My hoarder mom has filled every open space in this house with junk, but GOD FORBID any of my stuff is in a common area, suddenly it accounts for 99% of the junk in here.

I still live with my parents. I do alot of the errands. Where hand and hand hoarders go with enablers. They love to drink soda/pop go out to eat to buffets and constantly bring home carry out boxes. They are bringing eaters. They eat to feel better. Same with my sibling. I go grocery shopping a lot and buy stuff for them. Which I'm helping the enablers bad eating in a sense. I'm very aware of the bad habits of bringing home items like things we don't need. I'm stuck in this situation of doing laundry when it needs to be done because I know how to work the washer. My mother's seems to not know how to do laundry. If she does she leaves it in the wash can't dry it. I have to wash the dishes because she dumps food down the drain. Feels like I'm rasing kids. Things are constantly being moved around to different location after I've already moved them. It's frustrating.
My sibling already told me that I make my parents want to unalive themselves. When many times they make me want to as well.

Okay, so I'm not yet diagnosed but I believe I have a personality disorder of some description. My life is highly impacted by the way I live. Also my parents. The both of them.

Was just wondering if anyone else has or is diagnosed with any PDs. Which ones if so?

It's hard to tell apart PDs from autism/ADHD, especially without bringing it up with a professional, I am aware; however, I was just curious so I could know if anyone else is impacted in the way I think I might be.

Left my parents hoarder house 3.5 hears ago. I've been feeling better mentally, but I often get sick physically. My blood exams were perfect and I don't have any major health issues, so I'd say that I'm just facing some repercussions of living in an unsanitary place with black mold, pests and whatnot. Does anyone feel the same?

I don’t think the dynamic at home will ever get better. I’m curious, for those of you that left, have you dealt with any feelings of guilt, shame, responsibility, etc? Have you had any romantic partners that have wanted to try and push you towards reconciliation, or don’t understand your need for distance?

I get therapy, but have you found people understanding of the situation? Or has your family’s hoarding continue to cause strain on you and potential relationships?

I can't do this anymore. I'm trying so hard but all it's met by is more demands that won't ever be finished (ie buying me a new bed for my " new room " that won't ever be cleaned)

I need to feel understood. I live in Australia so spider season is coming up I hate this so much I have bites all over me.

I can't do anything without my meds but my mum has control of them. I was a meth addict trying to fix this but obviously that wasn't the right way to go about things and only fucked things up more.

Please tell me if you relate. I need it.

While I haven’t been in my mom’s house in years - I tried a couple years ago and she wouldn’t answer the door - I know it’s become very bad. I’m very low contact with her, and rarely talk to her. She’s made no effort to have any sort of relationship with me or my siblings, except birthday cards and sending my kids loads of stuff, which I usually throw out or donate. She decided to come to Christmas at my sisters house this year, and as soon as I walked in, I smelled feet. I asked my sister and brother-in-law what that smell was since their house is meticulously clean, and they both said it was my mom.

She previously took such pride in her appearance - she got her hair done, and wore outfits she thought were really nice. Her clothes were clean. But not anymore - her hair looked like it hadn’t been washed in months, there were stains on her clothes, and the smell! I’m guessing her washing machine and hot water heater have since gone out since I moved out 15 years ago and her house is so full of stuff she can’t get anything fixed.

I had a baby six months ago and she hasn’t even seen her even though she lives two hours away - which was fine by me. Until Christmas. As soon as we took our baby out of her carrier she was asking to hold her. How do I tell my own mom she can’t hold my baby? Then I noticed the baby was getting hungry so I got her a bottle and gave her to my sister to feed. My sister then asked my mom if she wanted to feed her!!! I know I could’ve said she can’t hold our baby but I didn’t want to cause a scene. I tried to keep their interactions brief. When I did take the baby, I had to change her clothes because I felt like she smelled like my mom and just seemed dirty.

