Rules

My therapist asked me this a while ago and I don’t know about highs because I’m always low and only get lower and lower. Meaning I rarely get highs? But I feel like I do get the highs but thinking I almost think maybe my highs are just being a normal human being. But I can always feel myself sinking from my highs to my lows . I hope this makes sense

I hate mania so much. I'm so paranoid. I left my shower with dye still in my hair because I was anxious about a murderer being outside my shower curtain (didn't hear or see anything, it was just a ✨feeling ✨). I left the gym because I was convinced I was being watched. I'm so anxious and paranoid and restless. Anything will irritate me because I'm overstimulated most of the time. I don't have manic episodes often but boy when I do, I hate it.

Hi I'm 20 year old male who just recently got diagnosed with bipolar 2 and BPD. Starting meds soon. Was wondering what advice you would have for someone who was recently diagnosed.

As someone who forgot to take his evening meds it’s like ….

I’m tied up and rotating on a turntable that’s playing Blink-182’s First Date. 🎶Forever and ever…. Let’s make this last forever… 🎶

Got the meds in… sweet relief….

I find it that maybe having a relationship maybe the hardest thing about bipolar. One minute I want to be in a romantic relationship but then I feel myself slowly coming out of trying and stopping all contact. It’s sucks because as a 32 year old about to be 33 this year. I feel like my life is slipping. When I’m not down, no energy and want to stay isolated, I feel the urge to find someone. But when it’s the other way I don’t want to even try.

It's 8 am here, I have lessons at uni in 4 hours. I have to take a shower, have breakfast at least of some form, but I just started actually working on my projects... I've been playing stupid games through whole night. Oh and I forgot to take my meds because I usually take them before going to sleep, but I didn't sleep so it's time for morning pills already. My eyes are aching but I just can't separate them from the screen. Anyway, shower, then sleep for a couple hours, and then go to uni, arrive at half past first lesson. Oh, and get something to eat. Maybe. Alright anyway I have to go, share how was your day or night, I'll probably read them next evening

29m. Alright, this one is a big question, but how do you mourn the life you had/could have had while bipolar? I have a "Big Career," I've just got on new meds, and while they're slowing my mania down and making me calmer, I have a lot to learn and mourn.

I had always focused on getting Big Career because I felt like it was going to be stable (tell that to my bipolar disorder now), and I feel like I missed out on developing relationships. I'd like to develop more relationships and circle back up with friends from my past. I want to share my life with someone. A lot of my concerns are around people because beforehand, I either felt too good for them or not good enough.

Long story short, I wish I would be turning 20 instead of 30 next year and I'm mourning that a bit. I just don't know where to start.

For those of you going through it, you're not alone and I empathize.

i have been on my antipsychotic for almost two years now and i’ve only recently come to realize how much it has ruined my life. i need to quit it but i can’t get another psychiatrist appointment for weeks, how should i go about stopping it? and what should i look out for?

I was recently diagnosed with bipolar, I have to take a certain amount of meds (200 in total maybe) and I’m in the third week so that means that I’m taking 75

so with that being said, I’m still learning about this condition, so I haven’t been able to recognise all of the symptoms, but I am fighting with anger and that stuff that comes with hypomania, so I was wondering if it was normal and if it should stop while I take more amount of meds

ps: sorry for my english

Today my psychiatrist diagnosed me with mild bipolar depression. In the past, I have only recognised depression when I was debilitated. But my psych said bipolar depression exists on a spectrum and mine is just mild right now. He’s suggested light therapy since I was hesitant to try prozac (all of my bipolar meds are remaining the same). Does anyone have tips on how to cope with mild bipolar depression so that it doesn’t get worse? My psych said my quality of life isn’t very high if all I’m doing is sleeping 11+ hrs a day and working all my waking hours, and I can’t help but to agree but it sure is nice to lay in a warm bed all f’ing day. Soooo tips on motivation? Etc

