you wanna piece of ass?” Is a little too forward so I guess I’m just looking for recommendations on how to ask a guy to have sex with my gf without them judging me or whatever.

I've read here that many wives like to meet the 3rd a few times to feel things out. I've seen several comments about ladies wanting to have some kind of an emotional connection to the 3rd in order to feel comfortable to move forward.

What does emotional connection mean for the women who seek this? To be clear I'm not judging here! If the tables were turned I don't know that I'd want to have sex with a total stranger and would want to at least get to know them a bit. I'm just wondering what folks mean by emotional connection or whatever term they use.

I want to ask my wife [40] to start a reddit account and share some sexy pics of herself on different subs. She knows about my fetish (wanting to share her irl) and knows that I think she's the sexiest woman alive. She's only ever been with me and I think it might be a turn on for her to see the comments she gets from redditors. It would obviously also turn me on a lot.

How would you go about broaching the subject? I obviously am not into forcing her into doing something she's not comfortable with. I'm more interested in how you've approached this yourself. How you and your partners have gotten over the hump - if there ever was one.

Thank you

I've had a mix of dynamics with couples I've met. Some women communicate with me exclusively. Some husbands are first to make contact with me until they are happy to introduce their wife.

Full disclosure, wife and I have never played in real life, since telling her about my desire of her being a hotwife our conversations and sex life have evolved and I love her for entertaining the idea.

She candidly will tell me it turns her on and never declines the conversation and will sometimes initiate it.

She knows I want her to be with a bigger dick guy and will tell me in detail what her size preference is and type of guy is too. I guess I’m lucky to have her dive into this with me even if it stays a fantasy.

Okay so I know a lot of people enjoy just hearing the hottest stories but I was curious of some of your funniest experience stories if you'd like to share? And after that you can of course write about your hottest one(s).

How do you repeat after the first time?

4 years ago my wife (35) and I (38) went out downtown New Orleans. We had a hotel on bourbon st. We started the night out at Harrahs casino loading up on the free drinks. We proceeded to leave Harrahs and look for food. We were walking down in the buisness district when we found a hidden we thought night club. We walked in and were greeted by a host that explained it was a swingers club. My wife looked over to see my grin.. as she went to leave I just looked at her.. she replied what? You want to go in there?? I kinda grinned again and she was like alright… but I don’t want to hear anything of this doesn’t turn out like you were expecting… as we walked in we were offered a tour of the club by a host. We found out right away it’s BYOB.. they have mixers you just need vodka. My wife looks and says run to cvs and grab a bottle.. I’ll finish the tour. When I came back I found her sitting in the lounge upstairs with a few couples. They had a bottle and were making shots. She was very comfortable.. I sat down with our drinks and we all laughed and joked a few mins. She introduced me to Barry who was single and visiting with the other couple. After passing a bottle of Rum around the couple and Barry get up and walk out of the lounge area we’re in.. they head down a hall and turn and ask us to follow. They dip away in this area with curtains and is basically 1 large King bed. Barry starts making out with the wife of the other couple and me and my wife just watch. The other husband is sitting in the corner. The wife of the other couple then gets up to remove her clothes and is standing next to my wife as she takes her clothes off. I’m not sure what initiates it but the 2 girls start making out. The other wife then goes back to Barry with his 7-8inch hard cock and bends over and allows him to fuck her doggy style. This turns my wife on.. we then start making out while they fuck. I take my wife’s pants off to make sure her pussy is available. You can tell at first she was shy about taking them off but she didn’t stop me. I bend her over the bed and start fucking her while Barry keeps fucking the other wife. Meanwhile the other husband is still sitting in the corner watching all of this. Barry stops fucking the other wife and leaves the area we are all in. The other wife then comes over and starts making out with my wife again at this point while I fuck her. Then the other wife asks my wife if her husband can eat my wife’s pussy.. my wife is not really into that and she proceeds to say I don’t really like that but I can suck your husbands cock if that’s ok. Now I’m in complete shock.. she says sure can I suck your husband as well. She says yes.. I look over and my wife waste no time.. she moves over and starts sucking the other husbands cock and I can see his hand fingering my wife’s pussy while the wife is sucking my dick as I lay there. After about 5-10 mins my wife comes back over and bends over the bed and instructs the other wife to lay infront of her. I start fucking my wife again while she’s now eatting out the other wife. This is something we never have even talked about! I look over behind me where there is another bed and I see Barry again fucking some other wife of another couple. Here’s my opportunity… I tell my wife to get on the bed vs bent over it and get doggy style. As she is doing this I motion Barry over to come have his way. He comes over and puts his much larger cock in my wife.. she turns around and sees me to the side now realizing it’s not my cock fucking her. She puts her face into the bed and continues to get pounded by Barry. I am now sitting in the corner watching and without even touching my cock I cum all over my self just watching. I go over and start making out with my wife but she pushes me away. She clearly wants this without me involved.. I watch for atleast 10 mins Barry just making her moan more than I ever have. Barry stops and moves on .. this guy knows how to move around lol.. and my wife is completely satisfied and ready to leave. We walk back to our hotel and really don’t say much. We had sex in the hotel pretty much every hour through the night take a nap have sex take a nap. It was the hottest night of my life. The next morning the wife was very shy about talking about what or how she felt. She just said he was bigger and yes it felt good. She said it was a fun experience however the conscious conversation side of her said she didn’t feel right doing that again. Our relationship has been fine and we have even had another child since then. But other than watching her cum so hard watching 3 sum and Hotwife porn and definitely when bigger dicks are fucking wife’s she says no when I ask if she wants to go back to the club we went to. So how do I get this to happen again? It seems she is very open to it and when we are out at bars she’s very flirtatious with other guys and women too.. but none of them make an attempt to take it further so of course she doesn’t either. Looking for feedback and advice!

