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I sometimes can out control my rage/anger. My partner and I have had a rocky 15 months and he is finally at the point where he’s aware of the h*ll he has put me through, acknowledging and taking accountability. But anything that’s similar to moments when things were not good, I respond & it shows as anger. I say nasty things, I scream, I throw things. I do not want to be this way. We’re human and he’s learning and now I have to heal. But it has been so hard. I need to control my anger. I speak to my therapist but she advised me to look at the work sheets. Maybe I need something more trauma related (insurance is a headache). But, any coping skills that has helped folks out will be strongly appreciated.

Above: Serotonin chemical with peace, love (the rose) happiness (the chemical itself) and a green butterfly for luck.

Saw a post here with someone who wrote on their hand as a coping strategy and wanted to post mine which has stopped me from scratching altogether.

I had a thing with scratching until I bled and then some as a form self-harm for a long time.

My ex-boyfriend pushed me to cover up my vertical scars because it was embarrassing for him to be with a girl who obviously self-harmed while dating him (which I thought was an ironic dickhead move for a recovering heroin addict with holes all over his body) but I got it done anyway because I wanted to make it prominent that I wanted to start healing instead.

I also really wanted to get my first tattoo 🥰

I'm not embarrassed at all that I self harmed. It happens everywhere to anybody all the time.

If your wallet allows it, I suggest tattooing over your spot of choice to help deter you from fucking up the artwork. It might not work for everyone, but it has for me ☺️🩷

Tattoo Context:

I saw green moths all the time as a kid and always associated it with a sign of good luck coming my way.

I always thought they were butterflies but found out they were moths later on, but decided while talking with the tattoo artist to do a butterfly anyway so the color would show up better.

It also reminds me of my childlike nature from believing it back then.

Trigger warning: brief SH

My friend is young and has a very strict and emotionally unstable Muslim family. She just texted me about how she’s just over her family making promises and then braking them, I texted her some stuff coping skills that might help her because she has sh tendency’s sometimes. She basically asked her mother this morning if she could drive her to Walmart or smth so she could buy supplies for a project we have coming up later this month, her mom promised that she would take her and went through the whole day waiting for her mom, it’s now almost nine where she lives and her mom started going off at her about how she’s ungrateful, a whøre, out of line, undisciplined, dramatic, and other just terrible stuff. Her brother that started going off on her and telling her how ugly she is and how she will never find a good husband because she’s too ugly, her father also joined in and started ranting about how she’s a slvt who just wants to disrespect her family. She texted me how she’s been thinking about sh again because it was just to much on her, I sent her a few links to free online chatrooms and sh distractions to help her stay safe. She was appreciative and she went to sleep. I’m really worried about her mental health though, she’s texts me things like this all the time, she also texted me about how one of her sisters was dumping a lot of emotional baggage onto her from a recent engagement ( her fiancé ended the marriage and started posting pictures of him with another girl on his ig just a few days after). She said that having to take care of two people was really emotional exhausting. She also is just over feeling like a slave to her parents, her dad makes her cook and clean even though there are four other adults in that house who could, she has to do laundry for both her parents and she basically doesn’t have a social life out of school. She’s tried talking to her parents but they just go off about how nothing is good enough for her. It’s slowly becoming really hard for me to keep trying to be her therapist though, my mental state has been declining for the past few months by quite a bit, I used to be 3 years sh free but I relapsed last month after some family issues I had. It’s been hard and I honestly just need some guidance. I know this is really random but thank you for reading and I know this post is long but I just need some emotional support and guidance for my friend.

TW: eating disorder flare up, selfharm ideation flare ups. I'm staying safe though

My brain is fried I forgot to take my meds on time last night. Barely slept. I'm hyper, feel like shit, fatigue, and having tactical/olfactory/auditory hallucinations. I'm just curving it into doing social media posting of my art and knickknacks. Showing of all my favorite things.