I did a lot of negative things before getting diagnosed (it’s still tentative but it explains a lot) and I’m being treated as a bipolar 1 case. My ex is trying to get into my head and it’s beginning to work, I cheated on my partner without realizing it because I’m poly, and was experimenting and can see it for what it was, cheating. But I tried so hard to be a good person and was taking on so much responsibility and should have taken a step back in retrospect, and now all of a sudden they’re using all the things I ever used to help me against me which I can understand, but it’s so challenging to navigate a breakup on top of a diagnosis and try and recover and as someone whose new to this I would love some input from others on good ways to handle it and to forgive yourself for what mania and psychosis can do. This person has tried to make me question my own memory and my own moral compass and it’s become really difficult as I am being painted as a bad guy and I can get it but they were always so kind to me and even were trying to keep me safe and regulated when everything happened, I couldn’t see it at the time I needed help and they tried to help me by harming me more (trying to keep me out of hospital). I’ve quit ever drug other than nicotine and am trying to appropriately feed myself and take all the right steps and am on an antipsychotic that’s made a tremendous difference but they fed into my delusions so badly I almost bought it and I feel betrayed in such a profound way.

Hi! I’m really struggling these days. I ruined my life over a year ago in a manic episode and can’t get back on my feet. I am honestly just looking for some guidance from someone who has been through it and managing it better than I am.

How do you cope with feeling alone in the bipolar journey. I know no one else with the disorder and it’s very isolating going through the suicidal thoughts and episodes and feeling like no one understands.

My last manic episode was triggered (in part) by Jan 6. I’m scared that it is going to happen again with all of the DOGE chaos. What do you do if your triggers are active? Trying to stay cam and centered and get good sleep. Mostly seeking commiseration.

anyone experience frequent crying when inconsistent w/ meds?

hi (: so i'm diagnosed type 1 with psychotic features since frebruary 2020.

i'll admit these past few months i've been in a depressive episode fluctuating between mild and severe. because of this, i've started to become inconsistent with my mood stabilizer. lately, i've found myself being easily triggered into sobbing uncontrollably by seemingly insignificant events.

for example, i was messing around with my boyfriend last night playing with a soccer ball in the living room. i played for eight years and was really good at it. it was my passion. because of covid, my senior season got cut short and i haven't played on a team since. during our unserious 1v1 defensive situation, he ended up "megging" me (kicking the ball between my legs, iykyk) and started laughing about how he was finally able to do it to me.

at first it was funny but then i increasingly became emotional. i started quickly withdrawing, sat down on the couch and when he asked what was wrong, i just started sobbing. i don't know why but the whole thing just caused so much pain. i told him how what happened reminded me of how rusty i am with the sport and how it was such a huge part of my identity. it was something that gave me a leg-up in the high school social scene as an "overweight" girl. i always thought people wouldn't view me as the associated stereotype (i.e. lazy, unfit, etc.) because i was an athlete. and now since i don't do it anymore and i've gained weight for other reasons, i'm just reduced to being defined by my weight.

he apologized profusely about "taking the joke to far" and promising not to do it anymore. but i kept telling him how i didn't know why i was crying and it had nothing to do with him.

stuff like this has been going on for the past few weeks and i don't know why. can anyone relate?

Do you guys omit truth for you psychiatrists? I usually lie about not doing weed or drinking, I'm mostly sober and they always give me shit if I do anything weed at all. Also sometimes I have hypomanic or depressive episodes and they can get bad, but If I'm not ruining my sleep, or life or trying to kill myself I usually don't say anything. I usually use positive coping mechanisms and get through it fine. I usually tell them I am "fine" and "doing good". Which overall I am despite the challenges, I just learned to become more resilient and build up strength. I have been out of the hospital for a little over a year, I went a few times "just in case" (my psychiatrist sent me there when I visited) but I haven't gone inpatient in over 2 years (since my last attempt). I think overall I am doing good and I take my meds as prescribed.

Bp1 here. was stable for several months(unmedicated, back on meds now) then had a mixed episode go on for several weeks that involved 1 er visit. I did all kinds of wild stuff I wouldn’t normally do and almost RIP’d myself at one point. Now that im feeling more stable im like WHAT WAS THAT!?! I don’t even want to rip myself. Or the manic things I planned and did ouhhhh my gawwd 🤦‍♀️. Like I have a good life honestly. but there was a day during this episode stuff got real real bad. It’s almost kinda traumatic!? Stuff like this doesn’t even cross stable me’s mind. It’s scary looking back how fast things can turn and take over and im no longer acting like myself. Anybody else empathize with what I mean? Like WOAH 😳

I have been pretty stable for a while now but these last few days I’m starting to notice I have a lot more energy and restlessness and like I’m talking really loudly again and starting to impulsively buy things. Last time I got manic I would have flights of ideas around dance and would feel insanely creative, and I’m starting to feel a little like this again where I want to stay up and choreograph dances. I haven’t actually done that yet and I’m still sleeping but I do wonder if something could be brewing. I haven’t stopped taking my meds. Is it possible that this could be turning into something, or am I just having a good few days?

