Hey bros,

I’ve been on this subreddit for a while now and I really appreciate everything this group stands for. I want to do contribute to something that helps more men/people with positive masculinity and these types of men’s issues. I’ve been looking for non-profits/orgs that are looking to help men, but a lot of the men’s groups I’m finding are “men’s rights groups” which are just incredibly misogynistic and gross. Do you all have anything you know of or something to look for?

I've been doing a kind of therapy called EMDR to help with PTSD from a really shitty childhood (really recommend EMDR btw). It's helping a lot, but a side-effect of it is that my brain + body have been randomly deciding to process random shitty things without any input from me at random times outside of the EMDR sessions. Today, I woke up, and realized my body decided it was time to connect the dots and feel allllllllllllllllllllllllllll the feelings about something really heavy and upsetting (>!my mom was frequently really sexually inappropriate towards me, and i connected the dots re: that and a lot of my hang-ups around touch, sexuality and even non-sexual physical intimacy!<). I...don't really know what to do with this?

I'm also house-bound from sequelae following a viral infection. A year ago, before that happened, my way of dealing with this would have been to go on a good long walk. But I can't walk very far right now--I can barely leave my apartment. So I'm trying to think of other things to do that might help me feel a bit better. Been trying to distract myself with busywork or TV, it works for a bit but then the show ends, I come back to my body, and I am having an even worse time than I was before. So I don't think that's helpful. Any hot tips?

I'm a 45 yo guy and have no life beyond work and family. I'm looking for something to do a couple times a month that will help me build a small group of friends. Any help appreciated.

Hey bros. I have a roommate situation I've been in for years. Two other guys. One of them works from home (hardly ever leaves) the other is part-time. Both of them have trouble with the concept of an indoor voice and very excited talking to each other during (which causes a loud feedback loop where they get louder) the day when I'm trying to sleep (I'm back to night shift, they work days). I've tried talking to them about it only to get blown off. I've tried noise canceling headphones and ear plugs and I still hear them.

Something needs to change, the disruption to my sleep is causing health issues. We have a lease renewal coming up, I'm considering using the opportunity to raise the issue with them, that we may need to go to a 9-month lease instead of a year because I may have to look for somewhere else.

I don't want to move because right now I can't afford to, and another friend of mine won't need another roommate for 2 years (which is a whole other issue).

I don't want to be the asshole constantly yelling at them. What do bros?

Edit: thank you for your responses, you are true bros. Original content deleted for privacy.

My Dad Bros, watch this movie. It's so wonderful to see an example of a great father alongside a man who puts in the work to become a great father.

We so often get fed the bumbling man-child, absentee workaholic or alpha misogynist. It's not the men's story, but it's so refreshing to see a man worth aspiring to and an imperfect man making imperfect progress at becoming who he knows he needs to be.

Hey bros! It's time for your weekly vibe check. How are you doing? Anything you're struggling with? Do you need advice, or would you like to share an achievement with us?

Out the gate: I'm Canadian, this is about the Christmas holiday season. Actually it sort of doesn't matter when, but the holiday season upcoming makes it harder to ignore.

Context: My Dad and his wife fell pretty hard into the whole Freedom Convoy thing a couple of years ago, to the point where he missed celebrating a milestone birthday of mine because while I have no problem with them protesting something they don't believe in and I celebrate their right to having a different opinion, because I didn't agree with their stance I said that any participation in family events meant that I didn't want to talk about it because it was too divisive and likely to devolve into unpleasantness, while there were many other good and positive things to discuss instead. What I received following that were two of the longest text messages I have ever received from anyone, going on about how he wouldn't be silent anymore, blah blah blah. I replied simply, fine, then I'm not coming.

Fast forward a few months and he calls me, asking me if he did something wrong. Incredulous, I laid into him, and while the topics bounced around between vaccine mandates, freedom, "doing your own research" at the university of Facebook, and all that other crap, I was adamant that my issue wasn't with his choices or what he believed but that he immediately ignored a boundary I put up so I removed myself from the situation. The conversation ended with him at least understanding that point. From then on things have been tense-ish. I make holidays 2022 work somehow.

