Im at hospital rn cause invega Pray for me pls

need help i was put on invega sustenna for 2month and since my last inject ive lost my focus personality cant think lost of coodination no emotions feeling like a robot lost of memory about self awareness and ist getting worse even i dont take any antipsychotique no more i dont know what to do i need to wait? What i need to do im gonna kil my self pls some one help me

Now I have difficulty moving my body I don't feel incontrol of my body it's like my soul doesn't control it, cause i dont have it anymore, I have lose co-ordination ist a fucking nightmare and everyday it's getting worse I don't take any antipsychotic anymore how its that possible it's been4 month since my last invega shot Im gonna kill my self

Only looking for advice from qualified professionals or people with experience of ECT on this subject matter.

Someone I love had very severe depression and PTSD and was thrown by their family into a 'rehab' center where they were unethically subjected to multiple sessions of ECT. Once they got out, I couldn't recognise them anymore. Their entire personality had changed. This was someone who had so much emotional depth, felt everything so deeply, loved deeply, and always had such a rich mind. Most importantly, they had empathy and the ability to truly care. Now, this person is a hollow shell - completely empty with no emotional depth, no ability to feel empathy or any deep emotions like love and sadness. In their own words, they are unable to form a lasting connection with anyone and don't even want to anymore. They are also unable to physically cry any longer. They're also on a heavy dosage of multiple antidepressants.

Is there any chance that this person can ever go back to being who they were? Has ECT completely and irreversibly wiped out their ability to feel anything deep and meaningful? Or is there hope for them to return to who they once were? I am unable to find much information online, and the effects of this seem far too similar to that of a traditional lobotomy. I just want to know if there's any hope for me to once again meet the person I once knew and loved so much, as they originally were.

Unfortunately, some of the biggest bigotry against those diagnosed with mental health conditions is on the so-called left. (I know NYT is not truly left, but it is considered so by society.)

The NYT has published several articles favoring institutionalization and other coercive "treatment" in the past few months alone.

They portray people diagnosed with schizophrenia as inherently violent and sometimes even racist. They heavily imply people with this diagnosis are murderers waiting to happen.

They cite misleading state hospital bed numbers when private institutionalization has skyrocketed, and we spend more on "mental health" than ever before, including a massive use of coercive measures.

They never once consider that this is actually part of the problem. The answer is always more preemptive violence and collective punishment.

I'm a bit frustrated that the hyper-policing of drug negatives seems to be justified through "disallowing the sharing of medical advice" when they're also usually run by regular folk "mods", not doctors. The idea doesn't seem to be applied evenly, IE people can openly insult drug-effect sufferers, side effect comments are deleted even when proof is linked, etc.

I know "it's reddit", but considering the internet is the only place a lot of people have for navigating drug harms due to suppression of the topic in healthcare, I'm always hoping that this can be a welcoming place for folks having those experiences.

Disclaimer edit: I'm not complaining about the removal of comments like "you will 100% suffer eternally if you take this pill one time", those are obviously whack lol

Can psychosis trigger cognitive decline, loss of focus, personality loss, memory loss, self awareness loss, blank mind or its the meds it's self??

Also I lost the ability to be in my bubble "in my world" and hyper focus on things that passionate me, everything is blank now, it is normal??and will it come back?

I just watched video of me and my brother shit broke my heart I dont remember any past event with my family and dont feel like I have a family since invega shot everything happened so fast feel like I am in a other dimension like a dream, can't believe I'm in this shit. They take away life out of me and I hope I will recover back to the way I was 💔

This is an attempt to step outside the structure and examine its machinations: a tricky maneuver while it's in the process of grinding you into mush. Still a necessary act, in my experience, and a disobedient one in a mental health paradigm that insists on its superfluity.

I am not claiming this is any kind of universal exposition. We're not all machines experiencing the same malfunction, but unique beings with particular lives. I can only speak to my own.

