In this thread, please share all that you've been struggling with. Find support and be witnessed in your struggless. You are encouraged to share the good, the bad and the ugly! Nothing is off limits as long as it's contained within our rules.

In this thread, please share all that you've been struggling with. Find support and be witnessed in your struggless. You are encouraged to share the good, the bad and the ugly! Nothing is off limits as long as it's contained within our rules.

Brought up by dismissive avoidant and emotional unavailable Mother.

Childhood core would is avoidant.

Went through a long term relationship with ex partner who has borderline. Came out of the relationship as Fearful Avoidant.

Two years therapy and 8 years self development.

Dated an AP, dated two DA.

The last one lasted 7 months, emotional unavailable like my Mother. I ended it.

I start to realise I no longer can tolerate insecurely attachers’ behaviours as much as I used to.

I think I am securely attached now :)

Hh

In this thread, please share all that you've been struggling with. Find support and be witnessed in your struggless. You are encouraged to share the good, the bad and the ugly! Nothing is off limits as long as it's contained within our rules.

Please delete if not allowed- and I am so sorry if it’s not.

I would like to send a message to my avoidant ex who still loves me, and I love him. We wanted to work on getting back together, but came across a rough patch. We are just different countries for another week, and he was deactivated the whole time he was away but we only just spoke today, it was a little emotional, followed by me initiating that we chat for 10 mins about happy/neutral things, and the topic of taking a trip together came up, his first thought was fear based and negative, like he had before his group tour that he is in now, he fought those worries away for himself for his trip and said he will try to fight those thoughts of for our trip. The conversation ended a little abruptly as he has to go somewhere before it closed and we both said I love you. Now I really want to send to this message with a little photo of us from our one trip away while we were together. I just want to know, as an avoidant (I think he is DA with some FA) who is just starting to reactivate after 1.5 weeks of deactivation, would you like a message like this or is this too much and will make you run for the hills?

Here goes …

We aren’t just the hard times. Remember the trip to Taupo/Rotorua? That took a little while to get going, you were hesitant, I was worried but it turned out to be one of our happiest times, relaxed and in the moment. Even the day we got back home from the trip, we were so in tune and playful. It reminds me of what we have is worth holding onto. And I think if we took another trip, like to Indonesia or somewhere else, it could be even better, especially now that we’re learning to meet each other halfway and have both already travelled solo.

I understand when you are deactivated, it’s easy to focus on the difficult parts and just decide to ignore the whole relationship. I do that too sometimes with my own worries, in my own ways. But when we both take small steps and meet each other halfway, we find our rhythm together.

You told me you had faith in me, and I have faith in you. That kind of trust doesn’t come around often, and I don’t want to let fear decide what happens next. Relationships are a bit of a work in progress, no matter who we’re with, and I want to keep working on it with you. Our foundation isn’t rocky, we just got scared along the way, and reacted based on fears from what we have both been through before meeting each other.

In Bruce’s words “If as we’re walking, a hand should slip free, I’ll wait for you. And should I fall behind, wait for me.”

To preface, yes, my "ex" (who I honestly just consider as someone I care about bc the relationship aspect was iffy anyway), who we will call "James," does show some really basic textbook DA and sometimes FA tendencies.

I don't think he is self-aware but I'm not sold on the idea he is totally avoidant or dismissive because he did own up to some of his poor communications and assumptions about me. So, I don't think he is totally shut off to help. But, I'm not sure if I can help him. In the end, because these issues were never resolved, he totally shut down and gave up on communication and gave into assumptions - particularly about me. Saying I was lonely and lustful when in reality, I was really depressed but genuinely loved him. And I was so depressed I couldn't stand up for myself.

I am racking my brain like mad on what is happening internally. Because he was receptive at a point but now he's not? And I'm not sure if that's in part because I couldn't keep up. So like...if I had said something more consistently, would I be able to pull him out of his unhealthy thought-process?

We never fought during the relationship. But the end caught me so off guard I panicked, and went into full blown "people pleasing" mode. I did not beg. I wasn't hostile. But I never spoke up about how he made me feel - I just hyper focused on how I made him feel. So, that probably only enabled this idea he had of me, that I was pitiful and lonely and whatever else. I was semi aware of what was happening but it felt like I was playing with fire and one wrong move would burn us both, so I was just...silent, instead of saying how I felt. Ironically.

