I love watching stuff with romance in it sometimes but also I just get tired of seeing it so much, like there can't be a Kdrama with out romance Drama I like stuff with fight scenes with martial arts and stuff with supernatural powers and fantasy or mystery solving, like detective ones.. Anyone have any good suggestions/recommendations?

I’m almost 24 and I genuinely crave a relationship now which is something I never really did beforehand.. never wanted to date or anything as a teenager but since my 20s I have been desiring one.. is it normal for greyromantics/greysexuals to want to date much later than others?..

How do I even get into dating, so inexperienced 💀

Hello! I kind of need help identifying what I'm feeling right now and I thought this sub-Reddit would be the best for this situation.

Around a month ago, I was on this trip and I had a deep conversation with a friend that I didn't talk to much at the time. Ever since that conversation, I can't tell if it's a crush or not? They aren't my usual type at all but as it turned out, I really ended up liking their personality, way of thinking and opinions. All over the internet it is said that you need to feel giddy heart fluttering excitement whenever your crush is around. You blush, have butterflies in your stomach, you want to catch their attention, etc. For me, the feelings are almost dimmed down, making it really confusing to tell if it's me just wanting a friend or not.

When I'm around them, I don't have butterflies nor does my heart skip a beat. I don't blush either unless they are looking at me for too long or teasing me but I really enjoy their company. They make me feel safe when they hug me as well as understood when we talk. When they aren't around, I can't help but miss their presence. I don't overly like their looks, either. I just like their looks for what they are. I don't think they look amazingly pretty or beautiful, which is what other people say when they have a crush on someone. Sometimes I glance over at them from time to time when I don't even mean to but I don't get why. I even catch myself getting slightly jealous when they're with close friends for some reason. It's at a point where I wouldn't mind at all if we ended up dating, just to see what they are like and how the experience would go. I don't constantly think about them, but I think about them more than other family members or friends if that makes sense. I like their style and how they don't seem to care what people think. I also like their confidence. Just general stuff like that.

Overall to put my feelings in a few sentences if I could it would be that when they walk into a room I don't get overly excited, nervous, giddy or over the moon for them. I just acknowledge their presence and that makes my day just that little bit happier and more interesting. The reason I want people's opinion on this is that I think they could have a crush on me or feel like I am feeling at the moment and I don't want to accidentally lead them on and make them feel sad or have any negative emotions. In other words I don't want to break their heart. I know how that feels and it sucks.

I know this post probably doesn't make any sense but any thoughts on this is appreciated! :)

I’ve been like this my whole life but want to find love 😭 i feel weak romantic and sexual attraction to people and always have.

TLDR: not sure if I'm greyro or aro, confused about orientation based on recent experience.

Hi, new here new account since I'm talking about an established relationship. I (43f) have been married for almost 10 years to my husband (44m) and we have a great relationship, are each other's best friend, do basically everything together. No kids. We have great compatibility and he's very attracted to me romantically and physically/sexually. I never really experienced the "romance" feelings I know he gets and I haven't had them before in any relationship. I've always experienced sexual attraction and a sense of emotional security with longterm partners, but not been interested in romantic love, so always assumed I was aro and communicated the same to him.

I just spent about a week in close proximity to someone I work with remotely and hadn't met in person until now. We are great work friends. We live far apart and we're both in serious relationships (that's another issue for another sub, and please don't judge). We brought each other gifts from our hometowns and sent pics to our partners, and my husband was actually there for a few social events with him.

From the MOMENT we met in person there was this immediate glow in my chest. We were physically comfortable with each other without trying. An unspoken acknowledgement that we had pretty deep feelings for each other. Over that week we just gravitated to each other, walked around arm in arm, and were super happy to be near each other. When we accidentally touched hands or at one point intentionally held hands it was warm and sweet.

That was the extent of it and we're both back home now, with our partners, but the feeling I'm left with is that I might have just experienced a sense of "romantic love" and now I'm really confused. I love my husband but I always thought of the love as more of a BFF commitment with forever benefits. I wouldn't risk our relationship any further than this already did, but I have to ask if what I'm feeling means I'm greyro or maybe not arospec at all. Was that "romance" or deep platonic love?

