/r/BetaReaders

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Connecting authors with betas and talking all things critique.

Looking for feedback on something you've written? Want to help an aspiring author polish their manuscript? Have a critique-related question? You're in the right place! Remember—no soliciting for money in the sub!

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Includes information for both authors and betas on how to get the most out of this sub, along with information about word count vs. page count, Reddit resources for writers, and more.

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Golden Rules of Beta Reading

Betas: When giving critiques, thou shalt be diplomatic. TL;DR - Assume the author knows what they're doing and that every choice is intentional, and frame your feedback as your opinion to avoid making objective claims.

Authors: When receiving critique, thou shalt not argue with the reader. TL;DR - Trying to explain yourself or "correct" the reader is fruitless and should be avoided: take the feedback, or don't. If a reader is being abusive, let the mods know.


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/r/BetaReaders

30,223 Subscribers

1

[Complete] [50k] [detective novel/satire] Major Development

Hi! I'm looking for any and all feedback on my Novel, first impressions, specific critiques, whatever suits your fancy. Looking for any and all reactions to it. :) Blurb: "Walter Chronkite; a hard boiled, metrosexual, libertarian, hipster, is a Journalism Major in his Junior year at Central Texas University. Walter is seriously gonna get to the bottom of the mystery laid before him, but can anyone take Walter as seriously as he takes himself? I seriously doubt it!"

click to read.

I have been editing this for months and it's at a point where I need feedback on the whole story to see if it's working like i think it is before trying to figure out some kind of publishing. I think this is a fun/funny read and would love to hear what you think. Looking to trade feedback! :)

1 Comment
2024/05/20
19:02 UTC

3

[In progress] [16.9k] [High-fantasy] First-time writer looking for feedback

Hi there. I have no idea how to go about this. This is my first time working on a proper novel. I would really appreciate any feedback.

This is the summary:

The problem child of a powerful duke, falls in love with a commoner. When he goes missing in war, she throws all caution to the air and goes looking for him, while trouble brews at home.

1 Comment
2024/05/20
14:47 UTC

1

[In Progress] [106k] [Murder Mystery] Death of Moira Barking

Heyyyy, so I aam just finished the second draft of my book and I wwould love some beta readers. It's Set in an alternate history post a third world war, it follows the story of Hamlet Rook, a 14-year-old boy living in Yorkshire, England. Born into an ancient and wealthy family, Hamlet's life takes a dramatic turn when he learns of the death of The Lady Moira Barking, mother to his classmate and childhood nemesis, Nicholas Barking. Lady Moira was also the wife of Lord Harry Barking, who, unbeknownst to Hamlet, had an affair with his own mother.

When Hamlet visits Lord Barking, he is given a letter to deliver to his mother, which contains warnings of a "traitor" and an "imposter" among them. To uncover the truth, Lady Rook decides to host a Christmas party, leading to further mysterious deaths and the return of an old friend from the past, complicating matters.

After the chaos of the party settles, Hamlet begins his education at a boarding school, attended by generations of his family, including his mother and late Aunt Dahlia. At the academy, Hamlet discovers Dahlia's diary, hinting at elements of magic and murder.

Here's the prolgue if you like it i can send the rest

Prologue

It had been a long day already. To start it off my roommate confessed to murdering his Nanny and then my best friend came along and blew my whole world open in the course of a single conversation.Both these rather shocking and inconvenient turns of events sent dozens of moments over the past few months and past few year tumbling and flapping through my mind. Moments once seemingly meaningless or innocuous have taken on new and almost sordid meaning. In a way, I almost feel incredibly stupid for not realising the truth sooner or perhaps Regina is right and I am simply naive.

It is a rainy, February night and I sit in my dorm room, staring at my laptop screen. Colin lies tossing lightly in his bed occasionally muttering or whispering in fits of sleep. Nicholas’ bed is stripped down to the mattress, his desk once pilled high with books is now empty. Outside the window the night dark sea spits against the rock, and the castle grounds are empty and still save the flutter of the flag on the northern tower.

I suppose everyone else must be asleep. I could try to sleep but all I would achieve would bee sleepless night of tossing turning as my thoughts storm and flutter around. It all started with Regina De Winter. I suppose if anyone should be the one to blow my world wide open in just a single conversation it would be her. She and I have always been telling each-other things. We'd confess to each other and no one else our deepest darkest secrets.

She told me when in nursery school she'd forgotten to close the cage and let out the class rabbit which resulted in our year being treated to the sight of a crow feasting on the beloved pet, she told me when she spiked the tea in the staff room with laxatives after a slew of particularly bad grades, and she told me when she caught Nick Montague cheating on her with Abernathy Heath, and together we had concocted what we had seen as a rather delicious plan of revenge.  I for my part had told when in year five James and I had shared clandestine kisses in the back of Miss Holyrood's class when everyone was gone, I had told her when I nicked of grand mum's rings and buried it in the garden after she'd chastened me, I did end up feeling guilty as a poor maid ended up getting fired.

Over the years the two of us have accumulated of sorts a cabinet of secrets, truths and lies that we shared only with each other. The secret she’d shared with me tonight goes fair deeper than youthful indiscretions and sinks into the realms of lies, sin and murder. She’d come up to that evening during dinner, and gave me a peck on the cheek and a delicate squeeze of my hand before walking away with Fiona and Polly off to Maiden’s Tower. The note she’d subtly tucked into my hand simply said, “Library 9:00. Bring no one.”

So, I had returned to my dorm room, did some homework and then did some reading all thewhile waiting for the clock to strike nine. Archie, Windsor, and Duffy had joined us for a movie and At 8;45 I couldn’t not the it anymore. I had closed that strange diary and left Colin and others rather boisterously watching Die hard in our dorm room. I had. explained myself to the prefect on duty climbing too have forgotten a textbook in the library and that it couldn’t wait till tomorrow because I had an essay due soon. And out I had stepped into the night.

The soft almost silvery mist had rolled in from the sea clinging to the grounds, fields and buildings. I walked down the lamp light pathway, a few people walked passed me their laughter and conversation caught in the breeze. I got to the library and slipped in. I went to our usual spot and waited. It was as silent as well as a library. The only other living thing other than the silverfish was Dottie the old library who sat behind her desk happily obvious too all comings and goings.

