Im 22 my dad went to jail when I was 2 and spent 10 year in prison. He got out when I was 12 but my family wouldn't let him have any contract with me or my brother. Now that I'm a adult he had reach out wanting to reconnect. I want to reconnect with him but I don't really know how to. I spent my whole childhood not knowing anything about him but I was always angry and mad at him.

My husband runs a business so he's very adamant about being on time.

My side of the family (mom and bros) are not. They are the type of people were you can never criticize them because they just resort to their old ways. They are also enabled, bad with money and not too responsible. Some of them have mental illnesses that may be undiagnosed. 1 of my bros has bipolar and is on meds. They've been through a lot of trauma, not an excuse but life has been rough for us. I'm the only one who got out of the dysfunction but not really if I'm here.

I've tried to talk to them but they just say sorry and do it again. I feel like the only way to end this is just to cut them out our lives and then we'll have nobody. I've talked to my husband about it, it bothers him a lot and I understand his POV. Idk what to do about this, it's draining.

I have a bad relationship with my family and my mom has cancer. She said she really wanted me to go to thanksgiving because it might be her last holiday season. She wanted me to apologize to everyone who’d be there so I did and I thought they all received it well. Apparently not they won’t even let me come see the wicked movie with them or come over to see my mom when they’re not even home. Now I’m still “not allowed” at thanksgiving. Just spending it alone i guess. I’m a single 28y/o living alone. This will be the worst holiday ever. Well until next year if my moms right about this being her last holiday. So fucking great.

Hello guys im 18 years old student of high school. The issue with my parents is that they are manipulative, abusive, superficial and not unconditional. Both have fear of abandoment, we often moved out with my mother and my brother with aspergers. I had pretty big ambitions, especially when i was living in the boarding school, but that changed when my parents couldnt afford it(mom later told me that us living in home is more expensive lol i told her that) and now I'm living with my parents. I struggle with the basic Maslov's pyramid needs like warmth, food, sleep, fresh air(no air conditioning), less but still pretty basic like safety(my father has threatened of offing me in the past, also my mother if i misbehave could spread lies about me/ call mental hospital on me she threatened me with that), fincancial stability is a big issue, parents constantly give me money and then borrow it like crazy and then lie to me(mostly mother lies about the money to me and my brother) that she is so good and gave me a lot of money. Needs that i crave, but lack mainly because of not having the more basic ones are: relationships, frienships , condfidence, social status, and what i crave the most is the using my potential and do self-fullfillment/improvement. I have ambitions academical, in sports, money, and those i wrote previously. Also i would like to have good mental health, more empathy, more EQ and don't get in legal trouble. But that's not really possible if I'm constantly hungry, cold hands, and my parents don't have a car so i need to firstly ride 25 min bus and then walk 3,5 that's 2 miles which takes around 45 minutes. Then get undressed in a cold home( I realized today that I procrastinate on it because of the cold and lose another 30 minutes). Then i need to eat and half and hour or an hour of chopping wood with not much food on average( I have big need for food like 3000-3400kcal to feel full maybe I'm in a growth spurt or still developing), man that's exausting and taxing. My autistic brother has it even worse: he is having always i mean always(maybe not in the summer) cold purple hands and is constantly catching colds. He just lays in bed all day, because its the only place he feel warm. He doesnt study, fails almost all subjects his average grade/gpa is around 1.6 which is insane, he has below 50% attendance on average, he may fail class or go to special needs school(which may not be that bad).
What i want to achieve by this post:
a)tips on how to deal with narcissistic parents, how to deal with manipulation, economical abuse, verbal abuse and threats
b) should i get them in legal trouble or get social care to help us?
c) should i go to boarding school again? People are worrying about me, asking why we constantly move out and change places, I'm in my family house 3rd week now. I don't want humiliation again of people asking and being tired of me changing places. I've already needed to explain it so many times in my life... Now to come back after 3 weeks? How to ensure that I will stay there? My mom will always find a dumb argument and force us to live at certain places. She used to rent places, loose money, a lot and then come back to alcoholic dad. I hate the feeling of coming back from rented apartment/ from family to cold, unclean place with small amount of square feet and constantly clothes and other mess laying everywhere.