We did have a beautiful bond outside of the horrible attachment issues. He is such a sweet person and, while I did not deserve the way I was treated in the end, I know he probably didn't know what else to do. Which, isn't an excuse, but. Anyway. It took me this long to realize how much he was enabled and how little I actually did wrong.

And by calling me this and that, it totally devalued all of the genuine love I gave him. In hindsight, he kinda is this sad character. I can see himself thinking on the reg "life's a bitch and then you die." It sucks because, if only I knew now back then, I might've been able to take him out of that headspace.

The exact timeline is we BU, got him to talk to me for a bit as "friends" afterwords which was good, then he started dating someone, contact slowed, still agreed to meet for one last time, and during this meeting, this is when I realized he switched from just "idk how to do relationships" to "you (me) are the problem." He went from nice to ice fucking cold, basically. I didn't know what to say so I just took the piss, wished him well, and left.

It's been...5 months?

And now I feel very, very different about this whole thing. And, very worried for him. It sucks dick to think, again, if I only knew how much good it would've served to have spoken up AT ALL about his behavior for him and myself. We might not be dating but we'd definitely be friends. Part of me is like...fuck, if he wasn't dating someone, I'd just reach out and we'd talk it through. But because he is dating someone + has this nasty idea of me, I feel like, id I reach out it's just gonna come off wrong. I don't even want to be friends, per se. Our relationship meant so much to the both of us, I know. We've healed a lot of our traumas together and it just feels like a huge disservice not to say anything - for him to revert back to this negative thinking. And I feel like the longer I wait, the worse it will be? But, too soon, and it can be too triggering for him...I'm at a loss.

In this thread, please share all that you've been struggling with. Find support and be witnessed in your struggless. You are encouraged to share the good, the bad and the ugly! Nothing is off limits as long as it's contained within our rules.

Hello, I am in a new relationship and am noticing some feelings and unfortunately behaviours I do not like and am quite embarrassed by, I do have diagnosed anxiety disorders so I was thinking I may have an anxious attachment style so I took this online test, here are my results.

I really would like to work on this. I am honestly pretty upset I may have let my attachment style potentially hurt a relationship because I strangely became almost obsessive and insecure. I’m not even sure where to start and would appreciate any advice. I do have a therapy appointment this weekend and intend to bring it up as well but for the time being I’d really appreciate any advice.

Hey there, long time AA, first time poster. I usually don't ask for advice on the internet but I'm out of therapy until the new year and feel like I'm at a low. I've recently realized how AA I am and have tried being more open with things that trigger it. The usual things like, "when you don't ever reply to my messages until I bring them up in person, it makes me feel like you don't want to talk to me." Having being told, "Well maybe you should only talk to me in person."

Hearing this has really put me into a tailspin. Now I'm constantly unable to think of anything but self-victimizing thoughts and finding reasoning for them to be true. At some point I feel like I bottomed out and switch flipped where I shouldn't care about this person, but it seems like that was only temporary.

I just want to have my mind at rest

26M. I've only been in 3 serious relationships. I constantly flip back and forth between "I'm not happy about *this* part of our relationship" to "but that might just be me, and I shouldn't complain about that" (in my head, not out loud).

I honestly have no idea what to think anymore. I know I'm heavily avoidant and have commitment issues, but I also often think there's no way a good relationship feels this "unnatural" - no one's perfect and there's always work to do in a relationship, but how much?

I don't know how better to describe the situation than with examples of some of this back and forth, so here goes:

• "I'm not a physical-touch person, I wish F would kiss/hug/etc me less" vs "F is a physical-touch person and all I have to do is just be there to receive it, so why can't I just keep it to myself?"
• I find it attractive when one shows self-reliance and shows how they can problem solve, likely teaching me something in the process (e.g. new diet for busy work days, establishing meditation routine to relieve stress). F is attracted by kindness/caregivers and wants me to "solve her problems" as an act of love. So the debate here is where on the spectrum I'm happiest with vs where on the spectrum I could reasonably ask for.
• I value diversity/curiousity, be it music, culinary, sports, books, etc., I will give anything a try. F prefers to stick to the tried and true, and has what's in my opinion a narrow set of preferences. "She's holding me back from exploring" vs "She's allowed to have preferences"

I (29 F) have recently reconnected with my FA/DA ex (29 M) after a few years. He isn't ready for a relationship as he just left one recently, but we have been talking a few times a week usually and would meet up on weekends casually. Last week, I went to a party with him and stayed over his place, but nothing physical happened between us since he was not ready and I respected his boundaries. However, he has not spoken to me since. I myself have an anxious attachment style and this has been eating me alive. Usually, he would have reached out by now, but it's been 8 days since. I guess we started getting closer and spent so much time together for 24 hours that he felt the need to run. My friends tell me not to reach out first, but I am not sure what to do.

