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Hello, I am a trans man (21) who’s been on T for about 2 years now and need to get top surgery, I have a surgeon picked out and everything. My problem is I genuinely have no friends or family to help. I live in central rural PA and will need to drive to Pittsburgh for this. I genuinely have no one to drive me back or help with recovery. My best friend of 10 years who was my roommate got a better job in Iowa and abandoned me without telling me they were going out of state. They told me they applied to a job but lied and said it was for a managerial position at their current location. Maybe it’s selfish of me but I always assumed I’d be able to rely on them to help me with this. Anyway does anyone have any advice on how I can accomplish this? Especially with recent events I need to do this ASAP especially, I genuinely don’t think I’ll be alive much longer if I don’t. I just don’t know how I’m going to drive back from Pittsburgh alone after surgery. Any and all advice is appreciated thank you.

So I’ve had all of my documents changed since 2022 and have been stealth and on T for 3 years now, but never changed my gender marker with social security. It is the only thing that hasn’t been changed yet and I do not own a passport.

The lady at the social security office said it wouldn’t matter much with my birth certificate and ID reflecting the correct gender markers because SSA are the only people who can see that marker anyways..? I have already been registered with the selective service due to my license change (didn’t really want that but it’s mandatory when you get a new one) and there was no indication of male or female with it or online.

A friend told me that Florida is already retracing documents for “originals” to use against people? I live in Ohio but have already had issues proving to my job’s insurance/HR that I’m male and getting both my hormones and birth control covered due to markers labeled wrong and flagging prescriptions. No one could say if it was updated like that by person or automatic from my social security number, but HR fixed it in the system…

I was wondering if I should go ahead and change my marker with social security before Trump takes office again? Can my F marker be used against me for future insurance or other things I’d need approved for or could this have been a one time problem? Will changing it possibly deter others from looking into my previous document changes?

I was wondering if anyone has insight on how that marker could affect me in the future, thanks :)

I really wanted to start T at 14, but for parental reasons, I couldn't. Losing out on all that has of course made me sad, but!

I will never be someone who peaked in high school. I'm not even peaking now and it's my Freshman year of college. When I'm 4 years on T I'll be in my senior year! I just get to be hot when my frontal lobe is fully developed.

so i had top surgery about a week ago, and i opted for t anchor/inverted t because having the best chance of preserving nipple sensation was a big goal for me. day after surgery, my nipples were looking a bit dark, may have been because i wasn't pressing them every hour (thank you nurse for not telling me!), but likely fixable and only one was looking iffy. my surgeon put some heparin on my dressing and sent me on my way. i ended up going in for my first pre-op early because i just had a bad feeling about my nipples, and i was right - they weren't taking blood flow, and we ended up releasing some stitches in the hope that would help. went back in a couple days later, still weren't looking good, released the whole t section of stitches. my surgeon said that she's never had this happen before with patients as long as they're keeping up with pressing the nipples every hour (which i was once i knew i had to!). she says she has no idea if they'll pull through or not.

i was wondering if anyone else had t anchor and lost their nipples, or had major complications but they pulled through. or had one nipple survive and the other not (my left is looking better than the right, and honestly im more scared of the idea of one surviving and the other not. i hate my body being uneven) i haven't really seen anyone talk about nipple recovery post t anchor. i'm not gonna lie, i'm feeling really down about it as keeping my nipples was very important to me. i could probably deal with some lost feeling, but the idea of having to reconstruct them entirely makes me really sad. i'm scared i'm going to regret this surgery that i've wanted for so long because i ended up having bad luck.

