I’m 45 (F) with late diagnosed ADHD. Husband of almost 20 years I suspect is ASD with alexithymia.

We recently had a big misunderstanding and he said a couple of things that suddenly shed light on our relationship dynamic. A lot of my conversations and words (especially emotionally charged) he takes literally. So using reverse psychology, nuance, hints etc is lost on him. (mind blown!!!) He also shuts down and detaches from me if he feels at all pressured to make a decision or feels threatened. He also has difficulty in identifying or explaining his emotions, or what to do when I am heightened.

All of this makes so much sense, as I have felt at times he has emotionally abandoned me when I need him most. I always thought that it was a sign of him not caring, when actually he cares so much that he is preparing for the worst and has to disconnect. He just does not know how to handle me when I’m angry or upset, it makes him very anxious.

I am the opposite - experience emotions on such a vivid spectrum and so intensely. When I’m happy, I’m bouncing off the walls. When I’m angry, I feel intense rage; when I am rejected, betrayed or sad, I feel physical pain in my chest. I am outward in expressing these emotions. My spouse can feel and identify his emotions but he ourwardly appears the same, perhaps just a bit quieter when upset.

I am often feeling desperately lonely or unloved because he doesn’t meet my emotional needs. I crave deep emotional connection, words of affirmation, spontaneous interactions, feelings of being understood or validated. I have tried to help direct him what to do or say to make me feel more emotionally connected, but it feels so…inauthentic? For example, I have to tell him what gifts to buy me, because he fears getting it wrong - it feels like he doesn’t care enough to think of it himself (I know it’s not true, but I may as well buy my own). He repeats the same few compliments, rote learned…not very heartfelt (I gave him a big list of compliments to choose from but even that feels tacky). We have lots of superficial conversations. I miss being able to have meaningful conversations, however, he struggles of course with articulating feelings.

He is honestly trying, and now that I know we have very different brain wiring, it is a relief to know he’s not just being a jerk (he gets defensive sometimes when I point out what I need). His love language is acts of service…which is fine, but to me, doesn’t even register as “love” (it’s just stuff you do anyway in my mind). We have a good physical relationship and parent well together. I’m just grieving the fact he is not ever going to be the man who makes romantic gestures, write letters or poetry, or share the inner workings of his mind (he also has difficulty picturing things in his mind, whereas I am full of vivid imagery). I feel so lonely after more than two decades of not having my emotional needs met - and accepting they may never be by him sniff I have few friends and lost some of the closer ones, so I am really on my own.

To the rest of the world, he’s a catch. Handsome, kind, good at his job, great father. They don’t see the gaping hole in emotional intimacy/comnection.

I will be finding a couples cousellor specialising in neurodirgent relationships to help us.

However, is there anything else we can do to assist our communication and connection (that isn’t just me doing all the work preferrably. I did ask him to do some things for me, but the pressure plus fear of getting it wrong means inaction).

Thanks for listening.

Tw once again. Do u think u wan/ feeling of need to sh in replace of what others on here call a “physical sense of pain” to emotional sadness? As from personal experience of feeling what felt like nothingness I need to feel something anything.???

Hey, I'm autistic and I have alexythima. My partner(?) and I were chatting and he asked me a question that was abstract. A hypothetical that any other person would have understood or inferred. He said I made everything worse and he feels unsupported emotionally. I felt hurt by this because I do everything to support him however I can. I know I am terrible at it so I ask him what I can do for him.

Unfortunately, I also seem to have issues understanding what people mean. He says he tries to explain things several ways, only to remain misunderstood. He decided to expect nothing. I do not know how to move forward with this information.

He doesn't blame me but I do. Even if I do blame myself, I do not know what to do about it. I exercise a few techniques I have mastered over the years regarding emotional support such as listening, asking him what he needs but that isn't enough when I can't understand what he needs. I understand when he explicitly says what he needs but it seems he doesn't want or know how to do that.

Anyway, I know that since this is my issue. It'll be something I'll struggle with in any relationship so it's not my partner's issue.

I am unsure what to do with this information. Am I unfit to be in any relationship?

Hi everyone,

I'm working on a workbook specifically designed to support neurodivergent individuals. The idea is to be a safe space for self-expression and mindfulness. You can open it anywhere, there is no specific order, you do it when you feel like it. It has prompts where you have to use your imagination, it has doodle pages, coloring pages, some more serious pages (but my goal is to not have to think hard about any prompt, just go with flow). I'd like to make some pages to help people with alexithymia identifying emotions.