Any help would be appreciated as this is causing me to have nightmares and now physical symptoms of anxiety.

I have this problem that I've become increasingly aware of. When I meet someone whom I really like (whether platonically or romantically) and they politely withhold information about themselves in conversation I feel a sinking feeling of disappointment. This happens both online and in person, but is especially apparent in my online friendships where people are less likely to share information. I will speak to someone for a long time and they subtly brush me off when I ask them about their major (for example) and I'll just feel extremely sad, especially if we were having a deep conversation prior to that. I keep it to myself though because it would be inappropriate to insist on knowing what they don't want to know. People in person do this too but less obviously, they'll usually just be vague about things but I always notice.

I think part of why it makes me so depressed is because it makes me aware that I am not close to the person as much as I thought I was. It also bothers me because I would never share the information they tell me and it hurts knowing that they would doubt that, or worse, prefer that I specifically don't know.

I'm really good at acting like I don't feel this way, and I find it quite shameful to feel like this. But regardless of how much I hide it, I still feel like it regardless. It's easy to change behavior, hard to change how I feel.

In this thread, please share all that you've been struggling with. Find support and be witnessed in your struggless. You are encouraged to share the good, the bad and the ugly! Nothing is off limits as long as it's contained within our rules.

I’m 25m, AP (disorganized I think) 3 months out from a breakup with a girl 21f DA whom I loved (and whom I thought loved me). I’m really struggling to find purpose.

I’m in college now. I have two jobs. I have a band. I’m even talking to this girl that’s cute but I’m getting turned off from her because of the clingyness and her low sense of care about my well being. She’s also sending mixed signals and I hate playing games when it comes to dating. The clingyness though is almost like another kick in the gut because now I’m seeing how my ex viewed me.

Everyone said to do all this bullshit. “Fill your schedule up, go to the gym, have a purpose, try new stuff, go to therapy.” Motherfucker I did ALL of that and I STILL feel empty without the love I had with her in my life. I cannot for the life of me feel whole without love in my life.

I wish I could cut this part of me out. I feel weak. I feel like a failure of a man and an adult. I try to be happy in social settings but all of my friends have kids and it just reminds me of what I could’ve had if we just worked out. Times ticking, I’m getting older and nothing is working or changing.

Hello,

Sorry for the long text; if its too long you can just read the last paragraph :)

i feel overwhelmed about my feeling and cant really unterstand my behaviour, i think i lost myself in this weird „relationship“. Please help me to understand. Do you know these patterns?

I‘ve (F30; FA) matched with a man (M42;DA?) on a dating app 1,5 years ago. From the beginning it was different than with other men. There was such a good vibe. Normally i answer just every few days but with him there was no pressure. A few months in I texted a bit less and he too but there always was this connection. But i noticed he always was very flirty (but a bit awkward) and we never had deep talk, he only could talk flirty and sexual. After a few months he wanted too facetime but i don’t like facetime. He asked many times but i only agreed 6 months later. Then he asked for a date where he invited me for a trip and paid everything.

The trip was really weird. He was very distant and cold. We never hold hands or kissed in public, just in the hotel. There was always a distance (physically and emotionally). One time i asked for a bit attention (he was quote surprised). Then he tried to hold my hand but it was really awkward (he held my Hand for 30 minute straight and then suddenly pulled it away and he pretended he would be asleep (like deactivation)). On the way back to the Airport he couldnt even look at me..

After that i felt so bad. I thought i was too ugly, he was ashamed, i tried to change my appearance. We still texted but i was very distant, only answered every 2-4 days, he did too then. I had no confidence at all and was always afraid that he would ghost me. But i refused facetime and sexting and all that. Then he hadnt texted back 10 days and i was in panic. When i texted him he answered normally (as if he was happy). Just weeks later we facetimed again and were flirty. I was a bit happier because i thought he would find me attractive.