With that, my experience is that obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors are a form of self-harm. I'm sorry if that's offensive to those who self-harm in a way that leaves scars on skin, but I can't say it any other way. And so find, predictably, the pattern is fueled by the same sorts of distress.

I should mention that there is an enormous component of physical illness to my own story, and I wish research into endocrine function and sleep quality replaced brain scans and genetic testing the world over. But I put that aside here to try to pinpoint the exact moment my mind declares war on herself.

Everything exists on myriad levels, and the habit of turning feelings against myself (hello autoimmune disease) was established long ago.

So here is what drives that fatal first doubt, as I've come to understand it.

1. Anger at other people.

Having no outlet for it. Being afraid of it. Knowing no one wants to receive it. Being certain, after all, it is often dangerous to express: I will become unemployable and unhouseable if I say things that certainly fucking warrant being said.

And, of course, knowing that as a woman it will only be classified as further evidence of my manifest insanity.

2. Anger at myself.

3. Hurt and trauma.

Here I must credit several people in an askreddit thread who bravely admitted to the obsessive fear of sexually abusing children after being victims themselves. One woman nearly gave her child up for adoption, the fear was so great.

This prompted me to begin examining the themes of my obsessions more literally. Asking myself:

Are there ways you feel someone ran you over and just kept driving?

Are there ways you feel another person poisoned you and didn't even appear to notice?

Are there ways you feel permanently harmed by another's abject negligence?

Yes, yes, yes.

This relates to anger while also opening the whole question of how we respond to trauma. Why do we so easily carry shame for others' behavior? Why do we hurt ourselves for having been hurt? Why do we blame ourselves, fear ourselves, turn against ourselves?

I don't have answers to those questions but it's helped me to contextualize obsessions. As for some of us there's a definite theme of terror around hurting others in the ways we've been hurt — which we then, ironically, hurt ourselves with endlessly.

4. Distraction.

Obsessions allow me to shift focus from those things that are objectively real and ceaselessly painful. Repetitive actions are also so scintillating to the mind, entirely consuming as you watch for the moment you made a mistake.

(And now we're all going to die! My toilet bowl brush is about to usher in the apocalypse, or didn't you know? Actually, you're all going to die while I live, because I'm only afraid of hurting other people. It is deeply, deeply rational: Don't ask.)

Is this a malformed protective measure? Again, ironically, it only creates more and more pain.

5. Guilt.

Every area of my life that I feel I am failing in — currently all — gets funneled into the obsession/compulsion at hand.

The focus around this pattern is so much on the thoughts and behaviors. It's in the name.

But the thoughts would have no fuel without intense, preexisting emotion. Because the guilt is there first. The guilt is always there first.

(Incidentally, through some particles of drain unplugger that lingered in the bathroom drain and then transferred to my hands, you are all about to die. Sorry to break it to you.)

6. Decision fatigue.

This began with all the decisions related to managing serious illness.

There's some odd emotional crossover from the weightiness of deciding whether to have surgery to that moment of deciding how long to wash my hands. At some point it all started to feel the same.

(Rest assured, though, you are all about to die. Because a used book I ordered arrived with some unidentified green stuff on it.)

7. Total overwhelm.

My nervous system has a backlog of about four years' worth of experiences to processes. Which invariably interferes with the ability to meet thoughts and emotions proportionately.

I'm sure that catching up takes ample support, certain environmental conditions, and at least some energy reserves: which I am unable to conjure. Cue powerlessness.

8. Powerlessness and escapism.

Related to distraction but more encompassing. Wanting to check out of the reality of my daily life, where it seems I cannot fix a single thing no matter how long and hard I try.

In that way, of course, the compulsion offers the reassuring feeling that you are solving a problem in the moment. But then you find there is always a worse fear following, and cascading fears, until you are certain you have done something irrevocably awful that can never be reversed.

So that psychological promise is never actually delivered on. Which it seems the mind, trickily, somehow knew from the start. Yes, mental self-harm: how can we be so adept at hurting ourselves?

