TL;DR: Got/getting bullied, no longer have the confidence to dress the way I want to.

Hi everyone. This is gonna be long, and will probably sound kind of stupid, but here we go I guess. I’d like to start by saying that I’m a teenager who’s been involved in the goth subculture for a few years now. I love the music and the fashion. Last year, I came to my new school with a lot of optimism, hoping that I would find more friends who are similar to me. Prior to that, I had been attending a very small rural school without much exposure to other kids my age, so I was never really targeted for dressing different. To be blunt, I have no friends at my current school. I get bullied a lot. The way I dress has come under a lot of scrutiny since I came here. On the first mufti day of the year (that’s when you don’t have to wear school uniform, for the Americans) I came fully dressed in tradgoth fashion. People found this very funny, to say the least. I think I may have been recorded a few times. Then some people found my (now deleted) Instagram account, where I had more photos of me in tradgoth makeup and fashion. They started sending these photos to each other, and some people at school asked me if I was an ‘emo’. There was more stuff, but this is what really stuck out to me. I have pretty much entirely withdrew from the goth community now. Except for when I went to see The Cult play in November, where I knew I wouldn’t be judged, I have found it really daunting to dress in any way that might draw attention to myself. I still listen to the music, but that’s pretty much it. This makes me real sad, because dressing goth used to be how I felt the most comfortable in my own skin, but now im just too scared. I know I shouldnt care what other people think, but my self esteem has really plummeted. What do I do? How do I be more confident as a goth?

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I am goth/punk with conservative family. So I have pretended to have their beliefs just for no conflict. I’m a minor so I just participated in their beliefs. In my core I don’t believe in it. I know you can’t be conservative and Goth. Can I still accepted with a conservative background? (I’m not conservative myself, I have just pretended for peace with my family).

Recently, I moved out of my dad’s house and into my aunt’s place. While my dad was more religious, my aunt is a little more relaxed in that regard. This change has given me the chance to start openly dressing goth around my family, which I’m excited about! I've dressed this way for a long time, but I always hid my clothes in separate from the ones my dad would let me have. 😅

That said, my aunt made a comment that my style looks “satanic.” To be clear, I’m not satanic at all—I just love the goth subculture and the way it helps me express myself. She’s not forcing me to change or anything, which I appreciate, but I can’t lie—it would feel really good to have her approval (I know that might sound a little odd).

Does anyone have advice on how I can explain to her that being goth isn’t a sin and can actually be a positive thing? I’d love to help her see that it’s just a subculture and a part of who I am.

I’m writing a character for my screen play and I want her to be goth. I’m not goth myself, but I have a rough idea of what I want her look like aesthetically and what music she listens to.

I want her to wear clothes based off Romana I and Romana II from Doctor Who, but I want it to be in darker colours. I want her to listen to Ethereal Wave, Darkwave, and Witch House. She’s very open mystically and esoterically with a concentration Hinduism and Buddhism.

I want to write her very close in line to goth ethos and I appreciate any help I can get to flush out her characterisation more

Similar to ItsBlackFriday?

I just found out I'm pregnant and want to binge watch how other people do it 🖤

Posted on r/goth originally but got removed, hoping someone can help me here.

Question for anyone who has/had emo/goth partner. I understand this may sound dumb and kinda shallow, but I wonder if anyone else has experienced this. basically me and my gf have been together for 11 years, since highschool, we've both always had the same lifestyle, likes dislikes, everything, it was perfect. but for the past year or so she's becoming my polar opposite. we've always dressed the same gothic emo style and we would always listen to rock/metal/post hardcore stuff like that, and we had all the same hobbies and favorite activities, but since she started her new job she's become not only distant but she changed everything about her style, to I guess be more prep like, which is fine I understand people grow up and change and I will never make her be something she doesn't want to be but it's honestly the biggest thing that brought us together and something we always took pride in. she met some people at her job and I feel like they're a big influence on her. she doesn't listen to our bands anymore and only listens to pop and hip hop which we always hated and even joked about often. trust me I understand people growing up and changing, I guess that's one of the reasons I'm so upset is because we were so sure that we would never change and we both felt that way, and it was super solid for 10 years, and I've basically made her my whole life so it kinda feels like my world got flipped on its head. she's especially more distant and now I feel like maybe me being this lifestyle will push her away and she will find someone else who knows relates better to her. I know we weren't going to grow into like old goth people but the change in person is drastic. I've talked to her about it but she tries to avoid it and even try to just tell me what she thinks I want to hear. There's a bunch of changes she's made but these are just a couple of examples. I guess if you know you know. so I'm just curious if any other couple felt this way and how it turned out. basically how does it feel when your spouse/partner becomes an entirely different person suddenly? Am I wrong to be upset and worried? Is it wrong to not want to change?

