I turned 30 last week and have just felt so sad about it.

I have a wonderful family to start, I feel so incredibly fortunate for them. My parents and brother mean the world to me. I have a masters degree and good job. That being said, I feel like a massive disappointment because I feel like I've wasted my life so far and don't want to continue in this new decade.

I feel like I wasted my 20s. I totally blew my time in college. I wanted to graduate college as early as possible for financial reasons, so I graduated college in 3 years. I can count on one hand the number of parties I went to. I worked at least two jobs the entire time, and lived at home to save money. I dropped my sorority because I couldn't afford it; and only had acquaintances, I never made any friends. I was either studying or working; I graduated with a 4.0. I do not say this to brag at all, because now that I'm in the working world, I've found that it literally does not matter.

After college, I went straight to grad school, and I went to the same school that I went to for undergrad. The first semester of grad school, I got rather sick and needed surgery, so that took up most of my time, followed by the unexpected passings of my grandpa, who I was very close to, and my sweet dog. Once that was all over with, I picked up 4 jobs to pay for my tuition, still lived at home, and again, only had acquaintances.

After graduating grad school, I went right into working what I thought was my dream job. It was the site of my clinical rotation from grad school, so I was thrilled. The first two years were consumed by bullying (I work in healthcare as a dietitian), the next 3 were covid, and now, I'm almost 7 years into this job. I got a new job a few years ago that paid higher, but it ended up being horrible (not even close to how it was described, horrible hours, crazy management), and the only other job I could find was my old job, so I went back to that after a few months at the new job. I feel fortunate they took me back, but it also felt like a step back. I'll now be there almost 7 years; while I love parts of it, it is also very stressful. I'm the lowest paid on my team with the most qualifications/certifications; my boss tried to fix my pay but the higher ups said no. There aren't any other areas at my job that I could transfer to, and although I'm looking for other jobs, the place I'm at is the best in the area and other places pay even less. I have applied to grad school again to change my field, but I don't feel totally sure about that because it's another 2 years of school, and I'd have to do loans this time for >$150k for how the program is, since you can't work during the program.

I still live at home. I live in a wannabe-LA area with high cost of living. I help out a lot at home and have a good relationship with my parents, so I'm very thankful for that. I do pay for all of my own things, clean all of my own things. and contribute to bills. But obviously, living at home at 30 just ain't it, and I've never lived alone aside from my first year in college. I've been dragging my feet on moving out because I honestly don't want to give up an entire paycheck to live alone, and deep down, I don't want to stay in the area I'm in. I obviously just haven't found a job or place to move yet. My parents don't have friends either, and my brother moved states for school, so it's quiet around the house.

I still don't have many friends, just acquaintances, mostly people at work who are either older or younger than I am. I really don't have friends my age; I've done various groups, junior league, volunteering, etc, and never met anyone to be friends with; we were either in different life stages or just didn't click; the ones I did like ended up moving away. I got kind of burned out with all of that so I stopped them, and just go to workout classes that I enjoy now on my own. I'm nice to everyone but just never seem to mesh with people my age. I go to concerts alone, workout classes, whatever - it just seems like everyone has their own group and they aren't interested in meeting anyone else. I feel dumb going alone but it's better than missing out.

I do take care of myself and have tried in every way to improve myself. I have let go of relationships that were one-sided or not good for me. I was a huge people pleaser but I have gotten better with that; I used to even do favors for people so we'd be "friends' but I realized how wrong that was so I stopped that too. I was bullied a bit at a few of my jobs so I've worked on why and those problems are gone. I've read all of the self-development/self help books/etc and even went to therapy. I've even asked older adults I've trusted (like family/family friends) what I can do to improve myself and they say nothing. I know for sure I'm missing something and I don't know what.