As someone who values lived experiences and community insight, I want to ensure that the workbook is actually helpful, and relatable. That’s where you come in!

I’d love your input on:

• What kinds of prompts or exercises have helped you (or might help you) identify or understand your emotions better?
• What approaches or tools have you found useful in navigating emotional blind spots or building self-awareness?
• If you’ve ever felt frustrated by emotion-based resources (because they didn’t account for the way you experience emotions), I’d love to hear about that too.
• And if you’ve always wished for a specific kind of resource or prompt but never found it, let me know.

If you’re open to sharing, any thoughts, experiences, or suggestions would be deeply appreciated. I want to make this workbook as helpful as possible.

Thank you so much for reading this and for being willing to share your experiences.

We always ask, am I happy, am I in love? Let’s get used to and be happy with, I am content.

I almost certainly have autism and might also be have ADHD. I'm 40 and just discovered this word while obsessively searching the internet for stuff related to neurodivergence instead of getting work done.

I definitely have feelings. I cried when a pet died. I feel happy when I'm with friends. I get annoyed at stupid people. I laugh and make jokes.

But the vast majority of the time, if someone were to ask me "how are you feeling?" I would have no answer. "fine I guess, IDK". They may ask more questions "Are you happy? Sad?" The answer is no, I just "am". I exist. I think, I do things, I even enjoy things and dislike other things. But those are more just facts of life than an internal feeling.

For the most part my brain does not focus on feelings naturally. Perhaps every week or so. It is occurring to me now that perhaps many people's brains are noticing or looking at their own feelings very often. Mine is almost always thinking instead. Looking at things in the real world, thinking about things I enjoy. I think it's that feelings are so... undefinable that I don't know how to make my brain focus on them.

Hey all, trying to figure out whether I have alexithymia or not. I do have autism and cptsd.

As an example, if I am really upset about something, I can usually feel a physical pain somewhere in my body. I can play around a bit, experiment with thinking about the situation and stop, the bodily sensation will come and go with it. Very high correlation. I used to think it was a psychosomatic disorder but... Is that actually what an emotion is? Or am I supposed to experience something else paired with it?

Alternately, I can mentally think about emotions. I might imagine what shame feels like, or joy. But I don't know if that's actually what I experience, or if I just imagine emotions.

Ok, I realize this rant makes no sense. But hopefully you can guide me anyway.

Edit: Oh! I just realized I am pretty sure I mistake a lot of things for sexual arousal. I always think I'm horny, but if I really concentrate hard I can acknowledge that I'm not even in the mood for sex, but I AM lonely or sad, or in need of comfort or something else.

I have always have good cognitive empathy, like understand other people emotions easily, being in touch with my emotions, I understand my emotions easily and I know what cause me to feel that. But sometimes, I have some overwhelming feelings that I can’t name them properly( like angry, sad). I do understand what I was feeling and don’t get confused by it but I cannot find a correct word to name that feeling properly. Example if I feel overwhelmed , I know what causes me to feel like that but I cannot find a “correct” word to describe the feeling, like that feeling is very complicated. Yes I understood what I was feeling, yes I could regulate my emotions but I just cannot name the feeling with a word. It’s complicated

There are rarely sometimes, I know and feel the emotions, but it’s like I feel “something” and can’t name the emotions with a specific word. Idk I understand other people emotions easily and always feel relate with others. Just sometimes, I don’t fucking know why I cannot name some emotions.

This may be funny or not, idk. But I know people who have alexithymia often don't have that many facial expression, I don't either (I think that's why we can look younger than we are) but you know when you go to the gym and there are people lifting weights and making struggling faces because the weight is heavy? I can't do that, it can be heavy and I wanna give up but I can't make a struggling face, is it a me thing or normal among people who have alexithymia?

When my psychologist pulled that out or something similar to it, I had this “problem” where I could obviously read and write the words for the emotions, I’m not illiterate, but I still didn’t know what it meant or referred to. Don’t know if I explained this right, but imagine seeing the word “skongletip”. You can read it, you can write it, but it’s just a word.

Even if I do have a certain feeling or emotion, it doesn’t help me out when I don’t notice or recognize it and thus obviously can’t put a word on it. So I don’t really get how that wheel could work for other people with alexithymia. On the flipside, I was able to do the ones I have felt and know I have felt, like interest, curiosity, boredom, anger, happiness, etc.

