Welcome to /r/EOOD

Hello stranger :)

I (F33) am looking for people who have been or are where I currently am in life...which is stuck, to put it quite simply and want to share.

I don't know where to start. It's been a rough couple of years with many ups and downs.

Mid 2022 I left my partner of 3 years. The first man I ever considered having a family with. In hindsight, thankfully it didn't happen, we really were not a good match and I entirely lost touch of who I was.

I moved with my mother, both helping each other financially and we do enjoy each other's company.

Summer arrived and I decided to be care free. I started having several lovers at the same time while being safe and honest about it. But clearly, it was a very "me" centred phase, I needed to feel appreciated (mentally, physically....).

I met some great guys and one very unstable one but it took me a few months to figure that out (with a spectacular non-literal bang). In the same breath, my best friend and first love died. Shit timing but hey, it's life and it wasn't a sudden death. But still, it hurt but I wasn't dealing with it. Nor was I really aware of the hurt.

I was pushing myself, starting things way out of my confort zone, riding my outdoors bike weekly and being a lot more social (I am an introvert, quite a loud one but social interactions take a fair share of energy).

That was until summer 2023, I suddenly had a major depressive episode. Hung out all summer house-sitting at a friend binge watching nostalgic Stargate SG1 and eating. Period.

I had a few good things to look forward to for the end of the year (my grand-ma big 8.0 party, a trip to see my estranged father, etc...).

And then, I stopped pretty much everything. Social outings, singing lessons, looking to form a new band and...exercising (cycling). My weight and my mental state have been declining ever since (with a little respite this summer).

But yeah, from slightly overweight and fit, I am now officially obese and very unfit. Pretty apathetic most days... Thankfully, I have managed to keep my freelance business but it doesn't do much to get me out (I work online).

So that's the short version. I am 33, soon 34, currently living with my mother, obese, sedentary AF and pretty depressed.

My mother is planning to move out of the country and I have no idea of what's next or how to move forward. I have an indoor bike to exercice in, if I don't feel like going out. I have experience with callisthenics as well but no motivation whatsoever.

I guess I am looking for accountability and maybe some honest words to see outside of my bubble.

Realistically, I know that my life isn't a shit-show but it's not a place where I feel good. I need to move forward again... I have never been the most stable person to begin with but I manage, I was starting to be someone I really liked. That's the journey I want to hop on again.

I have started one step...that gets me out these days, a little voluntary work, helping out homeless people. But I know that I need to move my body again.

I love the rush of cycling but I am not motivated...

Thank you for reading through my inner (out) rant, I'm open to conversation.

Wishing you all a good day or eve!

Care to share your successes of this week, whether exercise or others? What went well, what is promising, what do you feel good about? If you have any selfies and progress pics to share, now is your chance

I don't know why/how this switched up but for some reason it went from being enjoyable to my thoughts and feelings about it becoming really unhealthy. the thoughts that go through my mind are about how i look, how much i weigh, how much i need to eat etc. i've started changing up what i do for exercise which has helped a little but i do miss lifting weights

Socializing can help depression, as can thinking of others, community service, caring for loved ones. Care to share any social activities that you have participated in this week or are planning to?

How have you unwound this week? Any creative projects you would like to share?

We tend to think of self-care as something like taking a long hot bubble bath or writing a journal. Something you do to slow down, relax and just for you. It's about "just being you and being present".

For me at least sweating like hell on my rowing machine or swinging my kettlebell is just being me and being present. When I am exercising I am not thinking on work problems, family problems, money problems or anything else. I am focussed 100% on what I am doing.

Each workout shows me what I am capable of both physically and mentally. I row further or faster, I do more reps and sets. I can celebrate those physical improvements and the mental improvements that allow me to keep trying.

I Move, Sweat and Repeat. I am me and nothing else but me when I do it. I am free.

Which workouts are you currently focusing on? What have you done to EOOD this week??

I have just finished reading this article about Gareth Thomas which is amazing as it is. What really struck me was where he talks about how one kick by Johnny Wilkinson that won the 2003 Rugby World Cup Final for England. That one kick changed Wilkinson from a good player to an all time great in an instant. Wilkinson has talked about how his obsession with practicing and training ruled his life and took him to very dark places. He also said that he wished how he felt at the moment of seeing the ball from that kick go between the goal posts would never end,

We all get the opportunity for that level of greatness in our own way.

We exercise, We sweat. It hurts, often more than we admit, even to ourselves. We keep doing it time and time again, because we sweat and sometimes because it hurts in a good way. Then one day we do everything right when we exercise.

We are not going to have the opportunity to do that in front of a global audience of a billion people. Perhaps no one but us will ever see it or know about it. We know though. We know for that one perfect moment we became a god or goddess standing on the world. We might never manage to be that good again but that moment stays with us through our whole lives. When we did it right.