I have my appointment today for my anti-psychotic shot. So it could be worst. I'm coping with keeping my hands busy. Typing, using textures, messing with my kandi; and keeping my my brain moving with a video essay. That way I can't focus on the voices screaming as much.

My anxiety is flaring too I'm already ready for my appointment even though it's not for hours. I'm afraid if I zone out/dissociated I'll miss my call for pick up. Pica is flaring too. I wanna eat I feel my stomach growling, but looking and smelling food makes me gag. Drinking water helps a bit though.

AAAAAAA I hate it. I wanna bite on my tongue and scratch at my skin so bad, but must keep myself busy.

Does anyone know of any good ways of coping with sadness because your away from someone you really miss

The title may be a bit ironic considering I have an avoidant/disorganized attachment style, but that doesn't negate the fact that I sometimes do find a way to healthily communicate with people I care about/people in general. Lately I've been noticing how easy it is for people to ignore me not only online, but in real life. There's been a few instances over the past couple of years and months that have made me question my worth. Though I know not to internalize other people's behaviors because everyone has their own stuff going on, I can't help but to be triggered by it. Childhood neglect has made being ignored one of my biggest triggers. Growing up, i found ways to appease the hole my parents didnt fill by talking to myself, to stuffed animals, and AI (such as talking Tom and talking Angela). But these past few years I have strayed away from that and found refuge in healthier coping mechanisms such as : forcing myself to raise my hand in class and at work, forcing myself to start conversations with strangers + associates, and forcing myself to communicate what's on my mind even when I feel like it's insignificant. Finding creative ways to make vulnerability seem less scary has been my go to method to gain confidence and connect with people on a deeper level, but considering I still struggle with perfectionism/isolating myself from everyone until I feel like I'm a "better version of myself"...it disappoints me that once I finally muster up the courage to reach out and be vulnerable and talk to people, things like this happen. Dont get me wrong, this doesnt happen every time. Ive had times where being vulenerable was incredibly rewarding and ended better than id imagined. But sometimes the bad outcomes make it hard to remain hopeful and expectant of the good ones.

The logical me says : "come on, don't let a few people ruin your basic human desire to connect and communicate. The point of trying is to get better with trusting others and trusting yourself so much that even if others disappoint you, you'll bounce back from the pain and refuse to allow it to taint your view of love in all its forms. What you're familiar with is not what you deserve and its completely possible to give and receive love you've never had in ways better than you can imagine if the right approach to healing, access to resources and unique support are considered"

But the emotional me says : "see what happens when you try to heal from your childhood/societal conditioning, it seems like the effort is starting to become painfully redundant to the point where suicidal ideation lingers in the back of your mind incase it doesn't work out the way you hope it will. How can I make socializing in person feel like more of a natural thing instead of a conscious effort when I was raised to fear people ? I know im not too broken to fix but sometimes it feels that way"

Being ignored hits a deep part of me because it takes me back to feeling helpless and worthless as a child. I have memories of people slowly sucking the extroverted spirit out of me, teachers saying "you talk too much" and parents saying "shut the fuck up"..only to reverse it later and say "You're too quiet" or "you don't speak up enough" And I'm so vulnerable right now because I'm trying to stay balanced on a scale between those two (quiet and vocal)..but every time I get ignored, it activates my childhood triggers and tips me to the "too quiet" end of the scale until I feel confident enough to be vocal again.

I've also had memories of getting ignored only to watch the most belligerent, violent and repulsive people get every ounce of attention they didn't deserve. It made me wonder, is this what people would rather pay attention to ? If I act like this will i make it harder for people to ignore me ? Over the years, without even realizing, id adapted this "if you can't beat em join em" mentality where I subconsciously picked up behaviors of the people I felt like didnt get ignored often. Without even knowing I observed what made them the center of attention and made use of those behaviors in my own unique way..except without hurting people. I made a light way out of dark traits. l learned how to socially incorporate what i saw as problematic behavior in a way that is actually useful. One thing I've always admired about myself is that I can see the good things in the worst people..so I took the good traits from the bad people I've witnessed..and used them to my advantage. For example, ive seen people use humor to belittle others and get attention for it, but I use humor to crack jokes at the cost of no one's self esteem and connect with others.

