He (suspected hpd) always breaks up with me to go on Tinder and Lavoo only a few days later and writes cringe stuff on there in his bio, like „I can make you feel things“ nd‘ shit‘ only for him to get 0 likes and then come back to me. He even wanted to go to a hooker on OF but she didnt even read his message. He did this the 2nd time now because my attention is not enough for him. Hes also a pathological liar and I dont know how to be there for him. I dont even know what it feels like to have this disorder. Does anyone have advice for me? He said he loves me but always breaks up and comes back again… its HURTFUL and I know it stems from his childhood trauma nd I wanna love him and be there for him but I dont know how.

So I’ve had this friend for a couple years now and for the past few months been causing some problems. I talked to my therapist about the situation and bottom line is she thinks she either likes to lie or there is a possibility she has cluster b disorder/traits. I’ve caught her in a few lies or half truths recently about people I’m close to and I really am not sure how to handle this. She has been really supportive of me but I always feel there is an alterior motive. Main reason for this she is very attractive and kind of hangs out with guys that will validate her. I try to be blunt and not do this. Whenever she does something wrong she acts like she doesn’t think it’s a big deal or I’m overreacting. I feel I’m a pretty stable person on my own and I’m looking at this very logically. How should I handle this, I don’t know if I should confront her, try to get her to come to terms with her character flaws or propose the idea of her seeing a psychiatrist.

Don't worry so much about the fact that you are mentally deregulated and that your cognitive hardware is fundamentally flawed....this flaw can be exploited in the right way with the right software measures .

THINK ABOUT THIS : Your HPD is like a Demon you can control. Live a normal life and then when it comes to parties, flirting, doing presentations, public speaking, writing, DANCING..........JUST UNLEASH THE BEAST, LET IT COMPLETELY TAKE OVER and totally DOMINATE the social encounter. I guess you have to practice modesty and not end up STRAINING relationships. Direct the Demon towards BUILDING relationships. With great power comes great responsibility. Just stop cognitively masturbating all the time and have these fake scenarios in your head, reject them. The Demon itself is not helped by the fake scenarios, when you are in the moment, our natural charm will hex anyone.

I have recently been diagnosed and yes...it's hard to let go of the Demon.....I don't think any of us want to....

TLDR : What is your experience with compartimentalizing the HPD Demon in situations it loves the most aka out of the ordinary social events ( we live for that 2% anyway haha)

I've heard around that histrionics share similar symptoms with BPD and can have their own type of favorite person. Is this true and if so, what term can I use for this favorite person (if there is one at all)? I have HPD and I'm struggling with obsession towards one of my friends

I'm constantly jealous and envious of people and it sucks. I even feel jealous when someone is talking to someone whos not me cause their attention is not on me for a second. I feel like a really bad person for this and want to change it. Any advice?

I hate it so much. I hate being jealous all the time because other people get attention. I hate that I'm stuck in treatment center after treatment center because I feel like thats the only place where I get attention. I hate being in unhealthy relationships all the time. How can I learn to stop needing so much attention? I feel empty everytime I'm alone cause theres no attention being placed on me but I also hate being around people cause pleasing them all the time is exhausting. I just want to be content with myself but I can't. I feel like talk therapy doesn't help at all and my therapist gave up on trying it on me (we're doing neurofeedback instead) but I want to do talk therapy cause I get the attention there.

(image by dissociativedaydreamer on insta, not mine)

I got diagnosed with adhd, hpd and bpd at 19. Then the hpd diagnosis got cancelled at 20. In the meantime I also got diagnosed with ptsd. Now at almost 23 my new therapist at ptsd inpatient treatment is doubting my ptsd diagnosis and says its all just mislead bonding experiences and she wants to diagnose me with light bpd with hpd accentuation. Shes also doubting my adhd diagnosis and says it could be just attention seeking behavior. I feel so sick and invalidated. I don't know how to tell my loved ones about my potential hpd diagnosis because I know they'll treat me like a monster. I hate it so much. I also don't feel like it fits cause I like being the center of attention in groups but hate to be on stage etc. Idk. She says its mostly because I overcompensate and perform all the time without being authentic and because I have exaggerated psychosomatic symptoms. I don't know how to deal with all of this. How did you come to terms with this diagnosis? To me its just proof that I am too much but never enough