9. Powerlessness and the larger world.

And lastly, with that, is a feeling of powerlessness in the face of real contamination, brutality, horror, recklessness, and cruelty in the world at large.

I haven't been able to fix that, either, so let's resume worrying about if the fire extinguisher ever discharged without my notice. Because I think that sounds reasonable.

—

Well, that's the whole gory list. I would love to hear how this works for other people who have also analyzed the nature of this gruesome cycle in their own lives.

(p.s. Seeing as the batteries in both of my flashlights went bad, please do ensure your wills are in order. Because the entire world is now covered in a thin layer of toxic dust.)

(p.s.2. The reason that feels true probably being: It is.)

After being on antipsychotic invega sustenna. I've completely lost my self awareness and my reflexes decreased can't analyze thing, lost my hyperfocus even though it's been 4 months since my last shot everyday its getting worse. It is normal?

After WW II Rockefeller Foundation's enthusiasm for psychiatry had considerably cooled. The exclusive concentration on psychiatry was ended and the Medical Sciences Division was told to look into other fields.

It wasn't just the fact that the Foundation had funded many of the organizations and individuals in Germany responsible for NAZI psychiatric atrocities. https://perlanterna.com/descent-into-hell

The Foundation was concerned that psychiatry refused to provide evidence of a scientific foundation for the subject. Despite millions spent and a 15-year campaign to insert psychiatry into academia and medicine as a valid scientific subject, the Foundation was worried they had been taking part in and promoting a 'social racket.'

"Doesn’t a continued and general refusal to permit or attempt validation of psychotherapeutic methods put everyone concerned, including ourselves, in a position of promoting or carrying on a social racket? How can the charlatans be dealt with if the good men will give no validation but their own individual say sos?”

Chester I Barnard, President of the Rockefeller Foundation. 1948

[Barnard is using 'psychotherapeutic methods' to mean all psychiatric methods rather than only psychotherapy.]

https://perlanterna.com/social-racket

​

https://www.propublica.org/article/idaho-approves-secure-mental-health-facility

Thought some of yall might find this interesting. Article is about forcibly held psych patients in prisons with no alternative currently in place.

Out and safe.

No one cares or cared about that I was threatened with boarding/reform school/boot camp/TTI/mental hospitals/jail/prison to be brainwashed into a "stupid robot with no emotions" so they say that I'm cured and controlled and not be different!

They won't regret it they'll be happy that I'm a robot and not the real person that I actually am. They burn/break/sell my stuff so I can't break free and escape from them. Don't even think mom would know or care about it. They force me tho get married (I don't want marriage at all!)

This might last for years until A. I break free or B. I die. Maybe they'll come to their senses and see unhappy I am... no wait they WON'T! Cause almost all of them are Narcissists/Abusers.

Either a robot or someone who goes into crime. Neither are good. Afterwards they’re (my ex family) will beat me black and blue and torture me. Get the school to torture me. Try to get me to get “demons” out.

It's been 4month since my last shot and I'm still losing memory of my self I can't speak I've even starting to lost coordination and it's getting worse I've lost sense o my self even my vision of life change and getting worse wtf is happening I only took 3 shot of invega. I dont recognize my body when im looking at my arm it doesn't feel like it's mine I already talked about this to my doctor he tell me that i have anxiety he doesn't believe me ifeel like invega gave me dementia or sum shit like that I cant express me anymore

Rn ifeel like I'm not my self anymore . I don't remember who I was it faded away and everyday it getting worse but the thing is that I don't take antipsychotic anymore it's been 4 month. I've seen improvement in my mood im not suicidal anymore but my mind is getting worse m . Does someone know if it cause the injection is still in my system so it getting worse or the psychosis that I made 7 month before that cause this I also lost my memory about experience and Ive lost my focus

