The Flight is a science fantasy first-person present short story, it is framed as if it were a real journal which was salvaged by a historical preservation society.

I am looking for general criticism, in addition to your feedback regarding the following more specific concerns:

1. Does the tonal shift beginning from page 14 paragraph reading "I find few sources of gratitude..." and continuing for the remainder of the story thereafter, work for you? Not that you necessarily agree with his perspective, but did his expression of it cause you to feel for him?

2. Was it made clear what a "mutual" means in this story's world, how it is distinct from hiveminds more generally as well as how "hivemind" is used in the story's world?

3. Did the story's overview of the "hard problem of consciousness" make the character's view on it clear?

https://docs.google.com/document/d/13N1GQ8uuXvgvyy-SzIxCDMPKSOii4mtv0sRzdIpR5ys/edit?usp=sharing

In my current WIP I have a race of human-dragon shapeshifters that, depending on which one of the seven bloodlines they are in, can shapeshift into different breeds of dragon. I need help with deciding how the hybrids should shapeshift into these dragons. I have gone through a couple of ways they can do it, but ultimately I have come down to two options. I will simplify the two down the best I can.

1. The hybrids magic manipulates their body and they are physically transformed into whichever of their dragon forms they decided.

or

2. The hybrids magic manipulates the void and the dragon is formed around the hybrid and gives them control over the body of the dragon. Kind of like the titan shifters in Attack on titan.

I have tried to pick between the two options but there are a few things stunting my decision.

A hybrids dragon form is locked away in a dormant section of their soul by their magic while it is not being used. This is to prevent the hybrid from being overwhelmed if they have more than one dragon form. It takes energy to awaken the dormant part of the soul the dragon is in.

The size of a hybrids dragon form depends on how much magic they have, and most of them are a couple dozen metres tall. There are some hybrids are a few hundred metres tall but they are several centuries old, have a lot of magic and are essentially gods.

These few things are stunting my ability to chose and option.

If I pick 1. when the hybrid shape shifts back to their human form they will have any injuries they obtained while in dragon form, they will be tired depending on how big their dragon is and won't be able to stay transformed for long, and they will have no clothes when they shape shift back to human.

If I pick 2. I'm not sure if a hybrid that is a traditional western dragon (four legs two wings) will be able to control themself and fly because of their lack of limbs to do so. And with other dragon forms depending on how big they are it could be very taxing to move. And not to mention their ability to breathe fire.

I realise some of these cons will be inevitable in the story anyways, but I just can't decide which of these two options is best, so I need some help deciding. If anyone notices any other cons of these two options please let me know!

I need some help with the backstory-ish of my dragon and one of my main characters.

One of my characters is supposed to have these dreams all her life, like dreams she doesn't understand, that were supposed to be the dragons thoughts and what it sees etc etc. I then want her to find this dragon that she is bonded with, and I know how and where she will find the dragon already. But the probem is, I'm not sure what would be a good backstory for this bond they have. She is, related to an ancestor who tamed a dragon, but she is born hundreds of years later and dragons are thought to be exctint. One of her ancestors went to a far off land and managed to tame a dragon, which he used to conquer the kingdom. It ends in tragedy, his family and his dragon dying with him. Dragons were never common in my book and only 2 people are known to have tamed dragons, and one of them is the ancestor and one of them has kind of a god-status. They are now thought to be exctint. There will be some prophecies around the whole dragon thing, those who believe there will come another dragon and it will mean doom, others who believe it will mean the opposite. The ones who bonded with a dragon didn't only tame them, but they were more like sharing a soul.

I have tried to think of it myself, and one of my first ideas was that the family had kept dragon eggs as a kind of family heirloom for hundreds of years, believed to be safe since they would not crack, for some reason I haven't decided yet. Perhaps the character, as a small child, would play with the egg or just be close to it. Then somehow, someone would get word of these eggs and feel unsafe with dragon eggs so they are removed to be destroyed. Somehow one egg would survive and crack, and then through the dreams and prophecies and help from others they would find eachother. But I'm not sure I like this. I want the dragon and my character to have been bonded since birth, like they are sharing a soul, so I don't want it to be just that she finds a random dragon

Hello everyone,

My twin and I are soon to release the second book in our fantasy trilogy. We have typed up a draft blurb and would appreciate some feedback or suggestions if you think it can be improved?

In a tribal world where power is defined by strength, Kyra is the first female to possess a secret and deadly gift: the ability to shift between human and animal form. With her heart set on revenge against the Reptilian Alpha, who enslaved her mother and killed her beloved older brother, she infiltrates an all-male training program, ready to destroy Sylas from within. But as she progresses through the punishing regimen, her attachment to a stray dog and her growing feelings for the Captain of the Guardsmen threaten her mission—and her heart.

Her singularity cannot be hidden forever. When all seems lost, Kyra is taken by the exiled Skylaria, a mysterious bird tribe, where she uncovers a hidden legacy and long-lost family she never knew she had. Finding the offer of love and acceptance in the last place she would have expected, can Kyra find a way to shatter the chains that bind her—and defy the world that wants to either destroy or control her?

She’s a woman breaking boundaries, rewriting the rules, and forging a new and dangerous path. But in a world of shifting alliances and ancient grudges, will her desire for vengeance survive shocking betrayals, hidden threats and the stubborn yearnings of her own heart?

Thank you!

We will also be asking for ARC readers soon.

Hey there fellow fantasy writers, I'm an up and coming graphic artist/illustrator looking to build my portfolio of illustrations - I've decided to ask this community to help me brainstorm which published novel I should attempt to create a series of illustrations of...

I have researched some potential options: my current top 2 choices are the Shattered Sea book #1 (Half A King) from Joe Abercrombie or The Goblin Emperor, but looking for possibly better picks from the community here...

What I'm looking for:

Instead of creating one-off illustrations from iconic moments from various fantasy novels, I'm looking to create a series of 20-40 illustrations for a single novel. Maybe 1 illustration for every 1 or 2 chapters, depending on the length. I will pick the most relevant moment in each chapter or so, and it's fine if some chapters have less "iconic" moments. I'm having trouble deciding which book to pick...please provide me your recommendations!

Some Guidelines

The novel can't be massive (e.g. any Stormlight book, as much as I would like to the 1000+ page books are too big of a scope - ideally under 400-500 pages but I might consider anything under 600-750 pages if they are very popular. I have tried and they are just too big for me to finish in a reasonable amount of time. The book can be part of a trilogy etc, but I'll just do one book (but you can recommend a book from any order of a series, doesn't have to be the first one)

I'm not too good with sci-fi style art (yet) so ideally more swords/magic/pure fantasy type books for now

Books that don't already have a movie or animation (e.g. LOTR/Hobbit/Witcher/Howl's Moving Castle are great, but I don't think I'm going to beat Peter Jackson's visuals or TV shows anytime haah)

Novel should have a decent amount of popularity and not be too obscure (its fine if it was published long ago e.g. 1980's or such as long as it has fans currently)

Would really appreciate your thoughts and your top 1 to 3 recommendations (optionally with an explanation of why) below!

P.S. Not a self promotion post, won't be publishing the illustrations here or promoting my brand, just need your help in choosing the ideal novel to illustrate. Thanks in advance!