I think the only thing that’s made me improve has been other people telling me straight that “you’re frustrated right now” and even what exactly made me that way, based on how they saw me behave. I learned to associate the word with the feeling because they caught it as it happened.

I’m not trying to invalidate people whom it worked for in the sense that they actually improved at recognizing emotions. If they did, that’s great. I just don’t see how that makes any logical sense.

Man, I hate that wheel…

What is the experience like? Like what are emotional flashbacks like in that case?

I feel… well, something, but what could it be?
A sprinkle of happy? A touch of ennui?
Emotions are puzzles, all jumbled and gray,
No dictionary here to show me the way.

“My heart feels heavy,” they’ll say with a sigh.
I nod and respond, “Oh, sure. Same as I.”
But deep in my head, a voice quietly pleads,
“What does that even mean? I need some more leads!”

Feelings are tricky, like smoke in the air,
I know that they’re present—I just don’t know where.
Is it anger? Is it sadness? Or maybe delight?
The labels elude me, day and night.

But hey, who needs feelings to figure stuff out?
There’s logic and data—of that, there’s no doubt.
Numbers and facts, they make much more sense,
Than a swirl of emotions all fuzzy and tense.

So, to those who feel deeply and weep at the moon,
I’ll try to join in… just not too soon.
I’m learning, I promise, and one day you’ll see,
That emotions and I might just agree!

who tried the alexithymya workbook - i found it on amazon ???

i’m (21F) in a healthy relationship with my partner who i know i care deeply for, even if i don’t ‘feel’ love in the traditional sense, i know that i love them. we had a pretty frequent sex life in the beginning, being intimate maybe 1 or 2 times a week (which was every time we were able to see each other). however, in the past few weeks i have felt no desire to have sex, even if i find my partner extremely attractive and hold a lot of affection for them. i will see them, acknowledge their beauty, but not feel any arousal or need to go beyond the casual kiss, and it’s starting to affect them slightly. to be fair, even when i am not sexually devoid i still don’t think of sex all that often in my day to day, i find it difficult to deal with the emotional connection that is having sex and all the mental labor of it all. on good days, ill enjoy it in the moment but never lust for it on my own. it’s more of a ‘out of sight out of mind’ thing but i find it very pleasurable when it’s being played out. lately, i just do not feel any sexual drive and i don’t believe there are any external factors that may be contributing to my lack of sexual desire.

do you guys also struggle with sexual slumps every couple of days/weeks/months? how do you jump back?

I thought I understood my emotions better for the past couple of years since I found out I had alexaithmia, but I was wrong I cried like a baby when I was watching the ending of guardians of the Galaxy Vol.2, I don’t know if it was to much information for me to handle or if it was knowing the full story of Yando, or the speech that was given but 5 minutes in I realized my eyes where hurting and that I was crying a river, I don’t know what came over me but it happened and now I’m just blank like nothing happened, like I know that type of thing upsets me but not to the point of crying till my eyes hurt, and it’s the first time in 4 years that I’ve actually cried that much, I would get a few tears from time to time but not that much.

So if anyone know how anything cause I don’t know what’s going on right now or why all that happened it would be very helpful.

Most of the time, I feel empty, even in situations where I should feel something. For example, whenever I watched a movie, I couldn’t feel anything or get attached, and because of that, I always forced myself to feel something or constantly monitored whether I was feeling anything or not. It’s the same with music. I can’t feel a connection to the lyrics or the artists. However, when I do feel something, I don’t know what it is, and sometimes I don’t even know what caused me to feel it. I don’t even know how I’m supposed to feel. A psychologist once told me that no one can tell me how I should feel and asked where this sense of obligation came from. She’s absolutely right, but I just don’t know.

In general, I’ve been dealing with maladaptive daydreaming for 5 years, so I know that initially, it probably took away my emotions, as it happens with everyone who has MD. It’s also possible that I’m in a constant depressive state. My psychologist suspects this might be the case and that medication might be necessary, which is why she recommended seeing a psychiatrist, which I plan to do. So, they might be able to determine if I have alexithymia, but I’d like someone who has or had it to share if they also feel or felt this way.