Reminder that I'm not asking for relationship advice here because I have a lot to process on that topic, but help discussing what this new feeling means in terms of how I identify would be really appreciated.

Hello everyone! I hope you are all well and I wanted to ask you a question.

Have you ever felt "butterflies" for someone? If you so, would you say these "butterflies" lean towards the romantic or platonic side? (your thoughts and intentions are romantic when feeling butterflies or whether they are platonic.)

So I, 28, have had one 3-year relationship that ended because I had lost sexual and romantic attraction to my ex-boyfriend after a few months into the relationship. Now the same thing happened after a 6-month relationship with a girl I dated, at first I thought it would be different with her because I felt attracted to her. But I am not wanting s*x with her anymore, feeling disgusted when she kisses me with tongue, not wanting her hugs when I used to want them so bad.

I told her, she took it well and wants to be in a QPR with me. I also told her she could think about it and change her mind but she said yes right away.

I've also had other relationships that last no longer than 3 months but they were too superficial and the person always abandoned me so I feel I didn't have the time to lose attraction to them.

Has anyone here experienced this kind of losing attraction so quickly into a relationship ? It happens to me everytile and I'm feeling so lonely rn.

I feel I might be frayromantic, what do you guys think ?

So I’m pretty sure I’m grayromantic, definitely asexual.

So to try and explain, I have this best friend. He asked me out like two months ago and I rejected. But the only reason why I rejected was because I’m uncomfortable with the idea of kissing or anything more than that. I’d be fine with hugging, holding hands. Kiss on the cheek etc.

I guess I’ve not been very nice to myself, in the sense that I’m mad at myself. As I’m pretty sure I like him more than a best friend, as I’ve not felt like this for any other best friendship and I have done for around 4 months, I just can’t get passed this feeling of discomfort.

I’m welcome to any questions or suggestions, thank you for your time.

I can feel fondness empathy and a desire for companionship with certain females but I can feel a crush only under specific circumstances. The other day I was talking with a girl on WhatsApp and she opened up about her seeking a romantic relationship , saying she's interested in someone from our friend group but she doesn't know if he's interested back . She asked me if I have someone I'm interested in and I responded with "that's a good question , I don't know" . After the conversation and the support I gave her and her positive responses I started feeling sensations like an intense crush which were overwhelming because I don't feel them consistently . it's been a while since I felt such strong reaction

So confused after someone said they experience butterflies with alterous, like how do you know for sure??

(Mesh vs crush)

It is okay to be greyromantic, to be aromantic. Sometimes we are our own critics or someone has said something that made us question ourselves, someone invalidated our experience. the aromantic community is a great community. It can take time to discover our orientation, to deconstruct pressures and expectations others have placed on us, we placed on ourselves thinking we had to, seeing so much media that so often uses romance as means of drama. it is okay to stand our ground and demand an apology, when someone we came out to, gave us the it is just your hormones or the you will find the right partner "advice". it is okay to not feel always happy being greyromantic and experiencing envy. spotting other aros in real life can be tough, having to educate people when coming out, hardly seeing any representation in media and when, it is a side character with no drama arc. someone recommended the series koisenu futari to me and I have to say it is the first time I have seen several aromantic themes addressed in a show, so I really recommend it. I don't really know what my point is, I guess: there is a community, you are not alone and the show has given me hope that better media representation is awaiting us.

Anyone else relate to this? How did you get past the uncomfortable feeling if you have tried dating? And no I don’t want a QPR

I’ve had crushes before but just to make sure these are the feelings i have experienced:

I get super happy and excited whenever they’re around and the world feels like it brightens up just like how life felt like as a kid. I feel euphoric and giddy, can’t sleep or eat when thinking about them. It’s hard to feel sad when thinking about them because they just make me feel happy. i get a burst of energy when having a “crush” too like it feels too good for that person to actually exist..