What would you do if someone was saying something untrue or defaming you behind your back? My SIL is spreading a false narrative to other people after my husband confronted her about stealing money from their elderly Mother. She has blocked us on all socials and now all of a sudden some “friends” are unfollowing and blocking us. It’s just so heartbreaking that she can’t even take accountability and is now causing more issues 😔

It’s getting difficult every year to find a reason to celebrate the holidays. My daughter locked up and a son who went to live with grandparents and never came back! So my husband and I just hang out together his family is a disappointment so yeah 👍

Do I move out or stay put?

I’m 20F and I’ve finished my first year of occupational therapy at USYD. I have 3 years to go. (I’m on a scholarship so it’s practically free)

I have a shit family, I want to leave and dissapear - yes to that point, it’s so bad the gaslighting, manipulation, neglect, unfair treatment, I’m so tired. I keep to myself and stay in my room or leave the house whenever I can. To add the area I live in (western Sydney) —> theres lots of trauma there and so moving away to an area where I would know no one would be ideal kinda like Newcastle or like Eastwood or somewhere just quiet

1. Do I drop out, find a job and move? And live alone —> which I have fantasised about SO MUCH 😭

2. Do I stay studying and stay with my shit family?

Note - I have like 20k in savings so I guess that’s helpful? But idk how yet rip😭😭

Also another note- I’m not interested in marriage. I’ve never had the time to think about marriage, I’m usually just trying to survive my home. That’s the reason I’m scared to leave university. An education is so important for me to have, to fall back on.

**Updated version

Here’s some information on my current financial situation: I only have $1500 in savings and 3000 in credit card debt (thanks college). I also have 15k in students loans and a monthly car payment of $180.

I recently got a job offer in Denver, Co. the Salary offered is 51k. I currently live out of state and would have to relocate myself. Hard financially for me, but feasible. I am a recent (June 2024) college graduate with a bachelor degree in the humanities.

I’m wondering other peoples opinions on this. Is this pay reasonable? Or fair for a new graduate in contrast to cost of living in Denver?

Here’s some background on my current situation.

I’m still working my college job making maybe if I’m lucky 30k a year. I’m back living at my parent’s house because costs for housing got too high for me while I was still in college. My mom was and is incredibly abusive towards me. Verbally, mentally, emotionally and sometimes physically. I have been back home for 1.5 years while finishing up college. It’s been so painful and exhausting. Living my trauma over and over has lead me to the ER for thoughts of unaliving myself. I feel like a failure for having to move back in with her to begin with and not finding a job right after graduation has prolonged the pain. I want to get out of her house and out of the state she lives. She has so much control over me. But I’m worried this job won’t pay enough and I’ll be back at her house after I crash and burn in Denver. The housing is still too high and I don’t think I can afford living on my own on that salary. I’m confused and don’t know what to do. I also have some health problems that I have to foot the medical bills for and I have to pay out of pocket for therapy right now as well. I would feel like I’m idiot for passing up the first high paying job offer I’ve gotten after 6 months of sending out 25 job applications a day 7 days a week and very few interviews.

If you were in my situation what would you do? Is it worth the financial burden to get away from the nightmare I’m in right now? Any advice would be so, so appreciated.

If that child speaks everyone rolls their eyes. The accomplishments of that child is dismissed as nothing. There is no emotional support for that child. Things that the child says that are insightful on family issues are dismissed as nothing. If that child has anything good going for them, it upsets the family. There is no healthy emotional communication in the family.

This dynamic does not exist for any other child.

Why would a family target this child in this way into adulthood?

At first, I thought my boyfriend’s mom and sibling were nice, but as time went on, their true colors started to show. My boyfriend knows I don’t like his family, and honestly, he feels the same way. He really wants to leave, but he just started working, so he needs time to save up.

My boyfriend comes from a broken family. His father used to provide financial support for him, but it all went to his mom, who used it to pay off her debts. He even had to stop studying because his mom convinced him to, saying things like, “Don’t bother studying, you won’t amount to anything in life anyway.” Worse, she would badmouth him to his dad, which caused his dad to stop supporting his education altogether.

Then there’s his sibling—always meddling in everything! Like, bro, I thought you could take care of yourself? Turns out, they’re just freeloading. It’s frustrating to see my boyfriend struggling in his own home. He even gets stolen from—his mom and sibling gamble away his money!

Here’s a recent example: He asked his dad for some money to pay for his police clearance. His dad gave it to him, but his mom and sibling took half of it, leaving him with barely enough. Can you believe the audacity?

