Been focused on climbing the ladder to max out my comp with the goal of FIRE for several years now and I’m starting to lose hope.

Reasons for my cynicism:

• Cost of living continues to creep up and we still rent. In my VHCOL area, a realistic mortgage is $6k with today’s rates (under 2000 sq ft 3/1 if lucky 3/2). Add in child care and groceries you can easily spend $10k/mo in my area wo much frivolity. Haven’t succumb to much lifestyle creep at all and the goalpost has still moved. Once felt I was at 40% FIRE since then my NW increased 80% and I think I’m only at 36% FIRE now to account for these jumps in COL.
• WLB doesn’t feel in reach. Made it to VP-level middle management. High expectations and performance culture. In office 3 days a week. Leave house by 7 am, home at 8 pm. If you want to move up? Gotta keep grinding. No real way to coast at this level. Back sliding to a role w less responsibilities elsewhere is a roll of the dice. No guarantee I’ll find better WLB sacrificing a pay cut. On top, you’re never guaranteed long term stability in corporate America bc we’re all a downturn away from a layoff.
• Global instability. US elected a felon and the insane party controls congress. Possibility SCOTUS can get packed for 30 more years if they convince the 3 elder conservatives to step down. Tariffs may further increase COL. Meanwhile conflict in Middle East and Russia/Ukraine continue. Climate change hurdling towards us w close to irreversible impact.
• Quality of life overall just feels like it’s going down. Cost increasing, service levels decreasing (every industry incl healthcare under the sun becoming hyper consolidated, swept up by PE, squeezed for corporate profits in sacrifice of the customer) and government support likely to further wane (future of ACA in question.

With that…how are you keeping hope? I want to hid in the woods with the covers up to my eyes. FIRE used to be my path out now it feels unattainable.

We're getting through the week!

Any work-related matters you'd like to get feed back on or talk about?

Feel free to discuss other matters in this thread!

With 2024 coming to an end I thought we all might want to share our progress and successes for the year. Starting the discussion a bit early since most of us might have a busy next few weeks with vacations, travel, wrapping and cooking. Share what you are comfortable with in the comments and congrats to everyone for their “wins” in 2024.

$818k invested in the market (mix of 401k, IRAs and brokerages)

$129k in 2024 market gains

Win: thanks to this sub and other finance subs I decided to switch financial advisors. I found a fiduciary that had lower fees and that I really like. It was a very “adult” thing to do and I’m proud of myself for seeing it through.

Fail: During the process of switching FA I did a self audit of my accounts and discovered I never rolled over an old 401k from a job I was at briefly. I was as able to get in touch with the plan administrator and she helped me access the 401k account. Not a life changing amount of money, but still humbled that younger me was so casual with finances I “lost” a 401k.

Here’s to a great 2025!

Your turns!

I guess I want someone to tell me how realistic this is.

I currently have very little invested. Only $1000 in Lendlease. I plan to get pregnant in 3 years and again 3 years after that. Ideally, I’d like to take one year of unpaid leave for each child, on top of the one year paid leave I get from work. This is available within my current job so I’d like to take advantage of it and spend as much time as possible with my kids while they’re young.

Obviously during that time my family will need supplementary income. My partner will have just finished his apprenticeship so a high income isn’t on the cards for him just yet. But I’m in my 30s so time isn’t on my side with fertility.

How realistic is it for me to invest in ETFs like DHHF now, and draw at least $500 a week in dividends as income by then? How much would I need to be investing now, to make that happen? I’d like to set up a regular fortnightly transfer to purchase ETFs progressively until then. But how much?

I am new to all of this but very curious and ready to get started. But I just need someone (female) to explain whether this is realistic or not, so I can create an alternative plan if it’s not.

Thanks in advance ❤️

Hello!

Any recent triumphs you're proud of?

Feel free to discuss other matters in this thread!

I was introduced to a Merrill Lynch senior financial. I feel like I could use a push on portfolio diversification, as my position right now is both "too safe" (cash) and "too risky" (large holdings in a minimal number of high risk investments).