Do any of you have some beginner ideas that a couple can try while at a hotel for the weekend? Any “baby-step” ideas that have worked well for you while staying at a hotel?

My wife is interested but does not want to meet or interact with anyone in person.

Struggling to think of ideas that are more of “baby steps”. Everyone here seems to have gone all the way already.

Was it a good experience?

Hi all, heading to much warmer climes next March (a family trip) and not an adults only vibe sadly.
Have you found fun in this kind of venue? Cruised the apps with luck? Found fun in the pool? Always been a fantasy to have some naughty fun with one or more in the LS too…

Wear my anklet and hope for the best?!

Ladies, tell me I’m not the only one who lives for the day-after glow of a hotwife date. Not just the excitement of the night before, but that delicious, slow-burn exhaustion the next day. The kind where you wake up feeling every bit of the fun you had. A little sore (in the best way), absolutely drained, and totally content just being lazy all day.

And of course, my sweet husband is so on top of things, making sure I don’t lift a finger, bringing me coffee, checking in to see if I need anything. But the best part? The long, slow massages, those gentle hands working out every little ache while I just melt under his touch. There’s something so comforting about how attentive and doting he is, almost like he enjoys this little routine just as much as I do.

I swear, I could stay in this post-date bubble forever wrapped up in the afterglow, soaking in all the love and care, and just enjoying the moment. Do any of you feel the same way? Do your husbands go full-on spoiling mode the next day too? Because honestly… I might just let him keep this up all day.

I love solo dates, and dates where my husband watches me equally. But one of the fun and hot things is, it doesn't always have to end in sex, to be hot. It's a major turn on just going out for drinks, flirting, casual touches. With my husband, and solo...these experiences can be rewarding.

I had a date recently with a guy, that didn't lead to sex (yet). Not because I wasn't into him, but our timing for the evening ended up being a bit off (I had to get up early the next morning, he couldn't meet until later...etc). We had drinks anyway and it was AMAZING, and we do have plans for the future.

But it's so hot coming home, and just sharing the details with my husband while we play. He loves when I talk about how I flirted with the guy, what I complimented him on...what he complimented me on (my hair, I'm a redhead so that's a given. But he couldn't stop starring at my cleavage, my tiny titties were on point that night). He loves when I tell him the guy put his hand on my thigh while we chatted. He gets excited when I talk about what I plan to do to him when we do eventually meet (even if that never happens!). In fact, when we talk to couples new to the LS, we often recommend this drinks only at first type approach, it's a great starter.

What other adventures besides going out for a drink, do you find that are a turn on, that don't end in sex in the HW lifestyle?

Are the husbands 100% confident that their wives will be coming back to them. I don’t mean 99.9% sure. I mean are you all 100% percent confident it will happen each and every time.

XOXO Mrs

I'm <30 and my gf <25. There's a good chance we get into this lifestyle in the near future and I'm excited and a bit nervous.

So for any of the younger ones out there what have been the ups and downs? And do you have any advice for a couple going into it?

Just sharing my journey and things that I go through of being a hotwife.

