todays its the 31 decemeber of 2024 year

I guess this years changed me a lot from beginning to end

In the beggining of this year till spring i was going to gym, tring to be masculine and "handsome", thinking that i will definetly change my sex (to boy) in the future and trying to become good friend to ppls that dont even bother to talk with me.

i was uncomfortable all the time, i didnt had control over my body (my parent was deciding what to wear and etc.) and was too shy to talk about it someway. I wanted to become a boy just to fit into society and be respected.

In the April i saw youtube channel of russian feminist girl, her name is Sofia Chromova. She is smart, funny and i guess cute which made me interest in her content. After some time, started to watching her videos everyday, for me, she became like compamion, like bestie, who was really supportive, who respected me and said that i am good in way i am, that periods are not gross, that my soft feminine body its okay, and its pretty healthy, that i can look like whatever i want, that no one should not decide who i am and etc.

Its was very mind changing for me and i started to diving deeper into feminism and feminist blogers.

And that made results, i really lost any shame of my natural body, of menstruation, of being angry and show my real emotions, not hide the pain. I finnaly cut my hair to short in the summer (My traditional parents didnt allow me because "i am girl"), finnaly after 3 years of suffering with the long hair that i dont even want. i finnaly accepted that its okay to be woman, cuz i still can be whatever i want and be respected.

And at the and of this year, Yeah, i still has some stress and problems with mental health because of schools, parent and lonelyness. But atleast i am little bit more happy.

Thats my story of becoming feminist, what about you?

Hello everyone,

In the last year, I've been working on a project to involve men into feminism. I've recorded a podcast about my experience in patriarchy and now I'm working on a second podcast - which hopefully will turn into something more than that - and I'm looking for antipatriarchal male voices to join me and create a collective discourse on the topic. It's called Gender Traitors and I've prepared a few "rules" to participate in it, alongside a manifesto that explains the basic idea, which I hope I left incomplete enough to actually be a collective effort. I will leave the link here, in case someone will be interested in helping me out.

Important: I'm not aiming to make money or get personal fame from it, I'm an anarchist. Also, even though it's directed to males, it won't be androcentric nor it will be a way to celebrate masculinity, I already had to block a few incels who wanted to join because they did not want to be good men like the feminists want them to be. Gender Traitors

First wave seems to be different than second wave and third wave femism is even more different.

Seems to be really extreme. For example saying " I am an man "

Is some how some way???

How can the trans agenda be allied with feminist belief systems? It's just very strange. Ignoring the main biological differences between man and woman and expecting equality the main difference in pay is pregnancy leave but somehow feminist want equal pay i.e getting paid for maternity leave???

I just want to know opinions on this? Everything is so very confusing..

I want to be a better brother and friend and I feel it’s important for me to fully understand what women find ok and not. However, after casually watching the Taylor Swift documentary on Netflix the other day a question got planted in my head. She talks about ingrained misogyny in women’s minds and how they’re “programmed” to do certain things and I’m wondering if wearing exposing clothing, makeup, nails etc is part of that. It all just seems like such a faff and simply uncomfortable so I’d like to understand why someone would do that truly voluntarily. Is getting all dolled up and the psychological paranoia of looking pretty etc part of an ingrained misogyny where women feel they must look appealing to men? Or is all this part of girl power, showing confidence in one’s own body like a bit of a “fuck you world, I like this and I don’t care what you say”?

I wanted to know what everyone thinks of the new format men’s lib has.I was going to make a post on men’s lib and I got this.I know men’s lib is supposed to be for men’s issues.My question is how are we men supposed to talk about our issues when men’s lib dose this.

Hey there! I'm latin american, but I watch a lot of english content, and I really really want to find women who actually create the content I want to see. Do you have any suggestions?

I'm asking also for spanish/latin content creators.

Thanks!

women, how do you put boundaries for others? how to be strong?

Yesterday I debated this with my friend. I came to the conclusion that I’m against surrogacy being payed, but in favor of it being done as an act of generosity towards another person. This is because retribution would make it so that the whole exchange would be inherently exploitative, as it would lead to women in difficult financial situations giving up their body in search of financial stability. On the other hand, if it’s not retributed only women who actually wish to do it, will. According to my friend this is not right, because then no one would be a surrogate, furthermore, he says that surrogacy should be compensated, because prostitution is as well. He then asked me if i think that prostitution should not be compensated as well, and here the situation got tricky.

I’m against sex work because it makes women be commodities for men to use and discard, and gives men the impression that women can be dehumanized. At the same time, tho, I recognize that women who end up doing sex work are doing it purely for the money, and I think that there should be a system set in place to prevent people ending up in that kind of situation, offering them financial aid and other opportunities. I don’t think that prostitution should be made illegal, I don’t think that sex workers should be punished by law, I’m for regulating sex work but preventing people from ending up in that situation.