In terms of relationships, I have never had a boyfriend. I've gone on dates, none of them have worked out for a variety of reasons (either set ups from well-meaning coworkers with guys I have nothing in common with, or just random guys from apps, or a creepy coworker twice my age that said he wanted to marry me). I live in an area where people mostly do hookups or marry people they went to high school with; everyone has their thing so I'm not knocking that, but I'm not into hookups and I went to an all-girls high school so clearly I didn't meet any guys there. I know it's different for everyone, but I strongly strongly strongly want to be married and have kids. That is probably my biggest contributor to how I'm feeling. It's so hard seeing everyone else get married and have kids, and although I'm so happy for them, I just have this deep ache for that and am just devastated that I don't have that and really don't know how to get there.

I guess what I'm saying with all of this is that I feel empty. I feel like I worked really hard and did "all the right things" but I don't have any friends, a meaningful relationship, or really anything to show for it. Again, I love my family and I'm so grateful for them, and I'm glad I have a job, but other than that, my life just feels empty. People at work or acquaintances tell me I have it together, and I don't get why because I just feel so sad. I am again not saying these things to brag or anything like that; I don't feel like I have anything together. Turning 30 made me realize just how finite everything is and that I pretty much wasted an entire decade of my life and there's no going back. Does this get better? How can I make things better? I don't want to waste away another decade of my life. Any help is appreciated, and thank you for reading this.

Hi, i’m a 30 year old woman. I live far from my mother and have no other family. All of my friends and coworkers are my age. I feel like i’m missing out on different experiences and knowledge by not talking to anyone over 35. Activities i enjoy are dancing, yoga, working out, going to concerts (but i feel like in all of these i gravitate to people my age).

Genuinely asking, as I keep hearing coworkers are not your friends. I recently got a new job, it’s seasonal but some people I’ve noticed I really enjoy being around. Some of the girls I can see being friends with outside of my job. I’m hesitant to try and be more friendly as I’m not sure who they know outside of work that I might and because people always say coworkers aren’t your friends. Would it be weird for me to try and befriend them? If so how?

Also 2 guys that I work with are super cute and really nice to me. Not saying I want to go out with either (although it would be nice since I’m single) , but I can definitely see myself being friends with them outside of work, if I don’t stay on the team past seasonal. I’m just wondering how to really approach trying to be friends outside of work.

I posted this in the regular advice subreddit but it didn't seem to get a lot of traction so I thought I'd make a post here.

I'm 23 which, I understand, is not even remotely close to being "old". But, due to some things in my personal life I've been having a bit of a quarter life crisis about getting old and the harsh realities that accompany it. No one can outrun genetics or time. There's a fair chance I'm going to go bald and/or lose my looks. I've never considered myself a looker but obviously my ego is bruised by the idea of not getting attention from the opposite sex or not being seen as attractive anymore, as well as a general change in my personal status quo.

At the same time I think a another big reason this is such a big deal to me is because, once I've passed the line into "old age" like balding or not looking as good I'll officially not be "a kid" anymore. My early 20s have been spent being super in my head, idolizing bands or other celebrities that realistically I'll never come close to (not to mention the idea of fame and the realities of it are two totally separate things) and being full of dreams and aspirations but most important, potential. The clock seems to be moving slow now but it's going to catch up and hit me in the face one day, probably sooner rather than later. It's fair to say culture and media has a heavy bias for youth and looks and I've always been a part of the young crowd so I don't know how to handle one day being out of it. Outside of media, the bald/older people I know in real life seem to exude a confidence/attitude that I don't have and seem to be fully present people in life. By leaving the young crowd and officially being an adult, it's a bit like imposter syndrome; everyone is going to know I'm insecure and don't know what I'm doing about my life or values and that I've just been coasting on being young. You can get away making a lot of stupid mistakes in your 20s, not so much in your 30s or 40s. At least in my head, you've 'made it' by that time and are officially a full, confident adult that knows what they're doing.

Any advice? I know I'm worrying about a problem that hasn't happened yet but it's still tripping me up. Genetics are difficult to pinpoint and there's no telling how they'll affect me. If nothing else, I've been telling myself I had a good few years looking young and cool and hip and that I should be satisfied with that, which makes me feel slightly better. There's also the fact that, although you can't fight genetics or time you can surely stave them off for a little bit through diet, supplements and keeping your general health in order, all of which I'm doing.

