Creep Moderator tries to impose policy forcing only F4M Dominants and Switches to submit to his character, mutes/bans everyone who argues, gets demoted, later banned for verbal abuse.

There is a server I have been a part of for several years. It is a jack of all trades writing space. Most of us are chat room era diaspora that have found our way to Discord. It is primarily a hang out space where everyone has the ability to create channels and categories to start new stories with the existing group and all you need to do is drop your character information into the characters channel, tag the channel for the story, and then jump in.

A great deal of ERP takes place within. I would venture to say a large portion of it involves kink to varying degrees in recondite occult settings. This server has a few hundred members and so it is not odd that there are many I have not had the pleasure of writing with. I would say most of us have been in the server for years. By now, most have found writers they prefer to flank in stories, this also lends itself to a reason why many of us share space without knowing one another.

Some six or so months ago, a new story was started that was in echoed homage to a chat room many of us were familiar with. There was much excitement and many joined the location using characters they have not played in decades for some nostalgic fun. I also threw in a character I have not played since I was a young girl.

My character was an ancient vampire. I would describe her as regal and stoic, modeled after the Ventrue motif, bored with modernities and so keeps to herself in her estate. She was my first Mistress character, and I was glad to dust off her cobwebs for a spell.

At once, she found herself with a demon slave boy who had come to her willingly and asked to be taken in by her (whose writer will be called Charlie henceforth). For most scenes in this story, he was there, kneeling by her side. Their relationship was and is sweet, regardless of the debauchery they get up to behind closed doors.

Here is where Master Eru joins the story. His writer, who goes by the same name (albeit as an alias per this subreddit's anonymity requirements), has been in the server longer than I have. I am familiar with him. We spoke in the chat channels often as we are both active members of the server. In this server, there are tiers to the administration, and he is a tertiary moderator, making him seventh from the top out of a ten tier hierarchy. Because there are so few MDom writers, most of them have ended up on the staff.

He too brings in an older character, one that I recognized from one of the Yahoo chat rooms. He recognized my character as well, and we had a nice time catching up.

In play, our characters became friendly acquaintances. They did not have much to say to one another most of the time, but on occasions where they both had their submissives present, they would share a drink.

I would say three weeks ago, he lost his primary submissive. I do not know the details apart that there was some drama when he began to acquire a new submissive and his partner became jealous. In the scene, his character instructed the submissive that as her Master, she did not have the right to impose exclusivity upon him. I think more happened out of character within DMs because the writer left the server right after and the new submissive he was trying to acquire went on to submit to another Master.

It was at this time that Master Eru (the character, not the writer) began seeking out my character more. Out of character we both agreed this was to create an alliance between them. He was a welcome guest at her estate and they often shared her submissive (with Charlie's consent) though not at the same time.

We had a scene two weeks past of them having "tea" on the lawn while my character's submissive sat at her feet. My character was doting on her submissive as usual, hand on his head to pet him as she spoke with Master Eru.

In the chatting channel, Master Eru commented that my character wanted his. Charlie tagged me, and I joined the conversation to correct him as it was not true. My character enjoyed his company in doses as they had some commonalities but there was no attraction whatsoever. He insisted that she had been trying to seduce him since they met. I was baffled that he thought so. Instead of arguing, I went back to the roleplay channel to finish writing my response, then continued down the line to catch up with any additional responses I owed there or elsewhere.

Days later, a new rule is added to the server positing that "all unvetted Dominants must submit to a series of training scenes to obtain a vetted role by end of December 2024," announced by none other than Master Eru. I have most servers muted but for tags and mentions, and I was tagged with my F4M-Dominant role. I was then tagged directly by name in the chatting channel asking when I would have time to begin my series.

I will remind you that in this server, nearly all of the Male Dominants in the server are staff. As staff, they were considered to be vetted automatically. The MDoms that were not on the staff were grandfathered into this new rule and none necessitated going through this process. Out of the hundreds in this server, there are plenty of other Dommes lurking around, but currently there are only two writers in action with an F4M-Dominant role. Those being myself and a woman I will affectionately refer to as Mistress Cheeky.

