i have some pretty severe noise sensitivity issues and chronic fatigue, and today im going to a protest for the first time since i developed those issues. it may be hard, but i garuntee that in palestine theres some kid with my exact issues exhausted and overstimulated to shit from the bombs being dropped on their head. being disabled isnt an excuse to stay for less time and do less than it takes to make an impact.

so how long and how much is that?

edit: i was unable to gather sufficient data to form an opinion before going to the protest, and it didnt end up being relevant anyway (broke down crying and had to leave after they started talking about the dead being denied proper burials), but now im pretty sure that there is no way to quantify this and it was silly to ask. apologies and thanks for your patience

last night one of our freinds said that they dont donate to palestinians because of severe moral ocd, and while i was rotating that in my head trying to figure out if it was a good enough excuse, i realized that im not really one to talk. i bankrupt myself donating to palestinians every month and the only reason im not dead in a ditch somewhere is because i live with my parents

for some godforsaken reason i decided to say this realization in the discord were in with our freinds, and they both affirmed the realization that, should the amount of worry i have about this be something wrong with me, its bad and pointed out two things: that one of our alters (m3 🙄) does nothing anymore but interrogate our freinds about what theyre doing for palestine, and that half the time they see me im having a moral dilemma.

a direct quote is: "your protector is being actively persecutive to people in your life about it and several other world issues (like projecting your morality complex onto others by implying that we also have an obligation to bankrupt ourselves for people in need and cant spend any money on nice things like commissions) and you're already tearing yourself apart over it by inflicting what she does onto yourself. yeah it's bad scout"

so am i being insane and unreasonable, or do our freinds just not understand?

w3 hav3 evidenc3 tha+ th3 frein|) wh0 doesn+ donat3 i$ a+ leas+ boycottin9

i just found out that one of my closest freinds hasnt been donating to palestine, with the reasoning being that their moral ocd is really bad, which sorta makes sense at least to me

i also know theyre going to vote kamala, although against their will in an attempt to survive

i really dont want to have to abandon them to be a good person. but i think i might have to, but its also 4:39 am and i havent slept and might not be thinking sane things

as it is, im a high school dropout who's too disabled to work (debilitating fatigue, sensory issues, memory loss, executive dysfunction, and definetly others that arent coming to mind right this second). all my freinds are on the internet because i only know how to make them through rp, and i depend on my parents for transportation because the things that prevent me from getting a job also prevent me from driving and i never have money for public transit.

but the thing is there are no protests in denver colorado anymore so if nobody else is gonna do it then i'll organize one

it feels like theres nothing i can do this election that wont make me complicit in genocide. dont vote or vote 3rd party and i'm complicit in project 2025 and trump worsening the palestinian genocide. vote kamala, and i'm complicit in the continuation of the palestinian genocide.

neither me or any of my freinds can afford to leave the country and we're all dead if project 2025 happens - we're all leftist and queer, disabled, poc, and/or afab on top of that.

i know my freinds who are adult us citizens are most likely voting kamala for those reasons - they dont want to die - but i know theyre otherwise doing everything they can to help palestine and will continue to after the election. theyre voting for her against their wills because they dont wanna fucking die and i have been directly told this is the reasoning

do i have to abandon my freinds to be a good person? ive been using the above reasoning + the fact i would become even more suicidal than i already am due to the election if i did to avoid having to do that, but im not sure if im just making excuses or not

“Look at this lefty! Must be hopped up on goofballs again” 😏

Saw a post today on r/canadian that was literally some guy complaining about people speaking Hindi in public and how its making them miserable.

And this just seems like a common thing now in these types of communities.