I had a conflict this past week with what ended up being an adjunct professor, who was very rude to me, and I had no idea he was faculty, but the way that he spoke to me, made me bite back verbally. I did not use profanity, but I may have flew off the handle a little bit because I didn’t like that. He spoke to me as if I didn’t belong at the school.

I took it up with the head of music and I wonder if it has to do with that .

Either way it really bothers me that she sent me an email today on Saturday to see her on Monday . I feel like all of my plans are ruined and I can’t even focus because I’m so worried about what happened that makes it necessary for her to have a meeting.

There’s nothing more disheartening than when you spend hours everyday studying for an exam, taking more time on it than the rest of your classmates and still scoring below the class average…

I’ve never been amazing at math but I’ve been really motivated to study hard and get good grades on my exams, we just had our first one and I studied for hours and hours. Countless practice problems and even enlisted the help of my roommate who is a Biochem Major (much better at math than I am) to tutor me on some concepts I struggled with. Got to the exam and I still wasn’t finished by the time literally EVERYONE else had finished and left. I was alone in the classroom with the professor for a good 15 minutes before I was finished and could turn my paper in… and I still scored below the class average.

I haven’t gotten my paper back yet so I don’t know what I missed but I will definitely be reviewing more when I do. It’s just disheartening to feel like everyone else in the classroom had such an easy time, completed the exam quickly and got good scores, while I still struggled despite all my efforts.

I know I shouldn’t compare myself to others, and I have definitely noticeably improved from the past but it’s hard not to compare.

TLDR: studied hard asf and still got a bad score on our first midterm exam.

Its my last semester but im kinda flipping out rn. These classes are a lot harder than my courseload last semester and i keep thinking about how im going to fail all of them and be locked out of graduating even though my gpa is currently a 3.93. Ive done some assignments already but of course none of them have been returned yet so i have no idea how im doing yet and that is terrifying already being nearly 1/3 of the way through now. I really am giving it my best shot between the huge ammount of reading i have and the assignments im given but im worried ill completely miss the mark of at least one class and have to dely my graduation.

Im hopeless and scared rn. How do i chill out? I want to be at peace and not worry myself to a heart attack.

Is it just me, or does it feel like the time you're in college completely changes everything there was is middle school? I know, it's pretty fucking obvious it's different, but I feel as if nothing's the same. And yes, I do understand that people have less time to talk and hang out etc. due to college, but It just feels different, for me at least. For some reason things like making friends, hanging out, finding your people, just feel impossible and way more difficult then before. I understand that tou have to bring something to the table but damn. Also, I don't know if it's just me, but I felt loneliness when I attended college, maybe due to the reasons I've mentioned prior.

Let me know If y'all had similar experiences.

My time at university was only really positive for one semester then it all snowballed from there. I started attending this place in fall 2021 and am now a "senior". My first negative experience I had there was a week in where I had to take a math placement test that was required by the uni. Unfortunately, covid really screwed up my high school education so I scored very low on this placement test, resulting in the advisor calling me stupid (yes she actually called me this) and told me not to do a BS and do a BA instead. I was also pretty indecisive my first two years and jumped major to major, while this isn't entirely my fault the advisors I met with would just put me in random majors based off my interests and if I didn't like it they would just switch me to a different major. I got pretty fed up with this sophomore year where I went to the advisors higher up and asked if there was an aptitude exam for majors. Biology and Biochemistry ended up being what I scored the best in, however, when I told the advisor this he told me that pursuing these majors were not possible because "it would take too long" and told me to take something else. I ended up choosing anthropology because a faculty member in there told me that I could pursue a biology career with an Anthropology BA.

After a year of being in the anthropology program I had the opportunity to do research under this faculty member, where she mistreated me, never mentored me and would make a grad student who knew nothing about the research do it instead, told students rumors about me, and told faculty members that I was going to flunk out of school (despite having all A's and B's). Eventually this faculty member got in trouble because when it was time to present my research it was very clear that no research was done and she had just used me to get menial tasks done around her lab. Around this time my graduation date was pushed back because my advisor messed up my schedule, making my graduation Fall 26 instead of Spring 25.