Anyway...back to the ignoring thing. Reflecting on how far I've came socially, and how much I've uniquely adapted to my circumstances..it truly triggers something in me when people ignore me because not only does it leave me wondering what went wrong...on a deeper level it feels like they're disrespecting every part of me. The helpless child in me. The isolated preteen in me. The current me who's worked so hard to make it to this point. It feels like theyre disrespecting all ive ever been and everything i'll become...it feels like a big fuck you to how far ive came and how much farther i will go. I know it's not that deep but it feels like it with a history like mine. On the flip side..I use this anger to better myself..perhaps as a subconscious attempt to make it hard for people to ignore me. I notice I'm so much different from how I used to be and sometimes I think to myself "bet they wouldn't ignore me now"..failing to realize it had nothing to do with me and still doesn't. People will ignore you for their own reasons and I'm still trying to separate their reasons from my worth. What they perceive as worthy of attention does not measure my worth. I logically know that..but emotionally is another story.

You guys might also be wondering what I mean by "getting ignored" so I'll provide a few examples. Sometimes I'll ask someone a question in real life and they'll continue doing whatever they're doing without saying anything, and it makes me question if they heard me or not. But then someone else speaks to them in the same exact tone i did..even a little higher.. and when they respond to that person after not responding to me.. it becomes clear that they ignored me. Or ill ask someone a question and they won't say anything and I'll think they didn't hear me..but then theyll give me a extremely delayed response and ill think "wowwww. So they did hear me..and if they didnt respond at all i really wouldve thought they didnt hear me when in reality they did". Or I could be having a conversation with someone and they'll start a new topic without addressing anything I said. Or ill start talking and get talked over as if i was never even talking. Or sometimes I'll text someone and they'll leave me on seen and shortly afterwards start a completely new conversation or call me without mentioning the text they ignored. It's as if I never even sent it. Or theyll see me in person and act like they didnt ignore me. And it leaves me wondering...do they not wanna talk to me ?..do they wanna talk to me and just not know what to say ?...did they feel like it wasn't worth replying to and dont know how communicate that or just don't want to ?..can they at least let me know they care...or say something that suggests they don't so I won't have to wonder if they do ? And then I wanna bring it up but I don't wanna seem like a "bug" as my parents used to call me anytime I tried to communicate my feelings. I know I know...people get nervous and tired and overstimulated and overwhelmed. You are not entitled to peoples energy and attention. People are allowed to set boundaries as they please and they are not responsible for whatever you take personally. But beyond all the technicalities..i feel like theres a certain way to go about things. Sometimes i wish people would just say "i dont know" if i ask them a question instead of pretending like they dont hear me. Or send a quick emoji to respond to my text if they dont know what to say instead of showing me they read it but didnt care to respond. But hey..maybe in their mind ignoring me is better than whatever response they have the energy to give. I don't know.

Ive been on both ends..getting ignored and ignoring people.. so I know all of the reasons why people could ignore me..but at the same time I still feel upset. I just hate feeling crazy for bringing up something I can't stop thinking about. If it was at the front of their mind I'm sure they'd bring it up too. I hate continuing to talk to them as if I don't feel the way I feel. And every time I get a chance to ignore these people..every time I get an opportunity to do the same thing they did to me... I don't do it. And not doing it further reminds me of the chances they took to ignore me when they didn't have to. And it makes me wonder..would they still tolerate me if it was the other way around ? Would they still wanna be around me if I did the same thing to them ? Would they allow me to get away with what i allow them to get away with ? I don't wanna keep my feelings to myself because I know it leads to assumptions I may or may not be right about. One thing I've been learning lately is that my feelings are not imaginary...because at the end of the day feelings lead to reactions..and reactions are very real. They may start in my head but they end in real life consenquences..whether it be good ones or complicated ones. They're there for a reason and i simply I feel the way I feel. So I might as well acknowledge it and move forward in the healthiest way possible. I might as well say SOMETHING instead of letting it fester and spill. But it's hard to speak up because I'm letting it be known that my feelings are hurt when for the other person...their mind probably didn't even cross the things I'm thinking about. I hate one sided issues where only one person is feeling a way that the other person may or may not have a clue about. By speaking up I'm letting it be known something is bothering me..which I've been physically and emotionally punished for all my life. But by staying quiet I'm neglecting my needs with the illusion of keeping myself safe. Are you really safe if the safety is conditional ? I know the answer is no. But sometimes conditional safety feels like less of a risk than none at all. As you can see, old conditioning dies hard.