Honestly, I know I have no right to meddle, but it hurts seeing my boyfriend suffer. His mom has so much debt and even hides in Bataan to avoid her creditors! And his sibling? A full-blown scammer. I’m at my wit’s end here. Is there anything we can do? Can we report his mom to the barangay or something? I just needed to vent because I’m so annoyed.

My family is very dysfunctional . My dad is not in the picture and my aunt whom I am close with isn't joining this year . My mom invited our grandma and my two younger sisters and the husband of one. My twin and I are going to have take my grandma back even though we are the farthest distance. My siblings will most likely be high and my mom will be drunk by end of dinner. No one has anything to say or my sisters just talk among themselves . We recently are all having sisters issues and it doesn't help that my grandma doesn't know they got married. ( I wasn't invited either lol). If I dont go my mom will be mad. Im just going to suck it up and sit their quietly enjoying my food. My siblings are usually fake and it not like we talk /hang out much. The husband doesn't talk and my mom just ask how the food is every 5 minutes. She invited my grandma because she uncomfortable around us all . At home , my twin and I usually eat together and she watches TV with her dinner or is out. We maybe eat at the table once a week if even .it so silly to have anxiety over this. I am apartently too mean and socially awkward to be at the wedding and the other siblings is closer to one whom got married recently. I tried to tell my mom I didn't want to go ,but she said I would ruin my relationship with my siblings and how we all need to come together as a family and how it could be our last time together . When I mentioned to my mom about driving since my other siblings live closer to my grandma ( they never call her like i do). My mom response was her kids are selfish and lazy***. It a dinner and I have to work black Friday at retail store and Saturday so I have to be mentally sane . F29. Also I'm sober.

The day after the election, I got a surprising text from my youngest sister. "I'm done with this family. I just had a huge fight with (my older sister and younger brother). I'm sorry I didn't stand up for you before. I stand with you now.".

My youngest sister was not one to ever make waves. She would just ghost everyone. For her to become suddenly so assertive and outspoken was shocking.

We've talked a lot since. I've been the black sheep of the family since—forever. My family is sick. Gregory Bates theory of schizophrenia was that whole families are sick. That mental illnesses are expressed in the "weakest" of the family group: the scapegoat. The mental "poop" other members project onto the target: jealousy, fear, insecurity, etc. I had the audacity to achieve some success in the modeling and entertainment field. Can you imagine how that affected the other members of a sick family? I had to be destroyed. Mobbing, ganged up on. They did a good job of it, too.

The cult of dad was recreated with the cult of my older sister and BIL.

With 4 younger half siblings, whose mother died before they were 20, and a father who emotionally abandoned in selfish grief (I'm convinced he's undiagnosed BPD), they were ripe for exploitation by my Gomer Pyle KKK brother-in-law.

For nearly 40 years, the cult of Brian—and dad—was successful: slander, control, gossip, splitting, and "sadistic altruism," a term coined by Professor Sam Vaknin. You know, "Of course I will help you out. In exchange, I get to control you."

Being narcissistically abused for 40 years by family members who supposedly loved me took years to understand. The vernacular of trauma, adverse childhood experiences, narcissistic people, and the entire Cluster B class of personality disorders is recent. And I did a good job of living up to their characterization of me.

Until I woke up.

I became a Buddhist and got into trauma therapy. I joined trauma groups. I reached out for community support. 6 years of my quiet strength and their dysfunction just, rose to the top of reality. I went No Contact with my father 3 years ago. I do love them. From a safe distance.

And, a week ago, my youngest sister woke up. "I've been in therapy for 6 months now", she told me.

As of November 7th, we broke from the family cult, and have gone no contact.

Because it's not politics. It's about ethics, morals, and not being a member of a cult that traffics in secrets, lies, and shame. Where everything looks good on the outside, and chaos reins within.

I am awake. My sister is awake. I'm a black sheep. And I stand with other black sheep. Strength is in community, empathy and truth. Whoever and wherever you are: you are not crazy. It's not you. It's them.

r/nocontactfamily r/politics r/narcissisticabuse r/narcissism r/childhoodtrauma

This is a vent about my parents and the frustration I have with how they act 

I grew up with my parent’s drama they were always dysfunctional, they both came to America when they were in their early 20’s. They worked very hard and were never a problem to society. Except when it came to personal life they're a hot mess.

My dad is emotionally unavailable and an alcoholic. He also has tendencies of abuse as he grew up in an abusive toxic masculinity is superior sort of thing. He used to physically abuse my mom when we were kids and would threaten us if he was in a very bad mood. Anyways I have horrible memories of mom and us kids having to legit “run away” from home to go to a local motel, when he was losing his crap because my mom would be terrified of him. It was actually what you see in movies where we had to tell the front desk not to tell we were there in case my dad came looking for us.

