also j. k. rowling: so yeah the horcrux was destroyed by this really really really super bad dangerous fire curse which i never mentioned before it was cast, like even in this book i didn't have hermione mention it offhand as something that can destroy horcruxes but is too dangerous to use, it just kinda wasn't ever mentioned til after it already served an ultra-pivotal plot function, also even though it's incredibly incredibly dangerous and surely advanced dark magic vincent crabbe was still able to cast it :) and it's not considered an unforgivable curse even though its literal only purpose is to fucking kill and destroy :) but hey anyways the horcrux is gone now :)

ok jkr

sure

tru facts

for real

(this post was not inspired by anyone specific or at least not anyone who would see it on this site im just thinking generally ok)

I am SO lucky to have the honour and privilege of introducing the Rankers for the second edition of the Harry Potter Rankdown. We received 30 applications all told, and each and every one of them blew our socks off. We received glorious odes to touching childhood memories, harsh slams against established favourites and, in the case of one of our selections, an entity known as "Alexranker Hamildown." I think I speak for all of the initial rankers when I say that we'd have a pretty tough time breaking into the current field.

To all those who applied and didn't get in, we really, truly loved everything that crossed our desks. All eight of us took the time to pore over the applications, and no decisions were made lightly. We hope this doesn't discourage you from following along, and giving the rankers absolute hell for the next nine months.

To those of you who are taking up the mantle of Ranker, be prepared for the adventure of a lifetime.

Without any further ado, your 2.0 Rankers.

Gryffindor

• /u/PsychoGeek
• /u/theduqoffrat

Hufflepuff

• /u/ETIwillsaveusall
• /u/Khajiit-ify

Ravenclaw

• /u/pizzabangle
• /u/seanmik620

Slytherin

• /u/bubblegumgills
• /u/Marx0r

On November 1st, /r/HPRankdown2 will open, and we'll commence with our first month of betting. Until then, get hyped.

...how many of you clicked open this thread and thought that we'd be announcing the Rankers? Don't worry, you won't have too long to wait. We've notified all the applicants, and are awaiting their confirmations. :)

This go around for Rankdown 2.0, we're taking a different tack on which characters to include within our 200. We want to get rid of characters whose name counts are artificially inflated (such as a few pesky Irish Quidditch Players), and insert characters who, while they may not have hit the page as often, had a helluva impact (like a certain Ravenclaw Tower ghost). You can see last year's list of characters here.

This is an open forum. Say what you need to say, and hopefully, we can come up with a much tighter list for our Rankers to work with!

Do you think the Dumbledore-Snape debate is the most important debate of our time? Do you fall asleep whispering sweet nothings about the Marauders? Do you have unnaturally strong opinions about Bob Ogden?

If you answered yes to any one of these questions, you may just be a perfect fit for Harry Potter Rankdown 2.0

Harry Potter Rankdown 1.0 was a nine month long project where eight Rankers (two from each house took turns) took turns cutting the 200 most prominent Harry Potter characters from worst to best. Their work can be found at /r/HPRankdown.

AND WE’RE DOING IT AGAIN!

This year, we’re switching it all up. New Rankers! New powers to utilize! A brand spanking new theme!

What does it mean to be a Ranker?

• You'll be responsible for 3 cuts and corresponding write-ups a month, to be done up when you're tagged next.
• Write-ups should be engaging and in-depth, cutting whomever you believe to be the weakest remaining character in the available list.
• You'll be responsible for the setup of your post, making sure it's properly logged, and for tagging the next ranker to go.
• You'll need to have the strength of will to stand by your cuts, and have a lot of fun doing it!

By signing up to be a ranker, you’re signing up to stay committed to a nine month long project. Make sure you’re aware of this before you apply!

Full details on mechanics and systems will be provided to Rankers after they’re chosen. Applications will be reviewed by previous Rankers and current HP Rankdown 2.0 Mods.

If you’re at all interested in embarking on this wacky adventure, please submit your application in this form! This application form will take about half an hour to complete. This is by design...we want to get a full view of your writing style, and see how you’d fit in HP Rankdown 2!

#Applications for Harry Potter Rankdown 2 will close on October 7th, at 11:59 PM EST!

If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask on this post, and we’ll answer them to the best of our abilities! You can also tag in the comments or reach out to:

• /u/bisonburgers or /u/tomd317 (Gryffindor)
• /u/k9centipede, /u/AmEndevomTag, or /u/DabuSurvivor (Hufflepuff)
• /u/Moostronus, /u/SFEagle44, or /u/hermiones_teaspoon (Ravenclaw)
• /u/elbowsss or /u/OwlPostAgain (Slytherin)

For additional information!

Nine months, 200 characters, and a carful of rankers later, we've finally reached the end of the road. All that's left is to pass around the Butterbeer, Firewhiskey, and mead and toast a fantastic time. Many thank yous are necessary, but to everyone who's been following us every step of the way, you guys rock our socks off. In the end, ranking these characters would have been fun either way, but it was twice as fun with all y'all around to keep us honest.

With all of the ranks done, this here is our afterparty. It's a place for any and all burning questions to be answered, any regrets and triumphs to be shared, any postmortem analysis, and anything else. We've also got a ton of unlocked bet data from ALL THE MONTHS, if that sort of thing is your jam. Either way, stop by here, ask us a few questions (I guess this is sort of an AMA too?) and enjoy the wrap party!

Preface by /u/wingardiumlevi000sa

Eight months ago, when I first joined Reddit, I submitted a post on /r/harrypotter, asking fans if they believed Dumbledore ever truly loved Harry. I’ve been a Harry Potter fan for as long as everyone but, before that time, had never analyzed Dumbledore’s character. I believed what many people on Reddit believe: Dumbledore never loved or cared for anyone and everyone’s well-being, even their life, came second to the “Greater Good”.

The response I received from the post was overwhelming. It was so amazing to see all the different ideas and opinions of Dumbledore’s character, and even that his character could spark such controversy and differing opinions. But there was one user in the entire thread that stood out to me: /u/bisonburgers. Her response to me and to others in that thread just made sense. It also made me realize how much of Dumbledore’s character, and the books in themselves, I had been missing. I nearly immediately PM’d bisonburgers and, since that day, we have made it a point to talk about Dumbledore every single day for the past eight months.

In January, bisonburgers and I decided that we wanted to submit a post on /r/harrypotter about Dumbledore’s character. We worked on it for months and it eventually reached 40 pages (and is still incomplete, incidentally). Then, just a couple months ago, bisonburgers became a ranker and was graced with the opportunity to do Dumbledore’s cut. We decided to take advantage of our good fortune and began adapting our previous paper into this cut instead.

Introduction

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, Order of Merlin First Class, Grand Sorcerer, Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards, Chocolate-Frog card holder, and — oh yeah — the baddest badass that ever lived.

For the first six books, Albus “Badass” Dumbledore was the wise old man who had all the answers. He was the omniscient fountain of wisdom. Without him, Hogwarts simply didn’t make sense. There wasn’t one reader who didn’t just know Dumbledore was going to answer all of our whos, whats, hows, and whys because that is what old wise men in stories do, especially those with long white beards.

We know Dumbledore was interesting because words like “Nitwit, Blubber, Oddment, Tweak” mean he’s not a boring adult. And because Voldemort was scared of him, and because Fudge was scared of him, and because Harry and the world admired him. But what makes him important to the books and to the story?

Grindelwald

Dumbledore’s storyline is one of the most tragic in the series. When his sister was six years old, she was viciously attacked by muggle boys when they saw her doing magic. She was “destroyed” by the attack and was “never right again”. She began having rages where her magic turned inward and exploded out of her when she couldn’t control it. Dumbledore’s father went after the boys and was sentenced to life in Azkaban (where he eventually died). Dumbledore’s father never said why he went after the muggle boys for fear the Ministry would lock up Ariana, and so the world assumed he (and by extension his family) were Muggle-haters.

If this reputation fazed Dumbledore, it didn’t show. At school, he befriended the “pockmarked” Elphias Doge, who had a “greenish hue” due to dragon pox and by the end of his first year, he was no longer known as the son of the Muggle-hater, but became “nothing more or less than the most brilliant student ever seen at the school”. (Book 7, U.S. p. 17)

Throughout his seven years, Dumbledore “won every prize that Hogwarts had to offer” and was in regular correspondence with the most notable magical names of the day like Nicolas Flamel, Bathilda Bagshot, and Adalbert Waffling. He had several papers published in notable Wizarding publications like Transfiguration Today, Challenges in Charming, and The Practical Potioneer. He was Head Boy, Prefect, Winner of the Barnabus Finkley Prize for Exceptional Spell-Casting, British Youth Representative to the Wizengamot, and Gold Medal-Winner for Ground-Breaking Contribution to the International Alchemical Conference in Cairo.

Dumbledore planned to tour the world with Doge, visiting and observing foreign wizards. But this never happened. His mother Kendra died as a result of one of Ariana’s rages. Dumbledore, with both parents dead, became head of the family. Now as obligated caretaker to Ariana, Dumbledore’s future seemed bleak. He felt trapped in the house and, because of Ariana’s fragile condition, taking care of her was a full time job for the indefinite future. Any dreams felt impossible. At eighteen, he felt his life was already over:

“So that, when my mother died, and I was left the responsibility of a damaged sister and a wayward brother, I returned to my village in anger and bitterness. Trapped and wasted, I thought!” (Book 7, p. 716)

Shortly after Dumbledore returned home, Bathilda Bagshot introduced him to Grindelwald who was staying with her for the summer:

“Naturally I introduced [Grindelwald] to poor Albus, who was missing the company of lads his own age. The boys took to each other at once.”^1 (Book 7, U.S. p. 356)

[. . .]

Educated at Durmstrang [. . .] Grindelwald showed himself quite as precociously brilliant as Dumbledore. Rather than channel his abilities into the attainment of awards and prizes, however, Gellert Grindelwald devoted himself to other pursuits. (Book 7, U.S. p. 356)

Grindelwald is something that Dumbledore has never had before in his life: an intellectual equal. Something that’s apparent to others as well:

“And at last, my brother [Albus] had an equal to talk to, someone just as bright and talented as he was.” (Book 7, U.S. p. 566)

Grindelwald introduced Dumbledore to ideas he’d been working on for some time now and, to Dumbledore, they seemed to be the answer to all his problems:

“You cannot imagine how his ideas caught me, Harry, inflamed me. Muggles forced into subservience. We wizards triumphant. Grindelwald and I, the glorious young leaders of the revolution.” (Book 7, U.S. p. 716)

Dumbledore would no longer feel wasted as a caretaker. And forcing Muggles into subservience would be a way to avenge his sister’s attack — subservient Muggles can’t attack innocent witch and wizard children for doing magic. Just when his future was taken away from him, Grindelwald showed him a way to bring it back.

“Oh, I had a few scruples. I assuaged my conscience with empty words. It would all be for the greater good, and any harm done would be repaid a hundredfold in benefits for wizards. Did I know, in my heart of hearts, what Gellert Grindelwald was? I think I did, but I closed my eyes. If the plans we were making came to fruition, all my dreams would come true. (Book 7, U.S. p. 716)

This is what also sparked his intense passion for the Hallows:

“And at the heart of our schemes, the Deathly Hallows! How they fascinated him, how they fascinated both of us! The unbeatable wand, the weapon that would lead us to power! The Resurrection Stone — to him, though I pretended not to know it, it meant an army of Inferi! To me, I confess, it meant the return of my parents, and the lifting of all responsibility from my shoulders. And the Cloak [. . .] I thought that, if we ever found it, it might be useful in hiding Ariana, but our interest in the Cloak was mainly that it completed the trio [. . .]. (Book 7, U.S. p. 716)

Three simple objects that could solve all of Dumbledore’s problems. But Dumbledore was blinded by what he foolishly thought the Hallows meant. Decades later he would give Hermione the Tales of Beedle the Bard so that her skepticism might slow Harry’s own passion for the Hallows, so that he would learn their true value. But Dumbledore did not have a Hermione, instead he had a Grindelwald, an equal in intelligence, but poorer in morals and wisdom. For the sake of what he could gain, he allowed himself to be swept away. It was for the Greater Good, after all…

“There are all kinds of courage,” said Dumbledore, smiling. “It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.” (Book 1, U.S. p. 306)

But what kind of courage do you have, Dumbledore?

Dumbledore’s Values

The Greater Good, despite its comforting sound, is often used to excuse bad behavior for perceived wider benefits. But the ends don’t always justify the means:

“Reality returned in the form of my rough, unlettered, and infinitely more admirable brother … I did not want to hear that I could not set forth to seek Hallows with a fragile and unstable sister in tow … The argument became a fight. Grindelwald lost control. That which I had always sensed in him, though I had pretended not to, now sprang into terrible being. And Ariana . . . after all my mother’s care and caution . . . lay dead upon the floor.” (Book 7, U.S. p. 717)

This was a defining moment in Dumbledore’s life and he carried the shame with him for the rest of his life. It made him realize his weaknesses: power, but also love, “...that which I had always sensed, though I had pretended not to…”. He had found an intellectual equal, and had loved him for it (as a friend or a crush, doesn’t matter), but it revealed him as a coward, not a brave Gryffindor at all, too weak to own up to the concerns he hid deep. And the result was the death of his sister and estrangement of his brother.

Grindelwald serves to show us Dumbledore’s weaknesses and by doing so gives depth to his actions later in life. Their relationship, and the disaster it turned into, irrevocably changed him. Where once he considered intelligence and influence the most admirable qualities in a person, he now recognized that although he has those, there are things much more important. Something it took him a long time to realize, but incidentally something Hermione knew inherently:

“Me! [...] Books! And cleverness! There are more important things — friendship and bravery…” (Book 1, U.S. p. 287)

Dumbledore is quite aware of his knowledge and cleverness,

“Had it not been — forgive me the lack of seemly modesty — for my own prodigious skill [. . .]” (Book 6, U.S. p. 503)

and when referring to Grindelwald,

“I knew that we were evenly matched, perhaps that I was a shade more skillful” (Book 7, U.S. p. 718)

It took the death of his sister, but he realized power and intelligence do not make one superior, because they are easily corrupted without the strength that love, courage, and selflessness provide.

With such qualities and a reputation for being a friend to Muggles and Magical Creatures (and not just talking the talk, but walking the walk too — he can speak Mermish, is friendly with the Centaurs in the Forest, hires Hagrid and Lupin despite the societal prejudices against them, not to mention pays Dobby, and bothers to understand the giant community), he has every reason to be proud of himself. But often his admissions of these qualities is juxtaposed with self-deprecation. When Harry asks why he can’t drink the potion in the cave instead of Dumbledore, Dumbledore responds:

“Because I am much older, much cleverer, and much less valuable.” (Book 6, U.S. p. 570)

And once again describing his brother:

“Reality returned in the form of my rough, unlettered, and infinitely more admirable brother” (Book 7, U.S. p. 717)

Even while he recognizes his intelligence and power, even while he uses them for good, these are not the qualities he admires in himself. They used to be, until he learned his lesson from Grindelwald. And in fact, these qualities amplify the consequences when he does make mistakes:

“[. . .] being — forgive me — rather cleverer than most men, my mistakes tend to be correspondingly huger.” (Book 6, U.S. p. 197)

Fast forward about four decades and we have another example of one of his huge mistakes. He “learned his lesson”, but clearly didn’t, when he sits in his safe castle while people are dying:

“But while I busied myself with the training of young wizards, Grindelwald was raising an army. They say he feared me, and perhaps he did, but less, I think, than I feared him.”

“Oh, not death, [. . .] not what he could do to me magically. … You see, I never knew which of us, in that last, horrific fight, had actually cast the curse that killed my sister. You may call me cowardly: You would be right.”

“[. . .] I delayed meeting him until finally, it would have been too shameful to resist any longer. People were dying and he seemed unstoppable, and I had to do what I could.”

(Book 7, U.S. p. 718)

Way to go, Dumb-assledore! Despite his realization from his youth, despite living a life helping others and working against societal wrongs, when faced with something he genuinely fears, he is a coward.

Tom Riddle

Between the years that Tom Riddle graduated Hogwarts and the first war, Dumbledore took it upon himself to pay close attention to him. He not only paid attention to what Tom Riddle was doing in the present, but attempting to learn what he had done in the past. Dumbledore did not pop out of his mother with fully-formed plans for everything, he had to know things in order to form these plans, and he had to seek out the information in order to know. So how did he learn everything? — by collecting memories.

“[Bob Ogden] was employed by the Department of Magical Law Enforcement,” said Dumbledore. “He died some time ago, but not before I had tracked him down and persuaded him to confide these recollections to me.” (Book 6, U.S. p. 198)

And then:

“I was able to secure a visit to Morfin in the last weeks of his life^2, by which time I was attempting to discover as much as I could about Voldemort’s past.” (Book 6, U.S. p. 367-368)

These memories were surely confusing until Harry presented a missing piece, Tom Riddle’s diary, that would give Dumbledore the idea of multiple Horcruxes. I’m sure he spent a lot of time analyzing his old memories after Harry’s second year. Dumbledore may not have known until then it was Horcruxes, but he no doubt knew Voldemort had done something to himself. In the Pensieve memory of Tom Riddle’s interview at Hogwarts, he is described as such:

His features […] were not as snakelike, the eyes were not yet scarlet, the face not yet masklike, and yet he was no longer handsome Tom Riddle. It was as though his features had been burned and blurred; they were waxy and oddly distorted, and the whites of the eyes now had a permanently bloody look […]

The Dumbledore behind the desk showed no sign of surprise. Evidently this visit had been made by appointment.

“Good evening, Tom,” said Dumbledore easily. “Won’t you sit down?”

(Book 6, U.S. p. 441)

This does not sound like a Dumbledore that is altogether surprised by Tom Riddle’s appearance, meaning he knew of this transformation beforehand (maybe firsthand but more likely from spies). He also displays the subtlest signs of sass and contempt,

“So, Tom . . . to what do I owe the pleasure?”

[…] “They do not call me ‘Tom’ anymore,” he said. “These days, I am known as —”

“I know what you are known as,” said Dumbledore, smiling pleasantly. “But to me, I’m afraid, you will always be Tom Riddle. It is one of the irritating things about old teachers. I am afraid that they never quite forget their charges’ youthful beginnings.”

(Book 6, U.S. p. 442).

Damn, Albus! Not using someone’s chosen name is a sign of disrespect, but when the name in question is used for pure evil, then disrespect is totally called for! Also, the words, “I am afraid that they never quite forget their charges’ youthful beginnings” is a wonderful nod to Dumbledore and Tom’s first meeting at the orphanage and the fact that Dumbledore has not forgotten what he learned that day.

He figured Voldemort was up to something, maybe even suspected a Horcrux, but where to find it? Or maybe he didn’t make one at all and is doing something else sinister? Dumbledore creates the Order of the Phoenix, which seems much more like a group thwarting Voldemort’s terrorism rather than directly attempting to kill him. With spies all around, Dumbledore can hardly share his theory with anyone because if Voldemort even had an inkling that Dumbledore was aware of a Horcrux (or something similar since Dumbledore is probably exploring several options), then Voldemort could easily move or hide his Horcrux or if Horcruxes are not involved, make Dumbledore’s job impossible by some other means. Voldemort cannot know that Dumbledore is even sort of on his trail. So what can Dumbledore achieve with so little information and so much at stake?

Also, getting back to the earlier topic of bravery and cowardice, Dumbledore does not seem in the least bit intimidated. He knows what Voldemort is, but he faces him directly and without hesitation, not just in this scene, but in every encounter between the two. Brave? Sure, I guess, but I do not think Dumbledore is afraid of Voldemort. He despises him, but he isn’t afraid of him.

The Prophecy

… And before Dumbledore knows what the hell to do about anything, he overhears a prophecy...

The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives... the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies.... (Book 5, U.S. p. 841)

Dumbledore’s ideas about prophecies help us understand his relationship/interactions/plan with and for Harry because it informs us of his motivations/fears. Did Dumbledore protect the Potters because he believed the prophecy or because Voldemort did?

“You are setting too much store by the prophecy!.. …Do you think every prophecy in the Hall of Prophecies has been fulfilled?” (Book 6, U.S. p. 509)

The prophecy did not have to come true just because it was made. But Voldemort, blinded by fear of death, acted on it anyway. Whether his actions happen to correspond with what the prophecy says does not matter to Dumbledore. What matters is that Voldemort is going after the Potters (and Longbottoms). Voldemort sees Harry as someone who will grow up to be powerful because he thinks prophecies come true^3. But Dumbledore knows they don’t necessarily have to. So if prophecies don’t need to come true, then there is no higher power forcing Harry to be involved at all.

Dumbledore does not know what ‘the power the Dark Lord knows not’ will be. Will it be a power of good or even darker evil? Will it exist at all? “Either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives” is probably the most curious part of the prophecy at this point in time, but considering prophecies don’t have to come true, Dumbledore doesn’t need to plan as if it will, only as if it could, which is very different. If this boy can someday vanquish the Dark Lord, then it is merely opportunity that allows it to happen, meaning the prophecy itself isn’t the entity that gives Harry the ability, the prophecy is merely reporting on a third party opportunity. In plainer words, at this point in time if it doesn’t have to be Harry — anyone could theoretically seize that opportunity.

Remember Dumbledore has been collecting information against Voldemort since before Harry’s parents were even born. Would someone who has spent decades on this and who doesn’t believe prophecies have to come true think, “well, I guess that’s that, it’s this kid's job now!”^4. He actually wants to get rid of Voldemort and planning the self-sacrifice of a human that is still a child (and especially how little he knows) doesn’t make any sense. It is an entirely illogical and risky course of action. If Dumbledore were training Harry, he did the shittiest job^5.