I checked my watch and it was 8:52. Regina was unlikely to be anything other than properly and perfectly punctual. And feeling restless I got up and paced around. And I found myself in the occult section. The books here as always were mostly untouched and sent little gasps of dust up into the air when disturbed. For the hundredth time I scanned the shelves reading the various curious titles.

Once I scoffed as these things as being mere superstition, efforts by the early man to explain away what he couldn’t explain. But it has been a rather long strange year even though it’s only febrruary.I remembered suddenly the walk I had taken with Baskerville on the morning before I had left for the academy. The whistling of the woods and the way Baskerville had reacted, barking into the trees and into the shadows. I remembered a wild rose on an empty grave. “There are more things in heaven and earth…”

Suddenly a hand grasped my shoulder and I whirled around wildly. Regina De Winter smiled, “My, my someone is tense” She had changed out of her school uniform into her night-clothes and her red hair lay across her shoulder in a thick braid. Regina De Winter is quite the most beautiful person I know; her hair is the colour of red maple in autumn, and her skin is the colour of Yorkshire snow and her eyes are the blue of summer skies. All in all she would not be out place in a pre-raphaelitte painting.

“You’re late,” I said rather sulkily. She merely smiled picking up my wrist and looking at my watch. 9:00 punctual as always.

“Now. Shall we?” She said briskly turning around and walking away. She Strolled casually over to our favourite spot where I had deposited my coat. She sank into her usual chair and smiled at me waiting for me to do thee same. When I was seated, she looked me a beat her ivy green eyes boring into me over steepled fingers. “So, darling, how much do you know about the death of Lady Barking?”

I stared at her for moment, “Well not a lot really..” She didn’t take her eyes of me and made a go on gesture. “Well. Just that she’s dead. And that it was rather sudden and unexpected. And the date I suppose,” I shrugged, “Everybody seems very unwilling to talk bout it. Which I suppose can be expected.”

“ And of course, it was ruled “unsuspicious.” Do you believe that?” She said, “A woman in her late thirties drops dead and its unsuspcious. As ancient as that seems women in their thirties tend not to drop dead out of the blue.”

Even though we were quite alone, I leaned close and whispered, “Are you saying she was murdered?”

Regina stared distractedly at her finger nails, “Well, Nicky certainly thinks so. And at the very least her death wasn’t down to natural causes.”

I watched as she removed a bottle of nail polish from her purse applied a delicate coat of pink to her nails. “Nicholas believe it to have been murder?”

After a moment she said, “Hamlet. Three guesses who Nicholas thinks killed his mother.” She didn’t wait for me to respond before she said, “His father and your mother.”

I stared at her, mouth agape. And before I could respond she spoke again, “Now, I now what you’re going to say. ‘But, Gina.They couldn’t have killed her, neither of them were in London that day!” She said in rather good imitation of my voice and saying what I was in fact gonna say. She began applying nail polish to her other hand, “And I would say that I think we can both agree. that people of their station do not have to deign to anything so pedestrian as to commit murder themselves.”

I stared at her, “So he thinks they paid someone to kill Lady Barking?” And she nodded, ‘Yes. But I do not think that to be true. And what’s more… I think that woman, Kitty Scarlet, dying at your mother’s christmas party is connected.” She set down her nail polish and tree me right in the eyes, “Now darling I am about to tell you something rather shocking.”

And so she did… when she was done I felt as though someone had taken my brain, powdered my thoughts ran them through a sieve and put them back in. After a moment, Regina smiled sympathetically, “I appreciate that you need a moment but the library closes soon and lights out at 10:30 and I do have something I need you to do.”

“Wonderful.” I said quietly, “So you don’t think.. either of them?”

“I find myself hard pressed to believe either of them would commit murders so figuratively and literally close to home. Especially not murders that would make them the most obvious suspects,” she said, “I do believe that someone is trying to frame them.”

“Oh”

She sighed, “Hamlet we appear to be reaching the part of the night where you become monoslylabic and so I shall tell you what indeed you to do. I want you to use that perfect, eidetic memory of yours and writean account of everything that has happened up to this conversation-”

“Everything? Ok regina that’s a lot but I shall be honest things get a little vague for me after Moses.”I said. And there was a moment of silence before she said, “Who!?”

“And I’ll be honest we haven’t gone that far back in history class and fall backing on our Sunday school experience-”

I would have gone on for quite a bit but she cut me off, “Hamlet would you just shut up and writethe damned- .”

“But where shall I begin.”

“Here’s an idea, darling,” she said deeply impatient and exhausted, “Start at The beginning ”

“Oh well we did read Paradise Lost in class with Drinkwater so I suppose-”

“Hamlet,” she saiid sharply, “You are very droll and very hilarious. But Ii am quite tired and so I shall leave you too mull over what where it all started for you.?” I had about to speak again when she said, “Well here’s where it gets worse.””

“Oh it’s worse” I sighed, “How can it get possibly worse?”

Regina kicked me under the table,“Well If you’d let me speak. I could tell you. Well do you remember what happened after the statue fell?” Regina spoke

“I can’t believe I have to say this but which time?” I said

“The second time,” she said sharply, “You know the incident that concerned you more closely? Well I wouldn’t have expected you to notice anything because you were to busy swooning into Jago Keyne’s arms-”

“I was not swooning-”

“And Colin was to busy sulking about…”

“What does that supposed to mean?”

“But, you see, because I actually pay attention.to my surroundings I did actually notice that something was amiss. “ She said rather heatedly. And I could tell that she wasn’t going to divulge what this mysterious thing was without a lot of me pleading and prodding.

“Oh, Regina,” I said trying to sound as sincere as possible, “Please tell me what you noticed. You are ever so intelligent, and unappreciated for your genius..”

“Ok, Darling.”

“And you are also so beautiful. So beautiful in fact as to make heaven jealous of earth.”

“DARLING.”

“And kind too. You put Mother Tereasa and Nurse Nightngale-:

“Hamlet, would you just shut up, you petulant prawn,” she said some how sounding both heated and still retaining her rather regal way of speaking. “Now anyway the thing I noticed was little stone that fell of the roof.”