How to stand out as a human author as AI continues to improve is something that's been on my mind a lot lately. I know it's a topic that gets discussed a lot but I do believe I have something to add to the discussion, and hopefully my reasoning can provide some reassurance to anyone worried about their future or the future of the writing industry

First, while we can probably all agree AI writes bad stories now (it does), we should probably assume AI will eventually be technically as good as humans or better at everything, whether that's two years from now or twenty. Maybe it won't, but so far every time someone has said 'AI will never do X' it does X about a month later. Ultimately, it becomes not a matter of what AI can technically do, but what we want it to do.

And do we want AI to write stories? Well, to put it in reverse: do we, the audience, want to read AI stories?

Maybe. Maybe not.

You have to ask yourself why and how people engage with different forms of media. If people engage with a form or genre of media purely for entertainment, it's more likely to end up being taken over by AI because people don't care about the product's provenance. If people engage with a form or genre because of the author and their unique perspective and ideas then that's something AI simply can't replace because AI doesn't have a unique perspective or ideas. Even if it can simulate them, AI doesn't care about what it writes or why. There's no authenticity. So, AI may end up dominating mass market media- police procedural drama, sitcoms, Marvel movies, anything James Patterson writes, but it won't make much of an impact on literary fiction or on dense, well-built words of genre fiction. We don't consume stories like these purely for surface entertainment, and knowing there was no effort or thought or intention put into their creation robs them of their value, they would feel like a waste of time to read. Disposable.

I also believe writing is better poised to survive than some other other forms of media.

• TV and movies I worry most about, I expect the idea of the 'blockbuster' to evaporate and eventually be replaced with on-demand AI generated films. There will probably still be human made cinematic experiences, auteur films and the like and with AI they could have access to special effects that would cost millions of dollars today, although I suspect most will focus on smaller scale, human-centric stories. The big name actors of the future may all be broadway stars again as all TV actors are AI generated.
• Games will probably still have a human 'director(s)' working on them because they're massively more scalable than other forms of media and so AI generation in games will just mean more game content per game is created. Indie games may hand create assets or whatnot, but no one will code a game anymore, it'll all be human or AI design choices implemented by AI generated software development.
• Digital art will be fine because it takes little time to consume and so people can enjoy both AI art and human art without a problem and there's less direct competition, but good luck finding an actual job in illustration, graphic design, whatever.
• Anything with physical media will be fine because it's inherently scarce and not scalable, which will mean painting and sculpture will be fine.
• Because of the value of scarcity, we'll probably see a surge in live music and live theater performances. The social aspect of live performances matters too, we will enjoy the human connection of being in a live audience still.
• I foresee almost all music to be either well known names or AI generated. Any musician looking to make a name for themself will probably have to start off focusing on being a live performer.

When AI becomes technically proficient, authenticity, trust, human connection, and scarcity become the cornerstones of future human creative endeavors, we as writers will have to think about how to build on those things to differentiate ourselves from the robots. That means cultivating an audience, interacting with them, doing in person events where possible. If you want or need to monetize your work, monetize exclusivity and scarcity: merchandising, limited edition runs, early access, etc. People will be craving that sort of thing in a word where of limitless mass production.

Trust is also essential, people will want you to be very clear and how you use AI (if at all) in your works. I don't think of AI like a tool, I think of it like a ghostwriter. If you're using AI, it's the same as if you were asking another person to do that task for you. There's nothing inherently wrong with that, but people deserve to know how you created your works, especially if they're coming to you looking specifically for human content. I suspect careers will be undone by accusations of AI use in the future- it's already happening on smaller scales. But this is a more minor point, 'don't lie to your fanbase about who you are or what you're doing' has always been a rule for anyone trying to find success.

So bare those cornerstones in mind as you go forward. It will get harder to succeed as a human author in the future, and getting noticed when you're just starting out will be a nightmare, but I believe so long as we emphasize the HUMAN part of 'human author' we can still survive and even flourish as people crave genuine human connection in their art.

Also, remember even if some people say they will be happy to consume only AI generated content, (a) that's an untested consumption as we don't live in a world where that's possible yet, (b) we don't need everyone to read our works to be successful, and (c) people who are happy to consume whatever is put in front of them uncritically probably aren't reading a lot of books anyway.

Note- I never use AI generated content in my posts, comments, or creative writing (although it's worth mentioning I'm very familiar with how it works)

Dear fellow often spaced out daydreamers, I published my first trilogy a little over a year ago and, surprisingly, it was quite successful, even financially speaking. But what has shaken my vision of life a little is the fun I had doing it. I wrote the books alongside my day job and these hours were often the highlights of my week. Long story short, I just took a sabbatical to write full time and create something I'm really proud of. In my estimation, and if I can keep up the current very fast pace, a release is due in about 1.5 years.

My huge concern now, and please don't laugh, is that in 1.5 years the self-publishing market will be flooded with novels written by the latest AI. So like now, only worse, because the books might actually be pretty good or okish by then - so I'm afraid Im taking a big risk with my current plan. And I know you can write for beauty for it all and so on and that's what I do aswell, but my goodness, I'd like to get paid for it too. Am I worrying too much, or just worrying enough and should I worry a lot more?

Please no sweet reassurances, only answers if you really have an understanding for the current AI developments <3

Edit: I am a german who does not do English very well
Edit 2: Still horrible at it

Hello! Just looking to see if my prologue is any good and can get people hooked. Any critiques about anything are welcomed.

What goes on in the background

Prologue

Today is the day I've long waited for. My eighteenth birthday. Finally I’ve come of age. Finally, I'll get my freedom. They fastened the rope around my neck, and I looked at the crowd. Hundreds gathered, all to celebrate me.

“It's time for your repentance, you devil!”

“Today my child will look even further down upon you.”

“This is hardly a just punishment for him! Burn the demon!”

Yes good people… I know. How could I not?

Among the chanting crowd, there was mother. She cried and cried, making sure everyone could see her display of pain and regret. Many in the crowd tried to comfort her, as she was the mother who tragically lost her child to evil. However, the crowd couldn't see what I could. They couldn't see the wicked smile tugging at her lips, the cruel indifference in her eyes, and the joy that streaked in each tear. Although, how could they? I only could because I saw her make her perfect veil from scratch. The placement of her eyelids, each fold on her face, to the pitch of her wails. Every detail was a masterpiece. She even made such a mask for me as well, chaining it to my face to make sure it would never slip.

The priest began “Today we bear witness to-”

I immediately interrupted “C’mon now! As if anyone gives a shit! Get on with it already!” As the crowd resounded out with agreement, A powerful slap came to my cheek.

"Silence demon! How fucking dare you! God will say his words and you will listen!”

My sickened laugh emanated from throughout the gallows. “The priest isn't God. He is but a man, much like his son was. Oh… I remember how he begged and screamed, pleading for me to stop as my knife slowly carved away his flesh. If I didn't listen to a man then, why would I now?”

My laughter never broke as the guard beat me bloody. Mother could barely hide her amusement and the crowd cheered, either with their bloodthirsty cries or their vengeful eyes. The priest watched the scene for a while. He had a blank expression but his conflict was elementary to discern. Took him long enough but finally he said “Enough. Let's just grant him his last wish. Any other final words?”

I had a whole Bible's worth of words I wanted to say but merely just said “Nope.” The moment it left my mouth, my feet no longer had ground to stand on. I could feel my neck break, but I didn't immediately die. It hurt… so much. But it was nothing in the face of the thousand stones the crowd threw as they unleashed their hatred and sorrow at my dangling body.

“You took everything from me!”

