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I used to restrict heavily and did so consistently for about a year, got to a super lw, decided to try to recover as I'm 15 and felt like I was losing all.kf my hobbies and just my life. I didn't have rlly any guidance in recovery and ended up just gainning weight and not fixing my mindset much. Now all of the horrible thoughts about my body are coming back and I've been trying to restrict (not as much as before) and it's so much harder now? Idrk what I'm asking for but I just feel so fake. Like I'm a failure because I can't do what I use to be able to. I feel guilty because I can no longer starve myself which is so dumb.

so i’m not gonna give too much background just cause i don’t feel like getting into it but… i’ve know about my ed for like 3 years and ive had body issues for years but my parents don’t know and only a few friends do. i’m not necessarily underweight even tho its pretty bad so not many people know. anyways to get to the point ive been dating my bf for almost a month and we’ve been talking for 6 months before we started dating he’s a rly nice guy (which i’m not used to) and he mentioned to me he’s somewhat educated on ed (im not sure the background of that) but i rly wanna tell him about mine cause i feel like im hiding something from him if i don’t and im not sure how i should or how i should word it. if there’s anyway someone can help me figure out how to say it that would be amazing (for reference ik he’ll be pretty understanding and kind about it and i don’t think he’s too ignorant on the subject)

I(F26) feel like I’m staying with my boyfriend (M29) because I love his family. We’ve been dating for a little over 2 years. I adore his parents, siblings, and even his extended family, but the problem is that I am fonder of them than I am of my actual boyfriend. He definitely has his issues including anxiety & depression. He makes promises to me that he never follows through on (like going to therapy, making appointments, etc). He’s a great & very caring and empathetic guy, but he does nothing to help himself. I have a pretty good paying job, & I’m educated. He went to college & has his Bachelor’s too, but he doesn’t work in his field of study so he makes slightly more than minimum wage doing a job you only need a high school diploma for. He’s content living paycheck-to-paycheck, although he complains about how little money he makes for the amount of work that he does. I love spending time with his family, but he always puts negative energy out there because he’s always anxious or outside of his comfort zone & it can really bring down my mood. He always wants to be home & doesn’t want to ever venture out of his comfort zone &, if he does, he will complain & be anxious the entire time. He gets mad at me because he says I always “ask for constant reassurance” (I have anxiety, OCD, & anorexia nervosa). I go to therapy weekly. He says it’s exhausting & draining at times, but he loves me. I love his family but, at the end of the day, they will always love him more because that’s their immediate family member. As much as I feel like part of the family, my boyfriend actually is, which means that he will always win (I am aware I shouldn’t expect them to have my back over his whatsoever). I don’t have a great relationship with my family; I am not emotionally close to them. I’m reaching out to see if anyone has been in a similar experience or if anyone has any advice? Are my expectations unrealistic or too high? Do I sound like a high-maintenance pri-madonna ?

I just want to be seen I think but what should I do, I’m being forced to eat hut it’s only making me feel worse as it’s giving me attention yk?

I (F) have struggled with my weight for most of my life. for two years I skipped lunch at school, eventually also skipping breakfast. I felt bitter, drained, and I had no social life. Eventually I turned to counting calories, where I would often eat very little and feel guilty for going out to eat or eating the dinners that my dad made. I hardly noticed any changes in my body despite exercising every day and eating very little because I refused to look at myself in the mirror, and I even lost my menstrual. ive been trying to recover for a while now, distracting myself with running and just allowing myself to eat. recently though I’ve had a hip injury that keeps me from running, and I feel so fat and defeated. I just want to go back to being small, even if I have to feel constantly tired, emotional and hungry. I hate eating and I want to go back but I know I’ll just stress out my family if I do so I can’t. I’m use so sick of my thoughts and my body and everything.

i’ve had my ed for almost 4yrs now. i binged mostly a lot my senior year, i reached my hw then. i lost several pounds in 3 months in 2022. i binged many times last year in 2023, but this year ive stuck to mostly mid/low res. ive only binged 3x this year, but i overeat frequently. i’m still losing weight even tho i overeat 1-2x a week. would this be ednos or atyp ana? i’m not underweight but i also didn’t have a high sw, i was 135lbs at my hw and now im down to 108lbs. i don’t know if it is ednos/osfed or ana and i just want to know really😭😭 im not looking for a reddit “diagnosis” i just want to know what it sounds like im experiencing lmfao