Exactly what the title says.

I am just sick for crying and tell them my anxiety and feeling like everyone hated me caused me to not get sleep. Today they wanted me to promise I wanted to be there. I told them I need to take medical leave. I have an appointment with my Dr Thursday.

How do you move past replaying how you messed up over and over and over again?

I loved my career… now it’s over.

M 23 I have been stable for a while but past few weeks I’ve been obsessing with aquariums spending all my money on fish plants and tanks and staying up most nights researching about it all I’m actually kinda concerned this obsession came out of nowhere I think I feel normal I have heaps of energy and racing thoughts but I can function what do you all think am I going crazy or is it normal to obsess of all different things to the extreme

My therapist recently told me that I gotta stop listening to so many mental health podcasts because it leads to a lot of obsessions and rumination. So I’ve started listening to affirmation videos for anxiety instead and lowkey I’ve found it really helpful. It’s grounding and I no longer choose to think random things because I’m so focused on following the affirmations. I even picture the words in my head to really get in there. I just started listening to them but very curious to see what will happen if I continue to listen. Was wondering if anyone else has experience with affirmations.

are you guys experiencing severe existentialism when you are either baseline or in a depressive episode or is this just a personal trait of mine? if so, how do you cope?

Im feeling really depressed, paranoid, and run down. Just the thought of my one life being a painful rollercoaster until i die is just beyond devastating. Its unfair and cruel. I just want to be happy and have rational thoughts. Im distrustful of the people in and out of my life. I am forming inaccurate thoughts of people i love dearly and its causing me to feel differently about them. My paranoid thoughts make me really anxious. My self esteem is really low. And i feel like i cant talk to ANYONE. No one truly understands and I am embarrassed of a lot of my thoughts. Even when i vent to people about regular life shit they always play devils advocate which is just so exhausting. I just hate this life sometimes and i could just really use some advice or words of encouragement.

8 (M22) posted in here about how I stopped my previous meds cold turkey in November and December 1st-31st I was manic as heck.

Didn’t know it at the time, but I was, spending money, acting insane, fast talking, like I was speedy Gonzales. Hyper sexuality.

Went on a new med and it worked up until last week. but idk what happened but it started on Thursday-ish, I got paid a huge lump sum, and I paid my bills and immediately after that I was excited. I haven’t had a job in a month, and I was beyond happy.

Well the spending started. Luckily I still have money cuz I’m using those like “Pay in 4” apps. And have over 700 bucks, but like that was a big indicator. I was hyper sexual again, mainly scrolling for like 5 hours on Friday night through adult content, and then I almost met a woman I didn’t even know. Luckily had my gut instinct to turn around halfway there. That was Saturday.

Yesterday, Sunday, I pretty much spent the whole day in bed, as I’ve also been sick with the flu for awhile. And I made the decision to start an ADHD med yesterday too, so that kept me up for like 12 hours.

I literally just like “came back to reality” an hour ago. I’m now in bed typing this and I feel like I crashed. Tired, bored, and just regretting my purchases…

Is it even possible to be manic while on meds? I’m assuming yes, and it must be the meds that had helped it not turn into full fledged mania.

Any advice for remembering to take meds? Any app you recommend I struggled to remember in the morning. At night I remember a little more cause I’ll never forget my sleep meds. I’ve tried putting them right on the bathroom counter or right by the fridge. And nothing seems to be helping.