So, prophecies don’t have to come true, but they could. Therefore, Dumbledore is not going to ignore it, he’s just not going to believe it’s the only possible future. Once the babies are born, I’m sure Dumbledore tried to determine if there was anything unusual about them and found nothing. So except for the emotional hardship for them all, nothing has necessarily changed in terms of who has a realistic shot at killing Voldemort; fetus Harry could be born and grow up just as he is now and not be any more capable than anyone else at this point^6.

And then the Potters were attacked. And their son mysteriously survived with a strange lightning bolt scar. Dumbledore — knowing from Snape that Voldemort had intended to spare Lily’s life, seeing that Voldemort clearly changed his mind, and that he not only failed to kill an infant but died from the attempt — would realize what happened. Lily had created a magical protection for her son.^7,8

Dumbledore knew that Voldemort was not really dead, but how? It could be spies picking up on Voldemort’s floating soul somehow, or simply a well-educated guess like we said earlier — especially if he’d already suspected a Horcrux. If we accept that Dumbledore greatly suspected soul foul play (that just feels like it should rhyme) long before the Potter’s attack, then I don’t think it would be too difficult to figure out that Voldemort’s soul had blasted apart and a piece had landed in the closest living thing… Harry.^9

And that is something we really want to get across — Dumbledore knowing that Harry must die does not tell us how he feels about it or what he does about it. It only tells us that he knows about it^10. There are so many possible futures that I find it impossible for anyone to form a plan against Voldemort when nothing is definite.

The only thing Dumbledore could know for sure is that Voldemort is going to try his hardest to come back. He also knows the leader-less Death Eaters are a threat to Harry now that he famously defeated their master. After those is the slightly less understood, but for that reason more serious matter that this infant is harboring a precious piece of soul of the greatest Dark Wizard of all time. Dumbledore was not exaggerating when he tells Harry he was in more danger than anybody but himself realized.

Part of that danger is honestly the uncertainty around everything. This has never happened before. Will the infant be corrupted by the bit of soul? Does Voldemort have to be back in human form for that to happen? Does Voldemort know this baby has this bit of soul? Whether Dumbledore asked these or others, he is still in a game where he wasn’t given all the rules. And the stakes are ridiculously high.

Harry Potter

Oh yeah, the main character guy. In nine pages we’ve covered how Dumbledore feels about himself (specifically his shame), the actions he took toward Voldemort, and his feelings about prophecies, and Harry is still a baby. Merlin’s beard, I’m so sort of sorry^11.

The most interesting part is in comparing him to Harry. A lot of fans would say that Harry is not the most interesting main character^12, and that’s true to a point, but to tell this story, that’s who he had to be — perfect in a sense. The story only works because Harry is who he is. The magic only works because Harry is who he is. It’s not some “good guy wins because his name is on the book cover” type of win. Harry’s wins for clear-cut reasons, and as interesting as ManipulativeDumbledore is, the powers that allowed Harry to win came about outside of Dumbledore’s control and in fact despite Dumbledore trying to prevent them. Everyone gets so carried away with Dumbledore's manipulations that many fail to see the more interesting story of a conflicted Dumbledore who doesn’t want Harry involved, but over time sees, through things outside of his control, that Harry has to be.

At the Dursleys

Immediately following Voldemort’s downfall in 1981, Death Eaters were being rounded up. We see evidence of this in the 4th book when Bellatrix, Rodolphus, and Rabastan Lestrange, and Barty Crouch Jr. are on trial for their attack on the Longbottoms:

“[. . .] The four of you stand accused of capturing an Auror Frank Longbottom and subjecting him to the Cruciatus Curse, believing him to have knowledge of the present whereabouts of your exiled master, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. [. . .] You planned to restore He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to power, and to resume the lives of violence you presumably led while he was strong." (Book 4, U.S. p. 595)

Dumbledore's priority during this time was to keep a one-year-old safe from Death Eaters who were so desperate and violent to find Voldemort that they committed “a crime so heinous that we have rarely heard the like of it within this court”. They had every intention of returning Voldemort to full power days, even hours, later. And Dumbledore, alone, knew how much danger Harry was in:

"You were in more danger than perhaps anyone but myself realized. Voldemort had been vanquished hours before, but his supporters, and many of them are almost as terrible as he, were still at large, angry, desperate, and violent." (Book 5, U.S. p. 835)

But, Dumbledore did not only have to worry about the present, but the future too.

"Did I believe that Voldemort was gone forever? No. I knew not whether it would be ten, twenty, or fifty years before he returned, but I was sure he would do so." (Book 5, U.S. p. 835)

And Dumbledore knew what his priority would be:

"I was sure too, knowing him as I have done, that he would not rest until he killed you." (Book 5, U.S. p. 835)

He admitted that even his most powerful protective spells would not have been enough to keep Voldemort away from Harry:

"I knew that Voldemort's knowledge of magic is perhaps more extensive than any wizard alive. I knew that even my most complex and powerful protective spells and charms were unlikely to be invincible if he ever returned to full power." (Book 5, U.S. p. 835)

In order to protect Harry's life from someone who knew magic as extensively as himself, an almost-equal in magical ability, Dumbledore's only choice was to play on Voldemort's weaknesses:

"You would be protected by an ancient magic of which he knows, which he despises, and which he has always, therefore, underestimated — to his cost. [. . .] Your mother's sacrifice made the bond of blood the strongest shield I could give you.” (Book 5, U.S. p. 835-836).

Harry had an awful time at the Dursleys, and based on everything that’s been said, it would be quite out of character for Dumbledore to not pay attention to how Harry’s doing. That is not being disputed, but rather than him turning a blind eye in order to “groom” and/or “torment” Harry, we believe he was simply detachedly neglectful himself, in his attempt to not get too close to this boy, he failed to see to his proper needs. And of course, all the same reasons he placed Harry there in the first place still apply as well: he was trying to keep Harry alive.^13

First Year

Dumbledore turned a page, and said, without looking up, “Keep an eye on Quirrell, won’t you?” (Book 7, U.S. p. 679)

We know that the DADA post is cursed, we know Dumbledore is spying on Quirrell from day one of that year. He knows Quirrell is up to something and knows Voldemort is after the stone. It’s not hard to put two and two together in this case: Dumbledore knows Voldemort is present at the school.

So what can he do about it to protect his students and to thwart Voldemort’s attempts? It seems he puts a few plans into place all at once, back-ups, just in case.

Plan A: Scare Voldemort from entering the school by moving Quirrell to DADA post as message to Voldemort to GTFO.

Voldemort possesses Quirrell anyway, so:

Plan B: By setting up magical barriers, Dumbledore can prevent Voldemort from getting the stone within the year-limit (which is the time frame that he can stick with Quirrell due to the curse on his teaching post).

Plan C: Of course, Voldemort could always try again another year by possessing another teacher or student, so Dumbledore has to think long-term too…

Again, although prophecies don’t have to come true, they still can. Furthermore, Dumbledore can’t very well go to Voldemort and say, “he’s just a boy, can’t you wait until he’s old enough?”. No, so Harry needs to be ready for the extremely real-world burden of his connection with Voldemort regardless of his age, and what better way of building Harry’s emotional maturity than slowly inspiring Harry’s curiosity and knowledge about Voldemort in a safe and supervised environment?

Dumbledore hides the stone in an enchanted mirror. Voldemort would fail, yes, but he would try again some other way. Years down the line, maybe, but he would try again, and the whole time the mirror would be hidden underneath the school. When the time comes to share with Harry why Voldemort is after him, then Dumbledore can also explain his efforts in preventing Voldemort from returning. But he can’t very well show Harry the mirror if it’s hidden underneath the school, so he shows it to him before it’s moved^14.

Does Dumbledore intend for Harry to meet Voldemort at age eleven? Maybe, but although we are used to the plots resolving within the school year, Dumbledore does not know he is in a book. If he shows Harry the mirror in the first book, maybe he is preparing him for an event that he intends to happen six years down the road? If this is the case, it opens up the idea that he isn’t so much puppeteering Harry’s first year, but guiding him slowly. Also, it should be noted Harry went well and beyond Dumbledore’s expectations, meaning that Dumbledore clearly did not intend Harry to go after the stone when he did.

[Harry] could only hear Quirrell’s terrible shrieks and Voldemort’s yells of “KILL HIM! KILL HIM!” and other voices, maybe in Harry’s own head, crying, “Harry! Harry!” (Book 1, U.S. p. 295)

“I arrived just in time to pull Quirrell off you […] I feared I might be too late.”

“You nearly were, I couldn’t have kept him off the Stone much longer —”

“Not the Stone, boy, you — the effort involved nearly killed you. For one terrible moment there, I was afraid it had. As for the Stone, it has been destroyed.”

(Book 1, U.S. p. 297)

Voldemort is about to get his hands on a device that will help him regain full power, and Dumbledore’s main concern here was Harry, both in the moment and in the re-telling. He is also surprised how thoroughly Harry did his homework,

“Oh, you know about Nicolas?” said Dumbledore, sounding quite delighted. “You did do the thing properly, didn’t you?” (Book 1, U.S. p. 297).

Considering he, Hermione, and Ron were in the library researching him for ages, and considering they casually mention his name aloud to Hagrid, even a minimal level of omniscience or manipulative intent would have meant Dumbledore already knew this^15.

Four years later,

“... well, you will remember the events of your first year at Hogwarts quite as clearly as I do. You rose magnificently to the challenge that faced you, and sooner — much sooner — than I had anticipated, you found yourself face-to-face with Voldemort. You survived again. You did more. You delayed his return to full power and strength. You fought a man’s fight. I was . . . prouder of you than I can say.” (Book 5, U.S. p. 837).

Being unable to find enough evidence that he is lying, my only conclusion is that Dumbledore means it — he did not intend Harry to meet Voldemort at age eleven, just as he did not intend to tell him about the prophecy then — he is too young. And if he did intend Harry to meet Voldemort at the end of that school year (but just in a more controlled setting), then he was cutting it pretty close to the end of the school year, which makes me think he did not have specific plans about Harry’s first year, but his guidance was to prepare him so that when he is older and wiser he can handle the burden he will eventually assume.

“Yet there was a flaw in this wonderful plan of mine.” (Book 5, U.S. p. 837).

Harry had displayed exemplary bravery, stoutness, selflessness, and above all, love. Everything that Dumbledore admires. His determination to not get too emotionally attached to Harry begins to crumble.

“An obvious flaw that I knew, even then, might be the undoing of it all. And yet, knowing how important it was that my plan should succeed, I told myself that I would not permit this flaw to ruin it. I alone could prevent this, so I alone must be strong.” (Book 5, U.S. p. 837).

“I should have recognized the danger signs then. I should have asked myself why I did not feel more disturbed that you had already asked me the question to which I knew, one day, I must give a terrible answer. I should have recognized that I was too happy to think that I did not have to do it on that particular day. . . . You were too young.” (Book 5, U.S. p. 838).

Second Year

This year, Dumbledore was not in control at all — he knew Voldemort was somehow behind the attacks, but didn't know how. He would not want to push Harry towards a situation in which he could not protect him. Last year Dumbledore knew exactly where Voldemort was and exactly what he wanted. This year, he had no idea.

And again Harry saves the day. Of his own volition, without Dumbledore’s involvement. Not only that, but he begins to show that he is Dumbledore’s man through and through, even at twelve.

“I want to thank you,” said Dumbledore, eyes twinkling again, “You must have shown me real loyalty down in the Chamber. Nothing but that could have called Fawkes to you.” (Book 2, U.S. p. 332).

In OotP, Dumbledore recalls this day,

“And so we entered your second year at Hogwarts. And once again you met challenges even grown wizards have never faced. Once again you acquitted yourself beyond my wildest dreams. [...] We discussed your scar, oh yes. . . . We came very, very close to the subject. Why did I not tell you everything?”

“Well, it seemed to me that twelve was, after all, hardly better than eleven to receive such information [...] and if I felt a twinge of unease that I ought, perhaps, have told you then, it was swiftly silenced.”

(Book 5, U.S. p. 838).

Dumbledore is making excuses just like with Grindelwald.

“Do you see, Harry? Do you see the flaw in my brilliant plan now? I had fallen into the trap I had foreseen, that I had told myself I could avoid, that I must avoid.” (Book 5, U.S. p. 838).

Sound familiar?:

“Did I know, in my heart of hearts, what Gellert Grindelwald was? I think I did, but I closed my eyes.” (Book 7, U.S. p. 716).

“The Resurrection Stone — to him, though I pretended not to know it, it meant an army of Inferi!” (Book 7, U.S. p. 716).

“That which I had always sensed in [Grindelwald], though I had pretended not to, now sprang into terrible being.” (Book 7, U.S. p. 717).

Such a fool, easily blinded by love. Grindelwald, the friend that had all the qualities he’d admired — intelligence, power, ambition. And until that disastrous ending to their friendship, Dumbledore the coward wouldn’t admit to himself what his friend was ...even though he’d known it all along.

“There are all kinds of courage,” said Dumbledore, smiling. “It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.” (Book 1, U.S. p. 306)

Looks like we know what kind Dumbledore doesn’t have. Where once he admired people like Grindelwald, the experience taught him there are more important qualities, like love, courage, bravery, strength of character; the same qualities that Hermione recognized in Harry, just as Dumbledore did, at the end of their first year.

“I cared about you too much,” said Dumbledore simply. “I cared more for your happiness than your knowing the truth, more for your peace of mind than my plan, more for your life than the lives that might be lost if the plan failed. In other words, I acted exactly as Voldemort expects we fools who love to act.” (Book 5, U.S. p. 838)

He fell into the same trap he had fallen into with Grindelwald, who he’d convinced himself wasn’t cruel. And now, he pretended Harry didn’t have to die. …“And yet, knowing how important it was that my plan should succeed, I told myself that I would not permit this flaw to ruin it.” He did not want himself to get too emotionally attached to Harry because he knew his faults and if it came down to him needing to die, he needed to think clearly about the situation.

And coinciding with his increasing paternal attitude, he was learning more about Voldemort. Tom Riddle’s diary was all but proof that Voldemort had not made just one Horcrux, but many...

Third Year

“I watched from afar as you struggled to repel dementors, as you found Sirius, learned what he was and rescued him. Was I to tell you then, at the moment when you had triumphantly snatched your godfather from the jaws of the Ministry? But now, at the age of thirteen, my excuses were running out. Young you might be, but you had proved you were exceptional. My conscience was uneasy, Harry. I knew the time must come soon. . . .” (Book 5, U.S. p. 839)

And Peter Pettigrew escapes….

(continued in comments...)

#"The world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters."

Moostronus opened his wonderful final post a few days ago by lauding Remus's subtlety - by discussing how, compared to other big characters, "JKR was forced into handling [Remus] with nuance", because he as a person doesn't dominate every conversation, he doesn't always jump off the page and grab you, he doesn't draw the eye the second he walks in the room.

It would be hard to make the same case for Severus Snape.

Snape commands attention. Almost any time he's ever in a scene, he draws your eye the second JKR writes his name, and he keeps your eye on him until he has nothing left to show. The Half-Blood Prince then slides off-screen (presumably to quietly weep in solitude to Simple Plan's "Untitled" or something), returning only when he's ready to soak up all your focus once more. Lather, rinse, repeat. (A phrase likely unknown to dear Snivellus, given the state of his hair.)

More than perhaps any other character in the series besides Voldemort (who was fucking robbed but WHATEVER), Severus Snape cannot be ignored, and he damn sure can't be forgotten.

But he is no less layered for it.

He takes on many roles in the series, and so he has many names besides just "Severus": the Half-Blood Prince. Professor Snape, The Head of Slytherin. Headmaster Snape. Sev. And as the Harry Potter Wiki so dutifully reminds us, "Snivellus Greasy (by the Marauders and some 1975-1976 Hogwarts Students.)"

And he earns them all.

Severus's development is my favorite of any character's in the series, without question. I mean, I will fangasm over Draco Malfoy's storyline for days: his morph from a generic bully to a prejudiced horror to a complex, damaged teenager - his dynamic trajectory that you'd never for a second expect upon opening book 1 for the first time - is absolutely superb.

Severus Snape's development is that times fucking infinity.

Where do I even start?

With such a long, long way to run, I guess a very good place to start is the beginning. Let's think back to Sorcerer's Stone. Long before he had any of these other names, long before he was the complex Severus Snape we know by the end of Deathly Hallows... he was just mean old "Professor Snape." Remember those days?

Snape was not complex at this point by any means - but god damn was he a good character nonetheless. His role was simple and one-note - but damn if he didn't play that role to absolute perfection. Back when the series was still more or less a silly (and delightful) fantasy story about a kid getting whisked away to a magical, hoggy, warty school full of wizards with quirky names, Professor Snape easily made his mark as the most memorable and colorful addition to this cast of magical characters. Just a day or two ago on /r/harrypotter, I saw this Little Daniel Radcliffe quote about working with Alan Rickman. First things first: omg how adorbz. <3 More relevantly, while Daniel is talking specifically about Alan Rickman there, and I myself haven't seen the movies... Snape absolutely had that same impact in the books.

Looming over our favorite students like a bat, concocting strange potions in the depths of the castle, showing favor to the "snakes" of Slytherin and punishing our characters with the highest stakes the series had introduced at that time (taking away House Points!!), it's no wonder Professor Snape was Neville's worst fear. He's everything you could ever want out of the douchiest professor in the school or the creepiest wizard in the castle. Put them both together, and you have someone who steals the show every time he's given the chance; there's a reason people still reference "X points from Gryffindor!" so frequently. The Hogwarts of the earliest books would feel woefully incomplete without the leers and jeers of this overgrown bat; with them, there's no denying that his presence strikes the perfect chord between playful and frightening, between humor and horror, and adds as much fun to Hogwarts as it strips away from Harry.

Along the way, Severus's force as a character is matched by his perpetual presence in the plot. A running question of the entire septology, from the moment we meet The Prince to the final end of his Tale, is "Whose fucking side is that guy even on?" Dumbledore constantly assures Harry and the Order, and us by extension, that Snape can be trusted... but come on, Dumbledore, it's Snape. Have you seen him? Someone that sketchy MUST be up to something! And plus, he's a total douchebag! He's way too unlikable to not be a Death Eater.

This first comes into play in Sorcerer's Stone, where, with no idea of the twist endings these books like to include, we can be pretty much certain that Snape is the one seeking the Stone. He's creepy, he's unlikable, and he does all these things that seem like they could only be hurting Harry, so it has to be him. But his Book 1 story delightfully mirrors his story across the entire series: it turns out that there are positive explanations for everything he did, no matter how blatantly evil they seemed, and he was with the good guys all along.

This fundamental pattern of "Is Snape bad? Yeah, Snape has to be ba...oh, nope, he was good. Okay, he's bad this time, rig-oh. Okay, I guess not." is repeated time after time in the series, but for me, it never loses an ounce of its impact. It remains impactful for two reasons: first, because all the characters are asking the same question, too! JKR doesn't go out of her way to conceal information from us to keep us guessing as a cheap red herring. We know as much as anyone besides the ever-omniscient Dumbledore does. And second, it remains impactful because the stakes are raised every single time - culminating in what appears to be Snape's final reveal of the side he's on in Half-Blood Prince. At this point, there's surely no doubt about what side he's on. He killed Dumbledore. Severus Snape freaking murdered Albus Dumbledore. That... that speaks for itself. There's no way you can explain that one away. A central question of the series is finally answered, at the expense of the one character who was constantly assuring us of the answer we now know is wrong, and Snape has finally shown his true colors, about as black as Voldemort's. We finally have our answer.

...aaand then we get The Prince's Tale, an absolutely colossal fucking whirlwind of a chapter. The mindfuck to end all mindfucks. To me, it's really not even a question that The Prince's Tale is the greatest chapter in the series. It's even more obvious than ranking Born to Run as the best Springsteen album. It's in its own universe. There's it, an absolutely massive gap, and then everything else.

I don't need to recap the story of that chapter, since everyone knows it - and we'd be here forever if I did. But within that one perfect chapter, the ultimate answer where we finally know what's happening in this series, so much of what we thought we knew about Snape gets turned on its head. After the "ultimate" bait, one that seems impossible to argue against, we get the truly ultimate reveal of Snape's loyalty, and every single event that came before truly, finally lines up in place. (This of course includes even some events and questions that don't relate to Snape directly - namely ones on Horcruxes and Harry's final move against Voldemort - because, seriously, The Prince's Tale is the freaking greatest.)

It's like a huge weight of uncertainty - one we thought had been lifted off of us for good when Dumbledore died - is finally removed, we can finally see clearly.

And through this chapter, we learn that Severus Snape is the ultimate embodiment of the series's theme that love conquers all. Dumbledore/Grindelwald, Narcissa/Draco, these are great pairs that highlight the importance of love in the series - but Snape and Lily is the end-all, be-all. They're the #1 thing Dumbledore is referring to. Snape loved Lily, Voldemort underestimated just how much that meant, and in doing so, he wrote his own downfall.

And.. I can't emphasize this enough - who the hell would have expected Professor Snape to be so meaningful??

This chapter also, of course, adds so much to moments we were already aware of:

• Snape's anger at Neville is so much more deeper when you know it comes from Snape wishing Neville had been Voldemort's target instead. Snape's hatred of Harry isn't just because he looks like James; it's also because Lily died defending him. His seemingly random cruelty to some of the students suddenly makes a lot more sense.