At this point I decided to try and get some research credit in a biology lab so I would have a better chance in the biology field after college since at this point I had figured out that an Anthropology BA wasn't going to really get me the career I wanted. Unfortunately, this professor was also a dickhead and refused to accommodate me when it came to my learning disability, telling me multiple times that "it's not my problem" or to "get over it". He would get really aggravated with me anytime I asked a question but would happily help the other students. My biggest issue with that guy was I told a classmate in the lab about my negative experiences with the school, where he then later called me into his office and told me that he was going to report me for "talking down on other departments". I am going to report this guy at the end of the semester due to the blatant discrimination regarding my learning disability, but he really has made me dejected with school. I had asked him at one point for some advice for getting into biology as a career, where he then told me to drop out and go to community college.

This all culminated with me going to the dean of students last semester and telling him these experiences where they then went into panic mode and gave me a full ride to finish out my anthropology degree. I know this is a good thing but honestly there's nothing I wanna do with the anthropology, it's interesting but I have no interest in the career aspects of it. How I was treated in the biology lab has completely turned me off from pursing it any further, at least at this school if that's how biology professors here act. I've seen the university give multiple students an expected graduation date only for them to pull the rug out from under them because the advisor got it wrong. Now every time I go to class I am completely unmotivated, I've been here for four years and have done nothing but stagnate. I am not receiving the education I want nor deserve here but they have given me a full ride so it would be counterintuitive to go anywhere else. I don't know what to do, when I talk to people about it they just get annoyed with me so I am not coming here for advice. I just thought it would help me if I wrote it all down and maybe heard other people's experiences.

TL;DR:

My time in college has been nothin but frustrating. A low math placement test score led to an advisor calling me “stupid” and pushing me toward a BA instead of a BS. Advisors randomly switched my majors, and when I tried to focus on biology, I was discouraged and told it would take too long. I ended up in Anthropology but faced mistreatment by a professor who used me for lab tasks and spread false rumors about me. After a bad experience in a biology lab where I was discriminated against for my learning disability, I felt completely dejected. The university offered me a full ride to finish my Anthropology degree, but I have no interest in the field or career prospects. I’m unmotivated, stuck in a program I don’t want, and unsure what to do next

So yesterday i got the news that my grandpa died and his funereal would be on the exam day so i emailed the professor and she responded an hour later saying something like “I am so sorry for your loss. You can retake the exam on March 5th for free.” and today while she was checking if all of us were here my best friend reminded her that i was at a funeral and she was apparently like “I didn’t know. I wasn’t notified. I am hearing this for the first time.” And apparently she is a little deaf or she pretended she didn’t hear that i was at a funereal and she said she will fail me.🤦🏻‍♀️

I will retake the exam but i am so pissed. Do i need to send them email 100 times for them to understand? She apparently said she failed me. Fuck this shit. I am so mad. I want to cuss her out but it’s immature so i will keep my mouth shut.

I love life, I hope these four years don’t go by too quickly. Anyways I have to go to bed. I can’t wait to get up and study tomorrow 🌝

I’m in math for liberal arts students. It’s probability and statistics, and it’s all through Pearson.

The textbook explains things in such a convoluted way I have to watch YouTube videos for every single page. There are multiple typos within the textbook as well.

My professor does fuck all, she does office hours but when I talked to her she tried drawing on her computer with her mouse and it made things very hard to follow. She wasn’t friendly at all, and never understood what I was having trouble with. Even after explaining things multiple times. Aside from office hours, SHE IS NOT PRESENT. All homework assignments are from Pearson and she does not do video lectures. I feel as though Pearson is my professor. I don’t even remember her fucking name.

I fucking threw a fit because Pearson had me do a problem that contained 15 problems within it, I got the last one wrong, even though I triple checked my work and I KNEW it was the right answer, when I hit “help me with this” it just erased all other 14 answers I put in that were correct. I LOST MY FUCKING MIND.

I’m currently fuming in bed. I gave up, I am receiving no help, guidance or fucking EDUCATION from this god forsaken class. Why did I pay for this?

Nearly failed a class last quarter but I guess I didn't learn my lesson. 3 weeks in and I'm already failing my new class.

First homework, I realized I barely understood anything half assed it and turned it in. Second homework I realized I understood absolutely ntohing and I have no idea how to do it. Couldn't find help online either. Went to offie hours still didn't understnad shit. I ended up writing gibberish. 3rd homework I'm just as lost, and now it's the midterm next week and I understand nothing.

it's clear that I'm stupid in thsi class and I can't comprehend a single thing. I'm now writing a request to drop the class.

