Assalamualaikum. I (32F) am looking for some sisters to make friends with. I have recently reverted and am a mother so looking for anyone I can relate to. I live in New Zealand. 💗

I feel a sense of anxiety when interacting with non-mahram women, or even just being near them. Not like debilitating anxiety or anything like that, just an awareness that Allah will judge me allowing myself to have lustful thoughts.

Before I found Islam, I thought nothing of admiring women's physical beauty and it was never difficult considering how much eomen are emcouraged to beautify themselves by society. They don't even have to show much skin, just their hair and makeup is enough to arouse. Now alhamdulillah when I start to feel that arousal, it's punctured by a sharp twinge of anxiety that pulls my gaze down because I know I'll be punished for having lustful thoughts.

I generally try to be on my best behaviour around women because I they're under Allah's protection and He's always watching me and monitoring my deepest thoughts. I always try to give women as much space as possible. When I'm shopping, I'll usually hang back if there's a woman in the same aisle I'm in, and I'll usually try the self-checkout if there's no male cashier available.

Salam alaikum WA rahmatu Allah WA barakatuh

I was wondering if there are any converts or convert group gatherings in Montreal, Canada.

I converted about three weeks ago. I picked up a thobe from Amazon as a convenient way to cover awrah when I wake up for fajr rather than getting fully dressed.

It's laundry day and I'm out of clothes, basically. But it's also juumah. Is it too tryhard to wear a thobe when being so new?

I know this is overthinking it, but I'm also white and I want to be taken seriously and not be seen as a dillettante or playacting. I also don't want to be accused of cultural appropriation.

Narrated Aishah: The Prophet ﷺ said: “O people of Muhammad! By Allah, if you knew what I know, you would weep much and laugh little.”

Sahih al-Bukhari (6631), Sahih Muslim (901).

[Commentary]

“By Allah, if you knew what I know” means if you knew about the reality of the Hereafter, the huge and painful punishment of Allah, the accountability on the Day of Judgment, the anger of Allah, and the like. “You would weep much and laugh little” means your weeping would increase due to the fear of this knowledge of punishment and wrath of Allah, which would make you laugh little and weep a lot. This hadith serves as a reminder to focus on the Hereafter and to fear Allah and His painful punishments, and to laugh less, which is a sign of not being indulged in the worldly life.

Al-Nawawi said: “The meaning here is: if you knew the magnitude of Allah’s wrath on wrongdoers, the severity of His punishment, the terrors of the Day of Judgment and what comes after, as I know, and if you saw the Hellfire as I have seen it—whether in this instance or elsewhere—you would weep frequently, and your laughter would be little due to your thoughts about what you had come to know.” [Sharh al-Nawawi ‘ala Muslim 6/201]

See also: Al-Qadi Iyad's Ikmal al-Mu'allim bi Fawa'id Muslim (3/334-335).

And Allah Knows Best.

[Sharh Majmu' al-Ahadith al-Sahihah li Muhammad ibn Javed 108]

Assalamu aleykum, brothers and sisters! Just wanted to reach out and see if anyone else is in the same boat as me. I’m a 23-year-old girl with a Russian-Uzbek background, still living with my parents (who, thankfully, are quite supportive now – Alhamdulillah).

The thing is, the Muslim guys in my area aren’t really religious, and their upbringing is just so different from mine that it feels like a major culture shock. It’s not about Islam itself; it’s just that we’re worlds apart in how we were raised, and that makes me a bit hesitant when it comes to marriage.

Honestly, I just wish I could find someone who’s a convert like me, someone who gets where I’m coming from. But the place I live doesn’t have many converts around. Am I being unrealistic for hoping for this, or is anyone else feeling the same way? Would love to hear your thoughts!

