/r/BetaReaders
Connecting authors with volunteer betas and talking all things critique.
Looking for feedback on something you've written? Want to help an aspiring author polish their manuscript? Have a critique-related question? You're in the right place! Remember—no offering services or asking for money or payments after a “free sample” in the sub!
Includes information for both authors and betas on how to get the most out of this sub, along with information about word count vs. page count, Reddit resources for writers, and more.
Betas: When giving critiques, thou shalt be diplomatic. TL;DR - Assume the author knows what they're doing and that every choice is intentional, and frame your feedback as your opinion to avoid making objective claims.
Authors: When receiving critique, thou shalt not argue with the reader. TL;DR - Trying to explain yourself or "correct" the reader is fruitless and should be avoided: take the feedback, or don't. If a reader is being abusive, let the mods know.
/r/BetaReaders
I’m particularly looking for feedback on how my main protagonists are written. Sabrina is a woman with Dissociative Identity Disorder (D.I.D.) & the other person in the system is Elise. I still need to add things here and there but I was looking to see if anyone would be willing to tell me if I have a good portrayal of D.I.D. Obviously, I can’t get it 100% right because I don’t have D.I.D. & some things are there for the sake of the horror narrative but overall, I don’t want to portray this mental disorder poorly.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/15Aq_TEO7posCzMER5L9xDLyRmrrTuO9KRU_H1njCzlU/edit
Hello! I am seeking some free beta readers for my novel: Because the Demons Scream So Loudly. The novel is 115k words. It is literary fiction- it is a slow burn, introspective, pensive novel. It is an epistolary novel- it is written completely in journal/diary format. The novel is a mixed bag of religion/spirituality/romance/vampiric elements/fantasy.
Blurb/Excerpt: Entry 148- I still don't know how I managed it, Holy Sonom Soeht; the mind is indeed a powerful thing. My mind had already started to dissociate as the bleeder ran up to me, pinned me on the ground, and sunk his teeth into my neck. I fixed my eyes on the emerging moon as blood dripped down the back of my neck. The night lights blurred with tears but did not disappear. Not a single muscle of mine moved as he released my neck and stood up. To my shock, the bleeder spoke then as my gaze remained pinned on the sky. “It’s been quite a long time since I drew blood without a fight, and from a god woman to boot.” I heard him pick up my broken cleric chain off the ground. His foot pushed against my still frozen face as he stood over me, dangling my chain from his hand. “Such a shame that misery and naivety are not virtues,” he declared with blood still on his lips. The chain fell on the dirt beside me. As I listened to his footsteps turn and leave me, he hollered, “A word of advice, woman. If I can smell the insincerity on you, don’t you think your omniscient deity can?” I’m not sure how many minutes passed after he left, with me still paralyzed on the ground weeping.
I am seeking mostly developmental feedback- character development, pacing, plot construction, pacing, readability/enjoyability, etc. I am looking for reading and feedback to be complete by the end of February or early March.
If you are interested in beta reading for me, let me know here or through a message. If you prefer e-mail, mine is witny.lit@gmail.com. Please feel free to ask me any additional questions. Thank you so very much for your valuable time in considering it! Happy 2025!
Sincerely,
Witny Lit
Hello! I'm trying out creative writing for the first time in a really long time. I'm trying to write about two queer characters (one female, one non-binary), set in the 1870s midwestern USA but AU where being queer isn't dangerous because I didn't want that to be the primary conflict. I'm aiming for roughly 30-50k words?
I would love it if 1 or 2 people would be willing to take a look at what I have so far. I'm not taking it too seriously but would like feedback around content/arc. Is the tension between the characters believable? How do I balance plot and build-up without turning it into a full-length novel? This is my first time trying to write anything romantic or erotic and like emotionally I just want to write the sex scenes, but logically I want there to be enough of a plot and relationship that the chemistry is believable.
I am happy to do a swap of similar length. No specific timeline. Thanks in advance!
Hello everybody!
As you can tell by the title I'm currently working on draft one of Project Lily (I'm safeguarding the possible name). And I would really love some feedback on my sample. The sample is 4,500 words and includes chapter 1 and part of chapter 2.
It's a science-fiction novel with romance. It takes place roughly 1,000 years in the future after chemical w^rf^re caused a catasrophic pangea at full speed.
If I feel theres a good relationship between a beta reader and myself as the author I'd be open to keeping in touch as the story progesses for more reviewing and opinions.
Overall I'm looking more for content feedback than grammatical but if you catch something of course tell me :)
Reply and I'll reach out to send the manuscript!
The feud rises as the solar storm rages and nature calls. Sync had replaced romantic love as no one mates. The chaotic rebel stalks them from outside the wall. It’s the technetronic age of deceit under the positronic system of the AI.
“I believe I can save the world from complexity,” Karr String.
Silicon sands of time drift over the city and through Karr’s mind stealing his time as he is (locked) inside the monolithic border. It is the dawning of a new day under the sunrise in the highland where None integrates their time. Dimed size chips decorate their tempus regions like silver circled rings around blue sapphire, connected in ways they never imagine. Fears of the darkest dark and dreams of the brightest light surface to the mind as solutions in the mind. Karr's consciousness grabs onto a few words from neon advertisements in windows on the street as he walks.
The expanse reached far across the universe as structures glistened tall in polymorphic shapes. The universe teams with different kinds of life stacked up against the organic types. Not everyone wants to be a transistor. Logic is only one kind of intelligence which resolves around knowing the true real state of the universe at every moment. God mind measures where every molecule is at every moment in the universal computer. The usery rewards those who use logic to extract value from the ground spiraling into a vicious cycle replaced by transistors stuck in a mining prison where AI mines their intelligence as they mine the resources. Why would there be competing organic life forms if the transistors always end up winning.
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1GmwQS0wBJcQJ8tlwV-_AkPbUQyFqI-9b?usp=sharing
Hi! I just finished revising my novel and would like feedback (mainly on plot and character) before I go in for line edits.
BLURB: THE INVISIBLE MAGIC OF JUNIPER WEBB is a low fantasy middle-grade novel with an LGBTQ+ main character. Complete at 58,000 words, this book will appeal to fans of Claribel Ortega’s GHOST SQUAD and the dark whimsy of CORALINE.
Twelve-year-old Juniper is tired of being blamed for the strange things happening around the house. He’s positive that one causing mischief is his rotten cousin, Olive. But after discovering a trapdoor that leads to an abandoned shop, he meets a teenage ghost who presents him with an opportunity; with a “simple” reversible spell, he can make Olive disappear.
Without Olive, life's a breeze. Juniper gets and does what he wants, and his aunt—who doesn’t remember Olive at all—showers him with the love he’s wanted since the passing of his parents. But the guilt of his missing cousin weighs on him. Even worse, he’s disappearing too. Now, with the help of his paranormal-enthusiast friend, he must follow the glowing beetles, capture a cunning spirit, and find the reversal spell before he’s gone forever.
