My husband (32m) and I (27f) have been married for 2.5 years. We both have stable jobs and are emotionally ready for children and want them. The only thing holding us back is our finances. We want to pay off my car loan and save some more money. I am also planning on leaving my job once we have a baby and becoming a stay at home mom. My husband’s income will cover all of our expenses, but I don’t think we will be able to save much so I want to front load our savings now. We want to have 6 months in an emergency fund and a small baby fund. Everyone tells me I’m overthinking it and money comes and goes and you’ll never feel like you have enough, but I am scared of unexpected expenses arising. Our house is older so we have had some larger item repairs like replacing our roof recently. How did you decide when you had “enough” or what are your financial goals prior to TTC?

Please discuss whatever you would like here! Please be mindful of the rules, particularly any TTC/NTNP announcements. Those go in the weekly thread. As does anything within one month of your start date. Thanks!

I’ve always had health anxiety and a huge fear of surgery. I really really want kids but I seem to only read all these horror stories of 3 day labor & failed epidurals & feeling c-sections and I’m honestly scared to even get off birth control and start trying. Has anyone else had these fears and gotten past it? I know in the back of my head it will be worth it but I just can’t seem to push past it.

Also, can someone please dumb down labor pain for me? Is it just the contractions that hurt or does the dilation hurt as well? Is it a different sensation? I can’t seem to find a straight answer on google. Plus they say “pressure” when they really mean intense pain haha.

We’re both 30 and just got married last month. Been together for 6 years now. My partner and I want to give it a few months before trying to conceive. So we’ve made up a list of things we want to do before we start. I’m curious to know if anyone else has a list. Looking for some ideas.

So far on our list we have:

• Run a half marathon
• Refinance our home
• Buy a SUV
• Go on a honeymoon
• Boudoir photoshoot
• Build 6 months emergency fund
• Put a fence around our yard
• Purge the house of junk
• Clean out Basement

For the longest time our plan has been to wait until I get my career. I’m working on my undergraduate and will need graduate school afterwards. This year my dad died and it changed a lot of things for me. This career I used to be so driven about I don’t really care about anymore. I don’t know if it’s worth waiting for and putting a baby on hold for anymore. My husband is ready but how do you know when you’re ready? I feel like the guy never thinks about all the bad things that can come from being new parents. Like the fact that we live in a state with no family. I feel like I’d be so happy for us to start trying but it’s never a thought I had considered before so I don’t even know what to consider. I’ll take any thoughts or advice. 🩷

Husband and I have been together 10 years, married for 1. I’m 30 he’s 31. We both have stable jobs and a large 3 bedroom apartment with affordable rent that we will stay in until we buy a home down the road. (My landlords are my parents, they own the apartment and rent it out to me and DH)

I have about 2 more years left before graduating with my bachelors degree. We were going to wait until I was closer to graduating before starting to try, but now I’m nervous about a possible abortion ban. I live in a blue state, and I keep going back and forth about if I am being overly dramatic or not. Half of me thinks it’s going to be okay, just wait. The other half of me is saying you need to try now before shit hits the fan.

Please discuss whatever you would like here! Please be mindful of the rules, particularly any TTC/NTNP announcements. Those go in the weekly thread. As does anything within one month of your start date. Thanks!

Hey! Excited to join the thread and read everyone’s updates! I started a new job this year which has delayed our TTC journey whilst I got settled in to the role. I haven’t spoken to anyone at the company about my family plans but in their HR policy guidelines it states that to be eligible for company mat pay, employees need to have 1 year's continuous service or more by the 15th week prior to the Expected Week of Childbirth. I’m really struggling to calculate which date I’d be eligible as this would make a big difference to our savings goals. Could anyone please help (I will have 1 year service by 10th June)? I hope this doesn’t seem silly but I got confused due to the way pregnancy is calculated from missed period vs ovulation/conception date.