Is this a crush? i rarely feel this feeling but it’s so nice when I do. (Sometimes sexual attraction is involved but other times I can feel it without sexual attraction)

Hey, so I recently started questioning if I'm either a grey-aromantic or a demiromantic, and I'm struggling to figure it out.
Part of it is me struggling to fully understand the difference, so can I have a little help please?

This is also going into r/demiromantic

lately, it's been on my mind to ask the person i 'like' directly if he wants to date me. of course, if ever i bring the topic out, i have to say that im greyromantic and my feelings of liking someone are weak and i have a lot of confusion about the concept. although i can say that, im afraid that we might lose our current friendly relationship if we ever tried pushing for my date idea. i just dont fit the traditional relationship and so, if ever he doesn't like the idea of me being greyromantic, i might just lose someone i 'like'. it's not like im really scared of losing the person but right now, i dont like the idea of dating someone but that person. it's weird. do you guys have advices?...

I went over to visit my friend (she's the one I have started getting feelings for and fell in love with) to check on her since she was sick. I work in the hospital so I went over there to basically do a basic checkup as you do at a doctor's office. Fast forward to the important part after doing the check up, we started to talk a little and just had fun hanging out. Not really sure if this counts as a second date. As it went on I finally started getting comfortable and layed on her arm and shoulder. She didn't mind and she said it was fine when I texted her about it when I got home. Also before I left to go home I accidentally said "Love you" to her after we hugged and I just quickly walked away because I didn't want to be awkward lol. I guess I really do have a crush on her and was just denying it because I never developed romantic feelings for anyone. As of right now idk if we're dating or not. This part is where I need help because how am I supposed to know if we're just friends still or actually starting dating?

Since naturally many posts are about questioning, but not everybody is comfortable with posting and might not have their concerns answered, we wondered if a general questioning post would be a good idea, where people further along the way can share what they learned, their experiences and opinions with folks who find themselves right now in a questioning phase. just comment below.

Of course, I know there are greyromantics and aromantics who are neurotypical and no I don't think it is inherently connected but I feel as though that my autism has affected my perception of romance and affected significantly how I feel romantic attraction.

How did you know when you had a crush? What were the differenced between your feelings to your friends and your crush?

Im aro, currently questionjng whether I have a crush and Id really like some help

Hello! Sorry this is going to be a bit of a mess as I've been wondering for so long if there is a term for me.

I'm also sorry if this is the wrong sub reddit for this. I wouldnt say I'm full aro, I have had relationships and I've experienced romantic attraction. The problem is with who. I don't get crushes on nearly anybody, over my entire life I have only ever had crushes/romantic attraction for 3 people. There is no similarities other than their gender. Their personalities aren't similar, physical looks aren't similar, nothing of the sorts. The way I developed that crush wasn't normal either. For all 3 of them it was the moment we met. Something like a spark just being ignited and I fell in love. I have never fallen in love with anybody I've known for a long time and it confuses me so much.

The reason I'm not sure if I'm greyro is because those feelings in my relationships don't fade, I still loved my partners throughout our entire relationship.

I'm a demisexual who had only felt that way with the 3 partners I have had. I'm just so confused on who I am and if there is a term so i can talk to people who are like me.

So, I'm pretty sure that I'm aromantic already, but I'm trying to find labels that fit me. I've found two, but I don't know if you can be both. I'm pretty sure I'm greyromantic, but could I be cupioromantic at the same time? I feel like I'm both, but I don't know if they contradict each other.

wondering because i had mine at a pretty common age for allos to have their first crush, but i really do think i’m on the arospec. and i’m a little scared i’m too allo to be considered greyro even though i feel like it fits me.

(for context, mine was at 13. and i was extremely shocked that i was falling in love bc i thought i was aroace)

I will quickly say this is a copy&paste from my initial (first) post in r/aromantic! And I am so sorry for my poor spelling.

Hello!

I don’t know anymore to accept myself. I might be lying myself or changing my narrative. I’m questioning myself on romantic feelings.

