4/4/23-3/24/24

Watched on: Hulu

IMDB synopsis: "The incredible tale about the fantastical evolution of Bella Baxter, a young woman brought back to life by the brilliant and unorthodox scientist Dr. Godwin Baxter."

I watched this 2023 Best Picture nominee on u/thaworldhaswarpedme's recommendation.

There were multiple red flags going into this one: It's directed by Yorgos Lanthimos, the "brains," if you want to call it that, behind "The Killing of a Sacred Deer," which I disliked. It has the whiff of "woke." And my mom, whose taste in movies I usually share, said it was "awful." Still, Emma Stone won Best Actress for it, so how bad could it be?

So...I'm pretty conflicted on this one. I didn't love it, like u/thaworldhaswarpedme. And I didn't hate it like my mom. I thought it was...mostly watchable, although hardly a revelation. Let's start with some positives:

A very original film, in both premise and execution (the lovely, colorful sets and costumes are really where the film shines the most). The quirky dialogue which was eye-rolling in "Sacred Deer" works in this "fairtytale"-like atmosphere. There's a few truly charming lines (I won't soon be forgetting "I must go and punch that baby!") Emma Stone shines, and while I'm a bit surprised this was considered THE best performance by a female in 2023, she was at least a worthy nominee, based on what I saw (and perhaps she was a worthy winner, I haven't seen enough of her competitors' work). I did like Mark Ruffalo a lot more, however (he definitely earned his Best Supporting Actor nomination, and he was superior to Robert Downey Jr., the ultimate winner). Willem Dafoe is also excellent, rounding out a strong troika.

Now, we get to some negatives: At the end of the day, I'm confused what this movie is about, unless it's just a pure, whimsical Victorian fairtytale. I'm sure there's more to it than that, however: Female empowerment is surely a deliberate theme. But I'm concerned - to put it kindly - that Yorgos is saying - intentionally or unintentionally - that women are MOST happy and empowered when they are...wait for it...working as a prostitute (!). I definitely don't agree with that, but I'll be nice and say it's "food for thought." I wouldn't consider it a "woke" message, in any case; just the usual Hollywood inversion-of-values that's been going on for decades. Not great, but not a dealbreaker for me. Oh, another negative: The film is too long and would have benefited from leaving at least 20 minutes on the cutting-room floor.

Bottom line: A weird, original movie and I appreciate that. A better third act could have been the missing link - perhaps if Stone herself became a happy professor and/or mother - something that would have made it clearer THIS is what women should aspire to, not lots of sex with strangers.

Rating: 6.1 / 10

4/4/23-3/24/24

Watched on: Hulu

IMDB synopsis: "A woman is suspected of murder after her husband's death; their half-blind son faces a moral dilemma as the main witness."

I'm a true crime buff so when a murder mystery won Best Original Screenplay at the 2023 Oscars I was definitely intrigued. Unfortunately, this film was flawed and a chore to get through. The biggest problems were unforced errors - it's way too long (two and half hours), the pacing is really bad in parts, I never really felt invested in the characters, and there was no real "twist" or anything that made me go "Ohhh, I didn't expect that." The best part of the film is probably the most controversial: the ending (which I won't spoil, although if you're thinking "Ohhhh so there WAS a twist, TMS," no that's not what I'm referring to). Also, I think it's pretty laughable this film won Best Original Screenplay since they basically ripped off the Michael Peterson case (but since I love that case, from a true-crime standpoint), I won't hold it against the filmmakers too much).

Bottom line: For a true crime buff like me, it's hard to make a murder mystery that I would consider to be a snoozer. But this film "succeeded." True crime buffs can look elsewhere.

Rating: 5.5 / 10

Challenge started about 8 months ago.

Date watched March 25, 2024

I saw this on Apple TV+.

I actually started watching another Sandra Bullock rom com but it was so stupid that I lasted less than 3 minutes. I just wanted a movie close to 90 minutes that I didn’t need to pay attention to, that was this. Sandra Bullock is a Canadian that works for a publishing company in NYC but she is Canadian and screwed up her immigration paperwork and has to leave the US. Unless she can commit immigration fraud by marrying her assistant, Ryan Reynolds.

The rom part was completely implausible the com part wasn’t funny. I’ll give this one 1.25 stars as the film I quit watching after 3 minutes would have been 1 star and at least I finished this one. Just not a good film and no body should watch it.

Free Guy (2021) [Ed: The submission title is incorrect.]

Language: English

Date started: October 17, 2023

Date watched: February 21, 2024

Directed by: Shawn Levy

Written by: Zak Penn, Matt Lieberman

Only two writers on this? I would expect at least five given the "let's just come up with a bunch of ideas for a movie and write a script" approach this seems to have. Every bland pop culture needle drop you can imagine related to online gaming is here.

The only real funny moment for me was an offhand comment by Guy: "It's a henley," only because my wife likes to buy shirts for me and I have recently become more accepting of the particulars of the henley collar. Otherwise this is just so much derivative nonsense that goes on seemingly for hours and hours.

When Antwan goes into the server room with an axe, I am sure 1/4 of the audience was silently screaming: "That isn't how this stuff works!" But maybe this was actually deliberate? Like: "Ha ha you are a bunch of nerds, we got this wrong on purpose so get mad." But then why be so directly hostile to the audience? I should probably apply Hanlon's razor here.

Rating this any lower would be a waste of effort. It is not worth dwelling on.