We’ve been in this lifestyle for a few years now. I’ve always been able to separate physical pleasure from emotional connection, but I may have developed a stronger than usual emotional connection with this regular of mine. We started fucking a few months ago. He’s married, but his wife sort of accepts who he is. Other than me, I know he’s also fucking other people.

Sex has been more than amazing.

He’s probably the most endowed guy I’ve been with. He’s a very attentive and sensual lover. Sex is just amazing. I always end up with multiple orgasms and completely soak the bed. So far, he’s the only guy who can make me squirt from fucking.

I didn’t enjoy any form of anal play before him, but now I ask for it when we play. I like the feeling of surrendering myself to him and trust him that he wouldn’t hurt me. So far he has never disappointed me.

I’m a married woman. There’s nothing more important than being discreet. Unlike with other guys, we would go out for dates such as drinks and dinner. But he would get very affectionate with me in public. Despite the fear of being caught, I think I enjoy the thrill. Sometimes I feed in as well. I like to dress revealing enough to lead him on and purposely go commando and seduce him to feel me between my legs. We have made out at bars & we have fucked in the cinema.

On occasions, he would come and fuck me after he has been with others (including his spouse). He made me blow him so that i can taste the other woman...I felt a mix of degradation, pleasure and jealousy. The degradation comes from being used & tasting another woman on him. The pleasure comes from the taboo & intensity of experience. The jealousy comes from knowing he's been with someone else. It's a potent mix that's both exciting & challenging to navigate.

He knows i play with others..Sometimes i would purposely let him know that i just finished w/ others in hope that he would come over for second round. I dont clean up or put my make up back on. I want him to know how well I've been fucked by other men. It gets him extra jealous and intensity between us skyrockets.

He has his way w/ words & knows how to make me feel special. He knows i feel abit jealous when he's with other women but he'd assure me that he thinks about me all time. It might be lie but his words always make me feel important and special. We talk daily and he's probably only third that knows my personal stuff. We know this is just sexual relationship at the end. There will be nothing more to it. but lust is so intense and it spills outside the bedroom. The experience has been too amazing..somehow there's this strong emotional connection that got developed without noticing..

I told my hubby about everything including my feelings. He said he noticed connection too as he might be there on occasions. I assure him nothing will change but i just need him to know what I'm going through emotionally. He's very understanding & encouraging. He understands catching feelings is always possibility in this lifestyle but he's glad that I’m so honest about it. I asked if he worries about us and told him I'd end this if this made him uncomfortable in any way. He said he has alot faith in our relationship. He encourages me continue explore embrace what journey has offer. I love this man so so much

Since we got back into hotwifing, my wife's libido has increased exponentially. We were no slouches before, having sex 2 or 3 times a week. But since we jumped back in, we've been having sex constantly. At least every day, and some times more than once.

Anyone else experienced a similar change?

We have posted quite a few difficult questions here over the last few weeks. These are the results of my wife and I's discussions, and I just want to say we truly appreciate all of the experienced feedback. This community may be one of the best on reddit! You guys are great! Thanks for bearing with us!

That being said, here is probably our final difficult question - (we shall see 😉) :

Is it possible that, in time, this lifestyle can cause one (or both) partners to be more in love with what the other is GIVING them than with the partner their self? That is to say that one or both of you become more in love with the lifestyle itself than your partner, because without a husband/wife there is no "Hotwife Lifestyle".. and as a result it may SEEM like you're still in love with each other for who you are, but in reality your focus has shifted instead to WHAT you are? (A sort of objectification of you being seen more as your role/title than WHO you are/were as an individual when you were first married - this goes for the husband or the wife).

Our fear is how this feels like it could become an all consuming thing for us (both separately in our heads, and together as a couple).

I get that this is probably yet another million dollar question, and it's always different strokes for different folks, but you guys have so much great insight. We're excited to see how you help us take this one down!

Much love! 😘

Looking for movies and shows that have at least some hotwife, stag/vixen, cuc, swinging, or anything adjacent to sharing your partner in the show or movie. I only include some of the off the wall ideas because there's so little media touching on this out there, but we'd really enjoy being able to watch something together like that

First the question. Then the context.

Before you atarted as a hotwife, was the feeling that you are not attractive enough a reason you resisted?

Did any of you (or your hotwives) started only after “getting in shape,” or having a specific aesthetic procedure done?

Context.

I’m a wannabe husband of a beautiful sexy wife, who I’m hoping will continue to warm up (even more) and eventually become a hotwife.

Where we are at the moment. We started the fantasy maybe four years ago as bedroom talk. We had some great progress in 2024 before it cooled down because I didn’t want to be pressing too hard.