Please discuss whatever you would like here! Please be mindful of the rules, particularly any TTC/NTNP announcements. Those go in the weekly thread. As does anything within one month of your start date. Thanks!

Hey guys! I just need somewhere to went a little and I hope this forum is okay.

Yesterday I took a pregnancy test and it came out negative. We aren’t really trying right now due to a number of factors, me being made redundant, us getting married in August next year and such.

I tried to not get my hopes up but I really really want a baby and I want to be pregnant. It’s one of my biggest dreams I’ve come to realise.

When the test came back negative I just felt this deep sadness and couldn’t really handle it. My fiancé didn’t seem to be bothered by it and made some jokes about me not giving him a baby. And I know truly that he didn’t mean to make me feel bad he was just joking but I don’t think he realised how it affected me.

I don’t really know what to say I just feel so empty and sad…

It’s not a rational thought since I know it would have been a bad timing but I didn’t think it would feel like this. Never have any other time I’ve done a test.

Thank you for reading I don’t feel like I can talk to anyone about this cuz I feel really silly

My doctor says my Oestradiol is low.

I got the test done on day 3 of my period.

The results were: Fsh 3.2 u/l Lh 3.5 u/l Oestradiol: 71 pmol

I have a long history of an eating disorder with on and off amenorrhea. I am around bmi 17.4, and am currently experiencing the first period I've had in well over a year.

I have also taken the ECP a LOT. Like at least 20 times. I am not currently on birth control. Most recently I took the mini pill for a few months last year.

I'm really worried as I want kids one day. My partner has fertility issues as it is which is bad enough. Is low Oestradiol something permanent - I suppose caused by the shit I've put my body through - or do I still have hope and just need to give it more time?

How badly will low Oestradiol affect my fertility anyway?

I can't get into the doctor for several weeks so would appreciate some facts to tide me over.

Thank you :)

We are going to start trying March 2025! Did you do any pre conception visits with your OBGYN? What did those consist of? genetic carrier testing?

I asked my gyno what preconception care or tests she can recommend and she said they don’t really do anything like that :/ ????

I've been on a medication for depression/anxiety for over a decade. I'd like to try to conceive. I've asked two OBs (and my psychiatric NP prescriber) for their opinions on whether I should continue on my med, but all of them have told me to ask someone else. Should I consult with a maternal fetal medicine specialist or a reproductive psychiatrist, or someone else?

Thanks so much.

Hi everyone! I'm excited to have found this subreddit and want to share my own story :) (sorry it's long, tl;dr at the bottom)

Edit: just wanted to clarify that we DO NOT plan on having kids until AT LEAST 1-2 years from now, if not more. This post is mainly just for me to rant about how hard it is to wait when I want it so bad but I know neither of us are in a position to have a baby any time soon, and to maybe get some advice on how to be more productive.

My bf (m28) and I (f21) have been together for a little over a year. I've been in a handful of relationships, but this is his first. We moved in together a few months ago and our relationship is amazing. I know he's the one, and he will be an amazing husband and father. We've talked many times about our future together, but he only recently told me that he wants a baby by the time he's 30. That would mean I'd need to get pregnant within the next year, which is just way too soon for me. We had a discussion and compromised by adding 2 years, but I'm still not sure if that's enough time for me. I also know he would never pressure me if I wasn't ready and I'm sure he would be willing to wait longer for me as well. I know he's also not ready for a baby yet so it's not a deal breaker for him. At the same time, all I can ever think about is how much I want a baby.