Rating: 4 / 10

Free Guy (2021)

(Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.)

Haywire (2011)

Language: English

Date started: October 17, 2023

Date watched: February 20, 2024

Directed by: Steven Soderbergh

Written by: Lem Dobbs

This feels like Soderbergh's non-canonical contribution to the Mission: Impossible franchise, replacing Tom Cruise with a great physical performance by Gina Carano.

This was surprisingly good. A solid, big name cast who are there to look good while getting beat up. What really sells me is that with the female action protagonist, you really sense that she has to do a lot more work in a fight - we can see that she is strong and tough, but mass and muscle density are really working against her a lot of the time.

So much yellow, and not very natural. That's okay, though, some scenes are color coded to distinguish the present from a flashback. There is a great shot that peeks out at our heroine on a rooftop through a hole in a metal roof, later we get to see the roof (with the hole) from another angle, what a great detail, and it builds on the existing paranoia of the story.

Rating: 9 / 10

Haywire (2011)

08/01/2023 - 03/22/2024

Watched on: Blu-Ray

Total reviewed: 534

IMDb

Synopsis: After his people are slaughtered by a snake-worshipping cult, a young man who grows up in slavery embarks on a journey to seek retribution.

Considered Arnold Schwarzenegger's big break into Hollywood, this epic sword-and-sorcery saga is a sweeping fantasy tale about one of comics fiercest warriors. The tale plays out like an old Dragon Quest game where the hero bands together with a wizard, a thief, and a warrior and adventure across the land in search of riches, romance and revenge.

One of this film's strongest aspects is the visuals, be it the grand sets, the marvelous wardrobe or the beautiful cinematography. Not only is it super easy on the eyes but on the ears, as well. Basil Poledouris' score is nothing short of triumphant. A bevy of practical effects are employed that are mostly successful (big fucking snake was fantastic!) save some ill-timed blood bags. The acting is decent and on par with Arnie's own performance but the actors can only carry dialogue like "I want to breathe my last breath into your mouth" so far. Hell, even the most quoted line of the film about crushing your enemies was not nearly as impactful as I'd anticipated before I heard Schwarzenegger utter it. The fight choreography was a little lazy by today's standards and a bit sloppy by any standard at all. Many blows and strikes are clearly not connecting and at least a couple scenes you could see visible hesitation when people hadn't quite reached their mark. But this film obviously set some standards for what would become a genre of films that definitely had it's heyday in the decade that would follow.

The brightest spot here is the incomparable James Earl Jones who lends a measure of gravitas to the film it definitely needed as the big bad and I knew I was in for a treat when he took his helmet off and displayed that outrageous fucking 80's hairband mop. He steals every scene and commands the attention of the viewer at every turn.

Not a bad adventure film by any means. Definitely have to check out Destroyer when i get the opportunity.

6.5/10

The Challenge: 01/01/24 - 12/31/2024 - I'm on a David Fincher kick right now, I've decided to try to finish his entire catalog. I only have three of eleven left.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - Watched 03/12 - Directed by David Fincher

My Tagline: Timeline: Old man baby > Hottest man in the world > Old man baby

Synopsis: Born under unusual circumstances, Benjamin Button springs into being as an elderly man in a New Orleans nursing home and ages in reverse. Twelve years after his birth, he meets Daisy, a child who flits in and out of his life as she grows up to be a dancer. Though he has all sorts of unusual adventures over the course of his life, it is his relationship with Daisy, and the hope that they will come together at the right time, that drives Benjamin forward.

Thoughts: This films feels way different than all of Fincher's previous works. It honestly feels like he was dared to make a "Forrest Gump" style movie to see if he could win the Best Picture Oscar. To be fair, this was predicted to win before last minute hype for Slumdog Millionaire took over the conversations. It deserved to be nominated, it is an amazing looking film. You are definitely transported into this New Orlean's world. The music, the visuals, the make-up is all top-notch, I am just not a huge fan of the story. It's a long story, I remember that was the joke when this film came out that it was almost three hours long. It would have fit right in with this year's Oscar nominees. I will say it feels long, but not unbearably long, there are plenty of fun side character throughout the film. This is a unique film, the aging mechanic is now famous, and it's a fun little hook to this movie. I would give this movie a try, I could see this being someone's favorite film.

Rating: 3.5/5

I rank every movie I watch throughout the year; you can see the full rankings on my Letterboxd including other ranking lists. This will be near the back of my future David Fincher rankings but that is still mid tier in my overall movie rankings.

HeyImAJoe's 2023 Top and Bottom of 2024

1. Saltburn.......................96. The Other Zoey
2. Dune: Part Two...........97. Greenberg
3. Annie Hall....................98. Re-education Molly Singer
4. Erin Brockovich...........99. I Think I Love My Wife
5. Encanto.......................100. Single Moms Club

HeyImAJoe's Full 2024 Rankings

Challenge started about 8 months ago.

Date watched 03/24/2024

I saw this on Netflix.

3.25 stars out of 4 stars. Will Smith was so good in this that I forgot what a repulsive person he is. I think it helps that that the role he played wasn’t a wise cracking kind of guy.

This is the story of mostly Venus Williams but also Serena Williams, and of course their father who had a plan for their complete tennis career. It’s one of these ‘Based on a True Story “ films so who knows what the truth is. The sisters come off looking like saints while King Richard comes off as kookie but possibly right.

It’s over 90 minutes but the story is good enough , and the film is so well made , that it holds the interest. No CGI.