Also, does anyone know how to find a bipolar support group? I would love something I could go to weekly. So far it seems everything is virtual. I don’t know I just think relating to other people helps. I’m so thankful for this group.

long story short, my therapist (who turns out to be a psychologist) recommended i take yesterday and today off, i didnt work yesterday and i dont work today. im ok taking the financial loss as i became so depressed i self harmed and wanted to die (me forgetting my meds for 2 weeks doesnt help)

my mum asked me why i wasnt at work yesterday or why im not working today and i answered truthfully and she said im lucky if im not fired soon, i never take time off unless im dying, and my manager knows whats going on and i found a cover,

it was recommended that i take the time off due to burnout, im neurodivergant and only work 3 to 4 times a week which aparently isnt acceptable and i work fast food, i feel like im a lazy sack of shit for not being a perfect 9-5 5 days a week person i work nights too

I have constant suicidal thoughts. Mostly just “I want to kill myself” but also vivid images/thoughts e.g. thinking about stepping out in front of a car/crashing my car. I don’t think I want to do it but the thoughts are always there and they range from terrifying to just exhausting. How do you cope?

What started as that familiar buzz, sharp thoughts, energy and great ideas, I think it’s spiraled to somewhere beyond my control.

Started back at work after Christmas and, finally, I had my brain back. I was sharp and firing on all cylinders, creative (90% of my work relies on that). But things have twisted and now I’m worried that the toe dip into hypo is a one way ticket to hospital.

Everyone at the office is twisting my IP and my designs for their own personal gain. I designed a couple of prototypes for shooting natural history documentaries (I’m not under employee contract, and I built these on my own time and dime), and now the company are pitching replica concepts to an R&D tech company. The owners are just straight up ripping me off and, even though they deny it, I know they are devising a whole narrative behind my back. I confronted one of them yesterday who swore up and down that the conversations I overheard never happened. Which set off an overwhelming realisation that they’ve been watching me this whole time. Under scrutiny, picking the eyeballs out of anything useful outside of my directing and editing work, to squeeze me for every last drop of worth.

There is a woman I work with at the office, we’ve become good friends over the years, but now she feels like an enemy in the camp. She’s become a lightening rod for my position on this, in fact a lot of my feelings towards her are really clouded and confused. It’s almost an obsession. I’m texting her all night, ranting. And because she knows my diagnosis (it was very public and it ended in hospital), I swear she’s manipulating me as a result. But I’m still drawn to her.

The whole team are watching and bickering behind my back. It like everywhere in the office, I know they’re watching on the security cameras or fucking whispering. I feel like I’m going to blow this shit up. I don’t think I can trust myself. I don’t know if this is me. And if it’s not, I have no idea how to pump the brakes.

I was such a fitness freak for so long since the end of my freshman year of high school. I had been overweight and I hated myself enough to lose the weight and start lifting. I wasn’t good at it for a long time, but it was so much fun learning all the little nuances to what I now know today. It was always fueled by a hatred for how I looked, but it also gave me something to love.

I got to looking decent in terms of muscle and body fat. I was healthy. Ever since this past August when I started going downhill though I seemed less inclined to do it. I still loved it, but in December I fell face first into an episode and wasn’t able to do anything physical to save my energy and body state while I was abusing it being awake for multiple days, throwing up, etc.

Now it’s February, I got my diagnosis and got on meds. Now I just feel exhausted all the time. I go to sleep at night with a plan and then wake up with the most exhausted feeling in the world. I just have zero drive to go to the gym and lift, which makes me really sad because I love lifting. I can barelY get myself there once a week which is better than nothing, but I’d prefer 3x full body per week. I can get myself to go on walks easier but it’s still a challenge. It’s making me hate myself and how I look. It blows :/ I wish I had my drive back.

Has anyone else experienced it? I am wracked with guilt over losing it within earshot of our toddler the other day. She was throwing a tantrum which happens every morning and I typically tune out. My partner and I were both taking turns soothing her, and my fear over the birth of our second child (problematic first birth) has been mounting alongside frustration over both our families being controlling and dictating all of our travel activities.

I ran into the other room and screamed “Just stop!” at the top of my lungs. Coincidentally, our daughter actually switched to a happy mood straight after this.

My mother screamed at me daily along with other abusive behavior, so I am glad I never have the urge to lose it at our daughter and hope my partner believes me that it wasn’t at her - it was at myself, for the constant negative thoughts and how utterly ungrateful this makes me. I take lamotrigine after being diagnosed with bipolar 2 tendencies due to thyroid disease.

Just feeling generally horrendous over this. Terrified of turning into my mother. Can anyone else relate?