I never learn from my mistakes. I’m a 52 yo F and I continue to make the same financial mistakes. I don’t have anything in savings and I never have anything left out of my check. Shopping seems to be a source of relief for me. I spend most of my time alone. I have non existent social life. I do want to change this behavior.

Are there ideas or recommendations ? Please be kind!!

My parents are emotionally abusive. Not for the reasons I'm about to describe below, that's just a general fact. I'm in my mid 20s and I'm almost done with graduate school. My parents are driving me completely insane. I can't "go no contact" at this time.

Before my parents met or knew anything about my boyfriend, my mom said he may be abusive because of his "culture" and "astrology." My parents put on a huge show for any guest, especially my ex-boyfriend who was never all that serious about me, and never invited me to spend a holiday with him in the 6 years we dated. They greatly encouraged my dead-end former relationship.

Anyways. My parents put in minimal effort with my boyfriend when he visited over the holidays (they met him briefly once before) to a laughable extent. They asked him "do you have any grandparents who are still alive" he said "no" spoke more about that, and then they didn't ask anything else lol.

At dinner party after my bf left, my mom randomly states "OP's boyfriend's parents just got divorced. His mother left the house because the father was abusive." I never said this, stated such, and left. She then pretended she never said this.

So, after my boyfriend left they said the following about him:

- They accused him of lying about his salary because of Salary disclosures, I showed the recent one from last year, which generally shut them up

-They accused him of trying to steal my money because he suggested I use a Zelle account, as my bank already had one

-They said his answers seemed "rehearsed" and "psychopathic" and that the "vibes" were awful. None of my friends have ever said this, and I blatantly asked them and they disagreed, said we seemed happy and sweet, etc.

-They said the guests at the dinner party "hated him" when all he talked about was a vacation he went on. I'm sure they made this up

-They asked "does your boyfriend say we are controlling?" ?? You are controlling? You get upset when your mid-20s child opens up their own bank account? They said he is controlling because we spent a lot of time together early on, but this was also more because I wanted to make sure we could live together, as I was deciding if I wanted to start a long-distance relationship.

-They said our physical contact seemed "gross" and "forced." My friends said the opposite. My dad said, "The way he was touching you made it seem like he wanted us to know who his bitch is" (he put his arm around me, and held my hand).

-They said my boyfriend is so noticeably weird, and that any person that claims to like him is "blowing smoke up my ass" and that his career "isn't going anywhere" when he has been repeatedly promoted.

After this all happened, my parents tried to bribe me with gifts and a vacation, and act weirdly kind to me.

So our neighbor who is legitimately 90 years old has an ailing wife… From what I know it is her liver and she has gone downhill over the last couple months especially. Essentially my question is about how to get him to get help for her within their home. They live in a cabin that is not up to code, the bathroom is downstairs all exits out of the house are extremely steep stairs and the first month she moved in she fell and broke three of her vertebrae about a year ago. So needless to say, as much as he as he is taking care of her he refused to move to Washington where she OWNS a single story nice place in a gated community and I just feel like she has sacrificed care and comfort to be with him.

She is also in her 80s has no children, he has a number of children but they all live out of state. When I spoke to him about getting a part time caretaker for her, his response was she doesn't need that yet. I explained I did not mean end of lifecare, but quality of life care —that somebody could help her with her hygiene and chores around the house etc. etc. and he was very resistant to it saying things like "that is what I'm there for" & "oh I'll get her out of bed"... He is in excellent mental and physical health however just not able to help her the way she needs -- and to be honest, it feels a bit like Munchhausen...

Wondering if there's a way I can approach this where he will be more receptive to allowing respite or DSP services? We have a lot of resources in our area and I am confident that she could get some in there to help her with no issues... if it weren't for him gatekeeping.