I have Apple TV+ and this month they have a bunch of Will Smith movies and my guess is that their value dropped so much that streaming service are picking them up.

In conclusion, if you’re not so disgusted with Will Smith I recommend this movie.

Coming Home (1978)

Language: English

Date started: October 17, 2023

Date watched: February 11, 2024

Directed by: Hal Ashby

My survey of Jon Voight's career continues.

I bet Voight shows up 15 minutes early for call time, every single day. And he still does, even when exiled to Bob Clark productions; I don't know if he will be returning for the third National Treasure installment, but I hope so.

Bob and Sally are married. Bob is a military officer on his way to Vietnam. Luke is an injured soldier who has just returned from Vietnam. Sally volunteers at a veterans hospital, where she meets Luke, and things go from there.

Both Voight and Jane Fonda got Oscars for this, I haven't done a full survey of 1978 but this was probably the correct decision. In the Top 10 of Completely Appropriate Sex Scenes of All Time.

I love those long telephoto shots. The ones where you set the camera like 50 yards away from the actors, you zoom in, the depth of field goes absolutely crazy and everything is flat. I would ask why no one does that anymore but it is probably a technical issue, they just don't make those lenses anymore or audiences get upset when anything is blurry or some other reason.

Rating: 8 / 10

Coming Home (1978)

Time Freak (2018)

Language: English

Date started: October 17, 2023

Date watched: February 10, 2024

Written and directed by: Andrew Bowler

It is a good thing I logged this on Letterboxd or I would have forgotten it entirely. This is a very light time travel romance story, a feature length version of an Oscar nominated short film. Gen X director Bowler really put some thought and effort into his feature debut, only now he seems to have fallen off the face of the planet.

These are characters living in a cultural void, they don't have any interests or connections outside of the film. Sophie Martin's character has some really annoying traits which we don't get to explore. I am going to say this is a Faustian story - man sells his soul to a time machine - but the script doesn't seem to be aware of Faust's fate. Too heavy for a light comedy, I suppose.

Just when this gets interesting - girlfriend meets the time machine - the whole thing is over. I would like to elide that second act and do something more with the time travel. Can you imagine what a dedicated couple could accomplish with such a device? Now that I think about it, that was the plot of Back to the Future: Part 2, but even there they put the girlfriend in the background and made an unrelated story.

Rating: 6 / 10

Time Freak (2018)

The Challenge: 01/01/24 - 12/31/2024 - I've been recommended this film for years, finally sat down and watched it.

Thank You For Smoking - Watched 03/12 - Directed by Jason Reitman

My Tagline: An early ought's comedy that still holds up.

Synopsis: Nick Naylor is a charismatic spin-doctor for Big Tobacco who’ll fight to protect America’s right to smoke – even if it kills him – while still remaining a role model for his 12-year old son. When he incurs the wrath of a senator bent on snuffing out cigarettes, Nick’s powers of “filtering the truth” will be put to the test.

Thoughts: This is a smart comedy. The amount of satire is incredibly high and still holds up today. I honestly wish I watched this one earlier in my life, I could have seen my teen self watching it over and over again. I'm not surprised I enjoyed this film, This is written and directed by Jason Reitman, his debut film. After this he would go on and write Oscar nominated films like Juno and Up in the Air. If you are looking for a witty comedy, look no further and watch Thank you for Smoking.

Rating: 4/5

I rank every movie I watch throughout the year; you can see the full rankings on my Letterboxd including other ranking lists, this one is a top 10, not a top 5.

HeyImAJoe's 2023 Top and Bottom of 2024

1. Saltburn.......................96. The Other Zoey
2. Dune: Part Two...........97. Greenberg
3. Annie Hall....................98. Re-education Molly Singer
4. Erin Brockovich...........99. I Think I Love My Wife
5. Encanto.......................100. Single Moms Club

HeyImAJoe's Full Rankings

Challenge started about 8 months ago.

Date watched 03/22/2024

I saw this on Netflix.

I’ll give this 2.5 stars. It’s a very well made movie but here’s the first scene, Maverick riding his motorcycle without a helmet, Maverick blowing through the base security, Maverick pulling up on his motorcycle right next to what I imagine would be a 1 billion dollar experimental aircraft. I just watched the movie today but a while back I watched a video from Legal Eagle on YouTube that had a military lawyer on it and went through all the infractions and breaking of regulations in the film and I know that it’s just a stupid film but it does color my opinion of it. Oh, and Maverick destroyed that at least a 1 billion dollar experimental aircraft but the next day it’s completely forgotten.

The story is simple. Maverick is called back to Miramar to train a group of pilots for a mission behind the lines of some unnamed foreign place to destroy some nuclear place that is soon to come on line. A bunch of scenes are homages to the original film, too many I think. And before it starts you know how it ends. Not only that, you know how it gets to the ending.

Overall this is just a big stupid movie with tons of CGI that avoids being jingoistic by never naming the adversary. I just saw on this subreddit a review of a new Roadhouse movie. The original Roadhouse and the original Top Gun I always thought would make a good double feature as they are both over the top goofy fun. But this film lacks the original ones goofy fun and thinks it can make up for it just by recreating memories of that first film. I just changed my mind, 2 stars of 4 and I lightly recommend than no one see this film ever, for any reason.

Date started: 8/13/2023

Date watched: 3/21/2024

Review

This movie is a goddamn masterpiece.