Mistress Cheeky and I both consider ourselves to be switches. We both have submissive characters being played elsewhere in the server. By the terms of the new policy, it was not enough that we both have shown that we are capable of playing submissive characters. We needed to have our Dominant characters submit, in RP, to one of the MDom staff members to prove that our Dominant characters knew how to safely dominate.

In play, Master Eru (the character) turns the scene on its head when he demands, unprovoked, that my character submit to him, in her own home. He orders her as though he has the authority to do so. My character refuses and tells him that should he continue making demands of the Mistress of the House, he will find himself shown the door by her men.

He tags me again in the chatting channel with a reminder of the new policy. Obviously he made this a rule so that he could force my character to replace the submissive he lost. What astounded me is that the rest of the staff went along with it. As long as I have been in there, they have always been fair as well as practical. As the policy states that this must be done before the end of December of this year, I see no need to rush, there is also nothing specifically assigning Mistress Cheeky or myself to any one of the vetted Masters.

I point out here that my character's relationship with her slave/submissive is not a strictly sexual one. The only times they have had sex were when my character was penetrating him (pegging, sounding). None of the Dominants with an F4F role were tagged in the announcement. Mistress Cheeky tagged those with the F4F-Dominant and F4F-Switch tags, along with the owner, to call attention to this oversight. Many of us are in other servers and keep this one muted but for tags. Within an hour, the chatting channel and Master Eru have been overcome with WLWs that agree that this policy is ridiculous. There are a number of submissive writers whose characters are exclusive with their Dominants that are equally outraged.

This character that I play is NOT a WLW. She also is not heterosexual. Her sexuality is something I do not feel inclined to define. She is not written to be someone who engages in penetrative PiV intercourse. I had planned on having her abide by the policy by having her submit to another writing partner who is on the staff, Master Eldritch, that knows this about her and would be willing to dominate her without penetration.

Master Eru began muting everyone who joined the channel to argue about how unfair this policy was after deleting where I tagged them. This being the middle of the day for some, early morning for others, Master Eru was the sole staff member online. Many people left or were banned. Anyone that pinged the owner or senior staff had their messages deleted and were muted. Tickets were being deleted and those that submit them, banned.

The Owner's DMs blew up with DMs from myself and many others who were muted.

Around 6:00 PDT, the rest of the staff comes online. Master Eldritch tells me that an emergency staff meeting was ordered. The policy, when Master Eru proposed it, came from a place of wanting to ensure no Dominant abuse their power with a submissive creating an unsafe environment and was intended to be optional. They had not known that he had a target in mind or that the policy would only apply to certain Dominants and not others. He was reprimanded for making a policy that only applied to Dommes that passed for hetero. He was reprimanded for making a policy about consent which took consent away from the writers it applied to. He was reprimanded for excluding the F4F Dominants and Switches in the server. Lastly, he was reprimanded for muting people who weren't breaking rules, banning people without talking to the rest of the staff, and deleting tickets.

He was demoted forthwith with a probation. The policy was repealed. There was an announcement of a heartfelt apology from the staff detailing that it did not reflect the views or intentions of the server at large.

Some of the people who left/got banned have returned, most have not. A week went by and the absolutely exquisite Mistress Cheeky was promoted to Master Eru's former position, making her the first and only Mistress writer on the staff. Master Eru (the character) is thrown out of my character's estate and promptly has his invitation rescinded from most, but not all, of the estates of the other ancients in the story.

There were still submissive writers that were willing to write with him, but Master Eru has requirements for his writing partners that most of them did not meet. He likes bulky, lengthy, severely long form responses, while the writers that were now responding to his prompts did not write this way. Master Eru (the character and writer) took on a new submissive. The partnership fell apart in under a week.

According to Master Eldritch, his new submissive's writer opened a ticket within days of them writing together including screen shots of Master Eru belittling her. He called her illiterate, a bad writer, stupid when she expressed she did not want to continue writing with him. Photos had been exchanged and since Master Eru writes as himself, his new submissive's writer realized she and her character were not attracted to him. She did not want to continue writing sexual content with him. There was fat- and slut-shaming involved. I did not see the screen shots myself.

