How's it been running your server? What are some of the struggles you've experienced yourself or seen in other servers? Is there any advice you'd give to others looking to start their own server?

I’m gonna scream and hit someone. It’s so annoying. No I won’t and you endless porn and write multiple paragraphs while you go “oh yeah and I have sex with you”

Had someone send a request demanding I DM them and when I expressed confusion they said I was “fucking talking back” and should “grovel and apologize”.

I’m assuming they were responding in character but it was pretty weird.

Does this actually work for people? I can’t imagine that a lot of people enjoy that.

I responded to an ad for a hypno ERP, and it was super vague, one of those "hey, I really want to do a hypno RP. We can work out the details in DM!"

You'd think I'd know better.

I sent my details and kinks and limits, an outline for an idea, and got back, "oh, that's really great, send me a starter." So I did. Several paragraphs, not a TLDR post imo, but a solid setup. After a while I got back a reply that mirrored what l'd just written. Nothing else. Nothing to advance the plot. It was as if I wrote, "I saw you walking into the shop," and all I got back was, “I walked into the shop."

So I wrote the next bit hoping to get the ball rolling... and got more of the same.

I really love this hobby. I've had some great partners over the years. But this "we can work it out in DM" scam makes me feel like Charlie Brown and the football! I have got to stop falling for it! It was YOUR AD, for crying out loud. I’d like to tell a story WITH you, not FOR you.

Hello.

I'm Charlie, 19 years old, I tried to join a rp server in the Marvel universe because I started to read some comic books recently, since a real life friend adviced me one. And they kinda grew on me, lol. But the first time I roleplayed with someone in this scene was... eh.

I made a character/OC that we will call "Valerie", she was basically an infiltration expert who used to be in the CIA before being transfered to S.H.I.E.L.D. after an exchange program (I just like infiltrators). I hopped in the "looking for rp" channel and requested for a thread while showing her doc, so people would know who she is.

To wait until that happened, I started to interact in the group chat sections of the server with Valerie. And the first character I interacted with was a Deadpool. For some reasons, he started to make several sexual comments about my character... out of the blue, when she just say 'Hey there'. As someone who read one Deadpool comic run, I do agree that he is very silly, quirky and irreverent (in a funny way)... but I for sure DON'T remember of him being a creep. And also, Deadpool was more deep than that, for example, he has a whole thing of hiding his pain with humor, so it's just a facade normally, in the comics.

Anyway, the Deadpool roleplayer then replied to my "looking for rp" request. I was kinda put off by his behavior with Deadpool in the roleplay chat, but I said yes regardless since nobody answered except him. The plot was Valerie recovering an experimental CIA weapon they had lost in Syria for S.H.I.E.L.D. while Deadpool was hired by someone else to get the weapon as well. And guess what ? He started to make obnoxious comments about Valerie's body, inappropriate gestures and such (I won't repeat what he said because that'd be NSFW).

But fear not, he didn't stop here ! The Deadpool roleplayer started to say stuff like "I'm going to relax Valerie" in OOC channels such as general, for example.

I complained to the staff about him, because it was too much. When the admins told him to stop in the general channel, he kept spamming "chimichanga"... which ended in him being stripped of Deadpool because he was just too much to deal with. He was eventually banned after I pointed the stuff he did in our roleplay.

That was the story of the creepy Deadpool roleplayer.

For context this isn’t about roleplaying, well it is, but this is about the people on here that post. Why is it that people can’t take constructive criticism? Why is it that if you don’t agree with OP’s post then OP will just block you, or delete their post.

Someone of you trying to blame the other person for being wrong which is valid but some of you guys just don’t also understand that your the issue.

After dozens of times replying to posts that ask for a RP that you know you can do and would enjoy, you finally get a response, and the RP starts flowing... and it's great! So great that even the OOC chatter gives you the idea that you may have made a new friend for life. But after a week or four, one of three things happens:

1. (after a long delay in responding) "Hey, sorry, but things are crazy on my end. I'll post more when I can." -followed by a few lackluster posts separated by days, and then they only respond occasionally to check-ins...

2. (after a long delay in responding) "Hey, sorry, but I'm going to have to take a hiatus from the game, no hard feelings, okay?" -followed by nothing ever...