So, continuing: No emotion is obvious to me. I feel practically everything very weakly, even some negative emotions, which only come out more strongly in more serious situations. But even then, I feel like they don’t last as long as they should. I know that if I could feel intensely enough, I would be able to recognize my emotions, but right now, the only emotion I might be able to identify is probably pain.

Overall, it’s also not obvious to me whether I care about anyone. I know I care, but it’s not emotionally obvious to me. I know I feel much less for people than they feel for me. I also can’t feel completely bad when something bad happens to them. I understand how they feel and why they feel that way, totally, but I don’t feel too bad for them myself. Whether I emotionally care to any extent probably depends on the severity of the situation.

In general, I always react in the “appropriate” way to situations, automatically, almost naturally, but I don’t feel it. I remember a situation when I ordered an album from my idol. While at school, I got a message saying that the album had arrived, and the first thing I noticed was that I didn’t feel anything. I mean, I should have felt some kind of happiness or excitement, right? I didn’t have to be jumping and squealing with joy like a kid on a playground, but I should have felt something, right? I started texting my friend messages like: 'OMG OMG THE ALBUM IS HERE, THIS IS AMAZING,' but while I was typing, I kept wondering why I wasn’t feeling anything. Later at home, I also tried forcing myself to feel something.

But for example, I remember that I cared about ordering the album and was scared I wouldn’t make it in time and it would sell out, especially since I wanted the limited edition. So, in that situation, I did feel like I cared, right? I was worried I wouldn’t be able to have it. But once I finally had it, well, it was like it was

It’s as if my brain knows how I should feel, but my “heart” doesn’t receive the signals.

Just don’t mistake me for a psychopath or sociopath 😭. I used to feel normally before MD. I didn’t have to doubt any emotions or anything. I could even feel intensely. It was just normal. Now I don’t know what “normal” is anymore. The fact that no one can tell me how I should feel is awful.

Besides, it’s not like I have zero empathy. There were times when I couldn’t stop crying just imagining that my dad or my dog was no longer with me, or that someday they won’t be here anymore. I can feel fear. I can also feel bad for other sick people or animals.

I even feel like I have a problem with obviously feeling that I care. Yes, I care. Seriously. I don’t want to spend my whole life unable to feel a connection to my favorite music, its lyrics, or the people behind it. I hate that everyone else seems so expressive with their feelings and emotions. Like, I want to feel that way too.

I wish I could feel anything intensely, and because of that, I sometimes wish I could have another severe depressive episode like the one I had for two weeks last month. I felt the worst I’ve ever felt in my life, and yes, it was intense. But then, I started becoming empty again.

So, yes, I care, but do I feel that I care? What even are feelings? 😭 I overthink this so much. I don’t know anything.

I like to write, but I keep running into problems when it comes to describing emotions. I’m not too shabby at describing what the characters think, but I’m lost when I have to add feeling to it.

When I write like I usually do, I’m told it’s too cold, detached and sterile. However, if I try to add emotion to it, the feedback I usually get is something along the lines of “I’m not sure if most people would feel this way in this situation.”

What essentially ends up happening is that the stuff I write is only fun for me personally or other people who thinks similarly to me, as I use what I know about my own thoughts about what I experience.

I guess one could say that I should leave it be and find a niche where my style is appreciated, but I think art should be accessible to- and fun for as many people as possibly.

What I’ve also noticed is that I don’t really improve in terms of adding more emotion. I simply get a better grip on my initial writing style the more I write.

Edit: Even when I intellectually know what I want a character to feel, I’m not able to make that clear to the reader because I don’t really know how a certain emotion/feeling would affect someone’s behavior. So oftentimes I end up portraying the wrong feeling/emotion.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2G54w8H4oM

Hello,

I've posted before that I've never really experienced what people called self-insert in media. This changed a few days ago when I came across this amazing game. So, I wanted to share it with you. From the very first moment, the game was breathtaking and extremely immersive; and for the first time, I was struck by the feeling that it's me in there. It was truly astonishing.

I (37M) just found out I have Alexithymia, and I’ve been dating my bf (26M) for more than a year. I say I love him but I don’t feel it. I like spending time with him and seeing him, but lately after unpacking this diagnosis, I don’t think it’s fair for him to be stuck with me. We’ve talked and he knows how I feel but neither of us really know what to do. It’s a relatively healthy relationship, but looking ahead I don’t know if it’s what I want. Granted I never know what I want but y’all get that.