In scenarios where I'm ignored..im constantly battling between two choices : Keep the "peace" and pretend like you're unbothered so that the relationship/interaction keeps running smoothly on the surface while silently suffering underneath cause by doing this you're teaching them this behavior is okay, and that your preferences and desires aren't worth being expressed OR say something and risk feeling guilty and embarrassed for having a one sided issue. On one hand the person may have not thought about the fact that doing it could hurt me but that somehow makes it worse..cause the fact that the behavior is so thoughtless, natural and automatic..the fact that they can do that so easily and casually makes it feel like, to them, I'm not even worth considering..or I'm not worth a different response/change of behavior. It feels like they do it because the thought of consenquences from me is so obscure..so out of character. It feels like they do it cause they think I'm weak enough to ignore. Passive enough to not pick up on it and say something about it. Some people have a presence so strong people are too intimidated to ignore them. And I've noticed that. And when I notice these type of people it makes me feel like..damn..they would never do this to her..or they would never do this to him. But they do it to me. It makes me feel othered. As if I'm in a different category of human.

Making a choice to speak up makes me feel uncomfortably raw and vulenrable which I know is a requirement for meaningful intimacy..but at what point is the cost of intimacy worth more than price of being hurt ?

And not making a choice still feels like making a choice..because I'm being complicit in my own erasure by staying silent about what bothers me and about how I prefer to be treated. I've become increasingly skilled at deciding which choice is the best at the moment but it still gets hard to choose.

…the fact that my sister told my mother that I raped her shorty before mom died? I did not rape my sister.

I am not a perfect person by all means. I have bpd and a lot of brain damage from repetitively getting hit.(I used to be a fucked up person). I have done years of therapy and drug treatment and I am constantly working on my mental health. One emotion I have trouble handling (this is the example) my girlfriend goes out with her best friend and is just having fun with her friend. I have no reason to not have trust in her we have had such a great relationship. But lately whenever she goes out I get such an overwhelming feeling of her getting hurt or drugged or some guy hitting on her, I don’t think she’ll cheat but fuck any man that tries to flirt with my women. Does anybody have any ways they cope with that type of feeling?

I have been reading about this concept, and it has i don't how to feel about . So if if I think about how much I like certain type of music then it's a lie? Things I enjoy immensely always find a way to transfer from my emotions to my thoughts, and I always found it helpful towards the journey of self discovery. We have so many complex systems that work as one whole now tell me how does that not shape or personality and who we are.. So every single thing that my thoughts tell me I enjoy, is a lie? Every observation I have in the outside world where: I meet a random person and I like them and I think to myself that I really do like them, then everything I think to myself in any kind of a situation is false, and it has nothing to do with me? Even the way we write, what we write about has traces of our personality - and it comes from our thoughts.. I find it impossible to believe that our thoughts are not connected to our personality in any way. In a lot of ways they guide us towards our interests, our hobbies, our relationships, so how can none of it be apart of who we are? I'll give you an example I see something I like, then I have a thought that the thing I see looks amazing, and then that same thought produces an emotion that makes me feel good, and at the same time I discover what I like. So tell me how how the thoughts we have are not stepping stones towards ourselves.