“Oh I noticed that too actually, Regina.”

“No you did not.”

“Yes. I did it was rather large, shaped like a gargoyle and nearly took of my head.” I said and almost immediately regretted it. Regina spoke in a voice of forced cool, “Now, Hamlet sweetie, if you want me to finish what I was saying, I am going to need your to stop talking for just give minutes, ok?”

“Ok.”

“Well I wasn’t talking about the gargoyle. I was talking about a little pebble that fell after the gargoyle fell. Now what does that little falling pebble tell you,” She said and then after a moment of me not responding, she spoke again, “Well?”

“I thought you wanted me to stay quiet.”

“Well. Let’s just follow the heirs rule of you speaking when prompted. Now what does the falling pebble tell you,” she said. I shrugged, “Gosh. I don’t know, Regina. I assume the base of the statue was crumbling.”

“You see I thought that too. But then I realised that that pebble was made of a different material than the gargoyle. It looked like a piece of tile from the roof. Now what does that tell you,” she said and I sighed, “Regina, not that I am not greatly enjoying this guessing game, but can you please just make your point.”

“Fine, Rook. Well, that tells us that someone was on the roof. And that someone pushed the gargoyle onto you.”

“Yes.”

“And the incident at your polo practice? When you fell of your saddle? It wasn’t by accident…And the dead bird?”

“Yes”

“Oh, Hamlet,” she said, “Don’t you see? The killer is targeting you?”

“Oh.”

“Yes and I know think you know why.”

“What do you mean?”

“And I think it’s because you say something- he or she didn’t want you to see what you saw that night is probably something trivial, something inconspicuous. Something most people wouldn’t even notice,” she said, “But your mutant brain would have picked. Up on it, and stored it away. Now, I need you to do what I asked and let me read it on Monday.”

I nodded mutely. “Oh and Hamlet please leave out any descriptions of you and James kissing in dark hallways. I don’t think my stomach can take it,” she said we both laughed. After that the Librarian shooed us out and we both went back to our dorms. I got there just at 10 and the prefect tapped his watch shooting me a rather disappointed look. Colin was awake and we talked a lot about a little. I bathed, brushed and now here I sit.

The night is young and the events of the past several months were whirring fresh in my mind.So where to begin? I suppose the best place to begin would be when mother was at the academy or when I was born, but that’s bit beyond my patience much less my scope. I could begin on the night of the murder but which murder?But it seems that the first murder (if it was a murder) lead upto the second murder. So I suppose I should start with the first alleged murder.. But I wasn’t in the same room, or even county as the supposed murder when it happened. But I think I know where too start and it begins with all things a seemingly innocuous gift of flowers

1 Comment
2024/05/20
14:40 UTC

2

[Complete] [88k] [Action/Sci-Fi] Shonen-like action-adventure story.

Hello!

I've recently finished writing my passion project of about 90k words. I've spent 3+ years with different ideas, trying to hammer out which way the story should go. I really like the story I've created and would like to know what people think.

The story centers around two brothers who were abducted by an evil organization to be experimented on. A whole other world is revealed to them, one that is filled with unspoken evil. The experiments conducted on the two caused something deep within them to surface. It was exactly what AUTUMN wanted... An Awakening...

The two brothers, Zach (Z) and Ethan Allen, eventually escape from their captor's clutches. Lost and all alone in a vast and dangerous world, the two rely on their new power, each other, and their unique skills to find safety from the powerful organization's grasp.

Seeing the devastation AUTUMN caused in his life, Z becomes filled with a fiery passion; vengeance. It was from then on that he swore to devote himself to getting stronger and learning more about his power to one day confront the powerful members of that horrible organization. He had a promise to his father to keep, and his loved ones to protect. He wasn't going to let AUTUMN get what they wanted, and he would burn them to the ground... Every Last One.

This is a story for those who love Shonen anime and exciting action. There is tons of mystery and I plan on having a part 2 to the novel. DM me if you're interested. I'm looking for constructive criticism not just on the story but also my writing style. I write via google docs so I'll need a gmail for those who want to give it a shot.

2 Comments
2024/05/20
13:21 UTC

0

[In Progress] [37k] [Romance] History professor on the spectrum as lead, tabletop rpg as backdrop

The story that I've been working on in bursts for close to a year, the main character is a history professor in his thirties that gets dragged into a tabletop rpg game by old friends. There he meets the FMC and love interest. Story is roughly about a third done currently as a first draft, and I'm at a bit of a crossroads for how to continue right now. This is why I'm reaching out here, and hope that this sounds interesting to some of you. Thank you for your time.

2 Comments
2024/05/20
08:13 UTC

1

[In Progress] [1000] [Historical Fiction] A male author writing female characters

The setting is 1470-ish Holy Roman Empire, in the fictional town of Verletzen in southern Germany. The two lead characters in the first third of the overall story are Agathe Holdberg and her daughter Czylle. Agathe is a frau du wald - a woman of the forest - following the path of Freja as a healer and midwife. Czylle is training, and will find her path challenged when she falls in love and has to choose between her calling and the young man.

In this sample, Czylle gets her first period - in the context of the story, it's a HUGE deal, told at first from her perspective. I'm asking for feedback from women: does the narrative sound honest? Should I handle it differently? I'm drawing from what I know thanks to my wife and our daughter and some unbiased feedback would be welcome.

Comments enabled. Thank you!

Czylle's name is eastern European and pronounced "Tz-ill-ah", but in my head I call her "Sill."

Ultimately, the novel will be horror, but there are no horror elements in the sample.

6 Comments
2024/05/20
05:12 UTC

2

[Complete] [118k] [SciFi/Alternate history] Mission Butterfly: A quest to save the future

Blurb:

What if you could go back in time …

… and kick a few Baby Boomer butts?

When they came to forks in the road, Boomers often took the wrong one.

In Mission: Butterfly, three “Post-Tippers” – a generation raised after the calamitous climate tipping point of 2025 – go back to the mid-20^(th) century to set a few key people straight. But multi-national cartels, not quite finished ruining the planet, try to stop them.