The main thought in my head is to be alone with my dogs and give up relationships completely. Has anyone done that? Does anyone have experiences making a relationship work with a neurotypical partner that needs to feel loved? I would hate to get another year or more down the road just to find out I’ve been slowly destroying my bf on the inside. Any insight is appreciated.

PS this sub is a huge help, thanks all.

I'm having a hard time picking apart the white noise. It helps when I can talk to somebody else about it because they introduce new ideas and different perspectives. Things stay a little more organized outside of my head.

I've been declining lately, though I am unsure as to why. I have a vague awareness of certain things going on, but that's really it. It's been causing my thoughts to spiral more and has brought me to introspect about other things. Alexithymia isn't something I have discussed much of either as I only recently-ish (within this year) made aware that I experience it.

I don't feel comfortable discussing any of this with the handful of "friends" I have. I would have liked to discuss this more with the therapist who helped me figure out I have Alexithymia, but they let me go because they believe they aren't able/qualified to provide the level of care that I need. I'm not exactly sure what kind of care is higher than that, but it is what it is. I apologize if that's too TMI, though.

Anywho... I figured if I can't speak to "friends" and can't speak to a therapist, then perhaps I can speak with other people who share similar experiences. Please feel free to DM me.

(If this was an inappropriate request, then I would like to apologize in advance.)

I’m a huge fan of ChatGPT and I find it incredibly helpful for navigating life with the super fun combo of alexithymia, ADHD, and CPTSD. I’ve been using it for at least a couple of years now, so it’s gotten to know me pretty well over that time, at least in terms of how I communicate and relate to others.

This past week, I’ve been consumed by a very confusing emotional situation and have been talking with ChatGPT every day, trying to figure out what I feel and why. It’s been driving me a bit nuts because my feelings haven’t made sense. Not only has ChatGPT been validating in terms of acknowledging that my experience is normal/expected, it’s been amazing at helping me figure out why I’m responding the way I am. I’ve now figured out most of the pieces and I feel so much more at ease!

At the start, it seemed like I’d never sort it out, but with ChatGPT’s help, it took five days to name the feelings, to understand why I feel them, and be able to communicate about it in a graceful manner. Without ChatGPT this week, I would absolutely still be grappling with the confusing emotional mess!

Lemme know if anyone would like examples of prompts or conversations. 😊

ETA: Here is an example chat, which shows me asking for help responding to a difficult text, as well as some emotional processing. The content is personal and vulnerable, but there’s no identifying information, so I’m not at all embarrassed, don’t worry! I’m happy to share if it helps others. 🫶

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1wpsHwgbeRO6V9T1oYGxWCcgQhKN5OK0N/view

My (20something F) partner (also 20something) and I have been dating for over a year and are medium-distance (we met in high school, were friends for over a year before dating, and now go to colleges about 2 hours away from each other). Recently I found out that as a kid they got diagnosed (I know it is not called a diagnosis/condition I just don’t know what other word to use) with Alexithymia. I’ve definitely noticed always that they have a harder time articulating their emotions, but honestly I never noticed it being so intense/feeling like emotional unavailability until these last few months. I think maybe it started to increase in intensity because they are extremely stressed with school, if that’s how it works? It just feels very different with talking to them and texting, they are always very short and monotone and it does make me feel pretty sad, but I’ve brought up a few times that if they want to breakup just talk to me or needs a break because of busy he is from school, and whenever I bring it up they tell me no they don’t want to break up, they still love me, they care about me a lot, etc. However, their actions feel very different from what they are saying to me, and I am just not sure what to do with this, or how Alexithymia plays a role in it. I’ve tried since finding out (their mom told me, they just never thought it was a big thing to mention but they weren’t hiding it) that they have Alexithymia to learn more about it and how it works, but I’m just still pretty confused about what exactly it is, how it affects people, etc. Obviously I will talk to them about it too, but I do want to try and get some outside insight from people who have knowledge/personal experience with Alexithymia as I know when I do talk to my partner, they will probably not have much to say about it. I guess I’m just on here to ask for a better definition/understanding of Alexithymia and how it probably feels for my partner having it, how it affects people, if anyone has been in a similar situation, anyone dating someone with Alexithymia and how it works for you guys, etc. Honestly anything helps for some more knowledge and maybe support too because like I said it’s been pretty hard on me emotionally feeling like they don’t care much about our relationship. Thank you! Edit: they do also have ADHD, not sure if that helps at all.