• I love Petunia's "They guard the wizard prison, Azkaban" - we obviously assume on our first read that the "awful" boy who she heard telling Lily about them is James, so my jaw dropped when I first read Snape saying that sentence in The Prince's Tale.

• And let's not forget the very first thing Snape does - the way J. K. Rowling first introduces him to us. The very first time he's even mentioned in the series, it's when Harry looks across the Great Hall, gets a pang in his scar, and he assumes it's from Professor Snape. Why does he assume this? Well, what was Snape doing? ...The same thing he's doing in his last scene: staring directly into Harry's green eyes.

These are the kinds of things that make re-reads so fucking special. <3

But we weren't just kept in the dark as a plot device, and this chapter and Severus Snape have a lot more value even than being an epic twist. It would be fucking awesome even if it were just an epic twist, even if it did just render Snape a one-note tragic hero, but it's so much more for that: in this one chapter, Severus Snape becomes one of the most complex, ambiguous, fleshed-out, human characters in the series - all in one glorious rush of characterization.

(I can see the argument that this single-chapter development is weaker than a character like Lupin or Sirius, whose development comes more or less consistently throughout each chapter they're in, but I disagree. I don't think either is necessarily more or less valuable than the other; while I certainly wouldn't want every character to have the kind of reveal Snape has, where all their motivations and humanity are revealed within a single chapter... as a one-off thing, I think that is amazing, because... holy fuck, what a fucking chapter that ends up being!!! The immediacy of it all leaves it resonating a lot more with me than most other characters are able to. And, again, this style of development is perfect for Snape himself - it's the only way Snape's story could be told - because nobody in the books besides Dumbledore knew what the fuck was going on with him, either.)

So now, let's discuss that characterization. Let's discuss that ambiguity, and let's do something I haven't even started to do yet: break down Severus Snape himself. (I managed to type this much while barely even talking about Severus Snape as a human being! That's how fucking awesome he is!)

There's that phrase, "doing the right thing for the wrong reasons." Let's tackle both sides of that one at a time.

Now, Severus Snape, in his siding with the Order of the Phoenix to take down Voldemort, certainly does the right thing. I think it'd be hard to argue against that. In fact, I think even just calling it "the right thing" is understating it greatly and doing Snape a massive disservice. It goes beyond just "right." The way Snape acted in the war was unbelievably badass, brave, and sacrificial.

He managed to hold his own - to remain mentally stable and to guard every single one of his actual thoughts and emotions against the most effective person in the history of the world at reading them - while in a war, for years. He took actions to advance the cause of a man he absolutely hated, who killed the only woman that had ever shown him any affection. He was playing a head-spinning game, siding with Dumbledore to convince Voldemort that he was convincing Dumbledore that he was siding with Dumbledore, with Heaven knows what god-awful fate awaiting him if he ever cracked for a second.

And for years, staring into the face of evil with his life on the line, he never cracked, and he never defected. That is fucking badass. It requires an utterly outstanding amount of talent, mental strength, and bravery.

And a possibly underrated element of Severus's act is how sacrificial it was. Killing Dumbledore couldn't have been easy for Snape; even including Lily, Dumbledore is the only human being in the world who Snape had a halfway decent relationship with, and Snape had to murder him. Yeah, Dumbledore was dying anyway, and Snape needed to do this to ensure that Dumbledore's life wouldn't be in vain - but emotionally, I can't imagine that that makes it much easier to pull the trigger. There's a reason Snape looked so sickened in that scene, "revulsion and hatred etched in the harsh lines of his face." I can't even imagine how twisted Snape's soul must have been in that moment, how utterly sickened every element of him must have felt. There's a reason Albus was reduced to meek pleading.

And what does Snape get for that sacrifice? What happens as a result of Snape ripping his soul in two? After he kills Dumbledore, he knows that all the people he's spent years putting his life on the line to protect and aid absolutely hate him. He's forced to kill the opponent of the man who murdered the woman he loved, to kill the only person he ever had a true connection to - and the people he's been working with for years, the exact people who respected that same person and whom he's been working to help, absolutely revile him for it with every fiber of their being, assuming Snape was a double-crossing snake who never cared an ounce for Albus.

That is a hell of a fucking cross to bear.

And yeah, his name ultimately ends up cleared by the very end of the series. Thank God for that. But there was absolutely no guarantee of that, no guarantee that Snape would die anything but a traitor's death... and a lot of people never got to hear it. Charity Burbage, for example, who dies pleading for her life to the man she taught alongside for years, whose last thoughts in this world are that she was betrayed by her co-worker. (There's a reason JKR chose to put a Hogwarts teacher in that gut-wrenching scene.)

So let there be no mistaking it. Severus Snape didn't just do the right thing. Severus Snape went above and beyond to superhuman fucking levels of "doing the right thing." When Harry says that Snape was the bravest man he ever knew, Professor Severus Snape was a goddamn hero who fucking EARNED that. Godric Gryffindor wouldn't be proud of Snape here; he'd be jealous.

He did the right fucking thing.

...But on the other hand, did he do it for the right reasons?

Let's be clear here.

For all the praise I just gave him, Severus Snape is not perfect.

Severus Snape is not even close to perfect. A lot of people like to idolize and romanticize him as if he were. He's not.

In being Dumbledore's double agent during the Second Wizarding War, he was absolutely a hero... but he damn sure did not start out that way.

In the first War, he was everything he'd go on to fight in the second. And I mean everything. He wasn't some bottom-rank Death Eater like Travers. He was a full-blown, cream-of-the-crop, top-tier Lord Voldemort associate. There is no reason I know of to suspect that Snape ever disavowed his darkest Death Eater views even after Lily died - and he damn sure hadn't disavowed them at the time. Had Lily Evans decided to jump ship and become a Death Eater (probably not possible with her blood status, but speaking strictly hypothetically), I guarantee you Snape would have been thrilled about that. Best of both worlds! He would have gone on serving Voldemort with the utmost loyalty indefinitely, and he would have had no reason to flip.

And in the actual canon, with no hypotheticals, Snape was totally fine with innocent people - even babies! - being killed, just not this one person. So long as the one person Snape values, the one person who falls into Snape's circle, the one person that matters to Snape gets to live, who the hell cares about anything else? The entire world can be collapsing, but as long as the bodies stay outside his door, he doesn't give a damn.

I mean, that's why Lily died in the first place! "Hey, Voldemort, I hear that there's some baby you should kill. And, hey, whatever, innocent people dying is totally oka... wait, Lily's there? No, you can't kill that one!" uh no lmao fuck off dude that's not how this shit works. Severus gave up all the info Voldemort needed to reach pretty much unstoppable heights, and he didn't give a single thought to the innocent people Voldemort would kill - until, in a delicious piece of irony, one of those people just so happened to be literally the only human being alive who Snape actually cared about. Whoopsies! Lily Evans didn't deserve to die, but Severus Snape damn sure deserved to lose her.

And it's that that kicks off the entire series in the first place! James and Lily's horrible deaths, the explosion of the Marauders, Sirius's youth being ripped away from him in Azkaban, Harry's upbringing with the Dursleys... all of that falls squarely at Snape's feet. Almost everything we hate that sets up the series was Snape's own stupid fucking fault.

So in that respect, fuck Severus Snape. Fuck this self-absorbed sack of murderous, racist, tunnel vision. Fuck him for thinking it's totally fine for anyone to die that he doesn't care about and thinking that he gets to toss a bunch of people into the grave then pick out the one person he likes. Fuck his total willingness to help Voldemort construct a stack of bodies miles high as long as he doesn't recognize any of the corpses.

...yet, on the other hand...

Honor can come in different forms. And like Stannis The Mannis would say, a bad act doesn't get rid of a good one - nor does a good one get rid of a bad one.

Snape's worldview was certainly not honorable. Snape's inarguably Dark adherence to it was certainly very, very wrong, to say the least. Yet this does not diminish the admirability of his later bravery, his later badassery, his later selflessness - nor his honoring of Lily's memory.

Loyalty to those you love is certainly admirable, and while it's pretty repulsive that Snape had absolutely 0 regard for the lives of anyone he didn't personally value... when it comes to the one person he did happen to value, he had loyalty in spades. The lengths Snape goes to in avenging the unjust death of someone he loved are fantastic - even if he didn't care about justice in any of the other cases. The way he handled everyone else but Lily is pretty awful - but that doesn't take away from the props he deserves for avenging her.

And there's so much passion to this element of his storyline! The feelings Snape had for Lily burn just as strongly 17 years after her death as they ever did, and that's what runs through virtually everything he does. Aside from how important that is to the story's themes, it's also a pretty fucking great story on itself, one that carries a ton of emotional weight - one that's so evocative, so burning, so alive.

...yet, on the other hand... Snape, dude, Lily isn't yours to fucking avenge.

Severus Snape wasn't in a fucking relationship with Lily. Ever. And certainly wasn't in anything resembling one by the time of her death.

...That's pretty fucking significant.

He shouted racial slurs at her and she cut him off for it - years and years before her death, after putting up with his bullshit since even earlier than that. Lily wasn't his to honor. Lily didn't love him. Lily wasn't his wife. Lily wasn't his girlfriend. I'd go to the lengths Snape went to and make my love my Patronus, sure - if they fucking loved me back. If they didn't, then they aren't "my love" anymore. When Lily didn't, at all, Snape's "love" arguably becomes more of a fucking creepy fixation. At what point do you stop being Illyrio Mopatis and start being Robert Baratheon?

Like, dude, she's married. To someone besides you. Get over it. Wash your hair, make yourself presentable, drop the whole racism thing, and go on Wizard Tinder. There's plenty of fish in the sea. Hell, you don't even have to go all the way to the sea - the giant squid in the pond is more interested in you by now than Lily is. Plus it's probably a similar texture to your hair, so maybe you two can bond over that or something.

...And leeeet's back up here. Even before Lily broke off her friendship with Snape, he was already a fucking creep. Their dynamic was never healthy. Because.. let's go back to when Snape's a kid, before he even gets into all the Death Eater shit. Even then, he was pretty much a fucking creep.

Two girls were swinging backward and forward, and a skinny boy was watching them from behind a clump of bushes. His black hair was overlong and his clothes were so mismatched that it looked deliberate: too short jeans, a shabby, overlarge coat that might have belonged to a grown man, an odd smocklike shirt.

Harry moved closer to the boy. Snape looked no more than nine or ten years old, sallow, small, stringy. There was undisguised greed in his thin face as he watched the younger of the two girls swinging higher and higher than her sister.

---

He watched her as greedily as he had watched her in the playground.

Show of hands here: how many weddings have you gone to where one of the newlyweds says, "Well, he watched me greedily from the bushes - and from then, it was true love! :D "

Yeah uh probably none because DUDE. DUDE.

Like, okay. Watching her from the bushes... kid's nine years old, probably hasn't talked to a girl before, so maybe he's, like, really nervous. I can forgive that one. It's not like he's 20 years old watching someone from the bushes. Kids do stupid shit and he probably doesn't know how to talk to a girl he thinks is cute, so he just kind of hides like a meek little Pineco. Fine.

...Or it would be fine, but "greed"? ...Yeah, no. The word "greed" is absolutely never going to be even close to romantic, ever, and it isn't something you just write off as "He's a kid!" Because that isn't, like, meek ignorance on how to handle a crush. That's possession. That's weird, that's unhealthy, that's awful, that's a whoooole host of things that are not even in the same castle as "admirable."

And that word isn't just a coincidence. JKR used it twice. She wanted to drive home that to Snape, Lily isn't a human being he values as much as he values himself. Lily is a prize. Snape doesn't love her; Snape wants her. And that's a pretty fucking big difference.

So in that respect? Fuck this weird. fucking. creep.

...yet, on the ooooother hand... look at Snape's upbringing. Whatever he became, Jesus, you gotta feel bad for what he came from.

We don't know a ton about it, but we know enough to know that it was pretty freaking awful, almost certainly straight-up abusive. He got absolutely no love or care at home. That more than justifies his 10-year-old self being too withdrawn to come out of the bushes and talk. And when he's so withdrawn socially from his upbringing, and his family is too poor off and too apathetic for him to have any decent clothes or hygiene... it makes sense that he's not really gonna have any friends. (To clarify, when Little Severus is unwashed and wearing dirty clothes, I feel awful for him. :( When I make fun of him for it, I'm only making fun of his adult self - because at that point, okay, dude, you're old enough to buy some shampoo. You can probably make like forty different kinds of shampoo in your cauldron with nothing but a bezoar and half a Mandrake. Get on that shit. [Oh yeah, as an aside, I love Snape's Potions prowess. I'm all about people who are really fucking good at things. And Snape is really fucking good at Potions. The fact that he can look at a cauldron, see how mahogany it is, and instantly know that Neville let it simmer exactly 38 seconds too long in the fifth step half an hour ago - that shit's awesome. <3])

So in turn, when Snape has 0 positive relationships throughout his entire life... can I really blame Snape for getting too attached to Lily later in life? ...I don't know that I do. Maybe Snape's weird and unhealthy, but he has a weird and unhealthy past. She was literally his only friend, ever, in his entire life, ever. So I can see where he would get really, really attached to her on an objectively creepy and unhealthy level - because he never had any other attachments. Just as you can do the right thing for some of the wrong reasons, maybe the way he fixates on Lily throughout his life is him doing the wrong thing simply because he comes from the wrong place.

...Buuut on the other hand, "greedily." Maybe the dude would have been a fucking creep no matter what.

And honestly, his upbringing could probably tie into why he becomes a Death Eater, too. The guy has 0 friends and he's sorted into Slytherin, which is ripe with Death Eaters and the like. He needs some degree of human connection, same as most of the rest of us, so maybe he just fell in with that crowd because it was the only crowd around him. And when his horribly abusive father was a Muggle, I can see where some prejudice might arise from there. (Of course, I have to love the parallel of Harry, Severus, and Voldemort - the Chosen One, the Dark Lord, and the one in the middle - all having really bad upbringings and finally finding home at Hogwarts. Pretty interesting to think how the feeling of warmth that washes over us when we first enter the castle is very similar to what Severus and Voldemort might have felt.)

...Now, that doesn't make it right, at all. Rationally you should be able to know that your father doesn't represent all Muggles, and by the time that you're out of Hogwarts, needing friends probably isn't an excuse to keep hanging around Death Eaters. Join a fucking book club.

But still, there is some context there - context that means even Death Eater Snape isn't quite on the level of Lucius Malfoy or whoever.

And also... I wasn't quite sure where to put this in the flow of the post - but as much as Snape's feelings for Lily motivate him to do good things, they motivate for him to do some pretty fucking awful things, too. Namely, something I touched on much earlier: how he hates Neville for the fact that Voldemort didn't go after him, and he hates Harry for the fact that Lily sacrificed herself for him.

Which... Jesus Christ. Fuck you, Snape.

I said that his treatment of these two particular students is deeper and makes more sense after The Prince's Tale. But that does not mean it's more justifiable. He's resenting two innocent students for things they had no responsibility for, which is already bad enough - but what he's resenting them for is not dying, which is even worse! That's fucking sickening! Even after Lily dies, he still doesn't see the error of his ways and see that people dying is bad. He just wishes someone had different died. He wishes Harry and Neville were dead, and he has no turmoil or guilt about feeling that way; he takes it out on them, as if it's something they should feel bad about somehow - and he takes it out on them so intensely that Neville's worst fear is Snape. A child's worst fear is a teacher who wishes from the bottom of their heart that that child were dead and never pretends otherwise. That's... a horrible, chilling degree of evil.

...Now, because it's Snape, there is - as ever - an "On the other hand..."; Snape's feelings for Lily, however creepy or reasonable you may feel they were, were pretty fucking powerful, so I can forgive him having some degree of resentment for Neville and Harry, having to see them every single day as walking reminders of what could have gone differently. I understand that that'd be pretty hard for him - especially when he knows that he really only has himself to blame. They're a reminder of both his loss and his guilt. It might have been almost inevitable that he'd resent them.

...But to say the way he handles that resentment is immature would be generous. His behavior towards them is absolutely inappropriate for any human being - let alone a teacher.

See, though, this is why Snape is awesome. Not because he's an awesome guy - but because he isn't. JKR could have had Severus Snape be... well, what many readers ended up seeing him as: a guy who's rough around the edges but fundamentally a misunderstood beacon of morality who's flawlessly avenging his love. And, hey, that would have made for a great twist and a pretty alright story.

But it wouldn't have given us a character who deserves to rank in the top two.

What makes a top two character is all of that up above - the fact that JKR took the harder route: harder for herself, and a lot harder for us as we try to work out how we feel about the guy. Whenever you think you've turned over the last stone of Severus Snape, the underside is teeming with life you have to dissect - and you suddenly see two other stones sitting in your peripheral vision, too. The guy is a living, breathing nesting doll.

So going back to what I said ages ago, you can do the right thing for the wrong reasons. But with Snape... It's not even as simple as "He did the right thing for the wrong reasons." His reasons were a mixture of right and wrong, and they drove him to actions both great and horrible.

To what extent did he manage to "redeem" himself - to what extent did he change; why or why not; what do those "why"s say about him?

What is Severus Snape? Is he a disgusting, egocentric racist who was happy to see the world ravaged so long as the explosions didn't hit too close to home? Is he an honorable, admirable martyr? Is he just a creepy fuckwad with a weird obsession? Is he a damaged soul whose flaws emanate from his tragic childhood?

How should we receive him? With hatred as the villain who started so many of the series's problems? With open arms as the hero who made such great sacrifices to help end them? With pity? Revulsion? Disappointment?

...The truth is, I don't know. Severus Snape is a great many things, but none more than ambiguous. As we just saw, if you answer one question about why Snape did something, I think you just end up asking why that "why" was his motivation - and whether that means it's a good motivation or a bad one. And people will disagree on every single layer of this. There are multiple turns at every corner of the Severus Snape Morality Maze. It's all twisting forks, and no dead ends. Cut off one question about Snape, and two more pop up in its place.

I opened with that Sirius quote for a reason. Sirius is speaking directly about Umbridge there, summarizing in one sentence the only lesson she ever managed to teach - but I think Snape teaches it even better. With Umbridge, it's very simple: we know she's not a Death Eater, but we know she's a bad person. With Snape? We spend almost all of the series trying to figure out whether he's a Death Eater... and to this day, people still don't agree on whether he's a bad person.

The only thing that's certain is that, whether he's an awful man or a great one, he's one of the greatest characters in the series. The fact that I can think about him for so long and at such depth, and still walk away having relatively little idea whether I like or hate the guy... The fact that every reader can walk away with totally different answers to these questions, and that they'll still be asked for as long as there are still Harry Potter fans asking questions to one another... that is why, whether you love him or hate him, he is a fucking amazing character. I don't know how I ultimately feel about Severus Snape the person (I think I know which way I lean, but I tried to be fair to him, both good and bad, in this post - and really, I think I only began to lean a certain way through writing it)... but I know I am pretty goddamn fond of Severus Snape the character.

His convoluted web of strengths and flaws means that he could reasonably rank just about anywhere, 1 to 200, on a list of favorite characters... and that means that he absolutely deserves to be at or near the top of the best characters.

Not just that, but everything about him: the fun of his early character, the running uncertainty about where his loyalties lie, the epic answer to that question, the enduring uncertainty about just what that answer means, and his status as the ultimate embodiment of the entire series's central theme.

And the fact that all of this is coming from Professor Snape - the fact that the guy who originally just shows up to make things creepy and be a batlike douchebag turns out to be so much more - makes it all even better. Who on Earth expected that Snape, the creepy Potions Master, of all people, would be so debatable and so human - that the douchebag teacher would end up being the star of the entire fucking series?

But ultimately, he did. The depth of Severus Snape is utterly amazing, and how wildly different is from the way he started out sweetens it even more, brings him from a 10 to an 11 - and that progression makes perfect sense, given his role in the story... so the point is, absolutely everything about Snape comes together perfectly.

From the countless points stolen from Gryffindor to the casting of the White Doe, reading about Professor Severus Snape has been an absolute privilege every time I have read this series, and it will continue to be every time I revisit it.

He was, is, and will remain one of J. K. Rowling's absolute greatest characters.

Always.

Moose (Personal ranking: 6/8) I’ve already talked a lot about Ron, so I don’t want to rehash him too too much, but I just want to say that he totally does deserve to be the top member of the trio. Ron just seems way way more human and real than the other two. His flaws get put on full display, and they’re never excused away. He has a lot of icky opinions and mentalities, which make him less of an angel but more of a well-rounded character. Really, really solid character, and really really human flaws.

Eagle I find it a bit surprising that Ron made it to the top three. I like Ron, quite a bit, but he’s 2nd in the trio for me and barely scrapes the top 10 on my overall list. He leaves me feeling a bit “meh.” He has real flaws and a developed character, but sometimes it feels as though the traits were all just thrown onto the paper and Ron emerged. Blood traitor, inferiority complex, loyal, loves food, chessmaster, average intelligence, decent keeper… I don’t know. I like it, but I don’t love it.