He was banned straightaway. Another announcement apology was issued to the server at large and to the writer he was harassing. The writer of the submissive he tried to acquire at the start of this saga came forward when she got the ping regarding his departure and the apology with her own story. Master Eru demanded a photo of her. I will not repeat what he said to her when she refused and told him her reasoning. When I tell you it was transphobic and cruel, you can draw your own conclusions.

I do not have a moral for this story for you. I do however know that this self-proclaimed "Master" frequents this subreddit. I hope that he has seen this. I hope that others who know him recognize him from this story and steer clear.

To you, Eru, I want to say that you are a disgrace. You are not fit to call yourself a Master or a Dominant. You are a vile, hateful person that should be nowhere near anyone who considers themselves a submissive. If I was allowed to name you here, I would, and for that alone you are very lucky. You are not a Master, you are a fucking predator.

I just look to see if there is a proper to talk to someone about starting a nsfw RP. I've had some but have been ghosted on may others. Is there a correct way and a wrong way I need to know about. Also, what's the best nsfw roleplay sites on the Internet.

OK, I've only been roleplaying a few days now and I feel like I should just back it in. I've tried on multi subreddits to get some kind of action and so far I've been coming up dry. I will admit, I'm doing roleplay to get my rocks off, But why is it such a problem to get something start. I tried to do simple RPs and nothing happened. I messaged multi posters, sometimes seconds after they posted, and I don't get a response back, and if I do, it's only a few messages and they ghost me. Now I tried to do something more out there and most of the subreddits that are catered to that kind of stuff have super specific rules you have to follow to the letter or your post will be deleted. I'm honestly confused about this, Any place on the internet I go to is just bare bones and dead or isn't what I'm looking for. I just need genuine to understand this whole side of the internet that seemly isn't as fun as it's shown to be.

A rule against any underage characters whatsoever is unreasonable and will turn most people away. No romance? Perfectly fine. Not having them in certain situations? Also fine. But not existing in the world at all? Good luck.

I need your views on something, dear community.

I am engaged in several ERP and until now, things were good. Like everyone else, I struggled to find partners who matched my style and my expectations. Right now, I have a few ones and we are actively writing (not all together, always a duo with sepatare plots and servers).

However, within the span of 10 days, three similar situations arose and I am now wondering if I am the one to "blame" for the reaction, or if somehow, I am justified (part or fully) in my reaction.

In my list of kinks, I do have anal. I have no trouble putting my OC or canon characters into this position, giving or receiving. In our 3 rps, my characters are all girls and in the receiving end off the proverbial stick. Modern settings, like slice of life, no non-con, totally fluff into smut and spice. Never did we plan for anal / not had been discuted before hand, but why not, characters are in bed, doing other sex stuff, so why not anal?

However, it really comes out of nowhere and each time, the partner goes (in big summary) "after having fun with the vagina, he switches to ass."

So no in-rp preparations AND more importantly, no consent from character to another character. I also have to add, in rp, all girls are relatively new to bed play, while totally willing to try, and each time, ass play would be a first for them.

Each time, I reach out to my partner about the same 3 points : consent, prep and condom (this one would have been overlooked if the 2 others had been naturally put into play) because... While being a rp, I feel necessary to play it like it should be done irl. I know rp is not irl and all, but Ihatec bad writing born of... Bad cultural constructs, I suppose?

Each time, the partner changes the text or completely goes another direction (like litteraly lol) but all of 3 now give me vibes of not being happy with me sticking to reality. Since all 3 just did it, I wonder if I am reading too much into it, if I am the odd one. I confess I would feel strange playing a girl who has no issue taking a penis up the ass without enunciated consent and prep. But... Is it only me or what?

Thanks for your feelings on this.

I thought I’d share about this little exercise I’ve been doing lately on this alt because I was just somewhat really curious as to what it was like on the other side.

I haven’t made this a social experiment so there will sadly be no numbers, I guess it’s mostly thoughts and experience I’ve gathered from it that I’d like to discuss, share and maybe enlighten some people regarding the art of posting rp ads on reddit.