3. (after a long delay in responding... well, nothing, because they ghost.)

Why is is so common in this world for role players to write what my character is doing?! Like, if I provide a pic, sure, describe how they look to you, but why describe what my oc is doing or any part of the interaction that isn’t yours at all?

It puts constraints on my character and what I can do with them. It turns the story till it’s just not fun after a while. It makes me have less trust, too, and it feels like an obvious no. Is this not a common rule? It certainly feels like common sense. This is collaborative writing, not the you-story featuring side characters. I am not a byway through which you write your own tale. This is an us story when it comes to our interactions, and I need the freedom to make my own decisions.

And like, if my character acting is required for you to finish your post, like in a high action sequence or if the action needed is minor enough, just ASK ME. Just ask me what they’d do. Ask me if it’s okay. COMMUNICATE. Holy mother of all things fuck, stop assuming when you literally JUST met the character.

Wow, im irritated.

To me there is a misconceptions and misunderstandings going on with some roleplayers when it comes to availability, life & Family time constraints, other priorities and hobbies. Below are some of them (many intertwine). I'm not saying everyone thinks like this but I've seen enough comments and statements saying exactly these things.

1. Starting an RP means that the person has unlimited free time to reply at all hours.

However nothing about time frames or response times was discussed or the discussion was vague leading to A LOT of assumptions that neither bothered to confirm.

2. Seeing a person online means that they have free time to post.

Sometimes people aren't in the right mind set to write. Sometimes they just aren't in the mood or don't have an idea that works for the RP. Also people have more than one reason to be online and with a lot of apps and websites unless the person logged out it might just be showing them online. And even if they are playing a game, listening to music or doing something else online it doesn't mean that they are ignoring the roleplay. This is yet again something that could be resolved by just properly talking in the beginning.

3. They should tell you exactly what they are doing and\or exactly why they are away or can't roleplay as usual because they are making you wait. Firstly no one is making you wait.

This is always problematic. If someone says they are busy or has stuff going on. Take it at face value. No one is required to give a play by play of why they aren't available, however that doesn't mean they should be a dick about it or that they shouldn't take a moment to say they will be too busy or that they have stuff going on. Of course there will be times that's not possible and usually those who couldn't will say something once they are able. However some people are just private and are not going to go into detail whatsoever.

4. If they take to long they've lost interest. If they were still interested they would make time.

Not necessarily. For some people sure that's the reason but sometimes people have stuff come up and because of it they genuinely forget. Whether it was loss, illness, work, school, etc anyone can have something become time consuming and lose track of things. Usually those will come back and apologize or say something but usually before that happens the other person has left.

5. They are wasting my time because I saw other ads up by them but they are responding slow to ours or not at all.

This one is tricky. Sometimes a person has other ideas they want to try out. In most cases they aren't going to ask someone they are already roleplaying with. This is where a non-accusatory conversation would be helpful. If people end up on the defense, the conversation is not going to go anywhere.

6. They must be lying about not having time. (I'd say 8-9 times out of ten they aren't.). There are so many reasons a person may not have time, be to busy or have forgotten. I hate to put it this way but why is someone not having time to reply treated like a lover with a secret? Not everyone is willing to into full detail about why they aren't available. It could be life, work, school, family, health, etc. the only thing I suggest about it is when they do have a moment to simply say they don't have the time currently. However regardless of that people have a choice to continue the RP or move on if they prefer and as the person who doesn't have the time they should understand that aspect as well.

7. There's no reason they can't reply more, they used to, or did so at some points during the roleplay. When someone has more time to roleplay they tend to reply more and maybe even more than agreed upon however when that isn't an option they will reply less. I know many people jump to the person losing interest or being lazy but sometimes it really isnt that at all. Sometimes people have more times for hobbies sometimes they don't. Sometimes. A new game or book or tv show came out and they are engrossed. It's fine for a person to enjoy more than just roleplay. However this is another time frame where I would suggest mentioning being focused on something else. Which is fine by the way. People have multiple interests. They won't always be focused on just roleplay.