“Die you vile demon!”

“For John!”

“Give her back to me you monster!”

“Why…why did you take him from me?”

I know. I shouldn't have been born. I'm sorry.

Each of their cries seemed to leave a brand on my soul. I knew this was justice, it was what the disgusting creature deserved. My fading eyes began to well with tears and then they fell upon the scene that hurt the most. The visage of my mother, now with her classic haunting smile, fully letting it through the veil as all attention turned to me. After everything, I knew I had no right to think such a thing but my twisted mind simply couldn't help it. As I looked upon mother, I couldn't help but think, this was so… unfair.

Nonetheless, the longest five minutes of my life eventually came to an end. Everything went dark and my dangling corpse became lifeless.

End

Hello, I'm an amateur writer and have had this story in my mind for a while and have shared the idea with friends who generally said it's interesting and that I should write it down.

I've been working on it for while on and off and recently did a re-write of the prologue and chapter 1, but have not had any feedback about it as I don't really know any writers, so I found this sub Reddit and figured I could start here.

I'll add the link prologue here, and I am hoping to get any constructive feedback, ideas, and criticism on this. Bearing in mind I'm not a native English speaker so if anything weird with my phrasing and wording I take that on the chin, and apologies in advance.

Thanks in advance for reading. https://docs.google.com/document/d/13zeFJP2PDLkdiwg_TPc3LWDzHMM5To45OEoJLd8tjUE/edit?usp=drivesdk

I've been switching back and forth from lots of different story ideas, but I've started this one that I like the most. I'm going for a fairy-tale/fireside story like the Hobbit, inspired by when it was read to me as a kid. In terms of setting and prose style, on a triangle where the three points are Earthsea, Middle-Earth, and Discworld, I'm going somewhere in the middle. Here is an excerpt from the first few paragraphs I've written, and I'm just looking for some feedback on how the prose, description, and dialogue reads, as well as how well of a hook it is (I'm aware the plot at this point isn't stated at all, this is just the very beginning, an exposition). Thanks, here it is:

Chapter I
The Wall

Arlus of Daggerock liked to sharpen his sword but never use it. On the days when he had no duties to attend to, he would double-lock the windows of his cottage and hone his blade until his arms were weary. Then, at noon, he would leave his home empty-handed to go to the high wall that ran around the town, watching dutifully for enemies. Now, on a bright summer morning, he sat atop the wall, gazing over the forested hills and the Glass River that rounded the woods like a sleeping snake. Then, he turned back to look at the town; at the boring, square houses that were about to collapse in on each other.

‘Off the wall now, Arlus,’ came a voice. It was Mr Gadwall, the head sentry of Daggerock. He had a small pointy hat and an outfit far too elaborate for his plain, potato-like face; in a pair of big black boots, he stood stoutly at the base of the wall, with a double-ended spear in one hand and a clenched fist in the other. 

‘Good morning to you too, Mr Gadwall,’ said Arlus, beaming. ‘I am quite enjoying my view of the landscape. Care to join me?’

Mr Gadwall frowned. ‘No, I do not! I wish for you to come off that wall this instant! You have duties to attend to.’

‘I do?’ It was then that Arlus remembered that today was his first day at his new job as a sentry, and he had forgotten to go to his post.

‘I should think so!’ said Mr Gadwall. ‘Unless you have better things to do!’

Arlus’s cheeks reddened. He clambered off the tall wall and brushed dirt off his clothes.

For a moment, neither of them spoke. Then Mr Gadwall cleared his throat and said, ‘Please will you go and speak to some of the other sentries, for they will have instructions for you. And I hope never to see you atop that wall again!’

Arlus was reluctant, as he was quite enjoying the view from the wall, but he was not stupid, so he heeded this command and went to the main gate of Daggerock, where the bumpy wall opened into a great arch made from granite. Standing there, watching over the road that led out of the town, were two guards.

‘Good morning!’ said Arlus. ‘Fine day for battling.’

The guards spun around. They had to peer down to see where the voice came from, for Arlus—though just a normal man—was no taller than a gnome.

‘Where is your blade?’ asked the first guard.

‘My goodness!’ cried Arlus. ‘Do you expect me to use my special sword?’

‘Is that not what a sword is for?’ said the second guard. ‘To use? To slash?’

‘That is what my rusty dirk is for!’ Arlus said. ‘Why would I soak my shiniest, most special sword in blood when I can keep it clean?’

‘For the same reason you would light a torch, despite its pleasant scent of pine!’ said the first guard. With each word his tone veered towards an angrier, more impatient bark. ‘A torch is made to be burnt, just how a sword is meant to be wielded. Now, do head to your living-place and retrieve your weapon. Then stand by the south gate on the other end of town, and stay at your post until evening.’

So, a bit of context: I’m a fantasy author who’s working on a series of illustrated novels. After coming up with a query to pitch it, I have tried posting in on r/PubTips, and it got shot down by mods. Now, I have received some useful criticism (such as my use of vague language in the blurb, and a warning against pitching more than one book at once) but there was one critique that stood out from the rest;

Quote: “…the chances of adult fantasy getting ample illustrations is also about zero, so there’s really no need to address that part in querying.”

I mean, it’s true, you don’t see it often. Does that mean the whole idea is dead on arrival though? Any thoughts?

Here's a peek into my first book to show what I'm talking about.
LINK: https://imgur.com/gallery/i-ve-been-told-adult-fantasy-illustration-don-t-mix-jKB3sjc

This is a complete rewrite to make it from the MC's POV. Redditors have told me to say less about the story. I've left out the name of the religion, the stranger's name, and the group of adventurers who lend Kailas aid. I've also left out what the religious order want and why. On this version, I'd appreciate specific improvements! I'm too close to it to see the wood for the trees :)

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Surviving in the corrupt city of Mealduth isn’t easy. Kailas Darkchar’s innate immunity to magic is a burdensome curse she cannot use, or turn a profit from. She’s on the brink of destitution when an old priest knocks on her door offering gold in return for a favour.

Kailas desperately needs the money, but the priest’s order is feared for its strange practices and dark secrets. When she says no, the priest’s entreaties turn to threats and she flees for her life.

A stranger with golden eyes seeks her out with a chilling warning. An army of priests and holy warriors are coming after her, fired by holy zeal. Without Kailas Darkchar, their faith is cursed to dust. The stranger promises to keep her safe, but Kailas doesn’t trust him as far as she can spit. She has a horrible suspicion he’s following a sinister agenda that’s every bit as bad as her pursuers.

As old legends come to life, Kailas must screw up her courage and test her ability to its limits. If she’s to stop Mealduth descending into its darkest age, she must play the stranger against the old order. Even if it costs her soul.

Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1a_2h5f5GS4gu5fYEkuuCqc5epVhkesZYJilVQwt740I/edit?usp=sharing

I have been working on this for over three years now. Initially, it was a simple hobby to occupy my mind, but now it has grown into a world that I am personally proud of.

That being said, I have come to understand that the second person perspective is generally disliked. This isn't a choose-your-own-adventure novel, but the protagonist is purposefully left ambiguous for the reader to fill in with their own image.

I'm looking for feedback from people more open to the concept of second person.

The setting is dark fantasy and incorporates steam-punk-esque mechanics.

Also, I've never written anything before, nor am I an avid reader. My library of novels read outside of those forced by school are The Lord of The Rings, The Witcher, Elder Scrolls, and Harry Potter. All refinements were done with Quillbot and vigorous google searching, so I am also open to critique on simple grammatical errors and such.