I’ve already reached out to my counselor so there’s not much else to do I’m just frustrated.

I’ve had to quit in person college because my chronic illnesses progressed and now I’m doing online classes only. It was going great until last week when I started experiencing severe migraines. I have been in the hospital twice in the past week and have been on heavy pain medication. I’ve thrown up nearly everything I’ve eaten and I was only today for the first time in a week able to eat a meal, two pieces of toast and two eggs. I’ve lost 10 pounds and am incredibly tired, my migraines are threatening to come back I can feel the pressure starting up again. I just feel like crap.

I still have to do work, I can’t focus I can barely read my textbook let alone do the homework. I was already sick enough before this with chronic illness that I had to drop out for a semester and I was so excited to get back into it. My primary doctor decided to stop treating me and now I have to find a new doctor while getting into neurology which could be months wait. I’ve gone through a spinal tap, I’ll have an MRI next week and numerous IVs, blood tests, urine samples. I’m a human pin cushion.

I just want to crawl in bed and sleep forever. I don’t want to learn Python right now. I’m only taking one single class and I can barely comprehend anything now that I’m so weak and tired. Up to this point I was doing amazing in the class. I just hate this I hate my body for sabotaging me and making my life hell. I hate my spinal tap surgeon for f’ing up my procedure, not giving me adequate pain relief leaving me shaking crying and almost passing out on the table for A FULL HOUR LONGER THAN HE WAS SUPPOSED TO, I hate the hospital for kicking me out when I needed more fluids because I was throwing everything up, I hate I hate I hate.

But below that is just sadness. Sadness that I will never get the college experience, I will never be able to go to parties, stay out late and come home drunk. I will never have a spat with my roommate, I will never be embarrassed in front of a class for getting an answer wrong. I will never get to experience the good and bad of my life because I will be forever trapped in a body held together by band aids, advil, and Gatorade.

F being sick I want my life back.

If you have advice I will happily take it but I don’t know that there’s much I can do.

I consider myself a pretty good academic student. I am sitting at a 3.7 or 3.8 GPA but the only thing that screwed my GPA over was taking an AP biology course in the 8th grade with a teacher that was literally fired the second our class left. I think I got a 71 in that course which pretty much ruined my high school GPA. I have accumulated roughly 26-30 Dual Enrollment hours. I cannot remember the exact number, but they did not let me take any more dual enrollment courses because I had maxed out my schools offerings so I graduated earlier this year in early January. My family has not ever been super well off, but my mom birthed me when she was 18, and both parents are present, and we are a wonderful family. But over the years my family has made their way from upper-lower class to the middle class. I think my parents income is around 110k before taxes, with no investments or properties beside our home (which they still make payments on). My dad just quit his job about three months ago due to a severely hostile work environment, so currently we only have one income source with my father having to use his savings to help support our household. He plans on getting another job but it is very hard to find one that would support our family. 

FAFSA ruled my SAI as a 16,600. Which I find to be insane, because there is no way that my parents can help me out THAT much with my college. I do not think they have saved up for a college fund for me. FAFSA truly does screw over the middle class. 

I did not do amazing on my SAT. I do not know why. I have always been great at both math and reading comprehension, but for some reason the SAT has been difficult both times I have taken it. My first attempt was a 1060, then I got an 1120. Don’t ridicule me I know this isn’t amazing. This is not good enough to receive Zell Miller which broke my heart. I have always been at the top of my class when it comes to grades, behavior, and attendance. 

I live in Middle Georgia. I originally wanted to go to UGA but I am fairly certain they would not have accepted my SAT score, so I did not even try to apply. My next idea was Mercer (which I am not very fond of due to its location, but I digress.) However, with my SAI being as high as it is, I do not believe I would receive much financial help in order to attend there. So, currently I am considering Kennesaw State.

Recently I have decided that I want to become a CRNA. I am aware that Kennesaw would not be the best school for this, but I see little other options. Due to UGA’s transfer requirements not needing the SAT if you transfer there after a year, I guess that would be my best bet. 

Is it worth going to a larger school for something like that? I have heard the large majority say that I should go to a community college, but I know a few people that were in my situation and they took the loans and went to big colleges like Alabama, Georgia, and Georgia Tech, and they said they would not change a thing if they could do everything over again. They stress that the colleges look better on paper, and that a degree from UGA looks miles better than one from a community college.