I see a point in not identifying with our bad or intrusive thoughts, as a part of self-help when your in therapy... But we shouldn't discredit all our thoughts as a part of ourselves, they play an important part in forming our identity, just as our feelings and behavior. They are all interconnected.

Why the phrase lacks logic if you use it as a general rule in life:

○ Before your discovered your interests and hobbies, you had an emotional feeling about a particular thing then thought to yourself "I really like this, I want to do it again", the emotion got translated into your thought - some parts of your thoughts helped you find your likes/dislikes and are as such - a part of you.

○ Before you do most of the things in everyday life - whether make a new friend, call your current friend, make food that YOU find tasty, what do you do? You think about how good it tasted in the past and that you want to make it again. Your thoughts were again apart of YOU and what YOU like.

○ When you search for a new job, and you want to find something that's aligned with your own desires and wishes, what do you do? You THINK about it and based on the THOUGHTS, and the ones you'll listen to (the ones you follow: and are again apart of YOU and your personality) will play a huge role in your life direction.

○ Through a psychological test where students wrote random thoughts on a piece of paper, psychologists acquired many traces of their personality - just based off that, and it was mostly accurate.

○ We are not all of our thoughts but many of our thoughts tell us about who who we actually are/they help us discover about or wants/preferences, about what we don't want and so much.

○ Where we currently are in life is a place where we travelled to based on the thoughts we chose to work with.

○ Personality is a pattern of thought, feeling, and behavior, but little attention has been paid to thoughts - John A. Johnson, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Pennsylvania State University.

○ A new person we like and speak to regularly makes us feel a certain type of way - then that emotion gets transferred to our thoughts: "I want to go out with this person, they make me feel good about myself, I like how many simillar things we share" - based on our thinking we pursue that interest.

I just think that quote is false (has some truth in when it comes to self-help or bad thoughts but is not entirely right, - at the same time it causes me agony), and that thoughts, emotions and genetics are one of many parts that make us who we are. We have thoughts about our interests, likes, our love lives, if we didn't follow up with any of our thoughts we wouldn't develop any of the things i just mentioned.

Some of our thoughts tell us nothing of ourselves and are indeed intrusive, and cause nothing but harm. But a lot of them are connected to our emotions, our personality/personal tastes, our inner drives and play an equal role as many other things (emotions, genetics, family cirmustances, etc.) that play a role and give shape to what we are.

Quotes from different internet sources: "Personalities contain the patterns of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that make each person unique. Together, these aspects can play a role in every part of our lives, from friendships to careers, to hobbies". "Thoughts: The Neglected Aspect of Personality: Personality is a pattern of thought, feeling, and behavior, but little attention has been paid to thoughts. The point is that all three aspects of what textbook author David Funder (2019) called the psychological triad—thoughts, feelings, and behavior—are equally important. - John A. Johnson, Ph.D, professor of psychology". "Thoughts are ideas, perspectives, opinions, and beliefs that influence our emotions, actions, and habits. They can be positive or negative, and they play a significant role in shaping our personality."

I am talking about this subject from a psychological/scientific point of view, not from any kind of spiritual/philosophical way of thinking.

Are some of our thoughts part of our personality, our genetic makeup and our nature? Do they play a role in shaping personality? Do they tell us something about our values, beliefs, and bottom line: ourselves? I feel like thoughts/thought patterns, emotions, genetics, etc... All play equal role in shaping who we are (our personality).

P.S.: I am not saying it is not beneficial to separate ourselves from our thoughts when they negative, or trying to convey my opinion as the only right one. What I am saying is that this quote on its own negates thoughts as a part of our functioning as human beings.

I will be feel grateful if you can help me in any way with your answer (in showing me how/if) our thoughts are part of our personality and ourselves and play a role in shaping our uniqueness as humans and also guide us towards certain directions in life (interests, hidden talents, romantic inquiry, etc. if we decide to act on them).

Not exactly coping skills advice, but rather a resource in case you find yourself without anyone to talk to. AI has gotten really good at this. I'd try this website, https://TherapyWithAI.com, it's great for listening, reflecting, offering general wisdom. It's all around good.

