I was reading things from r/DebateAnAtheist out of curiosity and stumbled upon this website. Incredible that someone spent the time to make these graphs and compiled countless scrutinised passages from the bible!

I figured this could help some people here deconstruct, so I thought I'd share! I also wonder what you think of it.

Happy (if I can say that) exploring!

I have known I need to deconstruct but I haven't been interested in talking to the big man.

Where did you start relearning things about the Bible, theology, etc?

Do you have any book recommendations?

Thoughts from your own journey?

My mother raised me in the church, but even at 16 I told her I didn't want to be a Christian just because she was one. I went my own way, did drugs, drank, slept around and at 19 I ended up figuring out the Jesus thing. I went to a Christian "internship" called the Honor Academy (reach out to me if you've heard of it) for two years, met my husband and was married for 9 years before I made the agonizing decision to divorce him. Long story about that.

Now, I'm in a really rough season and I try to vent to mom and she gives me some of the most unhinged Christian responses ever. She knows I'm not cool with God right now and yet sends me 10 paragraph long prayers I should recite that renounce my rebellion and demons and whatever. She recently went to a helping retreat where they were teaching her about how to heal others. Idk. I'm not sure how to respond to her because either don't feel like I can vent to her anyone. Any suggestions?

Recently, I had a conversation with one of my Christian friends about my recent agnosticism and the deconstruction of my beliefs. One thing that they said though which has gotten me thinking is that the way that I describe how I view God almost seems to fit more of an apophatic theology rather than agnosticism. Now that I have thought about it more, they may be right but I'm not sure where that leaves me. It's not so much that I don't think we can know God exists, but rather that if he does exist, he is more unknowable than knowable perhaps. However, I don't know if (or how) one could hold to this belief and be a Christian as he suggests. By the way my friend spoke, he seemed to think it was a legitimate position within Christianity. I guess I partly have trouble seeing it since modern Christianity seems so intent to know God and what he wants from us in detail, especially from Scripture. What started me on the journey of deconstruction in the first place was seeing the problems with Scripture and the Church and how erroneous they can both be. How would one see the church and the Bible through an apophatic lens, and would apophatic theology even be religious belief or just a philosophical position? I guess I am just struggling to understand apophatic theology and its relation to divine revelation. Have any of you encountered this theology and do you have any thoughts on its problems or logic?

Told my dear old Mother; the scripture dispenser, that I’ve heard enough and don’t want to hear it again.

Told her the Christian depiction of God makes God sounds like a complete jerk for this plan of sending most of humanity to roast for eternity. Told her “ praise the Lord.” Is not an appropriate response to people when they share an accomplishment.

I also told her that this constant need she has to bring up her religion and her aversion to abortion makes it very difficult to be around her and so I avoid her. It is not appropriate to be constantly going on about this stuff to everyone and every conversation she has.

Also mentioned that her great faith is maybe not so grand given the amount of worry she indulges in on a daily basis.

It wasn’t well received, but it’s now known.

She’s hurt and upset but at least she knows.

Moving forward when she yaps on about her religion I’m not sure what response would be appropriate?

She’s welcome to her beliefs just like anybody else; I just don’t want to hear it.

I was talking with a friend who recently converted and I was wondering: Do you think you guys are deconstructing because you are starting to apply logic to your religious beliefs?

Been a minute, but I wanted to check in. I’ve been vacillating between giving up on this and clawing my way back to some version of belief.

Long story short, I deconstructed because I found “the church” to be full of bullshit. Full of it. In the messages, in the theology, in the leadership. In rare events, you encounter people who actually believe what they’re selling, but many times, especially as I got close to the machine - closer to those who serve or are employed by churches - the more I was disgusted by the character of people, and frankly, the blatant hypocrisy and bullshit if it all. Couple that with the failures of a many prominent figures - many of whom were essential for me and my growth (looking at you Bickle and Dalton), and I’m left wondering wtf I’m doing wasting my life away on these ideas that don’t actually make sense.

But just as strongly, I was met with sadness, hardness, numbness, depression, confusion, anger as I walked away from faith. I recalled the days when I used to “talk to God” and I felt vibrant and alive. I felt peace. I felt happy. I felt KIND! Not like now. Gentleness felt easy to access. Not now. Patience felt easy to access. Not now.