I have no experience with loans, and I have little clue on how quickly I would have to pay a college loan back. Some people in the FAFSA subreddit said that your SAI can play a part in when you have to pay your loans back, but I do not know. I understand interest on these loans is around 8% which is crazy but I guess they would be my only option. 

Does anyone have any advice for me? I would greatly appreciate it as my school has set me up for failure lol and no one is able to answer any questions that I have.

I don't understand the concept some math teachers have teaching their class one variant of a lesson, expect everyone else to understand the rest that may not been taught.

It's frustrating because this is how my class going right now. I don't feel like I'm learning anything from my professor. It's just boring lecture videos that less than 15 minute video explaining one version of the question. I don't understand how is this educating people when it not explaining full concept to it's full capacity, so students can reach those standards the school wants to have on paper.

My Anatomy professor from last semester has been reading her RatemyProfessor reviews. She reads and comments on them. She also has been reporting every bad review she gets and has them removed. I feel like this is bad on her end because you can't expect every student to like you or have a good experience with you. I feel like students have a right to express how they feel about a professor whether it's negative or positive. Also when I was in her class she would constantly ask students "Am I doing good? Am I teaching good? Did I improve from last time?" I felt like she was constantly looking for approval and validation. To me it just came off as if she was insecure in her teaching abilities. All in all, what do you guys think about this?

I wanted to share an update on this post in case anyone else had been experiencing the same thing.

Original post here : https://www.reddit.com/r/CollegeRant/s/Ewa3617N7U

I found out I was being flagged for AI mainly due to proper use of a semi colon and for using certain vocabulary correctly. I read a decent amount, so I tend to learn a lot of words that I naturally use when writing/speaking. Unfortunately, this was making professors flag my work as being written with AI. I have started “dumbing” down my work and have not received a single flag for AI. Pretty embarrassed and disappointed to be a college student right now where purposefully doing worse on your assignments is a solution. And in case anyone was wondering, this lower quality work is receiving As.

I am finding it hard to be proud of myself academically anymore. I failed out of college the first time I went in 2019 due to severe depression. Fast forward to now, last semester I received straight As for the first time in my life… and I didn’t even feel like I had a right to be proud. I hate what is happening to higher education.

We recently had a group project on illegal immigration where we were tasked with arguing the pros and cons, one of my teammates made a false statement about a political figure and picked it as a topic. I emailed my professor and asked her if we should change it, but she deemed the topic acceptable. I don’t understand how a professor can allow students to use misinformation in their arguments. Am I overthinking this? I know I’ll get attacked in class but idc I’m not going to allow her to try and flood my brain with false info

I go to community college, and just happened to get lucky enough to take a class with one of those people who complains about literally everything. He hates his job, his apartment, his classes. He can’t find the time to turn his assignments for class due to his job, and makes it known to the WHOLE CLASS. All he does is complain. He often interrupts our professor during lecture.

The first day of class he interrupted our professor to talk about how McDonald’s uses seed oils which apparently take ten years off your life. He frequently talks about how if elected Kamala Harris would’ve started world war three. He once said Mexico should build a wall at its southern border. I thought i had no filter, until i met this kid.

My tuition is going towards listening to this kid spout random nonsense.

As someone with a learning disability im just struggling because my school just decided that everyone can do online classes with succed in them. So far the only online classes that ive took that haven't failed is music. Idek why i need to take academic classes like history and science im learning to be an auto technician but how am i supposed to do that when im drowing in the online classes. The teachers are not really specific and im just not use to this kind of speed. My classes in high school where not general ed meaning i had smaller slower classes to help me understand better. But now if something is a day late its going to be -10 off my grade. Do you me to succeed or do you want me to fail. And of course im going to us AI because i dont wanna fail and i was already put on an academic hold so im worried if i fail this class (which i probably will) its just going to mess up my credits or whatever making me not be able to go.