I know the discussion of “what do you call your downstairs” comes up a lot. What I’m specifically asking is does anyone call their front hole their “a$$”? I ask because it’s hooked up with a trans guy a while back and told him to “f*** my a**” but he put in my front hole instead and I was super uncomfortable about it, I was able to vocalize that that wasn’t what we agreed to but it really messed with my head; if he was cis I would have assumed he just wanted that hole and took it anyway, I wouldn’t call it assault but it wasn’t something I consented to either. He claimed that it was a miscommunication and that “trans guys call their p**** their a**”. Is this a common thing I’ve never heard of or did he intentionally violate my wishes? We hooked up a few times and he eventually said he didn’t like anal and pressured for piv sex so I kinda think he just wanted my front and went for it anyway. Again, I only gave him the benefit of the doubt because he was trans. Is there a better way to clarify that I want anal besides saying I want it in my butt? I do not want this to happen again, ever, and if it was my fault, I can prevent it from happening.

this may be a stupid question and the answer may be obvious, but to stop my overthinking i’m asking it just in case.

so, obviously, i’m trans ftm. i’ve been legally male for about 4 years now but with everything happening in the states i’m petrified.

i’m worried about the marriage equality rights being taken away- among other things of course- and just wanted to see if anyone had answers.

if there is a time when the equality rights are taken away, whether it be state or nation wide, would i be at risk of not being able to marry my girlfriend?

i’m legally a male, have been for years, but are there any chances of that being revoked?

a lot of my queer friends are setting their marriages and engagements just in case they’re unable to in the future, but they’re all mostly cis and in either lesbian or gay relationships. we’re technically/legally a straight/traditional couple, but if somehow those legal changes get overturned my rights will be at risk.

once again, may be a stupid question, but i just wanted to throw it out there to hopefully ease my thoughts with everything going on

so I started getting a very small amount of bleeding today along with some cramping (feels a lot like a period). but i haven't had a period since around January/February this year and no spotting for over 3 months (I had a birth control implant put in during January and started t about 3 months ago). im pretty sure its just a period/spotting coz I know from what others have described it can just come back randomly but I wonder if spotting and cramps can be signs of atrophy too, coz I've also been experiencing other atrophy symptoms like, discharge, itching and frequent urination/urgency with urination and some mild incontinence (like peeing a lil when I cough n stuff). im trying to find information online but its difficult coz almost all the information i can find is on atrophy in menopausal women witch i feel may be different in some aspects idk tho. any advice would be helpful, even if its just on how to feel a lil less dysphoric about it coz its got me in an absolute state rn and im feeling pretty damn ill as a result.

thank yall for reading this far c:

I called a surgeon’s office a few days ago to see if I could schedule a top surgery consult, to which they said that I would need to send them 2 letters of support before I would be able to schedule with them. Both over the phone and in the email they later sent me they claimed that they were abiding by WPATH SOC 8 in this requirement (actually in their email they set the bar even higher: “may require UP TO three letters of support written in WPATH criteria for your case to be reviewed”). I thought this was a little strange, as I could’ve sworn only one letter was required for adults, so I read WPATH SOC 8 myself. Unless my reading comprehension is in the ground, dead and buried, it clearly states that only one letter is required (which was a change from the 7th ed. which required two).

So I have two questions: 1) did I somehow misread and the surgeon’s office is correct in this case, and 2) if I am right, is it worth trying to point out to them? Honestly I wouldn’t even be able to get two letters bc I only have one healthcare provider atm who would actually be able to write a letter testifying to my transness and history and whatnot, and that would be my therapist. All my other providers are new and don’t really know much about me being trans other than the fact that I am.

Also I’m in the US, if that helps or changes things.

I was already planing on leaving my current state due to it being a part of the Bible Belt and now even more so due to the outcome of the election. I was thinking Minnesota kind be my calling.

I am non binary transmasculine. All of my gender markers are "F" and I've never thought about changing them because I don't intentify as either M or F. I went to my Dr yesterday and they suggested I change my gender marker to match how I look for my safety. I've been on T for 3-4 years. Look very much like a man. I'm in Wisconsin and currently it's quite an easy process - emphasis on currently. I am also married to a woman and have three kids - one I carried. I am on my wife's insurance through her work. If I change my gender marker, does that make my marriage a "straight marriage" so if something happens to marriage equality my family and I will be safer? I won't be kicked off my wife's insurance, I won't have to worry about my kids etc.... We have wills, POA etc so we are already covered there. I also am not changing my birth name which is "Maria" so my ID would very much be a tale of two worlds. Unless I come up with some interesting story about my parents being odd balls and giving me a girl's name when I was born - which actually may be fun to create. I have looked online to try to find answers to a lot of this but because of marriage equality, the answers I'm getting are more "everything is legal! Don't worry about it!" So figured I'd see if anyone on here has an idea.