Dabu YEAH! FUCK YEAH! RON FUCKING WEASLEY IN THE TOP THREE. Everyone’s always all “omg hermione’s so smart <3” or “omg harry’s so [whatever positive adjective here] <3” and it’s like, okay, sure, cool, but as a consequence of that nobody ever takes the time to praise Ron and it’s like COME ON you are being his ENTIRE LIFE right now can you STOP. Fuck. Like the dude has older siblings out the wazoo but doesn’t even get to be the youngest, then he’s friends with fucking Witch Einstein and the actual Chosen One and it’s like good luck getting attention, then he doesn’t get it from the fans either. But I am here to tell you that Ron is AWESOME and deserves ALL THE PRAISE and his subtle characterization makes him SUCH A GREAT CHARACTER and oh my god you guys i just can’t get enough of the fact that the ever-neglected Ronald Bilius Weasley is not only the only main trio member in our endgame but actually RANKED TOP THREE <3 There is so much justice in the world.

Owl I love Ron. I’ve already said a great deal about him so I’ll refrain from doing so here.

Ron has a hundred flaws and yet 99.9999% of readers love him despite of this, which I think is the mark of a top character. Its because most of his flaws are understandable if you look at the circumstances. And most of us understand how he feels in most situations. Ok so not many of us are gangly, freckly, ginger, have 5 older brothers, a younger sister, the chosen one and the cleverest person ever for best friends. Nearly everyone has felt overlooked at least a couple of times though, not special, not good enough for the person they love or the spot on the team. These feelings are laid on really thick with Ron too, its not something you grow to realise with him, he instantly tells Harry about the situation with his brothers, and an early chapter is began with unknowns pointing out HP as "stood next to the tall ginger guy". Ron is a hero in this book because despite often letting these shitty feelings get the better of him he always comes good in the end. Plus, he gets the girl!

In a way, Percy highlights the way Ron could have gone. He has similar problems to Ron - always ridiculed by the twins, his brother has already been head boy etc. This connection is strengthened by Percy boasting about being head boy so as to feel more noticed. Tywin Lannister would have something to say about people who must say "I'm head boy". But Ron is anxious not to talk badly about his mother, even about the dry tuna sandwiches. He is obnoxious and whingy and loses his temper a lot but you always know that he wouldnt swap his family for anything in the world. Percy is always polite early on but given the chance he is quick to distance himself from his family, he takes the shortest route out. It's interesting that the two guys from the same background took such different approaches though. Ron said "it's no big deal" if he becomes head boy and doesn't try overly hard academically but Percy bottles it all in and uses it to drive himself to be better than the family. On the other hand, Percy had no interest in playing quidditch (Charlie had already had success there) but Ron harboured a secret dream of playing.

Some of the best humour in the books comes from Rons sarcasm imo. I am going to more detail but I think as an answer to why Ron has placed so highly you need look no further than the fact that he's important to the plot while adding a great deal of humour and undergoing character development.

Rons relationships feel very real. I honestly feel like him and Harry feel exactly like you do with your best mate aged 11, then as a teenager, then young adult. While there's been criticism of Harry and Ginnys fairly basic relationship, Ron and Hermiones is far from it. It is a little bit predictable but I don't mind that too much, not everything has to be a huge twist. His hatred of Draco obviously also feels very real because he has very justifiable reasons for it. That makes you fall in love with Ron so quickly. Draco is such a little shit early on and Ron says everything you feel. The whole blood supremacists/snobs V blood traitors/poor makes you love the whole weasley family so much. Most of all though you love his put downs of Zacharias Smith. Which is why it is fitting that pricky mcdickfuck was my first cut and Ron is my last. I wish he knew that he finished third in the whole fucking rankdown, ahead of all his brothers, his Mrs AND Harry.

I feel like when I first finished reading the books. I can't believe it's over man this was awesome. I'm so lucky I saw this and there was a space, and I'm even more lucky everyone tolerated my absences and lateness. My phone broke while I was in the outback and I couldn't post for ages and I thought when I got back on Reddit everyone would be super pissed at me but they were all just happy to have me back. I even got an email from Kat saying they were all worried which meant a lot. I have felt wanted in a way Ron never did. Every single ranker has been awesome in different ways which is what has made this rankdown so awesome. Thanks to K9, Kat, all rankers, commenters and betters you are all amazing.

Sirius Black is incredibly important, and I’m so glad that he made it into the final eight.

Of all of the characters in the top eight, Sirius appears in the fewest number of books. He has a role in three books, and his relationship with Harry spans just two years. And yet, he’s one of the most popular and most recognizable characters in the series.

#Sirius has baggage

Sirius Black is an ultimately tragic character with a story that gets more tragic the closer you look.

He grows up in a bubble of already outmoded pureblood ideas. A quick look at the Black family tree shows that the clever and quick Sirius Black was well-placed to be the golden boy. But at some point, Sirius Black stumbled into a different perspective on the world. We don’t know what the tipping point was--perhaps he was always asked too many questions or perhaps he lost faith in his family’s view of the world after the Andromeda debacle. Regardless, he found his way into Gryffindor in September 1971.

Any conservative pureblood views he held after being sorted into Gryffindor (and I’m sure he did still hold some of those views) were deconstructed and cast aside as his friendship with James, Remus, and Peter grew. Even people like Lily Evans would have been a shining example of how his parents had so obviously gotten it wrong.

It’s hard to imagine Sirius’s parents staying silent regarding their son’s liberal views on blood status. It’s equally hard to imagine Sirius resisting the urge to challenge his parents and pick fights with them. His relationship with his parents become so fraught that he was essentially disowned after running away in his fifth year. From what we see, the relationship had long since crossed into abusive territory. The portrait version of Walburga screeches terribly at every opportunity, Kreacher gleefully shares how much she hated Sirius and how she swore he was no son of hers, and Sirius notes that he was constantly reminded that Regulus was a much better son than he and says that his mother “kept herself alive out of pure spite.” JKR makes the explicit comparison between Harry’s experience at Privet Drive and Sirius’s experience at Number Twelve, and I don’t think that’s an accident.

But Sirius finds refuge with his friends, who don’t judge him for his fanatical pureblood relatives.

Unfortunately, he only has a few blissful post-Hogwarts years before it all comes crashing down. Just before his 22nd birthday, his friends are murdered because of a ruse he himself suggested. He spends November 1981 to July 1993 in a high-security (read: dementor-heavy) cell in Azkaban. He spends July 1993 to June 1995 on the run, surviving on rats and scraps. He spends June 1995 to June 1996 stuck in the childhood home that he loathes just as much as Harry loathes Privet Drive. And then he dies fighting for the Order.

Despite his numerous flaws, Sirius is one of the most heroic characters in the series, not least because he’s imperfect and laden down with emotional baggage and still tries so hard to do right by Harry, James, and the Order.

#Sirius is loyal to people he loves

Sirius throws off his family ties and allies himself with an organization that’s actively working against people like his own brother and his cousins. It’s very clear that Sirius cared deeply for his friends, he openly says that he would have died for Lily and James. He is so wracked with guilt over James and Lily’s death that he says that he “as good as” killed them and briefly seems to consider allowing Harry to kill him in the Shrieking Shack as a sort of poetic justice.

When Lupin explains the “joke” Sirius pulled in sixth year, Sirius mutters about how Snape was always trying to get them expelled. For Sirius, loyalty is about people. He’s loyal to his friends, and will cross any number of lines in order to protect them.

#Sirius tries to do right by Harry

Sirius’s love for Harry should not be underestimated. There’s a reason that both Harry and Dumbledore refer to Sirius as the closest thing Harry has ever had to a parent.

When the almost 22-year-old Sirius came to Godric’s Hallow, his first reaction was to ask Hagrid for Harry. Thirteen years later, he asks Harry to move in with him only minutes after Harry has accepted his story.

Sirius isn’t Harry’s only parental figure, but what distinguishes Sirius is the fact that he’s the one adult in Harry’s life that prioritizes Harry’s safety and happiness over literally everything else.

Sirius has spent years in Azkaban knowing Pettigrew is still out there. But what pushes him over the edge and prompts him to stage an escape? Finding out that Pettigrew going to be at Hogwarts with Harry. So he breaks out of Azkaban. He evidently goes straight to Little Whinging to check on Harry, since he turns up in Surrey only days after he had escaped from a prison in the middle of the North Sea. Not to speak to Harry, not to explain himself. Just to “catch a glimpse of him.”

For his part, Harry is far more open with Sirius than with any other adult. It’s Sirius who Harry chooses to tell about his scar hurting at the beginning of GF and about seeing Mr. Weasley’s attack from Voldemort’s perspective.

And Sirius cares what Harry has to say. He patiently listens and does his best to help Harry. In turn, the normally emotionally guarded Harry opens up to Sirius. When Sirius shows up in the Gryffindor tower fireplace, Harry finds himself telling Sirius not only about the dragons but “about how no one believed he hadn’t entered the tournament of his own free will, how Rita Skeeter had lied about him in the Daily Prophet, how he couldn’t walk down a corridor without being sneered at - and about Ron, Ron not believing him, Ron’s jealousy, […]. When Harry successfully completes the first task, it’s Sirius to whom Harry sends a multi-page blow-by-blow account.

And despite the movie portrayal, Sirius doesn’t behave like Harry’s peer. Nor does he view him as a substitute for James. He respects Harry’s ability to hold his own, but he still sees Harry as someone to be protected. He warns Harry to keep his head down in OP, (lightly) reprimands him in GF, buys him a broomstick as payback for missed birthdays, etc. Sirius speaks to Harry three times in the Department of Mysteries, and all three were variation of “get the hell out of here.” Sirius would never tell James to abandon an Order mission, because James is a competent adult, not a 15-year-old with above-average DADA skills.

Sirius is the closest thing Harry has to a parent not because he does more for Harry than any other adult, but because Sirius makes it clear over and over that he would throw himself in front of the Hogwarts Express if it meant Harry would live the rest of his life safe, happy, and loved.

#Sirius serves as Harry's access point

Though we had obviously been exposed to pureblood families before, this is the first time we truly encounter the concept of pureblood society. Sirius’s family backstory gives us a window into the anti-Voldemort pureblood sentiment. Sirius’s story grounds characters like Bellatrix, Narcissa, and Voldemort himself in reality. Voldemort isn’t just some random antagonist trying to kill people, he’s the beneficiary of the anti-muggleborn beliefs held by families like Sirius’s.

Not only does he provide a bridge to the the pureblood world, Sirius also links Harry’s world to Harry’s parents world. He’s a contemporary of Harry’s parents, and serves as a point of reference, making it easier for the reader to imagine the others as real flesh-and-blood individuals. Sirius generally links Harry’s often insular Hogwarts world to the greater wizarding world. He tells Harry about Crouch/Crouch Jr., Bagman, Karkaroff, and spearheads the effort to keep Harry at least somewhat in the loop in OP. He provides a bridge not only to the other side, but to the entire movement. It’s through Sirius we get the clearest picture into what the Order is doing while Harry is off fighting dragons and DADA teachers. We also see him giving the trio news, again, serving as a crucial intermediary between Harry and the actual war.

#Sirius is flawed.

Sirius is very very flawed. Though his treatment of Kreacher has more to do with their mutual history (and Kreacher’s love for repeating tales of Sirius’s childhood abuse to anyone who will listen), he did not always behave with restraint. Nor was he ever able to move past his intense grudge with Snape. Even after two years on the same side, the two were still at each other’s throat. Sirius becomes cold or harsh (verging on hurtful) when he’s upset. He also made the incredibly stupid decision to send Snape to the Willow, and nearly ruined both Snape and Remus’s lives. He was an active participant in the ongoing war between James and Snape. He can be reckless. He’s certainly struggling with his share of mental health issues throughout the books, though it’s especially obvious in OP. Did I mention how flawed he was already? Okay good.

Part of what makes Sirius Sirius is that he’s not the kind of character with long-buried demons. His demons are new and nipping at his heels, but he’s pushing forward despite them.

A few thoughts from the other rankers:

/u/BisonBurgers: I talked a lot about Sirius in my Resurrection Stone post on him, so I don’t have that much to add, but I need to reiterate how dang awesome of a character dude is. He’s a character who has been constantly beat up, and many of those times, these beatings have been self-inflicted. He’s the one who chased Peter to a public street corner. He’s the one who couldn’t stay cooped up. And yet, despite the idea that Sirius is his own worst enemy, we still manage to feel an impressive amount of sympathy and understanding for him. He’s a deeply flawed character and human being, and JKR never tries to hide them from us; she banks on the idea that we’ll love him anyways, and for the most part, we do. He’s a stellar, bold, hot-blooded addition to the series, and every single time we see him, he steals the scene.

/u/Tomd317: There are some really good quotes from him when Harry Ron and Hermione come and meet him in GOF. Not least of which is “If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals”. Its about Crouch and Winky, so becomes particularly interesting when it turns out to be hypocritical. Of course he can be excused for his for his feelings towards Kreacher to an extent, because he reminds him of his dickhead family and is a nasty little blood supremacist in his own right. But is interesting that Sirius’ downfall comes from being a hypocrite in terms of treatment of house elves. This is a huge part of the Kreacher arc which is arguably one of the most underated arcs in the series (not in this rankdown, hes well loved here :D but outside it).

I identify with being a Gryffindor much more when thinking of characters like him Ron and Neville rather than Harry and Hermione. Not exactly anti-heroes but they have really relatable flaws and are always trying to do the right thing without being the national hero throughout.

/u/DabuSurvivor: The first kick he took was when he hit the ground, ended up like a dog that’d been beat too much…

The Sirius/Molly dynamic is some of the best shit in the series. Sirius feels like one of the most ambiguous characters these books have. Like on one hand, dude Harry isn’t James and you’re not fifteen anymore have a Scooby Snack and chill the fuck out. On the other hand he was being fucking tortured by Magic Depression Ghosts in Torture Camp for over a decade - starting when he was, what, 21? He never got to have the Benry phase he was born to have and now suddenly he’s gotta be a responsible adult and shit. :( What a guy. Now I’m sad. I’m going to stop thinking about this and pretend he actually did kill the Potters and deserved all he got because otherwise I’mma get Zoe Barnes’d by a big ol’ feels train. 4/8

One more thing:

I also want to take a moment to thank all seven of the other rankers (as well as k9 and kat). Each one of you brings something different to the table, and I've so enjoyed seeing these characters through another set of eyes. I don't think I'll ever look at Mrs. Cole, Narcissa, or Barty Crouch the same way again. Not to mention Bob Ogden. I've really enjoyed reading the other write-ups thus far, and am eagerly anticipating the last three. This project has been a fantastic exercise, and I'm so glad that I had the chance to participate. From negotiating for resurrection stones to discussing Albus Dumbledore's sex appeal, I've enjoyed working with each and every one of you.

Character name: Draco Malfoy

Character Bio: http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Draco_Malfoy

From /u/AmEndevomTag: Draco is one of the few characters that depending on the book I both despise and feel genuine sympathie for. That a character can draw so many different emotions is a sign that he's very well written. I just wish his development would have come a bit earlier than book 6, because he got a bit repetitive in books 4 and 5. But book 6 completely made up for it. Great Antihero/villain and deservedly in the final. I ranked him 7th.

From /u/Moostronus: (Personal rank: 5/8) I got about 80% of the way through a Draco Malfoy cut for #11 overall before I realized that I didn’t want to cut him. Draco has one fantastic, fantastic book in Half-Blood Prince, which makes his character almost single-handedly worthy of a place up here. He is a character in crisis, and he’s forced to resist duelling influences: his mother’s influence of warmth and safety, his father’s desire for power and personal glory, and Aunt Bella’s ethos of conniving chaos. He leans on all of these prongs of his personality when given an impossible task in Voldemort’s high stakes game of rochambeau with the Malfoy family, and in the end, his humanity wins out. He can’t pull the trigger. He can’t be murderous like Bella, and he can’t be glory-hungry like Lucius. He can only be Draco. Great character, great arc.

From /u/DabuSurvivor: YEAH BITCH! DRACO, OH!

I didn’t play a Stone on Draco but I would have in a goddang heartbeat had the need arose and I am thrilled that he made it here. Draco’s morph from OTTN AGOT Joffrey equivalent to redemptive CPM god is more magical than anything Filius Flitwick ever taught. For real I am SO all about how Draco starts as a generic bully, then he turns into a racist bully, then he turns into a racist bully who aligns with Crazy Torture Cat Lady (no offense to ladies who love cats; Arabella Figg <3 she should have ranked so much higher), he just keeps getting worse and worse and worse - then BAM! CHARACTERIZATION! Suddenly the weight of his own supreme douchelorditude becomes too much to bear when he ends up being the innocent flower faced with the acidic spray of All-Time Douchelord T. M. Riddle and he crumbles and ends up bawling to Moaning Myrtle for fuck’s sake and I’m like poor Draco :( and I just wanna give him a hug and he’d probably push me away because let’s be real the guy’s probably homophobic as fuck, but still, like, who ever thought reading Sorceror’s Stone that they’d ever want to give Draco Malfoy a hug? NOT ME SO I SAY HE RANKS 5/8.

From /u/OwlPostAgain: Draco is a lovely foil to Harry, and it’s interesting to watch his character grow in parallel to Harry. In the first few books, he, like Harry, is focused mostly on petty things like Quidditch games and potions classes. Just as Harry is driven to protect the stone and later Ginny against something he doesn’t truly understand, Draco is echoing his father’s rhetoric without a full understanding of the context. As Harry learns more about the history of the Voldemort movement and where he stands in that movement, Draco is doing the same. Harry is seeing Aurors in action, Draco is seeing his parents and their friends in masks. Harry is spending time with the Order, Draco is spending time with Death Eaters. Harry is exploring his new role as the Chosen One, Draco is exploring his new role as a Death Eater recruit who has been chosen to kill Dumbledore. Though their paths diverge, neither Harry nor Draco ever seems to outgrow the other. Though Quidditch was a huge part of their rivalry in the early books, both Harry and Draco have shoved it aside for more important things in HBP.

Though Draco’s single-minded focus on Harry occasionally verges on obsession (a focus which undoubtedly explains the preponderance of Harry/Draco fanfiction), he’s never a strawman antagonist. He is a well-rounded character whose traits and motivations are perfectly believable.

From /u/elbowsss:

I’ve made no secret of the fact that I love the Malfoy family. I love Lucius in all his slippery glory. I love Narcissa, a truly fierce witch, mother, and wife. And I love Draco, the misguided son. Their story envelops all the shades of white, black, and grey. I would put Draco at 3 or 4 depending on the day. Let me tell you that this rank is going to be ALL pale, pointed, sneering Draco, and none of that nancy-boy Tom Felton (because let’s be real – Tom Felton is numba 1 in my heart).

When the series starts, there is only Draco Malfoy: the entitled, spoiled kid that exists as a thorn in Harry’s side. As the books progress, we learn that there are two very distinct sides to Draco Malfoy. We have the icy, asshole exterior that emulates Lucius, and we have the lukewarm innards that are trying to find their place in the world. Part of the greatness of his character is watching the exterior crumble to reveal more layers of the person that originally seemed to be someone that was decidedly unlikable.

It becomes apparent that Draco is a fountain of information from his mother and father. He repeats everything he’s ever heard, and as such, he is instrumental in characterizing others and driving the plot forward. In the opening scene, he sets the stage for future interactions and shows Harry that the wizarding world is not without its own issues and prejudice:

“I really don’t think they should let the other sort in, do you? They’re just not the same they’ve never been brought up to know our ways. Some of them have never even heard of Hogwarts until they get the letter, imagine. I think they should keep it in the old wizarding families. What’s your surname, anyway?”

Draco Malfoy is introduced as the anti-Harry. Draco’s slick, white-blond hair is in contrast to Harry’s messy black hair. Draco is bored, unimpressed, and in Diagon Alley with his parents. Harry is wide-eyed, amazed, and there with a school official because his parents are dead. Draco grew up immersed in magic. Harry’s first encounter with magic is when he gets his letter. Draco receives boxes of sweets from his mother often and regularly. The Dursley’s send Harry a tissue and an old coat hanger. Draco also brings us a second opinion on the things Harry loves - always on the opposite side of the spectrum, of course. On Hagrid: “I heard he’s a sort of savage - lives in a hut on the school grounds and every now and then he gets drunk, tries to do magic, and ends up setting fire to his bed.” He believes Dumbledore to be the worst thing that ever happened to Hogwarts.

Draco is ruled by pride. He was embarrassed that Harry rejected his offer for friendship on the train. He is jealous of Harry’s innate talent and likability, and so he makes it his mission to discredit him. He challenges him to a midnight duel for the sole purpose of getting him in trouble. He tries to get Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Hagrid caught with an illicit dragon. Draco hates muggleborns so much that he’s repeating nasty slurs. He flaunts his rich boy status by bribing his way onto the quidditch team. He brags about knowing more about Sirius Black than Harry, and he tattles on him every chance he gets. But within all of this, Draco is still a little boy. He’s a thirteen-year-old that is still repeating what he has seen and heard at home. He is a carbon copy of Lucius, down to the slicked back hair. All of this sets up the groundwork for Draco very nicely. Maybe we’ve all known a little shit like him. We come to expect nothing but bad things from him, so when bad things start to happen to him, we falter. JKR really ripped the rug out from under us on this one.

It is in book four that we start to get hints that there is more to Draco. He is privilege to his parent’s extracurriculars, and doesn’t find them abhorrent. But at the same time, there are some indicators that he is growing. Book two Draco openly hoped that the basilisk would kill Hermione. Book four Draco casually suggests that they keep out of the way (albeit hidden in malice). Here is the first crack in the Draco that was boldly built for three books. It’s fleeting and easy to overlook, but it’s there.