As we learned in Stephen King’s 11/22/63, you can’t muscle history. The Mission: Butterfly team uses finesse instead. They nudge their targets to make different choices, creating ripples in time that profoundly change history.  What if the Vietnam War didn’t happen? If J. Edgar Hoover’s racist snooping had been exposed earlier? If Native Americans’ occupation of Alcatraz had succeeded in winning reparations for indigenous people?

Like Jake Tapper’s “Charlie and Margaret Marder" mystery series, debut author Steve Krizman peppers this sprawling tale with believe-it-or-not history nuggets and surprising celebrity cameos. He exposes the political, economic, and religious roots of human-caused climate change.

TV series like The Man in the High Castle and For All Mankind, imagine “what could have been.” Mission: Butterfly aims higher: By revealing the far-reaching consequences of each individual’s actions and decisions, it causes us to wonder “what can be.”

Request:

After months of working and reworking -- with the help of friends and family -- I need fresh eyes. I ask my Beta Readers to:

  • Flag the good, the bad, the boring
  • Tell me whether the characters are relatable
  • Rate the story on a surprising/predictable scale
  • Note places that drag

I'm not in a great hurry, but would like to have feedback within four weeks. If you just can't get through it all, tell me where you stopped and why.

I am willing to swap manuscripts.

2 Comments
2024/05/19
16:23 UTC

2

[In Progress] [1225] [Contemporary Fiction] unintended

Story blurb: My novel follows the story of four characters at different levels of success between their mid twenties and mid thirties. It focuses on their relationships, friendships, career trajectories, and mental breakdowns.

Content warning : None

Feedback needed: I have written the first draft and I’m slowly editing it now. I have reworked the first scene of the book to match the style that I want to continue throughout the book. I’m looking for feedback on this first scene only - whether it’s engaging or not, and if you enjoy reading the style or not.

I am willing to swap upto 5000 words or the first chapter in a similar genre.

3 Comments
2024/05/19
07:09 UTC

2

[In Progress] [7.2k] [dark romance/ murder mystery] any advice please?

Hiya! I’m currently writing up my first book description for Wattpad, and I would love some feedback if possible. :)

To ask yourself to forgive is one thing, but to forget? That's another battle entirely. ••• ELIDY COOPER, a sarcastic, witty, yet dead-end detective soon finds herself with a peculiar homicide case at hand. A young man shot through the heart, with no trace of an identity, and a cryptic calling card left on his body. Knowing that solving this mystery could be the last chance to save her dying career, she quickly delves deep into the investigation.

NATHAN MOORES, a blunt, morally grey, yet talented detective soon finds himself stuck as Elidy's partner on the strange case.

With their partnership brimming with tension, and theories clashing, the two detectives struggle to work together and make progress. But when their case reveals a sinister connection to organised crime and vanishing evidence, they find themselves forced into relying on each other.

With suspicions of foul play beginning to arise, a daunting question soon rears its ugly head: perhaps it isn't just the files holding onto the secrets?

4 Comments
2024/05/18
18:56 UTC

1

[In Progress] [1560] [Thriller-Mystery] Echoes of Desperation

Hi, I'm looking for feedback and critical thoughts.

Blurb: In the shadow of tragedy and the echoes of a lost friendship, Maya grapples with the weight of unanswered questions and the haunting specter of a friend's untimely death. As she navigates the labyrinth of grief and uncertainty, memories of Ekim linger like unspoken secrets, urging her to unravel the enigma of her passing.

Genres: Thriller-Mystery

Tags: psychology, mystery, thriller, suicidalthoughts, suicide, friendsdeath

Content Warnings: Suicide, Stalk, Depression

Those who are interested can send a private message.

1 Comment
2024/05/18
14:52 UTC

4

[Complete] [147k] [Fantasy, Mystery, Hero's Journey] Saltgrave

Hi guys.
I have completed my full novel and done a couple of editing passes myself. I currently have about 25 copies sent out to friends & family but am looking for more critical feedback from the perspective of writers and people knowledgeable about writing.

Here is my blurb:

Deep in the Dreadmarsh, a council of scheming Waymen grip the city of Brymouth Bhree in wicked plots, and a shortage of Lantern Oil threatens to let the ever present warpfog spill into the city.

Astrid Saltgrave, teamaster and heir to a cursed lineage, embarks on a perilous expedition into the mysterious southern swamps of Dreadmarsh to settle a great debt. But as her journey intertwines with sinister schemes, ancient faerie secrets, and forbidden eldritch knowledge, Astrid must confront the horrors of life in Dreadmarsh.

Meanwhile, her father Cyrus, a Witch War veteran, seeks redemption while navigating Brymouth Bhree's deadly political arena - for the sake of his daughter's future. In an effort to escape his Elder Faerie Promises, he binds himself only further into debts, and a new governor in town takes a special interest in him.

I will provide a link to my prologue + first 2 chapters, and if you would like to provide feedback on that it would be much appreciated. And then, if you'd like to continue the story and provide more feedback on further chapters we can organise it in DM. Open to doing feedback trades as well. Cheers!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1oNs8eJK_R1-1p4tBeIERaLVEI--4C7xI4TUVmzG4pyY/edit?usp=sharing

The doc has comments enabled so feel free to add some if you like!

3 Comments
2024/05/18
11:25 UTC

0

[Complete] [93k] [Fantasy, Romance, Mystery] Redemption: Brace The Tide

With three books complete in the series, I'm looking for a beta to read through the updated versions. These books have already been through 5 betas, so I have done a lot of fine-tuning. Ideally, I'm looking for a fast reader with a sharp eye and a heart for action and heroines. The story has ethnically diverse characters and plot twists to keep you guessing, with a dash of philosophy and a splash of romance. I need feedback on plot & character development and engagement.

Genre: Fantasy, romance, mystery and supernatural.
Disclaimer: A mild instance of animal cruelty.

Blurb and excerpt link:

The Daezh killed her father and marked her for death. Now Nadia, a water mage from the small town of Lyria, must quietly assimilate into her new home of Allov, where the air is thick with the cult worship of these transdimensional murderers.