Last year, around Easter, we go for a visit. My stepmom immediately dives in on how trans people shouldn't share bathrooms, and that kids in schools are being confused by all this gender identity stuff, etc. My eldest, who is on her school's GSA, is stunned by this, but keeps quiet. My sister is also there, and looks at me like, should we say something? I shake my head; not worth the fight. I pull back even more from seeing that side of the family; I have friends who have trans and non-binary kids, and I have a real hard time with people hating a group for precisely no reason other than their own fear.

Last holiday season I wasn't sure what to do either, but gave them the benefit of the doubt and whether they had enough self-awareness to realize that maybe the boundary of not talking divisive issues at family events is a good one or something else, they ended up creating a really enjoyable holiday visit for us.

This year things have gotten worse. They're posting all sorts of "when I was a kid boys were boys and girls were girls" memes on Facebook, and generally showing how much further they've fallen down that hate-filled rabbit hole. My sister (perhaps rightly) says that we shouldn't necessarily condemn them for the junk they post on social media, but their actual actions. That said, they supported the 1 million march for children this year.

Now, my AMAB child has expressed a desire to be they/them. They have made this remark several times over the past few years and while they're not insistent yet, given the consistency it seems to be thing they want.

Now I'm at a bit of a loss. On the one hand, I don't actually believe that my parents are as hate-filled as they might appear on social media, and that their intentions in supporting the 1 million march for children were benign inasmuch as they believe the "won't someone please think of the children" rhetoric without looking deeper into the impacts because they simply don't know anyone impacted. I think they've simply fallen down the rabbit hole and are blaming their lot in life on "them," while not really realizing what they're doing or saying. On the other hand, "when someone tells you who they are, believe them."

Similarly, given their care in creating a memorable and fun holiday last year, I have reason (perhaps naive) to believe they'd do the same this year. On the other hand, I don't want to risk exposing my children--especially the one with different pronouns--to their potential thoughtless and hateful remarks. This is now especially relevant because if it happens, they're going to get an earful. I won't let it stand this time. I have actually said, out loud, several times, that I don't trust them to respect boundaries around my children and I don't want my children exposed to their shit.

I feel I have a choice.

1. Call my dad, tell him his grandchild is now they/them, gauge their reaction and decide from there.
2. Go to the holiday event trusting that nothing will happen, but ready to fight for my child.

I'd welcome any thoughts.

I don't know if this is the right place to ask this question, but

I'm a 14 year old boy (or a man, if we talk about puberty), but from these past years, I have experienced something, but I don't know how to explain it properly.

background info: I have started working out only this summer, like june, but haven't gotten any big big progress, And I also don't do any sports, but I like running, and I don't go to anything like karate or boxing

so like 3 years ago I transferred to a new school, but from there on out I started noticing that all of the boys in my class distance from me, and half of them "disrespect" (not necessarily bully, but more like if they see the chance, they will) me, like an example, no one ever listens to me if I have anything to say (like my side of the story, if they told theirs), and everyone constantly doesn't really care what I'll do so sometimes, if i do something that they don't like, they punch me (or a slap), I usually want to slap back but idk somethings holding me, like i should forgive them. I usually forgive people very quickly if they do something bad. they also usually call me words (when in casual conversations, like "dumbass" "idiot" "gay") (i sometimes do so to, but i again feel hesitant). no one really cares whether something back will happen to them when they disrespect me, this also happens with one girl who really thinks she is some sort of a boss, but that's out of the picture here.

one thing that i also noticed is that during breaks inbetween classes, i always sit in class alone on my phone, because I have no one to really talk to, and during P.E. classes I always get picked last (or never), and if i do get picked everyone else sighs and gets angry. the same happens during class projects or tasks which require cooperation, no one ever picks me and i can never pick anyone since they have picked someone else already.

I have really good hygene (daily showers, every other day I wash my hair), I exercise 4 times a week, and i do kung-fu with youtube lessons. i also excel at computer science and english classes, but no one ever asks me for help OR homework.

so my main question is, what do i do to change this? i feel like if i punch them back they'll punch even harder, and i feel like i'm a pretty interesting person. I currently have only 2 real life friends, who live in another city, so most of my spare time i spend in my room

Hi everyone,

I’ve spent a lot of time exploring ways to create meaningful moments with family, inspired by conversations with dads and time spent trying things out with my own family. One thing I’ve learned is that connection doesn’t have to be about elaborate plans or expensive outings—it’s often the simple, creative ideas that leave the biggest impact.