Assalamualaikum, I am new revert . When I told my parents about it they filed a complaint against my friends because they think they forced me or brainwashed me but in this I have reverted by my own Noone forced me. I gave my statement to police and now I am waiting for my statement day in Court but between this I am living in my home coz I have no job I found job for myself but I can't leave before this date if I leave so I have to come again so I thought I will leave after this .Due to my parents my mental health is destroying . I need help from muslim community please if anyone can help me please I request I can't live in this environment it's so toxic . They are saying bad about me ,my character ,judging me , dragging my past ,everyday I just cry in front of Allah and I feel so peaceful after that but today after namaz I was just sitting alone at couch and they both came and Started all of the stuff again and saying they will remove their name from my documents I said remove I dont care that's ur own call then again they forcing me they forced me like 10000 of times to convert into their religion. PLEASE I NEED HELP ... I can't tolerate this situation anymore now

This year, we decided not to take our kids trick or treating for the sake of Allah. We converted this year. I feel bad that they won’t experience something I did as a kid, and that other kids get to experience. They don’t even miss it though. They are still very young. But I feel bad. I hope it’s not harder as they get older.

Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah, who said: “We were with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ gathering kabath (fruits of the arak tree), and the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, ‘Choose the black ones, for they are the best.’ They asked, ‘Were you herding sheep?’ He replied, ‘There was no Prophet except that he herded them.’”

Sahih al-Bukhari (3406), Sahih Muslim (2050).

[Commentary]

“We were with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ gathering kabath (fruits of the arak tree)” meaning the Prophet ﷺ was with some of his companions in a valley called Marr al-Zahran as mentioned in other narrations. They were by an arak tree gathering fruits which are similar to figs and are eaten by animals and people. This took place towards the beginning of the Islamic period, so the Muslims found it difficult to find food to eat.

So the Prophet ﷺ told his companions, “Choose the black ones, for they are the best,” meaning the black fruits are better in quality and taste. “They asked, ‘Were you herding sheep?’” Meaning when the Prophet ﷺ told them they should choose the black ones, the companions asked him, “were you herding sheep” because only someone who knew about herding would know such details and know which one tastes better. So the Prophet ﷺ replied to them saying, “There was no Prophet except that he herded them.” Meaning every Prophet that was sent herded sheep, including our Prophet ﷺ! This shows that prophethood was given to humble people rather than those who have a lot of wealth or worldly positions. Herding sheep is a job that requires patience, and so this helps the Prophets with patience and the like. Herding sheep is difficult, and working with sheep is a humble job. Herding sheep is a simple job, which helps prophets to maintain a simple lifestyle. There is a lot of wisdom in this; the more one thinks, the more they will find out!

And Allah Knows Best.

[Sharh Majmu' al-Ahadith al-Sahihah li Muhammad ibn Javed 107]

My husband and I have recently reverted to Islam, only a few months ago. We have a 2.5 year old and a 10 month old currently and large catholic families with a lot of young children on both sides.

We already decided we are going to go to the family celebrations and spend time with everyone. I’m struggling a lot with no Christmas at home. Christmas has been my favorite time of the year my entire life, I’ve built up quite a collection of decorations, and although we never celebrated Christmas for Jesus, my husband and I have really leaned in to Christmas the past few years since we’ve had children.

How did everyone do the first year of being a revert? Did anyone still do Christmas at home the first year? I know a lot of people still celebrate with family. And yes, I know Christmas is haram. Losing Christmas is such a huge change for me and I’m struggling with it. All my life I looked forward to Christmas morning with my children, and now that my toddler is turning 3, she knows what Christmas is. I don’t know how to navigate this. I’m just conflicted and sad, can anyone give me some encouragement or words of advice or share their experiences?

Allah holds infinitely more authority of the husband than the husband does over the wife. Allah commanded that men are to be the providers and maintainers of women. So if I get married inshallah, it will be my duty as a man to get up and go to work everyday. My wife wouldn't be expected to work. She could sleep in, watch TV or hang out with her friends whose husbands are also at work, and even if I think that's unfair I can't change it or do anything about it because it's an order straight from Allah.

Not only are men expected to sacrifice their time and energy to provide for their wives and families, but if need be we are also expected to sacrifice or lives and safety to protect them as well. On a sinking ship or in war, men are expected to take on the burden of facing certain death. Allah made women less expendable by giving them the burden of bearing children, they are the vessels through which new souls are brought into the world, so their protection takes priority. Even if men don't want to be the ones to take on this burden, there's no defying Allah's design. You can't sacrifice a large number of women the way you can sacrifice a large number of men without reducing the size of the next generation.