#Right to not be intoxicated new jersey "failed to demonstrate by clear and convincing evidence it was substantially unlikely that the side effects of antipsychotic medication will interfere with defendant’s ability to assist his attorney and the presentation of his defense,” Rose wrote...Sell v. United States, 539 U.S. 166 (2003)...Riggins v. Nevada, 504 U.S. 127 (1992)" https://newjerseymonitor.com/briefs/appeals-court-rejects-forced-medication-of-mentally-ill-criminal-defendant/

"2021 Revised Code of Washington Title 70 - Public Health and Safety Chapter 70.97 - Enhanced Services Facilities. 70.97.050 - Right to refuse antipsychotic medication. An individual served in a facility has a right to refuse antipsychotic medication. [ 2020 c 278 § 4; 2005 c 504 § 407.]" https://law.justia.com/codes/washington/2021/title-70/chapter-70-97/section-70-97-050/

"71.05.215 - Right to refuse antipsychotic medicine—Rules...unless it is determined that the failure to medicate may result in a likelihood of serious harm or substantial deterioration or substantially prolong the length of involuntary commitment and there is no less intrusive course of treatment than medication in the best interest of that person...unless there is an additional concurring medical opinion approving medication by a psychiatrist, physician assistant working with a supervising psychiatrist, psychiatric advanced registered nurse practitioner, or physician or physician assistant in consultation with a mental health professional with prescriptive authority...right to periodic review of the decision to medicate by the medical director or designee...emergency exists if the person presents an imminent likelihood of serious harm...[ 2020 c 302 § 30; 2018 c 201 § 3008. Prior: 2016 sp.s. c 29 § 228; 2016 c 155 § 3; 2008 c 156 § 2; 1997 c 112 § 16; 1991 c 105 § 1.]" https://law.justia.com/codes/washington/title-71/chapter-71-05/section-71-05-215/

#poisoning children washington is the only state besides florida to inject 13 year olds.

#antipsychotics don't work "more than 100,000 concerns about antipsychotic medications expressed by 57,370 CommonGround users showed the most frequent concerns are that medication is perceived as unhelpful (21%), side effects (13%), impact on health (12%), and concerns about feeling unmotivated to use medication (8%)" https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fprj0000608

“Failure rates are still very high,” noted Richard Hargreaves, who leads the company's main neuroscience research center." https://www.biopharmadive.com/news/psychiatry-drug-development-pharma-neuroscience-karuna/712353/

#overcrowded wards "Michael Williams comparing and contrasting their experience in inpatient psychiatry versus a jail...cigarettes." https://twitter.com/MorganCShields/status/1777088079221678148

#psychological pain "Psychological Pain as a Risk Factor for Suicidal Ideation: An Ecological Momentary Assessment Study on Inpatients With Depression With and Without Comorbid Borderline Personality Disorder." https://www.psychiatrist.com/jcp/psychological-pain-as-risk-factor-for-suicidal-ideation/

#paranoia "Autism and Paranoia: Is There a Connection?...up to 84% of those with ASD have intense fears that could create the belief that they need to be extremely skeptical of others around them as a process of self-preservation and safety." https://www.autismparentingmagazine.com/autism-paranoia-connection/

#why allow dating in wards "we show clear evidence that touch interventions are beneficial across a large number of both physical and mental health outcomes, for both healthy and clinical cohorts." https://www.nature.com/articles/s41562-024-01841-8

#greed "Sioux Falls behavioral health counselor allegedly embezzled thousands from addiction center." https://www.argusleader.com/story/news/crime/2024/04/08/sioux-falls-behavioral-health-counselor-charged-with-2-counts-of-embezzlement-the-arch/73220984007/

…would they acknowledge that blocking both the dopamine and endorphin receptors in the brain would understandably have a chance of taking someone’s ability to feel certain pleasures, including the music that once brought them joy?

Or would they think of the two drugs as having cured what they personally believed to be a sign of disorderly thought, self-destructive behavior, or anything that could reasonably be replaced by “sin”?

