Hi! So I am mixed, I am half Hispanic and half white but I grew up in a white household and white outside family. Generally, I identify myself as white because I have no connection to the culture and it is usually assumed I’m 100% white. I do want to connect with that side of me but I’m not sure what I am allowed to do. I was thinking of doing the 12 grapes under the table as that seems to be a tradition is Spain and Latin America but I’m not really sure how to get involved when everyone in my family is white. What boundaries are there? And suggestions on traditions or how to research? Genuinely lost.

I’m really struggling with a decision right now. I’m a 44yo widow, and I moved in with my mom 65f, post divorce bc she can’t afford her home on just her SSI. Part of me feels obligated to be here and support her—deep down, I know it’s what my grandma would have wanted, too.

But my mom has major depression and hoarding tendencies. She rarely leaves her room, doesn’t clean, and spends most of her days in bed or watching TV. I’ve tried to encourage her to make small changes or get help, but she’s firm that she won’t change—she tells me that “this is just the way she’s always been.” And honestly, I’m starting to believe her. She doesn’t want to change.

Living here is now taking a toll on my own mental health, and it’s affecting my 20yo who lives in the home. Even my 19yo, who’s away at college, hates this situation because she feels like she no longer has a true “home” to come back to.

I’ve made the hard decision to move out for my well-being. But the guilt is intense. Culturally, I feel like I should stay and be there for her. At the same time, I’m realizing that staying is financially and emotionally draining. I know she’ll struggle if I leave, but she’s supposed to move into a small apartment my uncle is preparing at his place. Still, the guilt of “abandoning” her feels overwhelming.

Has anyone else here had to choose between family duty and their own well-being? How did you come to terms with such a choice, and how did you deal with the guilt? Any advice or insights would mean a lot to me. Thank you.

Is it because Latinos speak Spanish? Last time I checked Spanish is a European language? I remember reading somewhere that the Spanish even felt othered in Europe due to their language and culture. Why are anglo Saxon's so threatened? In Florida especially Miami you can't tell who is White American or Hispanic because often times they both present as white I have seen blonde Germanic looking Latinos constantly in South fl as well as black and indigenous ones. I ask the question again why are White Americans threatened by us? me being half Hispanic and half black American

I’ve (English only speaking 39/m) recently started dating a Cuban woman (36 bilingual) and I’m curious what terms of endearment are sexy/romantic for a white American guy who knows no Spanish to use. My go-to has been “darling” (I’m southern) and babe/baby.

Would it be good for me to use Spanish words or would that be silly because I would totally mess that up? She started calling me “Papi” and I didn’t think I would like it but it kinda drives me wild (cliche I know). I just want to try something out to see if I can get same reaction from her.

Who tryna make some bread ik y’all be ready to make some bread come fym

I’m at a complete loss.. wanting to give up name searching for our boy bc we keep seeing the same old boring names. I might have post here before idk but in need of serious help. Am open to options just don’t want any A names! Maybe sticking to 4 or 5 letter names. Plz help?? I’m exhausted lol.

Asking as a curious white Hispanic myself. Do you resent being perceived as white, and have to insist that you are Hispanic, or do resent being seen as not white, and insist that you are white? Is there a third possibility? I have seen a Spaniard who was refused the white identity even though they prefer it, although I am the opposite; I am perceived as white yet have to insist that I am better described as Hispanic. I understand that there is a different between race and ethnicity, but if you think about it race and is never a simple description of your melanin content or geographic-ancestral origin. It's a description of your culture, or is supposed to be.

Hi everyone! I’m a counseling student and am in a class called multicultural counseling. I have an immersion project where I am to go to certain events/talk to people who are apart of a minority group and document my experience. We’re supposed to have a dialogue with others and how they are treated/how they view counseling/ what their history and beliefs are etc. and any other information we can gleam from research. I want to do my project right and would be thrilled to talk to someone about their culture and their experiences with micro aggressions/racism and what their life looks like for them as someone of a minority. If anyone is interested please let me know in the comments or DM me! Thank you so so much!

I was talking to a friend today and they mentioned that their family (they're Hispanic) never uses the dishwasher. Is it because dishwashers are difficult to use? Dishwashers are so much faster and easier than handwashing so I just don't get it.

If you're a Hispanic parent with kids who are "Americanized" (or are an "Americanized" Hispanic person), do your kids kiss their elders hello and good bye? Do your kids resist the practice?

If your kids or you don't do it, what generation US citizen are you or your kids?

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This isn't a question of hate, but rather curiosity. I live in a suburb with a lot of rentals, so lots of turnover, different people of all different races coming in all the time. I also go for long walks at night into surrounding neighborhoods, so it's a pretty wide sample: Whenever someone is blasting music, it's disproportionately Hispanic.

Black people will blast it in their cars driving by at 2am, sure, but at a house, even if it's just them and not a party, it's at full volume for the neighborhood to hear. Just curious why that is? Is it a cultural thing? Do Hispanic people have worse hearing? Do they just have less consideration? Is it just in my locality and it's not a thing elsewhere? Any insight is appreciated!

My grandma immigrated from Mexico and married my grandpa in the US. He’s white. My dad married my mom who’s white. And none of my aunts have had a quinceañera. I’d be the first to have one ever since my grandma moved from Mexico. I don’t know any Spanish. Only one of my aunts does. I don’t understand Spanish and I’ve tried to learn. But I’ve always been busy at home so school was rlly the only place, and then it felt more like homework. Because it was. I was only learning in class.

I rlly want a quince but I feel like I’d be disrespecting ppl who are more Hispanic than me. I’m only 25% and constantly looking at my dad who’s brown and I’m extremely pale has always made me feel disconnected from my heritage. Even if I can call it that. My aunts rlly want me to do a quince but idk. I feel rlly guilty about it. I just need a second opinion. And sorry if my grammar doesn’t sound great over text. I’m wearing long nails that I got for Homecoming.