Allah has not given women "the short stick", He has blessed them in many ways that men could consider enviable.

i got a job (2 to be exact, yay !) as a party manager (and other similar roles at the job) on the weekends, and an in-store shopper during the week. im conflicted on what to wear. my dad wont buy me any abayas and things like that, so i have to stick with my closet which isnt much. i could probably convince my dad to buy me a button up shirt. would that be appropiate? if not, what should I aim for? I just have casual black shirts, some with designs like cats, and a ghostface one, grey shirts but they have holes, and a white shirt. i also have black pants and such.

Before I reverted I never considered myself sexist, but embracing and learning about Islam made me realize just how wrong it is to even subtly objectify women. Learning the importance of lowering my gaze madr me hyper aware of the habit of just allowing myself to be casually aroused by random women's beauty.

Assalamu aleykum brothers and sisters. I will start with the first point. And that is that I am afraid of ending up as a disbeliever because there is an ayah in the Quran that talks about hypocrites who believe, then disbelieve and so on until they die as a disbeliever. That is because my faith varies too much at certain times.

I can be super devout for a month and then suffer for a week about whether Islam is really the right choice. And so far I always come back to Islam but I fear for my future.

The second point is about my doubts about the ahadith. And don't get me wrong, I am not a Quraniyoon. I am more than clear that the Quran goes hand in hand with the ahadith but recently very valid doubts have arisen in my head that have been bothering me lately. If you are interested I can put them in the comments but I am afraid that my doubts may lead other Brothers with a weak faith like mine astray.

Assalamualaikum, inshallah everyone is doing well. (21 African American) I've been a revert for almost a year now alhamdulilah (dec 10th 2023). I learned about Islam from a co-worker who was a born Indian Muslim sister. Through our conversations i started to research it on my own. And in Islam I found everything I was after when it came to religion and way of life. Since embracing Islam I've experienced genuine emotions all over again. It was a spiritual, emotional, and intellectual revolution in my mind, body, and soul unlike anything I've ever encountered. Before I came into it, I was completely depressed, hopeless, and lost. My sister and father passed away in recent years and I went away to college right after. I was dead inside but still dragging myself along until I met the sister I mentioned earlier.

In that, she confessed that she had feelings for me as I had told her a month before. We became close but I told her that I only wished to continue or advance the relationship if I was sure of Islam and after I checked back in my Christian / Jewish background. (My mother is Christian, Father was Hebrew Israelite when he was alive). I needed to be absolutely sure Islam was for me and sure enough there was no doubt about that.

Long story short, our relations went on long after my conversion, but she continously confused me on whether she wanted to get married or not. I was afraid of getting played and that she was not serious about me, I tried to address these things with her but she would get overly upset each time I brought up prospect of marriage, as I was determined to do things the right way. I feared my race was an issue among my status of a revert and her parents not accepting me because of those things, but she would swear up and down this was not the case yet would not ever mention me to certain friends and family while we were together. Many issues occurred because of this and it became very unhealthy. One night she asked me to be her fiance. I asked if she was serious, and she said yes. Not long after she said she was leaving me after she said her friend has cut me off and refused to elaborate. I was deeply in love at this point so I was pretty devastated after.

A summer passed and I recovered well through my deen and by the grace of Allah and was ready to move on. When we saw each other we talked and she said somethings occurred but she wanted to be on good terms. She alluded to wanting something in the future and we started seeing each other for a few weeks. I put up boundaries so that we would not be affectionate or that close, because she expressed she would call if she needed something as I still offered that. But we were supposed to be done. She didnt contact me for weeks until one day she saw me walking with a hijabi classmate from a class. That night she called saying she needed me and she came to my room. She told me her family was going through a divorce of her brother's marriage, which was the reason she cited for being scared // not telling her family about me. But then she asked me if I found the sister she saw me with attractive. I barely knew how to answer! I just said "uhh shes a woman?" And from there she came unto me again. I mistakenly took this to mean that she wanted a relationship with me after all, so I went to her room a few days later to discuss. Then she brought up that my friends didnt like her and continued to rant about it. I didnt get it because when we talked earlier we had agreed that we were misunderstanding each other, and it wasn't personal. I then got a call from my other friend who befriended the sister a while ago. He told me that she said I act like I do so much for her, and everything I did was just basic human rights. This prompted me to write a note asking her to never contact me again, and things have been really good without her.