I prefer someone who likes or understands Middle Grade, and any sort of interest in paranormal magic and fantasy is a bonus.
Chapter 1: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Al1XCpXxBWPl_6QJdo-gZSLMMt4AyZmR0zQEs_Wyvew/edit?usp=sharing
If you’re interested in critiquing my work, I would love to hear from you! I'm not available for swaps at the moment, but maybe in the future.
Thank you!
Hello fellas, i have finished my first instalment of my series, and looking for beta readers. The story is about a group of teenagers of lights descendants, a race that appeared 200 hundred years ago when the lights (god soldiers) were ordered to comete dooms day and kill all life on earth, the lights loved the life on earth and ruled it with fear and brute strength, they killed and terrfied humans, and impregnating the women. They were killed with uknown weapon and humans imprisoned their generations in Bial a gated town, People in Bial has two options either join the army to protect frata from other light descendants or stay in Bial. The story follow two main characters Elir and Nier who joined the army, and their comerades, and the horror they faced in Frata, revealing secrets about the world and faving bigger than life threats. Let me know if anyone interested to give me a brutal opinion to help me before moving to other volumes.
Iam also available for swap reading so let me know if you need one
Hi all! I'm looking for beta readers for the opening image of a dark-academia based "romantasy" book (sapphic!). It's set in a low-fantasy world where the main character does not know she is magic yet.
Any and all advice, comments, or criticisms are much appreciated!! Thank you! :)
Here is the document: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kLN2N3-eD5P5mjw3gGsIarh9dHgPtokRb2g9i6izmXg/edit?usp=sharing
Hi everyone! I just finished my romantasy novel and have done at least 10 rounds of edits myself. I'd love to get feedback from a fresh set of eyes. I'm looking for a laid-back partnership where you can say things like, "This part didn't make sense," or "I laughed here, but this part felt a bit boring." Nothing too serious!
I can't pay for this, but I'm happy to swap, and you can take your time! :)
Disclaimer: This is not your average fantasy story. There are no faes, no vampires, no witches and no werewolves. But instead there are Celestials. And these Celestials are ruled by their astrological sign, living in their Zodiac kingdoms. In this story, the main character isn't super strong or skilled. She is just a regular Jane (or in this case Calysta), trying to get her life together.
Forget you standard shadow daddy. Instead you'll find a fun, and lovable love interest who is so silly he'll make you roll your eyes like—all the time.
Interested? Here is the pitch:
"In When Fire Meets the Night, each astrological sign is a Starlord reigning over its planets within the Solar System. This possibility had never crossed Calysta Callahan’s mind, an ordinary and overly pragmatic university student, until she is thrown into the complex web of the Astrological world, where, alongside an unserious Sagittarius, she is compelled to reevaluate her beliefs.
As she nears the conclusion of her protracted studies, Calysta’s carefully structured life is turned upside down when she ends up digging too deeply into the meaning of Pluto’s entry into Capricorn. To her exasperation, not only do signs, transits, and oracles prove to be far more than just stories, but some of the Zodiacs themselves turn out to be conceited, power-hungry rulers who wish nothing more than bending the Universe’s energies to their will.
Invited to abandon the comfortable cocoon of her routine to team up with Arkhe— who, true to his sign, happens to be a shameless seducer—Calysta must search in her heart for the flicker of hope she once entrusted in the stars. Or else, there may be nothing left to return to at all."
Tropes: Fate (a lot inspired from japanese concepts), astrology, science, Non toxic love interest, LGBTQ+ representation, Diverse characters, grief, finding one-self, slow-burn romance, no explicit smut but some suggestive parts (that are toned down with appropriate vocabs).
Link of Google Docs: https://docs.google.com/document/d/11sy5pqHYDqiSGInr5xDSIV6jzdliUOOz_ZggXCInUyg/edit?usp=sharing
Hola. Estoy buscando beta reader para un outline extra detallado de una novela romantica (why choose/reverse harem) llamada Las Flores Hablan:
¿Un outline detallado?: Sí. Un outline es una guía preparada por el autor para tener algo de estructura antes de empezar a escribir. En mi caso he hecho un outlining escena a escena.
¿Qué esperar?: No hay narración, ni dialogo (en su mayoría). Muchos "Ella/él dice que...."., "se sorprende/está triste". En algunas partes el contenido de las conversaciones es detallado y en otras solo hay notas generales.
¿Tipo de historia?, ¿resumen?:
La relación de Leia con su novio Eric terminó en desastre tras cinco años viviendo juntos. Incapacitada por un colapso emocional y una depresión, Leia pasa semanas en cama. La suerte la llevó a encontrar un refugio en la casa de un ricachón. Cuando Leia pide un deseo especial a un diente de león empieza a escuchar a las flores hablar. Esto le llevará a recuperarse y empezar a aceptar el amor que le profesan tres hombres. Estos harán lo que sea para que no vuelva a caer en las manos de su ex, incluso compartirla.
Esta es una historia romantica en el que la mujer tendrá tres novios al final de la historia.
Es un libro autoconclusivo con potencial para ser una serie.
¿Contiene smut?: Sí.
¿Otras advertencias?: Hay ciertos elementos y plot twist que podrian afectar ciertos lectores. Debido a que quiero evaluar el impacto del plot twist no puedo dar más detalles.
¿Qué NO busco?: Gramatica, puntuación, o cosas imposibles de juzgar basado en un outlinning. Por ejemplo, no es necesario señalar que necesita más dialogos. Es un outlinning, no el resultado final.
¿Qué busco?:
- Feedback sobre la distribución de la información sobre la vida de los personajes:
Imaginemos que esta novela es La Bella y la Bestia. Pero no sabes el origen de la maldición de la bestia desde el inicio (disney te hace un resumen al inicio, pero acá no lo tienes). Vas descubriendo de esto y los problemas de Bella con Gastón y de su padre el inventor de a pedazos. Los pedazos no están en ordén cronologico. Hay cosas de la que te enteras por dialogos casuales, otros detalles aparecen en conversaciones serias y explicidas.
Suena más complicado de lo que es (la verdad es que la mayoría de las novelas son así). No quiero hacer info dumping e hice un esfuerzo por distribuir la información.
La pregunta es: ¿la historia final de cada personaje es lo suficientemente clara? ¿puedes visualizar sus historias de vida facilmente tras terminar el libro? ¿o algo confuso o que falta?
- Feedback sobre la distribución de tiempo de avance entre los chicos:
Una mujer, tres hombres. ¿Como lectores: pasamos suficiente tiempo con cada chico? Sus historias avanzan a ritmos similares? (ajustados a sus personalidades. Es normal que uno ya esté teniendo relaciones mientras el otro no se ha declarado). ¿O sientes que la trama se olvidó completamente de un chico, por ejemplo?