I have only met her face-to-face twice but the thought of her being alone in a basement and her only caregiver being him really bothers me…

Hi y’all,
I want to share my story with you because I feel like no one truly understands what I’m going through or how I feel. I’m a 23-year-old man, born and raised in the Netherlands. I grew up in a big city with a Dutch mom and a migrant dad.

My mom converted to Islam when she met my dad. However, when she decided she no longer wanted to be Muslim, they got divorced. I was four years old when this happened, so I don’t remember much of it. After the divorce, I didn’t see my dad until I was nine, and in the meantime, I lived with my mom.

Since then, I’ve experienced several traumatic events that I still struggle to process. The first happened when I was five: our house caught fire while I was inside. I vividly remember seeing flames everywhere, trying to throw water on them, and screaming for my mom, who was asleep. When the flames became too much, I went to the front door, sat there, and screamed until a neighbor broke the glass and got me out. I saw my mom again for the first time in the hospital, where I learned that she had also survived.

After the fire, we moved to another house, and things were okay for a while. But my relationship with my mom was always difficult. She is a very practical and straightforward person, but I now know that she also has a lower-than-average level of intelligence, which deeply affected how she raised me. She had a series of boyfriends, and whenever a relationship ended, she would blame me. By the time I was ten, I started resisting her boyfriends because I could see that some of them were abusive, manipulative, or just not good people. Unfortunately, this only caused more conflict. My mom would tell me I was a horrible child who should never have been born.

No matter how hard she tried to show me love, I always felt lonely and out of place as a kid. I also missed having a real father figure in my life.

When I was nine, my mom had a particularly bad boyfriend. During that year, she also suffered a stroke and nearly died. Her boyfriend didn’t want to take care of me, so he contacted child services behind my mom’s back. I remember being in the hospital with my family when a social worker arrived to take me away. Everyone was shocked because no one knew he had done this.

For six months, I lived with two foster families who were incredibly kind and loving. For the first time, I felt what it was like to be cared for and to simply be a child. However, under pressure from my mom and family, I was eventually sent back home.

This is when the frustration began. After I returned, youth services disappeared from our lives, and we were left without any real support. One social worker came to assist my mom occasionally, but other than that, I was left to take care of her. Although she could manage basic tasks, she wasn’t in a state to raise a child. During this time, I became more withdrawn and developed severe anxiety.

Things continued like this until I was 15. By then, I could barely take care of myself, let alone my mom. That year, I hit a breaking point and had a crisis. I started having frequent panic attacks that I could no longer hide. I was sent to a psychologist and began receiving help at home. While this support helped a little, the damage of over 11 years had already taken its toll.

By this time, my dad had re-entered my life. Since I was ten, my mom had been sending me to visit him weekly so she could have time alone with her boyfriends. My dad is a very conservative Muslim, and we lived in completely different worlds. He also suffers from a chronic illness, which made it hard for him to do much. While he occasionally listened to me, I often felt disappointed.

When I realized I was gay, I knew I could never tell him. This created a barrier between us, and over time, our relationship became more distant. Today, we still see each other occasionally, but it’s hard because I can’t share anything about my personal life with him. This lack of connection makes me feel like I never really had a parent, and it leaves me feeling completely alone.

Now, I’m doing fairly well. I’ve completed my bachelor’s degree and finished five years of therapy. However, the wounds from my childhood run deep. The question of how no one noticed my suffering or recognized the lack of self-esteem and self-worth I was developing still haunts me. Sometimes, these thoughts become so overwhelming that I feel like I can’t keep going.

Especially in comibination with my sexuality I have no idea how proper love lookslike. Because everything I know is out of balance. And that are the things that searching, but are also scarring me when I search for it. Think of wrong type of people or people that are just not carring about me.

This is just a brief summary of everything that happened, but I hope someone out there can relate to the anger, frustration, and sadness I feel.

Newly married, and my husband is a Christmas Eve baby. I want to start a tradition that combines celebrating his birthday and Christmas with a meaningful activity involving his family. Any ideas?