What if the psychiatrist rationalized all the reasons why it’s better that the patient lost her taste in music?

Perhaps it will prevent her from going deaf so she can hear her lost baby crying across the local Fred Meyer store?

Even if she didn’t listen loud, perhaps it will keep her alert and not associate yelling and discordance with good times? Nevermind if the level she listens at wasn’t loud, but simply loud enough to annoy the sensitive psychiatrist…. And since people often believe sounds that annoy them (I.e. chewing, barely audible high pitches, etc.) can cause actual hearing loss… he trusted his gut when prescribing?

And perhaps it stressed her out… without her realizing it? What about the clear stereotypy of the headbang? She stopped stimming… what a breakthrough!

Perhaps lowering her motivational salience that led her to such an odd choice for a young lady… will lead to her having a hard time saying “no” to her circle of extroverted, standard-behavior-expecting friends that she so desperately needs to be a part of and assimilate to?

Perhaps telling her that it’s irrational to complain about them and impolite to say no to them will lead to her basically admitting she enjoys them, and having to change the way her voice sounds when someone else shows bad news lest her “that’s terrible” sound cold, and having to make eye contact, and sound pretty and not loud or monotone?

Perhaps this is an unforeseen benefit?

Perhaps the patient is doing well psychosocially now! And even though she no longer feels drive or joy in her now-former dream job of designing printed circuit boards, and cant legally fly a plane which was on her bucket list, and definitely doesn’t have energy for any hobbies “society wives” won’t orchestrally praise you for, she at least has a job and friends, which is what really matters™️

Perhaps if we bully her into only ever making pretty sounds, she’d see why metal was unhealthy?

Perhaps if we show her a study from the 1970s detailing how metal causes all sorts of dysfunctions, she’d understand why we wouldn’t trust her anecdotes?

Perhaps her liking metal will lead to her deafening schoolchildren with Apple Pencils in the eardrums, and we saved her before she got more antisocial?

She no longer has coordination to play bass? Well, delusions of grandeur! She ain’t a musician, that’s a serious profession regulated by school band programs!

Oh, she fell off a scooter and had a seizure? Well, this is the only time the black box warning will admit the drugs slow you down!

Wait… it’s TD? We can’t have this dissident off her meds – now, let’s add on a dopamine depleting agent!!!

Everyfuckingday seem like a fucking dream I can't believe I took those shots in my harm they literally killed me while keeping me alive and the worst is nobody can see that I'm dead they think I'm still like before they think im just depressed but the reality is they destroyed my brain that's really fuckedup I trusted them and now I can't do shit ain't got no future if I don't recover and it feels like I will not be back to the way I was I've lost my character that I built over time all the competence that I gained just vanished its like a part of my brain doesn't work anymore my career is dead i will be broke. I wanna get my revenge so badly.

So many things I wanted accomplish in my life, feels like it will never gon happen. I can forget all my dreams. I had something to prove to all them people who never believed and abandoned me I had only me in this world and now it's finish.my self , my spirit, my dream is gon what I'm gonna do now idk but I rather die then live a life that i can't be the best version of my self I will not live like that fuck no. The only things I truly had in this world was me my soul and now Ive lost it. The only reason im still alive its because of my family .Fuckthis world and fuck INVEGA SUSTENNA

https://www.icc-cpi.int/about/otp/otp-contact

The International Criminal Court has a report link so that they can investigate crimes against humanity in member countries. The USA is not a member, but most countries are.

https://www.icc-cpi.int/about/otp

#jealousy psychiatrist stalked by another psychiatrist, "tormenter resorted to a tired, misogynistic trope: “She’s crazy.” Variations include “the crazy ex-girlfriend” and “the psycho.” It’s all the same insulting nonsense...“untreated borderline.” If only we all could get restraining orders against jealous quacks. https://www.kevinmd.com/2024/04/the-abusers-playbook-the-weaponization-of-mental-health.html

