While I understand the need to see how your partner lives before you marry them, I admire the value in waiting until marriage to live together

You don't necessarily need to live in the same house to know how they go about their life, especially if you see them very frequently

I would like to hear the reasoning behind making this decision, as I have debated going that route myself!

I hope this makes sense. But for example, when you’re not legally married yet, but you live together, how do you refer to your family name? It feels kinda silly saying “The ____ & _____ Family” when I’m signing a letter. I just refer to us as my fiancés last name since we also already have a child together but I wonder if people will take offense to that since we aren’t technically married yet? We’ve been together for 6 years already so most people already treat us as married couple. Just want to know what others do who are in a similar boat.

EDIT: he reminded me why he’s the man I’m marrying 💕 I expressed my feelings to him, and he lovingly told me that he wants me to love it and will make sure I do 🥲 he said he just wants me to have the perfect ring and is going to create a special, intimate moment for us. He said he also wanted that, and he knew I wanted that, and he dropped the ball but will do everything he can to make it up to me. This has turned into a really beautiful moment for us, and assurance of the man I’m marrying. Open communication, accountability, and action. Thank you Jesus for this man 🙏 I love him so much and I’m so grateful for this opportunity for us to grow closer, and for him to show me the man he is. This disappointing situation has turned into a really positive memory of trust and growth between us :)

Ty to everyone who understood and supported! 💕

———

My bf (now fiance) proposed a couple days ago and without too much detail, the proposal was a bit heartbreaking for me. I knew he would be proposing soon, he just did it at a place and around people that I asked him not to, so I feel like that moment for me is blurry/awkward/rushed. On top of that, I’m having trouble loving the ring. I think if I loved the ring and the proposal was meh, I could get past it, and if the ring was meh and the proposal was amazing, I could get past it. But the proposal was hurtful to me and the ring is also not something I’m dying to wear.

Or maybe I just look at the ring that way because the proposal was hurtful.

In any case… and please know this man is truly wonderful and just makes some mistakes when he’s nervous… is it okay to ask him if we could pick a new ring together and maybe give the moment another try?

I feel guilty that I feel so heartbroken over what should be such a joyous time. We both wanted this. I just really didn’t want to be surrounded by people in an intimate setting- I really wanted this moment to be intimate and special between us, with heartfelt words shared. I don’t even remember if he said anything or what I said, or looking at the ring. I got up and hugged him for way too long and then pulled him into someone’s bedroom to escape the eyes. I’m just feeling really, extremely said that this memory is so uncomfortable for me.

Hi! I have been engaged with my bf for a year. And I know I have been thinking about this way too long, but the memory of the proposal popped into my head this fall.

One night last year I went ti the bed with my bf. We were cuddling and my back was against his chest so I didn’t see his face and it was kind of dark. Then he started acting kind of giggly and odd and asked me to be his wife. He didn’t have a ring which was fine cause we are young and don’t really have the money. So I my self asked if we could use my duckring just for the sake of it. I wore it for like a minute and then he insisted for me to take it out of my finger. And then he wanted to sleep. Next day he said that he doesn’t want me to tell anyone about it. He doesn’t want that people judge him cause of getting engaged young and his family might not appreciate it. IMO they would be happy. It just really sucks cause I don’t think that it changed anything. We have discussed and agreed that we would get married a lot before that and I didn’t and still don’t see a difference between a normal discussion and that so called proposal. I have discussed about it a little but he just gets mad that he “wasn’t enough”. Cause I said that my standards are low but not that low. I just would have wanted him to atleast look at me, plan something or even be able to tell someone if they ask that he himself is engaged. He has called himself a coward cause of this multiple times.

I just need help how to process and get over it. Since we don’t have a ring yet maybe he could do something with it but I don’t know if he want’s to. And I do want to marry him. I just want to fix this and get it out of my head.

English is not my first language

We just got engaged yesterday! Is there something I’m supposed to do for him? Do we get him a ring right away to wear? We will prob have our wedding in a few years.. I’ve heard of a watch, but not sure if that’s more of a wedding gift?

Padparadscha Sapphire set in 14k gold - unknown wt.

Our trip to Oahu overlapped our 3 year anniversary so I knew it’d happen on this vacation but he still managed to surprise me with the proposal 🖤

Hi! Just got engaged (yesterday!!) I was wondering if anyone knew of any good engagement photographers around the Raleigh, NC area or the NYC area!

I'm not sure why I'm even posting this, maybe validation? My fiance proposed to me last Christmas 2023. He had bought the ring in early 2023 when I went with him to the store to try on rings, etc. so that it was exactly what I wanted. I'm not a big jewelry wearer, so I didn't have anything specific in mind and I told him that I wanted him to pick it out. He wanted me to pick it out so I agreed to make him more comfortable with the big purchase. I turned 30 last year in May and we planned a nice trip together to Michigan to look for Petoskey stones, because that's what I wanted to do. He told me after that trip that he had planned to propose on the trip by pretending to find a Petoskey stone in the shore and then be on one knee and propose. The ring didn't come in time though, so he didn't do it. He then told me he was maybe going to do that same proposal with a fake ring but wasn't sure if I would've cared or not. I was pretty upset because I absolutely loved this idea, fake ring or not, and it didn't happen. And I was told about it. Then throughout the year up until Christmas there was a few other 'ideas' he had that never happened, but he still told me about them. Then it's Christmas morning, I'm sitting on the couch and he comes upstairs from the basement and gets on one knee and says 'I want nothing more for Christmas than to put this ring on your finger' and we kissed and that was pretty much it.