So to cut this short, I've began to try and expand my music libary and knowelge between diffrent genres and have been drawn to try out gothic music. Coming from mostly metal and rock I'd love to get some recomendations; Artists, songs or albums. I don't really know what is considerd gothic too, but some Type O Negative is always good (if they are considerd gothic.) So yeah, each and every recommendation is appreciate <3

(And you don't have to answer this, as it's more of a shitpost) And oppinions on this.

Edit: Thanks for being nice :D

Just curious if there's others goths who play the saxophone I don't see many goths in my area who are goth and a saxophonist so I'm just curious lol

Are there more goths who aren't into victorian styles. I mean more the architecture etc. Most classic styles aren't my thing. I can see the beauty in it but due to my autism I get quickly overstimulated by these styles.

I find my goth feelings more in brutalism and dystopian architecture etc. The only classic architecture I really like is gothic.

I know this is a weird question but I see a lot of other goths doing cool things like content creator or film but not everyone can do that:)

I (14m) have been into the music since 13 and I would say my clothing style has evolved to gothic in the span of maybe like half a year or something, anyways heres the story about incident: A week ago i was visiting family in Germany and went to like the next big city alone, everything was fun and stuff, people were mostly polite and so on however the incident occured when i went back home on the bus, there were 2 girls like on the bench next to me, me thinking nothing of it i just listen to some music (as i do most of the time) however i could sometimes hear "Grufti" through the headphones which is like a "derogatory" term for Goths, and i mean I didn't really care i just moved more towards the back of the bus, next thing i know they follow me and at that point i was somewhat uncomfortable and didn't quite know what to do so i just waited till my bus stop, when i went out they came out as well and started to throw little rocks at me and ran away laughing, since i am an overall peace loving individual and a guy and they were girls i just didn't do anything, Sorry for the long story and maybe bad grammar, i maybe couldn't like express it completely since english isn't my native language, HOWEVER how should i react in situations like this in the future?

Yes I am a teen which I know makes this a bit harder, but I’ll explain my issue anyway. Ever since I was a little kid I’ve liked dark things. I loved horror, horror makeup, etc. As I got to be older kid and teen I’ve gotten into goth along with other alternative music genres. I love goth music it’s amazing. I connect with the style so much it just feels like me. I started trying to ease my way into goth looks in my house which I know wouldn’t easy considering I couldn’t tell even my mom what I was listening to. I just put on a little (not much) black liner, goth band shirt, black lipstick and a tad black eyeshadow. Combats, sort of gothic jewelry, and a leather jacket. My makeup was actually subtle considering what I really wanted to do. She would just make comments that I look dead and evil but not do anything about it. Randomly one day I was doing full goth makeup in the comfort of my room (not going anywhere with it on). She got so fucking mad. She said “you have something going your not telling me you satanist!” “You need to be prayed over there is a spirit on you”. She took my phone as I tried to explain to her that it is art. She found all the proof that i’m worshiping (i’m not) with the proof being my black lipstick and eyeshadow. She told all my family that I’m a satanist, i’m demonic, i’m evil, a witch and gothic. My family freaked tf out saying “I can’t believe this is happening”. She made me take off my black nails, said no more evil makeup, and that she will not have this demon in her house. She said that she does not care how I feel about it because it is not art. My family is just super religious. I am just so sad because I just want to express myself. It’s unfair because there are kids doing actual bad things and i’m a pretty good kid and this is what i’m in trouble for. Can somebody please just give me some type of advice? 🖤

Off the top of my head of what ungoth things about me is that I don't wear too much makeup, partially because I'm scared to use eyeshadow or be extra with eyeliner. I have these boots (the ones that go up to your shins) in my closet that has not seen the light of day since I've first tried them because I was too lazy to practice walking in them. I hate pink, but I love pink food, it's the most visually appealing and usually tastes the best. I like warmer seasons over cold, I just don't want to move anywhere if I'm cold end stay in my bed forever.

This year has been really rough and I ended up deciding to cut off some of my only friends because they were really toxic to be around and it was negatively affecting me. I have decided to stop being a hermit and try to get out more so that I can meet more people. I’m in Atlanta and in my mid 20’s. I tried ascension at the masquerade a few years ago but it was pretty dead, was this just a fluke? Do you all prefer ascension or ritual? Also, feel free to comment with any shows/other events that are happening!