Also my mom kind of never really fully protected us from this toxic life, so I kind of am disappointed with her from that aspect. 

But they did co-depend on each other so they are STILL married after years….

Fast forward they still have their drama and I don’t feel so bad anymore just because they are grown adults who choose to be in their dynamic? 

Also my dad was never supportive emotionally or personally he was just a sort of very tough love sort of guy with us daughters (he only had daughters until ….) 

So then they decide to have ANOTHER kid this time my dad always wanted a boy so they did IVF and got a boy.  Except my mom got pregnant with him at 59! So she had a lot of complications and had a preterm baby. She literally almost died delivering my brother 3 months earlier. 

My little brother has some disabilities and he is so loved but my dad is not hands on, he also comes home and gets frustrated that my little brother can’t learn quickly (I think he is in denial about his disabilities or something) anyways one time my dad yelled at me because I wasn’t teaching my brother enough (mind you me and my mom are the ones who teach him how to read and such) my dad does not do that at all. So I thought my dad has no place and is insane for getting mad when I’m the one who is more involved than him with his academics haha. 

Anyways my mom just continues to take my dad’s toxic behavior and never defends herself. She kind of stays quiet and just takes it I'm sure thats how she's adapted.

My parents also never gave me and my siblings the proper guidance but I honestly think they were never capable of this. So every success my siblings and I strive for is all our own efforts. 

Also what’s frustrating is my parents both mom and dad ask my engineering sister for money all the time to help pay their bills.

They never plan financially yet always complain about money and spend it on frivolous things. And yes even my mom isn’t the most nurturing she would send me to have talks with my little sister because she felt "uncomfortable" lol so why did you have kids if you can't talk openly with them? I just think they both could’ve done way better and just nothing I want to be like when I have a family. 

Also when they had my brother in their late age it’s like they didn’t plan for any financial plan or realize how expensive it is to bring another kid into the world. And now they are a financial mess always asking my older sister for money, also when I make good money I’m sure they will ask me for help and that’s fine but I feel like they got away with such shitty behavior and I’m low key over it! I kind of felt bad writing this but they are just very dysfunctional and want to know if others experienced similar things.

Any advice? them being my parents, I kind of don’t respect them deep down but love them. I just don’t think they set a good example at all.

I’m an adult in my 20's who was just visiting home and in the middle of a career switch so I was staying at their home for a few moths while working online. However, I am leaving their house soon. But just being in this crap again is absolutely horrifying lol. Also I think my life would have been way different if I had correct parenting.

I feel like my mother sometimes hates me. She makes degrading comments about my body such as calling me fat and telling me I’m gaining weight. She also will make comments on the things that I wear from time to time like when I’m wearing an off the shoulder top she’ll say things like oh your strap is showing you shouldn’t be doing that it’s showing you’re easy or trashy. I feel like she’s purposely trying to hurt my feelings.

I am a POC and when I was a teenager working in a restaurant and older man made a racist comment about me, this was about 6 years ago and last night she randomly brought it up saying remember when that guy called you, and she said the racist comment. I was shocked, she then continued to say yeah you should have slapped him, my dad and I just looked at each other then at her and told her to stop then she said, what the old guy on the tv reminded me of that… like what?

My own brother hasn’t even told our parents that he’s been in a relationship for the last year because my mother said a couple years ago that she would never like the girl my brother dates…

Are all moms like this? Is this normal?? How can I deal with it?

My mother is 68 very “young” and healthy. She works full time as a tailor at her own business all day. She has gotten in 2 very bad accidents in the last 2 years… like airbags out bad… she refuses to stop driving and my other siblings don’t have the balls enough to side with me and speak up. When I have been with her she will drive 49 in a 55 and complain the drivers are flying like bats outta hell.

Anyone experience this? How do you feel about your parents driving? I’m always the bad guy with my siblings so idgad.

I’m losing it because I worry one day the call won’t be so pleasant.