I've been working on a fantasy novel for quite some time, I've mainly been creating characters, their backstories, magic systems, et cetra. It's a coming of age story (real original I know), about a teenage boy with amensia who joins with an organization charged with protecting the world around them, from mystical threats and rogue sorcerers (Also real original, I know).

But one thing that's been holding me back, is whether or not to go with High Fantasy or Urban Fantasy. I honestly love both, and both have their fair share of pros and cons, so I'd appreciate any assistance in giving me some much needed guidance. I've tried to decide for a while now.

Urban Fantasy has always captivated me, being able to lose myself within the depths of a world so cleverly hidden hidden with our own, as well as the necessities in secret keeping of said world. Furthermore, the conveying of information is far easier for my protagonist as he has amnesia which resulted in him forgetting about said world, which make it far easier to explain it readers at it goes along. The relatability of seeking a fantasy world in our on humdrum world allows the story to connect with readers on a more personal level. Also since it's based in the modern world, I wouldn't have to begin my worldbulding from scratch, I'd already have a rather firm foundation from which to begin my tale.

However, since the setting is rooted in the real world, as most authors, I must carefully justify how magic exists without majorly altering history, and that kind of thing. As such, it's far more restrictive in the creative sense. And sense I'd be using real world locations, it lacks a certain level of excitement one might get from exploring a completely new world. Plus, a alot of main character archetypes of been done to death, reluctant chosen one, brooding anti-hero, etc. Though, I guess that's true in any genre really.

High Fantasy, entices me in an entirely alternate manner as this takes place in an entirely separate world, it gives me a certain level of freedom that allows me to be uninhibited. By being able to construct my own history for the entire world, I can experiment, and truly think outside the box. If I do decide to continue this route, I already intend to maintain the story within a Clockpunk based setting with cities and vehicles such as air ships, so I've got a few ideas cooking up. More world-altering events, as while it does happen from time to time in Urban Fantasy, it's not very likely since the whole point is for the magical world to be kept hidden away from the modern world.

However,In this version, my character would still have amnesia, however he would be brought into the fold of the organization a decent bit earlier, meaning exposition would be a bit more difficult as I would need to find a way to explain it without, being so blase and obvious about it. The worldbulding would take far longer with a skeleton to base the world off such as the real world. The pacing is also a bit slower, as I need to give my readers time to adjust and better understand the flow of this new world. Also this last one is more personal, but the clothing. I would just prefer it if my characters, teenager, could just wear normal jeans, shirts sneakers in their off time, rather having to wear high boots, or ridiculously elaborate cloaks all the time, which is kind of difficult outside of the modern world. It's far easier to describe the kind of clothing.

(If I end up not choosing High Fantasy, I may save it down the line for a kind of Sky Pirate idea, I've had it in the back of my head for a while now.)

Well, that's my two cents. I'd really appreciate any and all assistance in trying to make a properly informed choice.

Basically what the title said. I'm working on this new fantasy novel--A Trace of Magic and don't have a single idea on how to start. I have the entire worldbuilding figured out and it's kind of like Harry Potter but not. There are three ranks (not just in Pendragon but in general): Sorcerers (those born with magic and dwell in the shadow world Tirghundol). Believers, regular people who believed in magic enough to manifest it and Mundanes--people with no magic. I took obvious inspo from HP. So, the school is Pendragon Academy where the hierarchy literally governs every part of the academy and Mundanes are rarely ever accepted into any magical institution. But definitely not Pendragon--the oldest and most respected school. Noah Kensington is only allowed in because he got perfect scores on his exam and his parents are really bloody rich. He has an older sister who is in her fifth year (She's 17) and is a Believer. So, definitely some resentment there. And he gets bullied a lot. And his bully is a mix of Middle school Bakugou Katsuki and Draco Malfoy two of my favourite characters. Throughout Tirghundol Believers and Sorcerers have been shopping up dead ranging from 13-25. And Noah's crush becomes one of them (btw she's in her final year meaning she's 19, already dating someone and a sorcerer, so, it was never going to happen). But she doesn't fit into the other victims. So, it's basically him trying to figure out wtf happened. While dealing with school shit. And there's a plot twist at the end I won't reveal but I'm super proud of it. And I have no idea how to start it.

I’m fairly new to writing my own narratives and I want to make sure that my story doesn’t sound too cliche and that it catches the reader’s attention. I would really appreciate some helpful feedback on how I could improve this intro.

————————————————————————

Virgil’s breath came in ragged gasps as he weaved through the crowd knocking over carts and dodging disgruntled merchants. Behind him guards of a local noble followed.

“There! Don’t let him get away!” one of them bellowed.

Virgil gritted his teeth. He didn't plan on getting caught. He vaulted over a cart sending fruit into the street, and took a quick left followed by sharp right leading to an alleyway with a stack of crates. He leaped up on the unstable pile and pulled himself onto the brick roof as the guards grabbed at his feet. The town of closely packed houses looked like a maze from above chimneys puffed out billows of smoke and narrow alleyways below seemed to be a dark abyss. He swiftly jumped from rooftop to rooftop barely breaking stride. Some guards had almost caught up, and others yelled at the thief from below. Virgil had been running for so long he eventually stopped paying attention to the little things—like where he should stop.

The last rooftop ended abruptly overlooking a fatal drop into the busy street below. He stopped at the edge and looked over his shoulder to find more guards climbing up and getting closer. He had to do something, and he had to do it fast. Virgil took a deep breath, cupped his hands around his mouth and let out a sharp, high pitched bird call.

Then, he jumped

The guards let out sounds of confusion and laughter. Why would he do such a thing? As the ground grew closer Virgil was worried that he’d meet the cobblestone below—then a blur of dark feathers filled his vision. A set of talons grabbed onto his shoulders and took him into the open air right before he touched the ground.

Virgil let out a sigh of relief.

The story happens in Lumina, the deathcore of a star given life by its sibling Solus.

The first intelligent species divided its entirety into Six descending lineages/races. This was done since their original forms were way too resource-intensive for the cycle of life.

Eons pass, and after several apocalyptic events, society rebuilds itself with heavy separation between races

Celestials (one of the six lineages) get into work and create a pseudo-clone of the first intelligent species. The base model is the same, but they are extremely limited.

This new species becomes the majority and second-class citizens of the world. Most are low class, and only those who exhibit talent can be considered by the lineages.

Society is ultimately based entirely on genetics. If you aren't genetically gifted, you might as well not exist. It is unfair, and it has made the boundaries between morality and power basically non-existent.

Morality is dictated by whoever has the resources and power to impose their will upon others; crimes are only crimes if the people whose rights are being violated have the power and will to stop them.

There a certain level of decency born from a mix of arrogance and the logical conclusion that the world might implode if everyone just does whatever the hell they want

The story's main character is a boy named Orion, a kid from the cloned species, born in the artic ring of the world and sold to some slaver by his parents in exchange for the equivalent of 50 bucks and a pack of cigarettes.

He met a conscious being created by the celestials hidden from everyone, a lady born to do a task that couldn't be done anymore, thus losing all-purpose. Without purpose, she cannot produce more energy to sustain herself, so she is forced to use as little energy as possible unless she wants to stop existing. She has no soul; once she dies, she is going to be forgotten by everyone but the kid.

