I've found that just having an understanding person or people to vent to can be extremely helpful, especially if they can relate themselves. I'll admit I don't vent too often, but when I do, for the moment the weight on my shoulders doesn't feel quite as heavy.

On the other hand, it's not so helpful to have the person I'm grieving brought up every time I interact with certain people. Sometimes I'm just trying to have a good day as best I can, and give my mind a break from constantly thinking about the loss.

I know they mean well and their hearts are in the right place, they just don't realize that constantly bringing the person up can often be more harmful than helpful, that's all.

Are there specific things you've found to be helpful or not as helpful?

I lost my 23-year old son last year. Today is 10 months. I don't know how to keep going without him. Every day seems like a battle that I’m losing, but I can't let my family see how bad it is.

He was so kind, so smart and wickedly funny. There is so much of my life that is lost without him. I raised him alone, and was only 19 when he was born. He was by my side for more than half my life when he died. I miss his gentle soul, the sound of him saying "love you mom," and a million other things I'll never have again. The first year anniversary is coming up in August. I don't know how to survive this, how do mothers go on without their sons? Their only boy?

I remember you, Bear. Every minute of every day, you never leave my heart. I will love you for the rest of life, and you will not be here for any of it. I love you, Marc.

Always, Mama

It's a bit different for me, because the grief from my losses is the driving force behind my shop and social media content. It gives me a constructive outlet to channel those feelings into, while also providing a helpful platform for others experiencing similar feelings.

What do you do to maintain that balance? Please let me know in the comments.

My mother passed 6 days ago and I still do not believe it. Will it ever become a reality ? It feels like she’s still at home but she’s not.

UPDATE: we laid a bouquet at Xs grave the day before his birthday and sent his parents a text on his birthday. They appreciated both. I'm really glad we left the bouquet the night before because they understandably visited early and knew X was remembered by others.

Hi everyone, I'm not a grieving parent but my second cousins recently lost their very young child. It was sudden and it's only been 4 or so months. Their late son's birthday is coming up and I'm not sure how to support them.

We are not very close, though their loss has made me step up a bit more to show them they are not alone since they live far away from their parents and larger support system.

Would it be weird if I reached out to let them know I can be there for them on his birthday if they want me there? Or to just say I'm thinking of them?

I know everyone grieves differently so I guess I'm looking for ways to support them without truly understanding what they're going through.

I miss you.. I love you.. I’ll see you soon..

My story

My child died in an accident last year. Their high school called and asked if I would like to attend the upcoming graduation ceremony. They’d like to read my child’s name and have me walk across the stage to accept their diploma. Other parents, what do you think of this? I don’t know if I can do it. But I know there’s teachers and friends that might appreciate my honoring them in that way. Has anyone experienced this?

I have a genuine question as I haven’t seen it talked about anywhere in posts. My 18 year old daughter passed away in February and I am such a mess. I can’t think straight, very forgetful, crying all the time, numb, feel like I’m in an alternate reality. I was drinking beer daily but not getting hammered just self medicating to cope. My doctors wanted me to stop drinking immediately and are pushing antidepressants on me telling me it will help me get through this next year a little easier. I’m just honestly wondering if that is something commonly practiced while a parent is grieving their child? Has this happened to any of you?

I’m 18 years old and spent the last 2 years of my life bettering myself to become a parent. In the last month or two of my pregnancy I was able to get a two bedroom house in a decent neighborhood for me and my baby. I’m currently staying with my father a city over though awaiting the funeral for my beautiful baby boy. His name was Angel and he was 7lbs 5oz he was a ginger just like his momma too. I don’t think the fact that he was dead when he was born has fully sunken in yet like I cry and I scream for him and I just keep thinking about what happened but it’s like I’m in shock I can barely remember a thing sometimes and others all I can do is remember it all perfectly and it’s killing me my mind feels foggy and just it hurts so badly emotionally that I feel it physically. Ever since I saw his poor little body covered in tubes and sticky monitors I haven’t been able to stand up straight because I can’t breathe at all and just it feels like I’ll never be able too breathe again and I’m terrified that feeling may never go away. If there are any other mothers who have gone through this alone like without having the father involved what should I do? What can I do to let myself actually process what happened so I don’t break down at the funeral

My daughter died in a car crash on January 4th of this year. She had turned 17 a month earlier, and has a brother who turned 16 in December as well. They were almost exactly a year apart, and might as well have been twins. They have always been so close, they were each others’ person and closest confidant. We are both absolutely grief stricken, as you can well imagine, and I feel so much guilt and like I failed her in so many ways. My kids and I have always likewise been close, and they’ve always come to me for anything so my son and I talk about our feelings and grief regularly. In addition, we are both in therapy and ok medication for depression and anxiety.

Here is where I need advice…I worry that he has lost all ambition. He’s 16 and doesn’t want to get his permit, doesn’t want to do school work (which he has always been wonderful about doing), doesn’t want to speak to friends or even leave his room most days. Of course, I speak with him and let him know I understand and I’m here for him, but am I enabling him? Should I be tougher about school work and leaving his room? I don’t want to fail him. He has so much potential and he’s so smart, but he doesn’t have any passion or interest in anything anymore.

Such a beautiful soul. My daughter taught me more than I could have ever taught her.

10 years ago today she was taken by a careless driver who ran her over before crashing into our home.