At this moment I let her be the one to initiate the fantasy in the bedroom. And she does so 99% of the time. I even sense a bit of an annoyance from her that I don’t bring it up anymore. And I sort of like that.

Why am I asking this?

In a couple of weeks she will have her “mommy makeover,” including breast augmentation (honestly I don’t think she needs it, and I even fought against it but she insists she needs it first her self and self esteem.)

Since the day I got on board with the idea of her surgery, and her surgeon set the date for the operation she’s been on cloud nine.

She can’t stop thinking about how she will dress up, what bathing suites she’s going to wear on vacation and even said “we’ll see how you’re going to deal with the attention I’m going to get…”

Is it possible that this could open her up and make her feel even more comfortable to the idea?

Wife ( 35f) and I ( 35m) have been role-playing what we call " wife sharing" for the past couple years . We took a little hiatus from it awhile back because I went a little overboard with it . During the break I focused more on indulging her kinks and its been a fantastic experience . She actually brought up the idea of role playing sharing again about 6 months ago and its been great . We try to keep it at maybe 1 or twice a month if that so the novelty doesn't wear off .

Unprompted , she's been initiating discussions on how we could try it for real . We've discussed boundaries before, which have evolved over time .

What I'm curious about are Q/A subjects we should / could discuss in regards to various scenarios or possible emotions etc.

Mostly looking for scenarios / emotions/ considerations that might get overlooked or are easy to forget about with horny brain.

Do you think the wife’s personality type (Outgoing vs. shy/reserved) made it easier to transition into the lifestyle?

For the shy/reserved type, what helped make the transition easier?

Consider the scenario of the wife going to a bar alone for the first time to see if she gets attention. Outgoing women may have no problem with this, knowing they can handle the conversation. Shy women feel uncomfortable sitting alone at first, taking more time to warm up.

Usually on this sub, it’s most common for the husband to initiate the conversation to the wife to get into the LS. How many ladies have initiated it to your husbands? Did your husband think at first that it was a ruse to cover up your cheating? At what point in the conversation did it take to bring him to the same point of view as yours?

And how many have been successful? Even as far as a creampie one

Some people I met into only look at it a regular 3some adding a extra partner. And most consider it hotwife play to be mostly watching then joining after. Just wondering on opinions.

We have historically been very attracted to each other but the spark has died off with kids. we still do have sex regularly. He wants to try something new. I have never had any other men inside of me and he feels like it’s only a matter of time before I seek out someone else to enter me. Mainly because I haven’t been as sexual as I once was since kids. he thinks my libido and sex drive will start to peak in 5-10 years. he doesn’t want to wait that long to explore with me. He really loves me a lot and doesn’t want anyone else. I don’t want anyone else the way I want him. This is him wanting me to explore for myself

The sounds of her before I walk through the doorway and see them.

The coy smile she gives me while having fun.

Watching her eyes roll back as she forgets I’m even in the room.

Knowing she’s mine but for the moment she’s his.

And loving every moment of it.

Hey there and thank you to anyone who reads this!

Had a question in regards to those who enjoy online chatting and flirting fun rather than in person. Online is what I always enjoy with couples and what I always look for but one thing I've always wondered - overall, is it preferred that the chat is a 3 way chat between the single and both members of the couple or is it preferred to just be a one on one with the wife? What do you guys prefer and why? What is most enjoyable to you?

Thank you so much again!

Let me explain first, because I may not be asking what you're thinking:

Before we open ourselves up to an ENM lifestyle, cheating is a much bigger undertaking because it is defined by rules being broken completely outside of our relationship. This could be something like kissing another person.

Now, in the lifestyle, cheating is defined by rules being broken within the relationship as well as outside of the relationship. This might be something as simple as kissing when kissing was not agreed upon, as well as kissing another person without the partner's knowledge just as before.

Is this amplifying the conditions of "cheating"? But on the other hand, does it even feel as bad as "cheating" if, say, your spouse is only breaking one of the agreed upon rules during a meetup (like kissing, from the example above)?

Perhaps to make what I'm saying a bit more clear: What happens when one partner wants to change the rules that were agreed upon, but the other does not? Doesn't this make both the temptation and possibility to "cheat" multiply when you consider the 'ease of access' in breaking such rules, compared to that of conventional monogamy?

So my husband and I have been together 10 years. We have been swingers for 7 years and I’ve been a hotwife specifically now for 1 year (we still swing but mostly I’m shared with other guys now).