Both of them have no prospects in life or possibilities. She is condemned, and he doesn't have any resources. She decides that she will give him the resources with what little she has, all the knowledge that could help him grow in a world with only stiff mountains.

Since he is only a kid, she needs a way to reach him properly.

She chooses Chess.

She has been playing chess with him one time per day for 10 years straight.

The mc's mentality comes from every single chess match he played with her mentor/mother.

He is weak and fragile.

Every single thing he achieves comes with a cost, making it a gambit

His biggest tool is his mind. Therefore, he has to visualize every single goal and thing he wants to achieve.

Theres only a thing that can surpass talent and it is desire, everything is built out of it, maybe reality itself, existing out of the desire of just growing.

"You can't control how you were born, but you can control how you respond."

"You can be more than what the world expects from you."

The mc goal is just to prove to the world that he *exists*, he fears being forgotten in time as if his thoughts and ideas never existed. He wants to stop that loneliness that came with him as a birthright.

with all this is mind I came up with three possible names.

"The Aurean Idola" Idola means "Vision" and Aurean comes from Aurelians, The first intelligent species that basically started all. The Aurean Idola would reference the Vision Aurelians had for the future, a world that grew way beyond the stars in unity and glory. It also can reference how each character has a Ideal vision of how they want their lives to be.

"The Golden Gambit" This one focuses more on the protagonist, given the whole story starts with him taking a gamble, sacrificing something in exchange for an actual possibility of a future for his dreams. He keeps making sacrifices in order to achieve that goal.

"Firmament's Checkmate" Stars and Astrology are also an important element of the story, and given how important chess is for the mc's characterization, I thought it could fit nicely. The whole story is just big chess game that Orion plays against his reality

I’m currently working on a new idea that revolves around dragons or more specifically dragon shifters. I wanted the dragons to be more human in some aspects which is how I landed on shifters. This is a romantasy not just fantasy and I wanted the fmc to be bonded to a shifter that is hopelessly in love with her and have it be a kind of forbidden romance. Where I’m struggling is that I want romantic relationships between a rider and their bonded to be illegal but I can’t find a good reason for that to be the case. I have thought about it being an issue of wanting to keep bloodlines pure or mixing species but that’s all I can come up with. If anyone has any other ideas it would be greatly appreciated!

I’m currently working on a new idea that revolves around dragons or more specifically dragon shifters. I wanted the dragons to be more human in some aspects which is how I landed on shifters. This is a romantasy not just fantasy and I wanted the fmc to be bonded to a shifter that is hopelessly in love with her and have it be a kind of forbidden romance. Where I’m struggling is that I want romantic relationships between a rider and their bonded to be illegal but I can’t find a good reason for that to be the case. I have thought about it being an issue of wanting to keep bloodlines pure or mixing species but that’s all I can come up with. If anyone has any other ideas it would be greatly appreciated!

I have not written much, but I had this idea a few weekends ago and felt the urge to write it down. I've subsequently reviewed it for spelling and grammar and think I've cleaned up the major issues in those categories. What I'd really like some feedback on is the general flow of the story. I like writing but have never really done so for any significant number of people, so I don't have a great gage for what works and what doesn't. There are ideas in here that seem clear to me that may not to a reader. Any feedback you could provide on how the story flows, how the world is set up, how "real" the characters feel, and anything else you think would help me write better in the future would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Here is a Google Drive link, hopefully I did this correctly:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1OcG4DRN5qBF0RppuREXllkSYjJV5v5Ds/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=103730045551863653198&rtpof=true&sd=true

I’m working on a witch series and each of my witches have different disciplines

I want to do 13 types of magic. 1.Knot Magic(using the threads in the fabric of the universe to create an outcome) 2.Representational Magic(using object to cast your spells. Think voodoo dolls.) 3.Ancestral Magic-The spiritual power of your family 5.Necromancy-power from the dead(the fresher the dead the more potent the magic) 6.conjuration-Conjuring and summoning of spirits and demons and objects to accomplish your goal 7.Elemental magic-power from nature itself 8.physical magic-the power to manipulate the very properties of matter to your will 9.Folk magic-Draws from food and drink (potions and food)

I want a nice round number so if someone can give me a few more ideas? I can’t think of some other specialty. I have tried researching but I can’t find something good enough that fits.

Link to chapter: https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vQKVRx3I-SZ9FHRCgCI8j7u0xfBSDUGEUlYK0KbgGzvk1PKvlX6RgGG7C7-59z-ABr1LolJpFERRl5x/pub

A couple of days ago, I posted my very first piece of fiction writing, and the comment I received (and am extremely thankful for) was, well, brain-rewiring.

I've been re-writing and updating the chapter for days. I feel like there's progress. My goal was to keep the worldbuilding to a minimum and better show the character (and to make it her voice instead of mine) and hopefully ground the reader better.

Most importantly, I'd like to know if this (any part or as a whole) held your interest?

Tear me asunder :), it's the second best way to grow (apart from writing more).

I thank you in advance for your valuable time.

I've left the original draft version in the document at the end (I don't need feedback on that one, but I left it there in case anyone is interested in the "before & after" first critique).

Hello! I am attempting to write my first fantasy series and I am exhilarated by the thought of finally putting my thoughts and ideas into something others can experience. However, I am having a hard time with the naming part of this process when it comes to different kingdoms and races or even characters. This project does include multiple realms including a mortal realm and 3 different Fae realms. I have come up some ideas for the name of one of the kingdoms, one of which is Dathamor. This idea came to me while I was searching for the word “color” in different languages and stumbled upon Dath which is Celtic. The reason I chose to search the word color is due to that particular race of Fae being colorful and their kingdom is full of color. I’m definitely not set on it but I have no other ideas coming to my mind. I have tried a few different generators to get some ideas flowing but I haven’t found anything that really feels right. Any advice on naming city’s, kingdoms, or even characters would be greatly appreciated!

Link to except: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Bf7kW1re2llWtGonEvgYNko8BBpJNwjsfxVgDEu10Aw/edit?usp=drivesdk

I'm introducing a new aspect of my magic system to the readers, something that it's hard to simply show, because for it to be put to use the main character would have to do something that it doesn't make sense to try without any actual reason to do so. The equivalent of swallowing a random pill he found on the ground. I tried to turn in that exposition on the new aspect of my magic system into moment of characterization in connection between my two main characters. Specifically having one of my characters be aware of what is being explained but also having a personal connection to it in her past. Where is the other is both of trying to learn and trying to understand her feelings on the matter.

Ideally, the result would be an explanation that feels like a fairly natural conversation between two people, and characterization that feels like a reasonable response to the explanation. My biggest worry is that it ends up being over explaining or unnecessarily expositive twice over.

Honestly, the characterization is a bit more important. The explanation being not perfect, can be rectified by demonstration but if the character interaction isn't working then it means that the scene needs an overhaul. Part of the problem is that I started writing the scene from the perspective of just explaining, but it ended up becoming something that they think does more Justice to the story but I wonder if it distracts from itself. I also really worried that I got a bit due on the nose and cheesy at the end, the sentiment I'm trying to express is something that is a bit personal in a way so I wouldn't be surprised if I overdid it.

What are the current literary codes around too much Sword Aura in fantasy?

Good morning, I am writing a Fantasy story and I would like to know more about the Sword Aura trope, it is a popular ability in manhwa for swordsmen and I would like to understand as much as possible the basics, specifics and elements recurring issues concerning it.