Here’s a snapshot of one of my favorite activities for younger children:

Sticker Storyboards: Gather some large sheets of paper, a variety of stickers (animals, characters, objects), and crayons or markers. Together with your child, create a scene or story—maybe a zoo, a space adventure, or a magical forest. Let them lead the way, placing stickers and inventing characters and plot twists as you guide them with questions and prompts like, “What is the bear saying to the frog?” or “And then, a mysterious knight appeared! What do you think he’s here for?” Add speech bubbles, surprises, or challenges to keep the story alive. By the end, you’ll have a unique storyboard that’s as much about bonding as it is about creativity!

I compiled a collection of activities like this into a book to help dads (or anyone, really) strengthen their relationships with kids of all ages in their lives—whether that’s their own children, nieces and nephews, or younger siblings. These ideas go beyond “keeping the kids busy”—they’re about connecting, learning together, and having a laugh along the way. Each activity in the book is presented with detailed instructions, helpful tips, and creative variations to make it easy and fun to use. To celebrate the book’s launch, I’ve made the eBook free on Barnes & Noble and Kobo through November 28th. It’s $0.99 on Amazon during this time as they require exclusivity for free listings, but I wanted to ensure everyone has access. I’d love for you to grab a copy if you’re interested.

If even one of these ideas makes you smile or sparks a new memory with your child, then I’ll feel like I’ve done my job. (And if you’ve got your own go-to dad-and-kid activity, drop it below! I’d love to hear how you’re making magic moments with your kids.)

Thanks for reading and letting me share—I hope this post inspires you to try something new with your little ones today!

Hey bros, we have noticed a lot of relationship related posts. We are not a relationship advice subreddit, but we recognise how that type of advice may be helpful. Please keep relationship posting in this pinned thread.

I feel like Hollywood are pretty stuck in a few common (and not so great) stereotypes / tropes, even characters that are portrayed as uber good wholesome dudes are often solving problems with guns/fists and ridiculously ripped etc., even if they are fighting a good fight they are often channelling anger/aggression to solve things... I realise "people talk it out like adults" doesn't make a blockbuster movie but there's still limits.

So - can you share some actually good dudes / characters from screen big or small?

I'm actually finding it hard to think of examples but by way of a kick-start I'll say Gomez Addams is a total bro.

My brother's. I've decided it's about time to finally pull the trigger on getting a vasectomy. We have no kids and want it to stay that way. However the local urologist is out of his damned mind if they think I'm going to shell out $16,000 yes sixteen THOUSAND dollars. Meanwhile the planned parenthood 3 hours away wants 750 out the door. I'm not really sure the point of my post here other than sixteen thousand fucking dollars is lunacy. Anyway those of you who've had it done what all was it like? Good bad and otherwise and after all said and done how are you now? Rock and stone brothers

As the title suggests, I spent seven years initiating talks with people to try and connect with them. It has not yielded me a close friendship. If I were to completely stop talking to people, the connection would immediately end. As a reuslt, I don't have anyone who calls me, talks to me, or even says hi. I have not been invited to anything in a long time.

I want to change that but I don't quite know how to do so. Please advise.

For context, I did not have good role models growing up. The women in my family tend to be petty, unfaithful, and are more often than not outright abusive towards other members of the family. The women I've dated haven't been much better. Which is NOT to say that I'm perfect, I recognize that I'm a flawed individual like anyone else (obviously, hence this post)

I've had women acquaintances and platonic friends who were perfectly fine, and in my head I understand that there aren't really any fundamental differences between men and women that would make one inherently better than the other, but I still have to catch myself and not just dismiss the opinions women have or view things women like with disdain. How does one go about overriding personal experience with theory?

TLDR: Straight 20M feeling insecure because of lack of relationships, perceptions of being gay when he’s not, and consistency of being friendzoned.

Context - 20 year old straight man, sophomore at my university. Most (not all though) of my friends are girls. I enjoy being friends with them, and don’t have legitimate romantic interests in any of them. However, I’ve struggled with feeling insecure around relationships, and feeling “destined to only be the guy best friend.” My last relationship was two years ago, and only happened because right place/right time. I’m a virgin (while I’m not a hookup guy, I’ve also never had offers to reject).