So I’ve been struggling a lot recently and i don’t want to wear any of my clothes because they make me look fat, i am overweight but i don’t like people seeing how big i am. I hate the “fatphobic” bs that’s going around and I wish i was skinny. I just want to curl up into a ball and cry. I hate eating but i have to and i never have time to myself or to exercise it’s alway one thing after another. Honestly it’s tiring and i know if i mention my parents people will say I’m being an ass and they’re trying to help, fyi those comments make it worse for most people I’ve met including myself and no my parents aren’t helping they’re making it 10 times worse by butting in. They started all of this (forcing me to eat everything in front of me or getting shouted at id i didn’t) and they’re ruining my life because of it. I give up there’s no point in eating anymore. There’s nothing i can do that isn’t “wrong” or “bad” or “unhealthy” i need help i know but i need to lose weight somehow. Sorry for wasting your time if you read this.

hi. im currently trying to go through recovery from anorexia. does anyone have any advice or tips for the process? any things i should do or if i should attempt to get help from other people (treatment places, therapy etc.)? anyway i hope you all have a good day!<3

ive been struggling with purging and my stomaach hurts so bad

No I'm not asking for a diagnosis. I'm just so confused and don't know what to think anymore. I mean I felt insecure slightly about my weight since third grade but it was never anything serious. I don't know once high school hit it got more serious. My parents commented on my weight and body more and it made me feel even worse about myself. Then all of a sudden sometimes when I would want food or just a snack a voice in the back of my head would tell me that's why they're always commenting on you eating. That's why you weigh to much. I don't think it was that bad. It just slowly turned into skipping breakfast whenever I could without my parents knowing or sometimes throwing out my lunch. Feeling guilty when I ate instead of throwing it out or giving it to someone else like I told myself I would. The amount of guilt I would feel every time I gave in to eating food. I started to care about calories too. I never counted them (part of the reason why I tell myself there's no way I have an eating disorder) but I wondered how much I was consuming all the time. I cared about my weight a lot more. Apparently it concerned my doctor how I lost a little over ten pounds in a year but I didn't think it was that much. I mean it was more like in the span of four months but I didn't say that and just blamed it on my physical activity. But the point is even if it goes up by one it freaks me out and I became obsessed over it. The one friend who I've told about this and has been supporting me has said before they're confident it might be an eating disorder but I don't know. It's never felt that bad I guess? Like others have it worse and I'm not doing anything too crazy. Guess I just wanted to rant.

I didn’t eat all day today except one cough drop and was feeling really good. I ate dinner when I got home bc otherwise my parents would make me anyways. We had a movie and I didn’t have any snacks, but just now I went down stairs for a snack and had an orange, a boa bun and some almond butter. Why?????? I was doing so weak and ruined my calorie count for the day. Debating throwing it up but honestly I’m just too tired and feel like crap. I know eating is necessary but I wish it didn’t always make me feel so horrible. Like I feel like I’m gonna gain a ton of weight now and the disappointment in myself is unbearable.

Hi. I’ve posted on this sub before about difficulties with anorexia/body dysmorphia. I’ve been extremely thin before, and over the last year and a half my worst fear came true: I gained 40 pounds. I have had one of the worst years of my life because of how miserable I am with my body image and eating problems. I was in recovery last year, which was part of why I gained so much weight, since I took my issue from one extreme to the other. Instead of not eating at all I just ate. And ate. And ate. I thought that was helpful and I was told that the fact that I was eating was good, but my fear of not being balanced when it came to my weight was not really recognized by my doctor. So I’ve been stuck all gross and overweight. When I say overweight I don’t mean it in the over exaggerated eating disorder sense, I’m genuinely overweight for my height and body type. I’ve been suffering so so much, and i have tried to revert back to my old ways- starving, fasting, eating low calorie food, working out, etc- but nothing has worked. I’ve even tried to do the “healthy” stuff like focusing on proteins, eating breakfast again, having three meals a day and all that shit. Yet I’ve stayed at the same weight this whole year.