My bf (25M) and I (27F) will celebrate our 5 year anniversary tomorrow. But, I feel the relationship has gone stale. This is the first time ive had a relationship with someone that wasnt toxic/abusive, so I struggle with knowing when to know to work on things or if I should have ended things instead.

Essentially, it feels like I've lost connection with him. We both have got into a routine which feels like we live as roommates. We go to work, have dinner, he heads to the gym or football, I do some gaming/watching tv and spend time with the cat. He comes home and games, then we lie on our phones in bed and go to sleep. Ive brought this up a fair few times, and although I know it takes two to work on things, I personally feel I want the man in the relationship to take the lead on things (just my personal preference!). He just doesnt seem fussed about the lack of quality time, so books one dinner and then we go back to same old. Its my fault too, as Its easier just to stick to routine but I cant help but think every now and again that the way we co-exist could mean its meant to end?

We havent got alot of money, so we cant just go on a weekend away or a holiday to reconnect - in fact we have never been on holiday just the two of us. I cant even remember the last time we had more than 2 days alone together as we live with his parents. We plan to start renting in the new year (even then we are going to share with his friend as we would struggle to afford it just the two of us). I feel this could either make us closer and bring new life to our relationship, or nothing could change and then im in even deeper. I moved across the country to be with him, so id have to give up everything again if we broke up. I know that if we shouldnt be together then that is just what ill have to do - but i just dont know how to monitor when a normal relationship is meant to end. My previous experiences are cheating, abuse or just general toxicity, so this isnt clear for me.

These are the things in the relationship that make me feel a bit like ive lost my spark with him-

• I feel im always taking the lead. If i dont plan or book or organise, it doesnt get done.
• I sometimes feel like a mother. He cooks, but I do the food shop, clean the house, do the washing, organise vets, do the bedding, wash up etc etc.
• When i speak to him, hes often on his phone messaging his friends about football or organising who hes going to the gym with etc
• When i bring up issues, or am struggling with my mental health (which has worsened considerably since covid and moving here) it feels like im a burden and he just doesnt get it/wants to live a peaceful life. He never says it, but I just get the vibe that hed rather not deal with it and thinks im just dramatic.
• We dont have many intimate moments

I know younger people might make some mistakes, but isn't it apart of being young? You guys probably did shit when you were young. But now we're seeing older people now doing the same stuff that old people did to them when they were young.

hey guys, I’m in my late 40s and started walking regularly as a hobby to stay healthy. I’m looking for comfortable, supportive shoes for long walks, and Easy Spirit keeps coming up in my search. With Black Friday and Cyber Monday around the corner, should I expect to find some serious discounts on these shoes? If you’ve scored any great deals on Easy Spirit shoes before, where did you shop and which models would you recommend? Any tips for saving on these shoes during the sales? 👟🛍️

update - after conducting thorough research on the best Easy Spirit Black Friday sales, here's the best deal that I found:

Best Easy Spirit Black Friday deals:

• 54% off Easy Spirit boots, dress shoes, sneakers, more (EasySpirit.com)

I think my friend of many years may be trying to distance from me, but I can’t tell if it’s me overthinking or if I’m right so I’d like some feedback.

For context, said friend doesn’t live in our hometown anymore, but that’s never stopped us from hanging out as I’d visit him or when he’d visit home here and there we always (and I mean always even if it was a short hang out) would make it a point to see each other anytime he’d come home. I’ve been feeling like I personally don’t have much to say to him anymore as much as I don’t want to admit. Like maybe the last 3 hang outs we’ve had with the most recent being his birthday party, but I was also catching up with tons of people so I didn’t talk to him much anyway.