Fate brings her to three supernaturally adept allies—a quick and witty swordsman, a broody archer with unerring aim, and a dashing electromancer with a Midas touch—each harbouring deep scars inflicted by her enemies.

Banding together in their quest for vengeance is not without its challenges. Nadia must navigate matters of the heart while moving in secret to bring down the Daezh. Will she stop them, or will they finish her first?

Excerpt: https://docs.google.com/document/d/163erDJaptzpBtZRMdAG41ODsyaOx7JRacnV2N6lrTZg/edit?usp=sharing

1 Comment
2024/05/18
09:13 UTC

1

[Complete] [63k] [YA Contemporary] One of Those Stars

Hey, everyone. I’m looking for feedback on my edited first draft. I’d love for constructive criticism on plot inconsistencies, character arcs, and pacing.

This story contains a smidge of Tagalog (Filipino) mainly through dialogue. And there’s very little Mandarin too. There’s translations within the prose, of course. 

Genres: YA, Contemporary

Tags: Filipino MC, Chinese-American MC, Dual POV, very light F/F romance, slow burn, psychological/mental health, secrets/mystery, magical elements, Autumn/Fall season, written in Present-tense

Content warnings: Death (Suicide), Grief, Mental Illness (Depression), Memory loss, brief thoughts of Self-harm, brief mention of Bullying, Swearing

Blurb: 17-year-old Clover gets into an accident and wakes up from a coma believing she’s a Streyarose, a fantastical being that hails from a celestial planet, and disguised as a human to complete a mission on earth. She meets 16-year-old Ruby, expelled from high school and forced to live with her grandparents in her childhood hometown full of bad memories. They form an unlikely friendship, later finding that they have more of a connection than they realize—a heartbreaking secret that will unlock tragic truths and memories.

🔗 Here’s the first chapter.

Timeline: I’d like to go over feedback after two weeks.

Swap: Available. I enjoy YA, Contemporary, and Magical Realism. I’m not fit for SCI-FI, Historical Fiction, or High Fantasy.

A lil heads up: I have a questionnaire that I’ll send to you along with the manuscript if you decide to read my book!

1 Comment
2024/05/18
01:14 UTC

0

[In Progress] [30k] [Medieval - Romance - Fantasy] Looking for Beta readers to give feedback on the first unfinished draft

So, in short, I haven't finished the first book yet but I'm hoping to turn it into a duology. I'm looking for beta readers to give me general feedback on the story itself, what they think about it, if they maybe notice some plot holes or suggest some changes if they have any. Really just speak your mind. I need some (a lot of) constructive criticism, given the fact that this is the first time I actually intend to finish and hopefully publish a novel.

It's written in first person POV and I'm trying my best with the lore, action scenes and romantic relationships between the characters. It's all so new to me and as any beginner writer, I find it hard to stop cringing at my work. I always find things to fix, fuss over and hate. I feel like I can't progress the story further when I keep going back to change every little detail so I need a different POV from someone with eyes entirely fresh to my story and the world it is happening in. It can get very overwhelming at times and the people I've asked to read it so far (friends, family, etc...) aren't very educated in the matter. They just read it and say "it's great!" without thinking much of it. I hope you get what I mean so if you're interested hmu! If not, thank you for reading this post either way and have a lovely day! <3

3 Comments
2024/05/18
00:11 UTC

1

[In Progress] [41342] [romance-fantasy] Book 1 of (hopefully) a series

This is the first book in a planned series. It is more romance than fantasy, but there is some adventure. Very brief description of an attempted assault recalled by one of the MC. The POV goes back and forth between the two MC as they fall in love. Book 2 will focus on two characters in the same group.

I really just want someone to read the whole thing together and tell if it's crap. I've only gotten feedback on one chapter at a time, from people who haven't read the previous chapters in most cases.

I am available to read for you, but I am not a fan of horror.

Thanks!

3 Comments
2024/05/17
22:54 UTC

4

[In Progress] [80,000] [Psychological Thriller with scenes of Extreme Horror] Swallow Me Whole

I'm currently almost halfway through my 5th draft and then I will be ready for beta readers. I'm thinking in the next couple of weeks it'll be ready. After my Beta feedback, I'll be hopefully doing one more draft and it'll be ready to be published. My goal is to have my Beta feedback complete by the end of June so I can publish in mid July. If you liked the book Pretty Girls by Karin Slaughter and like/can stomach graphic violence/torture/gore (I can send a list of trigger warnings if requested) and like the following tropes: vengeance, dual timelines, multiple POVs, an unreliable narrator, some morally gray and likeable characters (imo lol), processing trauma (mostly focusing on the aftermath of trauma and how it affects someone mentally and emotionally) people from different paths with different skill sets coming together based on a mutual goal

Here is my synopsis:

Birdy is an anxious, 65-year-old married man. After his best friend's disappearance, Birdy and his wife become prime suspects in the police investigation. He doesn't know who to trust anymore and takes matters into his own hands.

Dolores is a protective older sister. Her dad leaving when she was 8 is the least of her problems. At 16 she committed an unspeakable act in order to protect the one she loves most. Now she will do whatever it takes to make things right.

Birdy's and Dolores' paths collide. Avoiding the bloodbath wasn't an option anymore. That opportunity was thrown away decades ago.

If you loved Pretty Girls but craved more gore then welcome to O.E.S.! We accept payment in flesh and tears. We hope you enjoy your stay as much as we have.

3 Comments
2024/05/17
21:49 UTC

2

[Complete] [2,264] [Contemporary Fiction] Who We Thought We Were ***First Chapter Swap!***

Hoping to hone my first chapter as I wade into the querying process. Looking to swap first chapters with a few different folks.

One-sentence blurb: When a revealed secret fractures codependent, 20-something best friends Adam and Josie’s relationship, they’re forced to understand their own wants and needs without the other’s influence. 

Content warnings: None in first chapter

Feedback sought: General 'does this all work effectively' question + is your interest piqued?

Preferred timeline: 1 week

Swap availability: Yes, for similar lengths (I'll take up to 5K). I won't ghost you, so please don't ghost me. Wide open for genres.

