Hi, I’m realising I need to engage more with my emotions because emotional eating is becoming more central again and causing some harsh self talk for me. Ironically the core reason it’s resurfacing is I’m attempting moderate and slow healthy weight loss but even this gentle approach means too much attention to/planning around food. I’m wondering what people’s experiences have been with trying to check in more regularly and use the NVC list to identify emotions and needs? How did you find it? What changes, if any, did you notice to your eating impulses?

My idea for myself is to try having a Finch companion with a key daily goal being to check in and name my emotion (and need if a need isn’t being met) a couple of times a day. I’d love to learn what others think or have learned along the way. Thank you.

I was recently diagnosed with diabetes type 2. Most advice around is on management and don't go to the cravings and the root reasons. I crave bread, chocolate, pasta, rice, sweet, cakes, etc. That's why today I am diabetic. I have complex trauma and have been to IFS / EMDR therapy for like a year. But the cravings persist. Can you help me? Anyone been in this boat?

Looking for advice/tools used by others.

I find that there are days I’m so hungry and then there are days where I don’t have much of an appetite.

On the days where I am very hungry I often eat breakfast lunch & dinner but don’t allow myself to keep eating even when I still feel hunger because I feel guilty for still being hungry.

On the days when I don’t have much of an appetite I often eat past fullness. This is due to 1) guilt over food waste. 2) guilt over the money I have spent on that food. 3) embarrassment/feeling judged by others that I can’t finish my meal.

Does anyone have advice on how to LISTEN to your hunger cues, no restriction & no over eating. Just acceptance that your hunger won’t be the same every single day. And does anyone have advice on how to remove guilt for being hungry and for being full?

I eat and binge in big portions and feel like I can’t stop. I really need help. I’ve tried talk therapy, emdr therapy. I was anorexic in 2023, eating only 1000 calories a day. I lost some weight. I tried to eat more and now I can’t stop. And now I feel like I can’t stop. It’s a struggle. I do have some mental illnesses like ptsd, adhd, anxiety, depression, I was diagnosed with atypical anorexia a while ago too. I just really want to lose weight and eat normal portions. I feel like whatever I do doesn’t work. Help?

I want your opinions. I’m an emotional eater. I have had a journey with eating disorders; anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorder. I haven’t suffered to these extremes in just under a year… so I’m getting there. I do still emotionally eat though. I have tried therapy, on and off for the last four years. The last time I brought my dilemma of overeating to a therapist she suggested I think of it similar to alcoholism, and look at chocolate/sweets etc as something I can’t go near. There is a little bit of additional nuance to this - I have two autoimmune diseases triggered by sugar intake. They are triggered by sugar intake because they are also metabolic disorders, so I likely have minor blood sugar disregulation (even though fasting glucose etc has always been ok). When I binge/over eat sugar, they flare. This can lead to me being bed bound and unable to walk.

I want to hear other peoples opinions here. Do you think emotional eaters/binge eaters should think of their binge food similar to alcoholism and stay away. Or do you think it’s more important to work on the emotional eating and find a way to enjoy their binge food in moderation?

Hi guys. I came across this book by accident while looking for something else on Amazon. Just based on the title, I don’t think I’ve ever seen emotional pain and overeating linked so directly and clearly in print before. On an intuitive level I have known for a while that trauma makes you fat and so does unhappiness. Still I would beat myself up like “I know what to do to lose weight! Why can’t I just make myself do it?!” I think the only way to stop emotional eating is to heal our traumas, and that takes time. Anyway I’ll try to report back on the book but I can’t promise when/if I’ll finish it. 💜

Hi as the title suggest I need help on how to get over emotional eating. When I was 14 to 16 I would eat so much sweets and junk food but I would restrict afterward and take medication to prevent weight gain. And if I did gain weight my dad would abuse me, not letting me eat, locking the fridge & kitchen/beating me... so food was like a coping mechanism that gave me joy. As I left my dad and currently am in Germany. I have no access to those medications or the need to maintain the way. Causing me to cause 20kg+ in 1 year. Main reason, emotional eating, I would be stressed due to living in a refugee campus (twice), lack of knowledge on portion control (because my dad was controlling on what I ate and how much. And i would eat behind his back when people feed me to the point I'd be at the point of vomiting), documents, school... etc now I'm eating my emotions due the constant body shaming and comments I get from classmates, strangers, former friends. With former friends it was always backhanded compliments.

So the cycle was, they talked poorly about my body or back handed complimented or straight up body shaming. I'd get depressed/sad, I eat my feelings. Recently its been more boredom and emotional eating. I feel like I desperately need help on how to overcome emotional eating so I can lose weight without restricting or being drug dependent.

I’m addicted to sugar and I’ve been stress eating and have become depressed and unmotivated to clean my room which is a mess and I have junk food next to my bed and all I want to do is eat which I have done all afternoon and I put on 3 pounds today. I also have trauma that I’m using food to deal with as well. Message me.