During elementary school, I wasn’t thinking about romances. I knew the concept quiet well and the feelings that they have describe it just something I always think about or at least thought to relate to I did experience attraction towards looks especially on boys hairstyles. But one time I random thought that I may have a crush on someone but I realized now currently that wasn’t a crush at all. I fantasize on having a partner with you take care of you and loving you so much that one time I would go to bed wanting a person come to my room and kiss me in my sleep. But yet I hated watching kissing scenes (I would look away( but like the tension of them or somewhat.

Then middle school hits. Everyone was looking for a partner or even in a relationship. Once again I didn’t think too much about it until I met my first acceptable crush. I don’t know the reason on why I like him. But I know that I may like his looks his face and his hair, even when he is close to me or tried to talk to me I always tried to stay away from him. I felt my face hot or red, my heart starting beating. Even when I have a partner (at that time I thought I was pansexual) I still have somewhat have that feeling but quite a lot better (less strong) I believe. At that time I would watch a lot of anime especially romantic anime genre. I would actually be comfortable watching characters kissing (probably because it is away from the camera I don’t know) and started exploring on character ships.

In high school, I am completely neutral but yet confused on differences of intimate relationships and friendships what is strong or not. I started to stray away from romance media but always come back. Reading fanfication but yet always move out of the way when it is talking romance. Including when I came back to old comics that I read during middle school I was immediately withdrawn from it. Having certain feelings toward 3 different people (such as nervousness and rising temperatures [not to extremes unlike my 1st crush]) but always try to control it since of course I don’t want to have these feelings. But yet struggle with that.

I notice a lot when I look at a person my thoughts quickly leads to think in a friendships way to think with that person with romanticism and that freaks me out or be repulsive towards it. It didn’t develop feelings but I am so worried about it. To the point that I am scared that if I get too close to them that my body will react or respond as romantic.

When I have my anxiety medication it was a difference experience I didn’t have those types of feelings anymore or at least in high intensity. I realized (once again) I am neutral with romance, of course I still look away from kissing scene that do not interest me with the plot or action. Not caring about romance, no longer fantasizing it, coming out as asexual. It was such an eye opening exploration but expect to feelings of romance.

I believe that I may be grayromatic because I did have one experiences that I believe it is related to my overthinking and my anxiety, or just feelings really. I know it is quite normal, but I couldn’t accept it because I am scared or terrified to do the wrong thing.

I don’t think I am Lithromantic or Cupioromantic because I just don’t have interest in romance or have a neutral stances on it since I am no longer seeking it or at least look appealing (probably because I have a partner). I am working on how to accept myself including since I am neurodivergent.

I appreciate anyone reading this. I am very sorry for my rambling and any confusion I may make in this text including grammar issue and wording structures. Thank you very much on reading this!

Edit: Misspelled subreddit/words & added/remove words & added paragraph

Hello, I am currently question a lot about my sexuality. I’m thankful that there is more to it because what I feel and trying to understand is a lot. About myself I am a 26 year old women, I’m a virgin, and I’ve never been in a relationship. I’ve had crushes in high school but now that I’ve gotten older I feel like I’m forcing myself to find a “crush”. Ive never received any romantic interest from anyone in high school either but it never bothered it. As I get older family members and friends wonder when I’ll get a boyfriend or question if I’m secretly a lesbian. I just say I’m only focused on school at the moment but the truth is i feel like I need to find someone, like I’m on a timer and I need to be with someone when I don’t really want to. So I started looking into what asexuality is and then it led me to grey romantic, I just wanted to know if anyone has felt this way also and if it’s possible that I might be grey romantic?

Im still so shocked that crushes are people YOU ARE ROMANTICALLY ATTRACTED TO. It makes no sense😭 for me crushes have always been people i think are just good looking, im not really attracted to them. Anyone else had a similar shock about finding this out?