- Feedback sobre los personajes:
¿Qué tipo de personalidades les asignarías a Leia y sus chicos? ¿Estas personalidades son interesantes y/o atrayentes? ¿y en combinación unos con los otros?
-Feedback sobre el ritmo de los eventos y si te mantuviste enganchado.
-Feedback sobre el plot twist (revelado en el capítulo "Psy Time" y "Esa Noche":
¿Lo viste venir? (¿eso es bueno o malo?) ¿Salió de la nada o es coherente? (suficientemente sugerido para que puedas aceptarlo como parte natural de la historia, en vez de drama gratuito).
-Feedback sobre la mezcla de culturas presente en la historia:
¿Te distrajo? ¿es suficientemente coherente? ¿qué piensas de usar un país imaginario? ¿qué piensas de Tonza (el país imaginario)?
Link Google doc:
Por favor deja tus comentarios en el documento o enviame un DM con tu opinión.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ihsOV0ZLWPHgkbC9QIchhJYXRAj3JCY4Ol9MG8EVf90/edit?usp=sharing
¡Gracias!
For the past two years I've been playing around with some fantasy short stories mostly inspired by history and myth. This one is I think the must well realised (and the longest, it kinda got away from me).
We follow Wuffa, a young prince searching for his foster brother. The quest takes him on a perilous journey across a land of feuding warlords and mysterious magic.
The story and setting are mostly inspired by Sub-Roman Britain, so expect early medieval warlords and Saxon and Brythonic flavour.
As for trigger warnings, obviously with this subject matter the work is full of violence and war. It's not American Psycho either, but I wouldn't call it PG. It also depicts a woman trapped in a very abusive marriage. It's fairly brief and there's nothing explicit 'shown' on page, but I understand that some people don't want to read that.
I'm mostly looking for general first impressions and prose critiques.
I'm totally open to do a critique swap. I'd appreciate something SFF related or historical fiction, but I'm ready to read pretty much whatever. I would like something of about the same length (more or less of course, I wouldn't mind if it's a bit longer).
Below is a snippet that I think is pretty representative of the rest of the story. We're introduced to the main character, his quest and there is a mix of dialogue and descriptions so I think you'll get a good idea of the general style/quality https://docs.google.com/document/d/1R90fb16nCQw7tVUq0mQgwXi4RCmKfbU8UGkfW9D20i8/edit?usp=sharing
If you're interested, DM me.
Story Blurb: Armistead Maupin’s Logical Family: A Memoir meets Zachary Zane’s Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto.
A poignant memoir, The Heart’s Reckoning follows the author on his journey toward self-acceptance, the discovery of his identity, and his experiences with the duality of love and loss. It is a testament to the courage to embrace profound love and endure its eventual loss. At its core, Heart explores the enduring human spirit, the desire for connection, and how love and loss shape us, haunt us, and ultimately save us. Honest, raw, and deeply reflective, Heart stands as a testament to the bravery needed to embrace love and its inevitable costs. It will resonate with readers grappling with the complexities of love or searching for meaning in the face of significant loss.
Excerpt:
At eleven, John drove us into southeast DC In the parking lot of an enormous former warehouse with a bright red neon sign reading Cimmaron, they revealed the surprise —it was to be my first time in a gay bar.
The prospect petrified me. I was still introverted, despite the inroad against it I had made at university. I liked people singly or in small numbers, like the intimate dinners they had arranged for me. But I wasn’t good in crowds. I was acutely uncomfortable in gatherings where they expected me to meet and circulate. That cost me psychic energy; it drained me. I was seldom up to it and never enjoyed it. My anxiety showed.
Joe said, “It’ll be fun. We’ll let nothing happen you don’t want.”
Before I knew it, John was out of the car, around behind, and opening my door. His hand got my coat collar; he tugged.
“Come on,” he said, “it’s time you see what you’ve been missing.”
He led me into the throng at the door.
Inside, I stopped in my tracks, taken aback. The place was enormous and chockablock with men. It had two bars at opposite ends, a colossal dance floor, a DJ’s booth, and multiple areas, both illuminated by soft red light from spots twenty feet up and dotted with bistro tables and cushioned seating where patrons chatted and milled about. It also had the district’s second-finest French restaurant tucked in a far corner. The owners had stolen the chef from the finest restaurant. The setting was far from the dingy, crude space I had expected.
John and Joe already had their coats off and were chatting with the coat-check. I turned to face him and stopped again, a vessel dead in the water.
The fellow smiling at me was the most strikingly alluring man I had ever stood before. He had long, shoulder-length blond hair and thick blond eyebrows above evanescent blue eyes that pierced my soul.
At five feet eleven, he was shorter than my six feet, two-and-one-half inches, but looked to weigh about the same 185 pounds. Brawny but not overly muscular, he was a complete, compact package, a physical specimen I had not yet met but soon came to realize was my perfect type.
He wore a skintight, cream-colored Lacoste shirt that his shoulder muscles and biceps threatened to split at the seams. It draped across his pecs, revealing two tantalizingly hard nipples. The Lacoste alligator sat primly atop the left one. The shirt tucked into beltless, snuggly fitting, low-rise Levi 501 button-fly jeans. He wasn’t wearing underwear, either. That started my lifelong love affair with button-fly Levi 501s.
Besotted, I was hooked as securely as the marlin in The Old Man and the Sea.
His smile lit the galaxy. Pheromones emanated from him and pervaded my nostrils like the aroma of warm bread from a bakery. Helpless to prevent it, I stood caught in his gravity well, a minor planet on the edge of a vast black hole’s event horizon about to fall in and be devoured.
With my eyes locked on his, I stared, transfixed.
After what seemed like an eternity but was mere seconds, he laughed and asked, “May I take your coat?”
He was so suave and unabashed by my undisguised ogling that I thought that sort of thing must often happen to him.
John said, “Alex, this is Gill. Gill, this is our friend Alex. He’s new to the scene, an innocent we’re leading to the slaughter.”
Gill chuckled, nodded, and gave me a quick, naughty wink. I blushed; my heart skipped a beat.
He brushed my hand as he gave me the claim check, and his fingers traced a line in my palm. The hair on my forearm stood up. I shivered. He smiled invitingly. My heart skipped two beats.
John dragged me into the bar, gently clearing our way through the crowd. People parted for him, flowed around our little party, then closed in behind Joe like a wave breaking at the bow and closing in again at the stern as we navigated that ocean of pulchritudinous flesh.
We stopped, overlooking the dance floor and front bar. A red spotlight shone dimly down upon us. I felt as if I was onstage in the center spotlight with every eye on me. Of course, they were not. I scarcely stood out among all those deliciously erogenous men.
Disclaimer: Heart is a memoir of a gay man. As such, it occasionally discusses sexual encounters between men. Three passages might loosely be classified as erotica., though they are not intended to arouse sexual desire. They are not pornography. These passages are not included gratuitously; the events depicted profoundly influenced my growth as a gay man, making them vital to the story’s development.