Recently my dad was in the icu because he was in a really bad state so my mom was not in the right head space at the time neither was my sister so the one who had to be on top of things was me and I had to balance school and the things the hospital needed from my mom but she couldn't do one because of my dad and work but also because she can't speak English so I had to translate alot of things and I was stressed out I still am because I have to be on top of things still and right now my dad is home healthy but he's not 100% okay so I still need to be on top of things with his doctor's appointments and he's insurance and also his health making sure he takes his medicine on time and healing his injuries that he has it all lands on me and my mom and sister do nothing at all and im tired I'm stressed out I love my dad and im happy that he's okay but God damn it i wasn't even allowed to cry infront of him because my mom would tell me to shut up and right now my dad needs a picture for his passport but I was busy doing my homework so I told them to ask my sister she's not doing anything but no it has to be me so I got mad and said that everything has to be on me why have another kid for them not to help out and my mom was tell me how come when I need something she has to buy it and I simply told her it's becuase she my parent she has to do it but no she didn't like that and now I'm the bad guy I'm in the car having a panic attack because of them and I haven't had one in a while and I just need someone who can help me clam down cuase I have no one

I know the title sounds bad but my sister is harassing my entire family. For some background my sister (34f) thinks me being born ruined her life. My father divorced her mother over 30 years ago and married my mother about 27 years ago. I (26f) never really got to know her well because she ended up living with her abusive drug-addict mother unfortunately. My mom and dad went through hell and many custody battles but in the end my sister decided to live with her mother. Through the years he would visit here and there and we would visit her here and there until they moved out of state when she was 18, I was 10. I have visited her only 2 or 3 times once I turned 18 so we are not very close to begin with. We started getting closer once she got married and I had children. My parents always made an effort and anytime they had extra money they would go visit. My mom and her became very close during the pandemic. She called my mom almost every day and told her all her problems, they were super close. She came a few months ago to see us and at the time we all had a good time, well apparently not. As soon as she went back to her state she texted us all horrible things mostly about me and my mother and how we ruined her life and are terrible people. My dad got upset and pretty much yelled at her to stop if she ever wants to continue to have a relationship with us. We told her we didn’t understand where this was coming from and we needed to talk but she just kept throwing insults and lies. We were genuinely concerned she had a mental break. For our sanity we blocked her and told her to just leave us alone if she cannot calm down and talk to us like an adult without insulting us. That didn’t work she started making fake Facebook accounts to stalk us and message us. My parents unblocked her but haven’t reached out in 6 months. Now and then we get weird texts cussing us out whatever. I never respond and she’s blocked l, I’ve not had any contact at all! Yesterday she went nuts again and is now threatening calling child family services on me, she won’t say for what exactly but it’s ridiculous. I’m not worried about it, it’s just going to be more problems I don’t need for no reason( we have a lot of other more pressing real problems going on right now I don’t need this). I don’t know what to do to get her to leave us alone. How do I get her to stop and just leave us alone. I’m scared to escalate anything but I’m scared to just let her throw baseless accusations around either. Sorry for the rant I needed to get this out it been eating me up.

My sister is 14(F), and my parents share her custody. She lives either with my absent mom, or with a psychopathic narcissist father and step mother, who indulge her in every single vile way to buy her love. (I understand that nuances in this situation matter), I always tried my maximum to give her attention and safety with me, because I consider she doesn't have a single parent in all honesty. She chooses my fathers side and explicitly brings materialistic things as her reason to stay with dad at home, She never told me that explicitly, but my Mom did (I consider her very imperfect, but not to the level my dad is, I suspect he has a full blown personality disorder.

And my mother proved to me, that she can correctly inquire information, regarding what is happening in my dad's home, of course I take it with a grain of salt and don't act on anything just because she gave me some information). I tried spending maximum time with my sister, and I feel like she is not honest with me, even though I genuinely believe I create a safe environment when I spend time with her separately. I'm told that my dad completely demolishes my brother and I in front of her, calling us unbelievably vile things, which are not true, except the fact that we are definitely coping with the shit our parent put us through, before our sister was born. My dad allows myself to sister to skip school whenever she wants, she can kick out any of her tutors, she can go to sleep at 4am, she has an access to a credit card and spends tons of money, my mom receives the receipts.