My mom would never just come visit our house unless there was some event - and even then, she might not. But I want to get our baby baptized, and my mom thinks she’s this perfect Catholic , so I’m guessing she’d be right there for appearances. We’d probably have a little gathering at our house afterwards, and I really don’t want her in our house. Or for my husbands family to be exposed to her.

I figure I have three options - don’t invite her, invite her and hope she doesn’t come, or invite her and if she comes ask her to shower at our house and I’ll wash her clothes, which will likely trigger some sort of response from her. And I don’t know what to do. How did it come to this?!

I had been no contact with my mother for years because she is abrasive, abusive and toxic. I made amends a few years ago for myself because I was riddled with guilt for cutting ties with her. Turns out, she was the same a$$hole. This time, she was the one who cut ties with me. And it was nice because I didn't have to feel bad about it, since it was her choice.

Flash forward a few years later to present day. My sister sent me a video of our mother's hoarder house. She had sent me one years prior, which was shocking. But this one was so much worse. My mother ended up in the hospital AGAIN and my older sister went to locate the dog that was left behind and thats when she took the video.

Watching the video.....I don't even know what I feel. There is not one surface that isn't covered. My sister was walking on piles of trash. There was animal feces everywhere. Cobwebs hanging from the kitchen ceiling, draped about 2 feet down. The shower was filled with trash. The bed piled with used adult diapers. Beer cans everywhere. Ceilings caving in. I was told that there were bins of rotten meat in the living room covered in maggots.

When she moved into this place (around 2008) I painted every wall. I moved every box. I tried to help her pair down some things because she's always been a "clutter bug". It was a nice home. Its where we would all convene for holidays and birthdays. We didn't grow up in filth.

I have so many pictures of happy memories that were made in that home. My mother was always miserable and mean during our gatherings. But I still miss having a mother. Watching that video felt like being in a haunted house.

My oldest sister is caring for the dog that was lost in my mother's hoard house. It was covered in huge scabs and had lost most of its hair.

I know that personal loss is a huge part of hoarding and I can't help to think that I contributed to this by going no contact with her. I don't have any plans on reconciling with her. But hearing my sister's voice on the video tour of mother's home breaks my damn heart.

The home has been condemned and apparently my mother is going to live in an assisted living facility.

I just....sometimes I like to convince myself that I over-exaggerate everything. Maybe I'm a liar? Maybe I made it all up? But I didn't. Because my sister sent me proof.

That video is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. I don't know what my feelings are so I don't know how to process them.

Thank you for letting me vent. I'm glad I found this group but I'm sad that there are so many of us.

Do you watch the Hoarders TV show?

When people hear that my mom is a hoarder, they tell me to watch the Hoarders show. I had only seen one episode and it was too close to home.

But after reading the resources in the auto response to my first post here, I decided to watch the first two episodes last night. It actually made me understand a bit better that I need to let go of any thought of helping my 85 year old mom.

When she ends up in a care facility or dies someday, my brother and I will have to clean it all out. Maybe our other two siblings will help.

Fortunately, she doesn’t have pets, rotting food or broken toilets and sinks like the people I saw on the show. Her dishes, clothes, sheets and towels are washed regularly.

I’m currently trying to get back on depression meds that I quit earlier this year. The impending chore of eventually cleaning out her house, and all the angst of being the child of a hoarder, is a big contributor to my depression. I suppose I shouldn’t watch any more episodes.

Thoughts?

My mom is 85 years old. Her house has filled up with even more junk since my stepdad died nearly two years ago. The garage, shed and every surface in every room is piled 6 feet high with junk, including the floors, the couch and half of the double bed she sleeps in.

There are two open dining chairs and just enough room on the table for her to eat meals. Except for cleaning the two bathrooms and doing laundry, she sits all day at the kitchen table, knitting and ordering new stuff from catalogs by telephone.

This is obviously not a safe space but she refuses to let us help, see a therapist or downsize to a senior apartment.