But I still get sad because we were together for almost my whole time as a Muslim, and I thought that, after couple years of casual dating and playing the dating game, I was finally with somebody who was serious about marriage and relations in tandem with religion. I left that feeling used and worthless. But overall not doing that bad honestly. This deen revitalized me entirely and I am always grateful to Allah for that.

I find myself wanting to find a more practicing sister to be intentional about partnership. I thought this sister was adequately practicing and devoted but time had told me her values were not what I once thought they were.

Any advice on finding a good potential spouse, that's serious about the deen? I wish not to get used again. And I fear my status as African American and Revert will hinder this process as well.

Narrated Amir ibn Mas’ud: The Prophet ﷺ said: “The easy reward is fasting in winter.”

“Easy” meaning something that is gained with little effort and hardship, as Mulla Ali al-Qari pointed out. The meaning of this hadith is that it is easy for one to fast in the winter due to the short days, making it possible for a person to earn reward with ease as they don’t feel as hungry as if they fasted in the summer due to the longer days and hot weather. So this hadith encourages the Muslim to fast during the winter, as this is a big and easy reward, and one won’t feel as thirsty or hungry compared to fasting in the summer!

Al-Turabushti said: “...indicating that fasting in this season achieves a reward that is unmatched by other acts.” [Al-Maysir fi Sharh Misbah al-Sunnah 2/478]

So one can fast whatever is possible for them; they can fast Mondays and Thursdays as it is Sunnah, or one of the two or both, whatever they find easy. They can also fast the three white days of each month or fast every other day like Prophet Dawud, but one should try doing what they find easy, and Allah Knows Best.

[Sharh Muhammad ibn Javed ‘ala Sunan al-Tirmidhi 797]

Assalamualaikum,

Sadly my sisters partner took his own life (at least that is the conclusion we have decided but we we’ll never truly know if it was an accident).

My sister has asked me to give a speech at the funeral. They are not religious and therefore I plan to use what I’ve learnt on suffering based on Islamic understanding but I won’t be insisting that this is what Islam teaches us.

It’s neither the place or the time but regardless, everyone will know that my speech will come from a Muslim perspective and this inshallah will hopefully lead to family members asking about Islam after.

So far since this tragic event I’ve had 3 family members ask me questions and 2 have started reading the Quran, Alhamdullilah.

The issue is I don’t know what I can’t say in regards to his death. Aside from him not being Muslim, we have strong grounds to believe it was suicide.

I would like to say ‘may he rest in peace’ but if I google this, the response is a clear no.

I’ve asked my Muslim brothers and they’ve been quite clear that there is nothing we can do.

I want to be able to pay my respect to him in my speech and also to ensure my speech comforts my sister but I’m stuck on the matter based on the circumstances of his death.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

I ask that a level of sincerity is thought of in your response as it’s a difficult time for our family.

Jazakallah khair

I HAVE BEEN HAVING SOME PRETTY SERIOUS DOUBTS REGARDING ISLAM AND THEY CAN BE CLASSIFIED AS KUFR. Can someone please help me??

I just finished the English translation of the Qu’ran and am looking to learn more. What should I study next? And where can I find good English translations?

I’m learning Arabic but it’s slow going.

Salam everyone! I’ve been interested in Islam for about 6 months now, but haven’t taken my shahada. I’m 18 still living with my parents who are both atheists. I’ve been learning how to pray and was gifted a prayer mat and Quran from a Muslim boy I know. My parents found them yesterday and it was brought up to me by my dad. He was not mad but just asking about it. He told me it was concerning and would like to have a further conversation about it as I didn’t really explain much. He’s concerned it has to do with the boy I know and basically thinks I’m doing it for him. Which I am not I met him a while after it started. I’m thinking I might just have to be honest with them even though I haven’t even taken my shahada yet, I’m not quite sure what to do. It’s just really disappointing because I wanted to wait a long time to tell them, it’s a super personal thing and I know they will not take it well. If anyone has been in a similar situation pls let me know, I’m kinda stuck and dreading the conversation.