But i always stalk his Social Media (even though its private but i had seen a few accounts he follows; this was actually a few weeks after the trip). The Accounts are mainly young and pretty women from different countries and a few pages with Girls in Bikinis (literally girls/teenagers). I felt grossed out but i needed his attention and validation so continued texting. My heart ached when i saw he followed new Accounts or liked pictures. I knew from the beginning a relationship would Not work out (i had Never had one). But i felt he liked everyone more than me. He follows many Accounts of women but not me. We always talk on WhatsApp (as if i was a secret and embarrassing).

1,5 weeks ago we facetimed, after that we havent talked (last time he hasnt texted, i texted 6 days later but he texted back immediately). He has just texted back a Week later and sent a Photo of a City and asked me where he is. Before he answered i was really afraid but somehow when i saw he liked a photo i felt neutral, After that i felt relieved and i wasnt thinking 24/7 about him anymore. I thought it was a deactivation. When he texted on sunday i felt nothing really, just a bit confused. I asked myself if i should just ghost him or answer normally. Because we never talked about emotions, he would be so overwhelmed and i cant talk about emotions, i am so afraid of rejection. But now i just have seen that he was following a new girl from another country (i don’t know if they matched or something Like that) but he liked many pictures of her. And i am emotionally again, i feel worthless and thinks he doesnt care for me at all. He isnt wondering why i don’t answer in 3 days, i don’t know if they are texting. I am quite sure they hadnt met but yes i feel left out.

I think he is a DA (i am FA). So i am bit relieved to know that he will not have a long relationship (i don’t know if he had one yet, the sex was really awkward like mechanically or inexperienced and distant). I think no healthy woman would deal with his behaviour and he cant deep talk. I think he doesnt Even go on Dates because he is insecure but maybe had online things (he mentioned once he had snapchat). But i think this what we had was somehow special, it was quite intense and was for 1,5 years). Healthy people would think thats so weird why would you even do that and i don’t know this either (some kind of limerence i think).

What should i do now? Ghost him? Talk to him? Continue but more like a Virtual friendship (what it actually is..)?

As if I didn’t have am enough anxiety already my Facebook has been constantly full of relationship stuff the last few months and yes I know when you interact with it that tells Facebook you like it. I don’t, not anymore but once the algorithm has changed it’s so hard to get it to go back.

It’s just constant stuff about attachment theory (which is fine, find that’s stuff helpful) but then also reels about narcissists in relationship, how they act etc. All the inspiration quote stuff like “if they wanted to they would” or “you deserve better than this treatment” then not to mention the stuff on people having affairs etc.

It just messages with my head, it puts false narratives about my own relationship in there and makes me over think everything even more. Has any one else been triggered by content like this online? Should I just stay off Facebook? (I do use it for other stuff which is the issue) I just want it to stop messing with my mind, every time I see one of these videos I’m like “what if that’s what’s happening” it ruins any actual opinion I have on what’s happening in my relationship and puts doubt in my mind.

Needing some advice on how to not freak out when my DA partner retreats into themselves, and gets more reserved and quiet, seemingly without cause and out of nowhere. My mind immediately starts to analyze everything I could have possibly done to cause this and I’ve asked him twice now (two days consecutively) if he’s okay because he’s being quieter. Which is probably so annoying. I don’t want to do this anymore and I want him to not feel like he has to ‘perform’ in our relationship for me to feel comfortable and happy. I don’t want him to feel like he has to appease me by keeping up with me emotionally. He’s human and he’s going to have off days, just like me. I just always end up worrying that he’s on his way out. Has anyone here found any healthy ways to cope with the low periods, or the periods when a DA pulls into themselves and seemingly away from you? (For context, I’m FA, leaning anxious in my relationship with said partner…)

I feel like I'm in a catch-22. My attachment is so messed up I can't form a healthy relationship, yet I can't heal it because I have no positive relationship experience to dispute my belief that everyone besides my parents (who I don't have the best relationship/history with, hence attachment style. When I was a child they were wonderful and loving 95% of the time and angry, screaming and scary the other 5%. They are also helicopter parents) will leave me or hurt me after a while. How do I heal my anxious attachment while alone? I have issues in my life like being unable to drive but I can't fix those issues with no support system besides my family, who do not want me to drive, yet I cannot develop a support system without being able to drive. I live in the suburban US where you absolutely must drive to live a normal life. I struggle to even make friends because when people find out they see me as lesser. So I really have no one in my life to have a positive attachment with. I get so anxious around people that I can't stop talking and I can barely sit down. I need to pace around because new people stress me out. I've been told this is exhausting to be around. I can relax after a while but I drive most people away before that can happen.