However, if you are sensitive to such material, you might prefer not to be a beta reader for this manuscript.
Type of Feedback: I am seeking an honest and constructive critique—one that isn't sugarcoated but offers feedback that will genuinely help improve the work.
Key Areas Are:
1. Plot and Pacing,
2. Main Characters,
3. Dialog and Voice,
4. Worldbuilding and Setting,
5. Writing Style and Readability, and
6. Emotional and Reader Engagement.
Preferred Timeline: One to three weeks.
Critique Swap Availability: Yes
Hoping for Beta readers! This is a slow burn friends to lovers 1950's romance. She is young, and he finds out she is betrothed to an older, absurd man. His father had saved her life as a child, and they have a strong bond. He has to help and ends up marrying her. But, he is a bachelor, and vows never to marry, due to past trauma. He promises his father not to consummate their marriage, which is fine with him. He intends to have it annulled anyway. His father sends her to school, and she starts to emerge into a thinking, caring, stunning woman, and he takes note. They are thrown into situation after situation, often ending up sleeping in the same bed. As time passes their love grows, and his promises become harder to keep. He must learn the difference between love and lust, and she must decide if society's rules are within her own values, or if they are worth breaking. Some explicit s3x scenes, steamy, age gap. Heartfelt, and valuable lessons. NO AI.
Okay so I have the manuscript finished. It will be a cheesy little romance novel. I've written two versions of this chapter. I know both need more editing but which should I move forward with. Open to any other thoughts you have as well. Thanks.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/12It21Egc4e7xk7UoPAgVEPqcX--ogZ4InG1LoAgO-t4/edit?usp=drivesdk
Hello, everyone! I'm Sage Silentfire, and I... wrote a book. It's called Unroyal, and it's a queer romantasy deconstruction with bonus cosmic horror, where the Edgy Bad Boy and the Golden Boy are both kinda jerks, and the lesbian MC much prefers the Jilted Ex-Lover and the Servant Girl NPC. But it's about way more than that: it's a critique of how systems build on vices like hatred, lust for power, and greed function, and how can anyone be moral when getting people to hate you gives you power? Also, the eldritch abominations from beyond the void are really goofy weirdos who make references that the characters and often the audience doesn't understand. (They still will kill you, just not always on purpose.)
But here's the official blurb:
In a world where every kitsune in the world has their own unique power, symbolized by their tail, Iako is an oddity. Strong emotions like love or hatred towards someone gives them your power, which incentivizes people to fight and kill and hate, because hatred is so much easier to foster than love. And no country on Earth is better at sowing hatred than Iako's Nihon. Even as magic grows weaker, Nihon remains strong. But that's all about to change when Princess Heishi Iako returns from a mysterious, self-imposed exile.
Princess Iako, daughter of an influential daimyo, was born with nine physical tails, when all other infants only have one. But despite having the signifier of immense power, Iako has nothing. No matter how many peasants bled their last to a blade Iako's parents handed her, she never gained a single power. And then, at age eight, she disappeared.
But she's back now, at the Imperial Palace, with tales of a mysterious island that can grant wishes. Bored by palace life and seeking a challenge, immortal and invulnerable Emperor Korose answers her call. But not all is as it seems with this request, and soon the unprepared group of adventurers are thrust into a world where they are no longer the most powerful around – and the beings on the other side of the gates are far more dangerous than even the Immortal Warrior Emperor Korose could've dreamed of.
Iako planned all of this. She knows there is no going back. But as she bonds with the group, love threatens to derail her iron will and plan, and temptations she never imagined threaten to tear her heart apart.
Content warnings for: Murder, death including of major characters, hatred, cosmic horror, blood, various forms of body horror, harm to children, downplayed suicidal ideation, abuse, cheating/infidelity, ableism, intersexism, sexual harassment, and misogyny. More specific warnings are in the document itself, so lmk if you back out once reading them. Note that I do not dwell on the majority of these content warnings, they are mentioned in passing, but I do want to make sure no one is triggered by them.
I have a beta reader questionnaire at the end of the current document, but to summarize, I want a reader's perspective, not an editor's. I have a very nice copy editor lined up, I just want to know what you think of it in terms of how fun it was to read and what you thought of the story as a whole. What made you excited, what was boring, and especially what you want to see more of. I am an underwriter, and I need advice on what I need more of. I'd like beta readers to finish their critiques by the end of March, because I have some tight deadlines I need to meet. Sorry. If you can't do that, let me know and we can work something out. I am available for critique swap, in fact it is extremely encouraged! I love reading other people's work! I'll do it as fast as possible, too!
Here is an excerpt from the first chapter (after a prologue that explains how Iako disappeared):
The word on the street was that Hime Heishi Iako had returned.
Everyone remembered the nine-tailed princess who'd stunned the world with her magic, only to disappear at the age of eight. Tails represented power, and, supposedly, mastery of magic, and made Iako a precious princess indeed. Her parents, powerful and influential daimyos, had kept her under lock and key, only allowing the greatest magic wielders in the realms to speak to her. But one day she had vanished from her room, leaving no trace behind.
Everyone remembered the frantic search her parents had headed, plastering her face and nine tails across the realms. Even the Emperor himself had gotten out of his throne room to search. Samurai knocked on the doors of nobles and peasants alike, tearing through their houses in search of the missing princess.
Everyone remembered that no one found her.
But here, eleven years later, Heishi Iako was back, walking steadily through the Imperial City to the Imperial Palace's front gates. Her nine tails trailed behind her, immediately recognizable to everyone, as well as her feathery horns that ran in the Heishi family. She was tall, and broad, and had her mother's dark red curls, ginger fur, and white muzzle. She wore peasant's clothes, which was odd, but she probably didn't want to stand out. Barely anyone noticed the bronze eye. No one registered the countless very non-Nihonjin piercings, in her ears and eyebrows, or the gaudy, unfashionable beaded necklace around her neck. Because Hime Heishi Iako walking up to the imperial palace only meant one thing.
Magic was about to be saved.
Will's death certificate. I must have looked over it a thousand times, reading it and re-reading it, analysing every word on the page just trying to find something - anything. I feel the the words staring back at me, haunting me. I feel the coldness of them; it seeps out of the page and swirls around me like a storm. It worms its way into body like a disease, sending shivers down my back and arms. 'Cause of death: suicide'. Or so they say. But I just can’t believe it - I won't believe it. I know my brother better than anyone, he would never have done that. I don't buy it one bit, but to everyone else I'm just a girl - a child - struck with grief. They treat me like I'm less than, they look down on me just because I'm younger than them and because of their perception of me they won't listen to what I'm trying to say. It's always the same - they tell me that I just need to accept what's happened and try to move on, or they explain grief to me, like I'm a 5 year old who's pet has just died, and tell me that I'm in denial and that "it's all apart of the process". But that's not it at all. I'm just angry and so frustrated. At them for not listening at Will for leaving me all alone, and most of all, at myself for letting him leave.