I confronted my Mom to pick up her part of the responsibility and spend more time with her, but I'm starting to believe my sister doesn't even care to have a relationship with her mom, who is not a (YES man) basically and doesn't indulge her every impulse. My mom doesn't allow her to skip school, she always suggests her to go to sleep earlier, and explicitly tells her not to drink alcohol and smoke, (my dad doesn't care). I feel cornered, I don't know what to do, when I was her age I had easier time understanding that even though both of my parents were dysfunctional, there was no way I would trust my father over my mother, my mom at least has some basic level of emotional intelligence. I don't expect her to be able to do what I was able to do, we are not the same person, (I don't even think she should necessarily just stay with my mom, she should be able to stay with both of them) So I made sure not to talk shit about either my dad or my mom with her, there might have been some slip ups because it was unavoidable, but my intuition was, If somebody always tells her shit about other people (me, my mom, my brother) and when she hangs outs with us (my brother, mom and I) and feels emotionally safety and more stability and openness with us, that she will naturally come to realisation who might be the culprit here) but I've observed for long and slowly come to a realisation that she doesn't come to that realisation. I'm starting to believe I need to make a change and approach her in a different way. I thought of whooping her dads ass, but I know that that will backfire and that (father, and his new pregnant wife) will happily twist that against me, my mom, and her brother, and further use it as an argument against us, in front of my sister. They can do that because of their financial resources, as they can basically buy people (We don't live in the US).

Now I think I need to stop sheltering her from talking shit about my dad, seeing that she is picking a side at all, and on top of that she is picking his side, I want to tell her everything and even confront her for being so dishonest with me, she is all happy and smiles with me, gossips about her friends around me, and then I hear she talks vile shit about me, my brother ,and my mom?! I mean it's understandable as my father and his new gold digging Wife are proactively working to make her believe and say those things, so that they cover their own dysfunctions) but I need to take action, do I confront her regarding that? What do I do??

So I know most people would have shared the news they’re expecting with family sooner than later. I’m 17 weeks (or 4 months). My husband and I have had a rough few years with our 2nd daughter passing in the NICU in 2022, and then us going through a separation, reconciliation and then having fertility issues; life hasn’t been kind the last two years.

My spouse (30) and I (27) are both military and don’t live close to family so updating them on my fertility issues has been over the phone. His family is supportive, my problem is that I the only family I have are my sister and my mother and neither of them thought my health/ fertility issues were a big deal. They’d always just dismiss my updates as if they were no big deal, so I’d stop updating them. Now, I’m 17 weeks pregnant, showing very obviously and haven’t told either of them. I already don’t talk to my sister because she’s a narcissist and it just wouldn’t bring me peace telling her, so I haven’t… and my mom (56) is now dating someone 16 years younger than her who has 4 children, the youngest being 13 months old and oldest being 18. We are 36(my sister) and 27 (me) and she hasn’t been the best mom the last few years struggling with her own things financially, emotionally etc. (which I get). So now I don’t want to tell my mom because she’s basically parenting someone else’s kids at 56 years old when she hasn’t even been parenting own, or been a great grandmother to her only living granddaughter for that matter. My last reason is that I feel like no one cares about the third baby. Even though our second passed away and we only have one living child (a 3 year old), this is still our third baby and I’m just afraid everything will be different. I’ve really been struggling with this if anyone has any input or advice.

Once upon a time, a girl and a boy fell in love although their relationship went through many difficulties. We don't know what's going on in the guy's head exactly, but we know of the girl's, so we'll go from there. She loved him and cared for him. She also came from a "dysfunctional family" that he didn't know of. Because of that family she had behavioural issues she kept trying to fix and suppress. She had problems with self confidence, balancing selflessness and self care in a relationship, anger management, expressing herself, stubbornness, you name it. He didn't exactly know any of this because she was good at hiding and suppressing herself and being nice. Some things happened over time that she felt like she wouldn't be happy with him, or anyone else basically. Like that he was kinda overly possessive over behaviour and cloths, believed and expressed how he thought girls are bad drivers (can be sparred bcs he didn't know she'd get insecure and she would never admit it, so, yeah) and some other minor annoying things But the story gets particularly bad since they decided what they want to do after graduation. She wanted to study abroad and live there to earn more money and make a better life for her children, one without her home country's problems. He wanted to stay because he didn't believe those were big problems, maybe he was right amd they weren't, but he also wanted to stay to take care of her single mom who'd be alone if he left and who also wouldn't want to move anywhere else. So he was right, but still she felt like she came second in his life. She didn't want to make him choose between his mom or anything, but still felt pained by not being chosen. Then he put it on her to choose if she wanted to let go of studying or moving abroad, or to stay with him. She found it harder to choose him now that he'd already not chosen her. So here she was, deciding how to be successful in her home country and feel more free in a 3rd world country later in life and protect her children from it all. (Again, later when she had them. And yes, she's an overthinker) she wanted to see if she wanted to stay for herself before she declined to stay for him. She couldn't figure it out though, and she felt he doesn't care. And he kept saying he thinks she doesn't care. So they were in a loop of thinking the other doesn't care, while they themselves didn't really care, complicated, I know

Any advice on how the f*ed up story can continue? Don't say they should talk, cause the have, and he wanted to stay for her mom no matter what, for the rest of his life, ALL OF IT!