How did you get your HP out of such a mess and how did the house get cleaned out and on the market if your parent was fighting you?

Here I come with another long, ranting post. Thanks in advance for reading it all if you do. CW: belittling, mentions of dv

I have been having a lot of negative thoughts surrounding my SO since late in my 2nd pregnancy when I told him I would have an increased need for help with chores like dishes and general tidying postpartum. Not even 2 weeks after I had baby 2, he said "It would really help ME finish my book if you would take care of more of the chores". For context, he has been working on "his book" for over 20 years, I have been in his life for ~5 1/2. He doesn't even try to ignore his past trauma to the point of shutting down my dreams ( had a crappy business deal with an ex and would not try again to start our own business with me even before we had kids, we had startup and lots of free time but the book and his feelings were more important) he says he "isn't bothered" by messes and even though I think he thinks he means well as in he wants me to put less pressure on myself to clean, it is backfiring and makes him seem like a callous dolt ignorant of my wishes when he too spent time in that moldy, cluttered basement and home of my mom's.

I grew up with my mom's hoarding and almost lost my life a few times in desperate attempts to leave the mess behind. A terrible drama unfolded with my mom's hoarded house earlier this year resulting in some of my old belongings being returned to me, creating what looks like a hoarded room temporarily. I cleaned it up so it was navigable after sizing it up for about a month. I handle all dishes, sorting laundry, tidying, sweeping, and mopping, most of the cooking (85%) and am breastfeeding my 5 month old and am primary caregiver for our 2 year old and I am aching for some support and understanding. When he does help with the dishes he acts like a martyr and takes FOREVER with it, he has done them about 12 times in the 18 months we have lived here. He pays the bills at least. In case you want to know why and how i am with this person, It is a long story.

Anyone else feel dismissed for the desire for clean surroundings? Anyone else accepting being treated like trash in a relationship because hoarder parents made them associate themselves with such notions? I understand I have brought up more than a few issues here. All input is welcome, I am dying for conversation that does not include accusatory tones for having a problem in the first place.

EDIT: he thinks he does his fair share of chores. He is coping with his anxiety by spending his personal time doing what the heck ever. Idk... I just don't enjoy arguing with him so I don't really even make him aware of my needs anymore since he is a "what about me" type. I'm just going to do what I want since that's what he does.

What do I get a hoarder for christmas that won’t just be … added to the pile ?!

Growing up, my Mom never liked to call it hoarding. She could throw it away, she's just a packrat and gets anxious about cleaning. Plus it's not as bad as the houses you see on TV. Nevermind that there's paths, piles to the ceiling, and numerous unusable pieces of furniture that have been covered in stuff for years.

However, a few years ago, she moved, and was forced to throw a lot of that stuff away. New house, fresh start. And it was a lot better.

But now I'm scared. I feel like I can see it beginning. I open the cupboards and they're full to bursting. There are designated rooms where piles are allowed. That closet hasn't been opened in 2 years. She says it's just because of the cats, they make it hard to keep clean. When I visited last I sorted the mail on the kitchen table, paid an old toll that had accumulated late fees and was about to go to collections, because the letter was lost in the sea of mail on the table.

I know it's not as bad as it used to be. It's a lot better. But I feel like it's happening again. My mom's in a much better place than she used to be, and I hoped that she'd be better able to manage keeping a house now that she's not a financially distressed single mom.

I love my mother, but the hoard was so traumatic, and when I try to talk to her about it she just minimizes everything. I understand why she gets defensive, it can't be fun to hear that your issues fucked up your child. But it's like she thinks it was fine, and it makes me feel like I'm crazy. And it makes me scared.

I don't know what to do. I want to help, but I don't know if I can. I know that table will be full of mail again soon. I've been trying to convince her to start therapy for years, but she says she can't because her work schedule is too inconsistent.

Do I just, leave her be? Keep my visits short, say it's because my cat has crippling separation anxiety? Tell her the truth that I won't stay more than two nights because I can't breathe properly in her house? I don't want to abandon her, but I can't keep retraumatizing myself when I know it won't help in the long run. What's the balance between supportive and enabling?