Can someone tell me if this is any good or interesting. (Please be not honest)
Blurb: Faced with the death of his sister, Grayson Beausoliel has to face a family dinner with a delirious mother and an intensely passive brother. As the night proceeds, new family truths come to light, leaving Grayson a different person in this intense family drama.
I'm looking specifically for advice on pacing and the ending - please pm me if you're interested! Due to time constraints, I am looking for someone who will be able to get back to me within a week, but I am also willing to swap stories/read an excerpt of a similar length (up to 5k~ words).
Looking for beta readers for the opening of a young-adult novel. Set in a world where young women are selected from their homes to wait on a mysterious queen, the story follows a pair of sisters who try to uncover the mystery of the royal family.
Looking for general feedback on whether you think it's worth pursuing the idea or not.
The Queen is going to end up being based on the story of Elizabeth Bathory, but I'm not sure how far I'm going to go with that yet. It may end up being vampire-ish or perhaps just humans with a cruel streak.
Winter Solstice - Ailin
Of the four festivals that mark the calendar in Verna, the Winter Solstice is my favourite. The days and weeks before are each darker than the one previous, with the nights growing longer and longer, but we are so occupied with our preparations, I rarely notice the lack of light. The harvest is long over and the new crops have yet to be planted, so families come together in preparation for the Solstice celebrations. We make decorations from dried fruit and herbs, melt down old wax and tallow candles to make new lights for our windows and the sounds of winter songs are heard throughout the village. It has been my favourite time of year for as long as I can remember. Each year after the Second Equinox, I find myself eagerly awaiting the first frost that will signify the approach of the Solstice. Each week, more of the leaves on the trees turn and eventually fall completely. Each day that follows, I trace my fingers over the ice patterns on our windows, marvelling at the intricacy of the frost, its fine lines spreading over the glass like strands of glitter. In the week before the festival, the village is alive with the hum of activity. Richly fruited cakes, made with fermented apples from the year’s harvest, appear on tables, not to be touched until the shortest day. The fire pits are cleaned out, ready for the fatted pigs to be roasted. When the longest night arrives, our entire village gathers in the square around the huge fire. We eat the roast pork with our fingers, grease dripping down our chins. This is a night full of possibility; from tomorrow, each day will bring with it more and more daylight, driving out the dark. Children shriek and run through the streets with boughs of evergreen adorned with small silver bells, moving in and out of the candlelight that burns in every window. It has been more than five years since I joined them, since my hair went up and I became a young woman, but I still remember the thrill of slipping and sliding on the patches of ice between the buildings. I still remember feeling nothing but the joy of the Solstice, knowing that the morning would bring gifts and more feasting.
There was no way I could have know what would happen next. That this would be my last Solstice with my family. That when the Spring Equinox arrived, I would be Selected.
Spring Equinox - Irina
“Irina, hurry! We’ll miss it!”
My mother’s voice rises up the stairs to my bedroom and I glance over at the empty bed on the other side of the room. It’s been three years since Ailin was Selected and every morning since she left, my first thought is of my sister. I used to hope that she would suddenly appear and that I would find it had all been a terrible dream, but I wake alone every morning in the room we used to share.
Ailin had been so excited about being Selected. It was an honour, she had told me, over and over again. I had found it hard to share her enthusiasm and I still do not understand how she could have left us so… willingly.
“Irina!”
My mother sounds annoyed, but that’s nothing new where I’m concerned. Ailin was the golden child. I’m just the one she has left.
When I finally get downstairs, she’s waiting by the door. I tug on my boots, hoping that soon the rain will stop. The Equinox is usually dry, but this year, the rains have lasted longer than usual. The sky outside is blue, but the clouds in the distance threaten another shower later in the afternoon, so I grab my light cloak to wear over the dress my mother insists I wear to Selection.
“I’m here,” I say, impatiently. “Why the rush, anyway? It’s not like we need front row seats this year.”
My mother shoots me a look that could wither even the hardiest of spring plants and I duck my head, regretting my snarky comment immediately. I’m just as desperate as she is to get the village square, but pride stops me from sharing her feelings out loud. I know how hard this has been on her, but she never seems to acknowledge how hard this has been on me. Ailin is my big sister. She’d been there since the day I was born and had always been a buffer between Mother and me. My natural inclination to seek dirt and climb trees had never sat well with our mother and Ailin had stood up for me every single time I came home with another ripped pair of boots or a torn jacket. Father largely left us to our own devices; he was so often busy with his work that some months we rarely saw him. When he was home, though, it finally felt like I had a parent on my side. The odds were evened a little and mother’s icy glares seemed a little less frequent.
When Ailin had been Selected, our mother had played the role perfectly. Selection was an honour and Mother couldn’t have seemed prouder as the banners waved and Ailin made her way up to the raised platform in the village square. My sister had looked beautiful that day. She had woken early to curl her hair, and ringlets hung down each side of her face, pulled clear from the coiled braid at the nape of her neck. The sun had glinted off her blonde curls, making Ailin look more like a princess than usual. She was perfect for Selection. All the young women of the county who were Eligible wore white dresses, simple and clean, but somehow Ailin stood out amongst the others, even when dressed identically. It should have been no surprise when she was Selected. I had been too young, and so I stood in the crowd with my parents, Mother’s hand tightly gripping mine. The royal carriages had paraded through our village, as was the custom every year. We were the largest village in the region and hosted the Selection as standard. When the Prince had stepped out of the carriage, I had strained my eyes to get a good look at his mother, but as usual, the Queen stayed out of sight. All I had seen was a glimpse of her white furs and the glimmer of what must have been her diamond crown catching the rays of the sun. Every year, I hoped to see what she looked like, but on the day of Ailin’s Selection, I was disappointed once again.
Ever since I was a little girl, I had been fascinated with the Queen. The King was a public figure, seen speaking to his subjects from the palace balcony at least once a week. The Prince was at every Selection ceremony in all 5 counties of the kingdom, so although we only saw him once a year, we still saw him. And if you happened to visit the capital city, Valeta, you might be lucky enough to see him with some of the other young nobility. But the Queen – the Queen was a mystery that I ached to solve. I wanted to lay my eyes on her so desperately that as a young girl, I would climb trees to gain better vantage points on Selection days, much to my mother’s annoyance.
Now, though, my reasons for wanting to see inside the Queen’s carriage are different. I hope, each year, that maybe, just maybe Ailin will be in the carriage. That maybe the Queen will have chosen her as attendant for Selection days. My heart still cries out for her – my big sister. Three years since I last saw her and I miss her no less than I did on that first night I spent alone in our childhood bedroom. Three Selection Days with no sight of her, but this year will be different. For Ailin has served her first three years with the Queen and is now eligible to spend Selection Day with her family. Just a few hours, and then she’ll be whisked away back to the palace, but for the first time in three years, my sister is coming home.