Wondering if any of anxiously attached people (or just genuinely people here) have had this mind set of often feeling like they have to impress their partner. Like dress up and look nice to keep them attracted etc. I’ll often find myself thinking I have to wear make up to like hotter for my fiancee or where clothes like the celebrities he likes. Recently I’ve put on a bit of weight because I’ve been comfort eating a bit. Starting to not like how I look and keep wondering if he still does and that I need to lose weight asap so he won’t lose attraction. Then also if I do want to dress up or try something new I never know if I’m doing it for me or to get attention from him anymore. Anyone experienced this? Any advice on how to overcome this mindset?

Edit: and no he hasn’t said I look bad or fat or anything.

In this thread, please share all that you've been struggling with. Find support and be witnessed in your struggless. You are encouraged to share the good, the bad and the ugly! Nothing is off limits as long as it's contained within our rules.

Really struggling to self soothe leading up to a scheduled discussion with my partner tonight. Looking for any advice on how to approach things.

My partner and I have been fighting and our communication and trust has been getting worse for a long time. Last weekend it reached a crisis point and I've been staying elsewhere all week. The idea of going back to the house make me feel scared but I also hate feeling like I'm running away. I've been doing research and it seems like we are in an avoidant/anxious attachment dynamic that is getting worse. I am the anxious partner and I keep reaching out with connecting behaviors to try and resolve my fear of rejection. She keeps responding with distancing behaviours to protect herself. this has been escalating and we are both doing very badly now.

We agreed over text to talk tonight, she requested a phone call. I asked how she felt about talking in person, and she provided a long list of reason why she was more comfortable with a phone call. I responded that I had wanted to come home, and she reiterated that she wanted a phone call, but also that she didn't want me to feel like I couldn't come home. She didn't express any curiosity about where I was at or why I was asking to approach our conflict resolution the way I was.

I am trying to find the balance of prioritising myself, and looking after my own needs, without being inconsiderate to her, but also not needing a specific response from her to make me feel better. I've been very careful this week to assess internally if I'm taking space for myself or if I'm being punitive (and I do think I am motivated by trying to be kind to both myself and her) but our messages last night have thrown that. I feel like if I stay away it will be a petty and self deprecating response ("fine, if you don't care about my needs I won't either") but if I go home it feels like I would be doing it wanting to get a rise out of her.

I don't even think I care if I end up going back tonight or not, but I want to find a way to feel good about whatever way I end up going.

Looking for tips and exercises that help for nervous system regulation. ☺️

Last week was really anxiety inducing and really great at the same time. My BF met my family and I met his. Overall it went good (despite me being a shy person), but this is all new to me and I definitely had my fight or flight going up and down all weekend.

I'm trying to utilize breathing exercises and somatic exercises, but could use more.

TIA!

In this thread, please share all that you've been struggling with. Find support and be witnessed in your struggless. You are encouraged to share the good, the bad and the ugly! Nothing is off limits as long as it's contained within our rules.

I'm 26M and he's 24M. I myself am fearful avoidant (leaning anxious), but I'm quite conscious of my behavioural patterns, and I'm trying to do the best I can to not spill the beans.

We met a month ago through a group of common friends, and at first sight I didn't even realize he was into guys... He knew I was. Some days ago, we went out with our friends to grab some drinks and I directly asked him if he was bisexual -- and he said yes. It was safe to do so because at this point we were already good friends. At this point I was already quite interested in him, and now that I got the confirmation, I felt that I could "enable" myself to grow romantic feelings towards him.

You see, it is quite difficult for me, as a homosexual man, to freely fall in love with another guy, unless I explicitly know he's also into guys. I've been single for over six years now, and I don't desire sex -- I want intimacy. Personally, it's been a tough journey trying to find someone to whom I'm attracted to and who also has enough courage and emotional maturity to go beyond one-night stands and actually risk trying to form a relationship. And... I suppose, I guess, this might be the one.

The second time we went to the bar, I said I was interested in him, I said that I liked him and that I wanted to know him more, but he was just so... Hermetic. I mean, he talks a lot about a variety of subjects, but never about his experiences in life. I said I couldn't quite grasp what he was feeling or thinking deep inside. Well, he said he didn't like to talk a lot about himself because his life was "boring" (which I totally disagree) and that we should go on a date, just the two of us... Next month... Some of our common friends also told me he's known for being this way with them too.