Fast forward to my birthday. I had a full mental breakdown over the fact that my face looked extremely round and that I looked fat in comparison to my younger family members in my birthday pictures. I lost my mind over it to my boyfriend after my birthday dinner. I yelled I screamed I sobbed hysterically. This has taken away so much from me and I feel like a shell of the beauty that I used to be. My mom overheard me and texted me later that night saying “I wish you saw yourself in others eyes.” Which broke my heart. A few weeks after, she and I were talking in the car together about my bloodwork results. We had gone to do bloodwork a couple of days prior and I found out my cholesterol had shot up very high since I gained all that weight. High cholesterol and diabetes are genetic in both sides of my family, so I was freaked out about the fact that my cholesterol levels were so high. She used that to segue into telling me that she’s seen how sad I had been, noticing how much this has taken a toll on me. That’s when she offered me the semaglutide. She has high cholesterol issues too and she revealed to me that she had been put onto the semaglutide stuff by her doctor instead of pills. She said that maybe we could look into getting me into an appointment with the doctors office that had that stuff so that I wouldn’t have to be put on pills for high cholesterol at such a young age. But she also said that it could help me in readjusting my weight and in fixing my eating habits. I took time to think about her offer and I took it. I started to get the shots in October, and I’ve lost almost 12 pounds so far. I’m still sad, but seeing that difference in myself has made me feel a little bit confident again.

I want to know if anyone else struggles with their eating disorder but is on this medicine. I know that I need it for my cholesterol problems, but the weight loss aspect makes me feel really guilty. I feel like a phony for the fact that I’m on a medication that’s helping me lose weight but I can’t go back to my old methods from the peak of my anorexia. I feel so alone in my eating problems, like I’m fighting one of the world’s worst wars possible. I have only told one of my friends, my boyfriend, and my mom (of course) about the fact that I’m on this medication and I feel so ashamed of it. Has anyone else taken semaglutide? Do you have any advice/words of wisdom/ or recommendations for me in this process? Please let me know. I feel crazy about this and I don’t feel comfortable telling the people in my life just how far my eating disorder has extended over me.

I hope this doesn’t get declined or removed here, as it has everywhere else… I need to be honest and to the point but I’ll try to be as not graphic as possible, here really is my last hope.

I first was diagnosed with anorexia in 2015, when I was just 13… since recovering at 15 I have relapsed multiple times but always managed to get back on track as of September?? Not at all.

I was put on antipsychotics at a very high dose 4 years ago when I was really unwell with another mental health diagnosis I have which naturally made me horrifically gain until I was actually a bit overweight for the first time in my life… I said to my family at the time “I need them but the moment I do not this will end badly.” And sure enough this year I tapered myself off the dose in early July by September I was completely off them and I had lost some weight… this?? It kicked me off…

Since September I have dropped 37.8 kg and about 15kg before that… (think low 50s in kg) and I am 5’11, my behaviours getting worse and worse as the weight comes off which lands me at today 21 days and consumed nothing… my body is shutting down due to a long history of this and substance use (5 years clean woo!!), I was rushed to come here today by my doctor who took one look at me, my vitals, attempted to take blood (couldn’t just blew a vein, everything is so shrunken) I am in the medical hospital as I type this waiting to be transferred to an ed treatment centre across the country and yet I am horrified ‘cos I fear I will gonna be the only person there who is not there ‘cos of complications from a low weight but ‘cos they’re starving to death at a bmi of 16 much higher than my past hospital weights.

I know I need help to be able to sustain life, that is what I want too!! But putting me in a long term treatment centre with only 12 other patients who will definitely be thinner than me by a mile probably will only counteract any work they do, I sent my friend out to buy a bunch of clothes for me in sizes 2xl (think sweaters, hoodies everything to hide my shame.) I know it is that little disorder voice “you are not sick enough” and “everyone is gonna think you’re huge” plus “you will be huge compared to them” but it is eating me alive.

I just need support, I wish I could’ve just eaten some broccoli or enough to sustain life ‘cos I feel this may end in my permanent downfall, I am not seeking recovery at all but merely to be able to sustain life. And back to the thought of being the biggest person there?? The thought of it is like pulling teeth… in fact no I would rather pull teeth.

this podcast episodes dives deep into the overwhelming amount of pro-anorexia and pro-bulimia content that was on tumblr, and how it's impacted social media since. an interesting listen about early internet culture https://youtu.be/-57_wAfhuLo 

It's my birthday today, I've promised my mum to eat lunch with her. I'm scared because at the moment eating anything whatsoever is to much for me. I keep not eating for days on end but I'm really happy with my weight loss. I told myself It would be okay to eat today and for once I've got food on me as I'm heading to school and I'm so hungry but I'm genuinely scared. I have laxatives and I make sure to do 10,000 steps a day and workouts but I don't feel like it would be enough to stop me from gaining weight today.

