/r/B_Ark

Photograph via snooOG

Useless professions: Middlemen, Hairdressers, tired TV producers, insurance salesmen, personnel officers, security guards, public relations executives, management consultants, Telephone Sanitisers, Marketing executives, etc.

Inspired by Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (H2G2)

 

http://www.geoffwilkins.net/fragments/Adams.htm

Useless professions: Middlemen, Hairdressers, tired TV producers, insurance salesmen, personnel officers, security guards, public relations executives, management consultants, Telephone Sanitisers, Marketing executives, etc.

Inspired by Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (H2G2)

 

 

Some other funny places:

 

/r/B_Ark

41 Subscribers

5

I would like to call to order the twelfth meeting of the colonization committee of the website Fintlewoodlewix (née reddit)

Let us begin our meeting with a discussion of old business.

The first order of old business to discuss is the so-called, "Bribe," that /u/dongshio was using to entice an another person to join us. I think the use of the word bribe was a bit hasty on my part. Let's call it encouragement. To that end, I am pleased to announce that /u/dongshio shall henceforth be in charge of the Lobbying Committee. Congratulations.

Congratulations are also in order for /u/j4k0b42. By virtue of his statements during the eleventh meeting, he has been appointed as the head of the Fire Committee.

Next, let's discuss new business.

I would like to inform everyone that you must sign up during the ninth meeting to receive your allotment of SHJEENINNTONYYX during the tenth meeting.

Lastly, we'll discuss committee reports.

The committee reports from the Fire Committee and the Lobbying Committee were not received prior to this meeting. This is not a positive way to begin your tenure, gentlemen. I expect a full report tomorrow on why I did not have a full report today.

As always, we encourage participation. The floor (verdant carpet) is open.

0 Comments
2013/05/23
22:14 UTC

3

I would like to call to order the eleventh meeting of the colonization committee of the website Fintlewoodlewix (née reddit)

Let us begin our meeting with a discussion of old business.

The old business to be discussed is the changing the order of the agenda for the tenth meeting. As there were not enough votes for a quorum, the topic will be tabled.

Next, let's discuss new business.

One of our most highly esteemed management consultants, Erinmore, suggested that there should be more people present for the meetings. This is necessary to establish a quorum. I expect every person present here today to bring another person with them to the next meeting. Do whatever you have to in order to get hem here. Beg, cajole, bribe them with the promise of leaves - do whatever it takes.

Lastly, we'll discuss committee reports.

The committee reports, were they to exist, would have been lost. Were there any committee heads, they would be asked at this point for replacement reports, including a comprehensive update since the last two meetings. Once the data has been analyzed, a full report will be presented.

As always, we encourage participation. The floor (bottomroof) is open.

4 Comments
2013/05/20
22:02 UTC

2

I would like to call to order the tenth meeting of the colonization committee of the website Fintlewoodlewix (née reddit)

On this momentous occasion, the TENTH colonization committee meeting, we shall begin with a rousing discussion of old business. The old business portion of our meeting is often overlooked, but it is just as important as the other items on the agenda. I'm looking forward to a lengthy discussion. As always, participation is encouraged, but not mandatory.

There is no old business.

Next, let's discuss new business.

In honor of our tenth committee meeting, I thought that we should do something a bit special. We can do the meeting in reverse order, just to liven things up. If we chose to do this, we will have committee reports, followed by new business, and finally old business. I vote to change the agenda, but only for today's meeting.

Lastly, we'll discuss committee reports.

The committee reports, were they to exist, are being sent through the proper channels to the appropriate personnel. Once the data has been analyzed, a grand report will be forthcoming.

[PLEASE JOIN US FOLLOWING THE MEETING. SHJEENINNTONYYX WILL BE SERVED]

The floor (dehydrated mud at your feet) is open.

2 Comments
2013/05/16
22:52 UTC

3

I would like to call to order the ninth meeting of the colonization committee of the website Fintlewoodlewix (née reddit)

Let's get right to the old business.

The old business of whether to have a section for old old business, as discussed during new business in the last meeting, was not resolved. A quorum was not present, so the vote is null and void.

Next we will focus all of our energy on new business.

There is no new business.

Finally, we will discuss committee reports.

The committee reports that have been submitted are being compiled and a presentation if the results will be forthcoming. Soon.

The floor (area in front of the bathtub) is open.

0 Comments
2013/05/15
23:20 UTC

1

I would like to call to order the eighth meeting of the colonization committee of the website Fintlewoodlewix (née reddit)

The first topic of discussion, of course, is old business.

The new business discussed during the new business section of the last meeting was whether we should have an old old business section. I voted in the affirmative during that meeting, but there was not a quorum present, so the vote is discarded. The topic may be readdressed during the new business section of our meetings.

We have addressed all old business, so we will now move on to new business.

I would like to make the recommendation that we institute a rule stating that there should never be a discussion of old old business during our meetings. The topic comes up very infrequently, and we all have other important business matters to attend to. I vote yes to this rule. I encourage all interested parties to vote in the comment section.