Another time when we went out together (with friends), I briefly tried to explain what an attachment style is and how it is formed. He had some wide eyes when I told him how FAs come to be, and he even told (he was tipsy already) that one thing he didn't learn from his family is... How to show love. Later on, when we were heading home, he asked for my WhatsApp.

We started chatting and (only through text!!!) he said he was also into me and that he also found me interesting -- he said that after I told him all the qualities he has that sparked my interest in him in the first place. He takes a lot of time to answer my messages, but when he does, he's quite lovely.

But I'm totally lost. I'm totally into him and, ideally, right now we would be hugging, kissing, going out, having conversations and sharing stories/knowing each other and establishing that deep, vulnerable connection with each other. But that is not what's happening, and I have some guesses for why that is so, but I'm totally in the dark, without any concrete answers, and it is driving me crazy.

Maybe he really does have difficulties getting in touch with and expressing his emotions, or maybe he's more interested in girls and not really that much into guys, maybe he's fearful that I will break through his barricades and make him vulnerable, or maybe he's just slow and doesn't have much practice with relationships (especially with man), or maybe he's not really interested in me at all.

Really... I don't know what to make out of all of this. This is all new for me, too. Sorry for the lengthy post. I do know this is not the ideal place to bring this situation up, but I didn't know any other place or person I could discuss these matters with, in these terms.

Please help me.

My FA or DA, I'm not sure, disappeared after a really nice vacation last year during which she talked about our future every day all week.

She came back this summer after 7-8 months and really wanted to connect. Texting all day, asking if I was dating. But she couldn't really speak up about what she wanted and deactivated after two weeks.

I pointed it out and said we could stop communicating if she wanted to, she said no, she actually wanted more communication. But over the next 10 days it didn't get better. After two days of what felt like ghosting I told her kindly that I was done and didn't want to be communicating as we had been.

What does this mean? That she wanted to come back but was too scared to say so? It just wanted to see if I was still waiting? Is there any point in asking if she wants to talk? l'm not interested in blaming her. I would be interested in saying, hey, that took courage to ask if I was dating and I think we both held back, and this is common and we could talk about it.

I recently had some relationship problems and started self-reflecting. I did some research on attachment styles and realized I have a pretty extreme case of anxious attachment, and the person I'm in a relationship with is dismissive-avoidant. At first I thought it was a them problem, that they were unwilling to work with me and didn't care enough about me, but then I realized that they had been communicating their needs and boundaries this entire time and I was the one ignoring them. I convinced them to give me another chance, promising that I would do the work I needed to benefit the relationship along with myself.

Since then, I've come to a lot of epiphanies; my attachment style stems from my fear of death and grief, and I tend to relate losing a relationship to someone passing away. I have a lot of trauma surrounding death and terminal illness, and I didn't realize that it was the same feeling until now. It makes a lot of sense. I'm trying my best to work on it, to give them the space they need and to stop relying on them emotionally by practicing self-soothing. I'm also working on feelings of guilt and shame along with negative self talk and self esteem issues. Basically, it's a lot of work and a constant battle. It's also incredibly lonely.

I've been having a hard time today, and I desperately wanted to reach out to talk to them about it, but I'm really trying not to push my emotions off on them. I'd like to add that I also have bipolar disorder, which I'm constantly trying to control too. I'm so sad and lonely and tired. I know I need to do this for myself, and I'd be determined to do it even without my partner, but I'm just so tired. How do you stave off the loneliness? I'm trying to explore hobbies, but it's hard when you're depressed and don't have the energy for much. I just don't know what to do.

1. I need to explain avoidant attachment to an avoidant person who prefers to learn through video. I am anxious and prefer to read. Can someone suggest resources attuned to her style as I realize my favorites may not be hers?

2. I remember a video that showed a metaphor of an energy field and how an avoidant pulls their energy off the field so the anxious person spreads their marbles on the field. Anyone know this video?

3. Any recs for attachment videos hat deal with lgbtq issues and/or spirituality?

In this thread, please share all that you've been struggling with. Find support and be witnessed in your struggless. You are encouraged to share the good, the bad and the ugly! Nothing is off limits as long as it's contained within our rules.