I'm scared.

hiii! hope yall are doing well :3

im doing an EPQ (Extended Project Qualification) topic on ED (eating disorders) and was wondering if some people might be interested in sharing their story. It will be completely anonymous and i may ask a few questions :)) this is a safe space so feel free to talk about anything you want and I will not judge you in any way as this is a sensitive topic (go outside the rules if you want) ;3 If you are interested then you can dm me or on insta : mwah_zofia or snap : whos_zofiaaa

thank youu :P

I am in ed recovery but I gained an unhealthy amount of weight during treatment. I want to lose weight but I want to do it in a healthy way. I feel so unsupported by those around me. Does anyone else want to recover and lose weight at the same time? Is that a thing?? Lmk :/

I was really anorexic for a little bit but now I genuinely do want to gain weight but I don't get hungry or think about food. for a few months I had a lot of opportunities to eat each day so I ate a lot but now I have to make more of an effort to eat due to schedule changes and I just don't and I'm starting to lose a lot of weight. sometimes I do feel like a bit of comfort when i do feel hunger and I don't even really notice it or recognize it. but i have a few times and even then I just don't really want any food.

anyone have any recommendations for adult inpatients/residentials in the new england area that do ng tubes and treat anorexia and arfid. struggling so much w an awful appetite on top of everything else and iop isn’t cutting it

So I'm a 29 years old 5'4" female that is 267.9lbs and I've been binge eating for almost 6 years now. Every so often I talk to my mom she keeps bringing up that I'm eating to much and that I need to get help. I'm going through alot more things then just binge eating in my life. I can't stand hearing people say that I'm eating to much. It makes me feel like that they're calling me fat everytime. 😢💔

I know people say you need to acknowledge that you have a problem in order to get better. but is this actually true? Ever since i started acknowledging that i have an eating disorder it got so much worse. when i didnt think about hving an eating disorder i felt like i was actually normal. i didnt think abt food 24/7. i started telling myself i had an eating disorder two years ago and in this time my life has decayed. i am internally the worst ive ever been in my life other than being in a relationship with my abusive ex but that was emotion caused by him not truly internal. I think it's because i gained weight. when i was really skinny i was happier so it didnt feel like i was doing bad.

(its likely i used to be anorexic and then i started having binge eating problems , leading to bulemia. i gained a lot of weight in a short amount of time. I might have started thinking i had an eating disorder when i gained weight bc i feel fat but when i was very skinny i didnt think i had a problem?)

anyway does anyone else feel like this? Tht acknowledging having an eating disorder makes it worse? If i stop telling myself i have one will it go away???

Chat, whats wrong with me? TW: mention of food aversion and numerical weight I cant ever eat, in the rare even that I do get hungry, I start filling up after approximately two bites of food. I have to REALLY power through feeling intensely full to eat even close to a regular persons small serving and I never ever finish a meal. it sounds like ARFID symptoms at times, however it is not due to any texture or consistency aversion. I’m not exactly a picky eater… I don’t love a lot of things but I’ll always try new foods and I’m not that easily grossed out. i just hate eating. I’ve lost weight and gained it back and then lost it countless times over from trying to fight this. When I was younger (14-15) I had intentional anorexia due to my struggles with body image where I ate extremely limited quantities for a long time, however the intentional side of this ended before I turned 16. Now at 20, I’ve done everything I could for years to try to regain an appetite and weight, and occasionally Ive had a little success, but most of the time I feel like I’m two missed meals away from needing a feeding tube. PLEASE if anyone has experience with this or knows what this might be, please share ur thoughts. I’ve looked all over for similar experiences or symptoms but it seems to be uncommon.

Im looking for advice/tips/other experiences, anything. Here's my story: I'd always been naturally thin no issues. TW NUMBERS (5"3.5, 103 at 12 years. 5"1 ish & 90ish at 10/11) Then, at 12, I lost about 20 lbs in 1-3 months & was immediately hospitalized. Been in recovery ever since. Im doing VERY well with food, emotions, etc, BUT I still do not have my period!!! (I had my period when I was 12 btw) Im now TW ~120 & apparently shorter now 🙄(5"3) but NO period!!! Any advice on how to get it back? Im concerned for my development(i just turned 15 & haven't developed) and worried that i might have broken my body. does anyone have any advice, tips, or anything? Im pretty desperate 😞 Sending love to all you wonderful people ♥️♥️