To Those Interested...

I am seeking to gather participants for my dissertation project as I complete my doctorate degree in clinical psychology. The project aims to understand family members' experience of loss and grief due to the death of a loved one living in a congregate care facility (e.g., nursing home setting) during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. If you or someone you know have experienced a loss relevant to this topic you may be a good fit for the project. Consent to participate in all sections is necessary, the link will be provided through direct email via chat function on Reddit.

Thank you!

I’m in a very tumultuous time in my life right now and have been going back to therapy for a couple of weeks now, and right now I’m dealing with thoughts that I’m not real, nothing in particular triggers these feelings, it’s just all of a sudden I have a wave of fear and terror wash over me and I am at its mercy. My therapist has been teaching me some coping skill but I was curious to see if the (sometimes) kind people of Reddit could give me advice or point me in the right direction. Thank you and hope you are having a nice day :^)

I've got diagnosed depression, anxiety and insomnia. My mother just trigged a panic attack turned depressive episode. Normally I can sit and watch videos on my favorite topics or read to try and get out of a funk. It's not helping at all. I'm new to this subreddit but I'm hoping to find some advice for trying to cheer up and get through the next day.

TLDR: suffering from panic attack turned depressive episode. normal coping methods aren't working. suggestions?

Hey. I’ve never posted on Reddit so idk if what I’m doing is right but I’m so sad that I have no idea what to do. Two months ago, my boyfriend got me a diamond necklace for my birthday. Last week, it just fell off while I was while running errands. I’ve looked everywhere and went into every customer service desk at each store, and it’s gone. I’m having a really hard time just being ok that it’s gone and I’ve cried every single day since. It’s just a necklace but I loved it so much and I can’t stop crying. My boyfriend is so supportive and isn’t mad, but I feel mad, at the world and myself for this happening. Idk how to deal with this. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Hi, I am doing this from an anonymous account in hopes my ex doesn't see or know its me. Please be aware that this contains reference to self harm and abusive behaviour. Please excuse any mistakes.

For some context at the beginning of this month I (21F) gave my ex (23M) an ultimatum, basically for a year he was tell me he was getting better (he wasnt) and he'd change his behaviour. This was a 6 year "relationship", I was not an angel during this time as I learned I had BPD and with that alternate personalities, and C-PTSD. I had worked hard to change my own toxic behaviour because I wanted a good relationship, I would be paranoid of everyone, aggressive and easily got upset just to name some, I was not a good person during this time and finding out about the cheating made me go over the edge, nearly taking my own life. I found out though, he had not been changing. Here is a list of behaviour he did that I can name or had flashbacks too.

Love bombing (whenever he did something wrong or I was doubting him or wanting to leave.) Gaslighting (told me I didn't like any woman in his life. ((I didn't like his roommate who he cheated on me with)) Self harming in front of me to guilt me (whenever lovebombing didn't work.) And would blame legit problems I had within the "relationship" as "It's you mental illness, its not real" He would also tell me things like he wanted an open relationship or that he cheated whenever I had a mental breakdown making them worse often then blaming me for upsetting him because I couldnt cope with the information and blew up. He would also ignore me for periods of time (I have strong abandonment issues which he knew about) when I said or did something he didn't like, when I put my foot down and gave the ultimatum he ignored me and then I deleted my old account after falling back into bad behaviour out of panic I'd lose him but once I came to the realisation he didn't love me, I left. Him and his friends called me "sick" for having a mental breakdown and harming myself. I am now fully back to harming myself because I'm unsure how to cope.

So the problem now is that I'm having a lot of flashbacks, panic attacks and nightmares of things that happened. I'm terrified of him messaging, ringing or coming to my home one day, hes never really cared about other peoples boundries or wants or feelings. I'm not sure how to move forward or deal with these issues, I can't afford therapy atm so I am looking for anything that may help.