Book four also does a good job setting up book 5, in which Draco became truly hateable. With a little digging, we get an inkling of what caused him to go off the deep end. For the first three books, Harry bested Draco in some way. Book one - instant celeb status, and that whole thing with the stone. Book two - everyone thinks Harry is the heir of Slytherin over Draco, who is very proud of his house. Book three - everyone is doing their damned best to protect Harry from a murderous lunatic. Draco, who came to school expecting a free ride and some recognition, has been continually shunted to the side. With the Triwizard Tournament looming, and the age limit on the competition, Draco undoubtedly had a moment when he thought that just maybe they would be on equal footing for a year. And then Harry’s name comes out of the goblet. Even Ron thought he did it on purpose. It’s no small fucking wonder that Draco grasps at things he can hold over Harry’s head, which leads nicely into his placement in the Inquisitorial Squad.

If there was ever a time that Draco was close to becoming his father, it was during his fifth year at Hogwarts. There is nothing to excuse his behavior as he aligned himself with the pure evil known as Umbridge, but we have to remember: as if Draco was an athlete, this is what he had been training for. Everything in his life up until this moment had led to the point where he was standing in Umbridge’s office, holding others captive, and discussing torture to find information. This was the Olympics for Draco, and he did not do well. And then his father, who Draco truly believed up until this point could do no wrong, was arrested. His life shattered.

We can only guess what happened during the summer between Draco’s fifth and sixth year. Some logical assumptions can be made based on Narcissa’s Hail Mary in Spinner’s End and Lucius’ obvious fear and discomfort the next time we see him with Voldemort. Something unspeakable happened to them, and Draco, with a wand pointed at his mother and father, agreed to an impossible task as a last-ditch effort to save them all. Some people staunchly deny it, but Draco is a victim. He is a victim of his circumstances, and he is a victim of Voldemort. Book six proves it. Book six is where Draco really crumbles.

Before book six, Draco was little more than a side character. Draco could pop up at any moment to ruin Harry’s day, but he never had a real story. Book six is different. Book six could have easily been written as Draco Malfoy and the Year of Regret. Or maybe Draco Malfoy and His Sensitive Side. Draco fights so hard for control. I honestly find it heartbreaking. He is on a desperate mission to prove himself, prove his family, and save the lives of everyone he cares about.

What Draco is looking for is a way to save his family, and plausible deniability, and he didn't want to involved anyone that he didn't think deserved it in some way. It’s pretty damn clear from his lackluster efforts that he does not want to kill anyone.Sure he sent the cursed necklace, but KATIE was the one that would hand it off. Katie, on the Gryff team, was also his rival. Sure he ordered the poisoned mead, but SLUGHORN was the one that would gift it to Dumbledore. Slughorn that uprooted his affinity and talent for potions. Aside from his half-hearted attempts to kill, his multiple breakdowns with only Myrtle to confide in are a strong testament to the toll this was taking on him.

In the astronomy tower, Draco hesitated for a millisecond, and the millisecond confirmed the complexity of the duress Draco was under. He didn’t know Fenrir Greyback was going to come, and he didn’t want him there. Draco was a victim, and he went into survival mode for the rest of the series.

Book seven Draco is brief, but even worse. We saw him crumble for only a minute before he built his walls back up, but the cracks were still there. It is made clear in a quiet way that the Malfoys are scrambling. Lucius’ choked voice. Narcissa’s subtle shaking of her head. They are a family trying to survive, but even then, when Harry Potter shows up on their doorstep, amidst his mother and father’s excitement at the prospect of regaining some good favor, Draco is unwilling to commit. He comes to Hogwarts NOT to fight for Voldemort, but to get his wand back. A wand in a world where Ollivander doesn’t exist as a wandmaker. Perhaps the worst part for Draco is once Voldemort thinks he has won, and he calls Draco back over to him (awkward movie hugs aside). He has finally put some physical space between him and the evil that has been keeping his family captive, and here he sees that if he is going to survive, he must close that space once more. He must have felt so hopeless.

At the end,his family is broken beyond repair, but maybe they can grow from it. Maybe they realized that the ONLY reason they were alive is because of muggleborns and half-bloods and the Order of the Phoenix. Draco certainly did. He nodded at Harry on the platform as they sent off their own children. If you had only ever read the first book, would you have seen that coming?

Draco is built up so that he can break and grow. He starts this series as a snotty little boy that wants to be like his dad. They have the same hair, the same ideals, and the same goals. Draco didn’t fully understand the extent of his father’s involvement in Dark Magic in the beginning, as evidenced by him not knowing the details of the Chamber of Secrets, but we can safely assume that he had a good idea of what was happening by the fifth book. Within the span of a year, he learns that this is not the life he wants for himself, and he does what he can to distance himself from it.

Some Stats: Remus Lupin actually tied for fifth in the voting, but because of a super complex tiebreaker, he's in sixth. You win some, you lose some.

Here's what the others have to say!

/u/OwlPostAgain: This is going to be a controversial opinion, but there’s no better time to express controversial opinions. I like Lupin as a character, but I’ve always been a little bit disappointed with him. I consider him to a sympathetic character but one who exhibits deep insecurities that repeatedly leads moral cowardice.

Lupin openly admits to not confronting Sirius and James as much as he should have, undoubtedly because this is the first time in his life that he had proper friends. After Lily and James’ death, there’s no indication in PA or later books that he seriously entertained the possibility that his best friend was innocent prior to seeing Peter on the map. And despite his belief that Sirius was indeed guilty and a genuine threat to Harry’s life, Lupin neglects to tell Dumbledore about Sirius’s knowledge of the secret passages nor Sirius’s animagus form. Instead he convinces himself that Sirius used dark magic to escape. In DH, he runs away from his pregnant wife because he regrets marrying her and getting her pregnant. On top of this, at no point does Lupin write to Harry. He doesn’t write to him when he starts at Hogwarts, he doesn’t write to him after PA, and he doesn’t write to him after Sirius’s death. He has an apology for not writing in HBP, but doesn’t take up communication even after he’s returned.

Over and over again, Lupin seems to grapple with an insecurity far worse than any other character in the books, and it seems to be this insecurity that drives him to reject Tonks, turn a blind eye to his friends’ bad behavior, and not pursue a long-term relationship with Harry. And while insecurity is a perfectly legitimate flaw, Lupin repeatedly fails to act or acts in a less than Gryffindor manner because of those insecurities.

But all of this seems brushed over in the second half of DH. The reader is told that he’s returned to Tonks, and he seems blissfully happy at the birth of his son. Remus then dies a hero’s death alongside his wife, and it’s as though his past failings are sanded down.

/u/DabuSurvivor: Lupin has some awesome understated complexity that I never gave a shit about until the Moostronus nation attacked and I look forward to actually noticing his existence on my next re-read. My fav thing about Lupin is how JKR subverts typical werewolf tropes and makes him a stand-in for marginalized people with HIV/AIDS at the same time - it’s like GRRM’s Others meet “Streets of Philadelphia” and I am so here for it. That said, his death is the stupidest bullshit since the Time-Turner, and I think he doesn’t feel flawed enough for my liking. I mean he has flaws, but they’re all so internal and I have a hard time saying he does much “wrong” in a moral sense. It’s like come on, Lupin, lighten up and fire a Sectumsempra curse at Draco or something, y’know? Still, his life sucks and he doesn’t, so 6/8.

/u/AmEndevomTag: Had the books finished after Prisoner of Azkaban, I would have probably ranked Remus first. He's a super-complex character. He's genuinely kind and helpful to about everyone yet has a dark site that leads him to some very bad decision. Not telling anyone about the secret entrances, even though he knew that Sirius knew about them, is at best irresponsible and at worst selfish to the core. It was to everyone else's luck that Sirius didn't turn out to be a murderer and Remus' selfish decisions didn't have any consequences. But within the story it works and his behaviour is absolutely believable. I ultimately ranked him 8, because he's the only one of the finalists that didn't surprise me in the later books. Everything in the later books was IMO more of an extension of book 3 Remus than a different angle of his character. Still, he's a great character who definitely deserves to be that high in the ranking.

PICTURED HERE: Remus Lupin, as a student and as an adult. I like these images for two different reasons; older Remus really gets into the tired, gray lines on his face, and the self-loathing and sadness that is a hallmark of his character. Younger Remus, however, I love for the likely post-transformation patches on his outfit, but I also love the light. Remus Lupin is shown constantly with light (usually sunlight) shining on his face, illuminating his tired lines and, at times, the shadow of a wolf. I will have more to say about this later.

HP Wiki

HP Lexicon

Remus Lupin is a werewolf.

What makes Remus Lupin’s characterization so special is its subtlety. Unlike Sirius Black, his bravado doesn’t burst into scenes and dominate conversation. Unlike Albus Dumbledore, he isn’t adorned with enough eccentricities to satisfy a Survivor casting agent. Unlike Severus Snape, he doesn’t scowl and snark and sass his way around every scene. Lupin is built with a million tiny details that, when put together, create a fully fleshed-out, fully realized portrait of a man absolutely dripping with emotional resonance and humanity. Unlike the other characters who came before him, chronologically, JKR was forced into handling him with nuance, because Remus is not loud, or bold, or evil, or bombastic, or suspicious, nor is he basic, or bland, or cookie-cutter, or formulaic. He’s a character engaged in constant, silent struggle against himself, revealed in a series of glances, pauses, hesitations, and word choices, culminating in a spectacularly emotional and frenzied self-immolation in 12 Grimmauld Place. However, this eruption, this chaos, this self-war, would mean absolutely nothing if Remus weren’t already the character with the most human strengths and flaws. Luckily for him, he is.

Remus Lupin is a werewolf.

Remus is not a Legilimens by any stretch of the imagination, yet he always seems to know what everyone else in the room is thinking...and, more importantly, what is needed in every situation. More than once, it’s mentioned that he acts as if reading Harry’s mind. He doesn’t have Legilimency (although he is, after all, a wizard of prodigious skill), rather off-the-charts perception and emotional intelligence. My favourite example of this skill comes during the tense first dinner with Harry at Grimmauld Place. Emotions are absolutely flying all over the place--Sirius is cooped up and bitter, Molly is headed firmly into Bear Mama mode, Harry is angsty as hell, Fred and George are being their typical annoying gits, and Mrs. Black’s shrieks are making nothing any better. Every single time peace needs to be restored, it’s Remus who steps in to calm the situation. When Molly invokes Percy and loses her composure, Remus steps in to assure her that the food looks lovely. When Sirius and Molly butt heads over whether to tell Harry anything, Remus pacifies them both by saying that it’s better for Harry to find out in a controlled environment (them) than an uncontrolled one (Extendable Ears), and acts as their balancing mediator throughout the whole conversation. When Mrs. Black flies open again, Remus closes the curtains, and unlike Sirius does not stun her. When Molly is defeated by the boggart, Lupin finishes the job, lends her a shoulder to cry on, and reassures her that she has no reason to fear. None of these actions are especially bold or heroic ones on their own, but when put together, they paint a picture of a man who is always in the right place, and always knows the right thing to do.

Remus Lupin is a werewolf.

If his perception and pacifism are two of the columns in the Remus pantheon, the next one has to be his empathy. He has a well-worn love for underdogs and the downtrodden, being one of both groups himself; as with his perception, we aren’t beaten over the head with it, rather are delivered it through a series of small actions that add up. The most celebrated of these, of course, come when he directs Neville towards the Boggart in the Teacher’s Lounge,^1 and it is an absolutely stellar moment which serves as Neville’s first step towards all future badassery. It’s telling that Harry refers to the basic act of being nice to a student as “something Professor Lupin would have done.”^2 What I love, however, comes when he visits Arthur in the Dai Llewellyn Ward. He spots the lonely werewolf, spending Christmas entirely sans any sort of friend or family, and immediately turns away from the man he’s visiting the second this stranger shows a degree of wistfulness. This is the tiny sort of touch that makes a character pop, because it takes a special variety of person to tear up his plans the second he spots someone who needs him. It’s a very tiny type of moment by design, but it speaks volumes; it’s not extraordinary in any realm other than how grounded in humanity it is. But that’s Remus. He doesn’t go toe-to-toe in verbal duels with long-term adversaries, or wax poetic over raspberry jam. He does what we would imagine the best version of ourselves would do if we were presented in that situation. Now, isn’t that hella powerful?

Remus Lupin is a werewolf.

Because Remus spends so much time in tune with how other people are feeling, by design he spends very little time waxing poetic on how he, himself, feels. There’s a more than high degree of willfulness involved here; he goes to the Queen Elsa Memorial Conceal-Don’t-Feel Academy, because he has more than enough shame about who he is and no desire to burden others with it. Instead of communicating his tumult with his words, short of the many-times-aforementioned Grimmauld Place climax, he communicates with his pauses. The Remus Pause is his signature move, and each one carries the weight of ten thousand Hagrids; because he’s portrayed as a man who has the answer for every situation, the delays in said answers speak volumes about his mentality. I mean, look at this stuff:

“You heard James?” said Lupin in a strange voice.

“Yeah…” Face dry, Harry looked up. “Why--you didn’t know my dad, did you?”

“I - I did, as a matter of fact,” said Lupin.

And here’s another one.

“Sirius thought it would be - er - amusing, to tell Snape all he had to do was prod the knot on the tree trunk with a long stick, and he’d be able to get in after me.”

And another, for good measure.

“He—er—accidentally let slip that I am a werewolf this morning at breakfast.”

And, oh, hell, one more for the road? After all, this is the one most people think about.

“I - I made a grave mistake marrying Tonks.”

When we’re presented with a man who has a firm handle on what to say in every situation, what does it mean when it takes him a perceptible amount of time to happen upon it? It doesn’t require a particularly good finder to see the connection between these four quotes: they are all very, very personal, and all come after very direct questions about said personal matters, because if Remus can avoid them, he will. The first quote reminds Remus of his loss and regret at not saving James, the second deals with his friend trying to make him into a murderer, the third deals with Remus’s pain at losing the one place he was making a positive difference, and the fourth deals with his utterly overwhelming, self-loathing shame. All of these are incidents where Lupin was filled with regret, and every single ounce of that regret was turned inward. It’s the classic two-sided coin: he’s spectacular at warming others’ feelings, and spectacularly awful at warming his own.

Remus Lupin is a werewolf.

If the perception and empathy are what make Remus a great person, the pain and insecurity are what make him an absolutely spell-binding character. When we meet him in Prisoner of Azkaban, the only whiffs of his struggle are superficial--the prematurely lined face, the shabby robes, the greying hair--yet are repeated often enough for this impression to sink in. These are, at least initially, outweighed by his absolute mastery of the dementor situation, and the eternal adoration of every non-Slytherin at Hogwarts. Yet, bit by bit, lines are chipped into Remus’s facade, ensuring we know that not is all as it seems. Why would the person who is most known for defeating a dementor, and whose whole freaking magical realm encompasses the Patronus charm, claim to be “quite the contrary” of a dementor expert? Why would the warm man who is quite eager to delve into Harry’s emotions turn terse and uncooperative whenever he’s questioned about his own? Why would he stop a lesson the second Harry seems to be getting the hang of the Patronus charm? Of course, we later discover the common thread tying all of these counter-intuitive and not-quite-expected actions together, but the exposure of his pain never quite ends. A few terse words here, a less than artful dodge of Molly’s Tonks inquiries there, and more and more of those wonderful, wonderful pauses keep reinforcing our impressions. Because, you see, Remus Lupin is not perfect. He is not in control. He has a struggle beyond that of every other character in the series, and he keeps himself patched together about as well as his blazer: still holding his integrity, but only until the next rip.

Remus Lupin is a werewolf.

Are you sick of it yet?

Are you beyond tired of hearing the same damn thing, over and over and over and over again?

Is it bothering you? Are you upset? Are you ready to reach across the computer screen, grab my keyboard, and bludgeon my head until I can’t repeat this any longer?

Good.

Remus Lupin is a werewolf. Once a month, the most human character in the series loses every single trace of his humanity. Once a month, the man who has a natural aptitude for control gets thrown back to base zero. Once a month, the man swimming in emotional pain throws an astonishingly physically painful transformation into the midst. More than an essential part of his character, it is essential to understanding his psyche. Because, you see, the wizarding world as a whole does not see Remus Lupin beyond this basic, unchangeable, unchooseable characterization. Want an employee? Don’t hire him, he’s a werewolf. Want a friendship? Don’t get in tight with him, he’s a werewolf. Want a lover? Don’t date him, he’s a werewolf. Want to be a Death Eater, a la Fenrir Greyback? Don’t give him the Dark Mark, he’s a werewolf. When Snape “figures out” that Remus had been aiding Sirius to enter Hogwarts, he is no longer Lupin. He’s “the werewolf.” When Voldemort needles Bellatrix for her niece’s marriage, it isn’t Lupin’s membership in the Order that he mocks. He mocks Lupin’s affliction, calls him “the werewolf,” and insists that any children they have will be inhuman cubs. When he tries to care for the broken leg of one Ronald Weasley, a child who he’s mentored and cared for and been nothing less than a stellar human to, does Ron thank him? Of course not.^3 He screams: “Get away from me, werewolf!” You can see how badly this hurts Lupin; he freezes and has to regather himself, a sort of physical Lupin Pause. The anti-werewolf prejudice is so fucking deep in the wizarding community that it undoes years of relationship-building, and leads to instant dehumanization. Because, to the wizarding community at large, that’s all he is. He is a werewolf, all werewolves are blood-thirsty, inhuman monsters, and that’s that.^4

Remus Lupin is a werewolf.

If you think that Remus’s enemies are the only ones who see him as nothing more than his werewolfism, think again. When it became known that there was a spy in James Potter’s inner circle, Sirius immediately suspected Remus over the man whose freaking Animagus is a rat. By process of elimination, too, James trusted him the least; after all, he trusted Sirius and made Peter his Secret-Keeper. Why would they ever distrust the calmest, most level-headed, most responsible member of the quartet? It doesn’t take much of a Seer to piece it together. His childhood nickname was Moony, which just so happens to be the same form his Boggart takes. Can you imagine being nicknamed after your greatest fear? His own friend, Sirius, used him as a tool to try and engineer a murder, not taking an iota of Remus’s feelings into account. Even the man who he loved beyond all, Dumbledore, whose trust he couldn’t possibly break, helped contribute to this...because, once every month, he was taken behind a murderous tree and placed in a tiny room to protect others from him. Every month, he is told that he, Remus Lupin, mild-mannered human trying his best to stay true to himself, is less dangerous than a barely sentient tree which will eagerly murder every single man, woman, or child who looks at it cross-eyed. Even Arthur Weasley, the closest thing to an open-minded and tolerant Pureblood in the entire wizarding world, diminishes his condition by saying that Remus finds it “quite easy to manage,” which we know well is quite, quite inaccurate. Every single step of the way, in every single circle he ran in, by friends and foes alike, Remus was deemed lesser (at best) and a monster (usually).

Remus Lupin is a werewolf.

Remus took the messaging he was delivered by the wizarding world, and like the perceptive and humanistic individual he is, he listened.^5 Every bad thing is his own fault, and every good thing is something a werewolf can’t have. Even the strongest-minded person in the world would suffocate in an avalanche of prejudice this powerful. An exhaustive list of everything Remus blames himself and solely himself for would take hours to enumerate, but it includes being fired, James bullying Snape, his wife being pregnant, his wife loving him, and the very act of his werewolf transformation itself. He chose a very inconvenient time to fall ill, after all, not anyone else. We get to see the apex of this in Grimmauld Place because, for the first time, Lupin is revealing every single inch of calcified self-loathing to the readers, and it’s a stomach punch and a half. The calmest man in England kicks a chair and tears at his own hair, because he is one hundred percent, utterly convinced that he has ruined the lives of the woman he desperately loves and their unborn son. “Don’t you understand what I’ve done?” “Don’t you see what I’ve done?” Again, and again, and again, Lupin blames himself for ever believing that he could live a normal life, a happy life, and he does so in an aggressive and violent manner that only Hermione seems perceptive enough to actually understand. Because, after all, he is a werewolf. He ruins every life he touches. Remus Lupin is a werewolf, and he is merely repeating every little bit of social messaging that has ever been delivered on his doorstep, because how could he not be influenced by everything people say about him?

Yes, he ran away from his wife and unborn child. Was this a spectacularly brave action? Of course not. But if you spent your entire life believing that you were a plague who ruined every single person you touched and told that you were less than human, wouldn’t you not want to take the self-inflicted pain away from the people you loved? Yes, he didn’t tell Dumbledore that Sirius was an Animagus and knew tons of secret passages into Hogwarts. Was it a spectacularly honest response? Obviously not. But if you spent your whole life being pissed on and shat on by every corner of the wizarding community, why would you ever expose your own indecency to the one person who has been truly, no strings attached decent to you? Remus Lupin has spent almost all of his life sharpening his claws, gaining super strength, and savaging himself. Every wound he delivers is a wound he delivers to himself, and while his body heals well enough, the psyche doesn’t mend quite as effectively. And who does he share his pain with? Not Tonks, who seems blissfully oblivious to the fact that her husband hates himself. Not any of the other Order members, who see his condition as “easy to manage.” Not his fellow werewolves, who see the perfect solution for Remus’s crisis: murder and savagery. Definitely not Harry, who proves he has an emotional range smaller than a teaspoon when he refuses to even consider walking half a foot in Remus’s shoes.^6 Remus has spent his whole life carrying the weight of being one who, both in and out of the Harry Potter universe, is portrayed as the largest piece of scum to walk the earth. Now tell me, would that not affect you? Would that not make you a little more hesitant to allow yourself true happiness? Would you not simply get exhausted of wading through the tide of self loathing and just want to curl up into a furry, self-pitying ball?