I’ve had multiple comments over time from my friends about them being disgusted by the thought of anything romantic with me, comments like “EWW”, “the thought of that, etc”. Like, I’m not interested in any of them specifically, but it makes me feel like women generally just are reviled by the thought of being with me romantically, and can only see me as a “gay best friend” (like the guy you would never think of being with, and if she has a BF, going “oh him? that’s mark, I’d never be with him). As a straight guy. I’m fully supportive of being gay, and would have no issues if I was actually gay. My only issue is feeling that people assume im gay because they assume I’m less of a man, and not someone to be interested in, where the only people I get hit on by these days are men.

I ’ve also (relatedly) struggled with insecurity around being a skinny guy. Other comments at times have been about this, like jokingly referring to me as a twink, that have reinforced for me feeling insecure around my image, and that girls won’t ever see me in a romantic way because of that.

I’m not a red pill guy at all. I’m not going to go “to hell with women be an alpha”. I value my friendships and look forward to keeping them, I’m just looking for advice on how to not feel like I’m less of a man and address body image insecurities and relationship insecurities.

I'm a cis white woman and I'm just here to say thank you all for such a positive sub. With what happened in the news recently and so many men feeling entitled to women's bodies and rampant rise in misogyny it's a pleasure that there's still a space where men can come together to be good people and improve upon themselves. I'm definitely seeing a lot of you guys were raised on Mr. Rogers and other positive role models. Especially since you guys are talking about things like therapy and calling out bad behavior. Thank you for setting good examples for other men and of course listening to women. Thank you all.

Morning fellow bros

I'm a new lurker here so bear with me making my first post here, but here goes:

Some of you might relate but my struggles are often related to either starting a conversation or partaking in a conversation due to these inner filters and/or low self-confidence that constantly filters out what I want to say or would like to say because I automatically tend to "flag" the potential thing I'm about to say as "nah, this is not relevant" (although it might be) or "nah, this is not interesting" (although it might be). I guess I can say it's a sort of anxiety issue as I feel that whatever I might say (regardless of how idiotic the thing the other person is saying) will make the other person, I don't know, think less of me.

The biggest issue where this happens is with my spouse, as me being sort of locked in that sense often creates rift between us in an otherwise perfect marriage. Mostly related to me not communicating properly, whether it's something mundane or something that's very important to communicate

Any advice on how to loosen up in this sense?

Hello, trans guy here. My friend and I recently had a convo that left me pretty mortified. I told him I checked out a girl's outfit and he said that doing that isn't appropriate. Now, I wouldn't know any better, I was raised as a woman and I've never been given any flack for looking at people. Does this actually make people uncomfortable? I'm not like staring at them or anything, I just sometimes cross paths with someone and I'm like "wow, I want shoes like that" or "that sweater really suits them!". I've been getting gendered as a guy more and more recently, so I'd like to know - I don't want to cause people any discomfort.

In any sort of self improvement, whether it’s the gym, school, career, etc., there will be times when you plateau or regress. This is inevitable. Be kinder on yourself when this happens. Say to yourself that yeah, I fell short for now, but I’ll continue to move forward with the lessons I’ve learned from this experience.

I'm having a real bad year coupled with bad health and I had to withdraw from therapy due to lack of finances and I don't feel well generally.

I am on social media a bit ( and i am trying to reduce this ).

Pretty much all the Women feminist content creators have been the most useful people ever!! They are consistent with their content and call out BS from all genders. I'm looking at parenting content and I'm learning so much about the mental load (I'm not even a parent or even in a relationship), it's genuinely fun learning .

With regards to the Male feminist/content creators, all their material/content just seems to crap on Men. 'Men are this, Men are that, Men are reresponsible for xyz'. Not once will they critique any heinous thing a woman has done . I don't get why they are pandering and why people from my own gender are so unhelpful and useless.

I know someone will recommend 'xyz' male creator but the reality of it is that 'xyz' creator, 99% of their content will just be male bashing, so please don't.

Why is this important to have male role models on social media ? Because Men need to empower Men too. It's literally one of the reasons why the Manosphere is so successful, in that the red pill 'falsely/temporarily' empowers Men in the twisted sense.

This is a rant or a call for help, i don't know at the moment .

Doesn't seem like there any Male versions of Liz Plank online. I'm out, have a nice Xmas or non denominational holiday.

Hey bros! It's time for your weekly vibe check. How are you doing? Anything you're struggling with? Do you need advice, or would you like to share an achievement with us?