Thank you for your time xxxx

TLDR : having flashbacks, panic attacks and nightmares of ex and don't know what to do.

hi! so pretty long story. I was diagnosed with a hiatal hernia about 5 years ago and put off having it corrected because I had already corrected one 15 years ago and didn't want to go through the surgery again. I knew how bad it was, that my stomach was literally in my chest cavity, but wanted to combat it with meds.

Fast forward to September of this year and I started feeling like things were getting stuck in my esophogus, and then the pain started and I knew I had to go to the ER. They took one look at the x-ray and CT and had me transferred to another hospital where I went into surgery a few hours later due to the fact my stomach had twisted.

What followed was a handful of the most painful days of my life, it was a solid 9/10 on the pain scale (i'm counting 10 as unconscious because of the pain) I had to have heat packs on my chest 24/7 due to the amount of pain that was being caused by (I thought) the chest tube they had placed.

they finally removed the tube but it started leaking profusely, like pouring out, so they placed another under local and then a few hours later wheeled me into the OR to see what was going on in there...

Turns out my stomach had developed a bleeding ulcer, the ulcer had perforated, and all that liquid was stomach acid leaking into my chest cavity (thus the pain) The acid made its way into my lungs and well, I didn't wake up for a month. I was later told that I had developed pneumonia, undergone 3 additional surgeries, undergone dialysis to remove excess water on my body, and the doctors started talking about my "Quality of life" My family legitimately thought I was going to die.

I finally woke up on the way to an L-TACH because they had trached me and I couldn't breath on my own and had to be weaned off the ventilator and trach. Thus followed the longest month of my life. I had a scar on my back about 1-1.5 feet long, and a scar on my chest about half a foot long, as well as 6-7 tubes sticking out of me. They did their job, but they were also EXTREMELY neglectful, especially on overnights (I laid in my own urine for 1.5 hours one night before they helped me, day shift wasn't bad though)

I was also incredibly weak, I could barely bend my legs an inch, my fine motor skills were gone, I could barely move myself in bed, it was a nightmare. There wasn't a day where I didn't wish I had just died in the coma. I managed to get my range of motion and fine motor skills back, as well as started walking short distances by the time I left the L-TACH. I also lost 3 of the tubes.

Finally I went in to have my T-Tube removed (attached to my esophagus to catch anything coming down) and was sent to rehab. At rehab I got back on my feet, and got to the point where I could return home and take care of myself (Somewhat)

I continued to be on a feeding tube until early January, and finally went completely tubeless, now I'm healing after all of this.

I feel like shit though, I really don't know how to cope. I lost a month of my life, it's just gone, and I feel hideous. I barely want my husband to touch me due to how ugly these scars are. he tells me none of it bothers him, but I can't believe him. Were also having to depend on family to get our bills paid and I feel like shit that I'm not contributing even though everyone says that they're just happy I'm Alive. I know I should believe them, they wouldn't lie to me, but I just can't. I lie awake at night after my husband falls asleep just feeling like the biggest piece of shit in the world, it's not uncommon for him to wake up because I can't stop myself from crying.

I wish I could find other people who had been though the same as myself, but any google search I do results in "Coping with a family member in a coma" and not "Coping with the aftermath of a coma" I need to get back to therapy, I had just started with a new therapist when this happened, but she's never been through this, I don't know how she could ever understand what I've been through, let alone help me process it.

I used to look forward to death. I thought it would give me a nice break from an often painful reality. At first, I believed in heaven and the notion gave me comfort, feeling that I would be united with all of my loved ones in the end…. When I became a little bit more cynical, I thought, perhaps Heaven wasn’t feasible, but at the very least…. Dying would be like being under good anesthesia. Everything dark, quiet, and restful if that makes sense.