I think there are several aspects to my disappointment - the fact that he had so many other plans that he told me about but he didn't do anything like those plans, 2 of my sister and cousins have gotten engaged recently, and they all got taken on a trip to get engaged, and the face that he basically admitted to me that he wasn't thinking about me in the moment of the proposal. I've brought my disappointment up to him a few times, and how I feel horrible that I'm disappointed and don't want to feel this way. This morning I told him that honestly it seemed like he was in the basement and was just like 'yah i should do it now' and he explained that that was basically what happened. That he basically just felt it in that moment that he could do it and wouldn't chicken out. And I responded to him, do you see how you are literally just thinking about yourself in that moment? And he said yes.

I don't know, I'm just very angry at myself for feeling this way. I don't want to feel this way. I love him and am so excited to marry him, and I'm angry that the proposal isn't a great memory. I'm angry that I'm jealous of my sisters and cousin. I guess the long and short of it is that I'm upset that he told me he was planning something sweet for more than half a year, but then ended up doing something unplanned and extremely lackluster. I just feel like a bitch.

So, my fiancé and I are both in our early 20s. We are living together at his parent’s house, while him and I are looking for a place to call our own, just to help us better save money and get used to living together in general. Everything has been going great! He is an amazing man and I couldn’t be happier.

Him and I are doing a long engagement, so it’s a while in the future for us to get married/elope. When I’ve had conversations with people about this before, like catching up with coworkers etc, I tend to get weird looks and people think it’s kind of odd, even some of my family, I feel!

Its not something you hear in every day life, at least my experience, but it’s working out awesomely and it has helped us save money and plan better for our future like traveling, finding a home, and so on.

I really just wanna know what people thing about it lol. Thank you all!

Just curious, on what is an average amount that people usually spend on engagement rings?

I know it varies, but within your peer group what do you think is the average?

Yes I understand it would greatly vary based on the gemstone itself, whether it’s lab or mined and how much gold is used.

But I’m asking regardless of those choices, just based on the dollar amount spent on the engagement ring, what is the average?

Hello, my fiancé is in basic training and we plan to get married. There is a window time between basic and AIT to spend time with your family before you start school. Has anybody been in this situation that went through with getting married during that time period? Or if anybody has advice or pros and cons to getting married in that time period. Anything helps thank you!

So another friend and I are helping our dear friend’s partner set up for him to propose in the next few weeks. We all have a wedding coming up the week after the planned proposal and I thought it would be a good excuse to get our nails done without raising any suspicion. My other friend broached the topic of nails before the wedding and she straight up said no she doesn’t want to get her nails done bc she’s thinks once she starts getting her nails done, she won’t stop and she’s trying to keep her expenses down. Any suggestions as to how we can convince her to go to the salon with us without raising any suspicion? We’re happy to pay for them so one idea was to say we have a voucher that’s going to expire the week before and it’s got 2 nail sets worth of $ left on it that will go to waste?! Any help would be so greatly appreciated! 🤣❤️

Edit to clarify: I know she would definitely want her nails done if she knew she was being proposed to, which is why I’m putting this much effort into trying to find a way to get her to the salon ahaha I personally don’t care about nails and am not a nail girly myself! Just want to do what I can to ensure her day is perfect ❤️

What advice? Besides don’t

AITA for being extremely dissatisfied with how my man proposed?

I (24f) have been with my now fiance (30m) for about two years. I love him with my entire heart and without a shadow of a doubt I know he's my husband and I have known this from the beginning.

Yesterday he popped the question. He did it in a way that was (IMO) effortless and extremely awkward. We have discussed multiple times prior how I'd like to be proposed to...I told him I wanted to make sure that my nails were done,and that I could wear a pretty dress...and the most important factor of it all-I wanted my family there.

Those are the only three standards I had set for my proposal. He could've pulled out a ring pop at a Dave and busters and I would've been totally happy with it,but out of the three things on my list-only my nails were done.

He did do some planning...but I was really hoping my family would be there. I cried afterwords. I've dreamt of this moment since I was a child and it was just very saddening that he didn't listen to anything else I wanted.

Hello everyone! I got engaged to my perfect fiancé last month, and now several members of my family want to get us gifts. We don’t really need anything and we want to get something more personal to celebrate our engagement. We live in a different country to our families (my fiancé and I are different nationalities and we live in a 3rd country), so we also don’t want anything huge or bulky for if we move around. Does anyone have any ideas?!