6 Comments
2024/05/17
20:47 UTC

3

[In Progress] [80k] [Business/Self-Help] [Change Management/Leading Change Effectively] Looking for Feedback

I am working on a business book about leading change in a human-centric way. This book introduces a simple 4-step model of change and is intended to help leaders understand the natural human reaction to change and lead people through change effectively.

My writing partner and I have successfully trained over 1,000 people in this methodology with rave reviews, so we're making it a book!

We hope to have a full first draft by the end of June, but are able to take on beta readers on a small section ASAP. We are looking for feedback on structure and flow as we are trying to make this book as memorable and impactful as it can be.

Drop a comment or write me a message to connect.

4 Comments
2024/05/17
17:43 UTC

1

[Complete] [5k] [Speculative Fiction/Sci-Fi] Solaris

Hello!

Looking to swap or otherwise, but I'm hoping for readers to check out a short story submission I recently wrote for a contest!

It follows a young girl who concocts a dangerous plan for the sake of her father; one that goes against everything her beloved home stands for.

Here's an except:

"Hera was weightless for the tiniest quark-sized moment. And then she was falling, dropping like a stone through the air. Too shocked to scream, she heard the high whistle of the wind as it rushed past her, saw the wavering, twirling lights of the stars far above- 

Stillness, suddenly.

There was a gentle pressure around her waist. She looked down, uncomprehending, breath leaving her in ragged gasps, and saw that one of the thick, ropy tentacles had snatched her out of the air. Pure surprise dominated her emotions, and hesitantly, she reached out and brushed a hand against the thick mass. She found that the tentacle was smooth, almost velvety, but surprisingly hard.

Then she was moving again, being drawn up into the shadowy bottom of the Solaris. Hera reached out and brushed the passing tendrils. They helped to keep her from lingering on her racing heart, the overflowing terror and adrenaline that had been elicited by her almost-fall.

Looking up, she could see that the surface of the Solaris was parting for her, a section of it splitting open to allow her passage. This too, was fascinating, and Hera found herself gaping as she passed through the yawning hole."

9 Comments
2024/05/17
15:29 UTC

4

[In Progress] [7.2k] [dark romance/ murder mystery] Any advice please?

Hiya! If anyone can give me some pointers to my book opener that would be amazing! [genre- dark romance/ murder mystery]

-UNKNOWN-

Dear Ace,

Our fates intertwined due to tragedy. I'm reminded of that every time I look at you.

If I knew what I know now, I wouldn't have done it. I wouldn't have taken him from you.

But I didn't know.

So each step he took, I watched. Each path he walked down, I followed. Each bullet that tore through his heart, I shot.

So I confess to you that I am guilty. Guilty of so much more than murder.

  • S
10 Comments
2024/05/17
11:55 UTC

0

[In Progress][15k][Fanfiction] Garlic Breath

Hi, I'm looking for a beta reader for my fanfiction. I mostly want eyes on it, but also someone to help me figure out what's needed for the last chapter/climax? A soundboard for the last chapter I still have yet to write. The rest of the story is completed though!

Beta Template

Name: Garlic Breath

Fandom: Food Wars

Pairing: M/M, Souma x Takumi ship

Genre: Romance <3

Link: Google Docs + commenting Link

Fandom Blind: Mostly! The only thing you need to know is:

The two mains go to a fancy culinary school, and they regularly do food wars to see who is the best cook. This is called a shokugeki. To become the First Seat (equivalent of School President), you have to battle the current First Seat and win. If you lose, you are expelled. If you win, the First Seat is expelled.

Souma is First Seat, and has held it for a long time. But the third years want to dethrone him, before they finish school.

TW: None!

Synopsis: Souma randomly decides he has to kiss Takumi one night.

Looking for:

  • anything that confuses you!
  • anything that makes you cringe (please tell me, i don't mind)
  • anything that you think doesn't work
  • if you know anything about plot structure, do you see a plot structure anywhere in sight?
  • Desperately needed: I only have the last chapter to go. The last chapter is the climax but I'm stumped on what needs to be done for it. So any suggestions and help is lovely <3

I just need to know what you think needs to be answered and resolved, and what you would like to see in the last chapter?

I can Beta For You Too!

Preferred Genre: I am interested in romance and contemporary stuff, but I am not picky! Willing to do something of the same length, and a once off beta read.

l

1 Comment
2024/05/17
08:26 UTC

0

[In Progress] [230K] [Spicy NA dystopian romance] NEVER BROKEN

Hi! I'm looking for feedback on my spicy dystopian NA forbidden romance trilogy, which in total is about 230k words. The trilogy continuous with the HEA in the 3rd book, but you're welcome to just start with the 1st book and then decide whether you'd like to continue. I'd be happy to take whatever feedback I can get!

Warning: It has dark themes, but it is not a "dark romance," i.e. there is no abuse or toxicity between the MCs. I can provide all the info you need about triggers, etc. if you're interested. Thanks!

SUMMARY:

She’s a struggling rich girl who’s always followed the rules. He’s a gifted slave who plays by his own. 

Louisa Phillips, daughter of a rich family staring down poverty, is scrambling to save her college scholarship before she’s thrown out on the street. The only one who can help her is the golden-haired slave downstairs who, despite his surprising knowledge of organic chemistry, is stuck scrubbing floors and building fences for her father.

Amid intense study sessions and long nights full of secrets, his wounded amber-gold eyes, rippling whip-scarred body, and infuriating boldness intoxicate her. But she's forbidden from even being touched by him — as if there's any way she can stop there. 

A lifetime of abuse didn't stop the boy — the one nobody ever bothered to name — from pulling the strings to get here, find his missing sister, and take his revenge on those who stole her away. And if he has to use — or hurt — his master’s spoiled daughter to get it, fine. In a life where he’s forced to give away every other part of himself, why would he choose to give his heart, too?