I’ve got an stp freely which works FAIRLY well but I just got a Lou which I think after practice is going to work better for me, but it doesn’t fit so well in the cake bandit harness that fit the Freely so well. Anyone have any suggestions for harnesses that fit the freely well for daily wear? My urethra is super far back so I try to pack far back so I don’t have to maneuver too much at a urinal

I passed about 80% pre-T but now that I’m On T I pass 100% with everyone I w met in the last six months. My only concern is that my friend wants me to visit her in Florida, which is notoriously anti-trans. I can’t tell if I would be safer in the women’s room or the men’s (I only use men’s up here) as to which one would. Be more violent to me.

I’m leaning towards sticking to men’s rooms For safety but isn’t I’d Floridians are 8million percent more aggressive about the men’s bathrooms.,,,,,

Man I am SCARED to visit Florida and have to pee

I've been using a binder for about 2 months and I honestly don't know any of the rules except what google told me but i want to be told by real trans people. There have been many times where I haven't had time to take a break and I've gone over 15 hours with it on and it hurts so bad at that point. I guess what I'm getting at is what is like the absolute limit how long you can wear it vs the recommended time

(TW & TMI alert.)

I get some mild PMS symptoms occasionally but haven't actually bled; it stopped a few months on T. I keep getting scared it'll come back, I'll feel a bit damp down there and hurry to the bathroom and hope I don't need to buy pads and explain a big bloodstain on my butt to my coworkers while I pass, but it's actually just a little discharge or sweat and nothing leaked through.

I used to get extremely heavy periods and any pants and underwear I wore those weeks would look like I sat in a red puddle if I didn't set hourly alarms even when I was sleeping to change everything, or I'd wake up to a giant spot on my sheet each morning. It didn't matter how many super heavy overnight pads I covered the entirety of my underwear with, a couple hours and it'd be completely soaked. Regular thin pads lasted like twenty minutes, half an hour. I was always exhausted from it, all month, even with taking iron. Doctors said I was exaggerating and basically I'd be dying if it was really that bad and I was clearly fine. That I felt weak and slept all the time because of depression.

I'm over a year on T now and with my cycle stopping it's fixed all my related physical problems that were apparently nonexistent. I can function now when I couldn't before. I don't get so sick to my stomach and dizzy from cramps pain and blood loss that I can't move anymore. I don't have to buy new clothing bottoms and bedding and menstrual products every few weeks. It still pisses me off that nobody believed me though. There was something wrong. Most people's periods aren't a disability, probably more like an inconvenience. I'm glad it's over.

TLDR

My periods were super awful and they sucked and everyone said I was being dramatic. I'm relieved to be done with them thanks to T.

I got top surgery a few months ago behind my dad’s back. He just got a bill from insurance and texted me that he’s kicking me off the insurance and I have to pay him back for what the bill charges, as he’s made it perfectly clear he won’t pay for or have any part in “body mutilation surgery” (classic). Luckily I have good and pretty cheap basic care through my school clinic, though I’ve been struggling and very mentally unwell and was trying to get meds through my insurance coverage but now i can’t continue down that path, so now im scared of getting hospitalized without insurance. My mom knew about my surgery and assisted me as much as she could in preventing my dad from knowing. She texted me to call her after he texted me and I thought she was going to show me love and support but when I called her and started telling her that I’m going to figure out my insurance stuff so she doesn’t worry and that I’m looking for a job maybe that has insurance, but then she basically just berated me telling me that school and getting good grades and graduating on time has to be my number one priority and said i need to have priorities and basically that i don’t think about things or have my life together. That kind of broke my heart but it’s making it easier to figure out my steps going forward with my life, i was thinking of transferring and moving farther away but was help back by wanting to still be near my family, but now i am considering it again now that i don’t care as much about their presence in my life. I’ll be ok, it almost makes my life feel easier that this all felt apart