For example, one gift we are going to get is a crystal jug made by a local crystal glass maker where we live now. I have had my eye on this jug for a while and we thought it could be a good option as it links to where we were living when we got engaged if we move in the future, and it is pretty expensive so not something we would ever think of buying for ourselves. We are trying to think of other personal/meaningful things but we are drawing a blank, any ideas are greatly appreciated!!!!

Hi there, I need help deciding on what to change my name to. I (35,f) got engaged this weekend after 5 years of dating my (38, m) boyfriend. I picked out the engagement ring in early summer, so I knew this was coming, but I did not when. Pure joy does not describe the happiness I feel. There is 1 thing that really upsets me when I think about it and it is changing my last name to his.

My current initials are ASF. My initials are my signature and I go by my first and middle name. Some of my close friends just call me by my middle name. My fiance's last name starts with a "S". So my legal initials will be ASS. This really bothers me and I get on the verge of tears when I think about it. I am actually at a crossroads on what to do.

I know I don't have to change my last name but I want to. My fiance and I decided early on that kids would not be part of our lives and since we won't be having children I want to feel united and connected with this man. I want to feel as though we are one unit.

Before it's suggested, he won't be changing his last name to mine. His family ties are strong and my family is nothing to write home about. I would never suggest having him carry my last name.

My question is, what would you do? I'm thinking about changing my middle name to include my last name, or changing my middle name to my last name.

Any words of advice?

My boyfriend (37) and I (32) have been planning to elope in December and have been discussing getting properly engaged to celebrate before we make it official. Last night we got into an argument about the whole engagement process because there have been issues that have come up on his end that have caused delay after delay. I've been getting hopeful and excited for months over this whole idea of engagement and marriage with him and with delays present, have had doubts plaguing my mind about if he really wants this.

Just to put his out there as a quick backstory, we have been together 2 years and 3 months and have lived together for a year. He was initially hesitant at getting married 8 months or so ago, having made some comments that have upset me a few times. Trying to be understanding of where he was at in the relationship, I've remained patient and in July, he finally brought up the plans of getting engaged and married saying that's what he genuinely wanted.

Anyways, last night leading up to the argument he had made a passive aggressive comments about feeling "pressure" from me trying to come up with a back up plan to propose because his other plans didn't work? I had asked him why he feels pressure when he's the one that told me that he wanted to get engaged and married soon. during Our argument, words were exchanged that were not nice, with me telling him that I would just return the wedding rings I bought if marriage is not what he wanted. He proceeds to grab the ring from his car, tossing it into my lap to "prove" that he was serious about his plans. He said that he assumed I was ending the relationship as his justification to go and do that. I'm devastated and don't know what to do. I didn't see the ring, itself and he said he still plans to propose and wants to proceed with getting married in December. How should I see this from a different perspective without it completely ruining my view of the relationship and future marriage with him?

I want to propose this December but the ring won’t arrive in time and my money won’t either… I wanted to go to the Christmas market where we had our first trip together and do it there, but I won’t manage in time and I don’t think that it will be as romantic afterwards… I could in January but how do I get her to the same place? Or how do I get her a ring faster? Also I don’t want just any ring. I want one that she‘d like… omg I’m going mad ☹️☹️☹️ help…

Hi All! Recently got engaged and my diamond is a big boy. Which is nice and all, but because the surface area is larger i feel like i notice every spot. Everytime i wash my hands i feel like it needs a polish! Any recommendations for consistently cleaning/cleaning on the go? Can I harm the diamond in any way?

I've (24F) been wedding planning like a beast and we've been having so much fun doing everything. I'm so excited to get married but its slowly hitting me whats going on

Getting married is terrifying. It feels like I've been cruising so many years and now life is actually about to begin. I don't feel old enough to be doing this. We want a lot of kids, and all my life I've thought about being a young mom. So in like two years I may have a kid? This all seems crazy to me

I'm so unbelievably excited that I get to marry the love of my life, but is anyone else facing this sudden anxiety about how fast your life seems to be moving now?

Okay so , let me preface this by saying I’m letting God do his thing but I’m excited so I did want to play into it alittle …

 So myself (26f) and my bf (30m) have been “together” for 6 years. Over 2 years , I broke up with him for certain reasons. We got back together  after not speaking / seeing eachother for almost exactly a year. 
Since we have been back together (for almost 2 years now), things have been great. It’s almost like we needed that year to grow as individuals to better love ourselves and eachother. 
 Every year for Christmas he is somewhat of a last minute (early December ) shopper and most of the time I know exactly what I’m getting bc we send eachother what we want. But this year , he has already purchased my gift( in late September/ early October ). I happen to glance over at his phone while we were in bed and saw where he has been making payments on something. So when I asked he told me he couldn’t tell me but that it was my Christmas present. 
 We have always made cute little remarks about our future but recently he has been talking about it so much more in depth. He also made the comment about my ring size but kind of came off as joking. He won’t give me any hints (I hate surprises so I always ask for hints lol) and all he will say is “you’re going to be really proud of me “. 

Sooooo am I Delusional or do I have a valid reason to think I’m getting engaged?😂

P.S : I will not be disappointed if I’m not. If it is meant to be I know it’ll be eventually 🤍