The only problem with his quest for revenge? Louisa’s far from spoiled. She has a heart, and she’s learning to be brave. And soon, he's doing the one thing he knows he can't — falling for her. In their world, breaking even one rule destroys lives. But to be together, they'll have to smash all of them. Starting with their own.TROPES:

  • Forbidden Love
  • Dystopian/Alternate Universe
  • Rich Girl/Poor Boy
  • Strangers to Lovers
  • Protective MMC
  • Power Dynamics
  • Touch Her and Die
  • Banter
  • Angst
  • Whump
  • Hurt/Comfort
  • Distressed Dude/Distressed Damsel

The first book, which shares the series title Never Broken, is roughly 60-70k words and is scheduled for publication at the end of 2024. It's the first in a 3-book series and (I can't stress this enough!) ends on a hard cliffhanger. The next two books are scheduled for quick release thereafter, and together form a complete arc with a guaranteed HEA. Due to the quick release, beta reading priority will be given to those who can read and provide feedback on the entire series. Also open to swaps!

I made a Google form for you to fill out your interest here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1__tbIC6wUw06eeihnEPg0q1Cy05gbS6aVFkKmpFXRjs

Again, thank you SO MUCH for your interest! 🩷

3 Comments
2024/05/17
02:37 UTC

2

[Complete] [91,000] [Scifi] The Harvested

In a future utopian city missing persons from the past are harvested As a way of saving them. But Nicole, having been ripped from her life finds the real purpose for the harvested as well as the turmoil that lies below the veneer of perfection. And her link to it all. The first three chapters are available at www.TheHarvested.net as well as much of the world building.

*Would love to know if it is as enjoyable to read as it was to create. *I am available for beta reading. I prefer sci-fi and fantasy.

6 Comments
2024/05/16
19:21 UTC

4

[Complete][18.4k][Fable]The Tale of the Dragon Prince

Premise: three brothers are tasked by their father on his deathbed with following an edict, given to their ancestors long ago. The elder two do not follow the edict, and the story follows the adventures of the youngest, Percival Askelon, to the Paledrake Peaks to retrieve the sacrament and become king. However, this story was crafted with a lot of philosophical implications in mind, such as one of the brothers not being spoken of much at all to convey to the readers that his path is the least admirable to take when presented with a task in life. Would love any feedback concerning formatting, flow, and coherency.

If you're interested in beta-reading, please comment/dm for link to the doc.

4 Comments
2024/05/16
18:16 UTC

2

[In Progress] [7.2k] [Dark Romance/Crime] Any Advice?

Hiya, can anyone help give me pointers for this opening to my book:

-UNKNOWN- ━━━━━━♡━━━━━━

Dear you,

Our fates intertwined due to tragedy. I'm reminded of it every day I look at you.

If I knew what I know now, I wouldn't have done it. I wouldn't have hurt him. I wouldn't have taken him from you.

But I didn't know.

So each step he took, I watched. Each path he walked down, I followed. Each bullet that tore through his heart, I shot.

It was merely an order, one I was forced to follow.

So I confess to you that I am guilty. Guilty of so much more than murder.

From, S

11 Comments
2024/05/16
11:42 UTC

0

[Complete] [56K] [Detective] A t-girl detective investigates a blackmail case

First-timer popping their cherry! I have a detective novel, first-draft complete. The detective is a gay t-girl (cross-dresser) who dresses at work as a detective. She is investigating a blackmail case. It is my take on the old-school, hard boiled style but with more modern sensibilities.

The victim is a Republican state-level senator (state legislature). They are politically opposite in their views.

excerpt:

I keep thinking about what he said in the flat. I was blagging when I said I had the gun, I ain't got it. Not yet. I'll get it though. (The Diner guys brother) is the lead I need and I'm sure I'll find it. But Joe's words concern me. What did he mean when he said things like: "It ain't nearly enough, little detective. You ain't got a clue who you're dealing with here," "you'd be after the right guys, not here with me," and "These people will do anything to keep this going now." None of this makes sense. I'm sure he's not involved with the murder of Tarrant, or the blackmail scam, so what the hell is he talking about? It must be something to do with the storage units and the coffee shop, but who and what? Is this some Monson operation he's stumbled on? Is this why Tarrant was killed? To protect the operation? Joe won't know, he ain't a serious enough player. Onze? I doubt it, but I want to get there fast. I'm worried he'll have disposed of it, he's far too untrustworthy. I'm not sure why Joe gave him the stuff to look after. Whatever it was must have been either valuable, important, or both. And Joe must have realised this. Maybe he's not as dumb as I think he is. And what if Onze isn't either? What if he realises the import of the items? I'm hoping the valise and laptop Tarrant had with him in the CCTV is there, they sure weren't in the car. Either Joe took them or the killer or killers did.

Content Warnings: has some gay sex stuff in there but it isn't graphic, as well as a murder.

The type of feedback you’re looking: readability, tone, consistency of tone, plot, characters, does it feel detective-y enough?

Timeline: maybe a couple of weeks, depends how busy you are to be honest.

16 Comments
2024/05/16
10:12 UTC

3

[Complete] [108.474] [M/M Romance] The Tailor and the Pinhead

Hello, everyone :)

I'm looking for beta readers for the following:

Blurb

Joël Leonard Marlon Anderson has one dream: become the next rockstar of fashion designers. Numerous application letters got him a little closer to achieving this dream. He becomes the assistant of Noah Deere, one of Clark & Walker’s leading fashion designers. As he navigates the challenging business and the perception of himself, Joël gets sucked into his boss’s personality, hidden beneath Deere’s mask of perfectionism.

CW

Contains sexual situations (M/M), drug use, and references to physical and psychological abuse.

If you're interested in helping out with plot, pacing, feedback on characters, or anything else that comes to your mind, just message me here or via DM. I'm happy about any feedback :)

To find out whether writing style, tone, and whatnot are to your liking, you could check out this excerpt:

Excerpt from chapter 1

1 Comment
2024/05/16
08:12 UTC

3

[In Progress] [25k] [Adult Fantasy/Monster Romance] Needles and Fangs (Workshopping)

Hello, beta-readers of Reddit! I'm a novice writer who has recently picked up the pen again. I'm looking to improve upon my writing; but I feel as though I've hit a block reading and rereading and editing myself. I'm hoping a fresh pair of eyes and a new perspective might help!