There are two reasons for this: 1 • I wish to know the subject in its smallest nooks and crannies, to know its essence and to turn away from it voluntarily if I wish and not by omission. 2 • In the story that I am writing, there are other elements of power such as Qi or Mana, which also have their own codes and specificities, and I wish to distinguish each concept.

So here are a few questions to focus the subject a little more: “What are the most recurring codes in writing a work with Sword Aura?” : What is Sword Aura, how can we define it simply? How does it work, what is its role/functions? How is it acquired, mastered, unlocked, developed?

I will take any information you have to give me. Feel free to share fandoms and works.

Thank you in advance for your contributions, they will be valuable to me.

Ps: I have Reddit translate my messages because I speak French, there may be misunderstandings following an imperfect translation, I apologize.

This is an excerpt from a larger story I have been thinking about for long time. It is extremely dialogue heavy, and leans towards hard sci-fi. After taking user feedback, I proofread to make it feel smooth and errorless, and I am reposting it.

I was hesitant of labeling it as Hard sci-fi, but I am just going with that lable for now, atleast I made an attempt, lol. Would love your opinion on this.

DISCLAIMER: despite my username, Vos Gezaus is not a self insert. It was a name too good to waste.

EXCERPT

In the large conference room, the atmosphere was very tense. Sheets of paper were scattered across the giant table everyone was sitting around, a lot of buzzing and chattering could be heard.

One of the interns moved towards Mr. Heinwrought and asked, "How long can we delay our prediction?"

"Delay is out of the question. With the level of noise rotus is showing, consensus stands at 3 field vector assumptions and a two-body correction. We fear a three-body correction; if it were to happen, we are going to have rough months ahead."

"Months?"

"A Correction is a mere estimation of the influence of unknown bodies on Kraiess Morg's spacetime. These influences are condensed into a single body, a two body or a three body correction for simplicity in phase 3 calculations. Higher body count means spacetime around Kraiess Morg is highly chaotic. Not only will predictions fail faster, but each correction will be vastly different from the previous one"

Mr. Heinwrought sighed.

"Its bad, unpredictable Heurian trajectories means more unpredictable anomalies. Mountains could hang upside down, the entire city of Cryford could be underwater, and we will have no foresight. I requested Haliver morg to have engineers with us today, but I am certain no one will say that their precious billion-dollar analog computer might have a problem. Somehow they will shift the blame to us. Unfortunately, we have to try everything we can in this dire situation."

Vos Gezaus, the engineer, in his royal robe, with his two metallic hands wearing thick white clothing, which appeared to be growing from where his wings attach to the bone,entered the conference hall.

"I suppose we should start the conference," said Haliver morg, sitting at the end of the giant table.

"Good afternoon, everyone," started Mr. Musker. "As you might know, the readings and our calculations are diverging beyond acceptable error. How many of you have gone through the calculations?"

Everyone at the table raised their hand except Gezaus. "My bad, I didn't have the calculations with me."

"It would have been better if you had done some research, Mr. Gezaus."

"Research? You cheeky f***** barely gave me time to find my clothes. A conference at noon, and when am I informed? The NOON!"

"I am sorry, Mr. Gezaus, but emergencies don't occur at our convenience..."

"Ahem!," shouted Haliver morg. "Mr. Gezaus, the nature of these predictions is, unfortunately, very chaotic. This conference was called immediately after Mr. Musker suspected a three-body correction. While Mr. Musker continues the conference, you could go through the calculations. Mr. Musker, please hand him the calculations."

With a disgruntled face, Mr. Musker went to Gezaus and threw papers in his lap. He then went back to his place to continue the conference.

"As some of the scientists have suggested, we might have to implement a three-body correction. But since it's a big decision, I want everyone's opinion on this because it won't be easy within the given timeframe."

Scientists started debating.

"I propose we could first try correcting the influence of gravitational fields to reduce the noise in calculation."

"Never in the history of calculating with the rotus have we had to account for that sort of correction. The room has been calibrated for years; what could suddenly shift the readings?"

“It's based on Torison balance, a baby mouse twenty feet underground could shake the readings”

"Were the protocols followed correctly?"

"Yes, they were followed correctly; the calculations have been consistent each time we did it."

" We should increase the step count in previous week's calculations and redo them!"

"Mr. Oliver, I would like to remind you that we don't have time. Redoing previous calculations? That's just impractical."

"Should we adopt Tersi's correction before we conclude a three-body correction?"

"Tersi's correction was when rotus wasn't large; in today's rotus, Tersi's correction could take a lot of time, far more than what we could give"

“Yes, but we have a sufficiently large team………”

“The team can't spend all it’s time on second phase Mrs. Bogner. Besides, Tersi's correction will add more complexity.”

"Borrison assumption?"

"Borrison assumption, again, would add more time without a clear answer."

"The noise levels have been steadily increasing for some time; Borrison assumption, the possibility of multiple smaller bodies increasing the noise, is very real ."

"Yes, the noise has been increasing, but we can't rely on untested methodologies and ideas."

“Borrison assumption, is a very real possibility, I don't think you should dismiss it quickly Mr. Fruge.”

“Then tell me, How are you going to account for it? The readings, even assuming void ambient gravity, is chaotic, Borrison is definitely not the case here”

"I believe we should upgrade the second phase of rotus."

"What about today's prediction then?"

"Can I ask a question?" asked Gezaus, raising his hand.

"You just asked," said Musker. "Focus on reading the calculations, Mr. Gezaus; maybe you will find your answer."

"Well, how long has it been since your wife kicked you out! I don't think the answer is written on these papers."

The hall burst into laughter.

"Excuse me! Do you think this is a joke?"

"Maybe you think this is a joke. When I say, Can I ask a question, I demand everyone's attention because I am asking a question! That's basic etiquette, but homeless people don't understand etiquette."

"Mr. Gezaus you are crossing the line.......".

"Ahem!" said Haliver morg. "Mr. Gezaus you may continue."

"I want to ask, which one of you proposed a three-body correction?"

Some scientists, including Mr. Heinwrought and Mr. Musker, raised their hands.

"How confident are you that it's a three-body correction?"

The room was silent for a while. This question tensed the atmosphere.

Mr. Heinwrought broke the silence, "We are certain that a two-body or a single-body correction will suffice."

"And what about higher degree correction?" Everyone who had raised their hand had grim faces. "A three-body correction is the most our team could handle; any higher degree correction is not possible within the given time frame. Each correction needs exponentially more time."

Mr. Heinwrought was pissed. "Has he taken our infrastructure for granted? To correct mistakes by the rotus, we have to work overtime?" he thought, but kept it all to himself, because with Gezaus's display of anger, he knew his words would only cause more drama.

"The possibility is out of the question right now; I want to know how confident scientists are in calling it a three-body correction, because these readings feel too chaotic to conclude anything."

"We have come to a similar conclusion, Mr. Gezaus," said Mr. Heinwrought. "The calculations do hint a higher body correction might be needed. Though it does not matter because a higher body correction is impossible. "

"I understand," said Gezaus. "I think we all should acknowledge that machines are not perfect." Mr. Heinwrought had his ears upright hearing this sentence. "How many of you all know about Leinfords argument?"

Some young people raised their hands. Most older hands stayed low. "I have heard it, but can't recollect it." said one scientist.

"I like when young people show curiosity. I don't blame others for not remembering Leinfords argument. His argument is not discussed today because the rotus has worked as intended for so long we never encountered a situation where we considered it."

