I was just eating supper with my family (mom, dad, older brother and me) and the subject of my brother and this girl he's *maybe* seeing came up. We were talking and discussing and it somehow devolved into us arguing over our parent's relationship.

It went something like, my brotehr said "You guys are nothing alike", and I said "No, actually I can see how you're similar", and then my brother said "Well, he can't comment on it anyways, that'd be like a fish making a review of walking". Or at least that's what I think he was saying, he was stuttering a bit.

I accepted this, because I have told my family I haven't really liked anyone (which isn't *strictly* true, but the best explanation for your average allos), but our parents were like "But why can't he have an opinion". Which started a mini discussion.

Several things were happening but it ended when my brother just looked at me and said "Wait, mom doesn't know?" and I was gripped by dead cold fear. He then changed the subject and I tried to take it in stride by making up some other reason for why he said that while appearing desinterested.

I am still not 100%, but I'm pretty sure he knows?? My brother knows I'm aro for some reason, and sure I'm not really subtle but I don't think I've ever told him? I'm a bit freaked and scared rn. With him entering relationships I feel for him, and I feel terrible every time they ask "what about you OP? Anyone we should know about?".

I always thought that I would simply date someone, or I wouldn't, and it wouldn't matter to anyone but me and I was under no obligation to tell my family anything; being on the aroace spectrum is a very intimate thing for me and I dislike talking to anyone about it, let alone anyone I know irl and would also have to educate about it.

I feel stunned, startled, and like there's a pit of dread in my stomach. Attraction and the lack of it and how they mix with what I want as a person is already enough on me, it's all I want, I don't want my parents questioning me about me.

On April 7th, at 8 PM EST, my film “Life Without It” will be released. The film is the first feature length by and about aromantics, asexuals, and those on its spectrums.

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You can find the film’s trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTPJuY7-EUo&t=6s

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The film also has the support of SHEAUXTIME Collective, Inc., a production company that specialize in aroace media. You can find there website here: https://www.sheauxtime.com/

I just want to share this song with you that is really aro coded imo. The full title is BYOB (bring your own bestfriend) by BILLLIE, especially the English version because it is more relatable.

One of the verses is "He's on my SNS, keep liking all my photos. They say he's flirting But how can you know it for sure? That's not fun Talkin' 'bout it all night long And again, we got stuck in a loop That boy's too cool, too cute. I don't know, tell me what should I do? I can't relate to you"

And these lyrics are just hitting so close to home for me, because they present exactly how I feel when my friends won't stop talking about boys. I hope some of you will love the song as much as I do, because it's literally the most relatable song I as an aromantic teenage girl have ever heard.

hi i am new here any advice

I feel like I keep trying to convince myself that I have a crush on someone. I made this friend who I thought was really funny and I wanted to get to know him better, and I kept thinking that I might have a crush on him. I really wanted him to like me and want to talk to me. He just recently hinted that he was into someone else and I really didn't feel anything. Now that we're better friends I don't feel any way about him at all. I've never had a crush on anyone and I don't even know what it would feel like. I'm still young and unsure about romance and what romantic attraction would feel like, but I don't think I've felt it towards anyone. That being said, I really want to have the experience of being close to someone and having someone care about me that deeply. I do like the idea of it in fiction; I love reading romance and think it's sweet, but I can't imagine thinking about anyone in that way. Idk, can anyone relate to this? Should I question whether I'm aromantic or have I just not met the right person?

hi. I broke up with my girlfriend today, and the reason really got me thinking. We broke up because, not for the first time, I began to feel trapped in the relationship and uninterested as if being with her was more of an obligation that I had to do for the sake of it than the relationship actually being fulfilling and having a positive effect on my life. I’ve done this many times before with various other serious partners. I’ve considered the probable possibility of me being aromantic but never actually come to terms with it, not because I see anything wrong with it but because I know that officially accepting and using the label would change my life in ways that I’m not ready for. The weird thing is that I experience physical attraction, Ive had a good few crushes but whenever the person begins to like me back and ESPECIALLY when that crush turns into a relationship I instantly feel repulsed. I’m not sure whether this is just because I’m a very independent person. I don’t like people who cling and hold me back, I don’t like sharing intimate details about myself and I don’t like commitment. But at the same time I’m almost sure it’s something deeper than that: for example aromanticism.

Any advice?

I'm aroace, and this month I've kind of started to become interested in one of my friends and they're interested in me, but I've been feeling really, like, REALLY, anxious just thinking about all this situation, and I just wanted to know if this is normal?? I know this sounds like a stupid question and I could ask this in another community, but I feel more comfortable here...