I’ve been having a two week long anxiety attack and finally decided to try the college’s well-being services. It was an insulting experience. I have depression, anxiety, OCD, and a bad relationship with my parents. This man kept bringing up how “other people have it worse,” kept interrupting me, and just wasn’t fucking listening. He had zero understanding of OCD that involves mental compulsions either, and when I gave an example he compared it to the “magical thinking” of a child that a child grows out of. Fuck student wellbeing all they’re good for is when they’re handing out free shit

Edit: TLDR - college counselors suck

I'm currently a freshman for Mechanical Engineering. Now I do want to switch to Electrical because that's what interested me the most, but the only university I could afford didn't have it. They only have Mechanical and Industrial. I find Mechanical to be extremely boring. Perhaps the actual work is cool but the coursework for it strains my mind.

Alright, enough about personal opinion. Here's what's on my mind:

I feel utterly incompetent. I attended a seminar about internships and I saw the people who experienced obtaining one and their work ethic showed throughout their talk. The requirements to obtain an internship also overwhelmed me. Perhaps I'm looking at it altogether and not piece by piece?

The amount of responsibilities kinda push aside responsibilities for myself. For example, getting close with professors to get good recommendations. I get burned out simply talking to everyday people, and these professors at this universities aren't that interesting, so it's mind numbing to try and have conversations with them. I once asked a professor if I could use google docs if I didn't have Word installed on my laptop and she said yes but it would be better to use Word. Then she went on a tangent about how it's better software for resumes.

And then the club activities I have to participate in. While getting the experience is good, maybe it's my mindset. I always viewed clubs as a way to establish your presence. If I participated in clubs enough, not only to improve my skills but gather connections so I could enhance my resume. And that's what these professors talk about. Resume, resume, resume. It makes everything feel so bleak. Clubs shouldn't be about that, especially not in my head.

I find myself waking up but having a hard time getting out of bed. I go to classes late. I procrastinate on assignments and that's why I failed one of the core classes last semester. Maybe it's depression or poor time management. It isn't the school's problem, it's mine. Deep down I just find all of this pointless. Sometimes I want to work in a bakery and sleep in a car. I don't want many things in life. I don't even know what engineers do in their free time. A lot of my classmates are focused on money and I find it to be a shitty motivation, but even they excel far more than me. I have avolition for college. Maybe it's the university and I don't like it. Maybe it's me.

I plan on switching to a CC for electrical engineering to see if I'll change for that. Hopefully my perception will change but if it doesn't, then I'll find my college experience to be simply mundane.

All colleges need to have two-credit asynchronous courses for electives where the courses are “fun” and may involve having to go to places, covered by the tuition. Examples include an ice cream class or pizza or video game-related courses.

Like, these courses don’t have majors for them and only exist to give elective credits while making students enjoy their college time.

Thoughts?

I consider this a semi-rant post because I feel like the fun of college could be improved upon a lot, especially for some dealing with mental health problems from courses.

Update: I emailed the professor and she responded saying that i can retake the exam on March 5th. She didn’t ask for proof but in case i might bring the doctor’s note and a copy of my grandpa’s death certificate.

It’s 8am and i got a call from my dad that woke me up. He told me my grandpa passed away. I am shaking. I can’t believe it but i also can because he has been in and out of hospital since December and he stayed in the hospital the whole month. What a fucking months. Not only that:

• I had stressful exams and i am studying for more stressful exams
• My grandma’s health worsened(dementia) and we can’t trust her to be on her own all the time because she does things and she doesn’t know why
• My grandfather’s health was getting better then worse in the hospital constantly
• My grandfather’s death

I put it last because it just happened. Everything is in chronological order. I hate this year. I hate my life. I hate everything. This can’t be true. I wouldn’t have been sad if my grandma(on dad’s side whose husband just died) died because she hated my mom to a point she made black magic on her to die(she buried her shirt in the graveyard) to have miscarriages she put some herbals in her tea that cause that(i know it sounds like a fairytale or some turkish series but it’s real - that woman is evil) and she is two faced woman who is nice to everyone in front of them but talks shit behind their backs. My grandpa is nothing like her i even wonder why did they marry. Is it because she ruined his family and he had no one to turn to afterwards? Actually there’s no point in saying that he is nothing like her because he isn’t alive anymore. I dislike my dad’s side of the family but him. Now he is gone. I remember how he played with me when i was a kid and how we used to joke together. I visit my dad twice a year now because i can’t afford to visit him more often(and i am scared of my grandma’s energy). The last time i saw him was last summer. I wish i didn’t take anything for granted.