Fun as HELL from start to finish, very funny, excellent fighting. Gyllenhaal! So ripped! So funny and charming! Conor McGregor: holy fucking SHIT what a premiere! Those purple pants give me LIFE!

Billy Magnussen is perfection as a little sniveling Eldest Boy who's not equipped to >!hold together his father's drug empire!<. Arturo Castro is a great pick for an early NoHo Hank-type role.

The bar, the music, the boats? I can't get enough. >!The genre talk from the girl at the bookstore?!< I mean, this movie was made for me.

It's not the Perfect Platonic Ideal of a Film that the 1989 original is and doesn't have any lines as memorable as "I fucked guys like you in prison" (and sadly >!no throat-tearing-out!<) (but it does have >!crocodiles eating people!!<), but this will be a regular rewatch for me.

4.5 out of 5 stars

The Challenge: 01/01/24 - 12/31/2024 - Rom-Com king strikes again.

The Other Zoey - Watched 03/11 - Directed by Sara Zandieh

My Tagline: A different forgettable Rom-Com

Synopsis: Highly intelligent computer major Zoey Miller is uninterested in romantic love, but her life is turned upside down when Zack, the school’s soccer star, gets amnesia and mistakes Zoey for his girlfriend.

Thoughts: This is just another cookie cutter Rom-Com. Too many mediocre movies follow the same plot line. The protagonist keeps a secret from the person they are falling in love with. They let it go way too far, farther than any reasonable person would. The secret is revealed, the lover breaks up with the protagonist. The protagonist self-reflects and learns a life lesson and asks the lover to forgive them. The lover does, thy kiss, the end. I just wrote half of the bad rom-coms that have ever been or will ever come out. Some movies can get over this staleness with better jokes, better character development, better acting but not this film. Skip this one, it is not special, I will most likely forget about it.

Rating: 1.5/5

I rank every movie I watch throughout the year; you can see the full rankings on my Letterboxd including other ranking lists. This one is making my bottom. It won't stay for long but it won the honor nonetheless.

HeyImAJoe's 2023 Top and Bottom of 2024

1. Saltburn.......................96. The Other Zoey
2. Dune: Part Two...........97. Greenberg
3. Annie Hall....................98. Re-education Molly Singer
4. Erin Brockovich...........99. I Think I Love My Wife
5. Encanto.......................100. Single Moms Club

HeyImAJoe's Letterboxd

4/4/23-3/18/24

Watched on: Peacock

IMDB synopsis: "Thirteen-year-old fledgling writer Briony Tallis irrevocably changes the course of several lives when she accuses her older sister's lover of a crime he did not commit."

This Oscar-bait period piece was a big deal when it came out during the '07 awards season. Despite strong reviews, I never felt jazzed to see it because I always felt the premise was implausible (how could a man be convicted of a rape if his "victim" says he didn't do it)?

Of course, after seeing the movie, I realize that my recollection of the premise was false (it wasn't Keira Knightley's character who was raped, it was another member of her family). In any case, it doesn't matter. This movie is...a chore to get through.

I really thought this movie would center on two things: a trial of the accused, played by James McAvoy, that showcases...uh...something...I guess how the 1930's British legal system discriminated against the working class...Whatever...And then...ummm...sort of "atonement (!)."

But the "atonement" at the end of the film is pretty lame IMO (or maybe I should rephrase that - it's executed in an extremely-lame way). And just as bad is the process to get there - it's such a weird movie; a majority of the film has nothing to do with 1) the crime or 2) the "atonement." It's about McAvoy's experiences as a World War II soldier. And the experiences of Knightley and her sister as nurses during the war. Seriously, that's more than half the movie and it's beyond pointless unless you're a simp to movies that "look good" (in this case, the costumes and settings of War War II-era Britain and the French battlefield).

Such a clumsy, unfocused movie. But hey, it "looks good!"

Rating: 4.4 / 10

4/4/23-3/18/24

Watched on: Peacock

IMDB synopsis: "A cranky history teacher at a prep school is forced to remain on campus over the holidays with a grieving cook and a troubled student who has no place to go."

This 2023 Best Picture nominee was pretty disappointing. The plot is pretty dull. Not a lot happens. Paul Giamatti was pretty solid, as always, but his character wasn't very compelling. Even less compelling are his sidekicks, the other "holdovers": a high student student and a cafeteria worker (tangent: how did Da'Vine Joy Randolph, who played the cafeteria worker, win "Best Supporting Actress" just for having a constant "resting bitch face?" Pitiful choice). The last 15 minutes are the best part of the film but it doesn't redeem the first two hours. I guess I liked the 70's-era film quality (or whatever you call it); it was a creative choice that made the movie feel more "real." But, look, bottom line: This is not a new "Christmas classic," as some people online phrased it. This is a pretty forgettable "wannabe dramedy" (hey, I coined a new phrase!) that I wouldn't recommend to anyone.

Rating: 5.2 / 10

Date started: 1/1/2024

Date watched: 3/21/2024

Every God’s Not Dead movie offers a peek into the psychology of the evangelical film studio formerly known as Pure Flix at the moment it was made. The first one invents a story about a Christian student being persecuted for his beliefs at a university to channel American evangelical anxieties about a changing country. In 2, the persecution complex intensifies, and it even tacitly endorses resistance to the state. 3 was made when evangelicals had just won a big political victory. So 3 had a very different tone, conciliatory and gracious, no longer on the defensive. It even has an atheist character who isn’t a total dick and doesn’t get magically converted by the end. Imagine that! So, does 4 fit into this theory?