And I’m starting to think “what a Pyrrhic victory if I cleverly deconstructed the folly of the church only to end up a shell of who I once was. Only to end up bitter and sad.”

So I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t see it really involving the “church”. But it may involve praying. And writing songs again. And meditating on things that are good. Idk.

I struggle with a lot of self hatred, and depression on top of anxiety. Predestination was my coping strategy for many years. Knowing God had a plan for me and wanted the best for me was something I found comfort in. Until I realised that meant my thoughts, feelings and suffering were all orchestrated by him too in that sense. Now I'm facing a major life change (finished my degree and looking for employment). I'm just a week out of school and my anxiety spirals have already been out of control due to having average grades. How do you cope with not knowing the outcome of your life?

Hi ho peoples . If you've seen my previous posts you'll know what this is referring to. But long story short I'm deconstructing from Christianity and at the same time I have a consueller through the church and I've been told that it will do more harm than good. And I agree and it has. My anxiety and everything has fucking spiked combined with everything that's happening on the outside and inside it just isn't good. The Consuelling has not been helping. Like you know it's bad when you feel like you have to censor stuff because your ashamed to tell certain things to your counselor. Anyway, now he's asked me "Are you anticipating a healing without Gods intervention ?" and "Do you believe that Jesus is the truth and he only truth?" And I'm asking him why is it important because it's like your insinuating something. And he's like "We'll talk when I get back" SIR JUST LIKE YOU WANT ANSWERS, I DO TO. IF I FEEL THREATENED I WILL ASK QUESTIONS. He now wants to find the root of all these things and y'know what? I'm FUCKING SCARED. Like if we're having a conversation you can't just leave it like that, that is not fair. DO YOU KNOW HOW NERVE WRACKING THAT IS. I'm so frustrated and anxious and just...I'm so done. Like so fucking done with all of this. This whole journey has felt like such a bust. LIKE THERE WASNT A POINT. It's a panic attack induced heartbreak after another. It's pain, confusion and self hate at every turn. I'm just at a loss. Rock bottom does indeed have a basement. Please. Any advice...any encouragement...anything. It will go a long way.

Edit: I'm not in physical threat danger. If I feel like uneasy about something I will ask questions. Fight or Flight response.

TW: suicidal ideation

I don’t know if I am doing deconstruction the right way, but during my process, I’m mainly trying to focus on the psychological and societal aspects of religion, faith, and sacrament, rather than the historical aspects. Probably because the terrible psychological effects that Catholicism had on me are one of the main reasons I left.

I'm not sure if "deconstruct" is even the right word, but I definitely want to understand why Catholic confession had such a terrible impact on me. Confession caused me to feel such intense guilt and shame, to the point of feeling suicidal. I believed I was committing thousands of mortal sins every single day, and I thought it might be better if I just stopped living, so I could stop sinning. And these “sins” weren’t even actions—mostly they were just thoughts.

I am no longer suicidal, and I’m going to therapy, but the fact that I was brought to such a dark place so easily still terrifies me. I’m trying to find something that would help me understand why this happened, but I mostly come across Catholic sources claiming that confession is a healing experience or psychological studies that describe confession as beneficial. I’ve found a few sources discussing the harms of confession, but there aren’t many. I truly don’t understand how so many people seem to talk about the benefits of confession when it was so damaging for me.

So, I would like to ask for your help. Do you know of any sources—articles, books, podcasts, videos, etc.—that could help me understand my negative experience or delve deeper into the harms of confession? It doesn’t have to focus strictly on Catholic confession; some other denominations have similar practices. As long as it follows a similar structure to Catholic confession, I’d be interested.

I'm so nervous for this election. Well nervous us beyond a understatement at this point. But I have found comfort in the song "Jesus friend of sinners " by casting crowns. Maybe america will see the light. I don't even want to know where they are politically it might just ruin the song for me. I hope everyone is keeping their mental health a priority during this difficult time.

I hope this part is allowed but if you haven't voted yet please do. Democracy is at risk. Vote 💙

I’m still a Christian but I’m deconstructing my beliefs and religion but today I went to church with my family this morning and didn’t get home around twelve and we had to leave for evening service at 4:30, we also have Wednesday Bible Study this week too and today at my first time back at church, I was ready the bible for critical thinking but not listening to the sermon, I still live with them and I just needed some advice to how I can cope during Wednesdays and Sundays. Thank you:)

I want to draw my more confident self myself with horns and flowers and longer hair a Tiefling or sucubus like self walking away from the gates of heven as a way to say I’m walking away from My toxic relationships of the past

But is it offensive?