I recently got a job offer in Denver, Co. the Salary offered is 51k. I currently live out of state and would have to relocate myself. Hard financially for me, but feasible. I am a recent (June 2024) college graduate with a bachelor degree in the humanities.

I’m wondering other peoples opinions on this. Is this pay reasonable? Or fair for a new graduate in contrast to cost of living in Denver?

Here’s some background on my current situation.

I’m still working my college job making maybe if I’m lucky 30k a year. I’m back living at my parent’s house because costs for housing got too high for me while I was still in college. My mom was and is incredibly abusive towards me. Verbally, mentally, emotionally and sometimes physically. I have been back home for 1.5 years while finishing up college. It’s been so painful and exhausting. Living my trauma over and over has lead me to the ER for thoughts of unaliving myself. I feel like a failure for having to move back in with her to begin with and not finding a job right after graduation has prolonged the pain. I want to get out of her house and out of the state she lives. She has so much control over me. But I’m worried this job won’t pay enough and I’ll be back at her house after I crash and burn in Denver. The housing is still too high and I don’t think I can afford living on my own on that salary. I’m confused and don’t know what to do. I also have some health problems that I have to foot the medical bills for and I have to pay out of pocket for therapy right now as well. I would feel like I’m idiot for passing up the first high paying job offer I’ve gotten after 6 months of sending out 25 job applications a day 7 days a week and very few interviews.

If you were in my situation what would you do? Is it worth the financial burden to get away from the nightmare I’m in right now? Any advice would be so, so appreciated.

They left me homeless and spead unfounded rumors because I won't go along with their Jesus derangement. I took to X to tell my side and to expose them. I post their names and info, I do hope the left call them up to chew them out. I also tell off the dumbass Republican party wile I am at it and even bragged about celebrating my abusive mother's death.

These subhuman Trump's Deranged Supporters have phones glued to their hands, none of them have responded, I can not believe my posts here and there have not beenseen by these thieving shitheads. MAGA are cowards, they like to backstab you but are too gutless once confronted in public. Then may be biologically related but have never been family. Jesus freaks only reinforce why I do not need that shit in my life, godboys are despicable.

also taken to Bluesky with a long thread

https://bsky.app/profile/morningstarkiss.bsky.social/post/3lb3jsyp2dd2e

I've been married for a little over a year, and we have a toddler together. I mistakenly believed that my spouse’s controlling behavior would change over time. I gave up too much control and my own autonomy early on in our relationship, and now I’m struggling with the consequences. I can’t even spend time with my close family without her presence, and she doesn’t see this as a problem. I feel like it’s my fault for allowing things to get this bad.

She doesn’t believe her behavior is controlling. She’s refused therapy, claiming that this is just who she is and that every relationship is different. I didn’t sign up for this. I ignored her possessive tendencies early on because of her other great qualities. When we first met, I was going through a period of deep depression, reckless behavior, and addiction. She helped me through it all, as did my mom and sister. She told me that the thing she wanted most in a relationship was someone to do everything with—someone to get married to and have children with.

What I didn’t realize is that "everything" meant all my free time should be dedicated to her. Early on, I learned that things would only go smoothly if I allowed her to control where I went and how I spent my time. But I can’t go on like this anymore.

I’ve been patient, and we've had many discussions about this. I waited a year, thinking she would be more understanding now that we’re married and have a child together. (Her ex-partner strung her along for years with promises of buying a house and starting a family, so I thought things might improve with time.) But I was wrong. I thought she would change, but I now realize that I’ve just been conditioned to avoid conflict at all costs.

The other day, I went to breakfast with my sister right after work (I had let my wife know beforehand and offered to bring her anything she wanted). But when I returned home, I felt like I had done something wrong. I was shaking. I haven’t had a chance to talk to my sister face to face in a while— we used to be really close. When I came home, I was met with a cold shoulder. She was visibly upset, and I felt like I had failed again. I thought she had made progress, but I was wrong.

I definitely made mistakes, and I believe that we should reflect and learn from them. But I don’t know how to move forward when my spouse doesn’t see where she could be wrong. I can’t continue living like this.

