Hello. I am 30 female and I have suffered from depression, anxiety and ocd symptoms since I was 18. Recently, I have been doing better, got a new friend group and generally my life has been going amazing until one of my friends caught me in a lie.

You see, since I was a kid, I have had this habit of lying over small, insignificant things. Harmless lies mostly. Never serious ones. Like having peanut allergy when I don’t, my mother’s career etc. I always knew I did this and I always knew why. In a weird way, I lied to make myself seem more interesting and relate to others.

So my friend caught me lying about taking piano lessons when I was very young and called me out on it. This made me realise I had an embarrassing problem and started therapy. My therapist believes I have histrionic personality disorder but we are on our way to getting the diagnosis.

How do you cope with this? I feel so embarrassed, anxious and depressed. I am scared I’m gonna lose my new friends and that would be the worst bc for a long time I have been on my own.

Colleague (don’t work together just don’t know what word to use here) is causing me so much drama.

I flipped out at her admittedly over text months ago after she knowingly egged me on. She admitted that she knew her opinions on a certain matter irritated me and yet she insisted on sharing these opinions again and again and again.

She believes everyone who doesn’t like her is in love with or obsessed with her. This has mainly been limited to men but it goes as far as reporting her complex’s maintenance worker for staring at her.

Now, as someone who has glared at her angrily after she treated me and told others about how obsessed I was with her, I believe he may have been. She may have insinuated something insane and accusations and pissed this guy off, prompting more negative behavior. I don’t know but that’s what I feel she’s done with me

but she’s a perpetual victim in every sphere of life who cannot shut up about it and is not open to practical steps to resolve issues unless they involve making her look more like a damsel in distress. She talks about her body and hair a lot although mostly negatively except skin and butt which she likes.

She is somehow the most theatrical person i’ve ever met while being the most monotone, smirky smug person i’ve ever met (except when fawning in fake apology where her face is mostly covered by her hands in shock of how she could do such a thing)

Many people are annoyed by how long she’ll overstay her welcome talking about her “dramas” which are somehow incredibly boring.

The whole world suck except when she wants to get close to you, then she’s all about how “different” you are and special intuitive youre an empath etc etc. “You’re not like the rest of them and we have so much deep ish in common” because i’ve had exposure to these people the behavior was an instant red flag and didn’t move me closer to her, which I’m sure pissed her off.

She’s really irritated me today. Is this HPD i’m dealing with?

So I've been looking some info on HPD, and in multiple places seen a lot of people talking about friends and partners with HPD. Some of the common words:

Exhausting. Annoying. Unbearable. Stressful. Frustrating. Needy. Irritating. Dramatic. No boundaries. Manipulative. Abusive. Cut them off. Cut them off. Cut them off.

Maybe I do in fact not deserve love and will end up dying alone after all...

Pandaemonium (PM) is a low moderated server that is inclusive to every mental illness with plenty of interesting characters, fun bots, "interesting conversations" and more, most rules are not enforced and most bans are not permanent including mutes and time outs, and we would love it if you joined. This server is 100% NSFW enjoy your stay and have fun.

https://discord.gg/rPXRQgBz

I’m curious about a few things. Does anyone here have a history of cheating, or do you just flirt but that’s the furthest you’ll go? Is there a certain type of person you’re attracted to? Also does anyone love bomb?

i've spent a few hours looking for shit on pubmed but had absolutely no luck

is there any well cited research? i want a proper solution to my problems not bullshit therapy

Hello!

I don't have HPD, but I am working on a project for my social psychology course that will describe how Cluster B personality disorders can warp people's perception of themselves and others.

Unfortunately, it seems like HPD is not commonly researched, and I am experiencing difficulty in my search for information. I did not expect this to be so difficult, especially considering that this information came much more easily with NPD and BPD, which are common comorbidities that share many symptoms.

I did find an intriguing few articles that describe how self-monitoring, the practice of observing others' behaviors and then adapting one's own to achieve a desired impression, appears to be heightened in HPD. One in particular gives examples of individuals who role play, adopting roles to gain attention, laughs, etc., calling these actions "As-If" behaviors. However, this one article seems to be the only one I can find on that subject. There are more articles on something called histrionic self-presentation, but I cannot tell if this term is detached from HPD.