Some context: I live in Queens, NY with my super conservative, Evangelical parents and I’m financially dependent on them until I complete my Masters. They don’t know that I disagree with them on basically everything because revealing that would be emotionally and physically detrimental to me. I voted for the first time and for Kamala Harris. My parents voted for Trump.

I went with my mom to our poll site. She needed help with her ballot, so I was showing her what to do and how to fill it out. After I finished helping her, I went to a separate booth; hoping she would either move on to scan her ballot on her own or wait for me. Instead, she told the ballot person that we were together and came to my booth to stand behind me. She was looking over my shoulder as I was filling it out, asking me “what are you putting?” I started rushing and hiding my paper, and she told me “be careful with what you’re doing.” I shoved my barely-filled-out ballot in my folder and walked her to the scanner before heading back to the booth, telling her I forgot to fill out the back. I almost expected her to follow me back, but she didn’t. I managed to fill it out properly and scanned it without her seeing who I voted for. I told my parents I voted for Trump.

I hated experiencing this, and I know I’m not alone. There’s so many people that show up to their poll-site with family members that are coercing them to vote for the religion and their doctrines. People that will face immense personal backlash if they don’t conform or if they’re found to have opinions that deviate from the ones they’re “supposed” to have. Voting should be a private, quiet affair. Dictated by no one else but you.

Any good materials on mass hallucinations?

Back when i was still believer, defending my faith, one argument i would encounter was about mass hallucinations.

I have since come to hypothesize that i have experienced, or witnessed, many things that could be explained by mass hallucination theory.

I overheard a family member (who knows about my deconstruction) in conversation with others discussing people who 'give up on God' as making a pathetic attempt to fit in to The World, and as being prideful.

I don't judge because ten years ago I would've nodded my head to those things, (and I don't have a problem with pushing back/challenging when I think it's necessary, or helpful).

But it just makes me sad and feel so unseen (and just a tad angry of course!). What a low and dismissive estimation to hold someone you love in, even if you weren't directly thinking of them when you said it.

It makes me sad that the framework of that type of Christianity means someone important to me has this shitty, diminishing perspective of me, and what has been an immense personal struggle. But when the problem * cannot * lie with God, then there is only person left to blame!

Rant over. (I hope this means I'm fitting in with you other pathetic, prideful heathens ❤️😂)

Kristi Burke is one of my all time favourites of people who dares to speak up against injustice, double standards, misconceptions and lies in faith communities.

I don't know her personally, but she comes through as an honest, compassionate and decent person. She is obviously very intelligent and she has the capacity to pinpoint and explain difficult questions, without sounding condescending or abusive.

If I had the chance, I'd say to Kirsti, thank you for your courage and strength to put yourself up as a potential target, to support and encourage others who are walking this same path, behind you.

This sequence takes a good long look at all the challenges relating to losing faith

My story's super complicated with a bunch of different facets. I've told a few portions of it in different subreddits if you want to find out. I'm 32, currently staying with family out of necessity and I'm sorta banking on this certification program to help me with relocating away from them. I was an international volunteer prior to this and I haven't seen my grandmother in person for a while until now. I didn't know that in under two years, how easy it is to brainwash someone.

My grandmother is addicted to apps like Tiktok and Ig reels and follows mostly doomsday/Christian creators. Her favorite one is this 'prophetess' that calls herself Celestial. This woman is a raving lunatic. She preys on the vulnerable that are easily scared by her doomsday prophecies and appearance (this woman literally dresses up like a character, it's so weird), and the deeper my grandmother gets into this web - going as far as to sending her money - just makes me sick.

I get more triggered when I see someone talk about God and church and really more Christian ideals. It sucks, because as much as I have/had reverence for Christ as a teacher, I just I feel so much dread and disappointment in my grandmother. She was never warm or that much loving towards me when I was growing up past the age of seven, unless she was obligated to, but she was also a bit shrewd and realistic about things.