I'm finishing school right now and would like at least 1-2 years working in the industry to build my career before I start throwing kids into the mix, plus I've struggled a lot with depression and anxiety in the past. Even though my mental health isn't as "bad" anymore, I struggle a lot with getting things done. I spend hours on my phone every day lurking reddit, reading articles online, etc. I stay up very late every night on my phone, like 3-4am, and then wake up late in the morning. I haven't been working on my final project for school at all the last week and I haven't "clocked in" for my remote, unpaid internship in weeks. I rarely do any chores around the house, even just doing the dishes feels like a huge accomplishment. I don't exercise, can't even take the dog on a walk most days. I don't even participate in hobbies very often, even though that would actually be fun. I'm also an alcoholic (usually 4-6 drinks every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, sometimes weekdays too) and addicted to vaping which I want to quit before we start TCC, but it seems so difficult. I'm so excited about reading pregnancy/kid related things and so overjoyed at the thought of becoming a mother that I don't spend enough time actually getting my life in order.

Even though my mood is mostly stable and I feel happy most of the time, I feel like I'm setting myself up for failure. I went to therapy briefly at the beginning of the year but it didn't do much for me. I just feel like I'm always so lazy, I still feel like a kid (I'm only 21 so basically still a kid lol) who can't even take care of myself, let alone an actual child, but part of me hopes I accidentally get pregnant because having a baby will magically fix all my problems! But I know that's not the case. And I think that would be selfish of me to do when my own life is such a mess. I guess I just wanted to rant a little and also ask for advice on how to actually be productive and stop thinking about kids so much and focus on myself?

tl;dr: Neither of us are ready for a baby in the next couple years, but we both want it bad. I am addicted to my phone and never get things done but I want to build healthy habits and work on self improvement to eventually become a mother, where do I start?

SO & I were really close to transitioning from WTT to TTC. With the news of election results and uncertainty of the future, I already brought up the need to sit down and rediscuss our plans.

Is Todays results making you rethink your timeline and plans? I know everything is so new and emotions are high, but maybe my follow WTTers have thoughts.

Please discuss whatever you would like here! Please be mindful of the rules, particularly any TTC/NTNP announcements. Those go in the weekly thread. As does anything within one month of your start date. Thanks!

It’s open enrollment season - what insurance plans are yall choosing? I currently have an HSA but am considering switching so we’re not stuck paying out of pocket next year if we get pregnant right away.

Hey everyone. I got my mirena coil removed on the 13th of September I had a 3 day bleed starting from 6th of October until 8th of October. I'm using Flo to track everything and it's saying my period is late and to take a pregnancy test. I've taken multiple and they are negative. I am currently 2 days late of a 28 day cycle. I'm suffering cramps but no period is coming. My appetite has increased a lot and I feel hungry a lot. Is this normal after mirena removal I'm worried it's caused issues.

Hello all! So I've been off birth control for about 2 weeks now and I have discovered some of the post birth control symptoms; fatigue, body aches and mild headaches. The fatigue specifically is already kicking my butt a bit cuz I gotta work everyday and push through it. If anyone wants to share how they got through the fatigue and stories please feel free cuz I'm hoping this is a common experience

So excited as I am expected to ovulate this weekend! However, I noticed my hubbie and I are so much more anxious than I thought we would be? There's a lot of family stuff happening on both sides plus the election i'm wondering if this is adding to the stress pile!

Has anyone felt this way? We are financially stable, been to the doctors to make sure we're healthy, been going to church more often and really in a good place. We openly discuss how badly we want to be parents but we're experiencing some cold feet. I also made sure to tell him that it's okay to wait a bit longer. What can we do to feel that joy and excitement again?

Please discuss whatever you would like here! Please be mindful of the rules, particularly any TTC/NTNP announcements. Those go in the weekly thread. As does anything within one month of your start date. Thanks!

I am a late bloomer (didn't start dating until my late 20s, didn't meet my partner until two years ago and just got married in my mid/late-thirties). Maybe partly for that reason, I was a fencesitter for most of my life. I felt I would be content without kids, and MAY be happy with kids. Then I met my partner who is amazing, and we talked things through, and all our friends started having babies (it's typical in my social network to be first time parents in your mid-thirties). Now I'm on the baby side of the fence but still kind of brushing up against it.