My dad called me and the funeral might be tomorrow. Tomorrow i have an exam. I know i should email the professor but i don’t know if she will be understanding. During the lectures I earned extra points by assignments and she said that everyone will have one grade higher than they do because we did all the assignments correctly. The retake is in March. However I don’t know if that will apply to me anymore. I mean I’m a full-time student and it’s more frown upon to fail an exam when you’re a full-time student. I mean instead of a great I will have one big “NO” which means I didn’t attend the exam but what if I’m the only full-time student who has failed because i couldn’t go? That would be awkward to be only me in the retake room with the professor. I just hope that the funeral falls in Sunday or late Saturday like (around 3pm would be the best because I will take the exam I will catch the train and I will go to the funeral). If not…

I mean I don’t know if I should email the professor yet because I don’t know when the funeral will be. I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t believe he died(I mean it was logical to happen but I was optimistic because I wasn’t ready to lose a grandparent yet). Sometimes things like this make me want to drop out because I feel like life will not get easier. I’ve been having challenges outside of uni ever since i started. I’m a good student but maybe it’s not the right time. But my parents are funding my education. I can’t just drop out like that. They will be mad. I don’t know how to cope. I don’t know what to do. I mean i know i will email the professor for sure(I’ve never done that before besides from sending exams or assignments so i am nervous). What if she accuses me of lying? Many students lie. It’s literally a day before the exam. A day! I know i will take the exam next week but i don’t know how i will prepare while grieving. But it’s not like i have a funeral to attend to then.

I asked out my college crush & he said no. I made some friends but we didn’t continue to keep up with each other. I feel like I haven’t learned anything at all because quarter systems just feel like a dump of info that my mind purges right after. I’ll be leaving this school none the wiser & I can only hope I don’t leave this life in general with the same amount of discontent.

Spanish in College

I am a current freshman taking a Spanish 2 (Spanish 1002) class at my university, and I’m currently struggling.

For context, I took 2 years of Spanish in high school, but I haven’t taken a Spanish class since May 2023. I had to take a placement test to get into my class. A 26-40 would place me into my class and I got a 27, so I barely made the mark.

However, I feel I’m really struggling in my class. I feel I’ve forgotten so many basic skills because I’m haven’t taken a Spanish class in 1 1/2 years. My professor speaks primarily in Spanish and I can barely understand her. I feel in general my listening skills are way below where they should be. We also have to do a lot of speaking in my class and I feel my speaking skills are way below where they should be as well, especially compared to my classmates.

A lot of my classmates have been out of Spanish for some time too, but they don’t seem to be struggling as much. For example, we had a writing assignment and most people wrote a full page but I only wrote half a page. They answer the professors questions in class. And I got last on a Kahoot.

As part of my class, we have online conversations with native speakers and other people in our class. Mine genuinely went so bad. I could hardly understand my speaker and I could hardly answer her questions because I simply didn’t know the Spanish. Meanwhile, the other people in my group were having full conversations with her.

I would drop to a lower class, but my only option would be to drop to Spanish 1001, which is the very first basic class. I don’t feel I’m up to level in my class, but I feel I know enough that I wouldn’t belong in Spanish 1001. I would go to tutoring, but I’m not really sure what I need help with. I can’t pinpoint exact issues so I’m not sure how much tutoring would help.

I want to learn Spanish, but I’m worried my grade won’t be good if I stay in this class. I’m considering just dropping the class completely. Does anyone have any advice?

I was humiliated by my professor in pre-calculus today, and honestly, I don't even want to show up for the next class. Keep in mind, this class just started three days ago, and since day one, we've already been working on problems. I've been studying and actively seeking a tutor, but today, my professor called on students to answer questions. I had a feeling this was going to happen, but I didn't expect it to go as badly as it did. Eventually, she called on me, and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out the answer. I took a guess at first, but it was the wrong one, so I just admitted that I didn't know and apologized. She stared at me for a while and shrugged, and then I proceeded to pull out my notes to try and figure it out. At that point, she threw her hands up in frustration, sat down, and everyone in the class just stared at me. My legs went numb, and I started stuttering. Finally, she gave up, called on someone else, and they answered correctly. She turned to me and said, "Was it really that hard?" I just wanted to cry, but I held it together and sat through the rest of the class. Thankfully, someone sitting next to me offered to help with the problems I was struggling with in the library. I just don't know how I'm going to face the professor again.