Well, 4 (technically called God’s Not Dead: We the People) was filmed in late 2020, during the pandemic. To be fair, I don’t think any group in America was in a particularly cheerful mood during that time. But needless to say, the persecution complex is back in full force. And this time, it’s about…homeschooling?

Yeah. In this film, a group of Christian parents are homeschooling their children, but Bible study time gets interrupted by an evil government inspector who barges in and wants to shut it all down. So Reverend David A.R. White, the only continuous character from all 4 movies, decides to take his group of parents to Washington to testify against new legislation that’s going to ban homeschooling. Because yeah, that’s…totally a thing that’s happening. Can’t wave a stick around these days without hitting somebody that wants to ban homeschooling.

Also, there are a couple other subplots going on. One of the parents has a teen son who has a crush on a girl who’s selling him her car, and her mom is Judge Jeanine from Fox News. Also, the Muslim girl from the first movie who was disowned by her family for accepting Jesus into her heart is back, and she has daddy issues now. And this random little homeschooled boy has mommy issues, which we focus on for some reason.

Most of the latter half of the movie involves Pastor Dave and his gaggle of Concerned Parents testifying before Congress. The whole thing is such a cluster of WTF that it makes real congressional hearings seem sane, and that’s saying something. There is one congressman who is down with Jesus and willing to help them out, basically a fictionalized version of Tim Scott. But the rest of them are constantly attacking religion as “anti-rational” and “anti-science” and calling the Bible sexist. Yeah…that’s totally how American politicians talk. So that’s how the whole thing unfolds. The politicians give out strawman statements which are basically just setting up the righteous parents to argue back and always be correct. And even then, their rebuttals are bizarre. They go off on tangents about Thanksgiving and astronauts taking communion on the Moon, and we know it’s supposed to be convincing because orchestral music is swelling in the background.

As per usual with these movies, it feels like a parallel universe. Going off this movie alone, you’d think that Christians in modern America are like Jews in 1930s Germany. The characters are all puppets: good Christians who spout buzzwords you’re supposed to agree with, or bad guys who spout buzzwords to make you hate them. All the dialogue is stilted and expository, because it’s written to push an agenda, not to tell a story. And this time around, it seems more concerned with politics than religion. It literally opens with a speech by Reagan about freedom, there’s a similar scene with the Gettysburg Address, and the characters are constantly talking about freedom and liberty. This one is less concerned with whether or not God is dead, and more concerned with homeschooling and the bogeymen who supposedly want to ban it. And there is plenty of anti-public school sentiment as well. But it’s never enough for these movies to say they don’t want public schools to indoctrinate children with secular progressive dogma. They have to go a step further and say they want public schools to indoctrinate children with their Christian dogma instead, and this movie makes no secret of that.

My problem with this movie isn’t that it’s Christian. There are plenty of good Christian movies out there. The problem is that it distorts reality for the purpose of propaganda. Also, in comparison to the other 3, this one is probably the most boring. Not much really happens, and there are only so many long speeches about the virtues of homeschooling I can take. That being said, these movies are a guilty pleasure of mine. I can’t help but watch them with fascination and horror. Apparently there’s a 5th one set to come out this year. God help us all.

2/10

Challenge started about 8 months ago

Date watched 03/21/2024

I saw this on Netflix.

This is a Netflix movie that I heard the review on Film Week a public radio station show from LA that reviews movies coming out this week. It didn’t get a good review but it wasn’t a horrible review either. I started watching The Wolf of Wall Street all I could think is that it’s a three hour movie that I probably had to pay attention to so I didn’t miss important plot points. I lasted about 10 minutes of that film, then took a nap and upon waking looked for a 90 minute film that would require no thinking. Thus, I watched Irish Wish.

Lindsay Lohan stars as a book editor that just helped a handsome British author write a best selling book and is smitten by him. Lindsay however has a lovely friend who the author falls for and six months later they are going to Ireland for that wedding. In Ireland they have an outing in the countryside and Lindsay, with the help of a ghostly Saint, makes a wish that it was she that was marrying the author. Thus, in the spirit of time travel movies a new reality is brought forth along with the plot of this movie.

Should all movies be rated on the same scale? Should this completely predictable rom com be rated on the same scale as Oppenheimer? This isn’t really a good movie but it really is just trying to be enjoyable mindless entertainment and it achieves that goal. I put down my iPad to pay attention to the screen a couple times while watching this. I appreciate the 90 minute run time. Even though from early on I knew exactly how it would end I felt a low level stress during the alternate reality section of the movie. I cared what was happening. Thus I will give this 2.5 stars out of 4 and say that I enjoyed it for what it was, mindless fluff. However, I will not recommend it unless run time is a major factor in your movie choices and you’re not put off by fluffy rom coms.

Imdb

Watched 8/28/23 Challenge started 5/18/23

I know, I know... I'm a John Candy fan and I've never seen Uncle Buck. Well, now I have! And I was missing a really good movie.

John Candy as Uncle Buck is as endearing as a Cocker Spaniel, but a really poorly trained, Ill tempered one mind you. Seriously though this guy was just so charismatic, he's just a joy to watch.

The kids are all great here, particularly the moody teenager Tia played by Jean Louisa Kelly. Her interactions with Uncle Buck and particularly Bug, are some of the best moments.

Macaulay Culkin and Gabby Hoffman are really great here too. They were both so talented at such a young age.