We always had a strong relationship and people always ask us how our communication is so good and how we are a hot power couple with no drama. Truth is we had our battles and we had drama but always worked through it. There is no jealousy in us having sex with other people because what they don’t understand is we have sex with others for us, not them. My husband loves to see me shared by guys and to join half the time or just fuck me harder than ever after. And I love making him turned on. We don’t do the hall pass personally (and if you do that’s fine) because we want to go through these experiences together not separate. So my advice for people is don’t be shy to tell your fantasies to your partners and talk about what your goals are before you head out to meet a 3rd or a couple. My husband will say “I think it be hot if you met another single guy at the lifestyle club and he tried DP with me” and I will try to satisfy what he wants to make him happy. And to make me happy I get to pick the guy I think is attractive and who is respectful. Or sometimes I tell him I think it be hot if we have sex with another couple on a beach and then he will go out of his way to make it happen and we pick a couple together. After every time we hookup with someone we debrief it and check in with each other to make sure it was enjoyable and what was hot about it.

In summary I think communication is key and just to be honest of what you both want. You should both be trying to make your partner happy, not making your partner do what you want leaving them unhappy. If you do it right there is rarely any drama or jealousy.

Bit of backstory to us: We're both in our 30 years, Aussies, been married for 5+ years and together for a few more. We're both attractive even after 2 kids lol My wife has known about my mfm fantasy for a few years now but for a number of reasons like living in a small town, her nervesnous and having kids, we havnt had a chance to really act on it. We've role played and she has danced and flirted with guys when we get the chance to go out in the big city kid free but that was it.. until recently...

A few years ago we went on a holiday to a totally different state with a heap of other friends, completely kid free! My wife had mentioned that if we were ever going to try it, this holiday would be our chance. She was still a bit shy and very nervous (as was i)..

I decided I would jump on some dating sites and see if I could find a suitable partner. Obviously I was flooded with messages and even sorted through them for a few potentials.

The first night we were on holidays we got stuck into the cocktails by the pool and ended up going out to a nightclub with our friends.. we were both pretty tipsy and were enjoying dancing and drinking. My wife during the night would sneak away and dance a little with a few guys which totally turned me on, especially because our friends were in the same club.

It got to about 1am and everyone decided to leave so we walked out and started heading back to the hotel when my wife and I dropped back and she started telling me she had met a guy and danced and flirted with him quite a bit.. I didn't actually notice this in the club but it got me really excited. By this time our friends had gotten way ahead of us and we had lost them. She told me she had his number and that we should call him and go to his house! I was completely shocked, didn't know if I was dreaming!

5 minutes later she had called him and he was picking us up in his car. I was just about shaking.. I got in the back seat and her in the front.. we exchanged a few nervous hellos and introduced me. He was super friendly and really calmed my nerves by being very normal - good pick from my wife!

We got back to his house and chatted some more, standing a bit awkwardly at the kitchen bench.. my wife looked at me as if to day, are you sure? And I was like yep.. then she walked over to him and they started kissing.. passionately. I was rock hard instantly. We had never really talked about rules or anything but I'd assumed she wouldn't want kissing to be involved but they were really going for it right in front of me. His hands started exploring my wife's body and ass over her dress as they kept kissing while I watched. I decided to move over and pull her summer dress off downwards, she giggled as I removed it.. she wasn't wearing a bra or panties so now she's standing nude in this guys kitchen. I can see he loves what he sees and she suggests going to the bedroom.

From there she lays on her back on the bed and spreads her legs. He undressed down to his boxers.. I can see his cock bulging and it looks alot bigger than mine! He gets between her legs and starts eating her pussy. I stand next to the bed and watch as my wife has her first intense orgasm for the night.

He stands up and grabs a condom, asks us if we're both sure about this (this guy was super chill and an amazing first time for us) we both say yes and he slowly enters her.. her face and sounds are amazing.. his cock is atleast 2 inches bigger than mine and thicker and curved upwards like a banana.. it was obviously hitting the right spots..I moved in and kissed her as he fucked her and she came loudly again not long after.

He asked her how she likes to be fucked usually and she almost yelled "doggy sttle"

She rolled over and he entered her from behind.. she was moaning and grunting in pleasure this was so bloody hot to watch. He grabbed her hair and wrapped it around his hand as he fucked her harder and harder until they both came at the same time.. orgasm number 3..

They rolled onto the bed and we all chatted for a little bit about how amazing that was, how much we enjoyed it and how were so surprised a random guy from a nightclub could offer us probably the best first time experience we could of hoped for..