Gezaus continues "Corrections are traditionally assumed to originate far from Kraiess Morg’s neighborhood, because we consider our vicinity well-mapped. However, Leinford asked, what if the source of influence is within our vicinity? He proposed that, due to strings suspending the model, the weight of these strings might create a butterfly effect and affect the position of a hypothetical correction, if it is within our neighborhood, and its influence will appear noisy. While known bodies in our neighborhood can be corrected, an unknown body inside this vicinity would be extremely difficult to point at. Its influence, if below a threshold mass, will appear fuzzy, or just pure chaos. Unfortunately, rotus didn't account for as many planets as it does now, so the error was insignificant back when he proposed it . But now, it looks like our knowledge of our vicinity is being challenged."

Gezaus concludes "I urge scientists to not rely on rotus for the second phase of calculation and instead manually calculate the second phase till we verify or debunk this error."

In an instant, loud shouting could be heard from the room. Everyone seemed to shout at each other, and Gezaus still managed to come out on top. His face was red and fuming with anger, while cursing every living thing that appeared walking in his eyes. At one point He started cursing the table, because he shook his head so hard, he thought the table started walking.

"Ahem!" Shouted Haliver morg."Please maintain decorum."

"This is ridiculous! What if manual calculation makes the results even worse?"

"It's worth giving it a try."

"It's tedious; still, maybe less tedious than three-body correction, but it is tedious, and there's no guarantee we might still not need a three-body correction after that."

"It's a gamble."

Haliver morg asked, "How many people accept this idea?"

Very few hands were raised. Amongst them was Heinwrought. "Mr. Heinwrought, you seem to show interest in this proposition; is there a reason?"

"I believe in Vos Gezaus's idea. The noise levels have been steadily increasing. If a correction being closer to our neighborhood is the reason, I think we should investigate it."

"Mr. Heinwrought, I have less reasons to believe it's a gamble; I looked into the calculations, and within the noise, there appears a radial pattern," said Gezaus.

"YOU ARE SEEING THINGS LITTLE BIRD!"shouted Musker.

Luther!" shouted Heinwrought. " Take the values, and do a frequency test on them, IMMEDIATELY, and Mr. Gezaus, if you are seeing a fuzzy radial pattern, I need you to mark the approximate centre. LUTHER, I need FIVE concentric circles around the centre, each with increasing radius, and test for bias in values within each circle."

"Sir, can I do a three?"

"FIVE I SAID!"

"I need some time, sir."

"Fifteen minutes, that's all you have."

"Mr. Heinwrought, I understand Gezaus might have a point, but could we do this later? For now just proceed with a three-body correction"

"Mr. Musker, with all due respect, a three-body correction is very chaotic. I don't think in the near future I could revisit the calculations again."

"Mr. Heinwrought," said Haliver morg. "I understand the urgency, but it looks like the task you have given the lad is too much for him within the timeframe. I propose we wait an hour, and Luther, I suggest you thoroughly go through the calculations in that time. The conference will resume in an hour."

"An Hour! Mr Heinwrought, are you sure?"

"It will settle the debate around Leinfords argument once and for all."

"Every minute is precious Mr. Heinwrought, we shouldn't be wasting hours, just because someone said so."

"If someone has seen a pattern in this mess, we should definitely investigate. Calculating the bias might give us a better direction, atleast, if it cannot prove or disprove Leinfords argument. The argument has merit, and I believe it should be tested."

"I agree, Leinfords argument has merit, but that doesn't mean it's the right time to test it."

"Calculating bias might be a good step nevertheless. Luther, what are you waiting for! start the calculations!"

Luther exited the room. Some still believed Mr. Heinwrought was wasting time, while some were in his favour. Gezaus was on his way back home. Mr. Heinwrought noticed it and tried stopping him. "Mr. Gezaus, the meeting will resume in an hour; you shouldn't leave right now."

"My job is done here; I told everything I had to."

"Mr. Gezaus, I would like to apologise on behalf of some scientists for being rude to you; please, it's no time to leave."

"Well, I don't have more to contribute, except if the chefs are great, I am more than willing to stay for a good lunch."

Heinwrought laughed. "Mr. Gezaus, we do have the finest chefs here; you will absolutely enjoy the lunch."

"In that case, I will sit here. You better not be lying."

Gezaus sat beside Heinwrought. Heinwrought firmed up a little and tried talking to the feathery genius beside him. "So Mr. Gezaus, I am interested; how did you come to the conclusion of Leinfords argument?"

"It's simple, Leinfords argument is an engineering flaw, which remained untested because rotus didn't always account for as many planets as it does today. When he was alive, his theory didn't matter, and after he passed away, no one bothered to test it. Us engineers have been reluctant to test it in modern times, but........ For that rotus needs to be LEFT ALONE!. And the expedition teams! They were confident they had our neighbourhood on Tsinorata mapped so well that a correction will never come this close to the centre, and here we stand!"

"I see Mr. Gezaus. It's a shame; sometimes the system created to foster scientific temperament could be so against science." .Both seemed to get along well. They together waited for calculations to come in.

As both of them were having a hearty conversation, and others murmured, Luther came running and shouted, "THERE IS A BIAS!". Panting and sweating as he took support of the table, he slammed a bunch of papers and shouted again, "The bias is there, and it's highest close to the centre Mr Gezaus pointed."

Everyone in the room looked baffled. Everyone wanted to reach out to the paper. The first few who looked at the paper seemed to have excitement in their eyes. The bias indeed existed, and the calculations were correct. "It's hard to conclude what influence that point is having on the rest of the bodies, but the influence does look like it exists." said one scientist.

"With all due respect, I don't think the debate is if influence exists or if it doesn't; the debate is, how we should approach the correction." said Musker "I still believe a three-body correction could be necessary, and manual calculations could delay that. Does the calculation explicitly point out that it's gravity? It could also mean outer bodies are aligned radially."

"Mr. Musker, I believe a correction close to the centre could be a fitting explanation. Yes, outer bodies could be aligned radially, but this is easy to test."

"Easy to test! Are you out of your mind! The only way to test it is to perform all calculations manually."

"It could be a colossal waste of time!"The conference again grew louder.

"Silence!" shouted Haliver morg."Let's have a show of hands. How many agree we should do a manual calculation?"

Several hands were raised. "And how many agree we should go straight for a three-body correction?"

Still, several hands were raised, but the consensus slightly favoured manual calculation.

"All right. We will manually calculate phase 2, skipping our reliance on rotus completely, before going to the third phase.”

So I have been wanting to write a book for a while now and have been having some trouble actually getting started. I would just like some advice from people who have written books or are writing books.

How do I get started, what's the number one thing I need to do/or overcome.

I unfortunately have noticed that I have a bit of World builders disease. I have an extremely extensive world with thousands of years of history and fully fleshed out and realized settings however when it comes to actually writing this stuff... Well, it's incredibly hard to sit down and actually do it!

I also have adhd when it comes to which story ideas I want to focus on. I have so many that it's hard to choose exactly one!

What should I do in this situation...should I offer a pitch for each story and just see which has the most interest... should I do all of them but never get any of them done.

I saw a video with Brandon Sanderson that said most writers, write at least three stories before they actually publish a book. Should I do that?

Also... I don't know how to set up a schedule for it. I have an extremely taxing job and come home completely worn out everyday. When at work the ideas just flow to me but I can't actually sit down and write it all out. Until I get home... but then I'm just too exhausted.