https://www.reddit.com/r/Antipsychiatry/s/PlZjqgEJKx

I don’t mind people snooping through my post history as it’s a lot to explain but I was raped last year, kept it to myself for a long time until having an abortion which triggered a lot of PTSD symptoms. I went to the emergency department for feeling suicidal where police told the doctor on duty several lies about me - I’m taking legal action about this but I still haven’t sorted my medical issues. Where I live the standard protocol for mental health issues at the emergency department is that you’re seen by a duty doctor first, then they get an actual psychiatrist down to speak to you. This didn’t happen in my case, a psychiatrist had a call with the duty doctor AFTER I’d left who then decided I’m “histrionic”. I’ve never even met this psychiatrist and they decide I’m just an attention seeking liar.

I just wanted to ask for people who were query/diagnosed with this in the UK, what specific criteria do you have to meet? What kind of formal assessment/interview did you go through? I’m unsure if the psychiatrist who wrote this about me used the DSM or ICD.

Amazing. And my psych is digging to see if I have Bipolar 2 hhhh

So im looking for tips on how to help deal with criticism, not being the centre of attention, and feeling ignored. All these things literally make me feel like actual garbage and I physically can not take any form of rejection:) when I’m not getting the good attention I want I tend to do extremely stupid things which im trying to control and avoid right now so has anyone got some useful / helpful advice please

Hi. I, 19F, was recently diagnosed with hpd and at first I didn't understand it, but now looking at my past behavior and childhood it makes so much sense. I'm glad I finally know what's wrong with me, but I don't know what to do from here. I find life extremely boring and constantly just want to use sex, alcohol, drugs, wtv, to make it feel like it's worth living. Also it being my freshman year at college, it is extremely easy to access all of those. I also now feel like my entire life and personality has been a lie.

Tbh I am constantly performing for others, taking on their interests, and manipulating them to my will. I know that's bad and I know I'm not a great person, but I can't feel any empathy towards anyone. I just don't understand that emotion. I think it's dumb. If someone is sad I get annoyed because after all you only have this one life, so why waste it being sad? Idk what this post is for but I feel like I'm legit losing my mind. I didn't know how I think isn't normal. Doesn't everyone have certain people in their life for certain benefits? I don't understand why someone would take on the responsibility of caring for another person if they weren't benefitting you. I literally have zero idea who I am.

Men are especially interesting to me because honestly they are stupid and so easily swayed. Is that bad? They're entertainment for me and I get them to do what I want. That's not normal?

When I'm with friends and I'm not a part of the conversation I genuinely feel this pain inside of me. I don't act out in ridiculous ways to gain that attention, which I know is a symptom of the disorder, but I certainly fantasize about it. I guess the point of this post is to ask what fulfills people with this disorder because atm, without it i don't know what to do.

I will try to explain my concerns, although I find it hard. My therapist has told me that I have traits of hpd, but it was not a verified diagnosis, since she has told me that only a psychiatrist can do that (in fact I'm going to see one as soon as possible to further understand my situation). However, I looked it up to see the symptoms and I apply to most criterias such as the promiscuity and the power that came from it. I've been doing a lot of sex and felt good about it because I knew that those men were attracted to me, but after years I began to feel a void inside of me because it was meaningless.

Not only that but I was always happy to be the center of the attention, it made me feel alive and yet again, powerful. People has always told me that I was dramatic and for some years I was upset about that, because it was of course in a negative way, but in the last 2 years I sort of reclaimed this word and was very proud to be dramatic and intense in showing my emotions. But, I have started a relationship and I think that is going bad because of these traits. It is very difficult to admit it, not because I am ashamed of my mental health, but because there is this part of me that suffers from taking accountability of my emotions. I tend to be perfect (meaning trying not to hurt others) towards other people, but when someone (in this case my bf) tries to tell me that my pain is taking up our relationship I feel neglected.

In the last few days I've been analyzing myself and my behavior, because he feels exhausted trying to keep it up with me. I am really trying to understand his point of view and I see it actually. I am in this constant need for his validation, love, approval, reassurance and so on. I wanna shine in front of his eyes and I do, because he loves me so much for who I am, but the problem is that sometimes I do not think well of myself so I tend to engage in a negative self-talk. He doesn't blame me, but I need to be responsible for my actions. I wanna know from others personal experience what can I do to improve my relationship. I already see a therapist as I said in the beginning so I'm going to talk about it with her, but what I want right now is someone who not only understands but also can give me practical advices. I really need it because I love this boy, he deserves the world and I don't want to ruin what we have.