I’ve told him that id rather be a sex worker for 9 months than be a surrogate, if I needed financial aid and didn’t see any way out. Am I crazy? He minimizes the risks and pains of pregnancy so much, he says countless women have done it and I’m exaggerating.

What’s your opinion on this topic? I’d appreciate input of my ideas as well, and I’d like them to be challenged. Please be polite and don’t be aggressive, I’m a 16y old trying to figure out my stance on complex topics.

I'm writting a fiction sci-fi novel but chatgpt is being way to sympathetic to men "ugh" 🙄 so I'm looking to create a perfect world, a world if we all had our way, what would that look like, what's the ideal world?

I guess no men is one? But if they still existed, they would definitely need to be subjugated for sure, I was thinking of making them like 65-75% of all men are ostracized, they're not allowed in the general vicinity of women, only the best looking ones.

I saw on Tinder trends the females only swipe right on about 20% of men on there, so maybe 65-75% is being way too kind to those misogynistic bastards. So maybe only the top 15% of attractive men are allowed around women, we don't mind sharing right? 😏

I was also thinking of including a sci-fi element of gender reassignment where a persons genetics could be altered so men can literally become females more than just taking estrogen treatments, where opposite sex genitals can be grown.

Oh and get this, no more periods, test tube babies where the kids are made in the lab, so no more annoying pregnancies, no more stretch marks and other uncomfortable changes.

And of course, that way we can force our kids to be girls. A world where the patriachy no longer exists. So please, offer me all your suggestions on what would the perfect world look like, what is the feminist ideal future?

How about blindfolding men instead of covering up women’s bodies? It’d spare us a lot of cloth! :D

How about putting rapists in jail instead of banning them from the local library? Just a suggestion in efficiency!

How about raising boys to be good people
Like teaching them sharing and kindness n shit

The world if I was president am I right

Hello !

Do you know an intersectionality feminist discord, I want to chat about feminism and other opic with women in english ( I'm french )

Whenever I use kajal or eyeliner, I think to myself if I am doing what's right? There is an underlying consequence of going bare face in society. People assume your sexuality and reject your gender identity all together. There was a time where I felt that makeup was an oppressive tool, used by the patriarchal system to subjugate women. Makeup in itself cannot oppress women, but the need to wear makeup reduces a women’s value to their looks. In a commercialised world, men’s only power of control relies on exploiting a woman's beauty. The modern woman, sharp in mind and tongue, is now equal to a man. The control that men once had over her sexuality is now lost due to the rise in women’s education and career development. Therefore the only way a man can exercise control over a woman is if beauty was materialised, if it was seen as a trophy that women have to fight for. Since childhood, we were taught that beautiful women are successful and happier in life, all of which contingent on a man. A woman's job acceptance is decided by a man of higher position and happiness in life is her bearing his child. The message in this commercialised world of Ads, television and movies is simple: a woman can find success but not without a man supporting her every step. To capture his interest, she must exchange her beauty for autonomy.  Therefore beauty becomes a currency in society, where women must constantly barter with men in order to be recognised, respected and treated equally. 

If makeup was a tool of empowerment, I wonder why in my initial days of wearing makeup, the comments I received from women were regarding my sexual interest in men? For me, makeup was fun, and had nothing to do with men, but my purpose was reduced down to my sexual orientation. I also noticed the stark difference in how people perceived me: with makeup, I fit a conventional idea of femininity; without it, I was seen as asexual and not truly a woman. This made me realise that wearing a tad bit of kajal and eyeliner does well, since I would rather be recognised by the gender identity I associate myself with, than being mislabeled as “the other”. In a world where beauty is commodified, success in career, social life, and sexuality often depends on preserving an ideal of beauty and youth. Women are encouraged to overindulge in beauty products—makeup, clothes, accessories—to maintain this ideal. Yet, this pursuit of femininity is endless, fueling an economy that profits from women’s insecurities. The modern woman is free—educated, independent, and articulate; yet she remains bound by societal expectations of femininity. Her liberation is undermined by the pressure to conform to beauty standards, to present herself in ways that validate her worth through appearance. The cycle leads us to the source of the issue- THE MAN. 