Before that, I kept mentioning how I’d want to visit where he lives again since it was a lot Of fun last time, but he worded it as if we already did majority of the things last time, and his tone wasn’t too thrilled if I were to come again in my opinion. I lost my job and it was honestly the perfect time to. I kept mentioning then the fall time would be great, there’d be a lot of activities to do - then he pushed it to spring since there’s this festival going on then I mentioned I always want to go to. But I honestly just feel he pushed it that far in the case I couldn’t make it and got a job (which now I do have). Also he is gay, just my friend (just wanna mention because people might get the wrong idea)

Fast forward to now, since I’m not visiting him soon he said last time next time he’d be home. It’s for a couple days for the thanksgiving season. I went ahead and said when / how long he’d be here which he usually is the one to contact me saying when to see me.

He for the first time, said he had to see what his family’s up to without offering a day that could work (which he always does) and said he’s also home late December to January (like he’s pushing it off again) I did say happy thanksgiving and I miss you and he said love you. Today is my day off, he is out with my other friend (that he saw very recently) nearby my home which is totally fine- But I haven’t seen him in a long time and I am kind of taken aback that he hasn’t said a word meanwhile being so close to my home. He’s the type to meet me even if it’s a short period so it’s just surprising is all.

I’m not saying anything more as I’m not gonna chase my friend to see me and I could be overthinking… thoughts? This is honestly just a gut feeling I’m getting which isn’t usually wrong, but he’s a close friend of mine for many years so it does make me wonder. He comes back for the holidays soon and my birthday is around then, I was thinking to wait and see if he messages me to meet. I feel like if he doesn’t then I have my answer?

Husband is 72 and I am 69 but disabled. Husband works part time and we both collect SS. We have savings of $100,000 and I'm in a panic about how to make it work for us. We rent (lost our home and business during covid).

Is it too late in our lives to try and buy another home? Our landlord is nice but he has plans to move his own parents in here someday. Plus, I hate to pay rent instead of a mortgage. On the other hand, home ownership can have unexpected expenses. Thoughts?

I’m so scared of growing up and everything about it I’m scared of being poor or not getting a good enough job and just falling behind in life I’m still young but I’m just so scared of failing or being homeless everything about being an adult scares me and I just wanna ask how you overcome those fears

Women especially, I'm curious. I'm a gal in my mid 40s, relatively petite. I was taught when i was 25. I love driving a stick! It's so engaging slamming thru those gears :D But I learned on a '99 nissan. I'm the proud owner of one of the last manual subarus now. I've always been curious how tough it was (physically) for a young lady to learn to drive back in say, the 50s or 60s?.

I (28F) started dating my boyfriend (28M) earlier this year. He’s an amazing person and when we first met he acknowledged that he comes from a very privileged background. I really admired the self-awareness. I consider myself a fortunate person and I don’t like complaining about my childhood too much, as most of my peers had it a lot worse. We didn’t go hungry and had what we needed. My boyfriend and I definitely have different perspectives. He’s got expensive taste and doesn’t seem to think much about money at all. Sometimes he’ll say something that seems a little out of touch to me, such as considering a place dingy, divey, and gross when it’s really just a regular bar. He’s not being judgmental about it. For him it’s exciting. Like he gets to play the role of a poor person. He gets excited when we do poor people stuff (which is really just regular, middle class stuff) like drinking boxed wine from mason jars. To him, entering my world is exciting and fun because he gets to act poor. I do not feel the same about entering his world. They are fancy people. Like balcony seating at concerts every couple months. Correct forks to use at Thanksgiving dinner. They’re all perfectly lovely and friendly people. It’s not uptight by any means, but I can’t help but feel like I’m very out of my element. I don’t think my boyfriend quite realizes JUST how fortunate his family is. All of his friends that I’ve met come from very similar backgrounds of family trust funds and car and motorcycle collections. I love his family and his friends and I love my boyfriend to bits and pieces, but I can’t help this lingering, hint of a feeling that I don’t belong in the upper class. How do I retrain my thinking so I feel more comfortable?

Grandma recently passed away this last year, and since Grandpa was her main caretaker, he has found himself at loss with what to do with his days. I am the grandkid that lives all the way on the other side of the country, but some of the family members that live nearby had mentioned that Grandpa is having a hard time remembering/having the excitement to eat/make meals.