I love you Kylie

So my dad...died a few days ago. Without giving too much detail, it wasn't natural and he was only 58. I've dealt with a lot of death in my life but this one is beyond anything I could ever have expected. He had no life insurance, no money in his bank nothing. So I've had to start a GoFundMe to try and raise money for his services and headstone. He's 1 of 15 kids and has 6 kids of his own but no one wants to help me plan it or pay for it. It's a LOT of stress and constant heartache. I'm already on medication for ADHD and anxiety and this seems to be pushing me over the edge. It wasn't till now that I realized I've never truly felt sadness over a death. My doc has given me a mood stabilizer to help but I'm still losing it. And because these feelings are new to me and because this is my daddy's tragic death and I'm dealing with police and all the things that go along with death AND having trouble paying for it.... I don't know how to handle things. I don't know how to grieve properly. I stay up for days on end, can't eat, my moods are everywhere and I feel like I'm going to flip. Is there ANY advice for a screwed up situation like this? How do I become "normal"? How does someone grieve? Just feeling lost.

It feels like it happened a million years ago but it's only been two weeks. I was 27 weeks pregnant. He was our first. I swore I felt him kicking and moving around. When I went to my appointment that morning they couldn't find his heartbeat. It didn't happen overnight. They said he had been gone for a week or two. But I swore I felt him moving. We went to the hospital that afternoon and I delivered him that night.

I'm still bleeding off and on. My milk is almost dried up. I've been off my pain meds for about a week. And I've lost all of my pregnancy weight. Most days I'm fine, but others I just feel so numb. I don't blame myself. There is no hate or anxiety. I just want to hold my baby boy.

I know several people that has lost their babies. They swore it would not happen to me. Now here I am. Picking out an urn for him. And getting ready to pack up the things we bought him. Hoping we will be able to use it someday.

4 months ago my brother passed leaving his 2 kids and wife behind. I lost my father at the same age but under different circumstances. He is refusing to go to school so he enrolled in an at home school and is still refusing to do what is necessary. He is having screaming matches with his mom, sneaking out all hours of the night. I personally had a different experience than he did. I wasnt close with my dad he was very close with my brother. His mom is at a loss and I am looking for advice to try to help get him back on track while also greiving this sudden and immense loss.

****Sorry if this post is messed up as this is my 1st ever reddit post .

I ( 31 F)recently lost my mom this past new years.Her death wasn't expected and has been the hardest adjustment of my life (no suprise there ) For as long as i can remember, it's always just been me and her ( even with my boyfriend joining the crew 2 years ago). I feel so lost and am looking for some new ideas on what to try for new hobbies. I'm thinking this might help me with the grieving process- because it's hard to see how things/life could get better at this point . My mom was my absolute best friend in the world, and with me taking some time off work to adjust-I find myself interested in taking on a new skill or find a new passion. Anyways TIA for your thoughts and ideas! I'm really open to any suggestions.

Hello everyone. My friend has been dead for over a year now. Would it be insensitive to send her flowers and put her dead son as the sender? Should I tell her they are from me and I think my boy would appreciate her knowing he would be thinking of her today? I want to do something nice but don't want to cross the line or bring back bad feelings.

Thanks

I lost my baby boy, he was my first everything, first pregnancy, first baby. He was born at 27 weeks. He should still be here on this earth. On Saturday, 3 days 16 hours after he was born he was taken from me and my family. He was the light that everyone didn’t know they were looking for. I have never felt a lose so great as I have this past week, I feel like I’m in a dream that I’ll never wake up from. He would have been 9 days old today. Now the only thing I have is a healing wound from my emergency c-section and breast milk that is taken a life time to dry up to remind me that my baby boy will never be in my arms again in this life time. The worst part of it all is the phantom kicks in my belly. My only savior is my family, they are the only thing keeping me going in this new world that I have to live in, without my baby boy. Grayson you made me a mom and I will always love you.

If you have read this thank you, I just needed to feel my feelings right now, and didn’t know where else I could.

I lost my mom just over a year ago. She had cancer 4 times. The first time she had it I was 5 years old, again when I was 13, again when I was 24 and then again when I was 30 she passed. She went from stages 1-4 in this time period. The hardest thing I've ever had to do was give her permission to take her life via injection by doctors.. she wanted me to let her go and I had no choice she was in so much pain. She was my best friend and I just don't know life without her. My dad is still alive and they have discovered a mass in his colon they have said it's cancer.. he also has dementia, diabetes, sleep apnea to name a few. I have already started the grieving process for him already even though he is alive. I am suffering and I am in a new relationship with someone who I don't want to put pressure on he has mental illness and can't deal with the amount of stress. I'm scared, I don't know what to do and I don't have friends to go to. I am getting an assessment for myself for autism which could explain my lack of friends so I am dealing with this alone. My siblings are MIA other than my oldest sister but she is breaking too from the amount of pressure she's under. Therapy? I can't afford it. Friends? I don't have. Work? I just started this job and I'm still in training. Coping skills? What are those even.. Life is insane I don't know what to do.

I'm having a really hard time. My son died 96 days ago and I might feel worse now than I did the day of. I don't have a therapist and I don't really like talking about it with people around me. I have a 6 month old baby boy and a fiance that help me stay grounded but I basically drink myself to sleep every night and I know that I'm just hurting myself little by little. I don't want to give up but everything that seems so hard is so compounded by this underlying feeling of dread and a broken heart. I guess I'm wondering if anyone has any recommendations on how to cope with losing their child. Outside of therapy and drinking myself to death. I need some alternative.

I miss you so much, there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about you, I miss your phone calls always checking up on you, I will never be ok with how you passed, since you were such a healthy lady. But I will be ok, I know that what you would want for me ❤️🦋