I don't indulge in negative talk since I genuinely don't have the opportunity to fall into a slump while working and going to school full time.

However, despite all my efforts to study myself, study the actual material, write down not only notes but questions and my thought process to put my brain on the page, I still fail, and nobody really has time to go through my thoughts. Even if I could afford psychiatry, CBT would be too generalized for my specific blunders in mathematics, computer science and natural science, but I'm not well researched in that regard. My family also won't let me go and then possibly have a psychiatric record, so there is nothing I can do through insurance for the next few years.

I am too visual of a person. I struggle studying intangible subjects, and I especially struggle with intangible relationships between said intangible objects. My experiences studying mathematics in college have been relentlessly working on practice problems waiting for an epiphany to even finish my homework, epiphanies that never came. My questions more often sound like gibberish and I barely know what I am asking myself, or I ask more pedagogical questions since I can't violate academic integrity by asking online. Combined with this aphantasia even in natural science subjects, I struggle to memorize specific names and chemical structures. When shown an original problem I don't know what to do.

It is mostly my fault but I can't help but be a little peeved at my community college. Basically, I was perfectly on track to get my Associate's of Arts, but had assumed I needed more classes because my advisors weren't entirely transparent with me. Every time it was something different like "actually you need to take this other english class" or "oh wait you already have that credit, you need to take two more science classes."

I mean I didn't assume anything bad because I was like "it is their job to help me out with this stuff, they know what they're talking about". Until I came back, sat down in the office and the nice young new employee tells me, "Yeah, you're done. You just didn't register to graduate :)"

I kind of just stared at her and was like- man nobody even told me that was a thing! Which maybe I should've known, but I didn't know I was done with community college either.

It didn't help that my family doesn't want me to pursue a degree in the humanities. My Dad is a little more on board with me going into environmental science and yeah, that sounds a lot nicer than archaeology. But I don't have the head for it, my brain doesn't like those millions of words that look and sound the same but somehow mean different things.

I ended up making a compromise with the advisor, as I also had nearly enough credits to also claim an Associate's of Science. I had taken some credits in High School after all, so I had the room to do it. So I enrolled in an "Intro to Human Anatomy" course and I hate it. It is advertised as a course for non-science majors, but every time I open the online course on canvas I feel like I'm stuck at the DMV or something.

I'm frustrated now because three weeks in, we already have an exam. But it is only two chapters so I'm like okay, we can do this. I study all week, stay up late and try my best to memorize what the frig the definition of an enzyme is, and my head goes blank. It doesn't help that Honorlock is watching me and I'm hyper paranoid of observation from cameras, so I'm sweating like I DID something wrong. Also the guy can hear me quietly swearing and staring at the screen like I'd just seen something horrible.

I manage to get away with an 83%, but that dropped my grade down to an A-. I know that is still good, but I checked my answers and most of it was pure luck. After all a good chunk of it was chemistry, a subject I only passed in high school because I took it during COVID and the teacher just gave everyone pity grades. I'm worried about the rest of the course, as I both don't care for it, and don't have a scientific head.

I should probably be smarter and not just blatantly trust my advisors. After all, the same girl at the office told me this was a course about zoology and animals. It's a field I understand a tad better, and that is literally what it was labeled as on my schedule. When I brought it to their attention they then pointed out "it is an intro class".

And while I probably wouldn't have transferred over to a real big man university after I graduated, I still would've liked to know I was done.

TL;DR: I could've graduated earlier, my advisors didn't tell me, and now I'm in an anatomy class that I don't care for or understand.

I’m lonelier than I think I’ve ever been in my life, and I’ve been a mostly friendless introvert for most of high school and three years of community college.

I’m not gonna quit and go home, my parents sacrificed too much for me to just quit, but its tempting as hell.

I'm in community college I feel like I should've gone to a 4 year. I find it hard to get along with people and I only rely talk to my hs friends as I don't really see my cc club friends outside of club and I feel like I should've went straight to a uni and as I'll have to adjust to a new campus and probably need a job by my sophomore year (im dling an early transfer)which sucks as I could've spent the first year at uni without needing ti worry about a job. I'll also have less time to have the college experience and I wouldn't mind doing an extra year of university to make up for that loss. I don't really care about saving money anymore as I don't think it's worth sacrificing the fun I could he having.