First off, I am a very plot with smut guy. I want to build world, characters, relationships and stuff to happen as well as sexual encounters and the repercussions from it. I’ve been rping 10+ years on and off and what usually attracts me is weird/magical erotica concepts where weird shit happens(mind control/time travel/magic spells). I am not the norm, I am not someone you’d consider hardcore nor vanilla either. i’m just a weird guy who gets off on weird things happening in usually mundane worlds.

Enough preamble, let’s get into it.

I understand that my kinks and desires makes me oftenly come off as… selfish? And I understand that. Just like every [M4F] post out there that asks for a harem, I understand how I may come across to most serious role players when I’m bunched in with so many other male role players who desires the same thing with much less effort I’d like to provide.

Most of my demands and desires may seem unappealing to most which is why my posts don’t get much responses.

On the other hand, I’ve seen alot of different ads using the [F4M] tag of varying effort bring in so many responses and activity. I was very curious so, without compromising what i like in my desires and fetishes, I’ve decided to post a few ads where i’d pass as a Fsub some with the same amount of effort i’d post and my usual desire to make stories and play long term. While others are more shorter term, just “hey come in my DMs and let’s go” kind of call to action. Here’s my findings:

-Do I have your attention now? It probably comes to no surprise that the [F4M] tag alone brings alot of replies and very oftenly a lack of forethought, regardless of you as a player and your wants or desires. The response would fluctuate depending on the demands though. Long term and demanding some ability to write a paragraph or so would bring me around 9-12 replies while my shorter term “let’s go right now!” Ads would lend me about 30-50 replies overall. All of different degrees of greetings, from respectable and introducing yourself to “I would love to cum in your hair bitch.” Even if it has anything remotely have to do with my demand. Which leads me to…

-Get in, flame out. As much as I ignored the 5% of weirdos. I’ve decided to answer to just about anyone who’d text me in chat. Regardless of greeting as long as it somewhat seemed like the person would treat me with some amount of OOC respect. Yup, even the ones that just says “hi”

Let me tell you, I feel like either reddit is built to make you ghost people or the RPing communities of reddits now have this “get in, get out.” Attitude about how rping should be handled.

Long term wise, I said i’d get about 9-12 replies and after kink sharing, character creation and everything regarding the building of rp. I’d get about 5 people through the process and perhaps 3 guys I’d actively rp the prompt with. 1 of those I told it wouldn’t work as we went on. One simply stopped being active on it and only 1 guy actively keeps rping with me the setup to this day.

Short term wise… wow. Just wow. It feels like a race. People just jump in, do whatever. If works or it doesn’t, it doesn’t matter. and i just assume they’re unto the next rp? Alot of instant rps didn’t not get much activity after the initial first talk. We’d do the rp, finished or not, I would probably never talk to them ever again.

Any added demand after entering DMs will thin out the herd immediately! Doing a short term rp demanding short replies gave me about 50 replies or so which most just vanished within the hour. 30 or so replies on a short term premise, I asked further information for kinks and characters and easily got to 9 players and when starting the rp landed me 4-5 players to go with. As the others just ghosted me immediately, some by the time I just send out the starting post!

-The advices I learned along the way

I think what I’ve learned from this is that:

-if you really want to rp on reddit, make your premise clear and a call to action directly to the reader, it makes them probably more prone to answer than just a description. Most likely than not, they will just read that and rarely the text inside. (Even if you ask them to in parentheses) those who do read inside are usually more worth it to interact than not.

-Please, if any subs are out here, PLEASE do talk with your doms(mostly MDoms) about what you want. I don’t know if it’s because I am a dom myself and I am considerate of the partners I play with but alot AND I MEAN ALOT of guy doms just let’s the power trip get to their heads and that’s when they get really selfish in a shitty way. It started to make me understand how I may come across as in my ads if there’s so many dudes just… being the way they are the second power is given to them unchecked.

-Because of this exercise, I get less in my head about the anxiety of being answered to. I understand now that filtering 30 or so possible rp partners means you’ll clearly find some you enjoy more than others and it’s maybe not my fault if they decided to not reply. Maybe they have too many replies and can only deal with the 5 first. Answering everyone and trying to get everyone through the rping process was a chore with so many answers. You don’t get to sink in everyone until it becomes something more manageable.

-Reddit is built in a way that you want to seek the next person and never want to settle down. Why commit to one person you do mid rping with when you can just jump to the next ad and partner that hopefully clicks with you on a better level?