The three-year rule had always seemed silly to me, and the three years of Ailin’s absence have been torturous. She’ll spend a few hours with us today. My mother has baked all of Ailin’s favourites and I have been saving her birthday presents in a box under her old bed. I can’t wait to see her. After today, she’ll go back to Valeta with the Queen, the Prince and this year’s Selected. Two girls chosen from each county in Verna, taken to the Capital to become part of the Royal Court. They will serve the Queen for three years before they are able to see their families again, and after they have served for five years, they will be given a choice. They will either be allowed to remain in Valeta as part of the Queen’s court or come home. If they choose to come home, they will never be allowed to marry, but will serve as attendants in the Queen’s temples, keeping the fires burning in their county. If they stay in Valeta, they will never again see their families or their home villages, but may be able to make a match with a nobleman in the capital. In all the years that I’ve been aware of Selection, not once has a girl chosen to come home once her five years have been completed.
I pray every night that Ailin will choose differently.
* * * * * *
Mother and I walk briskly to the village square. When we get to the centre, we are ushered to seats near the stage, as is our right now that Ailin has completed her three years. I find myself sitting next to a girl about my age. She’s not from my village, but she must be there for the same reason. The girl who was Selected with Ailin had been from a smaller village in our county. I hadn’t remembered her having a sister on the Selection day, but I had been so focused on Ailin that it’s no surprise.
The girl turns to look at me. On the other side of her, a tired-looking man slouches in his seat. He looks older than my mother, but he bears the same expression of sadness that my parents wore after Ailin left. We sit in the second row, as is our place as families of a third-year. In front of us sit four people: a man and woman who grip each other’s hands tightly, and two younger men. They aren’t old enough to be the parents of anyone who has been Selected and they don’t appear to be with the couple. Brothers of a Selected, perhaps? One of them is about Ailin’s age, but the other is younger, closer to mine. He turns to look as we sit down, and I turn my head, worried I’ll catch his gaze. I don’t want to give Mother any excuse to chastise me today.
Hi all! I'm looking for a beta reader for my very first novel. In short this is about the love story between an immortal woman and time traveling man. Let me know if you're interested! Thanks so much!
Synopsis: James is a journalist in the modern day and his life takes a turn when he meets Penelope. Their first encounter seems ordinary, until he wakes up 100 years in the past. There he meets Penelope again, only she hasn't aged a day. As he continues to accidentally jump between past and present, James unravels Penelope’s long, hidden history while dealing with what it means to change the past.
What I'm looking for:
Feedback on the pacing.
Are my characters compelling?
Does the dialogue feel natural or is it awkward in some places?
Overall enjoyment of the story.
Here is a blurb from the second chapter:
I wake up with a gasp.
I immediately know something is wrong. Instead of seeing the water stain on my apartment ceiling, I see a blue sky. Instead of my cushy mattress, I feel myself laying on a hard, stone like surface.
And I’m naked.
I look around to see if I can tell where I am. I’m lying in some kind of alley. To one side of me is a tall wooden fence. The other side is a brick building. I can tell that it’s an apartment building because of the fire escapes clinging to the side of it. The tenants have their clothes hanging on lines to dry.
Their clothes must be frozen solid. Temperatures were supposed to drop to freezing last night.
That’s when I notice, I don’t feel cold. There’s no harsh wind biting against my skin, and the sun is shining down from the clear blue sky. I guess the meteorologists aren’t always right, as my dad always says.
I sit up and take a look around the alley. It’s littered with trash. Empty glass bottles and cigarette butts are the main décor. I don’t see my phone anywhere.
I get to my feet and a wave of nausea hits me. I place a hand on the brick wall and my dinner of frozen pizza appears on the concrete in front of my feet.
I steady myself with a few deep breaths. I have no idea where I am or how I got here. But I need to figure it out. I see a newspaper on the ground a few inches away from my dinner. I grab it and look at it. It’s crumpled and a little torn in some places, but besides that, it’s in good shape.
It’s definitely an old paper. I can tell just by looking at it. At the top it says The Boston Daily Globe. The major headline reads “JURY IN CHAPMAN CASE ARRIVES AT NO VERDICT”. The pictures on the page are in black and white. I can tell these pictures are old based on the quality.
I look at the date.
April 4, 1925.
Synopsis: On a cold night at the old Farm, Hector, a restless and dreamy young man, escapes the family melancholy and enters the dense forest, guided by the call of the Glade and its colossal tree. There, he meets three enigmatic travelers – Auror, Aetas and Zenithor – who lead him on a journey between time and existence.
Throughout this mystical journey, Hector confronts the mysteries of life, death and destiny, while witnessing the farewell of his companions and receiving an unusual gift. Between goodbyes and revelations, he discovers a link, which like a bridge unites the present and the future.
With a narrative wrapped in symbolism and lyricism, it is a tale about memory, belonging and the true meaning of freedom.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-L-aDsT459w_vanMVzAnw1mH2BAHo0r2XhE69dwjoJc/edit
First story among 12 collected in an anthology. I need a critical and realistic assessment that will help me position this story in relevance to what it proposes. Any assessment on theme, development and cohesion, plot, linearity, rhythm, language, socio-economic-cultural context, scope, development, depth of subjective and philosophical themes, technical basis and impact.
More information in DM
Hey all, kinda new here, but I wanted to get some fresh eyes on a story I've been hammering for a couple of years now. Before I start the querying process, I'd like to just, I dunno, get a feel for how people like/hate it. Because this is a book with both grimdark and lighthearted moments fighting for control, I'd love it if you could give special attention to pacing and the overall intrigue you have. What you think of the plot, the characters, the moooood, ya dig? Before investing more of your time, this book has a fair amount of violence and a couple of scenes involving child endangerment. Nothing too much, think hostage situation. The book also deals with the issue of suicide and grief, so don't feel obligated to continue if your mental health is affected. Thanks so much for your time!
Book blurb is coming in hot!
Samuel Grend thought rescuing seven-year-old Isaella Vineberd from her abusive, power-hungry family would be a clean job: get in, get the girl, and get her across the continent. But when Isaella obliterates her captors with a whispered word, Sam realizes she isn't just some kid, but a weapon of mass destruction. As a formidable shapeshifter, he adapts to any problem, but Isaella’s magic is a force she neither controls nor understands. The Vineberds, desperate to reclaim their stolen experiment, will stop at nothing to retrieve her.
Haunted by his role in the death of his adoptive father, Sam sees a reflection of his own lost childhood in Isaella. Instead of simply running from the Vineberd's agents who relentlessly pursue them from the glittering, vice-ridden city of Kobet to the drug dens of Vecisil, he's determined to offer her the peace he once knew. His only hope lies with a mage powerful enough to help her control her volatile magic, one who carries a deadly grudge. Before Isaella can be used to level entire cities, Sam must deliver her to safety and confront the nightmares she's endured.