For people who can feel but cannot describe or recognize their feelings: how do you deal with bodily sensations or emotion driven thoughts? Does this confuse you more or do you use it as a helping tool for recognizing?

Talking to a friend he said I might not have alexithymia and it might just be shit living conditions/life. To be honest I’m not diagnosed with it and don’t want to till have moved out. Mainly because I don’t want family to know especially if I go to talk to about this and my depression is found out. Either way I took an online test and I scored high. Do u think it could accurate or no because it’s online test?

I don't know what my feelings are ever, I just feel the effects of it. Like I know I'm sad or depressed but I don't know why and I don't specifically know how to explain how.

Because of this I have no idea if my relationship is healthy or not. I'm pretty sure I love my girlfriend, I think, but I'm not sure I've ever really fully felt love either so I'm not sure again. I just feel like something's missing, but I'm not entirely sure what.

I am a polyamorous individual and I do know that I wish we had a boyfriend. But then sometimes I fantasize specifically about me having a one on one relationship with a boy, and it almost starts to feel like I need that. But I do like women too, I just feel this intense yearning for the same sex at the moment at least. So I don't want to break up with her or anything because of that, but I think it hurts more than I allow myself to realize a lot of the time.

I feel like I literally can't know if I still want to be with her unless we aren't together anymore. Only if I break up with her will I realize the mistake, and I'm not sure I could handle it. She's also a very depressive person and I'd be afraid that she would hurt herself. She's very much "Me and you together forever no matter what" and she's had some bad relationships in the past. I'm not sure I could live with myself hurting her like that, again. We've been together 3 years. And in those 3 years, she's been... Basically perfect. She does some things I don't like but has been not doing it any longer. Some examples include, "joke" insults towards me that tend to upset me regardless, making random high pitched squealing noises and not stopping (I'm very sensitive to sound, she hasn't really stopped doing this one), she used to act nervous and weird when I brought up my sexuality (bi), she says shes fine with having a polyamorous relationship but acts really weird when it's brought up, she makes me pinky swear multiple times about stuff ("I'll never leave you", "You and me always", "Just me and you forever", etc, I believe she has OCD), and some more. Most of these things she's gotten at least better with. I feel like it would be unfair for me to break up with her when she's actively trying to change.

Another thing that kind of I think has been bothering me is that she's kind of... Uninteresting? I feel bad even saying that. She can't really have long, intellectual conversations, because she just doesn't know all that much and doesn't have a fire to learn it for herself. To be clear I am not calling her stupid, and I don't believe she is stupid. I just can't have the kinds of discussions that make me really want to be around someone, with her. And that isn't her fault, so I feel guilty for this too.

And of course there are more selfish reasons too, that I feel gross about but they are still considerations. I am disabled, and to be frank, it is very hard to find people who are willing to put up with that. What if she's the only one who will ever be willing to provide me with as much support as she does? Without her, I would be homeless. Without her, I would not really be able to eat. Without her, I feel like I would have essentially noone with whom I'm that close to. I don't bring these things up to her ever, because it is absolutely not fair to her, if she felt she wanted to end things I don't want her to feel like she can't because I would be in danger. But it is still a thing I am scared about, I can't lie. I talk to her about a lot of stuff when I actually have a glimpse of how I'm feeling, or at least I try to (actually speaking is incredibly difficult), but this part of it I keep a secret. I also don't want her thinking I'm only staying with her so I'm not homeless, which isn't true, but it is part of the equation. I am human, humans are fallible, and I'm extra fallible. I kinda fucking suck.

So anyway uh basically,

TL;DR: Breaking up with her would basically be a death sentence, also I have no clue if I even want to do that as I do believe I love her and she is technically amazing, but I also feel incredibly repressed and want to explore my sexuality freely, also I just feel weird and bad about it so often. Oh yeah also I'm a selfish disgusting freak.

Sorry for the rant but I just need to get it out somewhere. All of my friends are shared between us and I don't want somebody blabbing so, internet strangers it is! I can't tell if I'm depressed about the subject matter or if I'm disgusted im even making this post. I might just be an awful boyfriend who sucks ass, too, actually that's probably more likely the case.

OK, I know some of you also loved this story. Have you looked for Alexithymia in the characters? Thoughts?

I've tried searching for one but haven't found one that fits and seems detailed enough. Does anyone use a scale to be more aware of their stress and anxiety?