But Remus doesn’t do this. And why? Because Remus Lupin is NOT just a werewolf.

Werewolves murder. Werewolves mutilate. Werewolves destroy, from property to lives to every single illusion of safety. But there is one thing werewolves do not do, and that is forgive...and Remus, in what makes him such a spectacular character, both as deconstruction of the werewolf trope and as a fully-fledged human, does that in spades. Fenrir Greyback attacked Remus, gave him the affliction that ruined his mental state before it even had even developed, and Lupin reacted not with anger but with pity. Sirius Black tried to weaponize his supposed friend and openly suspected him as a spy, and Remus embraces him without a single hesitation. Harry insults him and delegitimizes his self-loathing, and yet according to Remus, his instincts are “good and almost always right.” Severus Snape is responsible for the death his closest friend and benefactor, gets him fired, tries to lead him to a Dementor’s Kiss and constantly insults and belittles him, and what do we get? “I neither like nor dislike Severus.”

The only person who he doesn’t forgive so readily, so easily, is himself. This is the driving engine of Remus’s pathos and his character arc, and it’s so damn satisfying when he manages to reach that goal. Remus, at Shell Cottage, is a totally changed man. He’s exuberant. He’s dazed by his own happiness. He looks years younger. He’s managed to find the peace and purpose that had so desperately eluded him for so long, and he can’t believe that he could possibly feel this way. His palpable joy at his achieving the impossible hits home for all readers. It’s not a coincidence that he is described as beaming, twice, because this is the latest in a long line of light-based imagery used around Remus. The sunlight around him serves the purpose of highlighting Remus’s humanity; it is the exact opposite of the moonlight that consumes him one night a month, and it highlights the visual physical and emotional tolls that his condition takes on him. His haggard, lined face and his increasingly graying hair are constantly being illuminated and shown as the things that set him apart from the group of blood-hungry werewolves. When he forgives himself, he beams, in that he is not the target of the light. He is radiating it.

Remus Lupin is a character who resonates very strongly for a great many people, especially people with chronic illness and those suffering from anxiety and depression, because Remus’s experiences echo theirs (I count myself in that second group, and I do feel very very strongly that his bouts of self-doubt jibe deeply with my own). While my sister isn’t a fully representative sample size, the blog she wrote before receiving surgery to help her manage her Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome gives a bit of insight into her mindset. As she went over her journey up until that point, she said:

And if I’m in this position, it must be because I missed something, skipped a step, or did something wrong.

Of course, there was nothing missed, nothing that could have been undone, just the blind swinging dick of fate making chaos its bedfellow. Likewise, Remus blamed himself, for his illness, for his inadequacy, for his self-loathing with kept growing and growing and growing as he blamed himself. Remus wants, so desperately, not to be defined by his “furry little problem,” yet for the majority of the novel, he and the wizarding community as a whole do precisely that. He fights and grows and fights and slips and fights and dodges and fights and succumbs to his self-loathing at times, but in the end, he wins. He achieves his centredness. He achieves his purpose. And, finally, the most perceptive, most forgiving, most emotionally intuitive and empathetic character in the series allows himself to be human again.

^1 Can we just marvel at how fucking fast Lupin is able to assess the situation? The second Snape tars Neville with Hermione’s brush^^1.1 and Neville turns scarlet, he realizes how badly Neville needs his moment of glory, and knows how to safely deliver it. This is a man who almost definitely knew Frank and Alice and their deeds, knew what Neville had to grow up with, and knew that anyone and their mother^^1.2 could take down a Boggart. Snape’s taunt was the last piece of the puzzle; he realized the weight of what Neville was living with, and knew that the best way to lessen it was to give the kid some confidence of his damn own. Fuck, Remus is good at this shit. And the only thing we need to convey all this is a single eyebrow raise.

^^1.1 That’s right, I’m doing footnotes on footnotes. DEAL WITH IT. I couldn’t figure out where to put this in my main body, but it needs to be discussed how absolutely stellar a foil Remus is to Snape. He’s just easy-going enough to not respond to any of his taunts, just relaxed enough to always look like the bigger man, yet just deft enough to dig in barbs so subtle and effective that Snape can do nothing but flap his arms and shriek. When Lupin is investigating the Marauder’s Map in front of Snape, the potions master is clearly trying to goad him into an uncomfortable position by asserting the parchment (which he knows full well Lupin created) is full of dark magic. Lupin’s response?

“Full of dark magic?” he repeated mildly. “Do you really think so, Severus?”

Not only does he exonerate Harry, but he manages to insult Snape’s Defense Against the Dark Arts credentials so damn casually that Snape’s jaw grows rigid with anger. From that point on, Lupin has control of the conversation. Silly Snape. Remus’s life is all about subtlety! You can’t catch him off guard like that! Lupin really isn’t appreciated enough as a deliverer of passive-aggressive gold, mostly because they’re so subtle and so effective that you don’t realize you’ve been stung until it’s too late.

^^1.2 Weasley children excepted.

^2 I did a reread of every Lupin scene to prepare for this write-up (LET IT NEVER BE SAID THAT I DON’T TAKE REMUS SERIOUSLY) and one of the things I noticed is that he never refers to people by their surname, including students. Harry isn’t the only one; he also refers to Dean, Neville, Ron and Hermione by their given names, rather than the standard Mr. Thomas or Miss Granger or what have you. The only precedent for this amongst the Hogwarts came when Gilderoy Lockhart wanted to take Harry under his ample wing; obviously, Remus’s use reads rather differently. He is also the rare Hogwarts professor to ask his students “please”; he even uses please when requesting Ron give up Wormtail for his examination, a situation that almost necessitates forward demands. The reason he’s so well-loved by students at Hogwarts, even well after he’s left the school, is because he treated them like equals, not inferiors.

^3 Yes, I know that Ron was justifiably pretty peeved at Remus for embracing Sirius. I wouldn’t expect a welcoming parade. But this? Referring to him as “werewolf” and running away on a broken leg? That’s beyond the pale.

^4 Also of note, now that we’re talking about Ron Weasley, Prejudicial Ponce: when Bill gets attacked by Greyback, he can’t even say the word “werewolf”...heavily implying that, to the general wizarding world, werewolfism is an unspeakable fate. Remus, being the perceptive angel that he is, finishes his sentence for him, because Remus has at this point grown to accept the hushed tones often used around his condition, and is unwilling to be too openly bitter.

^5 This is the point in my notes where I wrote “I’m crying so hard REMUS BABY </3”.

^6 That’s not to say his message was incorrect, mind you; it was what Remus needed to hear. But a little empathy goes a loooong way.

First, some stats:

Neville finished in 7th place overall, with an average ranker score of 5.625. Betters ranked Neville at 4.123 on average, with a median rank of 4th and a mode of 3rd. Only eight (of 146) betters correctly ranked Neville in 7th place.

Personal Thoughts:

Let me get this out of the way. I ranked Neville #1. I would have stoned Neville instantly had he been cut on the way to the top eight. I’m a bit disappointed that he ranks so low in the top eight, but very excited that he made it this far in the first place.

Neville excels for me as a character for three reasons: his character depth and background, his impact on readers, and his dynamic relation to the plot and himself.

Aside from Dumbledore and Harry, Neville has arguably the most fleshed out background. Coming to Hogwarts at age eleven, Neville has lived a difficult life. It would not be awry to compare the pain Neville has dealt with to that Harry’s. His parents have suffered a fate worse than death, living as shells in the prison of St. Mungo’s. His Gram is his guardian, but sees Neville much as Snape sees Harry: a constant reminder of her son. One of the few stories we hear of Neville’s childhood? His Great Uncle Algie casually threw him out the second story window hoping that such a life threatening situation would force him to produce magic. While Harry was placed in abusive situations by his guardians in order to squash the magic out of him, Neville was placed into abusive situation to squash the magic into him. However, we later find out that Neville is being disadvantaged, performing magic poorly because his Gran insists he use his father’s wand instead of a wand that chose Neville. Neville does not have a good home life.

At Hogwarts, he is unpopular, clumsy, forgetful. We are introduced to Neville for the first time by Hermione Granger. She announces that the pudgy boy has lost his pet toad. We are meant to assume that Neville is a bit of a loser. First, he has a pet toad, something that was out of fashion and unpopular. Then, he went and lost the toad within a few hours of entering the train. His physical description is unflattering. And instead of asking for help, a strange and bossy girl asks on his behalf.

At Hogwarts, Neville is sorted into Gryffindor, something that was curious to both the reader and Neville himself. Neville wasn’t brave, after all. He was noble, maybe. But certainly not nearly as popular, athletic, or fearless as the other Gryffindors. This confusion is only strengthened when we see Neville continue to espouse these characteristics. He runs off with the Sorting Hat still on his head, he melts Seamus’ cauldron in Potions, and he is at the center of the Remembrall incident that gets Harry on the Quidditch team. We see that Neville is fiercely loyal to his friends and his House. He is similar to Hermione in that he has a dislike of breaking school rules. And yet, he is willing to break these rules for causes he feels more strongly about. Specifically, we see Neville sneak out of the dorm to warn Harry and Hermione of Draco’s plan to catch them transporting Norbert to Charlie. We seen him fight Crabbe and Goyle when taunted. We see him challenge the trio to a fight when they attempt to sneak out and stop who they thought was Snape.

Neville displays flashes of both loyalty and fearfulness throughout books two, three, and four. One scene in particular I want to highlight is the boggart with Professor Lupin. Neville’s boggart was Professor Snape. In order to make the boggart less scary, Neville combined Snape with another fear- his Gran. While most of his contemporaries had fears that were either impossible or improbable to encounter, Neville faced his worst fear on a (presumably) daily basis. More than that, Neville was able to perform the spell correctly on his first try, counter to the idea that Neville was poor at school and magic. Perhaps this skill comes from the confidence Lupin displays in him during this encounter with Snape:

Severus Snape: "Possibly no one's warned you, Lupin, but this class contains Neville Longbottom. I would advise you not to entrust him with anything difficult. Not unless Ms. Granger is hissing instructions in his ear."

Remus Lupin: "I was hoping that Neville would assist me with the first stage of the

operation, and I am sure he will perform it admirably."

There is another impactful scene from GoF including Neville, but Moostronus covers it well below, and I won’t steal his thunder here.

In his fifth year, we begin to see the shift in characterization that Neville undergoes. In the movies, Matt Lewis removes the fat suit and fake teeth. Neville is shown excelling in D.A. lessons with Harry and the gang. He accompanies the trio to the Ministry, earning a broken nose and an encounter with Bellatrix for his troubles. It is here where we learn that Neville was nearly the Boy-Who-Lived instead of Harry, and we could have been reading Neville Longbottom and the Order of the Phoenix. Also of note is that Neville is finally able to purchase his own wand, and it is no coincidence that his skills continue to increase in the future.

With a new wand and experience in battle came an increase in confidence for Neville going into books six and seven. In HBP, Neville fights Death Eaters once again. In DH, he takes over as one of the leaders of the D.A. in the face of repressive and violent school leadership. He matures from the plump boy who lost his toad to the general of an army, leading students and giving orders.

In the Battle of Hogwarts, we see Neville slay Nagini, eradicating the final Horcrux from existence and rendering Voldemort mortal. Oh, and he does this with the Sword of Gryffindor after pulling it out of the Sorting Hat. Why did Neville have the Sorting Hat? Voldemort was just casually torturing Neville by burning him and the hat alive. No big deal.

Neville appears at many times throughout the novel as a foil for Harry. Their lives are intertwined. Both of their parents are out of the picture. They were both raised by stern and unforgiving guardians. They were the two candidates for Trelawney’s prophecy. When Harry is gone from Hogwarts in DH, Neville essentially supplants his role as head of the D.A. and inspirational leader in Gryffindor. And while Harry is the focus of the novels and the narrator of the series, Neville is secondary and typically in the background.

I mention this because, for the reader, Neville is a much more relatable character than Harry, or pretty much anyone in the Harry Potter universe. Harry is destined by prophecy for greatness. He is the hero. He is often either adored or vilified. And while it’s fun to read about his exploits, there are very few people who live a life similar to that of Harry.

Neville is the opposite. He is not destined for greatness by prophecy. He prefers to avoid dangerous exploits, and is certainly not a concern of the press or the general student body. Neville is human. And Neville experiences a wide range of human emotion. We see Neville insecure, angry, fearful, loyal, happy, determined, desperate, confident, and hopeless. Neville displays a full spectrum of emotion. And through this spectrum, Neville offers very human lessons on life.

Most impactfully, we see why Neville is a Gryffindor. We see that being brave doesn’t mean being fearless. Neville shows us that being brave means that we acknowledge our fears and face them instead of hiding or running away. He shows us that even an unpopular, talentless, and clumsy kid can grow into a strong, confident, happy individual. He shows us loyalty to friends and ideals. He shows us determination in setting and reaching for a goal. And he shows us these things in ways that are easily relatable. While Harry is confronting supervillains and improbable odds, Neville grapples with approval, popularity, and friendship: problems that each and everyone one of us has faced at one time or another. And while Harry makes for a great hero, Neville makes for a great human.

Neville stuff on the web:

A (really cool) Comparison of Neville to Wormtail

A Theory on Neville’s Poor Memory

The other rankers weigh in:

Neville’s plot arc makes up for what it lacks in ingenuity with satisfaction. There’s just something so damn awesome and cathartic about seeing a guy rise up beyond his circumstances and first impressions and turn into a badass and a half, and Neville is the absolute perfect Ugly Duckling. My favourite Neville scene, however, is one where he isn’t being a hero or badass or klutz. It’s him, in the hospital, thanking his mother for giving him a bubble gum wrapper, disobeying his grandmother, and shoving it in his pocket. It gives him a degree of humanity and pathos in a much more subtle way than he is otherwise, and I super dig it. Really good character. Rank: 8/8. ~/u/Moostronus

Neville is fucking awesome. I love him, I love his growth, I love how much more we learn about him as the series goes on, I love that the kid with Trevor and the Rememberall ends up cutting the head off a motherfucking goddamn snake that fucking kills people, tearing down Wizard Hitler’s final magical shield and disabling the God Mode cheat, and it ends up playing totally believably. He sure as hell belongs in this endgame. But I also think that, compared to the others in the endgame, it is a very simplistic storyline and he isn’t a very complex character. Still thrilled he was Cloaked and thrilled he’s here. Rank: 8/8. ~/u/DabuSurvivor

First of all, since this is my last cut/placement in this game, I want to to say thanks to everybody. It was great fun.

wikia

Lexicon

There’s a lot going on in chapter 6 of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. Harry meets Hermione and the Weasleys for the first time. There’s also Neville, looking for his toad, and the rivalry between Harry and Draco truly started. Ginny’s chasing a train, Percy is a prefect and Fred and George want to send a toilet seat to her sister (or maybe not). Not to mention all the background information about Hogwarts and some about Dumbledore that we got.

In fact, so much is going on, that a little scene is easy to overlook. Right after Fred and George told their mother Molly Weasley, who that boy at King’s Cross Station was, she said this: “Poor dear. No wonder he was all alone. I wondered.” This is crucial because it gives us Molly Weasley’s first reaction about Harry. She does not see him as the mysterious “Boy who lived” who defeated the Dark Lord. She sees him as the boy who lost his parents and who was all alone at King’s Cross Station.

At this point, Molly did not yet know how cruel the Dursleys are. But I argue that it doesn’t matter to explain her later actions. She saw a boy who was alone and from this point onwards, she wanted to make him feel less alone. That’s why she decided to give him a Weasley jumper for Christmas. Someone argued in the original Molly cut that it was creepy that she gave him a jumper as a sign that he belongs to the family. She could have given him something else. I disagree. The Weasleys are poor. It makes much more sense for her to knit Harry a jumper as well instead of buying him something. (Just for the record: I never found Luna’s drawing creepy either.)

Of course, long before Harry realized it, she saw him as one of her own. It is telling that Harry didn’t even think about Molly, after McGonagall told him, that the champions’ families have come to see the third task of the Triwizard Tournament. But her hugging him is one of the most memorable scenes in the entire series. Molly, once and for all, has stepped in to fill the mothers’ role in Harry’s life, basically adopting him. She is the antithesis of Petunia Dursleys. While Petunia withholds both food and motherly love from Harry, Molly gives plenty of both.

Nonetheless, she is far from perfect. It’s often said that Molly treats Harry like her own child. But that’s not completely true. Much as she loves her children and wants the best for them, she actually treats Harry better. It was enormously stupid from both Harry and Ron to use the Ford Anglia to fly to Hogwarts. But the only one who gets openly shouted at by Molly is Ron. Of course, given that she didn’t know Harry that long at this time one might argue that it isn’t her task to punish Harry as well. But interestingly she also blames Ron for getting Harry involved, even though Harry is just as much to blame as Ron.

More obvious are some other flaws of her. In the original Molly cut, things like her believing Rita Skeeter and treating Hermione badly were discussed in the comments. Another example is her pretty nasty comment about Sirius’ time in Azkaban which in itself was a result of her being overprotective. It was argued that her reading the gossip articles and her being overprotective is both connected to the housewife/mother-stereotype. This is true, and it is the reason, why I personally ranked her fifth instead of giving her an even better placement. But it doesn’t change the fact that she does have these flaws and is not portrayed as unrealistically perfect.

Her overprotectiveness is also the result of Molly losing her brothers in the first war. I must admit that this subplot hit pretty close to home for me, even though it was only hinted at in the books. My mother’s goddaughter was murdered as a child, and after this she did act a bit like Molly, which is why I always had great sympathy for Molly. She felt very real to me.

Molly’s most memorable scene comes in the last chapter, when she kills Bellatrix Lestrange. “Not my daughter, you bitch!” has become one of the best known lines in the entire series. And true to the theme of mother’s love being important it is Molly, who ultimately defeats Voldemort’s strongest and most dangerous Death Eater.

Molly has gotten an average of 6,75 points in the final round, making her finish eighth.

Sirius Black 1st Place

Thanks for all of the support and helpful PMs. An anonymous Gryffindor spotted K9 riding the Flight of the Hippogriff at Universal Studios and passed word onto us. We’re happy to report that K9 is recovering with the help of her future husband and lots of butterbeer.

I believe he has won this rankdown because there was a sudden and bizarre change in the rules a)hes a bad boy who rides a motorcyle b) He is probably the most sexually experienced character on this list, short of Molly, who has had at least six instances of sexy times. c) He’s handsome as shit. Or at least thats the straight forward answer. Theres also the fact that he would obviously love doggy style.What’s impressive is that he attains this ranking DESPITE spending over a decade, alone, in a prison cell. AZKABANG He’s got the skills, he’s got the edge, and he’s been waiting a loooooong time to expend all of his pent-up horniness in one magical encounter. He will work like a dog Will it be with you? He will take you on a ride you’ll never forget. However if he has been waiting for that long theres a very good chance that your ride would last approximately three seconds.

At first I thought I would struggle to articulate Sirius' sexiness, as I am a straight male. But then I thought..well..a dog is mans best friend. And where better to have an affair than in grimmauld place where it would be literally impossible to get caught. Or we could take a trip to the shrieking shack..if anyone turns up he can just turn back into a dog unless he was already in that form It would also be an amazing novelty to receive oral sex through the floo network. Very hot indeed. Sirius would be a little self-absorbed, perhaps more so than some of others on this list. But he would be so damn good at his job that you really wouldn’t give a shit.

It would seem like everything went really well with Sirius. He’s kind of a pretty boy and he knows it, but you would have fun and feel like the two of you really connected. You would try to call him the next day and he wouldn’t answer. You would never hear from him again.

But then, he would hit you up months later, without any indication that time had passed. You would be pissed at him for calling you, and he would be slightly repentant but not really. And you would end up sleeping with him a few more times just for fun before swearing him off.

So there we have it. Sirius wins this rankdown. He is the ultimate HP Sex God.

I’ve got to type this up quick, because I just received a call from the police. They need to question me about k9’s mental state the past few weeks.

This song is all I need to post. Remus is the sensitive, loving boyfriend who makes sure your every need is met, but once a month...WHOOOOO BABY.

Remus would be thoughtful and attentive. He would want to make sure you are having a good time, and I feel like he would have SOME sort of idea of what he was doing, even if he’s the kind of guy that would be afraid to ever touch you for fear of tainting you with his werewolf disease. Except when he climaxes, I’ll bet he growls - you know, like those lions on the Discovery Channel. You would have to be very careful not to let him bite you, if that’s what you’re into. He would be all “Am I hurting you?” at first, and then he would get really really into it.

K9’s dog Archer has been found safe. He was found wandering around the Denver airport after they found her car abandoned in the parking lot. There was a note scrawled in lipstick around his neck reading, “THIS DOG IS A BIG BABY TOO!” He has been returned to k9’s fiance.

There was a $160 charge to American Airlines on her credit card. We don’t have any news on where she went. DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY CLUES?

We need to find K9!

Draco

Leather pants.

Tom Felton did Draco nothing but favors in the movies, but as mentioned in Neville’s write-up, we are ranking the characters based on their literary sexual appeal (at least we think we are… K9 hasn’t exactly been forthcoming).

Now, here’s the question. Is it possible to make “Wait till my father hears about this” sexy? This in itself if debatable, it it depends largely on how you would rank Lucius Malfoy within this new system. Moostronus, for example, responded, “I’m going to go out on a limb here (a long, hard limb) and say HELLLLLL NOOOOOOO.” However, I have my suspicions that the Slytherin Dungeon Master Trekkie_Becky would answer this question a little differently.