Now, it's like whoever she was in the past has died and it's been replaced. When she labeled Halloween as 'evil' and the devil's holiday recently, I really began to lose my faith again.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DBKBnSGvN8b/?igsh=MWd1eGNtcG40eG05ZA==

So I guess I should become a nun, and not wish for human companionship. (I love how some of the comments are roasting the pastor though.) 😆

Sad thing is I have fallen for this before. I've let someone... actually multiple people.. try to win me back with their version of faith, their church, their "understanding of the bible." I am going through it again with a friendly acquaintance that keeps mentioning their church, pastor, activities. Thing is she seems to be straddling the fence and it takes all the strength I have to change the subject. I don't want to lose a friend again because they can't be friends with a nonbeliever but my eyes will roll out of my head if they try to have that conversation with me. You know the one. Any advice?

One of my best friends is still a very strong Christian and I was speaking to her today about my period pains. Her response to this was that’s why Eve shouldn’t have ate the apple as God has now cursed us to be beneath men, and to be in pain during childbirth.

I laughed at her statement because I was like you don’t really take the story of Adam and Eve literally. And she responded very seriously that she truly believes that God cursed women, the same way he cursed black people(Curse of Ham). To make things worse we are both black women, so it really took me off guard that she held those beliefs. I then tried to explain to her how validating toxic ideologies like this is a very dangerous road to walk on, and gives horrible people the ammunition to do horrible things, but she completely disagreed. She said it just helps us understand our sufferings more as it was a result of disobeying God, but it doesn’t make their actions right. She then proceeded to accuse me of trying to make God fit my own narrative rather than believing in his Word.

I just don’t understand how people can worship a God( that they claim to be so loving) that would curse generations of innocent people to sexism, racism and pain forever. How could you believe in such a monster!

Today I tried messaging someone who I knew was a bit more open minded about beliefs outside of more traditional Christian beliefs. I haven’t really told any Christians yet about the fact that I’m now basically agnostic. They still seemed really disappointed in my change in beliefs but at least they weren’t completely hostile and overly sensitive. I was mainly messaging to get their thoughts on a couple issues in theology I’ve been wrestling with. They have always been more a blunt person which was okay with me but even with them I found myself a little hurt by the fact that they said, “Yeah honestly I don't think anyone can really read their way into belief one way or the other. And the ability to believe is tied to the ability to obey. Only the believing obey and only the obedient believe as bonhoeffer says in discipleship.” I feel like they have a good point from their perspective but I am at a loss of words to respond to that. I know for a fact that intellectual reasoning was definitely a huge part of why i deconstructed so I think it’s a bit simplistic to say that reading doesn’t affect belief lol. But they also imply with that sentence that I don’t believe because I’m resisting obedience I think. I think this is so frustrating though because how am I supposed to obey an entity I can’t find a good reason to believe in? Like, what comes first? Belief or obedience? How would you respond to this? I think I might just ignore this part of their message honestly but it’s hard to lol.

There are two possible outcomes, and neither is any good.

1.       They will hit back with all the talking points they’ve learnt and I cannot convince them of the fallacies in their arguments. The conversation will soon become unfriendly.

2.       I prove to them that something is wrong with faith and scripture, but they react emotionally and get angry. If continued, conversation will surely become unfriendly.

This is quite logical really. They have no other choice. They must defend their position at any cost. If they can’t find good answers they’re left with no other choice than to fall into an emotional outburst. Obviously this is a very uncomfortable situation for them, often resulting in resentment and even loss of friendship.

I have learned to stay away from topics like these with believing friends, but sometimes we have no choice. Sometimes they bring it up, thinking they will “set you strait”

In these cases I find it best to just speak calmly about “my experience” If I use words like: I feel, I know, I have seen, I think, I’ve been reading about etc. Then they might not feel as threatened. This can sometimes bring about a fruitful exchange of thoughts and feelings, bringing us closer together.  

What is your experience?

From the youtube channel: Genetically Modified Skeptic   

I’m still deconstructing Christianity more than 5 years after deconverting from evangelicalism. Religious indoctrination takes serious time to deprogram, especially if you’ve been raised in the faith. Having been an Independent Fundamental Baptist until age 21, I’m still working through my views on secular morality and anti-theism, asceticism and pleasure-seeking, and the in-group-protecting narratives of evangelical Christians. I that hope sharing my ongoing deconstruction story helps others share theirs too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mxgx5QAYMrU

Hello friends. Sort of a personal one here: If you had a loved one that recently converted to Christianity, what would you recommend them to (a) DO and (b) NOT TO DO in their first years/steps in their journey as Christians?