I recently joined the goth scene, listened to the music for years but just started learning about the politics. I saw a tiktok of someone saying that punk politics believes ACAB, and since goth is post-punk that got me wondering. Im studying the criminal justice major in college because I hope to become a cop and an investigator, but can I still be part of the goth scene if thats my career choice? I dont want to be shunned and called a poser

Out of curiosity, does anyone have an all time favorite band that isn’t goth/metal/industrial? I was curious to see if there were other people like me haha

I live in a small town here in San Bernardino county here in California and I don’t know where I can find other goth friends. The nearest goth club is all the way in Anaheim which is almost a couple hours away. I’m just a little bit frustrated on what to do. There really isn’t a lot of gothic things here where I live. There’s not a lot of clothing stores and I haven’t seen a music store anywhere here. Any help would be greatly appreciated cause I’m just a bit frustrated rn

I have a lot of questions as I recently became more interested in the goth subculture. I wanted some answers from goths so I can get a better idea of if I fit it or not 🙏

To start I recently turned 16 and I have loved all different subcultures and stuff since I was 10 but I never really engaged with them out of fear of being judged. I understand that being judged is inevitable, but I my parents weren’t supportive so I was scared. Anyway at 14 I subtly started trying to evolve my style. I just now started doing eyeliner and my lips. I also struggle to buy things because I rely on my parents since I do not have a job due to my mental health and the fact I’m in college and stressed lmao. That’s unrelated I guess I just wanted to give background info if just in case it helps 😓 Also I apologize if this is a lot to read.

Clothing- From what I’ve heard, clothing is mostly diy and thrift. I try to diy clothes that I have like cutting up tights and turning them into tops, cutting up shirts, and bleaching shirts. But right now I am unable to sew anything because I do not own any materials. (I did ask for a sewing machine for Christmas though!) I wanted to know if there are any brands that are okay to buy from.

Accessories- I know that accessories can make an outfit look better. I own a cheap corset and a belt. I like to make things such as jewelry so all of my earrings, waistchains, necklaces, and bracelets I’ve made myself. Are there any other accessories or things I could buy or make for my outfits?

Music- I’ve been trying to find more goth music to listen to but I don’t know what classifies as goth. I love The Cure, London After Midnight and She Wants Revenge and I’ve been told that they’re goth. So I guess I’m asking what classifies as goth music and other band recs based of the ones that I like. <3

Media- I don’t know much goth media so I’d like some recommendations. I reallly like Elvira and I also enjoy Edgar Allen Poe’s stories. I don’t know if that counts or anything so please let me know!

Politics- I don’t know all of the politics of being goth but I’ve been told a crucial part of being goth is the politics but they never share what exactly those politics are. I am part of the LGBTQ+ community. I’m against all homophobia, transphobia, racism, anything along those lines. I hate hateful people. I’m against places like shein and temu for their child labor. I’m pro-choice. I’m also against ai because of the affects on our environment.

History- I try to learn about the history of the gothic subculture because that’s important. I’ve saved tons of things I’ve seen on TikTok about the history and I read through them. I don’t trust TikTok fully though and I’d like some other people to share what they know as well.

Local- I know people say to get involved with your local scenes or whatever but I don’t know how. I have social anxiety which I guess isn’t an excuse but I feel the need to include it lol. I live in a town that’s full of racists with big egos unfortunately. There are no sidewalks in my city and I don’t have a drivers license yet sadly so I have no idea how I’d get involved.

If you actually read all of that, thanks! Obviously I’m not expecting essays as answers, I’d just like a couple tips and recommendations please and thank you!

Baby bat here. I’ve been in the subculture for about two years, and I love it. I’d absolutely say I’m proud to be part of such an accepting, supportive group. So naturally, I like to display my love for the culture in public (Mostly dressing in goth).

Unfortunately, however, I feel increasingly unsafe and paranoid while doing so. I’ve always lived in a rough area, where young violence, discrimination, crime (knife crime in particular) are unfortunately more common than other places (Small town, North east of England) Because of the area, I’ve felt extreme anxiety when walking in public in my typical attire. Every time I’ve tried to reach out to someone, I usually get the “What do you expect with the way you look?”.

As a guy with long hair, schools not the best place either. People constantly touching my hair without consent, taking the piss out of me by asking stupid questions etc. I constantly keep my head on a swivel, and all these issues have only worsened pre existing conditions, like depression and my social awkwardness. Is there any tips anyone can give for someone like me who wants to feel safer while doing something as simple as going outside?