This film has plenty of humor and lots of the feels. The character growth in this film is substantial, and I think that's really the point.

Yes the film is dated, but it's nostalgic for me.

Buck Russell is a classic character for a reason.

I'll give Uncle Buck a 4 out of 5.

I'm a sap for this kind of thing.

Imdb

I always find the best kids films start with a 'wiggle it out' song in the theaters... I always find the worst ones do too...

Welcome to the world of Blippi! And if you're not familiar with Blippi, well you probably don't have a kid growing up right now watching streaming services... all the time! Or perhaps you're a Ludite, one of those 'responsible' parents that can actually limit their child's screen time properly... Yeah, I'm totally one of 'those' parents...

All kidding aside, Blippi is a poor man's Pee Wee, with no where near the charm, no where near the humor and no where near the budget and special effects. (Yeah, this looks like a pretty shoe string budget.)

This movie invents a whole new level of torture. The whole time there is a timer counting down, reminding you of how much longer they're going to torture you with these antics. I can feel my soul draining.

It's really funny too because there are a couple times where they could've and probably probably should've gone for another take, but these guys just flub stuff and roll with it. It's called acting dammit!

Anyways, if you're into Blippi, you'll love this! It's just a long episode really, with some cg dinosaurs.

If you're not a Blippi believer, do not watch this.

A 1.5 out of 5.

My daughter loved this by the way.

Imdb

Watched 8/26/23 Challenge started 5/18/23

I guess this was about as low brow, offensive and mediocre as I expected. I mean I haven't exactly been rushing out to watch this one since it came and I'm glad I didn't.

This reminded me I'm not a huge fan Seth Mcfarlen's comedy. It's alright at best.

Here are some of the highlights, brief and out of context: Flash Gordon.

This is decently forgettable.

A 2 out of 5.

Imdb

Watched 8/25/23 Challenge started 5/18/23

Number 9. Number 9. Number 9.

This is like the Truman show, only with more child abuse and less good...

I'll go ahead and say right off the top that this is going to contain spolers. I won't spoil too many plot points, though there really are only a couple in the whole film... but I will defintiely spoil things about the character and feeling...

Speaking of feeling, this does seem to be a film that wants to be 'felt' rather than understood. However, this story is utterly bleak, almost comically so, and there are so many things that make so little sense that it comes across as wildly absurd. (And not in the best ways.) This wouldn't be so bad if it didn't take so long to get to an interesting place, and if it went places I felt were less predictable. (It really likes foreshadowing.)

Right from the get go this film asserts itself as having an outside the box kind of feel. (Baby birds are so freaky looking, kind of like hairless cats...) It's clearly not your typical thriller.

It's colorful. Picturesque. Made to look perfect. It has a vibrant tone. Upbeat music. This is contrasted with the somber, psychological, surreal, and dark nature of the characters and their emotions. In this duality is the film's most appealing feature. Contrast.

Insecurity v. Stability. Love v. Hate. Perfection v. Hellscape. Pleasure v. Pain. Life v. Death. Human v. Non-human?

The cinematography, and direction are solid. Shot by shot this comes across as an appealing film.

However, the writing and the acting isn't as appealing.

It's too bad, too, because it really only has 3 characters.

I'm really not a fan of Jesse Eisenberg. I don't think I've ever enjoyed him in a role. (I'm sorry if you're reading this Jesse, I'm sure you're a nice dude.) I'll give him some benefit of the doubt though, I guess, and say, "maybe he's being asked to portray a hollow character?" (Bad writing?) Either way, he's not "hard" enough in the role, and I want someone more agressive, assertive, bull-headed. Someone that feels tougher, more exaggerated in a direction. I mean he spends most of the film digging a hole, and not once in the film am I convinced that Jesse Eisenberg does infact know how to dig a hole... humorously, to me at least, the best part of his performance is when he's dying... he finally slows down, takes some pasuses... there are some breathy, passionate moments for lingering and relateable emotions... and then... he's dead.

The child actor, Senan Jennings, does a fantastic job at being stark, stoic, completely creepy and off the fucking wall. He sure does take a beating and swear alot though! Also, I'm not sure this kid knows how to human. (Did they hire an alien/ robot?)

Imogen Poots on the other hand is completely fantastic. The emotional and psychological depths she goes to are genuine, believable. She propels this film forward and becomes the reason to watch.... the saving grace... I mean besides the crazy freaky demon kid antics... did he just croak like a frog?

There's totally an allegory or parable here. Something about being trapped by the desires to have a new home, a family, an important job, how we're destined in the end to be consumed by our addictions and desires. (Our children? Other people's children?!) We're lost in the quest for perfection... I mean, maybe we're all just guppies in a fish bowl being jeered at and mocked by strange lizard people that live under the sidewalks and force us to raise their little lizard people babies... Crazier things have happened, am I right?!

Anyways, this film is alright, and I'd put it just slightly above the ok mark. It's defintiely not a must watch though I could see some people really getting into it... if they're part lizard people probably... a 2.5 out of 5.

Imdb

Watched 8/19/23 Challenge started 5/18/23

Awe yeah, this is going to be fun and it starts off pretty quick. Its giving me Flatliners vibes and I'm loving it.

This is a really unique horror film, with a simple story and premise, but really weighty, intense consequences.

The hand bust thing is ominous to begin with, but coupled with the other aspects of connecting with the dead? Yeah, you can just get on out of here.