I just read this article on substack about why some women are attracted to Tony Soprano. I thought it an interesting take, promoting a confidence and competence for its own sake rather than a confidence for the purpose of attracting women. Also promoting a genuine care for women, though at some points that care seemed to be more correlated with outdated and arbitrary chivalry (holding door open, taking a coat, etc.) I also thought it was a bit dismissing of the role that power and aggression plays in the attraction for some of this female subset (as mentioned in some of the comments). What do you think?

I’m a dude, (40) hes a dude (around 30). We work computer stuff together. I’ve been finding that I need him to modify his approach to troubleshooting and resolving systematic issues to best serve a large environment. I don’t want to wait for folks to complain, I want them to have kick ass computer experiences! We seem to have reached an impasse, or what feels like a dick swinging contest where I am asking for a new approach to be taken, and he doesn’t see the purpose, and falls back on ‘all his experience’. Ultimately, this is eroding my trust in him and the system, because I can’t get the ‘receipts’ that the thing is configured properly. He does not report to me, but I have a more senior position and hold the responsibility for the system in question. We report to the same boss, and I’ve been soliciting advice from the boss as well.

I generally like this guy, and think that he has lots of unique experience, but he doesn’t seem to be hearing the things that I’m saying or asking of him, and it has gotten to the point that I don’t think we are working effectively together.

I’m feeling really frustrated and down about the state of things, and I normally try to approach things with compassion and without blame, but I’m finding myself having a hard time sticking to that line, and preventing myself from telling this bro to bugger off.

Any advice or encouragement?

I’m straight cis woman coming over from 2X with a question that I thought this sub could help me think through.

Curious about what is the pro-social function of ball-busting/teasing/trash-talking. Oftentimes it seems like it veers quickly into homophobic/racist/sexist territory, which has obvious downsides.

But what, if any, are the upsides? Is it a way to test the emotional reactivity of people you might be in a high stress situation with? To know who you can trust to stay cool/clear-headed? Or is it really just hierarchy enforcing?

I’m trying to understand why it seems to be so socially important for working class men in particular to do this. If you assume that they are not racist/sexist/homophobic, then what are they doing?

I am 21 and in college, and for most of my preteen to adult life i have had mainly friendships with women and trans people, due to having been trans or nonbinary myself in flux through most of my life; however, recently i have come to identify more with masculinity after many years. I have been feeling the desire to reconnect with men again, having not done so mainly due to growing up in a very culturally bigoted area where being someone who was always kind of effeminate but has a dick resulted in intense hostility from a lot of the other men in my life. Any tips on how to find supportive guys to make friendships with would be much appreciated. I really want to reconnect with that side of me which I have suppressed a lot until recently due to my upbringing.

Bros, I am in High-School rn. In the past few years, due to the influence of social media, I had come to dislike feminism in foreign countries like America. The me back then was easily influenced by the rage infused content that the algorithm was feeding me, making me feel rage at everyone who didn't think the way I think. I became aware of this cancerous growth only last year.

That year, my feed on YouTube Shorts started being filled with things against Feminism in my own country. I always believed and still believe that my country, India, desperately needs to support woman. I think this because we are daily made to pledge that "All Indians are my brothers and sisters", yet my notifications are daily filled with news about some sexual assault case. I strictly abhor the idea of sexual assault due to my own past, and whenever I read those articles, my blood boils. So imagine my shock when videos about why feminism is bad for India started popping up on my feed. I ignored them and skipped them at first and later started to click on that "Do not recommend" button.

From then on, I started to doubt my own views. But I had ignored most of the things back then. I was more focused on some other stuff (studying, reading and writing).

However I had made a Reddit account this year, on the request of a friend who wanted me to be a Mod on his SubReddit(On a side note, that plan failed). I got curious and one day searched "Feminism" on here. I saw the subreddit and for some reason the first thought that came to mind was, "Hope they aren't crazy". I read some posts at that time, and my view of them had soured that day for reasons I don't remember. Then I had searched for "Men", hoping to see a place where there were discussions regarding men's issues. The first subreddit I saw was "MensRights". I was of course happy to see that. I opened it and read some posts(iirc, they were news discussions) and they resonated with me. I actually got more educated on problems that specifically man face.

There were also posts thrashing "feminists" and I got to read many people's experience with their subreddit. They all described it as bad and I believed them and my hate and disdain grew.