I also have lots of complicated life planning stuff in progress - complex family situation where I may need to support family and this will be EXPENSIVE, a chronic disease that could be disabling at some point in life, don't own any property yet and live in HCOL to VHCOL locations.

Is the 1% AUM fee worth it? I like this advisor, they don't seem self-interested, and according to them this is a passion project for them as they made their money already in previous roles. I've read warnings about ML and the high fee product offerings they have. They said I'd basically have them on-call for anything I needed, which is great. I had a financial advisor in the past when I had a lot less money but it was a short term (~3 meeting) engagement for a fixed cost, basically to evaluate my current position and determine tradeoffs in job offers I had.

Ongoing financial management is a new thing to me, and while it sounds like what I need 1% seems like a lot to stomach. I haven't done a lot of research yet on options for other advisors, and not really sure what to look for. Has anyone worked with ML and been happy with them?

Hello, everyone! For those of you supporting dependents (kids, elderly parents, etc.), how do you factor their needs into your financial independence plans? I’m trying to find the right balance between saving for the future and ensuring my family is cared for now. Any strategies for budgeting, long-term planning, or just managing the emotional aspects of this would be greatly appreciated!

Hi FIREy Femmes! How do you balance the need to save aggressively for financial independence with spending on self-care? I sometimes feel guilty splurging on things like therapy, gym memberships, or even the occasional spa day. How do you approach self-care while staying on track with your FI goals? Would love to hear your tips and experiences!

Hello, happy Monday :) How is the start of your week going?

What is keeping you motivated currently?

Feel free to discuss other matters in this thread!

We currently have a 1 year old kid and want one or two more - doing some rough squinting at our finances it looks like I’ll be able to RE or go down to part time if I prefer after I pop out the last kid. I could also keep working for fun (and because I’m very easily bored).

So… I would love to hear from femmes that have considered becoming a SAHM or going down to part time after having kids to put these things into perspective and hear what it’s like!

40 yo female. no debt. Investments Retirement: $580k Brokerage: $411k Rental property: $300k makes $950/month Current salary $160k/year Married, 2 kids (5 & 10) 529 for 10yo is $16k 529 for 5yo is $7k but she also has a UTMA $5k Husband makes $60k (no benefits)

We budgets and spend: $2,500-$3 k a month (food, household expenses, childcare)

I hate my job, is there a way to FIRE off this? And if not how much longer?

hoping to get some help from some badass lawyer FI'ers. I recently hired a lawyer to put together a pretty standard separation agreement for me (i.e. 14 pages, fill in the blank, clearly based on a template) and I just got the bill.

they're charging me 6 hours for the paralegal to draft it, and then 7 hours for the attorney to review it. I've worked with plenty of lawyers in the past and I've never had someone charge me more time to review something than it took to draft it. I also think 7 hours to review 14 pages is pretty outrageous, especially since most of those pages are just lists of assets (account numbers) that they copy-pasted from our prenup.

The total bill (just for drafting the agreement, they haven't even sent it to my husband yet) is $5k. That seems high to me, especially since all of the terms and information is based on our prenup. the most I paid for a contract in the past (real estate contracts, prenup, etc) is $2k including back and forth negotiations.

How would I go about arguing this bill? I've never argued a legal bill before, is there a correct way to go about it? TIA!!

Hello!

What are your goals for this month?

How did your goals for last month turn out?

Hope your weekend is going well!

Any fun plans?

Feel free to discuss other matters in this thread!

I don't really want to share this with anyone in real life, so I'm sharing it with you.

I'm 47 and my husband is 49 and we are now completely, 100% debt free and own our home outright. For the rest of our lives, our expenses will just be our living expenses.

I feel very free.

Happy Friday!

What sorts of things are you looking forward to in the near or far future?

Feel free to discuss other matters in this thread!