18NB, I've just realised that greyromantic might actually explain me quite well but i'm not sure. I had tonnes of crushes on boys in primary school but whenever they asked me out i'd always get the ick immediately (i then realised i am a lesbian😎) and the happened with girls for a while too but when i had my first "love" at 13 it was pure obsession and they love bombed me and it was quite toxic and the break up was awful. I've only ever been 'romantically attracted' to people who love bombed me first and after these (2) break ups it would be a least 2 years before i'd find anyone actually attractive that i'd maybe want to date and i just remember thinking 'why is no one attractive' 💀💀 and i think i experience romantic attraction quite rarely but when i do i am head over heels and i'm now in a relationship with someone who i think actually is my first love. we were very close friends for months before and they didn't love bomb me and i wasn't even romantically interested in them at first and then it clicked one day and my romantic feelings for her are consistent and very strong and we're in a really healthy and honest relationship. I was just wondering if this is an expression of grey romanticism because ever since i was young i always was obsessed with the idea of having a special person and i had crushes a lot in primary school that never developed into anything but as i got older they were very infrequent and for a period of time the second they were reciprocated i'd loose feelings. 😁👍

So, I (18M) met this girl (18F) in January. And we were both aroace when we met. When we hung out, we would always do "romantic" things like holding hands, cuddling, etc. but we've both always felt platonic about it and we were just very close friends.

Fast forward to now. We moved to the same college. And we've hung out every day. But for some reason, I've felt so much different with her. I mean, I feel very different. I think for the first time, I am falling in love. I keep thinking about her and even when I don't want to think about her, she always comes into my mind. And every time I look at her, it's like, I'm so shocked that a girl this beautiful is in front of me. Every time I hold her hand while we're walking, I feel so different. When she talks to me I feel so different. It's like I just want to spend every minute of my life with her. This is the first time I've ever felt something like this about someone and I can't sleep.

I know she doesn't like me because last night, I took her to her dorm. We usually hug each other and give each other a kiss. But, I don't know what it was, but for some reason I wanted to kiss her cheek even more. So I gave her three really fast kisses on the cheek and she said, "Okay that's enough" and started speed walking. I quickly say "Shit, I'm sorry" and she says, "it's okay". I go back to my dorm and I text her saying, "I'm sorry if that was weird. Goodnight!" and she replies with, "Let's just do a hug next time :) Goodnight."

I felt so wrong about doing that. Like, I feel like I've been lying about her this whole time or something but I genuinely don't know why I did that. But I think I felt so in love in that moment that I just wanted to keep kissing her on the cheek. But anyways, she definitely doesn't like me and I think I'm actually fine with that. But I don't think she thinks that I love her romantically.

So, I guess I'm not aromantic? Or maybe I'm in a spectrum of aromanticism. I don't know. But the thing is she is aroace too and I'm scared these feelings will make her run because I know what it's like to be in her position. And I don't know if she wants a QPR or wants to date. I don't even know if I want a relationship. I don't know. I don't even know what I'm saying right now. I feel so weird, shocked, sad, and so confused. I have never felt anything like this before.

I'm sorry if this is all over the place. I'm greatly confused right now.

So if anybody has any advice, I will greatly appreciate it.

There is a website with lists of events. (The times are in CEST, UTC+2h . EDT is UTC -4h if you want to convert to a time zone in the Western Hemisphere)

ASVD Schedule Aust 25th, All Times CEST

ASVD Schedule August 25th, 2024, All Times CEST

Their website says they are looking for participation by people outside of German speaking countries to host events. I will def remember that for next year. Here are some resource links from their site

• Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week – ASAW: https://www.arospecweek.org/
• The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project – TAAAP: https://taaap.org/
• Aro Census: https://www.aromanticism.org/aro-census
• Aro Worlds: https://aroworlds.tumblr.com/
• Arocalypse: https://www.arocalypse.com/
• Aromantic Spectrum Union for Recognition, Education, and Advocacy – AUREA: https://www.aromanticism.org/
• A Carnival of Aros: https://carnivalofaros.wordpress.com/

https://aromanticspectrumday.net/en/home-english/