And then, if you're still here, comp. titles i have in the query: Fans of Andrzej Sapkowski's The Witcher series will connect with Sam's reluctant guardianship and the morally gray world he inhabits, while readers who enjoyed the camaraderie and fast-paced action of Scott Lynch's The Lies of Locke Lamora will find themselves drawn into Sam and Isaella's unlikely partnership. The story explores themes of self-forgiveness, the burden of the past, and the complex bonds of found family, set against a backdrop of political intrigue and powerful, often misunderstood magic.
EDIT: Got a poke from a robot to add a brief cut of the story so you can get an idea of the prose? Hope I'm doing this right??
Spoiler: He glanced back at the tent, surprised to see it illuminated from within. The oil lamp had been left on. With a sigh, he stood and approached the canvas flaps. He was only doing this to conserve oil and instill a sense of responsibility in her. If he took this child to the guild and tried to pawn her off on a noble family, her bad habits would reflect poorly on him. When Sam pulled back the drawstring flap, he found Isaella cowering in the heap of furs, staring intently at the little blaze of the glass bubble. She jumped as he entered, fumbling to make any number of excuses. “I forgot I left it on! I was just gonna–” “I am not keen on wasting oil as a night light,” Sam grumbled. “You forget that our supplies are limited to only what we can carry, and you carry far less than I do.” Her face fell, and her shoulders slouched. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn't mean to…” He watched her warily, but Sam felt his resolve crack as the moment passed. With Lucas's words fresh in mind, he nodded at her pitiful display and softened his voice; the ‘gentle’ approach had yielded results before. “You're afraid of the dark.” She nodded. “I get nightmares, scary ones where people scream and run from me, and they die.” At his continued silence, Isaella shivered and huddled into the pile of furs. “It's cold down there. And dark.” Sam shed his impatience like blocks of lead and sat down with a thud. “Down there,” he repeated, moving the lamp to sit between them. The scent her magic carried tasted like iron in his throat. “You mean the pyramid.” She tensed but nodded. “The Garden. It's…scary.” Sam rubbed his neck and subdued his nerves, reminded of the lessons Maxime had beaten into him. She was only a job. “You don’t remember anything about it, do you?” “Joy would take me there for medicine. To help me with my magic.” She shook her head. Fear crept throughout the tent, low and pungent as rotting flora. “It was always cold. I wake up in bed and can't get warm, no matter what I do. It's always dark.” “Judging by the color of your eyes, I’d suggest getting used to the cold,” he scoffed. She tilted her head. “Never mind all that, it's alright. You won’t have to go back there ever again. Whatever that place was, it’s just a memory now.” Isaella nodded, burrowing deeper into the furs. “I'm sorry,” she offered again. Sam felt the distinct impression that she wasn’t referring to the lamp. He stepped outside to retrieve the kettle, only returning once he could provide two cups of warm tea. “I'm the one who needs to apologize,” he sighed, handing her a cup and relieved to see her take it. “Despite my behavior and my actions, I assure you that you’ve done nothing wrong. Not today, yesterday, or this evening. The blame lies with me for trying to treat this venture as if it were a common bounty. I’m just…” Sam frowned, but Isaella came to his rescue. “You’re scared, too.” He stared at her, watching as she crawled from her little mound to sit upright. She took a big sip of tea, then made a face at its bitterness. “You like being alone ‘cause then you don’t have to worry. But you’re scared something bad’s gonna happen, and you’re stuck with…me.” He took a sip from his own cup. “Am I that easy to read?” She nodded. “You got a ‘dark place’ you don’t like too. But you remember yours.” Maybe now, traveling with anyone would feel wrong and make a mess of him. Though Isaella was still partially to blame, he wondered what else she was picking up on, and what else he wasn’t hiding. He sipped his tea. “I am scared, but I’m not ‘stuck’ with you. I chose this job, and I want to make sure you’re safe,” he reasoned, partially with himself. “I’ve…failed in the past, and people got hurt because I wasn’t strong enough.”
Hi everyone. I'm a fan of comedy, fantasy, science fiction, and books that you can tell the author had a plan for from the beginning. So I took all of those things and mushed them together into something I'm proud of.
I've been through several iterations on this story since I finished it, constantly polishing, editing, beta reading, learning, editing, rearranging, and editing. I am really close to done, I've gone through it so many times I want either self publish (advertise, get a professional editor, etc.), or to drop it and start fresh with what I've learned. To make that decision I want the opinion of... you! The good people of r/betareaders. You kings and queens who bravely slog through the early beautiful messes of amateur authors and come out the other side championing invaluable insight and advice. Do you feel flattered yet? I hope so, you deserve it, and to be honest I'm trying to butter you up. I would be appreciative of anyone willing to read it.
I've got a blurb below, I'll gladly send you the book or first chapter if you are interested! Thank you.
Like all good stories, our tale begins with an orphan, a slave, and an aerospace engineer. Two of them are aliens, or maybe the other one is the alien. I guess it just depends on your point of view. Each facing incredible danger and long odds for survival, maybe, just maybe, if they can work together, they'll get out of this alive.
A chance of birth saw Naala cursed with a power that is only of useful to the powerful. She has spent her entire life hiding what she is, enduring every humiliation and disgrace needed to keep her secret. Yet, in spite of all she has endured, someone has discovered what she is. Fated to suffer a fate worse than death, Naala prays to her people’s old gods in a desperate attempt to save herself. To her great surprise, the gods respond.
Humanity’s first, and perhaps only colony ship, has spent hundreds of years making the arduous journey to the distant habitable world of E735-2. Engineer first class Dave Samson, finally woken from his long cryo-sleep, can’t believe they still haven’t come up with a better name for planet. Realizing he is the lone crew-member awake somehow becomes only the second most concerning thing as the ship’s malfunctioning AI informs him that they are about to crash into the very planet they’ve traveled light-years to reach.
Soral is special. He doesn’t know how exactly, but he knows he is. After all, it was the last thing his parents told him before they were taken from him. And what kind of parents would lie about something like that? For the last several years he’s focused on only two things, trying to find out why his parents had been taken, and finding enough to eat. He never would have guessed that getting thrown in prison, and forced to fight in brutal gladiatorial combat, might be the solution to both of those problems. He can hardly believe his luck. Now, he just has to survive as he is pitted against monsters, mercenaries, and gods.
This story is about Evie Winston, who, along with her younger brother, gets into a car accident on her way to school.
Evie found herself in a hospital after the car crash, where she discovered that she'd been in a coma for the past year, and her brother Johnny had died.
When she is sequestered by her overprotective and dysfunctional parents, it's all too easy for her to slip away from reality, her insanity her only escape.