8. They don't reply fast enough and we agreed on [insert response time here]

this one almost always due to the discussion about response times being vague prior to starting the roleplay. If you're the type that is fine when people respond when they can it doesn't really matter. Out side of that Rapid reply is vague, rapid fire is vague, a few replies a week is vague. Basically if you didn't go into any detail or give some type of idea of what you are able to do or your expectations of others it is vague. Example (I'm giving ranges): response time 1-5 posts per week, on certain days, per day, per night, set time of day\night, or what ever works for you. Or if you reply sporadically just say so don't agree to what you can't really keep up with. Time zones should be discussed else people run the assumption of the same time zone and that leads to other assumptions with response time expectations. Of course it doesn't mean that what is discussed will always be plausible so sometimes adjustments would be made.

But honestly just talk about timing. The more honest people are about how much they are able to do comfortably the less incompatibility due to time constrainst\expectations would be the cause of ending some roleplays. (Clearly they are plenty of other reasons it happens. But I'm just focused on timing. )

I (23F) have been roleplaying with an older guy (24M) for a month now. He has this hot and cold treatment where he is sometimes too nice and sometimes avoidant.

So we did an rp 2 weeks ago and he liked it very much. Next morning we talked a bit but he was not very interested. We didn't talk much during the whole week. And the next week he was on a work trip so he didn't came online. This week he comes online and didn't reply to the one text I had sent him during the previous week. Though he was online. The guy was pretty good at roleplaying soI thought I did something wrong and panicked. I sent him a bunch of texts asking what's wrong. He didn't reply. But then he came online at night and said I was clingy, and unfriended me.

What is he trying to do here? I'm friends with a previous rp partner of his, and she said he had done the same for her too? Am I clingy for sending a bunch of texts after he ghosted me for 2 weeks?

Edit: when we first started rp ing, I was someone who did rp only with minimum ooc chats. It was his idea that he wanted ooc and wanted us to be friends. And once we become friends, he does this!

I've been tasked with writing up the starter to a roleplay. After not having done so in the past 3 hours (after mentally trying to do so) i decided, "let me ask ChatGPT. At least I'll get a bit of an idea how I want to do this."

So I write up the description of what I want to type, give that to the Ai, and watch it seamlessly write 6 paragraphs that reads like a novel.

How, just how. How am I supposed to actually write my own starter when good writing can just be spewed out instantly? The urge to just copy paste is...only there because I want to be rid the problem of not being able to write the starter. But if I'm physically not the one writing it, what's the point of roleplaying?- which is why I haven't actually done that.

Edit: The starter has been written. I needed a nap to just chill out. Then wrote in my trusty notes app, away from Discord, so I could write separate parts of the starter as need be. And honestly, the chatgpt response helped in the way of "that's now what i want my starter to look like". So yee, all me for the starter.

About to abandon an rp and I just wanted to see if anyone else has struggled with this before. Maybe I'm just a picky piece of shit, but I wanted to check. Basically as the title says. This guy put an ad out, I responded, and he seemed so upbeat at first. I was really excited! We talk a bit more, and he seems super enthusiastic about getting started, so we get to planning, and silence. For days, now.

Life happens. If you suddenly have to drop an rp, there's nothing wrong with that. People get busy. I'm a busy person, I get it. But like can we please just be upfront instead of coming back every three days and being like "sorry for not messaging" and then going back to silence?

He then sits down, sees my message asking him if he had any ideas in mind or if there was anything he wanted to try. His response?

"I'm good with anything!"

That, to a lot of rpers, is the equivalent to someone holding up an exit sign and pointing to the door. If you're not going to contribute to an rp you wanted to do then what is even the point?

So I'm leaving. I already know that if the time even comes to get started, if he sends any replies then they'll be copied from chatgpt. I feel like that's a reasonable prediction. If you won't put effort into planning, then it's not unreasonable to expect that you won't put any effort into responses.

I honestly should have known better. I'm too experienced to not know better at this point.

If it feels too good to be true, there is a 99% chance that it is.

I was working to set up a new rp with someone and they weren't giving much response but I said to myself maybe they aren't much of an ooc talker. Then their oc had no form and no info besides name and being part Animal. So I asked how much they write befofe continuing cause I worried they didn't write much. They said many paragraphs and matching partners when needed.

I sent 6 paragraphs for my oc alone (they said they'd start their side) so I expected 1-6 for their oc AND my ocs crush.

They sent a bulk paragraph with no punctuation besides " and it was their oc and my crush mixed together.