All,

I’d encourage everyone who is struggling with family problems to find their purpose in life or channel some of their pain into the arts in some capacity.

My journey in the arts has sustained me during some dark moments, if I didn’t have my purpose I’d probably be dead.

Horrible 22nd Birthday

Hi everyone, thanks for taking the time to read this.

I wanted to vent about my 22nd birthday, which was truly horrible thanks to my family.

A couple of days before my birthday, I reminded my mom and sisters that it was coming up because they clearly forgot. Their reaction was pretty indifferent, which hurt. I asked if they’d want to go to breakfast or celebrate at night, but they started bickering and said it wouldn’t work. I always go out of my way to celebrate their birthdays with gifts and midnight texts, so this felt especially disappointing.

My mom eventually agreed to take me to breakfast after her night shift, but my sisters didn’t join. On the day of, breakfast was awful. My mom spent the entire time complaining about work and family drama and barely acknowledged me. She even turned the conversation into a lecture about life regrets and death, which was upsetting. Then she brought up my late dad (who raised me until I was 19) and started speaking badly about him, knowing it bothers me.

After breakfast, I didn’t feel well (I struggle with bulimia), and she started calling me names and complaining even more. Instead of letting me drive her home, she called an Uber and left.

Later, my boyfriend came over and saved the day a little. He and his parents gave me thoughtful gifts, but nothing came from my mom or sisters, even though my mom had asked me what I wanted earlier. I had been hoping for some new work shoes I mentioned, but I got nothing.

When I came home, my oldest sister (27F) accused me of expecting too much and told me to “grow up.” She even laughed about me getting sick on my birthday, because she doesn’t teach her kids how to wash their hands- I’ve tried numerous times.

Then my mom sent a passive-aggressive text in our group chat, blaming me for feeling sick after breakfast and exaggerating how much it cost when I was 30 dollars responsible for the 100 dollar bill. She drank a few alcoholic beverages, I don’t drink.

What also kinda stings is that today, the day after my birthday, my sisters message in the group chat how excited they are for Christmas gifts and asking for money assistants for all of us to afford a larger present for my mom.

I’m tired of this family. I work hard, pay all my own bills, and always help them when they ask, but when I need something, it’s a different story, I am told to be grateful when I express a lot of gratitude… I feel like I need to distance myself from them to find happiness.

Thanks again for letting me vent!

NEW STORY AGAIN FROM MY SPOILED LITTLE BROTHER! But short tho.

I was just sitting inside of my dad's car, eating of what he brought for me and for my little brother. After a few minutes, while I was eating. He scared the shit out of me, that it made my food drop. And after, yelled at him, "You nearly make me drop my food!". Because I had a bad day after classes at college. And he simply says...

"Do you have water? Can I have water?"

WHAT THE. ACTUAL. FUCK? (Sorry for the language from my title and here too,)

I told him to say "Say sorry so I can give the water to ya". Instead, he seriously left with his classmates who saw me yelling at him from earlier. And after that, I knew and been overthinking that he'll backstab me, he also backstabs our dad back when I was at my old school, and he was 2nd year junior high school.

I'm kinda glad that I can tell my story here, for people who have a spoiled brat sibling too. So I hope someone give me some tips to scare the hell of my little brother.

#spoiledbrat #needsdiscipline

I am a 17 year old female, my mom completely stopped talking to me abt 3 years ago it has tooken a toll on me but I have been so busy I do not comprehend it yet, my dad doesn’t talk to me.I am Christian and believe to love everyone I tried reaching out to my mom for the last 3 years with no response she will sit there and not answer me if I visit her house, if I try and conversation with my dad he tells me he is busy or to leave him alone because he is resting (he speaks to me 16 year old sister like he loves her ex:everyday he tells her he loves her before school) I hear it from my room . I look just like mom who it beautiful and am pretty developed, I try my hardest in school, I bought myself a car this past year and that resulted in speaking to my dad less. What I am trying to get at is I know these factors will end up taking a huge toll on me as I just push them off because I have no time to sit around and loathe, all the feelings rush in when I ask my dad to participate in something that requires him to be there as he will be at one of his multiple girlfriends house. My dad takes his girlfriend’s son to school and picks him up and asks him how his day was. I am a pretty strong kid but I know he doesn’t like me at all and everytime I try to talk to him it confirms it, I have a little sister who I have to be a role model for. Is anyone in a similar situation?