This will be my first time buying a house! I’m wondering what buying a house in mid-2025 (around September or October) will be like, and I’d love to get some insights from experts here. I’m also considering September or October 2026, but I’m not sure when the right time to buy would be. I’m ready to buy around next year, though. Obviously, it’s hard to predict, but do you think housing prices or mortgage rates will be favorable around that time? When should I start preparing and looking for a home?

Hello!

How is your day going? What are you thankful for today/generally?

Feel free to discuss other matters in this thread!

Has anyone used the Velocity Banking method to pay off any major debt? How did/is that working out for you? I'm looking into quickly paying off my student loans and future mortgage with this strategy.

I would love to hear from all of you about how things have been in terms of the mental/psychological journey.

I’m not ready to retire, but I am at a place where I’ve been able to invest a decent chunk of money despite having a low salary (also thanks to the market) ($620k net worth, age 34, average $70k salary for my 12 year career in HCOL city). I have a huge history of struggling to trust myself, and learning about and following this FIRE path which has led me here has really helped flex that muscle for trusting my decisions/instincts which has been tremendously healing for other domains of my life.

Can’t share with anyone else but I just crossed half a million net worth across all accounts, can’t believe it 🥹. I grew up very poor (housing insecurity, food stamps, etc), struggled through college and can remember how fortunate I felt about my first corp job paying $50k. Making over $200k for the first time this year in a MCOL city and it’s surreal to track my progress towards FIRE. Thanks yall.

We're getting through the week!

Any work-related matters you'd like to get feed back on or talk about?

Feel free to discuss other matters in this thread!

Imagine getting $2,760 a month at max raising three children, even though the other parent is billionaire:

"

Texas, however, caps child-support payments at $2,760 for three children, while California has no cap. 

"

What are the market rates for full time nanny taking care of three kids in Texas? I wonder.

https://www.businessinsider.com/grimes-discusses-custody-battle-elon-musk-2024-11

Hello,

Newbie to this group and looking for advice. I’ve always been wise on spending - worked on an interim 2-year assignment at a FAANG company and managed to almost triple my account balance. I didn’t really think about investing back then because I wanted to purchase property imminently. Then layoffs hit and my income took a hit too, I just about managed to get back into a more stable permanent contract making significantly less than my contract at FAANG (although with added benefits). Thanks to being constantly in employed I managed to keep all my savings intact and took advantage of interest rates increases in the U.K. to allocate some of the pot into fixed bonds which turned into extra cash at zero risk.

Now I’m at a bit of a crossroad - considering again investing in property because rent is skyrocketing but I’m very worried about the additional costs (especially with buying a leasehold flat) and the potential of not getting a substantial return. Alternatively I could explore investing more in the stock market and either continue renting or buy a cheaper house but I’m terrified about making a loss and also having to pay crazy tax outside of my yearly ISAs.

I’m now 38 - My goal is to acquire assets valuable enough to retire back to my home country (not the cheapest but way lower cost of living).

I was wondering if you had any advice - I just would like my savings to work harder now that I have the outlook of a stable salary and I don’t need to think about potential unemployment

I’m in my early twenties and I’m working to creating a better life for myself and my family but there aren’t many examples that I can look up to. I’m in medical school, a few more years and I will be done with it.

Most of the very wealthy people in my country are so because of corruption or embezzlement. I have worked part time jobs to keep me through medical school in my country and I do my best to learn and network at every opportunity I get.

My hope dwindles from time to time because I cannot seem to see the light. But I will keep pushing.

UPDATE

I am overwhelmed by the amount of support I have gotten here😇. To be honest I was nervous to post, I wasn’t sure how it was going to be taken. Thank you so much for everyone who has shared their story or that of people they know. It definitely won’t be easy but I will do my best.

I will continue doing my best and hope for the very best.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Hi everyone, I just found this subreddit and am excited there's a group of FIRE ladies out there!

My situation is a bit different to the average path I guess, and I was wondering if anyone was in a similar situation. I was already interested in FIRE and had planned to FIRE at around age 50 to do my hobby which is baking. My previous job was as a specialist doctor, without crunching the numbers I had thought this was entirely attainable as a single person (didn't want kids at the time).