I really really love many things about the goth subculture... The music, the clothes, the architecture (perhaps this one isn't inherently goth but rather gothic) but one thing people on TikTok (Yes, I know... TikTok.) say its that if you aren't an strong communist/left extemist you can't count as a goth.

I really cant side at all with this opinion, because I come from a country (wont say name for sake of my own privacy) with a VERY extremely left-winged government party in which many apps and sites are banned for the sake of not uncovering their corrupted behaviour, with torture centers where people close to me have been r-worded and tortured for not following the government ideas.

Now, this post isn't me trying to be all sad and to gather pity, because that isnt my goal. I just mean to say that I dont feel comfortable following extemist left governments because it has led to the destruction of my country in where also a lot of people cant afford basic medicine. Medicine that I also constantly seek.

Besides, I'm also not a Rightist or a religious person whatsoever or believe that ALL leftist are inheritely corruptive. I just... Dont like extreme political points of views because of my own life experience.

I also want to add that I consider myself overall a progressive person. I agree with LGBTQ, women's rights, movements to help POC & immigrants (me myself I have been an immigrant before)... I just dont agree with other extremist left (nor right) ideas.

Do I still count as a goth? Or am I not valid? I dont know, I just cant really help or change my life experiences to be other way.

Thanks :)

I'm interested in goth and emo subcultures but I want to be both since I'm indecisive with it all....the thought Is killing me pls help

Theres a guy in my class who is obsessed with me. I am the only person at my school who dresses alternative and this guy is obsessed with me because of it. It’s got to the point where when I sit away from him in class he will get up and move seats to be next to me. I have a boyfriend and he has seen pictures of me making out with him but he is still unfazed. I dressed in full goth makeup and a full outfit to go with it hoping it would scare him off. Instead he started complimenting me, AGHH. Have any other goth girls dealt with this? I have to see him pretty much every day in 2 different classes and it is driving me insane. He takes no hints and has severe mommy issues, referring to his mom as “mummy” and “mama”. Has anything worked for anybody to get rid of men like this, what do I do?

I think someone already said this, but the lyrics all just sound like gibberish to me.

Even after I actually tried putting the effort in to understand, it just sounds too abstract to the point where they’re all about nothing.

I eventually resorted to genius or song meanings but most goth songs don’t have a single comment about them.

This has been kind of confusing since I was led to believe goth was political, but most songs really aren’t. Am I less goth because I’m too depressed to care about politics and can’t understand the music?

Hi, I'm not goth and not really educated in the subculture but I know it's alot about politics and music. But recently I've been seeing alot of people on tiktok saying that you can't be alt at all if you're right wing, do you agree with this? Because there is a swedish alt sub cult called viking rock and alot of the viking rockers are white supremacists(not something I agree with). But I feel like there's alot of subcultures where it dosent really matter where you stand in politics and some that are more right wing. So I just want to know everyone's take on this since ik politics is important to goths.

Also a quick side note, if you have any tips for looking more alt I'd love to hear it💞

(Sorry for any broken English it isn't my first language)

I just join the community the last year. I have listened metal bands like Black Sabbat and Candlemass, and I listen ''Bloody Kisses'', and I'm searching music with that kind of vibe. I listen to She Wants Revenge, Evanesence and Nightwish, I'm also a huge fan of Death (And I know thats more Metalhead)

Any suggestions?

Also, thanks all of you for existing and I hope great things for all of you.

I have two friends (F18 and M18) that our goth and, I’m trying to think of what to get them for the holidays and their birthdays. Either makeup brands or just entertainment! Any suggestions? :,) I’m struggling here as I have no clue what to get them but I know they love makeup and love really anything slipknot and they play games aswell so !

(Update they loved there gifts! For anyone curious I got my M18 friend a chikawa plushie and some stuff from lush as I remember them saying they liked lush and what products, and I got my F18 friend some hangyodon hairclips, and some Lego aswell :))

Hey all,

I'm (26, M) going to be spending a month in Japan (Tokyo, Kyoto, Osaka, Hiroshima) in December, and I'll probably be wearing my usual attire for 99.9% of my time, in the form of my painted leather jacket, band shirts, black trousers, platform docs/new rocks and plenty of chains all over.

Will this be alright? I don't want to cause any commotion in the places I visit! And if it is alright, are there any suggestions you might have about what to look at/experience?