Also and most important I want to improve the relationship with myself, because I am tired of being in this never-ending pain cycle. I don't know if it helps to know but I experiment a lot of pain and I feel not capable to say stop to it. When I am at my worst I punish myself in multiple ways: starving, punching my own legs and self sabotaging with my thoughts like "i am not worth of love", "i am a failure" etc. Also I have a past with addictions: sex, alcohol and cannabis. Now I understand that these were coping mechanics to avoid my emptiness and my pain. Thank you in advance.

I’m trying to create a playlist and I was wondering if anyone had songs that relate to HPD/BPD :D

Does anyone know why I do this stupid thing? I have a boyfriend who I love so genuinely that I have changed a LOT. I try not to lie to him ever, I explain myself deeply and honestly, I set boundaries not only for myself but also for him to limit my negative behaviors, and yet…

When a very close friend was extremely excited over someone they barely knew giving them a compliment I had given them, I had an almost NEED to do whatever I could to make them see me in that way again. They told me how the conversations they had with this rando were even more deep than ours, that they had a crush, etc. Within hours, which is fine!

But it was so intense that I almost wanted to blurt out that I was in love with them (not true), instigate SOMETHING nsfw (the idea sickens me now), or something beyond that. After a few hours, that all passed and instead now I’m saddled with a lower opinion of my close friend… Though I am so unsure why.

Does anyone else understand this sort of thing?

I (19m) was told by my psychiatrist recently that he thinks it’s possible that I either have narcissistic personality disorder or histrionic personality disorder, we’ve already established that I have cluster B traits. From what I’ve gathered online it seems that a lot of the symptoms and stories you can read about kind of assume that the subject is female, so I was curious what yalls experiences were with male HPD. I am not attempting to self diagnose, but rather get a better understanding as I look back on my life and attempt to reflect. Thanks!

I have been told by my psychiatrist I might be exhibiting histrionic symptoms. It was uncomfortable hearing that. But I want to know what really differs the personality disorder from everyday life attention need of humans. I mainly know its the suffering of problems with functioning..

But I have already been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, and it seems to be very similar .

For example, I am suggestible because I have a weak sense of self and poor boundaries stemming from borderline. How is HPD different?

For the illness part.. I tend to downplay my symptoms actually. I doctor shop when a new issue or concern comes up. But I dont use illness for attention. I feel like the “illness” symptom can be attributed to medical gaslighting or not being believed. But not histrionic per se, as I actually do get ill and my tests show.

Excessive shallow emotions. Well i know my bpd makes me intense due to strong emotional empathy but shallow to poor cognitive empathy as well as emptiness. Again how is HPD any diferent?

Fleeting moods , opinions, beliefs? How so?

Seduction..well i can relate to that . I tend to be very emotionally promiscuous. But how is that different from borderline idealization and devaluation?

Considering relationships to be more intimate than they are? Could it be attributed to emotional promiscuity, poor boundary setting, and poor social skills instead of hpd?

Tell me your thoughts.

I'm not sure why I can't stop. It feels like I have this image of myself I want everyone to know me by and when I don't live up to it, I just create elaborate lies to tell everyone else as to why I do live up to it. Like it's really hard for me to keep friends because with HPD I'm constantly seeking attention from them which makes them distance themselves, or I get anxious they aren't giving me enough attention and distance myself so I don't feel hurt. But me not having people to hang out with or long-term friendships is something I don't want others to know about me, so I lie to my family and whatever friends I am talking to at the time that I totally have this amazing social life and even come up with names of fake close friends and everything... I also don't feel much romantic attraction to other people so I avidly avoid relationships, but I always lie about talking to or dating someone so people don't know I lack attraction. I never get caught in lies since I always try to make sure they can't be disproven unless someone really pries about it, which no one does. But I do feel really anxious whenever I think about how I have no evidence to prove I'm not lying.