Finally, we will discuss committee reports.

I am currently preparing a presentation of the committee reports that have been submitted. When the presentation is complete, I shall regale you with my findings.

The floor (green stuff you see when you look at your shoes) is open. Please vote in the comment section.

0 Comments
2013/05/14
22:56 UTC

2

I would like to call to order the seventh meeting of the colonization committee of the website Fintlewoodlewix (née reddit)

Today, we shall begin with old business.

The only old business is the discussion of whether we are going to postpone the sixth meeting by one day. Seeing as this is a discussion of a topic that was to be discussed two business days ago, we cannot discuss it now. This is the section for old business, not old old business.

Because there is no old business, we will now move on to new business.

I would like to make the suggestion that we add a section to our meeting agenda to discuss old old business. I vote yes to this proposition. I encourage all interested parties to vote in the comment section.

Finally, we will discuss committee reports.

To anyone considering becoming a committee leader, the fact that no one has submitted a progress report up until this point will reflect negatively on your performance review.

The floor (lawn) is open. Please vote in the comment section.

0 Comments
2013/05/13
22:50 UTC

2

I would like to call to order the sixth meeting of the colonization committee of the website Fintlewoodlewix (née reddit)

As per our standard agenda, we will begin with old business.

Due to the fact that yesterday's meeting was not held yesterday, there is no possibility that new business exists.

Seeing as there is no old business, we will now move on to new business.

I would like to make the suggestion that we postpone yesterday's meeting until today. Please vote in the comment section.

Another piece of new business is to remind people that attendance at these meetings is mandatory. Had I been here, and had I been available for yesterday's meeting (had it occurred), I would not have seen any of you there.

Next we will move on to committee reports.

I have not received any communication from the committee heads (just because you don't want the job doesn't mean that you can shirk your responsibility).

The floor (ground ceiling) is open. We encourage participation.

0 Comments
2013/05/10
21:00 UTC

2

I would like to call to order the fifth meeting of the colonization committee of the website Fintlewoodlewix (née reddit)

As per our standard agenda, we will begin with old business.

As the lack of old business was mentioned during new business in the last meeting, the discussion cannot not be brought up now. That is because this makes it new old old business, and new old old business is not on the agenda.

Seeing as there is no old business, we will now move on to new business.

No new business was scheduled to be discussed during new business on our agenda, so we can move on to committee reports.

I have not received any communication from the committee heads (who will soon be hired), so we can end this portion of the meeting.

The floor (dirt that is slightly more densely packed) is open. We encourage participation.

0 Comments
2013/05/08
21:10 UTC

3

I would like to call to order the fourth meeting of the colonization committee of the website Fintlewoodlewix (née reddit)

As per our standard agenda, we will begin with old business.

I will begin the old business section by stating that we ought to have some old business, so we should mention some new business during new business so that it will be old business in the next meeting.

Our next topic is new business.

I would like to mention our lack of old business, and the detrimental effect it has had on morale during the meetings. It is not appropriate to discuss old business during new business, so this conversation will be postponed until tomorrow.

Next is the committee report. The committee heads, were there actually some, could be said to have dropped the nonexistent ball. Hypothetical eyes on the prize, people.

I will now leave the floor (ground) open to discussion.

1 Comment
2013/05/07
20:05 UTC

3

I would like to call to order the third meeting of the colonization committee of the website Fintlewoodlewix (née reddit)

As per our standard agenda, we will begin with old business.

There was no new business brought up during the last meeting, so there is therefore no old business to speak of.

Our next topic is new business.

New business? Anyone?

For a committee report to occur, we would need to have committees established. As no one has been identified as being willing and able to head these so-far unestablished committees, there will be no further discussion of this today.

I will now leave the floor (lawn) open for discussion.

0 Comments
2013/05/06
20:28 UTC

2

I would like to call to order the second meeting of the colonization committee of the website Fintlewoodlewix (née reddit)

As per our agenda, we will begin with old business.

erinmore brought up the new business of floors, but since it was commented upon within the first meeting, it was also old business. Since it is new business, it will not be discussed now. We can discuss this newold business when we move on to new business.

New business? Anyone?

erinmore brought up the new business of the floor (or bottomwall). This was brought up during the first meeting, so it would have been more appropriate to address this situation during old business.

For the committee report, we will need to have a project for the committee to report on. I would like to recommend that erinmore head that committee. I am slightly disappointed that no progress has been reported thus far by erinmore.

I will now leave the floor (or lack thereof) open for discussion.

0 Comments
2013/05/03
22:41 UTC

2

I would like to call to order the first meeting of the colonization committee of the website Fintlewoodlewix (née reddit)

As per our agenda, we will begin with old business.

This being our first meeting, there is no old business, so we will move on to new business.

New business? Anyone?

As we do not have any committees at the moment, the leaders of said nonexistent committees will be allotted only the briefest period of time to bring us up to speed on the their project, were it to exist, were they to exist.

I will now leave the floor open.

2 Comments
2013/05/02
20:17 UTC

Back To Top