I get free fountain drinks at work. I usually drink Diet Mountain Dew in the morning time and then switch to water for the rest of the day. I just discovered that regular Mountain Dew was hooked up to both the diet and regular! And it was almost empty so I have been drinking it for weeks!

I was doing low carb and I lost 20 pounds. I really started struggling about five weeks ago. I thought that I was just tired of the low carb, feeling too restricted and I was rebelling. I decided to take a weekend to just eat whatever I wanted and then get back on it, but I needed up being off for over two weeks. I’ve been back at low-carb hard for about week now and I was just struggling so much.

Well, I’ve been dumping liquid sugar into my body, which gives me diarrhea, and I’ve had random bouts of nausea and this ever so slight feeling of being dizzy almost or vertigo. Just feeling off. Like yeah no wonder I haven’t been feeling good! Honestly I wanted to cry when I discovered it, but now I’m hopeful that I can get back on track without all the feeling bad and struggle. Maybe it’s the answer as to why I have been struggling so much!

I am looking at food like there is no tomorrow. All I think is - let’s order and eat. I am on weight loss journey and I was managing diet very well, no cravings, no high appetite. Suddenly from few months I am not able to avoid eating. Yesterday I ate - Deep fried bread - 2 and curry (chole bhature) Deep fried fritters - 250 gms Idli sambhar and coconut chutney - 2 plates One bowl papaya Idli sambhar and coconut chutney - 1 plate One big bowl fried rice Small bowl dal One bowl pineapple soya chap - 400 gms - ordered at 10:30 in the night

I am so fucked up!

I had a realization that I often tend to eat to "take the edge off", when I'm in a public situation, or someone has been explaining things and it's overwhelming (too many words for me at the moment), or I've been to the grocery store, which I find very overwhelming if I have more than five items to buy ... I tend to want to calm myself down with food afterwards. Like, I'm too amped up, too much energy is required, too much attention is required, too many words are being said to me, too many items to choose from on the shelves, too much to clean up around the house, too many people to talk to unexpectedly. Ha! I sound so ill adjusted! But it's all true. And this is often why I eat when I'm not hungry. I also like to eat to relax and enjoy solitude. I feel safe there, like I don't have to face or interact with anyone else.

And I also have a driving belief that I should weigh less and have a thinner body, that I will be happier. I think that this is actually true, but there are two sides to this; one is, yes, physically my body would feel better, less bloated, my hips and feet and lower back would have less discomfort, I would move more easily, and my self-esteem would be a bit better too. The second side to this: I believe I should weigh less or I am failing; I get very angry at my body for feeling bloated, feeling full, after I have eaten to calm myself. A full stomach means I have failed. I polish off a few pastries, feeling safe and good, alone, indulging in this pleasure by myself, safe from the world - and THEN I have failed again. I am not closer to being the perfect thin self that this critical voice says I should be. So, I am angry that I can't be thin because I'm calming myself with food, but the anger feels like a huge criticism or condemnation, that I'll never be thin, why can't I lose weight, that I've failed again by using food again.

And then I do it all again, every day! Eating to take the edge off of an anxious situation, feeling safe during the eating, and then feeling a huge sense of failure because I'm working against my perfectionistic belief of thinness PLUS the sane knowledge that I would feel better, probably live longer, and be healthier if I stopped eating foods I'm not hungry for.

Then I try to interrupt the cycle by waiting for my hunger, and trying to listen to what my body needs ... but I haven't been able to stick with that yet because of this other longstanding situation of eating for safety and then shaming myself.

Thanks for reading.

Anyone over eat because you’re in a bad relationship? How do you deal with it . I’m 68 and trust me it sucks and almost always has . I’ve got 40 lbs to lose … and I keep losing and gaining same 7-8 lbs . Tough when I know he doesn’t love me . 💔

Hi, all. I realized the other day that I grazed all day and never once felt hunger. I could eat pastries, bread and butter, anything cheesy, sweet, all day long. I have loved these foods my entire life, and I'm 50. I remember journaling about my struggle with food - thirty years ago! I have struggled my whole life except for a short time when I was able to be an intuitive eater; and I have struggled to get back there due to my dependency on foods for stabilizing my moods and emotions, I think.

I am here to say that I really do realize what's happening, that these rich foods give me dopamine hits that keep me afloat, and now I am trying to eat protein and veggies and fruits and the things that aren't a response to emotions but to hunger and nutrition.

I am a bit sad that I'm still struggling with the same issue for so long. And I would like for some of my extra weight (20 lbs) to come off if my body will let go of it. I am not sure where to go from here except to have some kind of a food plan (which I do now) and move forward, recognizing what foods are good for me and when - NOT when I'm eating to soothe myself. Thanks for reading.