Financially, life-wise, we're ready. BOTH sets of parents are healthy and nearby, which is crazy lucky. But I'm not emotionally ready. I want to enjoy my marriage for longer, especially since we met so late in life. I feel like there are so many years for us to catch up on. We are just barely starting to form a family of two, getting into a rhythm, getting our house all set up... a kid would throw that all for a loop. Career-wise, I am not a high performer due to ADHD and I want to get treated and get better. I want to be a valuable team member before going on maternity, because I'm worried about being laid off during leave otherwise. And generally I just feel like I'm not "completed" yet and there is so much more to learn and do and grow into. And I do know that you can still live and learn and grow as a mom, but it necessarily takes a backseat and is kind of a fun bonus if time permits, rather than the focus of your life.

But on the other hand, it feels stupid not to go in yesterday and get my IUD taken out. I'm a person but I'm also an oven with a countdown timer until self-destruction. I saw a thread on Reddit where commenters were dissuading a 32 year old woman who got pregnant with someone she had been dating for 2 months from having an abortion, because it might be her LAST CHANCE. I think that's absurd and probably most of those commenters are teenagers, but it's depressing to think that everyone already sees me as being well past my expiration date. And I'm extremely frustrated that a 32 year old man would never have to field such comments, or feel like an oven with an expiration date.

I don't know what I'm posting for... maybe just for commiseration. I'm an immature kid at heart and I'm simultaneously not ready but also anxious about procrastinating.

Hello! My husband and I are WTT until beginning of 2025 (most likely)! It’s so close but it feels so far away at the same time. I am finishing up my bachelor’s degree in December and there’s just a few things we want to figure out before WTT. It’s all very logical but I’ve found myself getting more impatient the closer it gets. I’m wondering what you’ve done while WTT that has helped ease the impatience and helped you get ready!

Hey! I’ve been looking into nutrition and how it impacts fertility. Have you made any dietary changes that you believe have helped you? Any suggestions would be fantastic! Thanks a lot!

My husband and I have been planning on trying for a baby in February for the last year. This would put my due date around the end of October however, my sister told me a few weeks ago that she’s planned her wedding for October 18th. If we get pregnant on our first try, I would be due a week after her wedding.

While I know that my sister would be very understanding if something were to happen (early labor, not feeling up to going, etc.) I don’t want to miss out on her special day. Should we push our first month trying to March just to be safe?

Congratulations on your graduation! Please share all graduation related chat here. Please also discuss any TTC you'd like with your fellow alumni!

Please discuss whatever you would like here! Please be mindful of the rules, particularly any TTC/NTNP announcements. Those go in the weekly thread. As does anything within one month of your start date. Thanks!

Please discuss whatever you would like here! Please be mindful of the rules, particularly any TTC/NTNP announcements. Those go in the weekly thread. As does anything within one month of your start date. Thanks!

Hi! I got my AMH tested recently and it was 1.67. That was odd, given I have been diagnosed with PCOS, and had no periods for many years due to weight gain when I was in my late 20s - now on the pill and medically regulating those.

Because of all of the things I've been through (stress impacting my cycle / lifelong history of obesity), I'm wondering if I've put my fertility into too much stress for it to be able to "work well" later.

The AMH kind of shook me, as the doctor was expecting 3+ and said this could be an early sign of DOR.

Wanted to understand what other's experiences were.

Btw I just found this sub and it’s so comforting knowing their’s people like me who are waiting :)

I’m American and my husband’s Canadian and we’ve been living in Canada for more than a year now since we’ve been married waiting for his green card. We both refuse to have children here and don’t want to start trying until after he receives his green card and we can move to the States. Mentally, I’m getting so ready to start a family but it hurts knowing that I don’t have much control over when we can really start trying. It kinda feels like I’m in prison just waiting to get out so we can start our life. :(

Anyways, I would love to know if anyone here is in a similar situation! xoxo