I was wondering if anyone could confirm this idea of histrionic self-presentation and perhaps direct me to some more sources on the subject. Looking over some comments and posts made by people with HPD, this does appear to be a common thing, but then again, information is limited, and I do not want to provide false information.

Additionally, I was hoping to see if anyone could recommend sources or give anecdotes that describe how people with HPD can perceive themselves and others differently.

Thank you!

Lately, I've been feeling this way and I'm trying to figure out what's causing this.

That deep ache It talks so loud Please someone Someone see me

Please something Someone Full that dark void Help me

Translated: Hello everyone

At work I overshare my problems with colleagues. At a crisis meeting with HR, I was accused of things that were not true. I feel stigmatized because of past events. On the other hand, there is actually the basic problem: I write messages that are too long and instead of saying "There's a family emergency, so the assignments didn't get done", I share half the life story of the family member concerned.

I had said with great conviction: This and that is not true! Then I look at the message history and see: Yes, I actually wrote this message. I wasn't lying, I'll probably be accused of that soon. I simply didn't have this and that message in mind at that moment.

Back to the point: this has to stop! Any tips?

Background: I have halved the dose of neuroleptics. Feelings and creativity are back to an unprecedented extent. Work performance not affected at all, even improved. But I am increasingly not behaving in a socially acceptable way without realizing it.

At the same time, I don't think these incidents are on a scale that would justify an increase in neuroleptics. Because the feelings and creativity feel SO INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL.

I will share more about this in a separate post.

Hello everyone

(Translated with deepL)

I'm trying to be brief, which is very difficult for me in my current mental state/phase.

• I am constantly besieging those around me with my problems
• I have started a kind of emotional diary for self-regulation. Initially, this helped a lot. Now it looks like this:
• When I'm around people, it's all about me. When I'm alone, it's all about me.
• I write a lot of lyrics and try my hand at rap. That does me good. But here too, it's all about me. "I'm such a poor guy, all that self hate, look at me". "I'm such a interestig personality, look at me".

I can make up my mind: So, now don't draw attention to yourself for an hour. And then I'll do it again in a few minutes. I need a free time project that has nothing to do with me.

Question: Would anyone like to give me an assignment? An incentive for a project? Preferably of a lyrical nature. A short story about xyz, for example.

Thanks in advance for any help!

I know y'all are gonna understand this... but do you prefer being absolutely insufferable especially when triggered so you don't have to feel rejected?

Hello! I've been working on a comic for a couple years and recently became curious about HPD, as I realized that one of the characters may fit some of the criteria, and could potentially fit more after some editing. I've been doing research on HPD and trying to figure out what edits I will need to make to his character for an accurate representation; I was wondering if there is anybody diagnosed with HPD who would be willing to look over some parts of my script as a sensitivity reader? I've compiled only the episodes/scenes which feature the character I'm considering HPD into a google doc, so it's not overly long! Thank you for reading :)

Hi guys, I’m writing a big paper for school on the relation between social media and histrionic personality disorder. If it’s possible, I’d like to speak to someone who is a diagnosed histrionic and who would like to answer a couple of questions for me. Not only questions but information is also welcome.

hi so i’m 17 and have been presenting with a lot of histrionic traits, that even with years of therapy i haven’t managed to get a hold on, i’m worried that because im so young if i go on without treating them they will get worse and i will lose a lot of people close to me (my bf has already told me how hard it is to be with me because of these traits)

basically i want to bring up these traits with my psychiatrist and ask for a possible diagnosis so that people will take my issues more seriously and i can possibly get more specialised help, however im scared of being seen as someone who did one google search and self diagnosed when in reality i’ve talked to multiple professionals (who sadly can’t diagnose me) and they agree i show a lot of the symptoms. does anyone have an idea on how to convey my serious concerns about the possibility of these symptoms escalating and how to be taken seriously for them?

Hi! I'm a writer who does not have HPD. However, I am still trying to accurately portray a male character with this disorder through a sympathetic worldview. I'm finding its a lot more hard to find first-hand accounts from actual HPD people. Finding resources by people with DID, OCD and even NPD/BPD/ASPD is wayyy easier (trust me, i've done it!!).