Hello guys
I feel extremely helpless my sister who is 18 years old has been in a super toxic relationship with someone who has lied,cheated,abused her for over a year. She finally let go but it was a hard process. For the last 6 months she has been throwing up in cycles. First we thought it was something physical and checked her blood and other factors however everything came back normal. She continued to vommit for a week and stopped. We thought it was a one time thing however we were so wrong for a period of 6 months she continued to throw up on and off. At this time she was breaking up from the super toxic boyfriend, and she kept blaming us for this breakup. We believe sometimes she would trigger the vomitting cycles herself as her boyfriend owned the hospital we were going to and I believe she may have thought that if she seems bad and in a sick condition he wouldn’t break up with her because he would basically manipulate him to stay because she got sick. This went on for a while but now they really called it quits. He off with other women. But my sister is in a horrible state, she’s lost so much weight that it’s now all bone. We are so afraid for her she dosent eat for days,she dosent speak to us, she sleeps all day in her room and wakes up in between to vommit, she keeps telling me that she feels nauseous and then she chugs a lot of water to throw up and says it relives her however this can’t go on any longer as I am so scared for her life. We wanted to hospitalize her today but we got super scared as we still can’t accept the fact that she might have an Eating Disorder. What should we do??? Please help us we are super hopeless and have no clue how to deal with this.

I am in recovery for BN (restricting all day, bingeing at night and laxative abuse). Despite the ED behaviors, I have always been at a healthy weight, before and during recovery. In recovery, I’ve significantly reduced laxative use to 2 senna/day (from 20+) and I’m eating 3 meals and 2 snacks throughout the day.

While I’ve made great progress in recovery over the last year, I’ve gained a significant amount in one month due to increasing intake and I’m struggling with bloating and overall feeling too large in my body, especially since my clothes aren’t fitting. My dietitian is encouraging me to swap bloating foods such as lentils, cauliflower, chickpeas, etc. with ‘easier to digest’ foods like white rice, regular pasta (not legume varieties), and white/red potatoes. She thinks this will reduce bloating and help with the discomfort and overall discontent with my body.

However, I’m really struggling to make these swaps because I don’t see the nutritional value of foods such as potatoes and white rice. I have a science background in nutrition and as a result, feel biased towards nutrient-dense foods instead of simple carbs. However, I’m really struggling to make these swaps because I don’t see the nutritional value of foods such as potatoes and white rice. I have a science background in nutrition and as a result, feel biased towards nutrient-dense foods instead of simple carbs. I don’t know which thoughts are the ED talking and which are valid skepticism about eating nutrient-lacking foods. Can anyone help me rationalize making these dietary swaps? Anyone struggling with the same issue?

I've had a multitude of different eds since I was 14 and I'm now 20, at this point they have ruined a quarter of my life. Now in my 20s I'm trying to study for a degree but my mental health is horrible and I cannot eat properly - at the moment it's too much. I go through cycles of gaining and losing. It's destroying my body, my mind and my life. I don't know what to do I this point. I've had professional help in the past but it never seems to work/stick. I'm worried I'm ruined for life. I do things I told myself I'd never do because they're bad for me but I just don't care anymore and I have to try to act sane, so that people believe it. I know I can't give up, but I don't know how to fix it, I don't know if I'll ever be ok - really.

Context: I developed anorexia when I was 13, by 15 I was fine thanks to rehab, but at 20 I relapsed and never fully recovered. I'm 26 now, I eat enough to have energy to do my job. Mostly carbs and sugars, which makes me skinny fat. I'm not extremely thin, I would say I'm okay and actually I want to loose 5 kilos, but...

I had a photoshoot today after years and when the photographer posted the little reel we made to promote the next photos, I totally freaked out, my face looks so damn skinny like I have no chubby cheeks... Well I have no fat at all on my face, I just looked at myself and thought I looked so sick, I got scared and thought I should eat more, so after the photoshoot I got myself a burger but couldn't bring myself to finish it because I don't want to put on weight but I do feel like I need to.

I'm in a hole, idk what to do

I’ve struggled with my image for a long time. I developed an Ed and for about 6 months got deeply into it. I chose recovery and eat but I am 168 and 6’2. I thought losing weight would make me happier and it actually destroyed me even more. I miss my old self, and especially hate the fact that numbers control my life so much. I’m eating a healthy amount now, but sometimes i redownload apps to count how much I ate in the day. I just found myself doing it and am happy that I’m eating under what I thought I had today, but this still is an unhealthy mindset that I need advice for getting out of. I don’t want to be like this anymore. I miss being able to love people around me but I can’t because I’m always so focused on this. It consumes me at all times, how do I recover? Fully this time?