​

After going to therapy for a LONG time I think I have realized how not being myself, even though it gets me attention, I'm never truly going to get my needs for attention/validation/understanding/closeness etc. met if I'm not honest. Because people giving attention to the facade of me is just like them paying attention to someone else, it's never fulfilling. But I don't even know where to start with being honest... I've dug myself so deep into this image of me that it feels like I'd have to start completely over with new friends and acquaintances to be myself without others doubting me. My family doesn't believe me when I try to tell them the truth since they're so used to the fake me. Outside of stopping lying, the HPD has robbed me of a strong sense of identity, so I'm not sure how I'm supposed to act anyway. I feel really lost. I guess this was just a vent but if anyone has a similar situation or any advice then by all means..?

I definitely find my desire for life to be like a play, causes my inner monologue to be like a story. Being inquisitive it feels like a joy to just get lost in thoughts of plays and stories to calm my mind at times. Does anyone else feel this way?

TRIGGER WARNING: brief mention of sh

I have wondered if I have developed HPD since I was emotionally neglected. I have developed social anxiety from my emotional neglect. I am quite shy, so it depends on the situation in which I attention seek. I've seen a lot of articles saying HPD is about taking the spotlight in a middle of a room, but never have I seen anything about anyone with HPD and SAD.

ever since I was younger, I'd wear bandages to get people's attention just so they'd care. I have tried to break bones when I see someone else getting attention, which I supposed led me into sh behaviours. I used to compulsively lie to get people to care. I told everyone I wore glasses - which wasn't true. Whenever I get the attention I crave, the moment that person giving me attention stops it digs me deeper into a hole and makes me feel even worse than before. if my friends are getting attention, expressing any remote feeling towards me I shut down, I internally get filled with jealousy and rejection because I want to be the one getting attention. It sounds so selfish but I cannot bear anyone around me getting more attention than me because I want to be cared about. Probably why I never want to recover from social anxiety, because if there is something wrong with me then someone will care for me. if there is nothing wrong with me there is no reason for anyone to care.

does this sound like HPD?

I'm not exactly sure if this is a hpd or bpd thing since I have both. However, I noticed that when I crave attention and I'm not getting it from my favourite or specific person, I tend to get super triggered and start panicking, having this massive urge to cut them off and block them, hoping that I'll get their attention by them noticing that I cut them off and them being worried so that they chase after me and reach out, giving me attention. Is this an hpd thing or bpd? And does anyone else here tend to do this as well?

So I got a groupchat on insta which I want to add some cluster b peeps to, and could use some more people like me there.

Yesterday I speed-ran getting ready for seven hours to go on a date with a guy I’ve had a crush on for two and a half years, for the first time since then.

We were scheduled for 7:00 and I lived 45 minutes away from the place, so I was about to leave while we were still texting. All of a sudden his name went away on my snapchat and I could no longer find him.

I had some weird hpd-limerence-obsession-esque feelings toward him, he never quite gave me the satisfaction of liking me as much as I liked him, therefore I got obsessed.

After he blocked me I made the decision to get rid of all of the men I was talking to for the sake of approval, attention, and validation. Every last one.

I’m not ashamed to say I threw up. Multiple times. It’s so scary to “heal” the NT way; my life as a histrionic revolves around how pretty and smart men think I am, and how frequently I’m told that I’m such.

No longer chasing and searching for validation, just existing as a human being.

Why should I perform MORE if I don’t even like my audience, anyway?

I've heard from different professionals in person & platforms like YouTube discussing HPD symptoms. Like any Cluster B , it's a spectrum. I'm exhausted from re - explaining it's not a "one size fits all" disorder.

One thing that tends to bother me is hearing professionals say: "HPDs usually have conversations that lack depth." - or something along those lines. Or we tend not to have knowledge to back up whatever it is we're talking about. Excuse me? What? 👁 👄 👁

That couldn't be further from the truth in my case. It doesn't happen as often but just because a person of my interest is discussing something I have little to no background knowledge about doesn't mean I'll sit there & say "oH iTs mY fAvoRitE tEaM bEcAusE tHeiR cOLors aRe bLue & gREen hehe" I may do a quick research in order to maintain their interest in me to keep the conversation going so no one "steals my spotlight" but I wouldn't say something as empty as that. I doubt anyone with HPD truly would but again - I'm only speaking from my personal experiences. I would either do a quick research or stay silent ( as uncomfortable as that is 🫠 )

Or that we talk in "run - off" sentences 🙄 Perhaps some do however I don't. Topics eventually connect together & my "audience" remains engaged.

The point is , not all of us lack depth