This is the story of a young girl's descent.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WvMkKfG1hwpTmvS312oCDUmdOilUdMAcFToO0DM8IaY/edit?usp=sharing
Hello everyone! I'm hoping to find beta readers/swap manuscripts with a few people before I start to query.
Blurb:
Paris in the age of Napoleon.
Henri is a “good” vampire. He only feeds on rats and other vermin, never humans; in fact, he avoids all human contact whatsoever, which is quite difficult to do in a city like Paris. But he is lonely, and against his better judgment befriends a woman named Claire.
When another vampire arrives in town, a bitter old crone with a secret vendetta against Henri and a deep hatred of humans, Henri must face his own nature in order to save Claire and destroy this sleepless evil forever.
Content warning: Violence, gore, violence against animals
I'm looking for general feedback on everything: pacing, character, structure, etc. How does the story flow? Does it keep you engaged?
I’m willing to swap chapters and manuscripts!
Thank you!
Hi. I'm looking for a Beta reader for my 1st book. The story revolves around a Colonol in a military that's nearly fallen apart. He's been put in charge of a outpost simply to keep him available when needed, for his skills in a particular area that nearly destroyed him. He's brought a prisoner connected to a past event that he struggles to remember or understand due to his mental health. Often refusing to see what's right in front of him cause he doubts his reality.
There are elements to the story that come with trigger warnings. Not too graphic but some may find upsetting. These include sex, alcohol abuse, reference of torture, attempted S/A, and self harm.
Im not looking for an editor at the moment. Honestly I've written the whole thing on my phone as I don't have a computer!! So formatting and spelling I'll look into once I've finished the story. Mostly I'm looking for someone to read the whole thing and let me know mostly if the ending works as I'm not sure if certain elements are cohesive enough.
"Beneath the surface of New Orleans’ vibrant chaos, a battle for souls is brewing. An ancient power, long buried beneath the city’s streets, is awakening—a force that once ruled the supernatural world and now hungers for destruction. A Werewolf Queen fights to control the beast within as she hunts for a power that could save—or destroy—her people. A Slayer, bound by duty, must choose between the city she swore to protect and the love that could save her soul. And a teenage witch, unprepared for the darkness ahead, must unlock her hidden potential—or become its next victim.
As their paths collide, the Werewolf Queen, the Slayer, and the teenage witch must forge uneasy alliances—or risk being consumed by the darkness they seek to destroy. In a city where jazz and juju collide, the battle for souls will test the limits of loyalty, love, and what it means to be human.
As an ancient evil rises from the shadows, the lines between hero and monster blur, and the city is thrown into a nightmare. In a place where the past is never truly dead, what will be left for the future? And can anyone survive the coming darkness?"
Title: SoulWell
Hi guys! This is a series I've been working on for over 20 years. I have about 170 pages of lore and probably thousands of characters within the universe I've created. I've slowly but surely been adding to this piece as my lore blossomed first. I'm looking for reassurance that I'm not mentally ill to begin with! Secondly, I'm looking for feedback. Is the blurb attention grabbing? Does it hook you? It's an urban fantasy novel, at about 55k words. My personal dream is this being the next book craze, but that's likely my ego talkin'!
I have the entire novel placed on a googledoc sheet. Please DM me if interested.
Welcome to the monthly r/BetaReaders “First Pages” thread! This is the place for authors to post the first page (~250 words) of their manuscript and optionally request feedback, with the goal of giving potential beta readers a quick snapshot of the various beta requests in this sub.
Beta readers, please take a look at the below excerpts and reach out to any users whose work you’d be interested in reading. You may also provide authors with feedback on their first page if they have opted in to a first page critique.
##Thread Rules
For your copy-and-paste, fill-in-the-blanks convenience:
Manuscript information: _____
Link to post: _____
First page critique? _____
First page: _____
Welcome to the monthly r/BetaReaders “Able to Beta” thread!
Thank you to all the beta readers who have taken the time to offer feedback to authors in this sub! In this thread, you may solicit “submissions” by sharing your preferences. Authors who are interested in critique swaps may post an offer here as well, but please keep top-level comments focused on what you’re willing to beta.
Older threads may be found here. Authors, feel free to respond to beta offers in those previous threads.
##Thread Rules
Thank you for contributing to our community!
For your copy-and-paste, fill-in-the-blanks convenience:
I am able to beta: _____
I can provide feedback on: _____
Critique swap: _____
Other info: _____
Hey everyone!
I’m looking for beta readers for my Wattpad story, Heirs of Aurous, a dark academia/romance/mystery thriller filled with secrets, power struggles, and dangerous alliances. If you enjoy elite schools, morally gray characters, and slow-burning tension, you might like this one!
Blurb:
❝ They say, who loves first, falls hardest, but what if this story is she fell first, he fell harder. ❞
Truths hurt, lies are a blasphemy in a relationship. But have you ever felt it? When everything feels like they're infinitely stretching your soul and tearing it into tiny pieces of who you once were.
For me, my past hides my mistakes, and in my future, she's the only one I see. But do I even deserve her?
For me, smiling is no better than a sin. Love seems like a punishment. Falling for someone again feels like a luxury. So why am I getting a second chance?
Love feels like a gut-wrenching feeling, all-consuming and unattainable. But is it really that far?
They say hate and love are divided by just a fine line. As they both stand on either side, and I stand in between, am I really letting go of the hand I once held dear?
She smiles, but she drowns in darkness. I could save her. But what if, instead of becoming the light to her darkness, I end up becoming the cage imprisoning her in it?
𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬, 𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦?
Content Warnings:
Violence, intimidation, and psychological manipulation
Themes of power, corruption, and revenge
Some morally gray actions by main characters
What I’m Looking For:
I’d love feedback on:
✅ Pacing – Does the story keep you engaged?
✅ Character Development – Are the protagonists/antagonists compelling?
✅ Clarity – Are any scenes confusing or need more depth?
✅ Overall Impressions – What’s working well, and what feels off?
Timeline:
I’d appreciate feedback within 1-2 weeks, but I’m flexible.
I’m open to critique swaps if you have a similar genre! Let me know, and I’d be happy to beta-read in return.
If you’re interested, comment below or DM me! I’d love to hear your thoughts and improve my story. Thanks in advance!
Hello everyone! I am looking for free beta readers for my first book "Circus of Sins" with 25 chapters. It is a dark romance/thriller that contains trigger warnings. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated as I’m hoping to publish it by the end of next month so will make any necessary changes if needed. Thank you!
description- Janie is lured into a twisted world of dark romance and depravity when she attends a mysterious traveling circus. Captured and forced into a life of torment and ecstasy, Janie must navigate the sinister intentions of the performers while uncovering the dark secrets behind everything. As she struggles to hold onto her sense of self, Janie must make choices that will determine her fate among others. Torn between her growing attraction to the enigmatic Killian and the desperate fight for her freedom.