Hello i am confused about islam and cant seem to come out of circle as i overthink too much . Please can people with knowledge or any scholar help me away from shirk so please message me on chat .

السلام عليكم

Hello everyone,

If you need some help practicing Arabic, reciting Quran, or learning more about middle eastern culture, please feel free to dm me.

I'm a 33 yrs old native Arabic speaker from Egypt and currently live in K.S.A.

Assalamualaikum, I want to know this thing that can we read shahada alone?

Assalamu alaikum. I reverted to Islam in August this year and I was gaining so much support from the Islamic community. However, I was misled by the sheikh/business partner that was guiding me. First scenario he lied to me that I can be Christian and Muslim at the same time which you guys told me it's not true. He always wanted me to bump my head and find answers by myself which ends me in getting humiliated. So I resorted to Reddit because I felt safe, luckily you guys encouraged me to do more research and even gave me hadiths which made me fall in love with the religion and made me believe it's the truth so I willingly took on the shahadah. He gave me the name Shireen because he made me feel like I did damage as a Christian so I took the offer to change my name in a heartbeat but he never wanted me to tell my family (he believes cutting them off is best if you want success). Second scenario he forced me to wear burka telling me I shouldn't be seen by people (not teaching me about modesty and most women who wear burkas in Zimbabwe are married). I would wear it every day but I started hearing rumours that we got married. Which is funny because he never wanted me to have any relations with people with "fixed mindsets", which are all my friends. Third, he called me a sahaba, which made you guys angry and I ended up getting death threats that led me to take a break from Reddit. Fourth, he made me disobey my Christian family and run away from home (i didn't want to fight with my family, I just needed a break, I was being overworked being a caterer being forced to learn habits of Elon Musk and other high performers), where during that process I was deprived of food and sleep and all I wanted to do was bath and tell my grandfather that I needed a break but the sheikh made me fight with him instead. Later on, my phone got stolen, I ended up by my aunt's house who I fought with, I was weak and losing my voice and nobody listened to me. They took me to the hospital where I had a mental breakdown and they injected me and I woke up in a Christian rehab facility where I suffocated spiritually. They refused to let me have the quran and they kept injecting me every time I made a complaint and they even provoked me when I had my monthly. My father got me out of there mashaalah but weeks I felt betrayed by my family. Lastly, he created a fake invitation from a very important Mulana to invite me to a reformation program because he believed that I had a veil over my face. That's where I drew the line. As a business partner he sold me dreams and I gained too much power that was snatched right away from me because I almost broke ties with my family. My name was tainted as a psychotic person, I'm not psychotic, I have rights that keep getting violated. But don't worry, I haven't lost faith in Islam but for now I don't wear the hijab as much as I used to, I plan on getting an abaya and wearing it properly dressed. It took me research to know that the clothes I was wearing were not hijab friendly i feel like the lunatic that people claim I am. I even changed the mosque, I do not want to be near that man ever again

Alhamdulillah I’ve been trying to do my obligations and everything. I want to tell my parents but I’m sure they might not take it the right way. Alhamdulillah I’ve been gathering more courage but every time I feel like I’m ready I again get scared. I want to tell them for so many reasons. First cause once they know then I don’t have to hide my reversion from everyone and I can happily start wearing the hijab! Then I don’t feel that comfortable in them not knowing too! Them knowing would make all the difference in sha Allah. Can you guys who have been through similar situations share your experiences and advices? Barikallahumma feek!

Hey, if any of you new converts are looking for a service that will help you learn the Quran online, you should probably check out this website:

https://www.teach-quran.org/demo-class

They let you set up a free demo call with one of their teachers so you can tell if the service is for you. (And don't go by the name, it isn't just for teaching the Quran, it is primarily aimed at learning the Quran.)