I am thinking some sort of meal kit/grocery box would be a good Christmas gift idea for him! He's decent in the kitchen, and doesn't have any tremors or mobility issues yet that would hinder him.

My question then is--do you have any meal kit boxes you would recommend, and would you rather receive something that is already pre-portioned out ingredients for a specific meal, or would you like something more like a meat box that has some good cuts of steak that you can pair or prepare however?

Thanks for the insight!

Hello, my name is Brian, I am 37 M mid-Atlantic region of the US. I am autistic. I will admit I lead an alternative lifestyle. I am just not a very materialistic person. My interests in life revolve around weed, listening to music, philosophy, theology, love and things like that. I am not super concerned with earning a lot or having a lot of money. I work just what I need to in order to have the basics and I am plenty happy with just that :)

With that said I would like to be in a relationship. I would even go as far as to say besides having fun, enjoying myself and taking it easy, that my number one goal in life is to be in a relationship. To love and be loved in return.

I am fully aware I am in the strong minority with my lifestyle. And it is ok. I do not judge others and even when other's judge me I just take it easy. I have been relying solely on online dating and dating apps to try and get dates lately. But between how difficult it can be to have success from dating apps and living with my parents I am in a bit of a dry stretch. My last real date was in 2017. I am looking to change this.

Now I know I am not for everyone. If you have any further questions about my personality or the things I like and enjoy doing, please feel free to ask. I hope I have presented an honest picture of who I am though and what my lifestyle is like and the sort of things I enjoy doing :)

I am going to take a bit of a break from online dating apps. At least for a little while.

So, I am curious if people have any suggestions of places, I can meet women who are into similar things. Or at least would be willing to put up with a boyfriend with my lifestyle? I do not judge women at all who would never date a guy like me. But surely there must be women out there who would date (or dare I even say would prefer to date) someone like me. I would just love some advice about places I might have better odds at meeting them.

It will always be a huge uphill challenge for me to meeting someone and start talking to them. But in order to achieve my goals of a relationship I at least want to dip my toes in it. So, any and all suggestions, questions, thoughts and ideas will be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much. Brian

Planning on getting one, and I want to know how to plan the next day!

I tend to react strongly to vaccinations. But shots that are mild for most people are usually okay.

Edit: thanks to all of you! Except the anti-vax trolls.

Second edit: got the shot, told the pharmacist about reactions that I'd had to some shots but not others. He suggested that I expect a low-energy day tomorrow, but nothing worse. We'll see.

Are apple watches really just as good for falls/requesting help? Thanks!

Sorry for the long post but I wanted to add some context! I don’t have anyone I can talk to about this

I 30 F recently had a child about 4 months ago. Hubby 32 M and I have been together for 9 years married 3. My in-laws live about 3.5 hours away. My relationship with them has been cordial but with some conflicts over the years that basically get swept under the rug. FIL (60m) is a textbook narcissist, loud, rude, self centred, my way or the highway. MIL (53F)is controlling and manipulative, can be quite catty and plays the victim card if she doesn’t get her way. MIL and FIL have a toxic relationship with each other, loud fights, insults and curse at each other. The whole family including my husband fights a lot with each other and then after and hour or two they are laughing and giggling with each other it’s very strange. My husband turns into a different person around them too. I personally don’t like them or their personalities but I am cordial with them because they are my husbands family and he obviously wants to stay in contact with them. He talks to them on the phone quite often, sometimes daily.

My in-laws came to visit quite often towards the end of my pregnancy and first few weeks after baby was born. It drained me mentally to be around them pre pregnancy but after giving birth my focus and priorities have changed and I can’t stand them at all anymore. I’m so tense around them because of the negative energy and my anxiety goes through the roof. My husband knows how toxic they can be and I’ve tried telling him to set boundaries but he enables their behaviour. Our relationship has also been on the rocks post baby because of common issues a lot of new moms go through such as weaponised incompetence (he’s gotten better though and we’re working on our marriage)

Just this last weekend my MIL came to visit for what was supposed to be one day.. which turned into three because she kept making an excuse not to leave like oh it’s too dark to drive now (sun sets at 15:00 here) Even though we had other plans and were prepping for an international trip in a few days.