Almost everything online is by a therapist or a clinic website. I have a few dozen forum posts in my sources from here and other platforms but that's about it. Whenever I write about a mental health condition, I always go straight to people who actually have it, and then scientific literature. But there aren't any youtube channels i can find or blogs/websites made for and by people with it. Most of the non-scientific stuff is like "how to stay away from awful toxic hpd people" ?????

Is HPD really this overlooked? Is this just a coincidence? I seriously can't find anything concrete on HPD in men either. Or the specific kinds of trauma that lead to the development. Or how close friends/family interact with loved ones with HPD.

This might just be me being too hasty (i've only been thoroughly gathering sources for a few days now). But with literally any other disorder i've written this way sources pop up way faster.

Also, I really want to communicate with people. In a strange way I feel like I've met my tribe. I want to hear and understand your experiences. Available to talk

Peace Everyone, im having a glass shatter moment realizing how attention seeking I've been. I've had so many people tell me about my traits, but it's like I couldn't hear them or believe them. Like how was I so oblivious. Im not sure if I have the will power to go to therapy for this. I want to attempt to change this behavior on my own. I just don't know what to say, and when to say it! Im always off timing. And also always very damn horny. Im trying to quit masturbating. Let me see how this plays out

i want to see if this could be accurate

my HPD traits i have along with my bpd is mostly me wanting to be the worst and most mentally ill and thats how i get my attention most of the time. last year i had an eating disorder that i made worse on purpose once i heard my siblings had them too and wanted to be the worst and i was to where i was put in a residential facility- it was all for attention. i also hyperfocus on my physical appearance and if no one acknowledges it i literally get suicidal. i want to make my scars more noticeable so that people can question me- i dont want to be nurtured i want the attention. I become sexual just for attention, even though im a lesbian i still let a man do what he wants. i have a huge need to be noticed and when i am, i boast about it. I seem to always try to get peoples attention by showing off my stuff or trying to fish compliments too. i just want the attention for being different and unique and i get highly competitive if anyone else tells me they are also struggling, i also have very low empathy and will not care about your struggles or problem. i will try to find ways to “beat you” at being sick. if i dont get attention then i dont exist, its very simple. instead of looking theatrical, sometimes i try to make myself look like im more depressed or be quiet on purpose just so people will think about me, and that i can be seen as different. with my physical appearance, i try so hard to be the best looking one there and get insecure very easily if i see someone else prettier and more sociable than me. this probably ties in with both bpd and hpd but my sense of identity feels super shallow. i also think me and a new person i met are automatically best friends because we text all day, and i think of everyone that way (at least new people) and it can be heart-shattering sometimes. i need instant gratification always and will do anything to get it. my goal is to get attention from being unique and different and being the worst.

might be more but i cant think of anything right now.

I ask because I used to yap about myself 24/7 to my husband and beg for attention and now we barely talk in comparison. I'm thinking it might be because I got complaints about talking about myself, maybe I just couldn't not talk 'badly' if I did so I chose to just not. Now I mostly attention-seek and such on the internet and with other irl people. Just wondering if this is relatable to anyone.

HPD was one diagnosis my psychiatrist was looking through as something possible for me. Today we know I've got other two PDs, but that's not the important thing now. I genuinely want to know more about this, so if you care to answer: what were some of the first sintoms you or another people notice? And also why is this disorder the less known when talking about cluster B?

I’m new to hpd and other cluster b disorders so pls go easy on me but I relate to so much of it. I have a constant need and addiction for sex, so much that I will manipulate to get it and hook up with people I’m not attracted to just to feel attractive in a purely physical sense. Is any of this inherently hpd coded or am I in the wrong sub lol

Don't get me wrong, I've had a good amount of lost friendships, but I often think about how long some people have stuck with me despite my behaviour and the probably annoying ways I would often converse. Like, what did they see in me? How did they benefit? Did they just feel sorry for me? Was I just socially persistent enough? For some it makes a bit more sense where they were already similar enough to me on those scores or were there to see me when I was improving, but others just confuse me.