"We were born into sin and we are all broken people." Is a phrase I'm sure we've heard all too well. And I feel like some people don't talk about how...fucked up that statement is and what it does to peoples self-esteem and mindset. It sure as hell fucked me up and to pick up all those pieces is a lot of work. So as someone going through this, even though it's just starting I want to tell you: You are not broken. You are not unworthy. You are so beautiful and wonderful. You do not need an entity to think that you are worthy of love and mercy. You are not sinful, you are not evil. I tell myself this everyday and yes, sometimes I don't believe it. But it's true. It's going to take time and patience and grace on yourself. And though I'm not at the end of my journey, I know the end is going to be all worth it. And I know yours is too. ♥️

I grew up fundamentalist, went to Christian schools from K3-12th grade. During all of that time, I never seriously doubted my faith ever, obviously there were times I wasn’t “as strong”, but that didn’t matter bc I’d always be at church the next Sunday with my family. Now I’m in college majoring in Biochemistry, learning how to think critically & surrounded by people from every religion. I started seriously questioning my faith about 3 weeks ago when I finally stopped ignoring all the doubts that kept circling around in my head. I started digging into more scholarly interpretations of scripture rather than my evangelical pastors and quickly realized a lot of what I’d believed about the world was a lie. (Ex: YEC, literal interpretation of the OT, all of the “evidence” and eyewitnesses of Jesus, etc). Recently, I’ve been trying to lose the fundamentalist “black and white” type thinking, and come to terms with the fact that maybe the Bible isn’t inerrant & uses myth/folklore type writing to convey a message about God, and that doesn’t necessarily mean that God/Jesus isn’t real. I’ve been trying to go to church + my campus ministry (Cru) and pray still. However, I can’t shake feeling like this is all just bs. After realizing I can’t fully trust the Bible, it seems like the only two routes I can take are 1. Finding my own “truth” and interpretation of God through idek ? Nature? Prayer? Drugs ? 😭 or 2. Becoming agnostic/atheist and recognizing that maybe there isn’t something bigger, or maybe there is, but there’s no way to no for certain. I wish I could go back to my blind faith, trusting that there was someone on the other side of my prayers listening. I wish I could still have that hope of an eternal life & being able to see my loved ones again. I wish there was a higher power with some “divine plan” for my life. But all of these wishes just make me realize why I feel like people invented religion in the first place, maybe reality is just too painful to deal with.

Anyway aside from this I also can’t shake the feeling like maybe all of these doubts are bc God ‘spit me out’ for being too lukewarm, or maybe I’m just being prideful and thinking I can find my own way, and also the thought of being wrong & ending up in hell forever is a bit frightening 😀. Anyway I know the process of deconstructing/reconstructing takes years and a lot of introspection but I do not have that kind of timeline bc all of this has been consuming my mind & I haven’t been able to focus like pls I have an ochem midterm tmrw and I’m so cooked 😭 so if anyone has any thoughts/comments on all of this, pls reach out!

I've been doing research for a presentation on purity culture and eating disorders, and I came across this podcast - Pure White - from Dr. Sarah Moslener. It provided some thoughtful information that gave me a lot to reflect on in my own engagement with purity culture. I wanted to share in case anyone else would find it useful! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pure-white/id1718974286

I grew up very religious (and southern Baptist). I met my partner the first year at our Christian college. He’s agnostic and for the first time in my life prompted me to question and evaluate my faith. So for the past 3 or so years, I’ve been agnostic as well. I’ve decided recently that I’d like to look into deconstructed Christianity, because I like the idea of believing in SOMETHING. I’m queer and have gravitated towards universalism. My therapist has suggested that before I listen to deconstruction speakers etc, I should read the Bible and decide what I want to believe. Im looking for a strictly unbiased (or as unbiased as we can find) translation of the Bible where I can decide for myself what it says.

Anytime I try to work on my mindset and limiting beliefs, I come smack up against the idea that I don’t deserve happiness, respect, success, etc. I don’t deserve it because I am a sinner and the only one who deserves anything is Jesus.

The trouble is that I don’t believe this anymore, but I also can’t get rid of the belief, if that makes any sense.

Have you successfully conquered this awful implanted idea? How did you get to the place where you can say you deserve goodness in life without internally cringing at the word ‘deserve’?