Conclusion: Reddit will still be the place I seek rps for. Even if I just told you everything as to why you shouldn’t. I feel like the people I’ve met here that are worth my time made all the shit I had to go through less… shit.

For every nine I decide to go down the stairs posts. There’s one person I can have conversations with and understand what I’m seeking in the rp we’re both doing. Honestly, just try to come off as genuine and yourself and you’ll be surprised at how much higher quality what you’re seeking will be.

Say sorry and decide to move on to the people you don’t want to rp with, it will save you the hassle, most of the time.

I really hope this post somewhat helps someone. I feel like a lot of what I say or advise are “duh, of course!” Things but Who knows, maybe it’s a perspective or words you needed to hear. That and I feel like a lot of guys who don’t read this sub reddit desperately need to look within themselves and discover what I just said on their own.

Love you all, have a great day! Bye!

So this one just happened in an MMO.

Been RPing with someone for several days, toying with relationship RP. Nothing monogamous, nothing even sexual. I know they have other partners. One even approached in the middle of a scene today and invited me to their club.

After RPing privately for a short time, my partner tells me they need to go to sleep, and ends our scene before it is finished. No worries, can always pick back up. After receiving the invitation, I'm curious to see what the club this other person invited me to looks like, so I teleport over there to take a peek. Except they were there, and I wasn't expecting them. It wasn't my intention to RP further, so just took a quick look at the outside before going to leave.

As I'm leaving, I see my partner RP walking up to the location. I walk right up and tell them it's not okay to lie to me like that, and to please not do it again. They insist they were just "coming to say goodnight", and then brings the friend into it:

Partner: "I was just coming to say goodnight, right?"
Partner's Friend: "Yes."
Partner: "I was not lying."

The partner logs out, frustrated at me. I get a DM from the friend to "stop harassing their friend".

I speak a bit further with them in Discord, saying perhaps I misunderstood but asking if they can understand why it looks bad on the outside. They say that it was disrespectful of me to question their integrity and that our RP is now concluded.

Was I wrong to confront them?

So, this has freshly happened.

Imagine it's a fresh rp person sou stumble upon , sou vibe together a bit and they start being a bit mysterious of whom they are.

Aka i use my rp name on multiple platforms, i was a bit annoyed of such since they thought it would have been a funny introduction, even after i guessed who they were and pointed it out it became a sorta play , going into weird like attempts of trying to make me any sort of curios , which i wasnt as the person stated we haven't chatted before at all , just by chance were in the same chatroom and by occasion in a specific Discord together where that initial first chat started.

I was after all that a bit fairly annoyed but brushed it off after thinking we all have our own funny sides or ways to get to know someone,

Fast forward a bit kinks aligned and figuring out we both were switches stated he seemed to be one aswell i saw a few things that I'd would point out as red flags, which were "overly buff and tall Charackter they played like 10ft tall"
An attitude to bring the situation more into the favour of them domming while things clearly were more the other way around , and much so planned to be , as there was talks of punishment and them being more of a toy for an disclosed amount of time,

I won't lie kinks aligned and it had its fun , but i had to pull the plug and bring a hard stop in when they said.

"Let me bend you down and show you how to truly dom someone"

It felt like getting spit in the face , and to be fair , statements like that truly hurt, everyone has their own way of domming and/or subbing, and degrading the likes of that , do people just say that lightheartedly? Is that a taboo or not?

Right after that i felt very uneasy and uncomfortable and just had to stop it from then and there, but now they are calling me rude, unfair and as if i just used them, which is not what I was intending.

Im rather at a loss for words while they had shortly after a temper of having all "screenshotted" and with the words "I'm keeping this in case you screw me over again" , seeing im in some same chatrooms and discord with them , which honestly looked like a blackmailing attempt in the coming , as another red flag on the counter.

Am i in the right to have said, stop and end the RP right then and there?

Edit: I'm putting this at the top so it's the first thing seen. I fucked up. No two ways about it, I misremembered, and accidentally mischaracterized what went down. And that's on me, fully and entirely. I deserve the downvotes, the criticism, and being called a liar because I did. Not intentionally, but I did regardless. I messed up bad, and I'm so, so sorry to the other person. You handled it all far better than me, and I can't apologize enough for that.