There were arguments with her and my husband about diverse things like a house we are interested in buying that she doesn’t like which went on and on for days and even in public. When I ask them to stop fighting (whilst we were in the lobby at the hospital taking some control tests) and the negative energy is tiring me out she replies saying they are not fighting just “discussing”. She then tells me that people are supposed to be able to discuss things.. like I’m a child.

She feels entitled to be included in the buying process of our house because some of the money we’re using to buy the house comes from a loan she gave us a few years ago to buy our apartment. (I never wanted to take that money but they insisted and kind of pushed it on us so that we could buy a higher class apartment. This was when I first moved to this country (in europe) and I didn’t know how housing worked here. Personally I didn’t mind living in a “lesser” apartment like normal twenty somethings and building our own wealth but hubby didn’t have an issue with it and accepted it. I want to pay that money back ASAP and it’s my number one agenda now after taking care of baby ofc.)

On top of this my husband was working so I had to spend all day with her and keep her entertained when all I wanted to do was sleep when I put baby down. She then complains that she doesn’t get much time to spend with baby because she’s “always breastfeeding or sleeping” and she drove up all the way to spend time with her. She ended up buying random gifts for us and baby because she felt bad about her behaviour around the house hunting (something she does often, it’s like a cycle lol, feels like our love is being bought)

This weekend we’re heading down to the in-laws to celebrate an early “Christmas” since we’ll be away celebrating with my family in a different country. We planned on celebrating on Saturday which is now pushed to Sunday because BIL can’t make it on Saturday and it’s very important for MIL that the whole family is together. The problem is we need to drive back home (3.5 hour drive) on Sunday at around 2-3pm because as I said above the sun sets then and baby gets upset and hysterical when it’s pitch black. Last time we drove in the dark it was hours of screaming and stopping several times trying to calm baby. Of course the in-laws don’t understand why we need to leave so early and complain that we are inconsiderate and they get so little time with us. They complain that when we travel to see my family we stay for weeks( my family lives in another country 23 hours to travel there by flight with stops and I see them once a year)

Anyway… i wanted to know how you all set boundaries with your in-laws in similar situations. I am so scared I’m going to blow a fuse at some small random thing if all this continues and end up looking like a crazy person. I also know children are so impressionable and absorb everything around them, I don’t want my baby growing up around toxic negative energy. Any tips or advice is greatly appreciated

Tl;dr: How to set boundaries with narcissistic manipulative in-laws that want to control several aspects of your life?

My MIL’s mom whom I have a good relationship with has told me she has “spots” in her lungs. She has a mass in her abdomen that is cancerous as well.

I have a good relationship with my MIL as well. I asked MIL’s mom if she has told my MIL about it and she said no she hasn’t told many people.

MIL’s mom’s husband has a disease that will cause him to be progessively permanently disabled mentally and physically. GMIL & GFIL are both 80+.

I am very conflicted about what to do/ what not to do. Any advice?

I lost my Dad last year. I'm relatively young, just starting out in the work force and if things go halfway right I will outlive him in terms of age. Those of you who have hit the age of your parents when you lost them, what went through your mind? Did you reflect and have any realizations? Did it change the way you viewed life? Did it make you think differently about certain things?

I've still got a few decades to go before I hit that point but shortly after his 1-year mark I started wondering. What, if anything at all, is it like?

My (f21) grandfather (m70-something) is a hermit, his wife (my grandmother) died about 3ish yrs ago. We can get him out of the house for family events (birthdays, random dinners, holidays), but he needs a social life outside of family. He has many friends but having been in the military they were moving everywhere, and non of his friends are close to home, and the ones that used to be have now moved other places.

I take him out to lunches and stuff, but i myself am a hermit as well (learned from the best ig 😂), but where can I take him/do with him so he can meet new people and make some friends?