Trigger warning for self harm

Disclaimer: I am not diagnosed with HPD and am too ashamed to discuss the traits I show with a therapist or psychiatrist. Last night I did something I had never done before and I feel strange about it. Self harm has been more of an internal form of gratification and attention seeking for me, but I don’t usually outright display it because I know it can make people uncomfortable. I was having a breakdown while on a call with someone and started cutting while talking to them. Their concern made me want to do it more. I didn’t outright admit I was or show them, but I couldn’t help but feel happy and euphoric about it. I’m aware I’m in a more so fragile mental state as of now, but that concern and gratification I got makes me want to do it more. However, it also makes me feel like a shitty person. I was a bit disgusted with myself when I realized what I was doing and stopped. I was still euphoric while talking to them afterwards because of their concern and worry. I don’t know what to do about these feelings. I’ve been clean of self harm for a bit, so this is mildly concerning that I’ve found a legitimate external source of gratification for doing it.

I'm not diagnosed with HPD or plan to be, just relate heavily to histrionic traits.

I've had this sense of "there's something wrong with me" recently, and have often had this sense for many, many years, in fact I think this sort of rumination might be a problem of its own for me. It's not just histrionic traits, there's other things (which is partly why I don't want to be diagnosed, because it doesn't cover the full complexity of my situation) but they're a big part of it. I've definitely experienced certain things as a kid and throughout my life that would impact me psychologically, but the symptoms of this have been with me before any of those that I can remember. I just wish that there was something to explain it that isn't just "you're inherently like this" because then I could have a better form to hypothetically go back to or that could've been preserved.

I've been doing a lot of digging into the different cluster-b personality disorders (I'm NPD fyi) and one of the common threads seems to be a lack of a sense of self originating from childhood trauma. Do you guys feel this way? That your need to act out stems from an unstable sense of self?

Bonus question:

Do you feel guilty when someone helps you?

hi so i was diagnosed with having bpd for a while now and recently it was pointed out to me that i could also have hpd but not sure if its traits or not. can anyone who has hpd look at how i relate to the symptoms and tell me if i most likely have the full disorder or traits and shouldn't discuss further and leave it at that bc i feel like im not expressing myself quite frankly when i get asked if these symptoms relate to me and i think they ended up being dismissed as traits bc the mental health professional which im seeing isnt that knowledgeable or maybe it's my black and white thinking, thinking that.

1. uncomfortable when not the center of attention; for me that looks like wanting people to acknowledge my appearance but not have the spotlight on me as i get overwhelmed easily however i enjoy getting physical attention or people looking at me as im very insecure

2. seductive or provocative behavior; i talk to a lot of men online sext with them and stuff always have since i was 17. I'm currently 21 and still do that although now i do it for money i still manage to sext with men for free be i imagine they're my ex and it helps fill the void ig of always craving that romantic/ sexual relationship

3. shifting and shallow emotions; my emotions shift when i get triggered only and overall i either don't feel much/ very surface level or i feel intensely

4. uses appearance to draw attention; i care a lot about my appearance i always have to be the prettiest or i feel rily down about myself

5. impressionistic and vague speech; i find myself always being lively and animated be idk how to interact with people without being that way and after a while they catch on that im not doing that well cuz i can't keep it up for long and then ill go back to my lively self. im very superficial with people i don't let them get to know me im a very private person.

6. dramatic or exaggerated emotions; i feel things deeply so it might look dramatic but sometimes especially recently i found myself craving that attention of me wanting to be sicker and exaggerating how i feel at times so people can feel bad for me even if for example i dont feel that bad i just wanna mention it to my close friend.

7. 7. consider relationships more intimate than they are; i get attached easily and i used to feel like if i hang out with a person a couple of times they'll love me right away and we'll be besties but i learned the hard way that wasn't the case like a year ago lol and now i feel very detache~ from people if anything until i dont and i fee really attached.

i also wanna point out that i wanna be loved so badly by a romantic partner have somebody's full attention to the point where we only have each other. i crave external validation as that "reflects" my self worth for me

please be kind and share your thoughts respectfully.

to people who have been professionally diagnosed, how was the process for you? im worried that my psychiatrist will think im 'crazy' or 'seeking attention' if i tell her i think i have a personality disorder. how did it go over for you guys?