Got a strange one here for you all!

So I started talking about a roleplay with someone about a month ago, and we seemed to have promise in terms of matching up with our skill-levels. At one point I got a bit tipsy on a drink and explained as such to them, we chatted for a bit longer, then I went to bed and sent a 'Morning!' Type message the next day, never heard back from them.

I then sent another message a few days ago for the heck of it, maybe they just lost the message after two weeks.

NOPE. Apparently, they thought that I had lost interest, somehow, despite me sending a message the next day to break the ice into a new conversation for that day. I explained as such, and they were just like 'oh, should I resend the last big message I sent?' Or something to that effect, and I said yeah sure, but also expressed that I wasn't trying to be a jerk or anything about it all, I was just really confused how I could be thought to have been showing a lack of interest when I was waiting for a reply from them.

I hid the chat so all of this is just from memory, so I'm probably misremembering stuff, but I think the next thing that was said was to the effect of 'I don't think were going to be a good fit, sorry.'

Like.... that's just so, so incredibly frustrating to have someone think you lost interest when you were the last one to send a message, like how am I supposed to react to that? Did I actually mess up in all of this somehow, did they mess up, are neither of us at fault? I get it, like sometimes people don't mesh well as partners, but this just doesn't feel like that.

I'm a native spanish speaker, a few years ago i used to roleplay a lot with my friends on discord, but none of them are available. I have been seriously considering trying these subreddits, but i fear that my english sounds robotic or my writing style is just plain bad.

Are non-native rp partners a dealbreaker for you? how and where can i start? i'm completely new to roleplaying subreddits and not gonna lie,i'm quite scared of what i can find.

Not sure if this is a unique or universal experience but—has anyone had that RP partner you’ve really liked, wrote for a while with, then one day they vanish and like years (and I mean years) later they come back to profusely apologize, ask to RP again before vanishing permanently after a couple days?

I understand ghosting early on/before the RP really takes off but it’s always someone that I rp’d with on the long-term and chatted with OOC for a long while, maybe months to a year or so and they always vanish out of the blue one day to come back literally years later talking about how much of a great partner I am, how they loved our story but just got busy with life, are ready to roleplay again—which I think is commendable to a degree. It takes some guts to reach out to someone you ghosted ages ago and ask for a second chance—but then they always vanish for good this time after only a few days of discussion or right before we start again.

I’m just so confused why anyone would go through all that effort to not actually mean it. What was the point.

Y’all I just got banned from a subreddit for “submitting a post that was too short and deleting to repost.” The issue was I wrote my post our, Reddit deleted HALF of the body of the post and it was auto deleted for being too short. So I asked to fix it and got banned instead?

How does that work?

So I guess this is a specific rant/vent.

Replying to a prompt and I know you’re inundated with tons of answers and DMs and posts on it.

But has anyone else answered a post or sent a DM and not received a single answer??

Seems like it’s happening to me more and more….

guys… how do you genuinely reply when ur partner is mischaracterizing their muse so BAD u cringe everytime you read it? and, bumping this up with: should I even bother to reply? this rp partner of mine is a long time friend, we’ve been roleplaying for like over a year now and her writing hasn’t been hitting lately. I feel REALLY bad because she waited for me to get out of my depression slump to continue our rp’s, is it okay to tell them straight up? I’d really hate to hurt her feelings 😭😭 my fault for getting attached I guess.

So, I recently came back after a whole year of stepping away from Reddit due to it being, well, Reddit. I've found that it's gotten extremely toxic over the years but even more-so as of late (around the beginning of 2023 to now). From the severe lack of communication between potential partners, to many subreddit mods having extremely obnoxious egos due to that small amount of power over others getting to their heads or them not actually understanding how they should act in such a position... It really got to me. So I focused on my life and myself. Though after coming back about a month ago to genuine story writing compared to how I was in the past, I'm finding that it's actually gotten worse to try and express myself as a creator.