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScXIhrqYA0SsEbwkapaeAfcVylxIYOcbvFqzC_ymwiqUrJmkg/viewform

I am processing my last experience at work. My boss and I started off great. It took me awhile to see that he never was looking or acknowledging my time sensitive emails. Then over time, I realized he was never listening to me, or sometimes even pretending to listen to me, as he would ask a question about what I just explained after I just explained it. He would spend a lot of our meetings that I had important things to cover mansplaining feminism to me, without giving me a chance to talk or comment on anything. He would explain feminism in an “I know better than you” fashion, expecting some sort of reaction from me. I felt very disturbed by the end because we would have meetings and he would answer unrelated personal phone calls in the middle of my sentences. This wasn’t just a problem he had with me or our work but that everyone in our office was aware that he wasn’t really doing anything at work and mostly sitting on his phone. My role ended up basically being all the work for our department, including items that should have been done by him. I was frustrated because he wanted to approve everything that I did but then did not have the time of day to actually respond to my inquiries that were seeking approval. I had to end my work with the non-profit at the point where he had moved my work desk and told me that “I was not adhering to the seating plan.” Anytime I spoke up in a meeting with others and him, he would shut down my point or argue that I was wrong. I barely spoke anyways, because he would often dominate the conversation. Many times he would make subtle comments about my skin tone and even made a strange assumption that my multiracial marriage is some sort of fetish. I find it most disturbing to me because he spent so much time telling me how he is very actively involved in feminism, while his actions showed me otherwise.

My grade 9 class is covering case studies of discriminatory policies–including women's suffrage.

Each week, they do a socratic seminar debate on an opinion article which is loosely tied to their topic.

I would like to give them a misogynistic POV article to discuss but I'm having trouble finding one that fits the bill I'm looking for.

I would like:

-Biological essentialism for why women should(n't) do x, y, z.

-Nothing too radical–I want students to feel conflicted, like they might agree, in order to reveal biases.

-Nothing containing explicit dealings of assault.

When in an argument we oppose to, it is impossible to argue constructively with a man without being inferiorized for being a woman. It always, always comes down to 'stfu bitch', especially when they have nothing better to say. This is more prominent on social media, but it also exists in a lot of families, and interestingly the idea is the same in all races. It all comes down to you are a woman, are you aware of that, women aren't supposed to speak let alone argue with a man! Most men don't even care about the topic at hand which we are discussing, it's just about satisfying their own egos. Just like politics, football matches, everything that is masculine. Society keeps on feeding overly masculine people in every part of life, while ignoring very right and just ideas of women. As a woman i can feel the difference i am dealt with in my life. It is there and it needs to be talked about, not silenced! Do you experience something similar in your own life, as a woman?

Fillers and botox promote patriarchy and oppression of women. This is something that has been spoken about for years but i always thought that women should have complete choice over what feels empowering to them. Today I went with my mother and sister to a beauty clinic and they both got lip filler. It sounds so obvious, but I couldn’t believe these two intelligent people were finding empowerment in something so patriarchal. Absolutely, we should all have the choice on what to do with our bodies. But why is it empowering to get filler and botox? Why is it empowering to undergo surgery to conform to a beauty standard dictated by men?

These thoughts made me wonder about my own relationship with beauty and feminism. I made an effort to stop wearing makeup recently because it was making me feel ugly when not wearing makeup. Now I only wear it on special occasions. But applying my own logic, why does this empower me? I would love to do some further reading around this as well if anyone has any suggestions.

I’m open to hearing different views on this topic, I am coming at this from a level of privilege being a able bodied, white cis woman. I am also coming from a place of ignorance with this one, would love to know others’ thoughts

just got my post deleted on a feminist sub because i called males moids while showing pics of them making horrible misogynistic statements. was told that its revolting offensive language and my post got removed by the mods and someone said that we shouldn't stoop to their level.

we'll never make it out. feminism has completely been infiltrated by the patriarchy, and being nice to your oppressor in the name of "turning the other cheek" mentality. disgusting.

does anyone else feel the same way? i find that this is censorship of women and its ridiculous.

and yup, now im banned, was waiting for it. how ironic

In one of my classes, a girl has accused one of the guys of sexually assaulting her. I know neither the girl nor the guy very well, currently all there is to go off is both of their testimony. I have a close male feminist friend I had an argument/debate/disagreement with over this. He was saying that we should reserve judgement until evidence comes out, but he's accusing me of being misogynistic, dismissive and downplaying the struggles women have to go through.

Some of the lads (including my friend), and most of the girls, have started giving him the cold shoulder, some haven't. I have continued to treat him completely normally, I have no evidence to accuse him of SA so it's unjust for me to treat him differently. My friend told me that this is also wrong.

I simply fail to see his perspective, it's just his word against hers, we must reserve judgement until there is evidence that either of them are actually telling the truth. Beyond that, I fail to see how this has anything to do with feminism, I would say the exact same thing if it was the guy accusing the girl.

Men are socially conditioned to be orderly, logical, and rational. Women are socially coniditoned to be sensitive, intuitive and loving.

Men will project logical behavior onto everyone who passes as masculine, and view feminine behavior as irrational and stupid.

One form of ableist oppression this results in, which I've experienced, is irrational men with psychosis who act strongly on emotional, gets viewed not as deeply emotional but as simply having a insanely complex logical neurotic behavior.

I believe this to be an important piece of the puzzle.