I met my now husband 5 years ago and through turns and twists of life, moved to France last year as a 40 year old where I no longer work due to my medical qualifications not being recognised and also the language barrier. We had our son just under a year ago and I'm now staying at home with him.

Financially we are doing fine for the moment with my husband's income + my income from investments, not digging into my capital and able to put a little aside even. Though I had no specific FIRE number in mind, it's obviously a good decade before I had planned to retire, so my nest egg is a lot smaller than it would have been if I had FIREd at 50.

I love the fact that I have the luxury and flexibility of staying at home with my son while he is small, but I'm wondering if I'm being too optimistic about it being "it'll turn out ok somehow". I'm also wondering I will be bored later on when he is older and at school.

So my question is - has anyone unexpectedly FIREd earlier than planned due to having a family? How did it go for you? Are there any resources out there for this kind of situation that you found helpful? Thank you for reading and sharing!

Hello ladies!

I had a conversation with friends recently that really made me start considering home ownership. I’m in my late 20’s and living in Canada, our housing market is booming and it would cost around $500,000 to get into a reasonable condo/house. I lived in a tiny house for years, made endless sacrifices to build my savings and finally have a comfortable income that could afford a mortgage. I had completely lost interest in home ownership over the years, houses have just become SO MUCH more expensive than when I started saving for one. I ended up becoming interested in investments instead and I keep seeing all of this conversation about ‘the first 100k is the hardest to achieve and it builds surprisingly quickly from there, it might take years to reach the first 100k but it gets faster for every 100k after that’. I am painfully close to reaching my first 100k and the thought of spending that and losing my ‘power’ in the market breaks my heart.

My rent is currently very affordable (my share is $1000/month) and we live in a lovely neighborhood. I wouldn’t be able to buy anything in an area this nice with my income. I am terrified of buying a house and spending thousands on upkeep and maintenance. Unexpected expenses and assuming all of the risk of a physical asset is so scary to me.

Am I crazy for wanting to just keep renting and keep building my portfolio? My rent is by far the biggest bill that I pay monthly, I know it’s silly to pay someone else’s mortgage for them but I feel like I’m so close to my portfolio ‘taking off’. If I ever reached several hundred thousand dollars in that portfolio I figured it would hurt less to put a huge down payment on a house and have a smaller mortgage. I recognize housing costs will rise in the time I’m building the portfolio too.

Can anyone speak to their own experiences with this?

Long time lurker first time asker! We built a custom stick built home in 2020 and it’s since almost doubled in value. We have the opportunity to sell it, move onto some farmland with a new manufactured home in another state (a dream of mine) and live completely mortgage and debt free. We would continue to work to fund hobbies and trips but wouldn’t really need to have two full time jobs. We have been maxing out our retirements for awhile and are pretty happy with that. Does this sound crazy? The sense of relief if not having to work just to pay a mortgage sounds like an absolute dream. I mentioned it to some family and they think it’s nuts but what am I missing? I am stressed about my job 24/7 and constantly worried about losing it and not being able to contribute to our mortgage payment. The thought of doing this makes it feel like I can breathe again but I get push back from those close to me. :)(

***edit to add: although lesser quality in the manufactured home, the living space would be more square ft than I currently have. Forgot to add most of my friends and hobbies are in the new state that we would be moving to- I travel there frequently to see them and participate in my sports/hobbies. I’d be living in the heart of the things I love to do.

Hello!

Any recent triumphs you're proud of?

Feel free to discuss other matters in this thread!

Hi FIREyFemmes,

34f striving towards FI and living a comfortable life. But, I feel behind for my age. I feel like I’m only starting my journey now. This is largely due to travelling a lot in my 20s, working in low paying industries but also some bad habits and a lack of discipline. I find it hard not to beat myself up for the decisions I made when I look to friends who are ahead of me. Does anyone else feel the same way? What have you done to address this? And, what are some of your financial tips to try and catch-up?