Some people might have a hard time getting over Draco’s punchable face when it comes to sex appeal, but it’s worth mentioning that Draco is very well-off, which some people find a turn on even if you’re ugly whiny blonde dude with a bad combover. It isn’t too far of a stretch to think that he made it to third place by bribing the rankers either.

The other thing he has going for him is his “broken” image. Some people are drawn to catastrophe like a moth to a flame because they want to be the one to fix things (or people).

With all the galleons in the world, Draco is still going to fall short (if you know what I mean). If we take a look at his personality, it’s clear that Draco’s probably super duper entitled in bed and expects favours and effort from everyone he’s with, while providing very few himself.

Having sex with Draco would be a lot of show with little results. He would smirk at you and try to kiss you, but he would completely miss the mark and would instead end up sucking on the corner of your mouth. You’d forgive it, because it’s Draco, and you would lead him to the bed. He would clumsily put his hands up your shirt and then curse while he struggles with the clasp on your bra. You would sigh heavily before taking it off for him. He would pump twice, finish, then roll over and go right to sleep, still smiling about how awesome he is. Later, you would hear that Draco had told all of his friends that he slept with you, and you would regret your life decisions.

Draco’s sexual merits are lacking, but he made his bed above Neville and Molly thanks to his cold, hard [removed] cash and damsel-in-distress outlook.

A break-in was reported at a Denver flower shop a few hours ago. All the yellow flowers were torn to pieces and petals were laid out in the shape of some sort of 3-headed dog. We think it was K9. Working hard with everyone to try to locate her! This picture was grabbed from her Facebook, but I messaged her on FB with no response.

Sadly, we’re evaluating sexual appeal based on the books, not the movies. Which means that this is not admissible evidence.

Though Neville is a lovely character, he falls a bit short when it comes to physical attractiveness. Even at the end, he’s probably still a bit lumpy and awkward, he’s just a more confident (and heavily scarred) lumpy and awkward.

Having sex with Neville would start out kinda sweet and innocent, but you would quickly realize that it was a huge mistake. There would be a lot of awkward elbow placements, and he would sweat more than you would expect him to, and I think his breath would probably smell because he wouldn’t have the foresight to avoid garlic-based foods at dinner. He would breathe really heavily into your ear the entire time, and you would quickly resolve yourself to letting him get on with it so it will be over faster. He’d be the sort of person who constantly asks “Am I hurting you?” even when he was barely touching you. Afterwards he would lay on you for too long while you are eyeballing your clothes pile and thinking about a hot shower. The moment has come, and Neville looks down at you. You watch in horror as a bead of sweat rolls down his nose and falls onto your cheek. He breathes out, “I love you.” You cringe.

But eventually, Neville would start to improve. It would be subtle at first, but never let it be said that Neville doesn’t try his best. With practice and helpful coaching, Neville would become an attentive and thoughtful lover. What he lacked in finesse, he would make for in earnestness.

That said, it’s possible that the Nagini scene is a metaphor for his sexual skills. There are a few ways to go on this one. Does it mean that he’s a heroic and strong lover? Does it mean there’s zero build up followed by a short (but worthwhile) finish? Is the snake Freudian?

Unfortunately, we can only speculate.

Sadly, she's the only woman in the top eight, but what a woman! Molly Weasley is on fire all the time. We all know this. She lives in a house with seven men and none of them dares to contradict her! We can only imagine how Arthur must be react behind closed doors. Maybe he enjoys to be submissive.

Okay, in the 1990s, after becoming the mother of seven children, she might not be the most attractive person anymore. But let's be honest, neither is probably Remus "scarface" Lupin and Sirius "Azkaban jailbird" Black. But Molly Weasley as a young adult? Wow! She's the mother of Ginny after all, and even in her Hogwarts days, she was quite a rule-breaker. She was out with Arthur doing some "night-time strolls". Note that she never told, what exactly they were doing.

A minor drawback: She may find some reason to be mad at me in the middle of it. With Molly, things would be going swimmingly, and you would both be having a good time, but then she would remember that you forgot to take out the trash earlier, and suddenly you are in big trouble.*

*This was the PG version of the original sentence which I copied and pasted. :-p

We managed to get ahold of K9’s fiance. Apparently she said her dog understood her better than he did and just drove off with it? He doesn't know where she has gone, but she posted this pic shortly after she left. She was wearing only a robe and some house slippers. We are doing everything we can to help find her. Please keep her in your thoughts.

Character name: Ron Weasley.

Character bio: http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Ronald_Weasley

The boy next door.

His red hair proclaims that he has no soul, but how does he rank when it comes to sex appeal? We are going to look at his physical characteristics, confidence, and assumed sexual prowess.

He was tall, thin, and gangling, with freckles, big hands and feet, and a long nose.

And someone was goggling through the bars at him: a freckle-face, red-haired, long-nosed someone.

They were there, both of them, sitting outside Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlor - Ron looking incredibly freckly [...]

[...] shorter and stockier than Percy and Ron, who were both long and lanky.

He seemed to have grown several more inches during their month apart, making him taller and more gangly looking than ever, though the long nose, bright red hair, and freckles were the same.

A long, looming shadow quivered in front of him for a moment; he blinked and Ron Weasley came into focus, grinning down at him.

Ron, long and lanky

I’m sure you’ve noticed that Ron is repreatedly described as tall and freckled, but JKR also makes a point to describe him as “long” at every opportunity (his face and nose in particular). This is not a coincidence. Though Ron’s descriptions are generally dopey and make him sound more like a clown than a man, her repeated use of the words long, lanky, and gangly put someone into mind that might actually blow away in the wind. There is physically not a lot to Ron. I’m going to rate Ron 4/10 in appearance, and that is assuming that JKR’s repeated use of the word “long” in reference to his various body parts means that there might be more to Ron than meets the eye, if you know what I mean.

Whatever Ron may be packing, it certainly isn’t confidence. He’s the kind of guy that fakes it until he makes it, and he doesn’t always make it. He read a book and grew in leaps and bounds when it involved wooing the witches, but when it came down to it, his insecurities were still a huge point of contention between him, Harry, and Hermione. I’m going to rate Ron a 3/10 in confidence.

To conclude this post, we’re going to get a little sexual (I’m hoping this will lure /u/k9centipede out from wherever she’s been hiding). What would Ron be like in the sack?

OwlPostAgain thinks that he would be a very attentive lover. He would just be grateful that he’s getting it on at all. He might wear Axe Body Spray, but he would be open to switching it up if you complained about it.

Moostronus thinks that Ron would probably be the sulkiest lover of the bunch. The whole time, he’d whine about who was diddling Ginny. 10/10, would pass on his ass.

I think that Ron would have NO IDEA what he was doing, but he would never, ever admit it. It would be really obvious anyways because his hands would shake the entire time (which I GUESS could be a good thing?). And you know what they say about big hands… They would have more leverage to shake violently, and you would be in severe danger of being grievously injured. I think where Neville is the kind of person to ask repeatedly if he is hurting you, Ron would do the same, except he might actually accidentally headbutt you in the face and end the encounter early.

Then, while you’re trying to stop your nose from bleeding all over the bed, he’d ask you to make him a sandwich, and then he’d eat it in bed and get crumbs all over the place. And you would catch him using your blanket as a napkin. This sound like an overall awful experience, so I'm going to give him a 2/10 in sexual prowess.

In summary, Ron deserves to be ranked here, above only Snape and Dumbledore, after only scoring an average of 3/10 in the Sex Appeal Department. There are truly the only two people that I feel confident are worse rated in sexual stats than our favorite ginger. Even MOLLY has undeniable experience. Sorry Ron!

So some of you may have already heard about this, but k9 posted a status on Facebook about some issues she's having with her wedding. I've shared it here with the relevant names blacked out to keep everyone, including my fellow rankers, more in the loop. Hasn't responded to my messages. In the meantime, may as well keep chugging forward. I hope that we can do this and make her time less stressful for her. <3

Albus Dumbledore. The most important question. Can he get it up, or is he merely a dry, shrivelled, wrinkly receptacle?

EDIT: Dumbledore himself answers this question in Goblet of Fire!

"No spell can raise the dead," Dumbledore said heavily.

Young Albus was a red-headed dude, so you already know he’s going to get ranked pretty low here on sexual merit. He was also a long-term bachelor, after having his heart broke by a summer fling! And what a fling it was, leaving not only his heart shattered, but also his family. So at a young age he learned that loving someone results in a lot of heart-ache, and never tried to get over it, so I feel like he’d probably be a rather shitty lover.

He’s at least higher than Snape because Dumbledore is an inherently good person, so he’d prefer you enjoy yourself. But he’s also pretty old at the point the books take place, so it’s unknown if he’s even CAPABLE of having sex. Is there a wizarding viagra? He also has that giant beard that would get in the way, and absorb all scents from the acts.

He’s also the sort of guy that would leave his socks on the entire time. Woollen socks. You know it.

On the other hand, he is fundamentally a good person (even if he arguably went off track a little). So it’s possible that he would be rather generous.

Before copulating with Albus, you would need to tie his beard back so it wouldn’t “interfere.” It’s long enough to tuck into his belt, you know. He seems rather inexperienced, but I think that he would be eager enough. It would be a safe bet that he read everything he could on the subject before ever attempting, so his movements would be somewhat mechanical. He would probably forget to take his shoes off, and his glasses would fall off in the middle, and everything would feel too soft - from his hands to his knees. He would awkwardly take off his shoes after the first minute or two, but would leave his socks on throughout...and I think Albus wears thigh-highs. Imagine a skinny old white dude with a long white beard wearing nothing but a pair of maroon thigh-highs. He probably wears them to keep his skin in place. People that old have migratory skin issues.

In conclusion, don't have sex with Albus Dumbledore.

If you guys know what k9's up to, eight very concerned rankers would love to know.

So we’ve all been trying to pm K9 regarding her new "setup" but she’s not responding. We’re not really sure what’s going on, but we don’t have much of a choice. The truth is that k9 has been blackmailing all eight of us for years. Why do you think we were wiIlling to do this in the first place?

Given the circumstances, we decided to quickly take a vote. Unfortunately Professor Snape came in dead last.

Although the amazing Alan Rickman has brought a lot of sex appeal to this horrid character, we must base our ranking of them on their sexual merits FROM THE BOOKS (or at least I assume so, k9 didn’t say THAT changed…). And quite frankly, he would be a horrible lover.

Snape would be weird in bed, and not in a good way. He’d be the sort of person who pokes you in all the wrong spots just to see what happens, and the sort of person who would breathe right into your ear so your inner ear feels as wet and greasy as his hair. Though /u/trekkie_becky has claimed that he's better than one would expect, I'm not sure she's operating with a full Exploding Snap deck, if you catch my drift.

He had one love, who he still pined away for until he died. So he has zero experience, and would be thinking of someone else the entire time. And not even thinking about his actual experiences with her, but his FANTASIES of being with her. And no one can live up to fantasies, especially not fantasies of someone else.

So he would be bad in bed, and then act like it’s your fault, since the sex always goes so WELL in HIS fantasy, the only new factor is YOU. He also doesn’t take criticism well, so if you tried to help him be better, he’d get defensive and end storming out in a very unsexy way.

His poor hygiene means you’re going to be cringing the whole time he’s touching you, because you don’t know what’s under his fingernails and you don’t want THAT anywhere in your privates. Dabu has pointed out that the grease in his hair would make a good lubricant, but that’s not enough to bump him higher in this list.

To quote elbowsss, Sex with Snape would be an awful lot like sex with Neville in that there would be a lot of awkward elbow placements and he would breathe heavily into your ear. He would grunt a comical amount and you would find yourself trying not to laugh in the middle of it. Instead of sweat dripping down his nose and falling on your face, it would be grease. Once he finished, he would immediately stand up and say something awkward like, “Thank you” while he sweeps from the room. You would be stunned to realize that he never took his robes completely off to do the deed.

On top of all of that, JKR said that he smells like bitterness and old shoes, and that’s not exactly a popular cologne flavor.

On a separate but not entirely unrelated note, if if anyone has K9’s cell phone number, please PM the mods ASAP.

Alright, so I’m going to be really busy this next month (GETTING MARRIED IN 8 DAYS!!!) and won’t be able to supervise the spreadsheets and do my other duties, and I haven’t talked with all the rankers, but I feel like they’re getting as tired of this game as I am with them. You guys all do nothing but complain. Just like my soon-to-be mother-in-law when I showed her the flower girl's dress.

I’ve also decided to change the system up, and I can do that. Because it’s my spreadsheet. If you don’t like it, go start your own 9 month long activity in your own sub!! (you realize that’s like, if I got pregnant when we first started this activity, I WOULD HAVE A BABY RIGHT NOW? THAT IS HOW MUCH OF A COMMITMENT THIS HAS BEEN & YOU ALL ARE HORRIBLE BABIES!!)

First change: Instead of dragging the game out any longer, my plan is to just get it all done with as quickly as possible. That way you guys have ALL MONTH to complain and I won’t need to deal with you anymore! (I’ll be busy with my NEW HUSBAND anyway!)

Second change: I know one of your FAVORITE COMPLAINTS is how arbitrary the ranker’s cuts have been at times, since ‘literary merits’ is a vague and confusing. So it’s about time to change that up.

The top 8 will instead be ranked on their SEXUAL MERITS! Nothing vague about that!

Hopefully they see this in time and get their ranks up. You have 24 hours, guys! [Maybe you’ll be on the ball better than my bridesmaids...]. Otherwise I’ll probably just post them all myself! (Don’t worry, I’M USED TO DOING EVERYTHING MYSELF!)

And if I do have to do a write-up it will be officially, because it’ll be in the spreadsheet too. Because I can do that, since, like I said, it’s my spreadsheet.

I think this will be a very good system, and will really improve the game. I hope you guys enjoy complaining about this new system as much as you have the old one! Because THAT IS APPARENTLY ALL YOU WANT TO DO! BE WHINY BABIES!!

I don’t have time to put together a betting form for this month either (I’LL BE BUSY BEING MARRIED!), so just like. I don’t know. Post your rank of the final 8 characters in the comments below, and I will figure out what to do with that later. (I’ll probably just ask my new husband :D!!)

#Hogwarts: A History

Hermione: "Aren't you two ever going to read Hogwarts: A History?"

Ron: "What's the point? You know it all by heart, we can just ask you."

— Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley[src]

Hogwarts: A History, also known as Hogwarts, A History, is a book concerning Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and its history that was written by Bathilda Bagshot[1]. It was Hermione Granger's favourite book and she often referred to this book on many things concerning Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Three of the things that are frequently brought up are the Great Hall's enchanted ceiling that shows the weather outside, the fact that you cannot apparate or disapparate on Hogwarts grounds and the fact that electronic devices do not work within the grounds.

A copy was seen on a windowsill in Hogwarts in 1991. The book was also very popular in Harry Potter's second year at Hogwarts, when every copy was checked out of the library due to the reopening of the Chamber of Secrets. This caused Hermione great frustration, as despite her fondness for the book, she had left it behind that year due to lack of space because of the many texts assigned by Gilderoy Lockhart. However, Hermione shows slight frustration with the book when scathingly renaming the book in her fourth year because it does not mention the use of house-elves at Hogwarts, even going so far as to suggest a couple of alternative titles for it: A Revised History of Hogwarts and A Highly Biased and Selective History of Hogwarts Which Glosses Over the Nastier Aspects of the School.

In 1997, Hermione considered this book as she was sorting supplies for their mission to find Horcruxes. It was one of the books she decided to bring with them, stating that she "wouldn't feel right" if she didn't have it.

The book's original hand-written manuscript is stored in one of the Hogwarts Library's annexes, and can be only read by special appointment. However, students and staff may admire its ornate cover from a distance.[2]

#Known information

Hermione Granger often quotes from this book. Some of the things she learns about Hogwarts from the book are that:

• The ceiling of the Great Hall is bewitched to look like the outside sky.[3]

• Wizards and witches cannot Apparate or Disapparate to, or from within, Hogwarts.

• There supposedly existed a Chamber of Secrets within the school. [dabu's note: Wow! What an interesting rumor! I'd have forgotten that one!]

• Hogwarts is hidden to Muggles. If a Muggle looks at it, they see an old ruin with a sign saying: "DANGER, DO NOT ENTER, UNSAFE".

• In 1792, when a cockatrice went loose during one of the Triwizard Tournament tasks, the heads of the three schools, including one from Hogwarts, were injured by the deadly creature.

• Muggle technology, such as mobile phones and laptops, cannot be used within the grounds of Hogwarts.

• Boys are not allowed in the girls' dormitories; if they try to enter the stairs turn into a slide.[4]

#Information known not being included

• The presence of house-elves working at the school.

• The Sorting ceremony, or at least not explict details of it, as Hermione Granger was unaware of what the ceremony entailed beforehand despite reading the whole of the book.

• It is unlikely that the Room of Requirement is mentioned, otherwise Hermione Granger and not Dobby would have suggested using this room for use by Dumbledore's Army.

#Behind the scenes

In Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (video game), a man called Chroniculus Punnet is said to be the author of the book. However, a later film prop identifies the author as Professor Garius Tomkink. Neither of these are canon, as both the books and The Wizarding World of Harry Potter state that Bathilda Bagshot wrote it. It is possible that Punnet and Tomkink wrote particular parts of the book, though.

The cover shows the Astronomy and Central towers of Hogwarts as they are seen in the films. J. K. Rowling was asked in an interview if Harry and Ron would ever read the book. She replied: "Never. It’s a gift to me, because all my exposition can be dressed up as, 'When are you going to read it?' So Hermione fills in the reader as well, so I could never let them read it."[5]

So that she can rank above that scarlet woman Hermione Jean Granger!!! How dare Hermione toy with Harry's feelings so?

CAUTION: WORD VOMIT INCOMING

It feels a little bit odd to be using a Resurrection Stone on Sirius, especially after reading a write-up that was as complimentary towards him as Bison’s (and, really, it was spectacularly well-written). At this stage of the Rankdown, we aren’t stoning characters because another ranker has a vendetta against them. We aren’t stoning characters to bump them up dozens and dozens of slots. We’re stoning, or at least I’m stoning, because I firmly believe that Sirius deserves a slot in the hallowed ground of the Final Eight of this initial Rankdown. Yes, Bison more than did him justice in her write-up, and I’m going to use a lot of what he said as a jumping-off point for mine. I just think his time should come in April, not March.

Sirius Black is not a perfect person by any stretch of the imagination, and he was never written to be the perfect godfather. I feel like most of the people reading this know this, but it’s important to remember that even Sirius doesn’t think he’s a perfect person. Twelve years of solitary confinement in Azkaban does wonders for your powers of introspection, granted, but he had more than ample opportunity to reflect on his flaws and how he wound up at that point. The result of that is his frenzied, impassioned performance in the Shrieking Shack, where he reveals to Harry his idea to use Peter as Lily and James’s secret keeper. The words he chooses give a much deeper insight into his psyche than any of his knife wielding-attacks or vehement protestations that came before (and many of them that came after):

“Harry...I as good as killed them.”

“I’m to blame, I know it.”

“I realized what Peter must’ve done...what I’d done…”

Sirius suggested his grand secret keeper change plan to James, which James accepted, because James and Sirius trusted each other to the absolute hilt. The genesis of his scheme? Pure arrogance. Young, confident, cocky, carefree Sirius tried to bluff Tom Riddle, likely the greatest Legilimens in wizarding Britain at the time. He thought it was the “perfect plan”...and it very, very directly resulted in his best friend’s death. Considering Sirius’s streak of self-destructive behaviour, and his immediate attempt to distraughtly corner Peter Pettigrew in a street full of Muggles (because we can’t forget that Sirius instigated that confrontation, in that location, no matter the result), spending over a decade being sapped by the Dementors may have saved him from a more permanent fate. Of course, when locked alone with his thoughts, the guilt, the regret, the self-hatred, and the wrath had a chance to crystallize into something much greater, and much more concrete. It was his mistake, his mistake alone, and there was no way to undo it. Thanks to the Dementors, he had a chance to relive his trauma, his great mistake, every single day.

Why do I bring this up? Because Sirius is a character who is majorly shaped by his experiences, and this was the biggest and most traumatic of them all. Every single decision his character makes can be traced back to the called bluff and the ensuing twelve years. He is unable to bring James back, but as Bison made reference to in her write-up, there’s a living, breathing carbon copy clone of him wandering the halls of Hogwarts and blundering into danger. Young Sirius lived his life with a devil-may-care attitude; he plastered Muggle car models over his Pureblood walls, tried to prank his enemy with a fully grown werewolf (and never really felt bad about it), creating a freaking flying motorcycle, and thought he could outsmart the sharpest wizard short of Dumbledore. He lost it all, and he resorted back to his white hot passion to find revenge, but when he lays eyes on Harry, he finds a purpose and way to atone for his error. Old Sirius is still reckless, still hyper-confident, still arrogant, still a bit of a bully, but he’s no longer care-free. Every single action after meeting Harry in the flesh points to a man who would do absolutely anything to protect the last remnant of his friend. And after twelve years hidden away in a cell with his emotions preyed on and completely starved of any form of love or companionship, who can blame him for immediately forming an impossibly deep connection with the one person who reminded of what he’d lost?