My mum moved out of the family house over 5 years ago and left all of her hoardings behind for me to deal with. Yesterday I was continuing the epic clear out and frustration at this scenario got the better of me:

-me having to invest so much time and energy into sorting out her belongings

-facing resistance from her at every step of the way

-her making me feel guilty about decluttering

-the fact that I haven’t been able to use the spare bedroom at all since she moved out

I had a proper rant about it to my friends, then my partner. I think it did me good to get the frustration off my chest. But now it’s the day after and I feel guilty about venting to them; like I’ve betrayed my mum by complaining about the situation.

Anyone else feel guilty after venting their feelings?

Im visiting my childhood home today and staying for two nights. I'm dreading the visit. Sharing this here since I don't know anyone who can relate to this feeling.

I am going though things my HM left behind when she decided her hoard was more important than our relationship and came across this "really good box" As I have been conditioned, I can tell you it is good because it is heavy cardboard, the sides have been pushed down indefinitely, but if you needed to, could be utilized again. It is a large size but not too large to carry. As you can see from the crosses out writing, it has been used again and again. This will be it's last time as I fill it with things to get rid of today and the final writing on the box will be FREE.

Hello everyone, any advice or personal guidance that can be given for my specific situation would be very helpful and id appreciate anyone's time and input.

Background: I'm a 30 year old male, only child, both of my parents have been borderline hoarders for my entire life. Not to the extent that the house is not able to be navigated, but to the extent that all cupboards, drawers, dressers, closets, storage spaces were bursting at the seams and very unorganized. The basement and two car garage absolutely stuffed with things from over the years.

My dad passed in January of 2023. So now it's just myself and my mom. As I said I'm an only child, we don't have any extended family, or anyone close that's really able to help or make a huge impact. Her neighbors are very helpful and help her take trash to the curb / mow her lawn free of charge. As I live about a half hour away and I'm able to visit once or twice a week with my schedule.

In July of 2023 I took a week off work, and we filled two average sized dumpsters with stuff from the garage / basement and it's now mostly cleared out. Ever since my dad passed she has been in a major depressive episode, she deals with her own health issues and has some limited mobility although she can walk short distances without issues. It's been almost two years since my dad has passed and her mental state / behavior surrounding taking care of herself and her main living area is not improving.

Every horritzontal counter top in the house is absolutely covered and filled with random things, from the kitchen counter tops / island / kitchen table / dining room table / buffet cabinet / coffee table, to the bathroom sink /night stands in the bedroom. She doesn't seem able or capable mentally to clean up, organize or maintain a healthy living area for herself and im at an absolute loss as to how to get her moving in the right direction. Any time I'm over here and try to get her to help me clean her areas, she tells me she's exhausted and has no energy to do so, she is not in disagreement that these areas need improvement and need to be cleared / cleaned but she has really not taken any steps towards doing this herself. When I visit it's very minor improvements or one area is a bit better with another area worse. She doesn't work, she doesn't drive. She is just at home all day with nothing to do. Even if she spent an hour a day cleaning and organizing and then actively tried to maintain her progress there would be noticeable improvement in a week or two.

What plan of action should I take, we live in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania, she obviously needs some form of therapy / counseling / mental health professional.. but is there any one that specializes with in home cleaning and organizing that can spend some time with her or help her with this? It's getting to a point where I can't allow her to live like this much longer, if we can't get it turned around, I don't feel comfortable with her cooking, eating, bathing or existing in these kinds of conditions, she is going to trip and fall, get some form of illness from unsanitary kitchen or bathroom areas... my main concern is for her health and well being. I want to keep her in the house if at all possible. But it doesn't seem as if she has the faculties to do this on her own.