Okay so before i start, this is my first time posting anything on reddit so i have NO IDEA what i'm doing or if this is the right place to post it but a friend of my mine said i should come on here and ask to get.... "Profesional" help?

Anyway so i've come to the realization that i might be a part of the LBGTQ+ Community around the beginning of the pandemic. Specifically, i came to the conclusion of being PanSexual because i didn't really have a preference in gender i could be attracted to and me being Bisexual just didn't sound right. (nothing wrong with being bi of course! It just didn't feel right to put ME in that area if that makes sense!) I was fine and was even telling some friends of mine that i was pan but in 2023 and the first month of 2024 has been slowly changing(?) my mind about it.

I have never been in love or found anyone... attractive (i mean i'm not blind, i've seen very attractive and appealing to the eye people before but i never thought of dating them. And yes this includes dating celebrities.) the point i wanted form a relationship with them before. And i have never really thought of sex as a... fun activity to do. To be honest i just thought it was because i've been homeschooled my whole life and that i was just anti social to others outside of my already made family and friend group. To make it easier to understand the absolute mess of my brain is right now, i believe i might be aroace.

The thing is does that mean i'm not pan at all? Can i be pan while aroace? Or am i just making a big deal over nothing and i'm simply to anti social to make any new connections?

I'm sorry for the rant but if someone could help me and willing to give advice i would really appreciate it.

I know Kash is probably not aro, but as an student who's aro I loved her response and how nonchalantly she said it.

https://youtu.be/esgkKbvJaKQ?si=skuacNREwIn3X-8m

I have identified as aro for a while but sometimes I wonder if I’m just scared to be in a relationship.I have never wanted to have a romantic life with someone else and sort of get grossed out by the thought of it so this probably sounds strange but im lithromantic so I feel romantic attraction but if they like me back I’m like eww gross so is this just apart of being lithro? Or is it just normal to question?

https://www.reddit.com/r/Aromanticteens/s/qJrws9FRqo

So I'm going to come out to my nieces mom first cause for a headstart, then my mom and then my brother.

But I don't know exactly when I'm going to tell them.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Aromanticteens/s/oEt84oTZal

So I want to come out to my family & friends, but the thing is some of my family members are homophobic and not very supportive and not very trustworthy. My mom is very accepting and supportive and trustworthy so I will tell her, My brother is accepting, supportive and trustworthy as well so I will tell him, my nieces mom are very accepting, supportive and somewhat trustworthy so I will tell her, but when my nieces get older I will probably tell them, my friends & family members are homophobic or not accepting or supportive or very trustworthy or young.

But the thing is I don't know how to tell them

Since I could remember I thought I was straight until I turned 11, but then something happened I started to have attraction towards guys but my attraction towards girls was fading and so I thought I was gay and then months past and my attraction towards girls started to come back, so I thought I was bisexual, that was when I realized I was aromantic. And then a year passed and I was 12 and my attraction towards guys faded and so I thought I was straight and then years later after I turned 14, my attraction towards girls faded and then 2.5 years later I was 16 years old and then my attraction towards guys started to come back.

My pronouns are They/Them

She (teen and female) is aroace on the (sorta?) replused part of the ace spectrum and she wants to call me (also teen) her (very platonic) lover. She also simps for a couple of fictional characters. How do I talk to her, without being insensitive to her identity as aroace? We (platonically) flirt alot but alot of my sex jokes fly over my head. I've also made the mistake of saying she's not aroace because she simps for fictional characters, and I hope to not make the same mistake again and make anymore mistakes that might be insensitive to her.

The title is just the vague, general question. Please answer with what you hope from friendships with non aroace people. I also have a couple of more specific questions:

1] Should I stop making sexual jokes around her? If not, should I explain what the sexual joke I said means to her? I'm afraid of making her feel left out but it's also a small joke in our friend group that she is oblivious to some of the sex jokes we make.

2] Can you teach me more about the aro/ace community and how it works? I am somewhat informed in how aro/aceness work but I want to learn more.

3] Could you tell me more about any aro/ace history? I (a bit) know of the Stonewall story for gay, trans, people but I was wondering if there are any aro/ace equivalent of that story.

4] I know that aroace people face discrimination, but in what way?

5] Is there such a thing as aroace conversation therapy? Sad if true :(((( it sounds horrible.

6] what is your experience with aroaceness?

You don't need to answer all the questions.

Thank you.

Hello,

I’m a little curious, how do y’all imagine your future. I mean, do you want a family, a (or multiple) partners/friends you live with, or maybe living alone. Children? Pets?…

And as aromantic (a-spec), how hard do you think it is? Do you have questions about the logical part?