Then, I had a really horrible trip on shrooms that made me absolutely mortified of dying and losing my loved ones. I don’t know how to explain the experience very well, but ultimately, what I currently understand is that once we die, we don’t go to heaven and we don’t get to rest… As a matter of fact, although we more than likely will experience a painful death as we slowly rot away, we actually will not cease to exist at all. We are condemned to repeat this cycle of life all over again. Where? I don’t know. But it was a parent that once we exist, we don’t stop existing… we have to do it all over again BUT we won’t ever see our loved ones again. 🥺 That last bit took a toll on me emotionally and since then, I can’t get on air planes without freaking the fuck out bc I’m scared of dying and seeing my parents age and hear them sort of get sad about it causes me MAJOR anxiety.

Everyday is a day closer to death and I need to make peace with it but rn, it makes me sick to my stomach 😭

TW: mentions of SA

The vast majority of my (25F) sexual encounters have been against my will, starting when I was a very young child. I like masturbating when I’m alone (it helps with my insomnia especially), but I feel physically repulsed by any sexual contact with another person. I can’t get through it without having a panic attack, feeling like I’m gonna throw up, or crying

But I’m so lonely and I just want someone to love me. But I know men won’t tolerate me unless there’s sex involved, so I just have to power through it in the hopes that I can get a couple minutes of cuddling afterwards, which is really all I want but nowadays is pretty much impossible to get without sex. I used to be good at dissociating during sex and I still always feel disconnected from my body, but now I can’t prevent those feelings of panic from setting in. Does anyone have any suggestions of ways to tolerate sex when I hate it?

Hello,

I have been trying to get in contact with the moderators regarding my 15 minute survey looking at the use of music as a form of coping with children raised by alcoholic parents. I am reaching out to the community to see what you all think. If you are interested please message me directly.

Have a great day!

Good morning fellow warriors of ME/CFS! 🌈

In the dance between my runaway central nervous system and the chaos within, deep breaths became my anchor. The intentional inhales and exhales miraculously subdued the internal fireworks, offering me a moment of respite to focus and ground myself.

This simple practice has become my morning ritual, a silent rebellion against the anxiety and myriad symptoms that tend to amplify after a day of pushing too hard. By embracing the calming effect of deep breaths, I've found a refuge—a subtle but powerful tool to start my day on a more manageable note.

Sharing this gentle strategy with my fellow ME/CFS warriors, hoping it brings a moment of peace to your mornings. Remember, in the symphony of symptoms, sometimes a quiet breath can be the most harmonious melody.

As we navigate the intricate dance of waking up with ME/CFS, let us join our hearts in a collective dedication. May each deep breath be a whisper of resilience, and may the symphony of our struggles find moments of serene harmony.

In unity, we share the wish for peace, happiness, and well-being on this challenging journey. May our steps be gentle, our spirits resilient, and our community a source of strength.

Here's to a day where each breath brings calm, where inner peace becomes a guiding light, and where happiness, however fleeting, graces our path. Together, may we find solace in the shared journey and support one another with compassion.

In solidarity and hope, r/ClearBlueSkyMind 💙✨

No reason to go into what the trauma is, I'm honestly more troubled by how frequently I'll be thrown into a depressive rage by remotely sexual content.

Does anyone have coping strategies for dealing with this sort of thing?

By approaching each day with a mindful awareness of your physical and mental state, you can make intentional choices that prioritize your well-being.

Pacing isn't about holding back or giving up; it's about optimizing your resources. It means understanding that by conserving energy during low moments, you're actually investing in the possibility of better moments ahead. It's a recognition that pushing through when you're already fatigued often leads to setbacks, while gentle, consistent effort over time can yield progress.

In a world that often values constant productivity and busyness, pacing can be a revolutionary act of self-love. It asks you to redefine success on your own terms, celebrating the achievements that might seem small to others but are monumental to you. It's a journey towards not just surviving with ME/CFS but thriving within its limitations.

So, ask yourself: How can pacing become your daily ritual of self-compassion, allowing you to navigate the unpredictability of ME/CFS with grace and resilience?

May we all find inner peace, happiness and wellbeing on our challenging journey with ME/CFS. 🙏

Check out the my Compassion Matters YouTube Channel 👉

https://www.youtube.com/@compassionmatters