The plus side is i politely said i couldn't continue and they accepted but why not say you don't write more than a paragraph!?! Why do people lie?? My add even said i do 3-10 paragraphs!

So, as a disclaimer, I mostly roleplay in groups and had done so exclusively for about the last ten years, so seeing ads for 1x1 roleplays is kind of new for me. I've noticed ads where people as for a specific gender of not the characters but the roleplayer. I've seen it in two forms, either women asking for female or non binary partners only (specifying they aren't comfortable playing with men) or men asking for female partners with no explanation. It's the later that confuses me. I have yet to see an ad asking for a male roleplay partner.

I don't know. It gives me bad vibes that I'm going to get hit on if I reply to those types of posts. But, I wanna give them the benefits of the doubt. Does anyone look exclusively for roleplay partners of a certain gender, or do you know anyone who does? Is there a specific reason for it?

I used to roleplay on Reddit two to three years ago. I had niche interests, and it wasn’t easy getting a talented semi-lit to lit roleplayer. But it’s impossible now for me, and I just had a thought.

Is it because most of those detailed roleplayers are now just roleplaying with AI?

Because that’s exactly what I did.

I like writing a lot, but I mostly like coming up with unique ideas, and I just tell the AI I pay every month to dramatize the scene and emphasize the things I really enjoy. And, with the current models today, I don’t think any human could capture what I’m into or my vision as well. Just no way to compete against 4-o, for example.

So why did I decide to wade back into human roleplaying? Because I was doing AI roleplaying. It’s awesome for the reasons I stated.

But AI doesn’t give a shit about the story lol. It’s all to entertain me, but I missed the days when I would write something that would entertain someone else. Make them feel things, and I got to see their reactions to my story firsthand.

So I’ve been trying to get back into roleplaying the past week or so, but that community of advanced lit roleplayers seems to be gone, don’t you think?

So like it says in the title, I'm worried that one of my roleplaying friends (who I'll call "June") might be avoiding me, because of a conversation that happened between us towards the end of last week. But at the same time, I don't want to be presumptuous and assume that June being offline for the past couple of days has anything to do with me.

Basically what happened was, June was talking about some new OC that she was making up. And she was saying, "I'm thinking that this character is questioning their gender identity, so right now they consider themselves nonbinary, but they're also thinking that they might be transgender, as in male to female."

And I was confused by her phrasing because it sounded like she was speaking from how she saw trans identities, so I was like, "Nonbinary is also a transgender identity, though; like, it's still its own identity and not just a middle point for people who are unsure about their gender identity."

Then June started saying how it seemed like I was policing her words and how it seemed like I was trying to dictate how her character should identify?? Which I definitely wasn't trying to do. So I tried to explain my thought process by saying, "No, I was just confused as to why you felt the need to distinguish being nonbinary from being transgender, as if nonbinary isn't already a transgender identity. But now I know you were just explaining your character's perception of being trans, not your own perception."

But June was still really upset about it even after I explained that, and she was going on about it like I was actively trying to be mean, which... I wasn't trying to do at all, I was just confused by the way she phrased it like I said. And I definitely wasn't trying to accuse her of being transphobic or anything, I just didn't realize that June was speaking from her character's perspective - like she was saying that her character views gender as being very binary, as in only being male and female. I just didn't realize that's what she meant because of how she phrased it.

Eventually, I was just like, "Look, I already explained my thought process to you, so if you're still feeling like I was being controlling about what you say or how you write your characters, then those feelings are more of a you thing at this point." And that was when our mutual friend (who I'll call "Oz") spoke up to be like, "Bro, don't make this weird, you basically accused June of being transphobic and now you're making it about her being sensitive??"

Now it's been about five days since then, and neither June nor Oz have said anything in our group chat since that conversation. Oz hasn't been super active lately because of their own personal stuff, which was going on even before all of this, so I'm not concerned about him avoiding me. But June has been radio silent ever since then, and she's usually the one who's always popping in to say something at any hour of the day - she usually doesn't go this long without sending at least one message in the chat, so that's part of why I was starting to get worried about her possibly avoiding me.

I just don't know if I should ask June if she actually is avoiding me. I guess I'm mostly worried that she might just get more upset or something, or that she'll act like I'm being self-centered for thinking her radio silence is related to me.