I’ll comment mine. Anyway, have a good day!

I dunno bout other places but in my school all my friends and everyone in general has been getting real exited for December 3rd to give their significant other their sweater. Personally I don't quite get the buzz so I'm just curious what everyone else thinks??

ATTENTION: Over the course of the following months I’ll be interviewing people for a documentary film to be entitled Life Without It. It is going to be a film about asexuals, aromatics, and all those on the spectrums.

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The interviews themselves will be conducted over Discord, Googlemeet, or whatever video call system that the person I’m interviewing has. This project is not affiliated with any media companies nor independent film companies. This film is simply just to be the second feature and historical document by an independent filmmaker.

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My credentials to make this film truthfully lie in my previous film We Are Their Children, a documentary film about the queer community at L’Anse Creuse High School.

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If you wish to be interviewed please send me a message or comment here. Also, if you know other people who would want to be a part of this film please tell them and send them in the right direction, my outreach can only go so far.

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Your help with this project would mean so much to me. Plus you’ll have a permanent record in the history of asexuals, aromantics, and all those else on the spectrums.

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If you have any questions about this project please tell me below.

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This weekend my and two allo friends were talking. They ask me for advice a lot since I’m close with both their partners and honestly I asked them. “What is romantic attraction to you?” I ended up crying and they were comforting me. They were explaining that “well maybe you haven’t found the right one” or something about my definition of love is different. So I explained that it isn’t finding the right one, it’s knowing I won’t find a romantic partner and be able to reciprocate their feeling in a 100% return way. I feel like I’m not doing my part cause I want to be in a relationship and my “crushes” are just people I like to hang out with. In my past relationships I never felt I saw them more as friends but it was the fact they were there and liked me. It’s just frustrating cause I acknowledge I’m aro spec, but I don’t know how to handle it in a sense. I’m not romantic repulsed (sometimes I’m uncomfortable with it tho). The feeling is just not 100% there or strong. Does anyone feel like similar to this?? Like feeling like a fraud about romance?

I want to try eventually going out with someone. But I honestly don’t know if I would actually like it.

My brain wants to, but then my brain freaks out when it actually happens, but I keep thinking perhaps it won’t and I can give it a try?

I just wish I could experiment with someone who feels the same. I don’t want to agree with a relationship with someone just to be uncomfortable and back out, I don’t want to use anyone but…

I just keep thinking how I would go out with my friends if asked, but I remember I don’t remember even know what kind of attraction I feel, because I am happy as we are as friends.

I don’t know, this whole being a teenager thing is complicated and I just want to live my life, while not hurting anyone, help?

I'm not sure if I'm romance repulsed or not, but I can't stand romance in media. There are a few exceptions but I find romance in books and shows unneeded and honestly kind of cringe. It feels like bad filler or something the creator just slapped on top for fun. I've stop watching/reading multiple shows/books because I couldn't stand the romantic side plot in them.

Is this just a me thing or do other people feel the same? It seems like most allos like these things so I'm curious if there are aros who feel the same or if I'm just romance repulsed or something along those lines.

Take into consideration that I'm only gonna turn 17 in October. And I know what I'm doing is wrong.

I've been questioning this for a while. I know I'm still young but I don't think I have ever loved someone romantically. I always lied to others about my "crushes" or gaslighted myself into thinking I like someone romantically. Even at a young age I always "had a crush" in the boys other girls had a crush on. I never liked those boys romantically. Later on I picked out someone and said I have a crush on them. I even gaslighted into thinking I like them. l had several best friends throughout the years and I always thought I love them but it was just platonic love not romantic. Tho I've always loved romance and anything romantic. I've always wanted to be in a relationship. I've always dreamed about going on cute/romantic dates and stuff. I recently started dating my best friend. I don't like him romantically at all. He is kinda obsessed with me and I thought I'll take advantage of that. Again, I know what I'm doing is really wrong. But I've always wanted a relationship. I accidentally caused that his girlfriend broke up with him. I didn't know he had a gf and he wanted to be polyamorous but his gf didn't. I feel bad ab that. I did this before. I know it's wrong there's no need to tell me. I know I'm selfish and a bad person. So yeah, I don't think I've ever loved someone romantically. Sometimes I thought I found someone I love but when it faded and I thought back I realized I gaslighted myself again. I'm also a bit scared of romantic stuff. Like, I don't really know how to act. Tho I get really flustered by romantic gestures but I also wanna throw up when it hits me that I'm in a relationship. I've always felt disgusted in the first few days of my relationships. I felt trapped. Also, I don't know if that has to do with anything but I'm autistic.