There's a great foreboding and each use of the hand is more and more like a drug just pulling you and the main character in deeper. It's really captivating, entrancing, terrifying.

Overall the writing does a bit to subvert expectations, but it's not really trying to reinvent the genre. It doesn't necessarily hit on all notes all the time, and maybe goes on a bit long, but this ultimately manages to be a really entertaining horror flick.

A 3.5 out of 5. I welcome you in. (Is that the correct quote? I forget.)

Imdb

Watched 8.1.23 Challenge started 5.18.23

Oh yeah duderinos, (and Dudetterinos?) It's time to get in the sewers, rock that teen angst and wear your most radical duds as we freak out to some new ninja turtles!

Right out the gate, the art style is top tier. This is akin to the new Miles Morales Spidey flicks art style, but it's doing it's own thing. And I mean this in a very positive way. I've heard they were trying to go for an 'as if drawn by a teen' vibe, and I think it comes off really well. It's artistic, it's creative and most importantly it's fun.

The voice acting is also done by teenagers this time and it works really well. The Turtles come across as actual teenagers! (For once.) Jackie Chan is here as is Paul Rudd. (I liked both of them a good deal.) And of course Ice Cube. Really the whole cast is fairly good here, and I enjoyed the performances as a whole. This is a stellar cast though.

I'm glad this is a movie I can share with my daughter. It really is fun for multiple generations. It's allowed us to share something that's always been special to me and I'm glad she's digging it too. Cowabunga!

I've heard some complaints about the origin story on this. I think it's great how the story of the Turtles can be told in so many different ways and it can continue to be entertaining. (Even if Splinter's training regimen may be a bit suspect here... I'll give it a pass.)

All in all I really liked this. A 4 out of 5.

Go ninja, go ninja, go!

08/01/2023 - 03/17/2024

Total reviewed: 533

Watched on: Hulu

IMDb

Synopsis: A woman revived by a mad scientist misadventures around the globe in a quest for herself.

I. Fucking. Loved it. Goddamn, what a fantastic movie! It's like Frankenstein meets Forest Gump. Original, strange, alluring, surprising; this movie had me from beginning to end. The cast was phenomenal with surprising choices around every bend from the makeup to the wardrobe to the script and everything in between.The scenery was absolutely breathtaking throughout the film with a color palette that, once introduced, continually dazzled. Dozens of scenes could have been a painting unto themselves. The story is wonderfully outlandish and is coupled with a dark humor that serves to further elevate the film. Just a wonderful blending of the hilarious and horrific. Apparently, a lot of people didn't like this film but I think it's just what a good film ought to be.

Its atmosphere is immediately engrossing as some sort of steampunk mirror-world of 19th century Victorian England. Contraptions are seen throughout that are odd twinners to real-world inventions such as the impressive cable cars and bizarre hot-air balloons that look remarkably different yet functionally similar. The landscapes are stunningly impressive and leap off the screen, bewitching the viewer. I must have audibly uttered 'whoa' at least half a dozen times. I mean this movie is fucking gorgeous.

The acting is nothing less than top-notch by all players involved save Jerrod Carmichael who just did not seem to be playing on the same level as his peers. Emma Stone offers a performance that is shockingly different from anything we've seen from her heretofore. That Oscar was unarguably an earned accolade as she brings to life the indefatigable Bella . Willem Dafoe brings his characteristic panache to the role of the tortured genius that is the unorthodox scientist, Godwin Baxter and I can't imagine anyone could have done it better. Mark Ruffalo is to be savored in his role as the sleazy lawyer who becomes entranced by the fetching and fearless Bella Baxter. I've never seen him quite like this and his feculance was an absolute pleasure to behold. Beyond this powerhouse trio is a collection of personalities running the gamut from the clever and charismatic to the dreary and dastardly and all points betwixt the two. These help to fill out the film with an interesting range of characters that complement the main cast in ways that are sure to garner curious reactions across the spectrum. You'll be amused, disgusted, enchanted, repelled, but most importantly...entertained.

And if I could just mention the score for a moment! It is truly a player in the film all by itself. Unsettling and weird, manifested at times as just a collection of sounds and then melting into a haunting melody the next. I'm a little shocked it didn't take an award as well.

I knew absolutely nothing about this film save its Oscar contention and I'm glad I could manage that feat because to go in blind was a precursor to maintaining the magic of the film. Each twist in the story came untelegraphed and I never quite knew where the fuck I was headed next. Just superb.

9/10

Started March 2024 Watched March 2024 on a plane ride on Monday the 18th

Synopsis: A reunion between two estranged sisters gets cut short by an attack from the deadites, thrusting them into a gruesome battle for survival as they face the most nightmarish version of family imaginable.

Minor spoilers ahead!

Hi kids! Do you like violence? You probably do if you’re watching the newest installment of Evil Dead Franchise. This one ticks all the Evil Dead boxes with mean-spirited glee. Gruesome practical effects, solid performances (Alyssa Sutherland as Ellie steals every scene), over the top gore to the point of absurdity, and a couple of well timed bits of humor to break it all up. Add a creepy clash with a big bad at the end and you have a solid entry into a beloved horror franchise.

Writer Lee Cronin does a bit better with establishing his characters compared to the 2013 movie. After a fantastically gory prologue, we see estranged sisters Ellie and Beth reunite under some rough circumstances that are made even worse when her son Danny unwittingly unleashes a Kandarian demon on their Los Angeles apartment complex. His older sister Bridgette and younger sister Kassie get caught in the crossfire. What follows is a frantically paced story about a bloody fight for survival where their loved ones themselves are the ones out to harm them.