I’m grateful to live in (somewhat) blue California but when Trump is signed into office my safety is my top priority. I’m scared out of my mind to get hunted by his MAGA hat wearing cultists so obviously the only option I can think of is to move to Canada. It’s the closest and I can still come back to see my family… is this an insane idea? Is it even possible? Everything seems so messed up and impossible after the election… if anyone has any tips about getting tf out of the US…🥲

I feel weird about this and I need to get it off my chest (lmao, literally) I’ve always had pretty bad chest dysphoria,, but since starting T I’ve had less and less of it? Like yeah, I still bind for safety and comfortability reason but I quite like my man-boobs from time to time, and I definitely get the appeal of them. But at the same time I can’t wait to get top surgery?? It’s always on my mind like “I can’t wait to go to the beach without a shirt” or “I can’t wait to sleep/walk around outside topless” things like that ALL THE TIME despite having relatively little chest dysphoria. Is this normal? Am I crazy?

I’m 17. Got my legal sex changed in August. Trump wants to ban any changing of sex in the US and base it purely off your sex at birth. When I got my sex changed it was at the same time I got my name legally changed (New York allows you to do it in one go) and I sealed the case records afterwards. Is it possible for this change to be revoked or reversed by Trumps proposed laws? Or does the ban only apply to future attempted changes?

Also, I’m on Testosterone. I won’t turn 18 until 2.5 months after Trump is put into office. Does he have the power to ban underage HRT even in really blue states like New York

Hi all. I feel a little nervous to come here but I’m removing my binding tape for the first time and it is making me feel exactly how I expected times 100. But I’ve worn it longer than I should have and I know it’s time for it to come off. I just… really want some support through this and don’t have anyone really.

I’m a 15 year old living in Ontario and am looking for places that will prescribe me testosterone (preferably without the need for parental consent) and am having difficult finding a place because I’m not 16 yet. Any place recommendations or advice??

Ok, something needs to be said, because this is getting to be too much.
Stop blowing up at us for removing rule-breaking posts. Stop yelling at us for not letting you say whatever you want or make the sub exactly the way YOU want it. Stop expecting us to be some magical fairy godfathers who will make everything ok and know everything about everything and help everyone and their needs 24/7.

We are volunteers. We are doing this out of the kindness of our hearts and our love for the community. We are understaffed (and not getting any applications for new mods) and overwhelmed.

We are also trans people, just like you. We are also terrified of what's going to happen. We are also hurt when transphobes attack us. We are trying our best, people.

The rules we have are the way they are because throughout the years, we have listened to what the userbase wants. YOU are the reason why these rules are the way they are. We have made polls, questionnaires, and posts, and gotten your opinions. We made decisions based on the needs of the sub. While this may not be what every single individual person on this sub wants, it is what the majority wants.

Rules 1 and 2? Don't be a dick. Rule 3? Don't be a chaser, don't use this as a dating site, and don't try to shill your business (especially when we don't have the manpower to vet any businesses, discords, facebook pages, whatever else you want to advertise) Rule 4? Reddit's own rules. Rule 5? People literally voted on this. Nobody wanted those posts. Everyone hated them, so we removed them and people were happy. This is also to keep people safe, because transphobes are actively stealing our pictures to pose as us or to laugh at/harass/dox us. Rule 6? People were complaining about the massive amounts of vents on the sub. We asked what to do, and then I personally took on a whole second subreddit by myself (which again, we are not getting any new applications). I went through the process to get r/ftmventing reinstated for you. I didn't do it for myself. I knew you guys needed a place to vent. Rule 7? Back to "don't be a dick" Rule 8? Every single banned topic was banned because not only were they commonly starting fights in the sub, but they were voted on by the community in a questionnaire. You guys picked these topics. The only topic that is an exception is DIY HRT. Testosterone is a controlled substance in many places, including the US, which is where a large majority of our userbase is, as well as where Reddit itself is based. This it's illegal to buy or sell. As per reddit TOS, we are NOT allowed to discuss illegal things! Do you want this sub, THE SUB for ftms to get removed because reddit admins saw that we were "promoting illegal activity" on our sub? I would hope not.