Ever since Biden became president, my life as a Hispanic male in America has been in danger. I have never felt so unsafe in my life. I want to go vote but I am terrified of my safety at the polls. Is it safe? Are there crazy people out there making threats to voters?

Why do you Hispanic people feel so entitled to saying the n word?. I genuinely want to know..Not all of you specifically, but I’ve never met a Hispanic person who hasn’t said the n word before. You guys say the n word left and right and use Ebonics all the time and take everything from black culture, but are always racist to black people?. I seriously don’t understand it. Most of you go back three generations to find your great grandfather to show you have some black in you which is embarrassing…

Some of you use the excuse that you were slaves too, but I don’t remember the people enslaving the Latino and Hispanic community refer to them as the n word. Can someone give me a good argument on why Hispanics and Latinos should be able to say the n word?.

(Btw, I’m not saying the entire community does this, but the majority does.)

EDIT: And would I be wrong if I said I don’t really like involving myself with the Hispanic community, and I tend to reject friendships with Hispanic people unless they’re half black?. Personally it’s trust issues, if I call out my Hispanic friends on being racist I get called “boring” or “soft”.

So I’m fairly young and about to be an adult in a First Generation Mexican household, yet I haven’t gotten permission to date. I recently have been talking to a boy in my grade and we seem to hit it off really well and I’m beginning to develop feelings for him, and he makes it obvious that he’s into me as well. We share similar values, beliefs, and he’s very patient with me which I really admire of him. The only problem is that I haven’t gotten permission to date from my parents. My parents aren’t super strict, yet I do still have to ask for permission to go out and had to get permission to dance with boys when I was younger. I believe I’m a good enough daughter; I take care of the house, make dinner, don’t drink, isn’t out and about on the weekends, and really good in school. I’ve always told my parents that college is a big dream for me and being in my senior year, grades and not getting distracted is always on my mind and my parent’s as well. And since I’ve been talking to my “hopefully future man”, I’ve noticed he’s really understanding of my dreams and aspirations and is supportive of me in what I want to do. So I’m not really worried of him holding me back like my parents think a man will. I think my parents have an idea of me talking to someone because I’m on my phone more often and they’ve caught me on a call with him. They also make remarks of me focusing on school and that being my priority so that I don’t get distracted and let my grades slip or change my dreams for a man, but my grades haven’t slipped since we started talking and I’m still #1 in my grade. I guess I just need advice on what to do because I’m scared of getting into a relationship behind my parents’ back. I also have an older sibling who’s never dated so the pressure is kind of on if I become the first one to date.

i have a really hispanic last name and on airports, any place where they need your identification or anything like that i always get discriminated, picked out or rejected after they see my name. does anyone else experience this?

Hello Latin friends living in the USA!

I would like to know which fruits or fruit combinations you associate with the Amazon, with the Amazon rainforest or which fruit flavors you associate with the Amazon rainforest!!!

Please comment & let your opinions! This is for a university assignment :D

Thank you!!!

Being friends with white Hispanics is exhausting the casual racist remarks is very off putting it's like I am done being friends with them they give me bad vibes racism toppled with their machismo fake hard culture is a bad recipe for a genuine friend.

If this isn't allowed, I understand.

But I need help on how to deal with ( 33M)my GF(34F) that likes to use "My Culture." Alot. She's from Peru and moved here for her older brother while she waits for her citizenship.

Shes a mom to a 2 year old that iv grown to love like my own and protective over over the past 16 months we been together.

She says that her whole personality has changed since becoming a mom license no longer desires friends, going to concerts and stuff like she use to that she can't take her daughter to. Something that's understandable to me.

But she's become this obsessed mom, paranoid about who to watch her daughter. Not even her brother that lives here. Only trust advice from HER female family members but refuses to listen to my female family members who are also mothers. Simply because she doesn't like our culture. Paranoid about what she eats and will only let her eat things she cooks personally, doesn't want friends because she only wants to raise her daughter. To the point of I who's helping her raise her daughter feel more like a room mate.

Well when she gets upset about something which doesn't take much like fir example not doing the dishes EXACTLY when she wants. She goes into deep cleaning and than full on stonewalling for days at a time.

I know talking to her about my opinions and feelings is a complete waste of time. To the point I feel like I have to get over them but have to understand how she feels and her opinions.

Her daughter is in her terrible 2s and will drive her mother up the wall sometimes pushing her to the point of spanking her outbof anger, shoving her away and yelling. I put a stop to that real fast thou.

Is feeling neglected, like you're only use is to provide comfort and entertainment all while being held to high expectations and having to fully accept her what it's like dating a latina mother?

so context: my mom is hispanic, and my stepdad is white. my mom used to celebrate traditions (and i'd like to) but my stepdad doesn't allow it anymore. i want to make an ofrenda without them knowing, and putting it somewhere in my room. can someone help me understand how to? My mom never taught me and all of our family lives so far away. i can't talk to them either, as we aren't allowed to speak spanish anymore and i've forgotten it over the years. please help me

Do you feel more connected to your latinidad (to those who were born/raised in the US, or other countries besides Latinoamérica)?

I have a non-Spanish name from Argentina. I feel like I constantly have to prove my argentinidad/latinidad/hispanidad to both Hispanics and gringos. If they don’t comment on the complexion of my skin being fair, they question why my name isn’t Spanish.

To avoid it, I gave my son a full Spanish name. Since he’s 14 and can answer honestly, I asked him if he even likes his name. He said yes and he feels “more Latino.” (Not more as in better, but connected to his roots)