#discrimination against women "If you were a woman in the 19th century, virtually anything you did during the course of a normal day—including drinking tea—might be seen as a reason to have you admitted to a psychiatric facility." https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/80696/19th-century-drinking-too-much-tea-could-get-you-sent-asylum

#train crimes "pervasive culture of fear in our society in which any nonconformist behavior could be punishable...others want to see more police or enforcement officers or other authoritative figures on public transit...24 reported homicides on public transit in 2021 (24 too many, to be clear). During the same year, 42,939 people died in car crashes in the U.S." https://www.portlandmercury.com/opinion/2024/04/05/47120600/street-view-public-transit-safety-concerns-deserve-a-thoughtful-response

#metabolism "antipsychotics studied present similar metabolic profiles. However, the primary exposure to SGAs during the first year of psychosis was associated with significant increases in weight and metabolic parameters, leading to increases in obesity, hypertriglyceridemia, and hypercholesterolemia." https://web.unican.es/portal-investigador/publicaciones/detalle-publicacion?pi=ART4579

#talk therapy Germany, "Statutory health insurers cover up to 80 therapy sessions for behavioral therapy, up to 100 for depth psychology therapy and up to 300 for analytical therapy." https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK279513/

#overcrowded wards "Delayed discharge is problematic. It is financially costly and can create barriers to delivering best patient care, by preventing return to usual functioning and delaying admissions of others in need." https://ijmhs.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13033-024-00635-9

"police involvement during admission traumatic and distressing...Individuals with autism spectrum conditions (ASC) admitted to acute mental health facilities often experience anxiety, fear, and social avoidance." https://typeset.io/questions/what-are-patient-experiences-of-the-admission-process-to-2w6nu6l2hw

south africa, "Carte Blanche: Psychiatric healthcare in shambles...power outages, presence of snakes, ceiling leaks." https://www.msn.com/en-za/health/other/carte-blanche-psychiatric-healthcare-in-shambles-watch/ar-BB1laDn3?ocid=finance-verthp-feeds

"Mental Hospitals — Or Internment Camps for the Neurodiverse?...terror institutions." https://medium.com/@cindywrites/mental-hospitals-or-internment-camps-for-the-neurodiverse-0fb4986c1377

#flawed experiments "article in Nature titled “Reproducible brain-wide association studies require thousands of participants.” https://www.thetransmitter.org/fmri/breaking-down-the-winners-curse-lessons-from-brain-wide-association-studies/

#homeless "Chronic, Disruptive, or Resistant? Target Ecologies and the Medicalization of Homelessness in California." https://academic.oup.com/socpro/advance-article-abstract/doi/10.1093/socpro/spae019/7641531?redirectedFrom=fulltext

#dogs "Organizations like the American Psychiatric Association are touting the benefits of therapy animals and nature therapy, while proclaiming the mental health benefits of pet ownership...Veterinarians in five different states told STAT they were seeing steadily increased pet prescriptions for popular mood stabilizers like Prozac...pet-approved version, Reconcile...little in the world of psychiatric medicine has changed in the last two decades...human-animal interaction department of the American Psychological Association." https://www.statnews.com/2024/04/05/dogs-prozac-fluoxetine-rising-use-reflects-owner-anxiety/

#personal experiences April 6 morning, "The reason the earthquake happened was not enough people being poisoned."

I've lost my memory all the thing that made my character idk who I'm anymore the hobbies that I liked I dont feel love for my parent no connection with nothing. Will everything will come back cause it's feel like it getting worse everyday and I can't do nothing about it

I need someone to explain to me how an antipsychotic can make me lose my soul because it's like I'm a body with nothing inside, no more thinking, nothing, I'm just a body, how is that possible?? Does the antipsychotic harm me? or it's an effect that leave .it's like I'm not aware of myself it's like I've been brain washed I don't know what was damaged anymore I'm just alive.