She is not obstructive to the process, she's just not capable. Any suggestions of what I should be looking for as far as professional help, or if I should focus on mental health first before the household.. I just need to get this in the right direction before I have to make a decision to move her out and burn the house to the ground. Thank you in advance.

My grandmother and mom are both hoarders… like the kind you see on the TV. Every year since I was a child for as long as I can remember we were always cleaning out grandma house because grandma needed help getting space in her apartment as a child I was forced to clean and watch her fill her house up to the brim. If we try to throw away trash like candy wrappers or a screw she wouid go absolutely nuts and threaten to kill herself. My mom and my aunt and uncle enabled this behavior for far to long that it’s way out of control. I told both my grandmother and my mother that I will not continue to help clean if she doesn’t get the help she needs like therapy. Now my mother is becoming the same and it’s becoming what feels like a curse to my family, I dread people dying because my mother and my grandmother are the first people at their houses taking their things and attaching themselves to their items refusing to let it go. Then tries to then invade the spaces our homes for her stuff because she has no more room in her house. But in the same sense she wants her house clean so when we try to clean she complains if we throw things away, just like the way my grandma is. It’s to the point I have to clean when they are gone so they don’t know what’s missing, I could throw away 20 loads of trash (not dirty trash more messy trash and clothes and other items) but then she cries to me because her apartment not clean. I have 3 small kids of my own and my own issues to deal with I don’t know how to help anymore, nothing I do will change the fact that they will fill it right back up. Nobody wants to help them anymore.

He's almost 80. Every time I visit home he said he's been cleaning out, but it looks exactly the same.

I've tried tough love, but he gets really defensive. It's not worth it to come home and just be mad at him, so eventually I just accepted that he'll live the rest of his life surrounded by trash and I try to not let it bother me.

It makes me sad, like I should've helped him somehow.

Back in June my mom's hoarded house (stage 3 leaning to 4) was partially burned, allegedly by my then alcoholic brother (I don't believe it...). My mom has been living with relatives, namely her brother and his wife. Their daughter just got married, and they have been kinda twisting her arm to sell the house as soon as possible. They used to respond to my texts and she did too more frequently but since I voiced my opinion that my mother keep her disgusting but beloved home to finally fix it up and sell it at a worthy price (invest ~250k, home is worth easily .5mil if sold in good condition), it has basically been radio silence.

Don't get me wrong. It's weirdly vindicating to watch this unfold. I have an inkling they want any money faster so they can take it to pay for my cousin's wedding. They can vilify us and sit on the high horse while my mom's memory and free agancy wanes further. She doesn't even remember much for more than a few minutes and has been struggling with the concept that she can no longer control the situation. The city has seen it and it is either sell it to someone who will fix it, fix it ourselves, or condemnation, seizure and probably fines. I have a feeling they don't want to hear my opinion especially because it is the same as my dad's, and they despise him. Just for him divorcing my mom... But she made us grow up in squalor! and now all those precious belongings she cared about more than us will go to making my cousin's sweet life even sweeter!! My dad brought me some of my residual belongings from my spaces in the house. I think of stuff everynday I want to reclaim from the mess. I think of all the times I tried to clean or offered financial assistance for services to fix the many problems in the house (it is condemnable and everything that was there REEKED of mold for weeks after removal...heck, when my fiancé and I first left our stay in that house our coffee maker looked like a petri dish when we brought it into the heat and light of day from the basement!). I live states away from all that and have kids of my own now that I honestly don't care if my mom ever gets to meet. Some days I want to forgive her and then I remember that I actually laughed out loud when I heard the house had burnt. Apparently 1 in every 3 deaths from fire in America are in/result of hoarded homes.

I mean, it IS a fitting end. It's bittersweet, and ironic in a million ways. I guess I am just glad that house won't cast a shadow over us any longer by physical presence and maybe we can all move on and forget how this XL sized token of neglect mouldered away our souls as children.

Ever see a hoarder get their just desserts? Let me know!!