I'm happy to swap stories- I'm open to reading almost any genre- with the caveat that is is paired in some way with fantasy- though I have been known to get sucked into a good sci-fi! I'm not particularly fond of gritty realism or nonfiction, and I'll struggle to get through anything historical or even set in the modern day without a touch of whimsy. I love progression fantasy, and adore a good irreverent protagonist. If you've got an expansive and interesting worldbuilding project you are working on, I'd love to hear all about it and swap ideas! Let me get lost in the universes you've created! Speculative biology is also somewhat of a passion of mine that I've been delving back into as of late, so I'm also happy to help workshop creature designs and descriptions!

I'm seeking critiques on pacing, characterization, dialogue, and I'd love questions about the world/worldbuilding- the story I'm seeking a beta for here is one of three currently set in the same overarching world- though in different time periods/locations. I'm constructing my own magic-system for this world, with the soul and its connection to the mind and body being the core building blocks of this system! I very much enjoy progression fantasy.. but I also dislike hard and fast rules and numbers that quantify the unquantifiable. IF you're into that sort of thing, I have maps, charts, and docs with worldbuilding I'm happy to share- but none of it is necessary to beta this story if that doesn't interest you! I DO have 2 other stories in progress set in the same world, as well- all are currently about the same length.

This will be an adult fantasy romance. The current setting has some semi-modern technological advancements replicated utilizing magic. There ARE some smut scenes I have written- but I can remove them and hold those separately if it isn't something you are comfortable reading!

Trigger warnings: Potential graphic descriptions of violence, medical procedures, or injuries. Heavier themes like sapience/what makes one human may be approached. Depictions of sex, dubious consent, likely a lot of death. Not intended to be a dark/depressing story; but dark/depressing themes are likely to come up/be touched on. Smut scenes can be removed if that proves an issue.

Small part of the story outline/summary I've written is included below.

Wynne is an acolyte and healer in The Order of The Dragon Prime, a secret cult worshiping the Devoured God, Sunnaerus. Her particular branch of The Order is dedicated to researching souls to better understand their composition and power. Having discovered some texts dating back to The Age of Strife hundreds of years prior detailing the creation of certain types of monsters via a process known as ‘soul fusion’, Wynne's branch of The Order is dedicated to studying of the souls of these creatures’ descendants to discover the true power of the soul. They are currently researching a species known as 'Oni' by the locals. Wynne is a low-level member who joined the cult to escape her father, and further her research on healing and souls. She is responsible for the intake, processing, and preparing the creatures for study, harvest and experimentation, as well as healing them after more rigorous procedures and harvests of materials. Despite finding their treatment of monsters barbaric, Wynne is unable to leave without risking her own life and the Oni's, and attempts to keep them as comfortable as possible, often going against or twisting orders to try and better provide for them. Due to her usefulness as a healer, and her good relationship with several of the Elders, she is given some liberties around the facility.

The story begins as Wynne prepares for the intake procedure of a newly-captured Oni- Subject 4.

Link to an excerpt

If any of what you've read here sounds interesting, don't hesitate to DM me! Thanks so much for taking the time to read this post. Hope you have a lovely evening!

4 Comments
2024/05/16
03:46 UTC

2

[Complete] [112k] [Adult Urban Fantasy] [Romance Subplot] Avail for Swap!

Hello! I'm recruiting beta readers for my complete novel the first novel of my series.

For fans of magic, mythology and legend, found family, humor, and a sprinkling of spice.

Feedback I'm looking for:

  • For starters, anything that you think is worthy of sharing I'm happy to read. General reactions are nice too!
  • Characterization
  • Setting - is it rich enough for your mind's eye?

Preferred Timeline: Within three weeks.

Swaps/Partners: I'm available! In fact I'd love to prioritize swaps. The only genres of fiction that I do not feel qualified to help with are Horror/Suspense (all), military scifi/fic, and slow burn or clean romances.

Triggers: Genre specific violence. A few spots get a bit gritty/dark. Closed door spicy scenes included.

6 Comments
2024/05/15
22:34 UTC

2

[Complete] [140,000] [Romantasy, dramedy ] My Fair Maiden, Book 1: Much Ado About Dragons

Blurb: The fair maiden Farean thought her life was over when she was chosen as the virgin sacrifice to a dragon that has been terrorizing her village, yet much to her surprise the dragon appears to be keeping her as a pet. Now she must find a way to escape the mysterious, ancient ruin the dragon has made its lair. As she explores the abandoned keep she crosses paths with a mysterious and bewildering white haired man who claims to be watching over her. Meanwhile Farean's lover the brave knight Sir Linus must turn against his order and make his way to the mountain's summit so he may slay the dragon once and for all. There's just one problem, an ancient evil is plotting his return and the fearsome dragon who's hoarding the fair maiden, a talking squirrel and some magic mushrooms might just be the only things standing in the way of the foul lich's resurrection. Can Sir Linus survive his summit of the mountain? Will Farean unravel the mystery of High Ever keep and its white-haired guardian and find a way to escape the dragon, or is the world about to go to hell in a handbasket?

Recently completed manuscript. I'd happy for any feed back whether or not anyone would like to read the whole thing or just a few chapters I haven't had many eyeballs on this and have basically been writing this as I recovered from a bad accident. I'd describe the tone as irreverent and a bit absurdist, with a lot of deconstruction and or subversion of classic fairy-tale and fantasy tropes. I had a friend who read the whole thing said it reminded him of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, but fantasy in terms of tone and humor.

I'm having trouble deciding on what genre to call this. Personally I would like to call it romantasy but it has strong comedic elements and isn't very spicy. The romance is very slow burn, and a bit enemies to lovers / opposites attract. Even though I'd like to go with romantasy as the genre considering that much of that genre is a lot of erotica with just a fantasy setting I'm not sure if calling it that would reach the target audience. I feel like this is fairly plot heavy and it takes a while to get to the romantic elements. So I guess that's my biggest concern feedback wise. What do you feel is the best way to classify/market the story? Would your average romantasy reader enjoy this and if not who would? Maybe some comp titles.

But like I said I would be happy to get just general feed back too.

Willing to do a critique swap as well.

Here's a short sample of the writing:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1PLjC29Z9w-CMYFbRohRPGHYJbcbO-PEdCpmLO4QZCL4/edit?usp=sharing

2 Comments
2024/05/15
22:26 UTC

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