I've changed my posts to be respective of the subreddit it goes to all while maintaining the important information needed to find the partners I'm seeking. But, I've noticed that many mods (new ones added to the team from what I've seen or outright replacing the old staff) have become nit-picky over pointless things, some even going to the point of: "I don't like you or your post, so I'm simply removing it due to that".

I'm a half erotica, half story writer. Fanfictions and doujinshi that have plot are pretty much what I grew up with as a writer, and it's what I love. I don't like posting to ERP subreddits because, well, it's mostly people looking to write one or a few paragraphs and usually it's short term. Meanwhile, more genuine writing subreddits won't even let you breathe if you include anything 'adult' in your posts.

So, I'm wondering about what I should do. There's also the new fact that I learned from Substantial_Bill2277's post regarding raceplay, which I hadn't ever thought about until now and I'm BIPOC. (No wonder why my fem POC OC got more attention than my male...)

I've joined a forum in the meantime while I figure out what subreddits out there might be viable to move to, and so far it's going better than I expected. Though, it's still significantly less than what I'm used to. I prefer Reddit rather than an obscure forum because the searchability is better for people who may not have an account. And there's just the fact that Reddit is popular, so the more people, the better. I'd like to know where I can go and what I can do in order to find the partners I'm seeking. Because I refuse to be stuck under abusers of power that are stifiling something that I hold dear.

[Marked ERP because it will include both ERP and non-ERP experiences on the topic!]

I noticed it's become a topic of discussion here to talk about writing as a PoC in roleplay, and as a black woman who writes in various scenes I just wanted to add what I noticed for myself, and from others in my couple years of roleplaying.

—> I get way more interest in my posts if they aren't fantasy based and modern. When I post modern settings, my influx of replies increases, quality is often split, and it will typically include a good chunk of raceplay requests.

—> Slavery settings "somehow" are an exception to the previous statement. Wonder why, lol.

—> People do request interracial instead of raceplay, so it isn't everyone.

—> I will be asked to play a black dominant character at least once.

—> Replies decrease when I try world building and fantasy type prompts. I believe this is in part because there is less interest in fantasy in general around the scenes I typically look, though replying to posts and making them are less likely to result in much if it's fantasy.

—> OOC conversations can get WEIRD. And DO. You don't want to know...

—> I've always wanted to do Viking and period roleplays set in different continents and countries with my characters maintaining dark skin, but despite the space being all about creative writing... Very terrified to even try!

—> On occasion, I come across roleplayers who begin using "black slang" in their character's vocabulary...

—> The more polite I am during disagreement, the more rude the other person is. This may result in racism, and has many times. Very awkward.

Now to consider another's experience for just one moment as it's something I've noticed and it's made me a little sad;

—> Asian, male roleplayers ALWAYS ask me if I would prefer them play a white or different race of character. I've never had any group (I've played with characters and roleplayers of different races and genders) do this as frequently with me. I never request it, I always tell everyone to play whatever they're comfortable with.

A note of positivity? I've some of the best roleplay partners come from my searches, and there certainly are people who care less about the color of your character and more about the content of the roleplay... Ah, can't believe I just typed that.

This isn't exactly ghosting, but in some way I think it might actually be worse.

I am ghost friendly. I will let you maintain radio silence for days & then wish you the best move on. No drama, no pushing for replies. I won't delete the server or unfriend you either. If you don't wanna reply you don't have to. I'm not even upset about it. People don't have to write with me - it's all fine.

BUT, one thing does grind my gears, and that's the partners who will pop up every few weeks/months to inform me that "hey I got a lot of free time suddenly I'll write a reply any minute now!"

And then they just don't. Like okay, maybe you don't have the time to RP anymore or you lost interest. It's fine, it happens, but OMFG what is with coming back every few weeks to yank my chain with a reply that never comes? You wanna ghost - great. You wanna ask me how I'm doing OOC - also great. WTF is with these unfulfilled promises of a reply? Either write with me or don't, but just... stop randomly promising a reply that never comes.

Welcome to the weekly megathread. Due to over-posting of the "Ghosting" topic, we've moved it to a separate weekly thread. This thread will repost every Sunday at 6AM Central. Please keep all stories about ghosting to this thread. All other subreddit rules apply.