Now, on to complaints about wait times for posts to be approved. We've been getting complaints about that recently. We've been trying to explain to people that because of the recent news, transphobes are brigading this sub way more than usual. So like all the other LGBT subs, we have had to set our security settings to max. Meaning more things are being filtered into the queue. This is to keep y'all safe. Nobody wants to see the shit we have to delete.

We see the transphobia so you don't have to. That's the job we've volunteered to do. When reddit's filters catch a transphobe, it's us who have to read the vile things they're saying and us who have to remove it before it hits the sub. You guys are very lucky you only see a few comments that get past the filters. You guys are lucky you don't see the contents of our modmail. Daily transphobia and harassment. And sometimes, reddit admins don't seem to want to do anything, so reporting these messages doesn't always mean these people won't come back.

And that brings me to the current events in the US.
We are under a lot of stress right now. Everything is terrifying, and not only do we as trans people in the US have to deal with THAT, but we also have to deal with an entire subreddit. (Most of us have to deal with MULTIPLE subreddits btw). We have to not only deal with transphobes, but also rule-breakers who throw a fit because a comment or post got removed for breaking the rules, and now people expecting us to be far more than we actually are.

The entire sub was filled with the same post, over and over again. We get it, you're scared. We all are. But 500 posts saying you're scared isn't helping. That's why the megathread was created. It's a temporary fix. Not a permanent one. Realistically that's all a mod team should be expected to do, for any other sub. But I personally have taken it upon myself to do more. This will take time. I'm working with other subs as well as other people who want to help, and we're going to be working on a comprehensive document combining all the information we can gather. Resources, hotlines, funding, safe places, laws, anything and everything we can find. But this will take time.

On a slightly personal note, I'd like to share a bit about myself. I'm 32 years old, I currently live by myself, because my fiance is in a different town for work. He literally just left on the 1st and I might not see him for a year. I suffer from extreme anxiety and depression, as well as dysphoria. I'm disabled, with chronic pain, hEDS, Asthma that is compounded by long covid, and I have PTSD and agoraphobia. I also have a full time physically and mentally exhausting job with an hour commute on the train each way, because I am unable to drive. The next two days are my days off, and while I'd like to rest, I'm most likely going to spend most of tomorrow researching this project. On monday, I'll be taking my bike down to the local LGBT+ center to ask for help with this research.
Yesterday, on the train home from work, I had a terrifying experience with a trump supporter. Note that I live in CA, so this is SUPPOSED to be a safe place. A man on the train saw my GAY PRIDE STICKERS on my bike, and that triggered him to blast "patriotic" music, pace up and down the train, and yell about how he voted for trump and people are abusing sex and drugs, and other random things. He was yelling at random passengers and anyone at the station at every single stop. I am very lucky he decided to go on a tirade instead of attack me. There was nobody on that train who stood up to him. There weren't even any staff members there to stop him or call the police. I had to do that after I got off the train. And then I had to bike home, and I had to call a family member to stay on the phone because I was terrified he or anyone else had followed me. I'm still shaken up.

So please, remember that we are human. We are trans. We are terrified.
We are going above and beyond for our community, all of us, despite our fear, and despite the abuse thrown at us. Telling us we need to quit being mods, we are doing a bad job, making ranting posts about how unfair it is that your rule-breaking post was removed for breaking the rules... That doesn't help. You know what that does do? That makes us not want to do this anymore. And even if you don't care about our wellbeing or mental health, just remember that if we quit being mods, you wouldn't have r/ftm anymore. You wouldn't have r/ftmventing anymore. The other subs we moderate for would lose a mod and it would put more strain on them. Do you really want that to happen? I sure don't.