I’m so angry right now. My seventeen year old sister lives with my older sister because my mom has been “ leaning” her house for seven years to make it acceptable for my little sister to live in and somehow it has only gotten worse every year. Thank god my sister has a safe home to stay in but my mom’s cats who are ANGELS have horrible lives and I worry about them constantly.The GIANT dog she already has is untrained and poops and pees everywhere and spreads garbage all over the house (that he finds in partially filled trash bags full of rotting food that is already on the floor anyway.) and she can’t even afford to treat a uti if her cats get them from NEVER having their litter boxes cleaned.

I hate her so much. I really fucking do.

So this morning as I was turning in my oven to toast some bread, I did my usual “reflex” of turning on the oven and opening it to make sure it was empty before it began heating. I do this motion in such one smooth move that it seems like a one action. Like putting your car in reverse and looking behind me. Growing up, there was always a ton of random items crammed into the oven. If I wanted to use the oven, it had to be cleaned out, first. I know of several occasions that I didn’t look in the oven and things got burned. I’m 53. I moved out at 17. I’m not a hoarder but I still do this. Then I wondered if anyone else has a reflex like this or does the same thing. Anyone else?

Father in law died. Was one of the biggest hoarders ever. Went there to start going thru the mess. Took me 8 hours and I didn’t even make a dent in the ONE ROOM. What did I find mixed in a bag of trash?? A one hundred year old wedding invitation from my husbands grandmothers wedding! How could he treat it so poorly? Hidden under a ratty blanket and covered with inches of dust (on top of blanket and under blanket- a talking machine aka a victrola. With hundred year old albums in the storage slots. Under another ratty blanket? A pristine curio cabinet with rounded glass containing china that was a wedding gift of his grandparents. The original boarding pass from the ship tickets they purchased to immigrate to the US. How does one let such precious stuff lay beside cat shit?

Now there are 9 1/2 more rooms to go. Original plan was to just trash everything. Now instead i have to pick through mounds of garbage to make sure there are no more pieces of my husbands heritage mixed in with the junk.

My husband is not able to do this for health reasons. I could have cried when I found the photo album from the 1800’s with all the photos ruined because they sat under a ceiling with a leak in it.

Anyway we always dreaded when the day would come when he would pass and this huge house of god knows what would be our problem. The day finally arrived and now it’s worse then I ever thought- because I find there are actually treasures mixed with the trash‼️

So one day while I was at my parents house, I said goodbye and went to pick up my bike bag. It was lying open next to the door. Next to a pile of random hoarded crap. And for whatever reason (we all know the reason), I started to fill my bag. My parents were watching TV so couldn't hear me. I loaded the bag up as much as I could, until I could barely carry it, and shouted out one last bye and left.

It was so heavy the panier (bike bag) nearly made the bike fall over.

When I got home (after a tough bike ride up many hills with that heavy bag!), I opened up the bag and spread everything on the floor. And it was all junk. 99% of it went into the bins (most of that was for recycling as there was so much paper). I spotted a few things like a tie and some shoes and some picture frames and made a rule that I can't keep anything (I definitely have the genetic potential to become a hoarder!), so put the salvageable stuff on the street.

Then, two days later, I was at my parents house and I did it again. I stole another bag of stuff.

This was three months ago.

Since then, I've stolen 28 bags of stuff.

And my parents have not noticed.

I've managed to take out over 150 books, 18 pairs of shoes (all were broken and went straight to the bin), about 30 floppy disks, 30 framed pictures, 10 baseball hats, 20 ties, 100 or more pieces of cheap jewelry, 100 magazines, and about 100 pieces of tupperware. All of it has either gone in the bin, on the street for people to take, or to a local charity shop (they hot all the frames and ties and baseball caps!).

I've moved at times from the hallway to the kitchen and to the upstairs hallway.

And my parents have not noticed.

Whenever I take stuff, there's a noticeable "gap" amongst the hoard. But by the time of my next visit, the gap has been filled.