This month has been revealing however. I have experienced some first hand things and have had time to contemplate certain matters that made me question my beliefs. I joined the Feminism subreddit few days ago. I started actually reading what they have to say. At first, there was this tightening in my heart when I read their posts. I felt attacked when reading them, but I pushed forward regardless. I am grateful that I did so for I got learn many things. I learned that many things that I believed about them were actually false (especially after reading Wikipedia articles). I actually discovered this haven from a post there!

Of course I also encountered people with wrong opinions(On both sides). For example, one was about all nerd spaces being super sexist(I can look past the gaming section, but I do believe most nerd spaces are improving and are having more and more diversity).

All of that was for context to my actual question(and me lightening my own conscience by making this confession of my past):

I feel scared to comment on there. Idk why but I really find it hard to muster courage for that. I want to engage in discussions there but I feel like I would be judged unfairly. Like I wanted to comment under that person and try to explain to them that most nerd spaces are super chill and only some of them are gatekeeping their doors. But I felt like I would be seen as an asshole for replying. Especially so because the reply had many upvotes. What can I do to lessen this fear? Actually what can I do to improve altogether? I would really appreciate advice from my fellow bros on this point.

Thanks for reading my long essay lol

TL;DR: I used to dislike feminism due to rage-inducing content but realized I was being influenced by algorithms. I’ve started learning more about both men's and women's issues, which changed some of my views. I joined the feminism subreddit but feel scared to comment because I fear judgment. Looking for advice on how to overcome this fear and improve in discussions.

Hello bros.

Quick note to mods: I don't believe this is a doompost or vent - trying to be constructive here although I am feeling the feels.

My son W is in a high performing soccer team, playing Under 8's. He is seven, so he is playing effectively a year up. It's a competitive division but the team have some rock-star players so they have been doing very well. W is one of the weaker players on the team, he tries hard but is not necessarily naturally gifted at soccer and doesn't have a huge competitive drive. He likes the social aspects and enjoys the comradery of a team.

The way the division is structured the top two teams progress into the finals. Our coach, a person I until recently considered a close friend J, is highly competitive and recently I have noticed a switch. He made a statement that he would be optimising who was on the field and the team in order to maximise the chances of reaching the finals which I didn't think much of at the time.

When we attended the games we found that W was not being subbed on at all. Literally just sitting on the sidelines, staying warm and asking the coach when he was going on. In a 30 minute game, he was being subbed on for six minutes total and only at times when the team had already won the game.

I confronted the coach over this and I found out this was a deliberate strategy. When the coach spoke of optimising the players on the field this is what he meant - my son was effectively dropped from the team for not being strong enough. Worse, my wife and I were not informed, so we were preparing him for games he was never going to play in.

It absolutely broke my heart to see my son on the sidelines warming up for games he was a token participant in. I feel like I have failed him as a father. It made me feel helpless and brought back feelings of being bullied and excluded from sport as a kid. It reminded me just how cruel the world can be, and that what my son experiences I will experience along with him.

I'm trying to move ahead positively and treat this as both a learning experience for me personally and for my son. I understand competitive sports brings out the best and worst in people, and this is what we signed up for. But wow - at seven years old and excluding kids based on your personal ego and a desire to win a trophy?

I would love to hear others experiences in sport or in learning to be a dad, or anything else that comes to mind. Any insights/stories/sharing is helpful.

Thanks bros - appreciate this community

I'm ASD1, if that helps

I often see that I get at least a lil irritated when things don't go my way.

But sometimes I get mad and scream at stuff and even engage in arguments too fiercely cuz I feel I tunnel vision in the argument and either I can't ground myself or subconsciously seems not worth it.

It gives me this weird sensation that I'm wrong again and never had been right in my life, although I rationally know it's a hoax.

Sometimes I continue in the argument before I can even realize that "holy fuck, stop, u're angry as fuck"

I'm just too angry to think of that mid argument

Anyone knows how to control anger? Like, I feel I can weaken and even destroy (all types of) relationships (specially romantic lol) if I don't fix that, so I'd like to hear some tips to self improve on that. And also leave references for others? Thx

Hey bros, we have noticed a lot of relationship related posts. We are not a relationship advice subreddit, but we recognise how that type of advice may be helpful. Please keep relationship posting in this pinned thread.