Any help? What do yall do?

Hello, I'm working on my 1st novel, a Gothic Romantic Fantasy novel with dashes of horror.

I'm stuck on this scene of the first interaction between my two main characters, mostly in writing about her being horrified that releasing the being she prayed for isn't help her like she believed.

I believe she comes out more ad frustrated. So, I wonder if anyone has advice and insight on what I can add to make this stand out.

I have researched a lot about fear and anxiety and people's natural physiological responses, but I feel like I'm not putting it into writing.

Also, any other general writing advice or critiques you want to throw at me is much appreciated.

[Start of Excerpt]

Thalia looked at him then, really looked at him. He was perfect: near-white hair, skin so pale it looked like marble, and eyes bluer than the sapphire jewels her mother would keep hidden.

Yes, Miah was the perfect representation of an angel, at least the type that her pastors would preach about during Sunday's Sermon—the type that would help the laity and answer the prayers of the righteous.

Yet, he stood before her with that unblinking blue stare, not a care in the world after telling her he would not rescue the kingdom and its good people.

“Are you serious?” She hoped this was a small prank joke before he set out to banish the infernal creatures that had taken root in Styria.

“I promised never to lie to you, " he tilted his head. I have no intention of rescuing that kingdom.” He almost seemed bored as he responded, as if he had denied her a simple meal and not damned the lives of thousands of innocents.

“Come now,” he offered his hand to her. “It is getting late, and I know you need sleep.” Thalia stared at his pale fingers, and suddenly, a sickness appeared.

“But I prayed for you, " she said, though it sounded more like a question. I asked for you to save the kingdom.”

The Angel gave her a look that could only be described as pity before it was quickly replaced with indifference.

“No, my sweet Eden, you did not ask me to save Styria.” His hand was still held out to her, patiently waiting for her to accept him.

“Do you not recall, you all asked for safe-keeping for your loved ones and you.”

“I -” She wanted to dispute his words but recalled that fateful night when she sought to summon a protector. She mentioned many things and people in her plea: her mom, aunt, cousins, even the young princess, along with the few friends she had made in Styria, but she never asked for someone to save the kingdom.

“That shouldn't matter,” She said, backing away from him. “You're an angel of the Lord. Shouldn't you want to rid the kingdom of this demonic infestation?”

Miah frowned, though Thalia wasn't sure if it was because of her words or because she had refused his hand.

She would get her answer a few moments later as he crossed the distance between hers and took her hands in his. His touch was soft but firm, and she understood immediately that breaking out of his grasp would be impossible.

“Better,” he said, whispering the reassurance more to himself than anything before focusing his attention back on Thalia's mirthless face.

Leaning down, he brought her closer to him until he could feel her breath across his skin and the beat of her heart against her chest. Her smell was more pungent up close, and it took all of his willpower not to give into his more base urges and claim her. Instead, Miah tilted his head down until his lips brushed against the young girl's ears, causing her to let out a soft gasp and become rigid in his arms.

“Most demons were angels at some point,” he whispered. “Your clerics and priests might think we are different, but there are more similarities than you realize .”

He could feel her heart speed up at his words, and for a moment, he wondered if he should stop. Humans were fragile, delicate little things; the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. Still, he had to nip away her thoughts and dreams of saving that kingdom in the bud.

“We angels are practical but selfish creatures. My only concerns are carrying out my duties and keeping you near,” he continued. Slowly, he started to trail kisses down the side of her face until he reached her neck. He wanted to leave a mark there, something that would mark him temporarily as his, but he knew that would only frighten her more.

“I will keep those you requested safe as long as you stay here, but I have no desire to save a kingdom sold to a demon by its king.”

There is a bit to unpack so I'll start simply with the characters, I'm choosing five from the story for their narrative presence and their physical presence as well as how important they are to the overall story, before moving on to giving descriptions of the central locations of the story:

Characters:

Jesse Holbrooke: A teenage boy who rescues the king and is thrusted into a life of absolute luxury and power as a reward. Though his intentions are noble, he is headstrong, naïve about the delicate and dangerous political landscape around him and ambitious.

Ellia Merivus: The firstborn child and the daughter of the king, Talos VII who Jesse rescues at the beginning of the story. She is a compassionate and well-meaning character however, she is a victim of parental neglect and has little self worth. She has a love for knowledge and demonstrates her abilities to be a good leader, despite her misery throughout the story. Ellia eventually finds happiness in the form of a relationship with Jesse, however she is forced to decide if her own personal happiness is more important than the future of the kingdom and it's colonies.

Damon: A mysterious old warrior who provides guidance and life lessons to Jesse, as well as training him in different kinds of combat. He alludes to a past of horror and slavery and has a deep seated hatred towards authority, especially towards those of royal lineage whom he sees as monsters.

Oryn Crow: This character does not appear until much later in the book(s). He is however referenced a lot in the second novel, through the pov of a separate character. Both he and the reader learn of Oryn's nature through his actions; entire villages razed, entire colonies of people left dead in the wilderness. Even the people from the land which he hails, a land renown for it's harsh and violent culture, fear him. Though not physically present, he maintains a massive narrative one throughout the second part of the story and up until his appearance in part three, he only known to be brutal, violent, cunning and mysterious.

Robert Lancotter: he is the uncle of Ellia, the bastard son of a powerful lord. Robert is a person who is defined by insecurities. His entire life he has lived in the shadows of people who he hates: The Lancotter family, one who are revered for their wealth and power in the political landscape of the kingdom Arvados. Robert spends his entire life trying to get admiration from his father, but despite his best efforts always fails. While he will outwardly boast about being a black sheep, it is deep down, one his biggest insecurities and though he poses as an independent, sharp witted politician, he is truthfully a man who desperately craves the love of a man who truly hates him.

Zorro Yeruseluen: Another character who has a massive narrative presence, but no physical presence as by the time the story starts, he has been dead for decades. Arvados is a country ruled with tyranny and Zorro a "man of the people" rose to power and inadvertently began the largest and bloodiest conflict that Arvados has seen (yet). Born a bastard but legitimized, he gave his people more freedoms and liberties than anywhere else in the kingdom, this began a tidal wave of protests and uprisings of peasantry, fighting against their rulers, known as the "War of the Petty King." Zorro's ideals and philosophies weigh heavily on several parts of the world who have also tried and failed to separate themselves from Arvados and it's archaic system of government, such as Astoch where Jesse is from.

Locations/ settings:

The first part of the story has only two primary locations: Arvados and Astoch, which is what I will focus on.

Arvados: It is a victorian era kingdom, one of the most powerful empires in the world. It's system of government is one that is oppressive and violent, as power is divided amongst lords who all serve a single monarch, the king. The ruling house of Arvados is House Merivus and they share the power with five other houses, one of them being House Lancotter. For 500 years, Arvados has functioned this way, not evolving politically despite their technological advances and control in the world.

Astoch: A colony of Arvados, based off the American Frontier. A decade prior to the story's start, a rebellion started by the people fed up with the oppressive nature of Arvados occurs. They used the philosophies of human rights shared by the since dead Petty King Zorro as the foundation of their attempted new government, however the war ended not in their favor. Some areas of Astoch are tame, hosting civilizations loyal to Arvados, but there are pockets, especially out in the far reaches of the west that are bitter from the war and try to distance themselves as much from the kingdom as they possibly can.