Bison made reference to Sirius being visible, in the flesh, for very very few scenes, yet making such an indelible impact on people. The reason he feels so present to us is because he feels so present to Harry, and the reason he feels so present to Harry is because he doesn’t allow himself to slip out of his presence. One of the ways JKR proves it is by surrounding the story with objects that specifically hearken to his presence. Harry doesn’t just receive mere owls from Sirius, he receives brightly coloured tropical birds. Sirius doesn’t give him a book for Christmas, he gives him a knife. After Sirius’s death, he carries that shard of mirror around with him everywhere. Heck, in the phrase “Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs,” Padfoot is always directly next to Prongs and the only name starting with the same letter, which can’t be a coincidence and only highlights Sirius’s closeness to his father.^1 When we’re deluged by these symbols, we see a man who is making an effort, and when he makes the extraordinary step of fleeing his tropical haven for a dangerous cave in Hogsmeade, he proves this even further. What gets me about these gifts is that they show an understanding of Harry that’s far greater than that of even his closest friends, which is interesting because Sirius barely knows Harry; I get the sense that he chose gifts James would treasure and assumed, like father, like son. Harry uses that knife significantly more than all of Ron’s and Hermione’s gifts to him, combined, not to mention the Firebolt (not just any other broomstick, but a freaking Firebolt).

When Sirius isn’t imprinting himself in Harry’s life through presents and letters (and oh, those letters, full of advice that Sirius never got from his own father), he’s doing so viscerally and physically, in the typical Padfoot manner. Funnily enough, some my favourite Sirius-protects-Harry moments come when Sirius is in his canine form, because it shows that despite losing his human brain and the majority of his rational processing^2 , his instincts of Gryffindorian atonement still shine through. The second Cornelius Fudge intimated that Harry was, well, fudging, Sirius bared his teeth at him, a faster reaction than even Harry himself. When Sirius is human and in Dumbledore’s study, however, we get an echo of his reaction post-James; his face is white and gaunt, his hands are shaking, and most importantly, we see him putting the blame on himself again:

I knew -- I knew something like this-- what happened?

This, to me, is that starkest sign of how Harry has become Sirius’s goal. Sirius Black, confident braggadocio, is shaking. Sirius Black, egotistical knob, is blaming himself for something he wouldn’t have been able to prevent. In my eyes, at least, he was seeing the last time he failed a man he thought of as family.^3

But, of course, Sirius is still Sirius. For as much as he’s serving out this redemptive goal he’s sworn himself to, he can’t erase his base nature. This is what elevates him from a Top 20-ish father figure, to a Top 4, impossibly complex, super flawed character. He goes deeper and deeper into the bottle of firewhiskey and grows more and more stir-crazy from his isolation,^5 which dredges up all of his neuroses and amplifies all of his instincts. For as much as he cares about Harry, he can’t stop seeing that James overlay,^4 and he keeps projecting his experiences of James onto Harry. He snaps at Harry when he won’t perform the kind of reckless stunt James would do and sneak away for a Hogsmeade meeting. He sneaks out of the house as a dog to King’s Cross, because James would have found it fun. Throughout Order of the Phoenix, he is an inflating balloon ready to burst, and when he bursts from the pressure, he dies, bested right after a classic Sirius taunt to an (in his mind) overmatch adversary.

Here’s what gets me. James trusted Sirius to the hilt, as mentioned above, and this trust led to James’s death. Harry, however, did not trust Sirius to the hilt. He didn’t open the mirror, and it led to Sirius’s death. And yet, post-mortem, Padfoot’s lessons live on inside Harry, and his actions and efforts continue to pay it forward. This, more than anything, is what contributes to his indelible impact. We’re never allowed to forget what he’s done.

The above may seem like an epic amount of word vomit, and it really isn’t as structured a write-up as I’d like it to be (much less prompt), but I hope I’ve captured a bit of why I think Sirius is so great. He is, as Bison said, a bad-ass motherfucker, as loyal and dedicated as he is petulant and reckless. He is defined by his actions, which have brought an unconscionable amount of pain and horror on the world, but moreso on himself. He’s a really fascinating, morally grey character. I think there’s more to say about him in April.

^1 Fun thing I just noticed that I may expand into a future post in the Great Hall during text-only week or some other shenanigans: the order of the four Marauders directly coincides with the magnitude of suspicion heaped on each of them during the First Wizarding War. Moony was by far the most suspected due to his furry little problem (which breaks my heart, and I’ll get into more on his post), Wormtail was less trusted than the stalwart Padfoot, and Prongs was the one who absolutely could not be the rat, because Prongs was the known target.

^2 At least, that’s what I think. I really, really want to delve more into the psyches of Animagi-as-animals. How much do they retain of themselves, and how much is modified? We have Sirius’s assertion that his brain was simpler as a dog for the Dementors to go off of, but I feel like there’s a ton more to be said about it.

^3 Off topic, but Dumbledore has a line in that scene that is absolutely stellar, foreshadowing-wise.

“No spell can reawaken the dead,” said Dumbledore heavily.

Like, damn, Dumbledore. When we learn about his laments over Ariana and his playing with the cursed Stone, this feels ten times heavier.

^4 I do disagree with Bison about the James line in the Department of Mysteries, though. I find it really thickly laid-on, beats the symbolism over our heads with a sledgehammer, and kind of wrecks Sirius’s character.

^5 I would bet that a lot of the worst memories that Sirius had dredged up again and again and again by the Dementors in Azkaban took place in that very same Grimmauld Place house. In Azkaban, he was alone and stuck with his thoughts, nightmares, and guilt. At 12 Grimmauld Place, he was (mostly) alone and stuck with his thoughts, nightmares, and guilt. The most major difference would have come in dietary plans. Is it any wonder that Padfoot was constantly itching to escape?

Character name: Harry Potter

Character bio: http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Harry_Potter

Harry Potter! The boy who lived come to die. Struck down twice by various rankers Voldemort, and both times resurrected. Unfortunately, he cannot escape his final brush with death.

I want to start off by saying that I like Harry. I REALLY do. I like bright-eyed, inquisitive Harry in book 1. I like suspicious Harry in book 2. I like reckless Harry in book 3. I like scared shitless, defensive Harry in book 4. I like PTSD, defiant Harry in book 5. I like stupid, lucky Harry in book 6. And I like Harry who’s just wingin’ it in book 7. I even like strong, wise Harry in the epilogue. How is that for an unpopular opinion? Harry SHOULD be in the Top 8. He absolutely should. The only problem with that is that JKR is so goddamned talented when it comes to characterizations that Harry is just missing the cut-off. Every one of the characters left has beat Harry in some way.

Harry is not leaving because he’s not relevant, or complex, or characterized, or unlikeable. Harry is leaving because if I gave all the remaining characters points for how well they scored in those categories, Harry would score a 98/100, and the rest of them would be at 99. I just wrote 6 freakin’ pages on how great of a character he is, but I’m going to scale it down for you guys. Check out the write-ups for Harry’s previous cuts by /u/moostronus and /u/SFeagle44 (found here and here respectively).

I am firmly in the “I like Harry” camp. I know there are people that LOVE Harry. That isn’t me. I know there are people that HATE Harry. That definitely isn’t me. I think he’s an alright guy. I don’t think we would ever be friends just because our personalities would clash. He’d be like, “GUYS WE’VE GOT TO GO THROUGH THIS TRAP DOOR AND SAVE THE STONE!” and I’d be like, “Alright, well, you have fun with that. I’m gonna stay in the dorm and not get killed.” But I DO like Harry. It pains me to eliminate him. I can’t put it off any longer. I’m going to take this book-by-book.

Harry enters the wizarding world with fresh eyes. He’s so happy to leave the Dursleys. Finally there are people that like him. It’s absolutely heartbreaking! Whatever sort of annoying snot you think he grew into, Harry in Book 1 is nothing more than a captivated 11-year-old. He already is cool and confident enough to stand up for his new friend of 15 minutes (Ron) when Draco Malfoy comes by and offers to give him a leg up. He immediately dives into this world – the first place he’s ever felt like he belonged – and he is able to pick up on all these details that something is not quite right. Even Harry doesn’t know what isn’t right, but he has some great instincts. And if no one is going to believe him that the stone is in danger, then dammit, he is going to put his OWN life on the line to save it. He discovers it’s none other than Lord Voldemort, and he nearly gives his own life in an attempt to take him down. This is an ELEVEN year old to whom Voldemort is little more than an abstract concept! Yes, he killed his parents, but Harry has only ever heard stories about the darkest wizard of the age. He delayed Voldemort’s return by another 4 years. The balls on this kid! This 11-year-old! Vernon Dursley doesn’t have balls near this size! Dumbledore sums it up best: Harry has outstanding moral fiber.

In the second book, we get a sense of Harry’s thick-headedness. He decides to fly a car to Hogwarts because he panicked. What did he think Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were going to do? They would have noticed that Harry and Ron never came through. Did he think they were going to call it a day and apparate home? “Looks like we’ve done all we can! They’ll figure it out!” Not to mention the owl that McGonagall points out was in Harry’s possession. This highlights that Harry and Ron act but they don’t do a whole lot of thinking, and that makes them great, flawed, interesting characters. That’s why Hermione is such an integral part of the team as well – they all need each other to work together. During the brewing of the Polyjuice Potion, we also learn that within this clan, the ends justify the means. This is particularly interesting because it’s something that Dumbledore discussed with Grindelwald as a boy. I am sure that Harry has his limits (see: outstanding moral fiber), but there are instances when he puts morality aside and does what he needs to do: like when he imperiuses the goblin in Gringotts. We see more of this in later books. Anyway, He and Ron decide to go tell Lockhart what they know, and only once they realize he is trying to flee, they are like, “Welp, if no else is gonna do it, I guess it’s gonna be us again.” Off they go to fight a Basilisk and save Ginny just because it’s the right thing to do. There’s that moral fiber again! Harry sticks to what is right, whether it will give him detention, or get him expelled, or even kill him.

Book 3 introduces us to a Harry that doesn’t just act when others can’t or won’t, but a Harry that has a strong sense of justice as well. He learns how to produce a Patronus, and that’s pretty cool, because Patronuses are ALL about love and good feelings. Harry being able to produce one is just another testament to his passion. Harry doesn’t do things half way (unless it’s Divination homework). When he loves, he loves fully, and it gives his Patronus strength. The thing that is interesting about Book 3 is the changes in opinion Harry has, and what triggers them. He goes from “Some nutcase is trying to kill me? Why would I care?” to “He betrayed my parents! I need revenge!” to “Pettigrew framed Sirius, killed a bunch of muggles, and is all around despicable. Let’s take him to the Dementors.” Think about that for a second, because I think a lot of people fault Harry for it. He wasn’t trying to save Pettigrew’s life – he was trying to inflict the worst thing he could imagine on him. Remember that Harry’s boggart is a Dementor. That’s damn vindictive.

Once we get to book 4, Harry kinda feels like one of us. This is the first time he hasn’t intentionally placed himself in harm’s way, and it’s terrifying for him. He has a bit of a personality shift because we are seeing him out of his own comfort zone. Before he was all “LET’S GET EM!” but in book 4, he doesn’t want to “go get em.” He doesn’t want to lay his life on the line. He knows someone is trying to kill him, and he’s going in blind. The true extent of his instincts is put to the test, and he does remarkably well. Harry has got guts and luck. Not only that, but we see more of his strength of will when Imposter Moody places the Imperius curse on him, and Harry is able to resist. This is going all the way back to book 1 when we see that even as an 11 year old, he had a STRONG sense of who he was. He stood up for Ron who was a decidedly uncool kid.. As if Quirrell, the Basilisk, and a mass murderer weren’t serious enough subject matter for Harry in his younger years, he comes face to face with the “man” that has been trying to kill him for 14 years. He watches his classmate die, talks to echoes of his parents, manages to escape by the skin of his teeth, and discovers that his mentor was an imposter the entire time. He had felt a bond with a terrible, awful human being. It must have made his skin crawl to learn that it was Barty Crouch Jr the entire time.

Book 5 is the one that people always claim is annoying Harry. I used to be in this camp, but let me tell you why I changed my mind: Harry was a 15-year-old kid that watched his classmate die, saw ghostly echoes of his parents, found out almost his entire prior year had been based on the lie by imposter Moody, then he was pretty much patted on the back and sent back to the Dursleys where everyone that knew what he had been through promptly dropped off the face of the Earth. What a nightmare. It’s unbelievable that NO ONE suggested this kid get into some sort of grief counseling immediately. Surely St. Mungos could accommodate him. He dreams about it every night, according to Dudley. He is blaming himself a LOT, and this is a theme that continues through the rest of the series. Just another layer of Harry Potter. We see his defiance and his moral fiber in the face of Dolores Jane Umbridge. He fought her to do what’s right, even at the risk of expulsion. Cedric is dead. Arthur Weasley was attacked. The DA was discovered. All of these are things that Harry tries to shoulder the blame for. Not only that, but he is getting a direct feed to VOLDEMORT’S emotions without even knowing it. If you can’t understand why he was upset with himself and ended up taking it out on the people around him, suffice to say that you have the emotional range of a teaspoon. It takes some time, and Hermione has to come right out and ask Harry to stop biting their heads off, but he eventually starts to relax a bit. Until his “Saving People Thing” leads to Sirius’ death. Harry is such a passionate character, and I think this is a really great and gut-wrenching way to portray it. He is so passionate that the ONLY thing he can feel is his love for Sirius which manifests as grief, and it leaves Voldemort incapable of possessing Harry. He could not bear to be immersed in that feeling. After, I love the scene where Harry destroys Dumbledore’s office. It’s so real. It’s so raw.

Book 6 shows a huge leap in development. Harry is able to deal with his grief in a much healthier way. He feels shame for the way he treated Dumbledore. And he goes right back into his reckless ways, pursuing Draco Malfoy through Diagon Alley, spying on the train, using spells without having any idea what they do. Despite these poor choices, he has matured. The especially interesting dynamic is the friendship growing between him and Dumbledore. Before now, they were fairly close, but in book 6 they truly move from the relationship of student/teacher to friends. They briefly discuss other personal relations. They trust one another. Eventually in book 6, Harry uses Sectumsempra and gets a dose of reality. A lesson that will stick with him for life, I am sure. I am not defending Harry. It was despicable. But it also produced one of the best names in the series: Roonil Wazlib. A testament to how quickly Harry can think on his feet. At the end of the book, Harry breaks off his relationship with Ginny, and she immediately knows why – “It’s for some stupid, noble reason, isn’t it?” Ginny knows Harry just like we do, doesn’t she?

By the time book 7 rolls around, Harry is an old friend. We can generally predict what he is going to do. Book 7 is what brings it all together, except now he feels like a somewhat unstoppable force. You can feel the things he learned through Dumbledore, and it’s obvious that he took his sixth year at Hogwarts very seriously. He absorbed everything he could when he had the chance, and even in the midst of questioning his relationship with Dumbledore, he remains loyal to him up until the very end when he meets him in Kings Cross. Dumbledore’s man through and through.

So why did I type up a blurb on Harry for each book? It has a little something to do with my thoughts working best in a chronological matter, but it’s hugely because Harry is written in such a way that I CAN do this. Harry is a complex character. He grows and develops and reveals more about himself. Every book is a little more than the last. He is great. I am really sorry to see him go, but it is my feeling that the remaining characters are even greater. Goodbye, Harry.

*(minor edits for grammar)

[Full disclosure: I might add more to this post but I want to make sure I get it in before the deadline]

At this point, we’re looking at a lot of fantastic characters. And I don’t want anyone to think that I resurrected Ron simply because he’s a member of the trio and therefore “deserves” to be in the top eight. As we’ve seen from past cuts, being a worthwhile character is about more than just mentions.

Ron is, in my opinion, one of the underrated characters in the books. This is partially due to the films, which essentially cut away many of the things that made Ron a wonderful human being and used them to patch Hermione’s character flaws. I’ve gone into more detail about Movie Ron vs. Book Ron here, but I think the films do have more of an impact on our perception of characters than we’re willing to admit.

The other reason that Ron tends to get pushed aside (both in-universe and within the fandom), is that he’s not obviously special. He’s neither the smartest student in the year nor the boy who defeated Voldemort. He’s just this tall ginger kid with five older brothers and secondhand robes.

Ron arrives at Hogwarts and--not unexpectedly--finds himself in the shadow of his other brothers at Hogwarts. He befriends Harry Potter, who, despite his notoriety, is a modest and normal boy. And after hearing a few of Harry’s stories about the Dursleys and spending time with Harry, Ron sees Harry as just another 11-year-old boy. Unfortunately, others still see his best friend as a novelty, which is a bit tiresome. Though he cares for Harry deeply and knows that Harry doesn’t see him as a sidekick, being physically pushed aside during introductions stings. Being referred to as “Harry Potter’s faithful sidekick” by a professor stings.

But as someone who has lived his whole life being overshadowed by his older brothers and his younger sister, the role of “second-best” is a comfortable one (even if it’s not preferable).

His insecurity is simultaneously his biggest flaw and part of what makes him a good friend to both Hermione and Harry. For the most part, he doesn’t mind supporting them and doesn’t undermine their accomplishments.

He’s mostly comfortable playing second best to Hermione, perhaps because he takes it for granted that trying to compete with Hermione is like trying to compete with Usain Bolt. Though he teases her occasionally, he tells her that she doesn’t need to study because she “already knows everything,” makes it clear that he expects nothing less than 11 O.W.L.s from her, and says that her apparition test was “perfect, obviously.” While it might occasionally sting to be pushed aside in Hermione’s favor, Ron generally doesn’t seem to have the same insecurity when it comes to Hermione.

But with Harry, things are different. Snape (rather cruelly) refers to Ron as “Harry Potter’s faithful sidekick Weasley,” and this isn’t a completely out-of-nowhere assessment. The fact is that Ron spends far more time worrying about Harry’s problems than Harry spends worrying about Ron’s problems. Ron is the one who visits Harry in the hospital wing, talks through issues with him, gives him advice, and even risks his life to help him. And while Ron mostly reconciles himself to this role as Harry Potter’s so-called sidekick, we see it emerge twice in seven years.

I've talked about the GF fight in more detail here, but essentially Harry’s supposed decision not to tell Ron that he was entering into the tournament makes Ron feel though Harry is purposely looking for danger/glory. Harry excluded Ron from the planning and now expects Ron’s unquestioning support, which seems to confirm Ron’s deep dark fear that Harry sees him as a sidekick rather than a friend.

The second is in DH, when Ron argues with Harry because he feels as though they’re not making progress. There’s a really interesting moment where he turns to Hermione and asks her if she’s coming, and when Hermione quickly reminds Ron that “we” said we would stay, Ron says “I get it. You chose him.” Ron and Hermione have spent years worrying about Harry. How can Ron not worry that no matter what he thinks he has with Hermione, his needs will always come second-best to Harry’s needs?

Being friends with Harry Potter is hard. Being friends with Harry Potter means accidentally ingesting love potion meant for your best friend. It means not complaining about your own problems because his problems are objectively worse. It means sticking up for him when he’s unpopular and being ignored when he’s popular. And while Harry is a good person, he’s not always a good friend. He’ll save your life, but he won’t always see your perspective.

In his very well-thought out cut, Moostrous suggests that Ron seems to undergo the same “conquer his fears” arc over the course of each book. However, I think it’s an oversimplification to suggest that Ron is driven by external fears rather than internal insecurity. Ron doesn’t return to the same frightened state at the beginning of each book. If many of his most important acts of bravery come at the end of the year because that’s where the biggest action sequence is.

While Ron does have external fears, he plows into situations with roughly the same level of recklessness courage as Harry.

At the beginning of PS, when Harry reminds Ron that Hermione doesn’t know about the troll, Ron instantly understands what Harry means and agrees. And a few minutes later, he’s throwing a pipe at the troll to distract it. Months later, when Harry makes a speech about how he’s going to stop Snape from stealing the stone or die trying, Ron’s first reaction is to wonder whether the invisibility cloak will cover all three of them. He practically admonishes Harry for thinking they would let him go alone. In OP, he was just as willing to stand up for Harry in September as he was to follow him to the Ministry in June.

In the spider scene in CS, Ron’s only concession to his phobia is a hopeful line about how many there wouldn’t be any spiders to follow. Even when Harry asks whether they should give up after following the spiders for nearly a mile, Ron says “We’ve come this far.” It’s not that Ron isn’t terrified, but him following Harry was never in question. He accepts that this is what they need to do with far more stoicism than most 12-year-old boys.

Both times he fights with Harry, they’re because of personal disagreements, not an unwillingness to fight. He has instinctively offered up his own life in exchange for both Harry (PA) and Hermione (DH).

Outward bravery was never Ron’s problem, it’s the internal insecurities that drag him downward.

When the books begin, Ron steps out from under his brothers’ shadow and into Harry’s. As he gets a little older, he starts to feel unsure about his role in Harry’s life and his own identity. It’s not until DH that he seems to come to terms with who he is and why he’s valuable.

Ron matters because he’s all of us while simultaneously being better than most of us. It’s easy for anti-Ron readers to condemn Ron as weak, selfish, and unworthy of Hermione and Harry’s friendship. How dare he doubt Harry? How dare he succumb to his personal insecurities? Can’t he see the bigger picture?

Ron can be insecure, insensitive and obtuse. He talks with his mouth full and isn’t at the top of the class. He is not perfect.

Over and over again, Ron is faced with a choice between doing what’s right and doing what’s easy. And despite the accusations of laziness and selfishness from his critics, Ron chooses what’s right. Over and over and over and over again. Sometimes he’s jealous. Sometimes he’s obtuse. But I can only hope that someday I can be as brave and loyal and strong as Ron Weasley.