And that problem is basically continuing to silence trans/Korean voices telling them how problematic being attached to the 4B naming convention is.

A naming convention that means absolutely NOTHING to you if you don’t even speak Korean.

In the days following the election (over 2 weeks now)

I’ve seen myself and other voices - both Korean and Trans, or both Korean & Trans, get downvoted, blocked, shadowbanned for pointing out problems with taking on the mantle of 4B.

4B in S. Korea is absolutely not the radical feminist and effective ideological stance that non-Korea has made it out to be.

To be clear:

S. Korea has a series of quite serious gender equity problems. The concerns, safety, pay equity, and social norms expected of S. Korean women is vastly different and very specific to S. Korea and does NOT translate to US women problems.

4B is also not a significant movement in S. Korea. At all. While many young Korean women may choose not to be dating/marriage/child birth, very few would identify as being 4b and just be choosing to put their financial choices/security first. The phrase “just because” is the most likely answer you will get on why women are choosing not to actively pursue romantic partnerships and family . The most PROMINENT answer to why young people (both male and female) are opting out of children is FINANCIAL.
4B is not a secret “fight club”. It’s an anonymous message board sewer of misandrist, racist, homophobic, transphobic trolls. And anyone telling you otherwise from a burner Reddit account is not telling you the whole story. It’s a pinprick in an otherwise large venn diagram. And if you’ve been to Korea or even watched any Korean dramas, you’d see how little a dent in social expectations/norms isolationist single culture is vs. couple culture and family culture.

Please note that even non-feminist Reddit circles will tell you that 4B barely exists except in idealized western imagination. Which may or may not be a bit of fetishized idealation but that’s a whole other thing to unpack. If you go to the Korea or GenZ or Asian subreddits you’ll see general consensus that 4B is not actually making any sort of dent or progress in Korean hearts/minds at all, much less population decline or advances in feminism. But you ABSOLUTELY WON’T see those perspectives in various feminist communities because our voices are getting drowned out or erased. And that’s the problem here. An appalling erasure and failure in intersectionality.

Nearly every article written about 4B in Korea has grossly miscredited 4b for feminism in S. Korea when it’s showing media about the #metoo movement or other feminist rallies.

4B is exclusively only on the message board WOMAD which is a vitriolic, TERF, troll farm of hate and harassment much akin to 4Chan. From WOMAD they have launched multiple hate and harassment campaigns against the queer community - not limited to Doxxing and harassing trans people, outing gay individuals, and even sending harassment attacks against Han Kang - the Pulitzer Prize winner - for being a single woman. They do NOT support victims of SA and have in fact trafficked in CP and revenge porn. They have threatened to bomb religious institutions and have even had child rape associations after one member of WOMAD was arrested in Australia.

“I can’t find any evidence of 4B being TERF or homophobic so is it’s not, right? I have no idea what these trans or Korean women are talking about. I mean, our 4B is totally inclusive so it’s fine”

Um. So, believe Korean and Trans women if they tell you they have the experience letting you know about WOMAD and 4B’s problems. Please. If you don’t read Korean and weren’t familiar with Megalia or WOMAD, then there’s no way you could know. Megalia is a pretty well known message board for women that discussed a lot of feminist issues and concerns. After putting in restrictions against hate speech, homophobia, and harassment - the most extreme voices of that group created WOMAD. So they could be free to enjoy anonymous hate speech. And that’s where 4B was born. Please note, Korea has attempted to make more stringent laws re: cyber harassment, hate, and revenge porn, etc. As such, WOMAD has been under scrutiny and a significant amount of “dirty deletes” re their activities. But it’s there. And Korean and trans voices know and remember what 4B in Korea has always been about. If you’ve looked to TikTok and search on Korean feminists talking about 4b and why they don’t support it, extensive documentation with translations are there.

And despite multiple efforts to request non-Korean 4B communities to STOP PLATFORMING 4B or to consider different naming conventions for their movement - voices, like mine - a Korean feminist - are getting blocked, shadowbanned, downvoted.

To be absolutely clear - bringing “awareness” of S. Korean 4B is HARMING Feminism in Korea. As more mainstream feminist efforts and communities are lumped in with 4B and kneecapping efforts for progress and changes in social and legislative areas. Conservative politicians and political parties are blaming women and feminism for a wide swath or issues and pointing out that extrremists like 4B are the problem instead of addressing their own problematic policies. Platforming 4B is HARMFUL.

Again. 4B being amplified is HARMING S. Korean Feminists.

COME UP WITH YOUR OWN NAME. CHANGE THE NAME TO LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE.

POST EDIT:

I FIND IT WILDLY HILARIOUS THAT THE SUPER INCLUSIVE ENGLISH LANGUAGE 4B MOVEMENT KEEPS ON TRYING TO TELL A KOREAN FEMINIST TO SHUTUP. COOL.