I hope you have many moments like this. I hope exercising helps you to achieve them.

You got this. You can do it. We will all help you.

Have you tried something new that has helped you?

It doesn't have to be exercise related at all. Books, music, podcasts, tv, websites, organisations all help. Or it could be something someone said in passing that helped you and they have probably forgotten all about.

Taking the overall pulse here. How are you? If not well, think whether there are any positives to share as well to balance negatives. But of course, if you need to vent, know we are here to listen.

Have you been mindful lately? Made any useful observations that have helped you and could help others? Share any efforts especially ones that change your mind or attitude, meditation efforts, positive thinking, and gratitudes.

In addition or alternatively, have you had any successes in improving what you eat? Any good recipes to share?

When our mental health is bad it can be hard to envisage we have any future at all. The future is just more of the same pain and suffering. Everything is pointless and hopeless especially ourselves.

Exercise gives us hope and shows us we can get better. We can compare how fast, strong, flexible, coordinated, mobile, skilful we are now with what we were like before. We can see that we can continue to improve in the future. For me that gives me hope. If I can improve my body I can improve my mind.

Improving my body requires not just physical activity. To exercise regularly requires determination, dedication and discipline. Those are some of the first characteristics that mental health issues steals from us. Exercise allows me to find them again and build them up like I build up physical characteristics.

Go and have a great workout. See how far you have come and look forward to becoming even better in the future.

Care to share your successes of this week, whether exercise or others? What went well, what is promising, what do you feel good about? If you have any selfies and progress pics to share, now is your chance

Socializing can help depression, as can thinking of others, community service, caring for loved ones. Care to share any social activities that you have participated in this week or are planning to?

(27F) Trying for years and years. The best I could do was Kung Fu 3x a week for 6 months, but it never really made me feel any better, mentally or physically. It was in 2018. Since then I've been trying going for walks or working out at home, but I just hate it so much I count every second so I can just stop and lay on my bed (my blood exams are fine btw). It feels like it was just a waste of time, I only do it because people tell me so. I try starting it slow but I always give up after a few weeks. I see people saying how much they love exercising and how it helped them and I just wish I had that...

How have you unwound this week? Any creative projects you would like to share?

Our mental health issues remove ways of understanding. The world becomes difficult for us to understand and we become difficult for the world to understand. This lack of understanding creates even more problems.

Mental health professionals are trained to deal with this. They can recognise changes in behaviour and thinking and then for a diagnosis and prognosis from that. It is still be hard for them to understand what someone is experiencing in the same way that they understand it.

When we exercise everyone understands what we are doing. We go from "person with Type II Bipolar with comorbidities of x, y and z personality disorders who is currently in a manic episode and showing signs of delusional thinking" or more cruelly "whacko" to being a "runner", if only for a short while.

Exercise is something everyone understands. If you tell someone you exercise you instantly create an understanding between yourself and them, even if they don't exercise themselves. That person understands a part of you at least. That helps the two of you get along and it helps you and the world get along too.

I'm in a weird headspace.

I'm a first responder.

A lot of people rely on me to be strong and healthy. My co-workers, the citizens i serve, my gf, my friends.

It would not be an exaggeration to say that being strong enough to lift a person or to carry 75lbs of gear up flights of stairs, is a life and death thing for me.

I was doing well this year in terms of working out. I reached a 1000lb club two months ago (250+ bench, 450+ squat, 350+ deadlift). I was slowly getting better at calisthenics and HIIT workouts. I was running.

Then I absolutely hit a wall of stress and depression two months ago.

I've gone no contact with my parents and my entire family. I'm trying to buy a house in a terrible market because im housing insecure. I'm back in college while working full time.

All this started at the same time. I think this maybe the most stressed I've been in a long time.

The cherry on the cake is that I suffer from winter depression. I use sad lights to manage it but it lowers me to about 70% energy.

I've been so stressed lately, I can't focus to even work out. I find myself pacing in circles in the workout room. Or just doom scrolling my phone while laying on the bench rest so I don't think about the lack of affordable housing.

Top it all off I've been stress eating like crazy.

It's been almost two months now and I'm starting to spiral even more. I feel broken most days.

I keep trying to tell people in my life that I'm spiraling. But I don't think there's much they can do.

I see a therapist every other week or every three weeks. Depending on schedule. She's okay to talk too. But she can't really fix any of my big stressors.

My gf is the love of my life, but she doesn't handle stress well.

Co workers have been helpful with the house buying process but they ain't the talk about your feelings types.

I'll take any advice that people think will help.