Be kind and patient. We need to stay positive and stick together.

I just started T three days ago and am trying to prepare for what bottom growth will be like for me. I looked at the FTMporn sub and all of their T dicks look almost like cis dude's dicks. Is that what happens to most people? Growing an actual mini penis? Sorry for the ignorance, just trying to prepare myself

This isn’t applying to me or anything!! It was just a thought I had and it made me wonder what that meant

Like, obviously if you stop taking T, some stuff will revert but facial hair is listed as one that doesn’t. Does that mean you’ll keep growing facial hair even off of T? Or if you shave it off, it’s gone and won’t grow back again?? Cuz I figured you’d need T to keep having it grow back. I’m curious if anyone knew the answer!

i am 22 and recently came out socially as a trans man. i live quite a few states away from my family and finally felt comfortable to be who i am.

my family who i am in touch with is insanely strange. my grandparents are very progressive and will be understanding, but they are still boomer age and i dont even know how to talk to them about this. i am their favorite grandchild and i know it will be hard for them to "lose their first granddaughter".

my mom recently married a super conservative rich guy. his family is not the best. i dont like my step siblings all that much as they're just not great to be around.

i am supposed to start testosterone in a couple weeks, and then i am going home for thanksgiving which is when ill probably come out to my grandparents. ill be making a plan to stay with them in case my mom and stepdad are being awful.

just hoping for any tips, or just any tidbits of hope! id love to hear some stories, whether good or bad <3

Hi guys, so I need some advice on moving into my boyfriend’s house. For some context, I’m ftm (female to male) transgender and have been on T for two years, but still live with my unaccepting family. Me and my boyfriend are planning to move in together but they don’t even know he exists. I sleep over at his place every weekend and I just tell my parents I’m at my friend’s house. I feel bad for lying but I don’t even let them meet my friends because they misgender me and deadname me in front of them and it just causes confusion and uncomfortable situations.

I want to leave and move in with the guy I love and plan to marry, but I don’t even know where to start with it. I’ve considered just saying I’m moving out and he will be my roommate. I pretty much have everything lined up, I’ll go to school up there, I have the transfer for my work set up, and of course I have someone I’ll live with. I just don’t know how to get the ball rolling.

Other than the lack of acceptance I’m very close with my family and I feel immense guilt for lying so much about my whereabouts, but I really don’t feel like I have a choice. He told his parents about me and he said they seemed happy until he told them my age (he’s 29 so not too crazy). I’m sure my parents will have similar feelings.

I’m just so lost on what to do. I’ve never introduced them to people I’ve dated before because it would be so uncomfortable, and my boyfriend said he would not be happy to hear them misgendering me. I wouldn’t want him in that situation anyways. I’m so lost so if anyone has had a similar situation or some advice I’d appreciate it a lot.

getting top surgery next week. send advice and good vibes

So, my great grandma (85), just got out of the hospital and I was staying with her for the past week or so until she felt better enough for me to go back home. She got home yesterday and when she seen my face she asked me to come closer.

I thought there was something on my face I didn’t know about but she put her hand on my cheek and said “[[Name]], you have whiskers now”

And that’s what she calls my little bit of facial hair 😂.

So I’ve known that I’ve been trans for little over a year but held off coming out for really one reason. I’m terrified because not that my parents and family won’t accept me I’m scared that I won’t be able to medically transition due to trump being elected as president. When he is in office he is going to revoke the access to gender affirming healthcare to trans people. WHAT DO I DO because I want to come out but I want to medically transition but can’t due to the government. HELPPPP :p

I'm around 2 and a half years on testosterone. Very minor hot flashes started at a little before the 2 year mark if i remember correctly. I ran out of T i think a bit over a month ago now, and the hot flashes have gotten worse. I'm wondering why. Do you think my .5 mL weekly dose of the intramuscular oil was ok? I asked specifically for weekly since it's easier for me to remember and have in my alarms. I'm also dreading my period showing up again cause ik it most likely will be more painful since i also have an iud in (i started the t very shortly after getting the iud)