I would 100 percent recommend avoiding trailers for this one. While the best moments aren’t all in the trailers, I think Ellie’s transformation into a deadite (which was shown in the trailers and movie posters) would have been a lot more impactful, and you get the added bonus of avoiding spoilers on other character’s fates. I would also recommend watching this with a proper sound system. Airline headphones didn’t do this movie justice. I’m definitely planning on watching this one again with a proper headset and ambience. This was a really enjoyable entry into this franchise.

4/5

Note: So… uh… third times the charm? I’ve been suffering from what some call rotten fucking luck when it comes to this challenge. I have tried it twice and have failed twice due to catastrophic life circumstances causing me to stop, but my love of movies and talking about movies keeps me from giving up entirely. Away we go!

Date started: 1/1/2024

Date watched: 3/20/2024

Wish Upon is like if you took The Monkey’s Paw, Final Destination, and Mean Girls, blended them together, and served them in a dirty sock. It’s about a teenage girl whose father likes to go rummaging around in dumpsters, and he gives her an old music box he found in the garbage as a present. Turns out, it’s a box that will grant your wishes, but it’s infested by an ancient Chinese demon who will take the life of someone you know for every wish it grants.

Not only does this girl word her wishes in the weirdest possible way (like wishing for her bully at school to “rot”) but she’s a total idiot. She keeps on wishing for inane crap like becoming the most popular girl at school well after she learns the true nature of the box! And worst of all, it’s PG-13, so all the kills are frustratingly tame, even though a few of them are so ridiculous that I can’t help but laugh.

With the protagonist having a mother who committed suicide (dead parents are as common a trope in modern horror movies as Disney movies), the use of social media, and the haunted object you need to touch to interact with, I was reminded of Talk to Me. Except everything that movie did so well, this one butchers at every turn. You don’t get any feel for the trauma of this character or how it shaped her. And while Talk to Me captures very well how social media-addicted teens would react to a real horror scenario, this one felt more like the “How do you do, fellow kids?” meme. With expressions like “smokin”, “bitch sauce”, and “holy ballsack”, I don’t know if this writer has ever heard a teenager talk.

Well, the characters all make decisions that make no sense, and it leads to a predictable conclusion. There’s even a Marvel-style post-credits scene where they’re baiting a sequel. I’m truly shocked that it didn’t happen, the Wish Upon fandom must be furious. While it is just a generic bad horror movie, I can’t lie that I had a pretty good time watching it. It’s the kind of bad where it’s unintentionally hilarious.

4/10

Challenge started about 8 months ago.

Date watched 03/20/2024

I saw this on Kanopy.

Owen Wilson plays a Bob Ross sort of PBS painting show host that’s the most popular show at the station. He also does very well with the ladies and has relations with most of those at the station. Things are going well until the station brings in a young lady painter in the mold of Owen Wilson but paints more than the same mountain over and over. The story is of how Owen reacts to the new competition in the office.

I’ll give this one 3 stars of 4. It’s only 90 minutes, moves along fine and has some decent gentle humor. There is sadly one bit of CGI but it wasn’t of monsters or anything. I’ll recommend this one as a nice low key movie staring Owen Wilson.

Imdb

Watched 7.30.23 Challenge began 5.18.23

Ok, I have two major complaints about this film about >!Nike!<... There are no shots of Mt. Hood (C'mon how do you make a film in Portland, yes, I know Beaverton, but it's Portland, and not include Mt. Hood?!) Also there's no >!Michael Jordan!<. (How do you make a film about >!Michael Jordan!< and not show >!Michael Jordan?!!<)

Incase you didn't know Air is a movie about >!Nike!< and >!Michael Jordan.!<

I'm being a bit facetious, but seriously there are some choices made in this film, like the above examples, that feel a little off, a little odd, and it breaks the immerssive experience a bit overall. It's not too jarring, but it's noticeable.

Also, there is alot of comedy in this film overall. It's fun, but it can get a bit tired. I get it, the character traits they're funny enough, they're quirky guys! But yeah, Affleck's Phil Knight impersonation can get a little repetitive and a little cyclical. It's not bad, but it's not great.

On the other hand, Matt Damon is great here, I really enjoy watching him perform, and he comes across as genuine and endearing. Viola Davis also has a remarkable performance as the Jordan Matriarch and commands attention every time she's on screen. Terrific performances.

All in all this is about as good as one can expect a branded movie that's "not a commercial" to be. It's fairly tame, it's funny and has moments of the feels.

A 3.5 out of 5.

Imdb

Watched 7.29.23 Challeenge offically started 5.18.23

So, I think I'm offically a Disney Dad. Or an Adult kid or something. I mean, I think I enjoyed Disney World just as much, probably more than my daughter... and this movie is full of the feels for me.

I don't think my daughter was too into it, maybe it was a bit too scary for her taste, either way I liked it.

I thought it was funny, the story was a fun kind of teenagery horror with just enough spice to make it adult approved. This isn't reinventing the genre or anything, but it is a really fun story to go along with the classic ride and the movie had a good vibe and a bit of a nostalgic feel. (Casper vibes anyone?)

Anyways, there's not much to say here, its enjoyable enough and the cast is good. Could use better writing I suppose but whatever. Also, why is this being released in July? A 3 out of 5.