I (26f) used to love weight lifting and was quite strong and fit. I’ve been in a relationship that slowly became more and more emotionally abusive and I’ve been depressed for so long now that I’ve found it hard to have energy and motivation for gym. I’m often just crying myself to sleep in bed instead. And of course, I’ve lost my strength over this time and my athletic looking body.

I want to get to the gym tonight but I’m so low in energy and depressed. Anyone got any ideas on how to handle this? I wanted to do leg day

I (30F) have begun a daily walk to help with stress and anxiety symptoms. I am overweight, pretty sedetary and have a not great diet. A perfect storm to make my mental health struggles worse. I've committed to a 15 minute walk daily outside to start easing into it.

The problem I'm having is I get winded pretty quickly when going on moderate pace walks. This is turn makes my anxiety spiral. My father passed from heart failure (mid 50s) and one of his symptoms was shortness of breath. I'm currently working with a cardiologist to bring down high cholesterol and take preventative measures for my future heart health. I did have an EKG and a Holter test and the Holter found quite a signature amount of PVCs.

Now I'm terrified that the shortness of breath while walking is heart related and it makes me not want to walk. I've called my cardiologist today and updated them of this symptom but I would just like some reassurance if anyone else has experienced this anxiety around being winded during activity. This could be a new symptom of anxiety for me but it's one I haven't had in the past so it's freaking me out a bit.

Which workouts are you currently focusing on? What have you done to EOOD this week??

This survey has been approved by the moderators]

Hi!

We are 5th-year medical students studying at Medical University in Gdansk, Poland. We see a lot of stigma and lack of understanding towards people who at some point of their lives will use or become addicted to substances. We decided to set up a survey research that will allow us to see what you view as important regarding your substance use and whether there are any trends (qualitative, quantitative) regarding substance addiction. It can tailor treatment programmes to specific needs based on individuals' profile and characteristics, making them more effective.

As students, we receive no funding for our project - therefore, we never contact journals that don't publish open-access articles for free. Science should be for everyone.

It should take you around 5-10 minutes to complete. We don't ask about personal details and you can complete the survey asking only structured questions (yes/no, check-in boxes). Short answers are appreciated but voluntary.

The Google Form link can be found here: https://forms.gle/tQMc2cN6jQwH7X33A

Thank you for taking your time. Your 10 minutes is as valuable as years of clinical experience.

Kind regards,

Julia Lassmann and Artur Varkovic, 5th-year medical students (Faculty of Medicine at Medical University of Gdansk).

Have you tried something new that has helped you?

It doesn't have to be exercise related at all. Books, music, podcasts, tv, websites, organisations all help. Or it could be something someone said in passing that helped you and they have probably forgotten all about.

Taking the overall pulse here. How are you? If not well, think whether there are any positives to share as well to balance negatives. But of course, if you need to vent, know we are here to listen.

The scars on our bodies are the reminder of physical pain. I have twisted and bent fingers caused by broken knuckles I picked up playing rugby or in fights when I was a younger man. I have some weird lumps on my ears where they were starting to cauliflower playing rugby. I have a few ribs that have bumps on them from where they healed badly when they were broken. I have scars from nasty cuts and gashes I picked up in accidents at work and elsewhere. I have tattoos as a reminder of pain I welcomed and endured as I wanted to see the end result.

It is said that you don't really remember pain. I think its true. I can show people the scars and tattoos on my body and explain how and why they are there. I know it hurt at the time but I don't really remember what it was like.

The impact of even the most traumatic physical injuries can be healed or at least minimised with modern medical science. For the types of physical injuries most of us deal with doctors can set bones and stitch us up. We get a scar to help us remember not to do that again.

Then there are the other sorts of scars, the ones we have in our minds. These are caused by trauma and abuse, by deep psychological pain. The scars of mental pain is depression, anxiety, personality disorders, phobias, obsessions, compulsions, delusions, hallucinations, and many more , This sort of scar doesn't seem to fade, never becomes a story to tell to people for a bit of fun. They definitely not caused by something you endured because you wanted the end result like a tattoo.

I have my mental scars too. I remember vividly my mother telling me I was "a stupid boy" when I was around 4 or 5 years old. Now when anyone questions my ability to do my job I am triggered. I have an irrational fear of crabs. I hate being lost and not knowing where I am especially if I am driving. I hate anything to do with dates and especially planning things around dates. I am triggered when my wife sees something in a shop window when we are walking by and stops to look at it without telling me. I am triggered when someone calls me Robert instead Rob as only my mother calls me Robert.

Mental scars can heal too. It takes a lot longer and its hard work. Doctors and therapists can help us to heal ourselves. They can show us our scars, help us understand what caused them and how to cope with and overcome them in time. That process is almost like getting a tattoo in my mind. The therapy and other treatments are painful and difficult to endure. You know the end result will be worth it though because your healed mental scar becomes like a tattoo, a source of personal pride.