On top of being hoarders, my dad is an angry, raging narcissist and my mum, who was once an introverted narcissist, is living with Alzheimer’s. This is why I can get away with it. It would've been impossible in the past.

I'm not sure if they will ever notice. But I'll keep doing it until they do. It gives me so much pleasure and satisfaction and has helped me deal with all of this so much.

It makes me feel like I'm doing something and at least I've started the process of clearing out their house. I've not told my siblings and don't intend to (especially as my older sister is also narcissitic).

I have found some stuff that I can sell on ebay (antique books etc.) and I've set up a savings account for the proceeds and am using the money to take my mum out for tea and cake (her favourite) and to visit her old friends as much as possible. Its worked out as a good system! (I also need the separate account in case my siblings ever find out and I can show them what I did with the money).

Their house is so disgusting and filthy and he is allowing my mum to live in the filth. I get so angry sometimes as it demonstrates that my dad could allow someone to help if he wanted to but he is too selfish to allow this.

I feel sad for my mum as she used to be a really clean and tidy person. I'm glad she is far gone enough to not care.

But stealing from them has been so helpful for my mental health (the shreds remaining) and hopefully I'll be able to keep doing it.

Bit of back story, my sister is the owner of our parents home due to a life estate that was set up in 2015. Due to circumstances, it was the best choice at the time and all parties agreed and worked in depth with a lawyer to make sure it was the best fit. Our dad passed away suddenly in 2021.

Fast forward to today, my sister and I went to visit our mom to try and gently discuss some issues where she had stopped maintaining the house, and there are no words to describe what we walked in to. In a two story home there are now piles of stuff floor to ceiling everywhere. There is barely a path from the front door to a single chair where mom apparently sits.

This has happened in a matter of months. Last time my sister was out she said things were in some disrepair, but clean. Mom (she’s 67) has apparently started hitting up everything from estate sales, flea markets, to online shopping like ebay and just picking up anything that strikes her fancy.

What is terrifying to us is that my sister is a petite woman and she could barely squeeze through areas of the house. Mom’s completely walled off her bedroom so there is only one path in or out and the room is at the very back of the house. Even the stove is piled with stuff, and we found an outlet that still had something plugged in with burn marks and which was mildly melted. There may also be black mold on the second story due to an ongoing water leak but we have no idea (it was mold, it was black in color, and it was all over the ceiling in one of the bedrooms).

So we actively have a fire concern as well as numerous other areas of concern. If this house catches fire it is a threat to multiple neighbors because of how close the houses in the area are but also due to some of the things mom seems to be hoarding being extremely flammable.

We’re still processing this sudden switch, and though we tried talking with her to get an idea of what was going on she was just extremely angry we dared say anything and kicked us out.

Help? What in the world do we do here? What can we do here? It’s a private residence but mom is technically a sort of tenant, so can we just start cleaning up ourselves if attempts at communication fail? Should we? With the number of safety hazards do we have to go to the city? Both of us are completely at a loss and have never encountered anything like this so any advice would be greatly and deeply appreciated.

I'm visiting my HP for several weeks, departing soon. I live a long plane ride away these days. Being back here has brought up so much anger and frustration at times. I've tried to focus on "helping in the ways I am asked" - we all know anything else doesn't work and just makes matters worse.

The thing is, I've barely been able to muster the energy to clean the main rooms. I'm definitely not keeping up as well as I thought I would. My HP is disappointed we're not making more progress, and so am I. She's ready to let some stuff go and I badly want to help.

Does anyone else feel utterly drained by the hoarding environment? By the faucets that leak/hot water shut off, duct tape holding the house together, appliances that don't work, clutter you have to work around & trip over? The cleaning you have to do because they are dirt & mess blind? It's so exhausting just being here, how do you find the energy to help?

Suggestions for organizing mail/preventing junk mail from companies and what to do with all these trinkets and overall junk? I’m on a mission to help my parents organize and get rid of things after my dad lost his job.