Okay, I’ll bite. And I’ll admit that this post is a two-for-one combo that I think go hand-in-hand so here they are, packaged into a bundle for your perusal. Disclaimer that I don’t judge people for doing any of this, I’m just curious about why and want to know more.

I’ve noticed people using “lines” as a unit of measurement for reply length across Discord and Reddit, and only really noticed it these past couple of years. So someone might say “Replies need to be at least 5 lines”, with some adding “on mobile” for some level of clarification. When did this start happening in favor of using sentences or paragraphs as a unit of measurement for reply length and why?

I promise I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with it if that makes sense for people. I’m just curious about why this is a thing. Some speculation from me is that “5 lines” might feel like a more solid unit of measurement (ignoring different text and screen sizes) versus sentences, since a sentence can be as short as a word if you really want to get into it, so that holds an RP partner to a more definitive quantity of reply length, maybe?

On the same sort of note, what is up with levels of “literate” describing reply lengths? People say “I am semi to advanced-lit” in their ads, and I have gleaned enough context to understand that yes, it’s about reply length, but “literate” in the common context usually just means “able to read”. It just strikes me as silly at first glance.

Maybe I’m showing my age here, but we used to describe reply length with one-liner, multi-para (multiple paragraphs), and novella. There were probably a couple other categorizations that I can’t recall as well.

Can someone explain what semi-literate, advanced literate, and any other categorizations I might have missed? For my understanding and maybe some context for any new people coming into RP.

TL;DR: Why do people use “lines” as a unit of measurement for reply length? Why do people use “literate” to describe reply lengths? What do the different levels of “literate” mean? (eg: semi-literate, literate, advanced literate, etc.)

So there's a guy I've been writing with for about 6 months now. It's been great, I loved it and he said the same!

About two weeks ago he had to take a break due to life stuff. No big deal. Couple of days later he said life stuff was still happening, so he'll reply as soon as he can. Alright, I can wait. But as of this moment I still haven't received a word from him.

I checked his profile and see that he has posted the same prompt I replied to 6 months ago twice in the past few days, instead of continuing our RP. I know he has been looking for other RP partners with that same prompt this whole time, even posting it as we were actively writing a couple of times. I never made a big deal out of it because he was still replying to me in a span of a day or two or let me know he was busy. He didn't flat out ignore our RP for a prolonged period while looking for someone else before.

So what's the best course of action here? Am I being ghosted? Should I ask him if he wants to continue or should I just accept he's not interested anymore?

Raceplay and/or race fetishization.

It's a fairly common kink, while also being a common limit for most people. Unfortunately, due to this, a lot of people just assume you're going for a raceplay thing and just insta-block or ghost.

As a black woman, even I took a while to play black characters, for the simple fact that every time I seemed to bring it up, raceplay was brought up as well. Eventually, I got past it and made a black character, but noticed they weren't getting much if any attention. However, things changed drastically when I pointed out my character was not intended solely for raceplay and was just a character who happened to be black.

Happens to every race, so I recommend taking this advice with any POC original character but it's important to note that black people are very sexualized in the media in all sorts of ways and whether we want to acknowledge this or not, this extends to people's perceptions of us in lots of different and unexpected aspects.
Moreover, lots of black characters in the ERP scene are played by white people, which results in very racist writing at times. This isn't to say a white person can't write a black person, I know for a fact that they can, but when it comes to ERP, black characters sort of just become caricatures.

So keep in mind that most ghosts and blocks (at least in ERP) are done less out of racism and more out of being uncomfortable with racism. Obviously, the same can't be said for regular roleplayers. Racism still is a very real thing in general.
However, speaking from personal experience, when it comes to ERP, there are likely less racists than you think their are. Lots of people are literally just scared of encountering racism. I've been guilty of leaving as soon as I see a character is black for this same reason - because it's usually a bunch of raceplay fetish stuff that makes me uncomfortable, especially as a woman of color myself.

So that's my advice. Try to make it as clear as possible to the other party that you're not making a character black solely for fetishistic purposes. You'll still have some people who ghost or block, but not as many as you did previously.

Also, no hate to anyone who does hardcore raceplay or anything like that. I'm not into it, but as long as it doesn't extend to real life, I could care less what anyone writes.